a day in the life

v day

2012-02-13T22:25:00.001-08:00

Valentines day.....not my favorite holiday. Why do we need a day to celebrate our love? Shouldn't we be celebrating that everyday? Isn't that what anniversaries are for? Plus, what a bummer day for the single people! Nothing like having it rubbed in your face that you don't have someone to love.

Let's change the subject.

Thank you all for the kind words about blogging. I feel the love. (heh heh) Maybe I should send you all a valentine...

I'm thinking one way of getting back on the blogging train might be to change the look of my blog. I really, really, really, love the look of my blog, I think it's really sexy. But I think it's time to change things up. I don't know. I used to be pretty good at templates, but I haven't done one in so long, I'd probably screw it up. I certainly didn't make this one, Ceeci made it for me.

I guess I'll just think about it.

This weekend, they were showing Pretty Woman on TV. I'm a sucker for that movie. I don't know why, but I find it extremely hot. Ok, I'm lying, I know exactly why I find that movie hot. Edward is so hot. I don't mean he's hot in looks, I mean, Richard Gere is ok, but that is not what I find so hot. I find his dominance hot. He has the air of dominance about him that makes me tingle. The Julia Roberts character isn't dumb but she needs him to guide her into his world. She takes joy out of the little things in life and he is therefore introduced to parts of her world. But..because he's so dominate in his business life, he carries that over to his personal life. And who wouldn't want to make love on a piano?

Besides, love conquers all in this cheesy movie that I love so well.

I would like love to conquer all, everyday, not just on valentines day.

Go and love, not just today, but everyday.

grace

thinking of blogging again

2012-02-09T22:15:00.001-08:00

I've been thinking about this blog and wondering what I should do with it. Should I keep blogging, or should I say, should I start blogging again? Should I quit blogging? Should I delete the blog? Should I keep the blog? (I'm keeping the blog.) More importantly, what should I have for dinner?

Well, the dinner question was answered rather quickly, (chicken, if you must know) but the blog questions were more daunting. I'm just not sure what I should do.

Because I don't know what to do, I did what I do best. I spent money. 80 dollars to be exact. It's a lot of money to be spending on blogging, don't you think? I bet you are wondering how the heck I spent 80 bucks on blogging.

I was thinking of all the reasons why I haven't been blogging. Lack of things to write about is a big part of it. But a bigger part is just not feeling well. I am not going to bore you (again) with my health issues. I will say, don't worry, nothing life threatening. BUT, because I haven't been feeling well, I spend a whole lot of time on the sofa. I watch a lot of crap tv, but I also spend a lot of time on my ipad.

Have I mentioned that I love my ipad? If I wasn't married, I would marry my ipad.

Anyway, I spend most of my computer time on my ipad. I don't have to wait for it to turn on, I don't have to get up off the sofa and I can watch tv and surf the net at the same time. The downfall to my precious ipad is typing. It's not the best thing for typing things on. A comment on facebook isn't too bad, but a long blog post...forget about it. I would be typing for days.

So I finally decided that if I was going to blog more often, I needed to be able to do it from the sofa and on my ipad. I know what you are thinking....laptop. And I have a laptop. But it's heavy and bulky and takes forever to turn on. Plus there is the charger wire and the mouse wire...if I want to be comfortable.

I bet you have finally figured out what I spent my 80 bucks on, didn't you?

Yep, I bought a keyboard for my ipad.

Yes, 80 dollars seems like a lot, but it was the only one that was full size and didn't fold. I'll just say, I LOVE it.

What I didn't realize is that blogger doesn't work very well on ipad, so I had to upload an app, and I am hoping this works. I am bummed that I can't figure out how to make my signature work, but it's just a small thing. If I can make this work, I might actually start blogging again.

So, consider this a test. I'm testing my new keyboard and I'm testing my new app and I'm testing my brain, just to see if it still works.

If this works, I may be up to blogging more often.

Maybe.....

grace

an email to a friend

2012-01-11T19:53:00.000-08:00

Dear PK

I am a horrible friend! Simply horrible! I haven't emailed you in ages and that's just not right. My only excuse, and believe me it's not a very good one, is that I do most of my web surfing on my ipad and it's such a pain to type with, that I only comment or email if it's going to be something short and sweet.

I saw from your posts that you had a great holiday! We had a nice one too. I think we hung around too much around the house, Bossman said he needed a vacation from his vacation. Whatever! I had a great time!

The day after New Years, we decided to paint our game room. Our game room is ginormous! (Is ginormous a word?) We had to buy a special pole to paint the ceiling and a ladder for the trim. We are STILL working on this room, but it's looking awfully pretty! The day after we starting painting, the wildchild informed me that she got a DUI. The day after that my son got in trouble with the sheriff.

Oh wait...did you want more details? I was hoping to sail right by that sentence and pretend it didn't exist.

Apparently, in the beginning of December, my daughter got a DUI. I guess she was 2 points over the limit. Luckily her car didn't get impounded. She had a friend pick her up from jail. (oh how proud I am to type this sentence) Her court date was the end of December and her friend took her to court. She didn't hire an attorney so the public defender took her case. She lost her license for 3 months, she has to pay 2300 dollars and she has to sign up for a 3 month class, which costs 400 dollars. Once she signs up for the class, she can get a restricted license, which she can use to drive to work and school. Oh, did I mention she lost her job in the middle of December? She didn't get fired, she got laid off, the company moved to Las Vegas. But, no job means no money.

Of course I didn't find out about the DUI until she told me last week. She didn't ask for money. She's waiting for unemployment. I'm so proud!!!

Amazingly enough, Bossman didn't have a fit. Oh, he was mad....as was I, but he didn't fly off the handle. He said we were NOT helping her with her fines, or anything related to the DUI. She was going to have to figure out how take care of it. Apparently she can work some of it off with community service. Did I mention how PROUD I am?

I am so upset that she could do that. Every time she leaves this house I say, "Don't drink and drive." and she always yells back....I KNOW!

She claims she was the most sober of her friends and she really didn't think she was over the limit. She said she was surprised when they did the breathalyzer and it was over. It's so EASY for someone to think they are sober when they aren't. I told her I was actually glad she got pulled over because she might have gotten into an accident on the way home. She could have killed herself or others! GAH!

She's not a a bad kid, but she sure makes some dumb decisions!!!

As for my son....it's kind of a funny story.

My son was spending the night a a friends house. Bossman is on the phone with a friend when I get a call on my cell from the little man.

The conversation goes something like this:

little man: Mom, we got in serious trouble.

Me: What? what kind of trouble?

little man: Just come down by K's house......

Me: Whaaaa?????

new voice: Hello Ma'am, this is Officer Smith from the sheriffs department.

Me: Oh......Oh Hi.

Officer Smith: Your son and his friends were door-bell ditching a friend from school. They did it a couple of times and the parents got upset about it so they called us out.

Me: Oh...oh wow. (I am a woman of many words!) Where should I pick him up?

Officer Smith: It's ok, we will let them walk home.

Me: ok, thanks officer.

end call.

I hang up and Bossman asks what's up. I tell him. He goes to pick him up from his friends.

Bossman gets there and they have 8 boys sitting on the curb with their heads in their laps. Bossman says there were 3 cop cars and 4 officers. All with the their lights on.

Bossman said the cops were laughing about it and shaking their heads. When they saw the mad dad show up, they just asked...which one is yours and let my son go with him. My son was the one with the red eyes, crying, but in a manly way...LOL

The little man was very upset when he got home. I could tell he'd been crying. He said he was just following along with the other kids and he didn't even want to do it. Yeah...right!

I have to admit...the whole thing is funny! But he is not allowed at friends houses for at least a month.

Have a mentioned how proud I am of my two criminal children? I am raising such upstanding citizens!

So, that was my week. How was yours?

HUGS!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

The mexican line

2011-10-27T14:08:00.000-07:00

My son's Jr. high has a serious problem. The lunch food is too good.

I know what your thinking....since when is a school lunch good?

It's so good that the lunch lines are extremely long. Some of the 8th graders have to stand in line the whole lunch period and then have to gobble their lunch down quickly before the bell rings.

My son? He's got a system.

The other day, we were talking about his lunch period. He was telling me how the lines were long. Apparently the 7th graders get out for lunch 10 minutes earlier, but now that the quarter is ending the 8th graders will get to be the ones getting out earlier. It's a HUGE deal, if you happen to be in 8th grade.

My son was telling all about this when he started telling me his system for getting through the line quicker.

It involves cutting in line. heh!

Anyway, he's telling me his method and he says to me that the mexican line is shorter.

Whaaaa???? HUH????

The mexican line?

I couldn't believe they had a line just for the mexicans. What is this world coming to?

My son, on the other hand, couldn't figure out what I was talking about. He just stared at me.

Finally, he says to me, "Mom, the mexican line is for mexican FOOD, not people. And the mexican food is not as good as the pasta."

Oh.

When he told me that I just couldn't stop laughing. I can't believe I thought there was a line just for the mexicans. D'oh!

I won't go into his system because, like I said, it involves cutting the line, but he assures me that right now he has a much better plan for getting through the line.

He helps his friend that has a broken leg. Broken legs get you to the front...along with your helper.

Ahhhh, my son. He just cracks me up!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

The results are IN!

2011-10-20T12:28:00.000-07:00

The results came back fine with the ct scan. The doc said there was nothing wrong with my head and I said he better check again. I'm not right in the head...but I've known that since I was little. It's just nothing they can see on a scan...HA!

Since I've gotten the results I feel much better! I used to think I handled stress nicely, now a days, not so much. So, now that I'm not stressing about brain cancer, I can stress about stomach cancer or liver cancer. Or.....maybe I can stop worrying about my health and start enjoying my life. Hmmm, could that really happen?

In other news, I just finished reading all the Harry Potter books (again) and oh how I love them so. I've actually been spending the last couple of days just thinking about Harry and his friends and how or what they should have done different at the final battle against You-Know-Who. I love books that keep me thinking days and even weeks after. BTW, if you have only watched the movies you are totally missing out. The movies are ok, but the books ROCK!

Now that I've finished I need something new to read. If you ask what kind of books I like I can't tell you. I like all kinds! The only kind I'm not really into is Sci-Fi.

What are you reading? Anything I might like? I need something new to sink my teeth into.

I've been sitting here trying to figure out what else to write about and I've got nothing. That's how boring my life is right now. Although I need to figure out what to do with myself, right now, boring is kind of nice.

I'll try to be more entertaining next time.

Written while ignoring laundry by::

ct scan

2011-10-13T10:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had the CT scan. I survived!!!

CT scans are so much easier than the MRI. I KNOW, MRI's give more detail, but I doubt there is anything to find, so I'm not really worried.

I will say though, they had to put some dye in my veins. OUCH!

See, ever since the BC, they can't use my left arm for blood, for IV's or for blood pressures. This is because they took a lymph node from that side when I had my surgery. Problem is, my right arm does NOT have the good veins.

The result? Nice big bruise on my arm.

Whatever....I'm just glad the whole stupid thing is over. I won't find out the results until Monday, but I am pretty sure that it's a whole pile of nothing, so I'm just ready to move on to the next thing.

What is the next thing? That is the million dollar question.

I don't think I'm handling my life very well right now. I might need some help with that.

Of course that would involve finding out what my insurance covers and then finding someone good around here and then actually making an appointment.

Um, yeah, just typing that sentence made me tired.

I prefer the "bury my head in the sand" method of living right now. I'm just floating through life, mostly on the sofa.

I'm fine though. I always muddle through. And Bossman has been really sweet to me. The other night I was super hot....the weather has been in the 90's around here lately....and I laid naked on the bed. Bossman brought out some powder and turned off the lights. By the dim light of his cell phone (what? doesn't everyone use their phones for light sources?) he proceeded to powder me down. It was so sweet and wonderful to just lay there and be. I somehow found the way to shut my brain off and just enjoyed the touch of my husbands hand.

It was nice.

Just what the doctor ordered........

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Friday Fail

2011-10-11T10:32:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, I went to my oncologist for a routine check up. I go every 3 months. I told my onco about the dizzy spells and the vertigo. He proceeded to ask 20 questions to find out if there was anything else going on. THEN, he said he would like me to have an MRI, just to be sure.

Anytime you are diagnosed with cancer, you have to be prepared to always have that in the back of your mind, even when you are finished with treatments.

Have you ever had an MRI?

I had one last year on my neck and although it was a little claustrophobic, I managed to survive.

This time, not so much.

Friday morning, Bossman and I went to the hospital for the test. I was trying really hard to remind myself that it wasn't so bad and I'd be done in no time and I shouldn't be worried.

I left Bossman in the waiting room and I went with the tech. I thought I would have to take off all the metal stuff, like last time. The tech said I didn't need to as only my head was going in. I really thought this wasn't going to be bad.

She had me lay on the bed and gave me ear plugs. THEN she put foam cushions around my head. THEN she put a metal cage thing over my head with a mirror, so I could look out. Before that, I was licking my lips and she told me I couldn't do that. She said I couldn't wiggle my nose if I got an itch either. I asked how long I was going to have to do this and she said 30 min. That is when I pretty much lost my cool. I knew this wasn't going to happen. Took everything off my head and said she would call my hubby and have him hold my hand.

Um, no. By this time I was almost in tears.

I told her no. I couldn't do it.

So, I left.

Now, I'm not a claustrophobic person, but that was too much. I couldn't hear a thing and I felt like my head was entombed in a cement case.

Oh no...that wasn't going to work for me.

So, this week, I'll have a CT scan instead.

And I'll try not to lose my shit.

Written while ignoring laundry by::

pink, pink, you stink!

2011-10-04T12:31:00.000-07:00

It's pink October. That means that every single thing you are thinking of buying is pink. I've seen pink cat food, I've seen pink blenders and I've seen pink underwear. Not sure how wearing pink underwear is going to show your support....but whatever!
I suppose I should be supportive of all this pink. I mean, I am a survivor, if that's what you want to call me. But really, I am NOT a fan of pinktober.

First of all, do you live under a rock? Because frankly, unless you live under a rock, I don't really need to make you aware of breast cancer. We all know it's there. We all know that we should get a mammogram after the age of 40, or if you have history of BC in your family. We all KNOW we should be doing self exams. WE KNOW for goodness sakes!

I'm very skeptical about buying the pink stuff. Lets face it...the prices on the pink stuff are usually jacked up. Also, how much of the money actually goes where it says it's going to go? I feel much better donating to the Relay for Life (which supports ALL cancer) or straight to a breast cancer organization. Actually, I'd prefer to donate to someone that is in the middle of treatments and needs help financially.

But hey, if you want to buy the pink stuff....go ahead, I'm not going to give you a funny look or anything.

Also, as far as being a survivor....heh! It feels weird saying that. I mean, it's not like I got in a car crash, or was stranded out at sea for weeks. Heck, I just had a little surgery, had a little radiation and everything is fine. Seriously, I'm also a survivor of the flu and recently I'm the survivor of a stubbed toe, which, OMG, that really, really HURT! ( and it bled all over the house before I realized it was bleeding and now I may lose the nail and it was my pinkie toe...so) I feel more of a survivor when I talk about D. Surviving watching someone you love die...well, it was a lot harder than the cancer stuff.

I will admit that I do have a pink ribbon on my car that says survivor. My profile does say I'm a survivor and I even have pink ribbons on my blog page. I only say I'm a survivor because I can't think of another word. I mention it on my profile because it's a part of who I am now. I didn't ask for that part, but I got it anyway.

I'm sad that there isn't more emphasis on the other cancers. When I told D I had cancer, she said, and she said it would sound bad, but she said that she wished she had had breast cancer because it gets the most attention and the most money and the most research. She also really loved the color pink.

So, that's my thoughts on pinktober.

Now go get your mammogram!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Physical Thursday

2011-09-20T11:44:00.000-07:00

Thursday I went and had my annual physical. This included checking under the hood and squeezing the boobs. She did the vertigo test...yes, there is a test for that and I still have it. It hasn't bothered me that much lately, but it's still there. Also, remember how I'm on 2 blood pressure meds? Every time I go to the doc I have high blood pressure. Every. Single. Time. But now, suddenly my blood pressure is low. I mean, like 98 over 62 low. heh.

I am shocked by this. I can't believe it. I also can't believe I didn't have to wait for an hour in the waiting room, but that's a different story. Seriously....I'm surprised. So when the doc comes in, I'm sure she's going to say something about it.

I was sure.

She didn't.

I ended up bringing it up. Mind you, I've been going to this doc for YEARS! She knows my history. So I ask her about it. "Oh" she says, "yes, well that does seem low for you. Maybe we should cut one of the meds and see how that goes." See how that goes? GAH! I ask if she thinks that could be causing me to be dizzy and she says, " why yes, yes it could."

Just call me Dr.Grace M.D.

So after we get that sorted and she looks at all my privates, she says I should get a tetanus shot. You know, the one you get every 10 years. It also keeps that pesky whooping cough away.

So they give me the shot. Doesn't hurt a bit. Never even felt it.

Next day, I felt a little off. Couldn't put my finger on it, but I just didn't feel my normal dizzy self. But HELL, my arm was sore!!!!

By the evening, I had a slight fever. By morning my arm has swollen A LOT and did I mention it hurt like HELL? I think I ended up with all the side effects. Which according to Dr. Google, only 1 out of every 100 adults get. Whoo...am I lucky or WHAT???? I'm better now, but my arm still has a swollen spot. Stupid shot.

Ah life. Sometimes it's such a bitch.

On to another though provoking topic....

My biggest pet peeve...(besides the people selling stuff in front of the grocery store)

Sitting on a warm toilet.

That's all.

Written while ignoring laundry by::

The post that didn't want to get written

2011-09-15T13:07:00.000-07:00

I've can't believe I didn't post a single thing in August. I hate when bloggers do that. I wait anxiously for my favorite bloggers to post a new post and get frustrated when it takes so long for them to post, YET, I take a long time to post something myself. It's a double standard for sure!

So, sorry. I apologize for my absence.

I don't have an excuse really. I just couldn't get enough mojo to write anything.  My life has been a roller coaster of health problems.  Don't worry, nothing major. Just stuff that is annoying and weird and just sucking me dry as far as motivation goes.

Motivation.  I has none.

I've had a case of vertigo that has caused me to just want to sit on the couch and not move. You remember the song, "You spin me right round baby, right round, like a record player, right, round right round"? Well, that was the theme song for me.  Endless spinning. Of course that meant no driving. And I pretty much just sat on my butt all day and did NOTHING. Which caused me to fall into a depression that has been hard to drag myself out of.

Also, I take 3 different meds a day. 2 for blood pressure and one for the cancer. Those 3 meds are making me soooooo tired that I can hardly hold my head up. YET, I'd be so tired that I couldn't sleep. I KNOW, that makes NO sense to me either, but it's a vicious cycle that is hard to break.

I know I should probably talk to someone about the depression, but honestly, I don't want to take another medicine. I hate it. If there is a side effect...I WILL have it. I just can't handle anymore side effects.

So, I'm trying to drag myself out of it myself. Now that the vertigo is less, I've been able to walk by myself without worrying about falling down. So, I've been trying to get out of the house and take a short walk everyday. I've been making sure to do something around the house. Just doing the dishes makes me feel like I've done something productive and that has helped a lot.

It's hard when you feel unimportant and unneeded. Bossman tells me all the time that I am important to the family and that the family would fall apart without me, but sometimes I can't help thinking I'm nothing but a burden. I KNOW, I'm not a burden. Trust me, I KNOW.

2010 and 2011 have been hell. Between the cancer, D's death and now more recent, my step father passed away in August...it's just been overwhelming. I haven't known how to feel about my SF's death. We weren't close. He abused me when I was younger. I've made peace with that. He was my brothers father. Without him there would be no brother. I can't imagine life without brother. I feel bad that he passed. My poor brother was the only one there for him when he passed. My baby (35) brother had to watch his father pass and nobody was there for him. It was a hard passing too, the last hours SF was in a lot of pain. He was only 59.

Life is so hard to deal with. I don't know how I'm suppose to feel. I am starting to feel like a hypochondriac because I always have a problem. I'm actually relieved when the doc finds something because then I know it wasn't just in my head.

Sad, isn't it?

Anyway, this is my life. So I'm writing about it. I figure maybe writing it all out will help. Well, it can't hurt. Through all that, I still like my husband to spank me. We had a long dry spell, but the other day he did pull me over his knee and give me a few swats. I was a big baby about it, but it was nice and it made me feel more.....I don't know....does it seem weird that it made me feel more normal?

Well, if it's weird, it's no more weirder than the rest of my life.

Written while ignoring laundry by::

unexpected spanking

2011-07-27T13:35:00.000-07:00

It was about 4:15 in the afternoon and I was lazying around on the porch swing in the backyard, just reading a book. The little man comes out to tell me he's heading out on his bike to meet up with some friends.

I realize I'm alone. What do I do? I continue reading my book, of course. Bossman comes in the door about 15 minutes later.

First thing he notices is....we are home alone. I'm still thinking about my book so nothing really crosses my mind as to what that really means. I follow Bossman into the bedroom, like I usually do, so he can change out of his work clothes.

After he changes, he pulls me over his lap. WHAT??? I wasn't even thinking about it. I wasn't prepared.

As the pants go down around my ankles I wonder (as I usually do) what the heck was I thinking. Why do I put myself through this?

He spanks with his hand. I forgot how hard and unforgiving his hand can be on a virgin tushy. After a few minutes of that he switches to the backscratcher.

I should remind you....I haven't had a spanking in almost two months. My viginized butt didn't like the sting that backscratcher handed out. It was very ouchy.

I tried getting away, he held me tighter. Hmmmm, I think I liked that. No, I KNOW I liked that.

There wasn't much talking but the laundry DID get brought up. He asked why he has to spank his woman to get his laundry done.

Good question.

I'll get back to him on that one.

Eventually, he stopped spanking, pulled up my pants and sent me on my way.

The rest of the night I sat on a tingly bottom.

Then I realized why I put myself through that.

I liked it!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

The big C

2011-07-24T13:44:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for dog food advice. I've been looking things up online and we haven't made a decision about her food yet. Some days she's just more itchy than others. Today she's fine. Even if it's not the food, after all the stuff I've been reading, I'd like to give her something more healthy for her instead of just going with the cheapy stuff.

So....do any of you watch a show called The big C? It's on showtime. If you don't watch it, the theme is simple. It's about a woman that has incurable cancer. You'd think it would be sad, but it's more of a sitcom.

Anyway, I started watching this show and at first I didn't think I was going to like it. I mean I've gone the cancer road and did I really want to think about it again? But, I'm morbid. Even when I am contemplating my own mortality, I can't help but see how others go through it. So I started watching.

Over all the show is pretty good. BUT....there are some parts that bother me.

The biggest complaint? She waits 3 months before she tells anyone she's dying.

WHO does that? WHY would you do that?

I don't get it. Wouldn't you want to tell your family so you could enjoy the last remaining months or years and your family could enjoy you?

Um no. She decides to kick her hubby out of the house and doesn't let her son go to soccer camp. She thinks she's going to spend the summer with her teenage son...(yeah right...) but instead the son is complete upset with her and spends his time with his friends. So, she ends up having an affair.

I don't get it.

I'm on to season two now, she's told her family and has decide to pursue treatment. She's let her husband come back. I guess if you have cancer it's ok to have an affair.....

Well....what do you think? Would you wait for months before telling anyone in your family about your health? Would you forgive your spouse if they had an affair and then told you they were dying of cancer?

I'm just curious.

I'm also ready to be spanked now! (I'm just saying that in case Bossman stops by to read..)

Written while ignoring laundry by::

you would think...

2011-07-22T14:48:00.000-07:00

I had good intentions of spending this summer writing in this blog. I was hoping to visit more blogs and leave more comments. I was thinking of jumping back in and catching up with old friends and possibly finding new ones.

I seem to always have good intentions, but they never get me very far if I don't act on them!

You would think that having a week home without the little man would result in some fabulous spanking stories.

You would think....

You would think I would have had some great sex that week also.

You would think....

Instead, the wild child was home all week sick. Any time that Bossman and I had together was outside the house and not really appropriate for sex or spanking.

Oh well, life is what happens when your busy making plans. (Or something like that...)

On a completely unrelated note...

What kind of dog food do you use?

Our dog is getting skin rashes and a friend suggested that it was the food. I admit, I buy the crap at walmart. I feel bad now! Poor thing. I should be feeding her the good stuff! So, what is the good stuff? I've searched online and there is such a wide variety that it made my head spin. I can't figure out which website is telling me the truth and which just wants me to buy their stuff.

So help a girl (and a dog) out....what kind of food should I feed her?

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Curious

2011-06-29T14:09:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, I just finished washing the kitchen floor and I've already done two, count them, TWO, loads of laundry.

I would say this day is a success!

This week has been good. Along with the cleaning, I've been getting out of the house more. Did you know that there are people out there....in the world? And they are doing stuff! They are on the roads and in the stores. They are everywhere! It's nice to be in the land of the living again!

Guess what I got for my birthday. I know, my birthday was a long time ago but still...guess!

If you said Ipad, you would be correct!

Can I just tell you how much I LOVE my Ipad? Well, I'm going to tell you anyway.

It's so nice to have the internet at the touch of a button. I don't have to wait for it to boot up or anything. One click of the button and I'm on the internet. Love it!

I don't really like typing on it, it's sort of like texting...I'm not good at the texting. And you can't do anything that requires flash....but man...I do like my Ipad!

I'm wondering if anybody else has an ipad. Are there apps that I should have? I only have a few games on it and I feel like I'm not using it to it's full potential. So, is there anything else I should know about the ipad?

While I'm at it.....what about links? I'm curious to know what your favorite NON-spanking links are. What are your favorite websites? Actually, I wouldn't mind knowing what your favorite spanking websites are also.

So fill me in, what am I missing out on this great thing called the internet?

Written while ignoring laundry by::

How've you been?

2011-06-22T10:55:00.000-07:00

So...........

The last two weeks have been extremely stressful.

I found another lump. On the same side as the surgery. I'm not going to make you think something bad, so I'll tell you right away, it's fine! Just a cyst.........whew!

BUT, the last 2 weeks I've had the feeling of doom. I've had all thoughts of death and dying. I've been picturing in my head how it would be to tell the children. I've been picturing how it would be to be dying. To not have a future.

GAH!

It doesn't help that the anniversary of D's death is this week. Plus the fact that my fathers...plural...are both dying with different diseases. PLUS, my mother is in Florida right now with my Uncle who could be on his death bed.

ENOUGH of the dying already people! I've had enough. I'd like to NOT think of death and dying for awhile and just enjoy LIVING! Is that such a big thing to ask?

Anyway, other than the dying stuff, summer has been good so far.....but there hasn't been any spanking. Not that I've really been in the mood, with all my dark moods and everything, but still, a spanking could possibly, probably help shake those moods. I'm just saying.....

Well, today is a new day! I'm fine. Yesterday they took a look at the lump with a mammogram and ultrasound and declared it a cyst! YAY! This is reason enough to jump back into life and stop living the life of a dying woman. Sheez....am I dramatic enough for you??

So, that's what's happening around here. How've YOU been??

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spanking is as spanking does....

2011-06-02T10:09:00.000-07:00

There are many things happening all at once and so I know it's summer. Yesterday the little man turned 13! 13???? 13!!!!

He's a teenager now! What the heck? Where did the time go? ACK!

Anyway, so that is the first indication that summer is around the corner. The other is that tomorrow is the last day of babysitting! YAY me! Also, next week it the last day of school. Thursday the 9th, to be exact! I might have to do the happy dance. I know that by August I'll be doing the happy dance that school is back in, but for now I'm just happy it's over!

So, remember when I wrote that last post? You know, the one right before this one? The one where I said I hadn't been spanked and Bossman and I weren't very close? HA! I should write stuff like that more often because I wrote that on Friday morning and then Friday afternoon..........

Well, lets just say that Friday afternoon was both wonderful and terrible. It was one of those times that you play over and over again in your mind and you can't quite decide how terrible and how wonderful it was.

Details you ask? I know there is at least ONE of you that is a detail whore. Of course I'm thinking I could just leave you guessing for a while. That could be fun. (for me) Or I could just tell you what happened.

sigh~

Friday afternoon, Bossman had the afternoon off of work. After the baby leaves we have about 45 minutes before we have to pick up the little man from school. Bossman thought this was a great time for a spanking. I had my doubts. It had been a while since I had gotten a spanking and frankly we ALL know what it's like to get a spanking on a bottom that hasn't seen a spanking in a while.

I asked what this spanking was about and he said it was about a lot of things. It was about getting us closer together. It was about getting me to focus on him. On us, really. On things that were important, like our relationship. \

Focus he said? Oh there was focus alright.

He spanked with the wooden spatula thingie and he spanked HARD. As a matter of fact, I believe this was the worst spanking I had ever gotten.

Seriously!

OUCH!

It was long and it was hard and I....well I was LOUD!

Can I tell you something? A hard spanking like that can really put things into perspective. I wasn't in a great mood but after that spanking, my mood was much lighter. Things seemed better. (not for my bottom though)

There wasn't time for being intimate after that. So we went on with our day. Mine with a sore butt.

The next day left us with a couple of hours to our self.

By that time, I was quite ready for some lovin'

We got adventurous and tried some anal. After careful consideration, and with the knowledge that THINKING about it makes me hot, anal is not for us. It's just not comfortable and just doesn't feel that great.

With that said, we had an amazing time figuring that out.

After we had our fun, we needed a shower. Now, Bossman had taken care of me, but we didn't quite take care of him. So, in the shower, I decided to give the man is favorite thing. A bj.

I really got into it, I mean, he deserved it. It was the best bj ever! I'm not just saying that. Bossman said so!!!! I really did good!

So, I'm thinking the universe read my post on Friday and decided that it was unacceptable. Or maybe it's like that whole thing where they say if you visualize it it will happen.

Either way,
I ain't complainin'!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

blog, what blog?

2011-05-27T11:41:00.000-07:00

I am still here. I just couldn't get up enough mojo to look at my blog. Or your blog. Or any blog, for that matter.

Ok, I lied, I did read the food blogs. Believe it or not, I'm getting interested in cooking. I hate cooking. I do love looking at the cooking blogs though. Just dreaming about someone making those recipes for me gets me all hot.....

It seems that since I got the cancer diagnosis, I've been curled up in my shell. I haven't felt like going anywhere or doing anything. Home is safe. Bad things don't happen at home.

So, babysitting was perfect for me. I didn't have to leave the house and it gave me a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

But, it's been a year since I ended cancer treatment. I think it's time to get back into the world. I need to step out of my comfort zone and join the land of the living.

Next week will be the last week of babysitting. I haven't exactly decided what I'll be doing this summer but I did decide to join the gym. Just getting out of the house will be good for me. Plus, I could stand to lose a few pounds, or at least not add to the ones I already have!

I haven't had a spanking in a while... have you?

We seem to be at the place in our relationship where we aren't as close as we'd like. Spanking is talked about but we just don't have a quiet moment to ourselves to do it. Much less have sex. We try to squeeze sex in when we can, but it really isn't very often. That always makes Bossman cranky. Honestly it makes me cranky too.

My mind has been in a lot of different places lately. Last weekend was the 1st anniversary of the last time I saw D. I know the 27 of next month will be hard. That is when she passed. I miss her and think of her every day. I just blows me away that she's not here.

Speaking of passing, my stepfather is dying of cancer. I have mixed feelings about that man. He sexually abused me when I was 12. I feel like I'm over that. As much as a person can be. I don't like to use what happened to me a a child as a excuse for things that happen now. That was a very long time ago and I'm a grown-up now. I have forgiven him.

Here's the thing, he's the father of my brother. I can't wish ill on the man that is my brothers father. Without him, I wouldn't have my brother. I wouldn't trade my brother for anything in the world. Also, when I was really little, my mother was having a really hard time and was going to have to put me and my sister into foster care. My mother met my stepfather at a party, told him the situation and he stepped in and helped my mother. Who knows what would have happened if my mother had put us in foster care.

The point is, the man did a lot of good for our family. None of that excuses the abuse. It's just part of what happened.

So, mixed feelings. I'm not close with him now. I've only seen him a handful of times in 12 years. But my brother is hurting. My brother is the only family my stepfather has left. My mother divorced him 25 years ago.

Wow, I didn't mean to go into my life history. Guess I needed to get all that out.

Anyway, that's what's going on here. How have you been?

Written while ignoring laundry by::

15705 days old

2011-05-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

Hard to believe but here I am another year older.

That makes me:
43 years old
or
515 months old
or
2243 weeks old
or
15705 days old
or
376,920 hours old
or
22,615,200 minutes old
or
1,356,912,000 seconds old

After all those numbers, 43 doesn't sound so bad after all!

Everyone eat cake for me today!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

any thoughts?

2011-04-26T12:33:00.000-07:00

Last week was great. I really can't wait for summer! It was so nice to sleep in and not have to worry about watching little ones. It was also great to be able to leave the house and not be tied down with a little one.

Still not much to report on the spanking front. Bossman has been talking about it a lot. Of course, we've had the little man home all week, so that put a damper on the spanking. Also, he mentioned that he hates thinking that every time we are alone he has to spank me.

I can understand that. Since we found out the little man can hear everything going on in our room, we are afraid to try anything, including spanking.

How do you all combat that? Anybody have any good ideas? We are also thinking of some other forms of discipline. Nothing drastic, but something that could motivate me to get things done and not laze around on the computer all day. Any thoughts on that?

Do you use any other forms of discipline? How do you maintain a spanking relationship with children around?

I could really use some ideas!

Thanks!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

I think I'll watch that

2011-04-20T20:43:00.000-07:00

Bossman and I were looking over the TV schedule when we came across this:

I'd like to watch the one in the middle please.......

Written while ignoring laundry by::

mumblings...

2011-04-14T10:32:00.000-07:00

I have no title. I really have nothing to write about.

Yesterday I went to my nephews t-ball game. It was super cold, I think my butt froze off. Metal bleachers, not good. Then we went to dinner with my brother. I don't hang with my brother very often and the funny thing is, he lives right around the corner. But we each have busy lives and so we just don't get to hang much. Last nights dinner was nice. We talked and laughed and had a good time.

Spanking? What is that? I haven't had one since the last one I wrote about. I guess that means I've been a good girl...LOL or that means Bossman has been busy. Either way, it makes me cranky.

Why should it make me cranky to not have a spanking? Most "normal" people would think it would make a person cranky to get a spanking. So why am I so cranky to not have one?

Bossman and I have been talking lately about stuff. This may surprise you but Bossman and I don't have a lot in common. We don't like the same kind of music. I like to read, he doesn't. He likes to watch sports, I don't. He likes racecars and like to go racing, I find it a complete waste of time and money. Heck, we don't even like watching the same tv shows. (Well, there are a couple we can agree on.)

It's amazing that the two of us have stayed married this long. I often wonder what makes him stay with me. I used to think it was just the kids. But I've come to realize that he does love me. Thank goodness for that.

Well, what's going on with you?

Written while ignoring laundry by::

I'm still alive and there was a spanking

2011-04-06T11:11:00.000-07:00

I'm still alive and I still have a cough so really I'm only half alive because JEEZ I'm sick of coughing.

How was that for a run-on sentence?

So, how's life? Mines good. I'm frustrated with the girl I babysit for. She is annoying the bejeesus out of me. She tells me a couple of weeks ago that I wouldn't have to babysit this week because her hubby would be off work. GREAT! I was so excited to have a week to myself. THEN, on Thursday of last week I confirmed that this was the week and she was like...OH, I need to you watch her because hubby will be staying home to clean out the garage.

Clean out the garage????

GAH!

I was so pissed. But damn-it, I'm too nice. I can't say no. I hate that about myself. Why can't I be more mean?

Well, all is not lost, in 2 weeks the mother will have spring break and I have told her I will NOT babysit that week.

Also, I've decided I'm not going to babysit anymore. I'll finish out the school year and then I'm done. I haven't told the mommy yet, but I will. I've considered telling her I could do it part time, like 2 or 3 times a week, but I will not do it everyday. I'm sick of sitting around the house everyday. I need to get out and do something useful. I haven't decided what that will be, but I have a lot of time to think about it. So, I'm definitely looking forward to summer.

Of course, summer will probably put a damper on the spanking, but there isn't much I can do about that situation, unless I ship the boy off to summer camp. Which....now that I think about it....that is a GREAT idea!

Speaking of spanking.....

I got a doozy on Friday. Here's the back story. The last couple of weeks I have either been hurting with the neck, or I've been sick with the cough. So, Bossman didn't really get on me for the rules. Friday, I was feeling better. Before we got out of bed, I woke up crabby, we had a bit of a argument. Bossman got pissed and left for work.

Bossman showed up at home right before the little one was heading home. I asked what he was doing home so early and he said he was here to spank me. HUH! I wasn't really expecting THAT!

After the little one left, he took me into the bedroom and started lecturing. He was upset that I hadn't done much that day and he was really upset with how I had treated him in the morning. He brought out the wooden spoon and went to town on my butt. He lectured as he went and WOW, it hurt.

The great thing about it was things were better after we were done. I was in a better mood, he was in a better mood and we just carried on. He left me home to do my chores while he went to pick up the little man from school so I had time to think by myself.

Really I just thought how lucky I am!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

sick, sick and more sick

2011-03-31T10:03:00.000-07:00

I'd been writing every weekday for about 2 or 3 weeks. Then on Monday I got sick and today is the first day I'm feeling better. So I missed 3 days of posting. I was a little bit sad because I was so proud that I had written every day.

Oh well, I guess I'll just have to start over.

Today I'm babysitting and the little girl I watch loves playing with baby dolls. She's only 2 but she had such a grasp of what is going on around her. She doesn't miss a thing. So, imagine my surprise when I sit back to watch her playing with her dolls and she puts one over her lap and gives it a good spanking.

I know her parents spank the older daughter. The mother once asked me my feelings on spanking.

So, I am now wondering if the daddy spanks the mommy.

Very interesting.

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Friday fill-ins and delicious results

2011-03-25T11:22:00.000-07:00

The crock pot dinner was a success! Bossman really liked it. It wasn't spicy at all, it was tangy and it made a really nice sandwich with the cheese and french rolls.

Friday fill-ins:

1. Why does it rain all the time?

2. A backscratcher spanking is equal to a very sore butt.

3. My favorite breakfast includes orange juice and blueberry pancakes.

4. The Fiery Cross was the last book I read, it's the forth book in the Outlander series.

5. I am SO glad I had a clear mammogram.

6. A spanking and some cheesecake would make me feel better right now.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hanging out with my boys , tomorrow my plans include church and bible study and movie night and Sunday, I want to tackle some of the projects around the house!

Have a great weekend everybody!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

results

2011-03-24T16:24:00.000-07:00

Um, I ended up not making the crock pot recipe yesterday as Bossman called soon after I posted and right before I was going to start and said we were going out to eat. YAY me. Today it is in the crock pot and it's smelling really good.

Thank you all for the crock pot blog. I haven't been to the site yet but I think that is where the recipe orginated. Since I've become the crock pot queen, I'll be checking out that site!

Daisy~ You are right....I hate doing anything domestic. Sucks for me, since I'm a housewife...LOL I have decided to look for something around this house that I DO like doing and I came up with the following:

Watching TV
Surfing the net
playing on Facebook
reading
petting the cat
talking on the phone
snuggling with my husband
spankings
shopping (as long as it's not for groceries)
sleeping

That's it. See I'm a busy girl doing all these things. Doesn't leave much time for laundry and cooking.....

Now, don't you feel sorry for me?

Written while ignoring laundry by::

crock pot

2011-03-23T11:37:00.000-07:00

I hate cooking. I really am not good at it so I fix very easy things for dinner. Tacos, sloppy joes, frozen raviolis, spaghetti....I think you get the picture.

I decided to get a crock pot and WOW! I love it. It's so easy and the food always comes out great. It makes me feel like a real cook even though I didn't do anything but throw some stuff in it and let it cook.

So, I found a recipe online for the crock pot that I'm going to try today.

Here's the ingredients:

Seriously, this has got to be the easiest recipe ever! You just throw it all in the crock pot, let it cook for 8 hours and wa-la...dinner!

They suggest shredding the meat when finished and serving it on bread with some cheese. I'm going to serve it on a toasted french roll with some mozzarella cheese on the top.

What's for dinner at YOUR house???

Written while ignoring laundry by::

gratituesday

2011-03-22T10:48:00.000-07:00

Today I'm am grateful for Tylenol PM. Sleep is a wonderful thing.

Bossman, as always

Healthy family

the internet

Dancing with the Stars

spankings

What are you grateful for?

Written while ignoring laundry by::

wet weekend

2011-03-21T11:47:00.000-07:00

I know that I mentioned that I have a bad neck.

When I say bad neck...I really mean it. I had an MRI in June and it showed bulging disks, bone spurs, degenerating bones....all kinds of fun things going on in there.

Turns out, I've had mysterious pain for years and never knew that it was my neck. When it acts up, it hurts up and down my shoulder and into my chest. I used to think it was my heart, but the pain would shift from one side of my body to the other, so we ruled the heart out. It wasn't until the MRI that we (the docs) finally figured it out.

The point is, this weekend my neck was giving me trouble. When it does, it is really bad. It's not comfortable to sit, to lay down, walk. It's pretty much just pain. And there isn't any pain meds that will work. I've tried them all.

So this weekend was spent trying not to move too much. Which turned out to be a good weekend for that because it's been raining like CRAZY around here and it's not suppose to let up until next week.

Bad neck or not, I didn't let an evening alone with Bossman stop us from having some fun in bed. Both the kids were gone Saturday night and so we did have a nice time together. No spanking though. But Bossman says I'm due for one this week, so we'll see when that happens.

I'm hiding all the backscratchers, just in case! And I BETTER not get one in the mail.

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Friday fill-ins

2011-03-18T10:22:00.000-07:00

1. I love to go to beach because it helps put life in perspective.

2. It doesn't matter how many swats it’s the quality!

3. The last thing I had to eat was cinnamon life cereal.

4.Spanking with the backscratcher is no longer essential.

5. Please take a moment to kiss your family.

6. Determination and guts have brought you this far.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to quiet time with Bossman, tomorrow my plans include church and bible study and Sunday, I want to SLEEP!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

nothing new

2011-03-17T13:18:00.000-07:00

I really don't have much to say today. My neck is hurting and so I'm not feeling very well. I'm babysitting all day, first my little girl that comes everyday and then my nephew, who's coming over while his dad goes to the doctor.

Toddlers, toddlers everywhere and none of them are mine!

Thank goodness!

I'm ready for Friday....how about you?

Written while ignoring laundry by::

No sympathy!

2011-03-16T11:25:00.000-07:00

I can see that there isn't much sympathy for me and my TWO rules.

~sigh~

Didn't you know I was a princess? I'm suppose to have servants to do all the manual labor. I'm suppose to be able to sit around and eat bon-bons and watch soap operas on TV. I should NOT have to do the laundry and pick up dog hair! I also wash the dishes....and that's not even a RULE! Of course I have a dish washer...but still, rinsing dishes and putting them in the washer? It's hard work I tell ya!

It's just not fair.....nope, not fair at all.

In other news, I don't have to babysit on Friday. That could mean some time with Bossman without Aunt Flo getting in the way. We'll have to see how that works out. I've learned never to get my hopes up until it actually happens...

Guess I should get that laundry done. Has anyone invented disposible clothes yet? That could really be a good idea!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

spanked

2011-03-15T11:33:00.000-07:00

I don't want you to think the weekend was a bust. We had a great time together. We took a drive to some old places that we used to live when the wildchild was a baby. It was a beautiful day and we had fun just being together.

I don't know why but we don't usually spank in hotel rooms. This weekend was no exception. Not sure why, but it just didn't happen. Bossman had packed the cuffs and blindfold as a surprise to me and they would have been fun, but unfortunately, I just couldn't get in the mood for it. That usually happens when I'm on my period, so it's not a surprise. There was a hot tub in the room which we used. That was nice and romantic. We talked about life. We talked about how far we've come in life. It's amazing how life is now.

Yesterday Bossman came home to give me a spanking. I've already broken the rule. Geez, I only have ONE rule, you'd think it wouldn't be that hard to keep. Friday was just so busy that I didn't do the laundry.

Ok, I admit....I didn't really think he'd notice. We were leaving that evening, so I didn't really think he'd care if the laundry load wasn't done. But he did notice and he did follow through. I can hardly believe it.

So he came home yesterday and spanked me hard with his hand. It hurt, but it wasn't too bad. Then he had the nerve to give me another rule. Now he wants to me make sure vacuum the dog hair once a week.

Geez, what a slave driver!!!! I don't know if I can handle it, the laundry and vacuuming? What is this world coming too? Maybe it would be easier if I just went out and got a job?

NAH!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

list

2011-03-14T09:53:00.000-07:00

new lube...............check
wrist cuffs..............check
wooden hair brush........check
blindfold..................check
champagne..........check
sexy nightie...........check
candles...............check

Things we used this weekend:
champagne

~sigh~

Well, we had good intentions and we DID have a nice time but....we just couldn't do all the things we would have liked to do because well, you know, stupid period!

We did have some romantic time. We also spent quite a bit of time just laying in bed touching each other. It wasn't exactly what either of us had in mind but that's life. After 22 years, we know that even the best laid plans can fall apart.

So, how was YOUR weekend?

Written while ignoring laundry by::

March 12, 1989

2011-03-11T10:44:00.000-08:00

Warning, cheesy post alert!

Dear Bossman,

I can't believe that I was blessed with you. I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you. Actually, I didn't do anything and I don't deserve you. I can't believe 22 years have gone by already.

Do you realize we have a adult daughter? I KNOW....how did THAT happen? We've been through a lot and last year was the worst. I don't know how I would have done it without you. You have been my rock and my support.

Thank you for always being here for me. I love you now more than ever!

Happy Anniversary!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Bad luck!

2011-03-10T12:58:00.000-08:00

Warning: If you are a man and don't want to hear about my period....you might want to skip this post.

Wouldn't you know that the day before we are suppose to celebrate our anniversary in a hotel room....I start my period!

~sigh~

Since I started taking medication to keep the hormones away from the girls, my period has be sketchy. I've been as regular as a girl can be my whole life and NOW.....now I never know when or if I'll get a period.

I've been getting one, but they are usually every 6 weeks or so now. Which, by the way, freaks the HELL out of me! I keep thinking I'm preggers...GAH! But I didn't get one in January, at all. Then I got one in Feb. I thought it would be awhile for the next one to hit but NO...it's right-on-time! Stupid period!

I guess we can still try the anal. I'm hoping this will be the month that my period is really short and will be over in a day. HA!

A girl can hope, right?

Written while ignoring laundry by::

tushy tamer

2011-03-09T11:21:00.000-08:00

The closet is finished! Other than a mirror that needs to be hung up the closet is done and so that means I found the lube!

The lube was called...Tushy Tamer.

I LOVE that name....LOL But we didn't really like the lube itself.

See, I never really read the tube. Bossman bought it. It was in the bag when we got home and then we used it the same day but I never looked at it.

Here's the product description straight from Amazon.....

Product Description

Ease into comfort with this incredible anal desensitizing cream. Perfect for beginners to anal play, this specially formulated lotion gently numbs and desensitizes the rectal area, making the experience more comfortable and enjoyable for both partners.

I didn't know tht it was a desensitizing cream. It didn't seem to desensitize anything!!!!!!! Well, since I'm not that familiar with anal maybe it DID desensitize and I just didn't know it. GAH!

Also, Bossman didn't think it was slippery enough. So I wouldn't recommend the tushy tamer.

I'm just sayin'.....

I think I'll try some of the other lubes that have been recommended. The tushy tamer did not tame my tushy, at all!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

2nd post this week

2011-03-08T11:38:00.000-08:00

So, yesterday concluded the week long spanking experiment. I know, it wasn't exactly a week, due to the day we missed and the weekend, but Bossman wanted to see it through. Today my son has a half day of school, so there won't be a spanking today anyway.

Yesterdays spanking was OUCHY! He used the wooden spoon that PK gave us. Wow, very stingy. While spanking he told me he wanted to start off with one thing that he wanted me to do everyday. Of course this involved laundry! If you've been reading here for any length of time, you will know how much I hate laundry. So, he just wants me to keep the hamper empty. We just redid our closet and it looks so nice he doesn't want laundry to mess things up.

Well, I thought this was just too much! Of course I had to be practical and try and tell him how that wasn't going to work out.

A word of advice......don't back talk someone holding a wooden spoon..

He had already finished the spanking. My pants were already back in their place. But he decided that I was being to mouthy and pulled me straight back over his knee for a dose of the backscratcher! OUCH!

Here's the thing. I totally see his point. Whenever he says something, I ALWAYS have a counter point. I can never just go with what he says. I always have to have the last word.

So, I'm working on that. And meanwhile, my butt is very sore today!

I think I mentioned a hotel this weekend.....well, it's a go! I better get some K-Y before the weekend!!!

See ya tomorrow!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

spanked daily

2011-03-07T11:10:00.000-08:00

I haven't been ignoring you all, I promise! I've just been extremely busy!

Let's just get right to the subject. Was I spanked everyday last week?

Believe it or not.....almost!

Bossman came home every day and spanked me. Every day except Thursday. He came home, but we had some errands to run and by the time we got back we didn't have time. Which was quite all right with me because....OMG, you guys.....those spankings hurt! By the end of the week my butt was really sore.

Bossman said maybe I should post a picture everyday of the implement that he used.

Now that we've made it a week, he's said that was just an introductory week, getting my butt used to being spanked. He said now we would just spank on a need-to-spank schedule. Meaning, if he thinks I need it....he'll do it.

As for the anal, we haven't tried it again. But, we've talked about it. We are thinking of spending the weekend in a hotel room for our anniversary....so I'm guessing we may try anal again! I hope so.

I do have a question, and if you've already told me this in a comment, I'm sorry, I'm just to lazy to go back and see what you said.....the question is...

What kind of lube is the best for anal?

I'd tell you the kind we used, but I can't find it at the moment. I know what you're thinking....How do you lose your lube? Well, we are in the process of redoing our walk-in-closet and everything is scattered everywhere throughout the house. Don't worry...we didn't leave the lube out to tramatize the little man further....but Bossman put the lube somewhere safe and I forgot to ask him where he put it. So, once I find it again, I'll tell you what kind it was. Frankly, I don't think it was that good. I don't think it was slippery enough.

That's what's going on here. I really need to get better at posting more often. I think I'll try posting everyday this week. Can I possibly think of something to write about every day? If I'm getting spanked, the answer is YES!

So, how was YOUR weekend?

Written while ignoring laundry by::

anal angst

2011-02-28T13:43:00.000-08:00

There hasn't been much action around here lately. We've been waiting for the dust to settle before trying anything when there are kids home.

Yesterday, the kids weren't home!!!!! The wildchild took the little man to Disneyland. (I really should stop calling them those names as they don't really fit anymore. The wildchild isn't quite as wild and the little man...well he's not so little any more.)

Anyway, the kids weren't home the entire day! WHOO HOO! Since they left at 5 in the morning, I bet you can guess what we did as soon as they left!

We went back to sleep...

But when we woke up.....we made up for lost time and got right to business.

After a nice round of sex, we headed out the door for some breakfast. I love going out for breakfast. How do those resturants get the pancakes so perfect?

After breakfast we went shopping. We bought dressers, we bought new sheets for our bed. (king size sheets for 9.99 a SET? That was a deal!) We bought a new body pillow and some shirts and jackets for Bossman and odds and ends that I found on sale at Target. We hit the mall, target, wally world, tj maxx and then I was POOPED!

After spending all our money, we headed home to watch the nascar race. Bossman's favorite driver won!!! I will admit that I didn't watch it that much. In between reading and watching the race, I decided to color my hair. I'm normally a blond, but I went a little dark. Carmel brown to be exact. I thought I liked it, but my daughter didn't say anything about it...so I wondered what was up with that because she's the first to mention my hair....when I mentioned it...she said she thought it was just oily and dirty. Not exactly the response I was hoping for....

Bossman assures me that the wildchild was just tired and my hair looks really nice.

Anyway, after I dyed my hair, I entered the living room in just my robe. I wanted to show Bossman my hair but I had things under my robe I wanted to show him too!

Well, I showed him. Actually, he showed me. He showed me straight to the bedroom where, would you believe, he had the gall to bring out the hairbrush and NO, it wasn't for brushing my hair! During the spanking he got it in his head that I needed more spankings. I don't know where he gets these ideas! I am always such a perfect angel that this notion of needing more spankings was shocking! But he said he wasn't happy with my performance around the house. He feels I waste a lot of time on the computer. Again...I have NO idea where he comes up with this stuff. So, he said he's coming home everyday before the little man gets out of school to spank me. That's right...he's coming home everyday to spank me. I asked about work and he said he's just going to have to put me and my butt into his schedule if he wants things done better around here.

After the spanking things got better. We decided it was the perfect oportunity to try anal. While at the mall, earlier in the day, we had bought some lube. From the mall. I know, that sounds weird, but we have a store in our mall called Spencers and they have all kinds of sexy stuff. I had never been in there and I was APPALLED that there were small children in there. Some with parents! I'm telling you, this is not a store for young kids. I heard one boy tell another...."Oh, you should get that shirt". The shirt said, I love my mom but she's a bitch. GAH! I'm sorry if this makes me a prude, but I was very uncomfortable in that store already and then to have little kids in there....well it was too much for me. Bossman made the purchase though....

Anyway, back to the anal. Bossman decided that since I was already over his knee, why not try the new lube with his finger. I was a nervous wreck, but thanks to all of you and your advice, I tried to stay really relaxed. I must say, the finger was nice. It felt really good.

We did that for awhile and then we decided to try the real thing...if you know what I mean.

The real thing? Not so fun. I mean, it was kind of fun, but it was really uncomfortable. Bossman was very slow and gentle and I tried to relax and we managed for a little bit, but I finally gave up.

I'm not giving up on anal, but I just need to get used to it. I told Bossman that I wasn't going to give up and I hoped that we would try again and he was happy about that.

So that was it for the first time. I think it went ok.

Now I better get moving, I have an appointment with Bossman and I want to make the house look nice so he goes easy on me......

Written while ignoring laundry by::

caught again!

2011-02-17T10:53:00.000-08:00

You must think Bossman and I have sex all the time!

We don't.

But the little man thinks we do.

Saturday morning, ( a week after the first incident) Bossman and I woke up early. We laid in bed talking and snuggling and all the stuff that couples do in bed. We were VERY worried about the little man hearing us, so we didn't go to far.

Well, we weren't planning on going to far.

But then we started touching and stuff.

We were so quiet.....and we only tried it for a few seconds before we realized that it wasn't really going to work, so we stopped.

Then we got up to start the day.

The little man was in a bad mood and finally spilled the beans and said he heard us....AGAIN!

Now, honestly, I don't see how he heard anything. Frankly, when we were actually "doing it" we were super quiet. Also, we didn't do it for very long because we didn't want to be heard. So, I THINK he just heard us talking and giggling and stuff.

He was quite mad! He says he KNOWS exactly what was going on.

Now seriously, unless he had a glass to the wall, I can't believe he heard.

Anyway, I thinking of joining a monestary now.

This is a big problem. NOW, I want sex! Before, it didn't really matter. I mean, of course in mattered but in the grand scheme of things, I could wait and not worry about it. NOW? Now I want it! It's the ole' problem of not wanting something until someone says you can't have it.

GAH!

What the heck are we suppose to do? The boy apparently has bionic ears and can hear things behind closed doors and walls. Super human hearing!

Here's my ideas for solving this problem, if you have others, please share them with me.

1. Kick the boy out.
I know that seems extreme but.....

2. Move the boy to a different bedroom.
Could be a possibility except....we just painted and decorated his whole room.

3. Play loud music while making love.

4. Only have sex when he's not home.

5. Practice abstinence.

~sigh~

And I really, really wanted to try out the anal stuff!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry......

2011-02-09T12:24:00.000-08:00

How rude of me to ask you all your opinions and then ignore you for a week or two.

I should be spanked!

Anyway, thanks so much for all the comments. Bossman and I have been reading them with interest. Unfortunately, there hasn't been any time to try out your suggestions. As a matter of fact, there hasn't even been time for spankings.

Also, I think Bossman and I are probably going to win the worst parents in the world award this year.

Here's what happened.

Friday evening, we were getting ready for a yard sale. Going through closests and cabinets and pricing things. (We made over 300 on our junk...yay us!)

Bossman and I went into the bedroom and it was cold. We were also tired. So we laid in bed under the blankets snuggling. We thought the little man was busy playing his video games.

Well, as with a lot of couples laying in bed snuggling, on thing led to another and well, you know.....things just happened.

I thought we were quiet and fast. So when we were done we came out into the living room. The little man looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "I heard what you guys were doing and I don't want to hang out with you guys anymore."

He was VERY upset.

Bossman and I just looked at each other. I think Bossman was very embarrassed because he didn't say anything. NOTHING.

He just walked away.

Now, the little man didn't want to talk. He went into his room and refused to speak to me.

This is what I told him.

A. We didn't do anything wrong.
B. We are very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very sorry.
C. We will NEVER, ever, do that again.

Then I left him to his thoughts and went back to the garage stuff.

After a cooling off time, (10 minutes) he forgave us and moved on.

Bossman said, NOTHING!

I don't know how else we could have handled things, but I do know one thing for sure....

I'm rearranging the furniture in my room so it's not against the living room wall.

~sigh~

Written while ignoring laundry by::

anal anyone?

2011-01-24T11:12:00.000-08:00

Bossman and I have been discussing anal sex. (how's that for an opening sentence?)

So, we have tried anal before, but it was a long time ago and it didn't go very well.

I need some advice. How should we go about trying it again? How do we ease into the situation, so to speak?

I'll admit, I've always been fascinated by anal. It seems to turn me on quite nicely when I'm reading about it. But it seems that when we try it, it's not so fun. Funny how the mind works like that. Nothing is ever the same in real life, is it?

Bossman really seems like he's interested in trying it, and I'm curious. So, I'm game to try it. But I'd really like to know how to start.

So come on Internet....help a gal out. Tell me the best way to begin this journey.

And to all you MEN out there....Please tell me what you get out of spanking your woman. This seems to be a theme surrounding spankings around my house. Bossman will mention, after a spanking, so what will I get out of this one? It's all in jest, but seriously...

So....let's just recap my questions.

1. How should we go about trying anal?
2. MEN...what do YOU get out of spanking??

I can't wait to read the comments on this one!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Painting

2011-01-20T14:18:00.000-08:00

I spent the weekend painting my son's bedroom. If you all remember, we moved into this house about a year and a half ago.

We had huge plans for this house. I mean, it's the first time we've been able to paint anything whatever color we want.

So we promised big. We were going to paint all the rooms and it was going to be great.

HA!

We had good intentions, but as with most things, we put it off and put it off. Oh, we painted the master bedroom and we painted the bathroom and then, well....

Can I use the cancer card here?

Ok, well, I'd like to use the cancer card because it sounds better than I was lazy.

But really, I was lazy!

Besides, I hate painting! It's so messy. It's so time consuming. It's just NOT fun.

Wait....the paint stirrers are fun. If your not stirring paint. If you use them for other things. That's really the only fun thing I can think of about painting.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, we painted the little mans room this weekend. It was time. I mean this house is covered in peach paint. PEACH people. It's just too much! Besides, what boy wants peach walls?

The room looks fantastic and we went a little overboard on stuff. We decided if we were painting he should have a new comforter. Since we were getting a new comforter, new sheets seemed to be needed also.

After all that paint, it was decided that the room needed new lamps.

Last but not least, we bought the boy a new TV.

Like I said, WAY too much stuff was bought!

Oh well, my son is very happy and the room looks GREAT!

So, that's what I did last weekend.....

What did you do?

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Spanking question.......

2011-01-13T11:51:00.000-08:00

Saturday is the one year anniversary of the day I found out I had cancer. Stupid 2010! Not my favorite year.

Anyway, I was going to write up a big post about the year. I was going to tell you all about how I went 55 doctor appointments in the year of 2010. I was going to tell about D's death.

But I've already written about all those things and I'm done. I am in the mood to celebrate that I had a mammogram the other day and it was CLEAN! According to the letter I received in the mail, my mammogram was clean of all cancer.

YAY me!

Now, let's move on...shall we?

Let's talk about the real reason we are all here.

We want to talk about spanking.

Am I right?

Yesterday was a beautiful day in the neighborhood. After I put my complaint in the complaint box things warmed up. It was in the 60's and wonderful. Bossman took the afternoon off, so we had some time to ourselves.

Yes, there was a spanking involved.
This is what he used!

For those of you that don't remember, back in 2008 I went to LA and met up with some dear internet friends. One of them kindly gave these "flyswatters" as gifts. In the picture, the handle is covered only because we all signed the handles...with our real names.

As I said in an earlier post, all of our spanking toys HURT! This one is no exception. I'm not sure why but the leather really stings. The softness fools you into thinking it won't hurt too much! HA! Fooled me it did!

So, Bossman has made it clear that we are going to be doing a lot more spanking this year. I don't know if this will really happen, but I'm hoping it does.

Or rather, I'm hoping it doesn't???

No, no, I hope it does! I think!

Anyway.....

Bossman asked me what HE gets out of all this spanking.

Good question! I'm thinking he gets a happier wife. Everyone knows if the wife is happy, the whole family is happy...right? But really, what DOES a spanker get out of spanking his wife? What are the benefits to the whole spanking operation?

I mean, let's face it, the spankers have to do most of the work. (As Bossman pointed out)
They have to make the time to spank. They have to pick the implement. They have to pull down the panties, (that's a tough one, I'm sure) They have to actually spank the bottom. They have to decide how much is needed. They have to decide if one should stand at the wall for awhile or if the spanking is over.

All the spankee has to do is get spanked. Maybe stand for a few minutes at the wall, but usually we just lay over the lap and get spanked.

So I ask all you spankers out there...

What do you get out of spanking your partner?

Written while ignoring laundry by::

hairbrushes hurt

2011-01-11T16:20:00.000-08:00

Bossman came home for lunch today and gave me a spanking with the hairbrush.

Um......

OW!

I'm beginning to realize that ALL our spanking toys hurt! Seriously.

Anyway, there was no time for any of the fun stuff, but I'm thinking of making some time for that tonight.
My sister gave me a bunch of candles for Christmas and I'm thinking of putting those to use in the bedroom tonight.

The man did earn some lovin'. I mean, my butt.......it's been 3 hours and it's still nice and toasty. Which is a good thing because it's cold here.

Speaking of cold....why is this winter so freakin' cold? I pay big bucks to live in a place where it's suppose to be warm year around. I am not getting my money's worth. I'm thinking of complaining. Is there a complaint box somewhere? Maybe I should check the state line. Surely there's one there.

Ok, now I'm just being silly. I guess I should wrap this up.

How's it going with all of you? Did you have a good holiday? Did you get a good spanking? Or maybe a good spanking toy?

Please tell me......I'm bored!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Friday Fill-ins, the New Year addition

2011-01-07T13:42:00.000-08:00

1. It's 2011; I am so glad 2010 is over.

2. I love pickles.

3. Thankfully I have my health back.

4. Kisses and hugs are the best things in life.

5. I am so grateful to all my internet friends for hanging around and reading this blog.

6. Super bowl Sunday will be fun.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to eating dinner, tomorrow my plans include church and maybe a hike and Sunday, I want to clean up the backyard!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

a brand "spanking" New Year

2011-01-03T11:11:00.000-08:00

I've had this blog for a very, very long time. Seems like forever. Never once, in all the time I've had this blog, have I had to actually come and write.

What I mean to say is.....nobody ever MADE me come here. I always came on my own accord. There has never been any pressure (other than from certain friends) to come and write. So I just come and write whenever I want.

Not today people.

Today I am here because I was told to come. I'd say forced to come, but forced seems so harsh. Yes, I am here today because.....

Bossman told me to.

Let me just recap the New Years weekend for you.

It was a quiet affair, not much to speak of. We all just sort of hung out together. It was nice. It was nice until on New Years day the kids decided to take the dog for a walk.

Bossman decided this was the perfect time for a spanking.

As he spanked (with the BS) he told me that this was his New Years resolution.

Spank more.

Yikes!

He said more, but the jist of it is, he wants me to take better care of the house and me and he says he will spank more when there are not kids about.

YIKES!

The thought of more spankings terrifies me and excites me at the same time.

Does that make sense? No, not to me either.

By the way, I hate the BS. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Anyway, Sunday evening the kids decided to go to the movies. Football was on, so I was pretty sure that left me with alone with the computer. (Have I mentioned my new favorite game on facebook is Zuma???)

I forgot about halftime.

Halftime arrived and with it came Bossman. With the BS, I might add.

By the way, I hate the BS! Have I mentioned that?

He led me to the living room and placed me and my bare bottom over the ottoman. He proceeded to spank my poor defenseless buttockal area.

After he/I had had enough, he told me that I was to make sure and write about this in my blog. Actually, he said I had to write about both spankings and he would read it tonight......

So, here I am, writing about my spankings.

Did I mention I hate the BS? Because if I didn't, let me make this perfectly clear.

I HATE the BACKSCRATCHER!

But, I do LOVE that Bossman!

Hi Honey...I really, really love you and I will be ever so good from now on! I promise! Now is there any way we can get rid of the BS? Thanks so much! Yours forever,

Written while ignoring laundry by::

The year in review

2010-12-31T12:38:00.000-08:00

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?  Went to Hawaii....that was fun

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't do resolutions because I would just break them and then feel bad. I just try to start with a clean slate and hope I can improve myself.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope

4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes, D (Bossman's 36 year old sister) died on June 27th and we miss her so much!

5. What countries did you visit? America

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010? To be healthier

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Jan 15, the day I found out I had cancer and June 27, the day D passed away

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? surviving cancer

9. What was your biggest failure? Not sticking to a budget

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Um, does breast cancer count?

11. What was the best thing you bought? I don't really know for sure. I guess I'll say my kindle.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Bossman. I couldn't have survived this year without him. He's been my rock!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My sister-in-law, M. Tried to kill herself

14. Where did most of your money go? mortgage

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Christmas

16. What song will always remind you of 2010? Live like you were dying by Tim Mcgraw.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? Sadder because D is not with us, but happier because she taught be to live life to the fullest and not be sad.
b) thinner or fatter? same
c) richer or poorer? same

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Laugh

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? worrying about family drama

20. How did you spend Christmas? Christmas eve with my family, Christmas day with the kids and ice skating.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010? Every year I fall in love with Bossman a little bit more.

22. What was your favorite TV program? I admit, I'm a TV junkie! I love Grey's, Private Practice, Parenthood. I also love Amazing Race, Survivor. There are others, but I don't want you all to think all I do is watch TV.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No hate in this house.

24. What was the best book you read? "The Art of Racing in the Rain". It's by Garth Stein. It's written by the dogs point of view. Great book.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Wow, that's a tough one. I just love music!

26. What did you want and get? I wanted to survive cancer...and I did.

27. What did you want and not get? I wanted D to live.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? Harry Potter

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 42 and I was in the middle of radiation treatments. We went to dinner and had cake and it was nice.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Hmmmm, I don't know how to answer that.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?  Jeans and tee's. Not very fashionable, I'm afraid.

32. What kept you sane? Bossman

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?   The guy on the Old Spice commercial. I just LOVE that guy.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Health care.

35. Who did you miss? My sis-in-law D.

36. Who was the best new person you met? I met some of D's in-laws at her funeral and I was touched by everything they did for her.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010. Life is short. Too short. We should live, laugh and love as much as possible. Tell the people you love that you love them for you never know when it's the end.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. "Livin on a prayer" by Bon Jovi. I feel like this whole year has been one big prayer.

I hope you all have a wonderful New Year! Thank you all for reading my blog and being my friends. Whether I know you in "real" life or whether I just know you from this blog, my life has been richer for knowing each and every one of you!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Christmas

2010-12-21T12:07:00.000-08:00

Feeling much better, thank you very much! But...I gave it to the kids. Bossman didn't get it. I'm thinking it's because he's the only one in the house that got a flu shot. I meant to get one...really, I did! But procrastination is one of my strong suits....so of course I never got one.

Since it's almost Christmas, I thought I'd do a Christmas meme. I hope you all have a very merry Christmas. Enjoy your families and friends....eat too much....and love a lot!

1.Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate....with marshmallows and whipped cream!

2.Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Oh the Santa presents have to be wrapped!!

3.Colored lights on tree/house or white? White and colored. Our house is a little Griswoldish...we have lots of lights...colored on the roof, white icicles. Santa and snowman in the yard with some reindeer. Colored lights on our tree, but white lights around my mangers scenes...I have 12 of them.

4.Do you hang mistletoe? no

5.When do you put your decorations up? The goal is the first weekend of December.

6.What is your favorite holiday dish? Yams with marshmallows and brown sugar...YUM

7.Favorite Holiday memory as a child? coming home from church on Christmas eve and all the presents are under the tree and there is a note from Santa. He left the window open because we didn't have a chimney. I was worried that year about whether he would come if we didn't have a chimney.

8.When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? What truth? I still believe!

9.Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We have my family over on Christmas eve and we open all the gifts and then in the morning we open the gifts from Santa.

10.How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Every year we buy an ornament with the year on it. We also have tons of ornaments from the kids. Home made ones are the best!

11.Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it! But it doesn't snow here. :(

12.Can you ice skate? I think so, but it's been awhile!

13.Do you remember your favorite gift? The Barbie Dream house!

14.What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Being with family.

15.What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Pumpkin pie and sugar cookies

16.What tops your tree? An angel

17.Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Giving, without question.

18.What is your favorite Christmas Song? I love them all and I'm known for spontaneously dancing in the kitchen.

19.Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum? I can take them or leave them.

20. Favorite Christmas Show? Charlie Brown Christmas.

21.Saddest Christmas Song? Grandma got run over by a reindeer. Now that song is SAD! LOL

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Thankful

2010-12-14T14:54:00.000-08:00

Things I'm thankful for today:

Tissue
Health insurance
laptop
netflix
old Christmas movies
advil

Most importantly I'm thankful for Bossman. He has been a complete angel. He's slept on the couch with me at 5 in the morning, he's gotten all my medicines and made sure I take them. He's run all my errands, cooked all the meals and done dishes and laundry.

Well that's all I've got for today...I think I need a nap!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Monday fill in.....the very sick addition

2010-12-13T16:56:00.000-08:00

Not really a Monday fill in but boy am I sick!

I just came from the doc and it seems that I have 2 ear infections, a sinus infection and bronchitis. All I need now is a partridge in a pear tree and I'll be all set for Christmas. This is what happens when you procrastinate and don't get a flu shot. Seriously, I haven't felt this sick since....well since that Thanksgiving 4 years ago when I got so sick. But even then...I could breathe!

I think you should all stop right now and take a huge breath. Go ahead, inhale through your nose with your mouth closed. Do it....I'll wait.

Was that good for you? Because at the moment I can't do that at all. As a matter of fact, my nose is so plugged up that I can't even taste. Being sick is one thing but I can't even enjoy all the junk food that Bossman has been buying me!

Well, you all know that I'm a big baby anyway, so why should now be any different?

I will say.....I am very, very grateful for my laptop!

Stay healthy people....and if you see Santa could you tell him that all I want for Christmas is to breathe? Thanks!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Friday fill ins....the sick addition

2010-12-10T16:40:00.000-08:00

So...here we go!

1. I wish I was feeling better.

2. Being sick is not fun...that's what I'm thinking.

3. Please bring the tissues and the thermometer.

4. Bossman is taking care of me and is so amazing.

5. One of my fondest hopes is that my family stays healthy.

6. Bossman is my hero and I just wanted to say thank you.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to sleeping, tomorrow my plans include sitting on the couch and Sunday, I want to feel better!
Written while ignoring laundry by::

Butt massage

2010-12-08T10:47:00.000-08:00

Not much is happening here in grace-land. Life is humming along at a nice pace. I'm getting excited for Christmas. Family will be coming over and I'm looking forward to all the neices and nephews coming over.

So.....Friday between 10am and 12pm, Bossman and I will be home alone.

Bossman told me last night that a spanking would be happening. I'll keep you posted on that.

If a spanking does happen, I'll probably be needing some of this:

I better head to the store.....

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Friday Fill-ins, the NON spanking edition

2010-12-03T11:08:00.000-08:00

I'm failing as a blog writer. I know this. I will try harder. Who am I kidding??? I probably won't. Or I will and then not. Whatever.... I totally blame this on Bossman. There has been no spankings around here and it's driving me NUTS! If he doesn't give me things to write about...how am I suppose to write???

Oh well, enjoy the fill-ins!

1. The best thing about a birthday celebration is the cake.
2. Memories become more precious with the passage of time.

3. I went shopping recently and the most interesting thing I bought was helecoptor.

4. Talking behinds someones back is a child's game I don't like to play.

5. The reason is drama is too stressful.

6. I feel sorry for those in the snow and cold.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Christmas shopping with Bossman, tomorrow my plans include watching the Christmas parade and Sunday, I want to get the Christmas tree!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Thanksgiving

2010-11-28T11:47:00.000-08:00

I can't believe how this past week has crept up on me. It's all been a blur and a fun blur at that.

I had a great Thanksgiving. Actually, this weekend has been awesome. At the beginning of the week I wasn't sure how things were going to turn out. We had major drama on Bossman's side of the family and I wasn't sure how that would affect us.

Turns out, things were great with us. We are getting pretty good at ignoring the drama and leading our own lifes, even when they try and drag us in.

I hope you had a great Turkey day. My sister and her family came over and we had fun. We cooked, we watched football and we played games. We ate until we all wanted to throw-up and then....we ate some more!

Can you believe it's time to get ready for Christmas? My, my, time flies!

Well, what are you waiting for...let the games begin!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

nothing but a Friday Fill-in

2010-11-19T09:39:00.000-08:00

I've got nothing for you today. It's been a bad week and other than what I posted yesterday I've got nothing of interest to report! So let's just do the Friday fill-in and be done with it....OK?

1. Why does the lady taking my blood have to wiggle the needle around while it's in my arm? (don't answer that...I already know. And just because my veins are small doesn't mean it doesn't hurt!

2. I wish I could see the world the way little children see the world.

3. Thank you for being my internet friends and listening to all my problems when surely you have better things to do. How do you like that run on sentence?

4. Christmas is my favorite holiday because I love the decorations.

5. I am SO tired...all the time.

6. We can be anything we want to be if we make up our minds to be. That is a boring answer but my mind is mush today and I can't think of anything else.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Nothing....as Bossman is leaving and I will be home watching my nephew and I'm not looking forward to it, tomorrow my plans include sitting around waiting for Bossman to come home and Sunday, I want to SLEEP!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Do you believe in spanking?

2010-11-18T10:52:00.000-08:00

I take care of a little girl during the day. She's almost 2 and she's just the sweetest little thing. She looks a little like those Olsen twins, when they were babies.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because I had quite the shocker a couple of weeks ago when her mom came to pick her up.

Out of the blue she asks, "So, what do you think about spanking?"

Oh boy! Are you kidding me? Did you really just ask me that?? I almost started laughing. Of course I realized immediately that she was talking about spanking children but still.....

I answered that I'm all for it when I need it and there is never enough at my house....IN MY HEAD.

In real life I asked what she thought....about spanking her children...of course...LOL

In the end it came down to the fact she had a really bad morning with her older daughter (whom I don't watch) and I guess she spanked her and the daughter (totally manipulating her mom) said that it was too hard and it hurt her tailbone.

So the mom....(she's a little bit of an air-head) let her stay at grandmas for the day. This is because she (the mom) is a teacher, so she didn't want her daughter to say something to her teacher about her butt hurting and then having the school turn her in.

Turns out.....just so you know. The mom spanked the daughter with her hand and it was only one slap and it was over pants. When the mom checked on the daughter later in the day, the grandma informed the mom that the daughter didn't even mention it. There was absolutely NO mark on the daughter's butt....not even red. So the daughter was being a typical 6 year old drama queen.....she totally got a free day off of school and made her mom feel bad.

I do understand the dilemma that the mom was put under. IF she HAD sent the daughter to school and the daughter had complained to her teacher, her teacher would have had to tell the authorities and THAT could have resulted in very bad things. Both mom and dad work in the school systems so they could possibly have lost their jobs.

Anyway, this isn't a post about whether or not you believe in spanking your children. BUT, it does show how much life has changed since I was a kid.

Also, how often are you asked, in real life, What do you think about spanking???

Written while ignoring laundry by::

the couch spanking

2010-11-15T09:25:00.000-08:00

Last week, we had the fortunate chance to be alone in our house. The kids were out and not expected back any time soon.

We settled in to watch Hell's Kitchen. Bossman decided that was the perfect opportunity to spank my bottom.

He bared my bottom and put me over his lap while sitting on the sofa. With my head turned, I could watch TV while he was spanking. I can honestly say that there wasn't much TV watching going on.

Even with just his hand...that man can spank HARD!

It was a lovely little spanking but it really hurt. I was surprised at that because usually I can take a lot more from his hand.

I firmly believe that sometimes spanking just hurt more. Seriously....there are times I can take a lot of spanking and still want more. Then there are the times when a few swats hurt so much I don't think I can take any more at all. I'm not sure there is a reason for this phenomenon, but if anyone has any ideas....let me know!

So, that's what's going on over here.

How was your weekend?

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Friday fill-ins...the lazy addition

2010-11-12T11:44:00.000-08:00

I've been lazy and haven't felt like typing anything this week. I DO, however, have a nice the little spanking that I'd like to tell you all about. But not now. I am spending the day with Bossman and the little man so I'll have to tell you all about it later.

Let's do a Friday fill-in!

1. When pigs fly I will like doing laundry.

2. Christmas is a month away...seriously?!

3. Call me anytime!

4. Give me a "Hell Yeah" if you know what I mean.

5. The most entertaining person in my life is daughter because she's super funny and always comes home from work with funny stories.

6. Kurt Warren got voted off of Dancing with the Stars....who's next?

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to quiet evening at home, tomorrow my plans include church and pizza with friends and Sunday, I want to sleep all day!
Have a great weekend everyone!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Oh my, you guys...you won't believe this....

2010-11-11T12:38:00.000-08:00

I got this email and I'm a little concerned. It seems I may have been in a fatal accident!

BUT...if I'm still alive and give them all my info....I could be RICH! What would you like me to buy you???

Thank goodness for the agreement reached to compersate me for the lost funds to scammers and fruad stars. (Whatever the hell that means!)

I'm rich, I'm rich, I'm rich!!!! I better go make sure I'm still alive!

Attention :

I just want to inform you that your FUNDS worth USD500.000.00 has been Deposited at the Bank Of Africa by the Nigerian Government, EFCC , FBI and the United Nations, After an Agreement reached to Compersate you for the lost funds to Scammers and Fruad Stars.

We later received an update that you Authorize Mr.Robert Weller from West Virginia to claim your funds of USD500,000.00? because he informed us that you were involved in a fatal accident, so if you are still alive please kindly get back to us so that we will not be making any mistake as we are about sending him your user name and password to logon to your online account with Bank of Africa that worths USD500,000.00 (Five hundred thousand united states dollars ), we need a final confirmation before we decide to send him the important details to transfer your funds through Bank of Africa online transfer as he claims to be your beneficiary.

Find Your Account Officer Contact Information Below :
=====================================================
Contact Officer: Mr. Michael Williams
Email : seanh231@yahoo.cn
Tel: +234 8083475523... Make sure you Call

Kindly Re-confirm the Information stated Below if you are still ALIVE:

Full Name;........
Home Address;........
Occupation......
Telephone:........
Age:....
A copy of your Identification:....

Please make sure you contact Mr. Michael Williams with all your informations so that your funds can be Transferedto your designated account that you shall provide.

Best Regards
Ann Mills
Bank Of Africa Online Banking
Trust, Clearing & Investment Banking
+234-1780890
Oh Bank of Africa! Thank you so much for the over but it seems I DIED in that fatal accident!
Bummer for me!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Friday fill-in...the moody addition

2010-11-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

I'm moody and cranky. My meds are starting to make my legs ache, which is part of the side affects but it sucks! I feel like I need to exercise but they sometimes ache too much to walk. I'm heading to the oncologist in a couple of weeks, so I'll ask if there is anything I can do for it. From all I've read, Advil is about the best I can do. I'm doing that, but it doesn't help much.
Anyway, life is too short to worry about it. Besides achy legs are better than cancer!

Hope you all have a good weekend! Let's get to the Friday fill-ins!

1. Sometimes, life is sad and complicated.

2. I worried about the whole thing, way too much!

3. Small things make me cranky, lately.

4. The book "The Surrendered Wife" is very enlightening.

5. I keep meaning to tell you all about this book.

6. I haven't gone crazy ...yet.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hanging with the boys, tomorrow my plans include church and relaxing and Sunday, I want to hear the sounds of football and racing on TV!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

ouch!

2010-11-04T09:18:00.000-07:00

My son, the not-so-little man, went to his first dance on Friday evening. He was so excited when he got home. He says he danced and had a great time. He slow-danced with an 8th grade girl. (He's in 7th) Way to go, Son!

Since my son was away, it seemed the perfect time to get that pesky little spanking out of the way. Only there was one small problem.

My daughter walked in the door about an hour before the festivities were to begin. ~sigh~

Seems she was asked to do a split shift, so she was home for 4 hours. Crap!

My heart sank. I thought I was going to have to wait longer to get this spanking over with. Luckily, she had to go back an hour before the dance was over!

YAY! Or maybe boo. No...definitely Yay! With a dash of boo.

So, the spanking was on. And on it was.

Bossman chose to use a wooden spoon, a backscratcher and a bath brush. In that order.

He started out fairly soft but as the spanking went on, the softness faded to sharp stinging. By the time he started on the bathbrush, I was sure I wasn't going to make it. It really hurt! I did the usual amount of complaining and wiggling and such, but it didn't help. The man had a tight grip on me and he wasn't going to let me get out of this.

I was never so glad when it was over.

Funny thing is, after it was over, I didn't think it was so bad. I was telling myself how crazy I was to be dreading it. I really thought, "I've had worse." Of course, I certainly didn't tell HIM that. I'm not THAT stupid.

Turns out, it was a pretty bad spanking. Not so much that night, but the next day it was so itchy and sore. A look in the mirror told me that there was some bruises. Honestly, I didn't think there would be.

Anyway, everything is good now. The car will get fixed soon and life will move on.

You can bet that I will double and triple check my mirrors before backing up my car from now on!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

funny facebook conversation....

2010-11-02T10:52:00.000-07:00

Let's just get this out of the way first. YES, there was a spanking. I don't have time to write about it, but I promise I'll get to it soon.

Halloween was fun. I posted some pictures of my daughter on facebook in her costume and I got funny comments. She was dressed as a dead lion tamer and part of her costume was a whip.

These were the comments I got.

Friend 1: Scary is right! Love the whip. (spanko)

Me: you would... ;)

Friends 2: She looks like a character from a Tim Burton film. Speaking of whips... where did she find it? Surely, not in one of your cabinets!!! (spanko)

Me: I thought she borrowed it from YOU....LOL

My daughter: Gross.

Friend 3: Great pictures. You weird people. Pumpkins were really good, especially when lit. :-) (Non-spanko)

I guess we know where my daughter stands on the whole spanking issue.....or maybe she just thinks it's gross because it's her MOTHER talking....LOL I really love the part where my vanilla friend called us weird!

Either way....it was my favorite conversation this weekend!
Now I need to get start writing about my spanking!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Happy Halloween Friday fill in

2010-10-29T11:19:00.000-07:00

Tonight is the first dance of the year, at the little mans school.

Um.....

Are you serious? He's old enough to go to dances? And wait a minute....doesn't the wildchild turn 20 in a few weeks?

~sigh~ I think I'm getting OLD!

Anyway, since the dance is tonight, I have a strong feeling I'll be doing some dancing of my own. I'm sure I'll be doing the spanking dance and honestly....I'm not looking forward to it.

I'm not usually in the situation of anticipation. Usually it just happens. We don't have the freedom to just spank whenever it's needed....so it's just happens when it happens. And usually it doesn't happen at all. BUT, this time he's determined and he's been reminding me every day.

I guess what I'm saying is....I'm not a big fan of anticipation.

Oh well.....let's get on to the Friday fill-ins....the Halloween addition.

1. While the cat's away the mouse will always eat the cheesecake.

2. I think my sons Halloween costume is fabuloso!

3. Children are always around when I need a good spanking.

4. I immediately take off my shoes when I get home from work or shopping or what have you.

5. This may seem odd, but am not in the mood for a spanking.

6. I'm going to hide the backscratcher and that seems like a fine idea to me!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to getting the spanking over with, tomorrow my plans include carving pumpkins and going to dinner at a friends house and Sunday, I want to trick or treat with my son!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

make-up sex

2010-10-27T13:11:00.000-07:00

I know all you detail whores (and you know who you are) are dying to know what happend on Monday.

It was hot.

It was sexy.

It was....

So, I'm minding my own business, washing dishes. Bossman comes up and starts kissing me. It was a very hot kiss. I melted into him and just kissed long and hard.

Of course that lasted about 5 seconds before a kid walked in. And you know how kids are....all grossed out when the parental units are kissing. Someday, they will get it. LOL

After I finished the dishes, I went into the living room to watch some football. (What do you mean you don't watch football on Monday nights???) I went to sit on the opposite side of the sofa from Bossman, but he beckened me over to his side. Since we had such a crappy weekend, we felt like we needed to be close to each other.

So, I went over and sat by him and I ended up laying on the couch with my head in his lap. He asked if I had taken a shower that day and no...I hadn't yet taken a shower.

At half time, he pulled me off the sofa and led me to the bedroom. He said we were going to take a shower together. Although the kids are grossed out by the shower thing, they are used to us doing that....so it was no big deal.

Once we got into the bathroom though....things changed.

Suddenly, Bossman was in complete control. He made me stand in the dark bathroom while he went and got some stuff out of the bedroom. He came back with a blindfold and our wrist cuffs.

After unclothing me and cuffing my wrists behind my back and blindfolding me, he whispered in my ear that I was to obey him. I was not to talk or try to do anything that he didn't want me doing.

Needless to say, the shower was amazing. He was in control of everything, just the way I like it to be.

It was a nice way to reconnect.

For those of you interested.....there is still talk of a spanking. Bossman is taking great delight in reminding me that it will happen. He wants me to know that although it was an accident, I should have been more careful. He says he can't wait for the opportunity to reveal itself.

I, on the other hand, am thinking this isn't going to be a good one....if you know what I mean.

Written while ignoring laundry by::

guilty as charged

2010-10-26T11:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I can be so stupid!

Bossman has a nice car. It's a sports car and it stands out. People take notice. People comment and point at his car wherever he goes.

I dented it.

It all happened Saturday. We were headed out the door to a funeral. Bossman was taking his car because he had to be there to run the sound system and I had to take the little man to a friends house. We headed out at the same time but Bossman couldn't find his garage door opener. He had pulled his car out onto the driveway and was looking for the opener.

I thought he had left.

I backed out of the garage. And smacked right into his car.

I didn't look out of the mirror. Well, I take that back, I didn't look out of ALL the mirrors. The driveway is at an angle and the way his car was parked, I couldn't see it out the rearview mirror. Had I looked out of the side mirror, I would have seen him.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

This car is Bossman's pride and joy. He loves this car....sometimes I think he loves it more than me! (Not really) So needless to say, he was quite unhappy with me.

Let's just say, unhappy is an understatement. He was out and out PISSED!

Now, I don't blame him for being mad. I was pretty mad at myself and I was helpless to fix it. I hate that! All I really wanted to do was go back in time and make sure I looked out of my mirrors. GAH!

Anway, he zoomed off to the funeral and I took the little man to his friends. When I got to the funeral, I knew I wasn't going to be sitting with him because he was working the sound system. So, I sat through the service by myself. Not only was I sad that my friend passed away, I was pretty sad that I had ruined Bossmans car and I KNEW he wasn't going to talk to me. I knew he was going to be really mad. And I KNEW there was nothing I could do to fix it.

After the funeral, I cornered Bossman in one of the classrooms and I tried to apologize. He wasn't ready to hear it. He said he knew it was an accident, but he didn't want to talk about it. I was in tears, but there was nothing I could do except let him go on his way.

Needless to say, Saturday night was tense in our house. We stayed in opposites sides of the house. Sunday, wasn't much better....but by the evening we were at least hanging out in the same rooms.

All I really wanted was for him to forgive me. I knew it would happen, but the waiting was horrible. I was so sad and angry at myself, I didn't really know what to do.

Monday Bossman came home for lunch. I offered to fix him something and he cornered me in the pantry and gave me a hug. I think it's the best hug I ever got. I got a little teary. He said he forgave me. I told him how sorry I was.

Things were still a little awkward. I didn't know how I should act or be.

Monday night, I was doing the dishes and he came over and kissed me. It was raw and passionate and it was....

Well, it was the beginning of make-up sex.

And if you want to know about it...you'll have to wait until tomorrow. I've got laundry to do!

In case you were wondering, spanking was mentioned and I'm pretty sure the next time we are completely alone, I'll be getting my bottom dented.....just like I did to his car! :(

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Friday Love

2010-10-22T10:41:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for stopping by yesterday! I'm so humbled by the thought you all are out there reading this and think of me when doing laundry...LOL

I'm always surprised when someone leaves a comment. You would think after all the years I've been blogging I'd be used to it. But no. I'm always surprised that you guys want to read this stuff.

So again I say, Thank you!

There is no spanking happening around here. You know, the whole "lets have a period whenever my uterus feels like it" is getting old and making me crabby! That's right, I said it, I'm crabby.

I'm finding myself very sensitive about certain subjects and I keep having to apologize to Bossman for snapping at him. The latest subject.....

I'm very concerned that my children, (mostly the little man) will only remember me as the mom who was sick. The mom that can't do stuff because she's tired, or sick, or it might hurt her neck. (remember, my neck is a mess and I can't do as much stuff as I used to...you know, like roller coasters and stuff)

The other night my son said he wished I could do fun things like I used to. ~sigh~

So, the other night Bossman suggested that I try to do fun things with the little man. I got upset and snapped and, needless to say, it wasn't pretty. I know he wasn't saying it meanly, but I just lost it. I don't like feeling like I'm failing my kids. I certainly don't want to be known as the sickly mom who can't do anything.

Anyway, that's what's happening around here. Don't worry, I've apologized to Bossman and we've moved on, but it's still on my mind and it's still bothering me. Whatever!

Time for Friday spanko fill-ins. At least I try to make them spanking related. I figure I've got to fake it til I make it. If I pretend to be in a sexual, spanking mood....maybe it will happen...right??? Bold is my answer and if I've added anything to the fill in...that's in italic.

1. One of my strongest beliefs is God. And a good spanking can solve most problems.

2. Somtimes I can make small problems huge!

3. The sky is cloudy with a threat of rain and wind and cold, so I start a fire and make hot chocolate.

4. Bossman spanking me is comforting to me.

5. I always thought I'd be a teacher.

6. First we had dinner and then I went outside to look at the full moon.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to dinner at the beach, tomorrow my plans include a funeral (not fun) and Sunday, I want to get my toilet fixed! maybe this week?

Well, there you have it. I hope you all have a great weekend!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Love our Lurkers

2010-10-21T10:30:00.000-07:00

Welcome!

As you've noticed, this is not your typical spanking blog. I've not had as much spanking as I would like. I've been kind of busy with breast cancer.

BUT, things are getting better. Life does move on. I'm one of the lucky ones.

So, thanks for stopping by. Thanks for reading, even on the boring days!

Please....leave a comment if you can. I'd love to know that you are out there reading, even if you leave me a fake name.

This year has been really hard. I've so grateful for the love and support of this blogging community.

So, again I say....

Thanks for stopping by!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Fake it til you make it

2010-10-19T10:49:00.000-07:00

Still coughing! (Yes, C, I should see the doc, but we all have the cough and since it's slowly going away, I'll wait a few more days before I go. I've been going to the doc so much, I really hate to go unless I NEED too!)

The back is feeling better. Still a little sore, but nothing major. Unfortunately, I can lift the laundry basket again!

Ever since I've been on this bc med, tamoxifen, my periods have been weird. (Ok boys, this is where I get into TMI and talk about periods. If this squicks you out, jump to the next paragraph!) See, I've been a spotter. My periods have been super regular, but I spot and bleed a lot throughout the month. I've been doing that since my son was born 12 years ago and I've been to many docs, but nothing is wrong, so I just live with it. I thought tamoxifen was actually going to have a good side effect. I went a whole month without spotting. OH the JOY! What a great month. But then, I didn't get my period. So I thought I was preggers. Which...OMG! Shoot me now, if I'm pregnant. But, I just started my period a week late. That was 2 weeks ago. Now, now I'm having another period. GAH!

Turns out, this is all normal with the meds, so nothing to worry about. Plus, in August I had a pelvic ultrasound and everything looks good in there! (I know you were all dying to know that about me...LOL)

In other news....my daughter may be moving out.

MOVING OUT????

Apparently, she has a friend that needs a roomate and she is thinking of moving in with her. Um, when did she become old enough to move out on her own? Furthermore, when did I become old enough to have a daughter old enough to move out?

This could all happen as early as next month. I'm happy for her, but seriously....how weird is it going to be without her?

I'm trying really hard to be supportive. Trying not to be negative. Hopefully, if I keep this up, I'll actually BE supportive instead of just trying.

On the plus side, she won't be around as much, so there could be more spanking opportunities. Right now, that's about the only plus I can think of.

Life is still moving forward. Even after everything that's happened this last year.

Imagine that!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Friday fill-ins and the bad back

2010-10-16T17:41:00.000-07:00

The cold is slowly going away, but I still have a nagging cough which I thought I'd share with Bossman. You know me, I'm the sharing type!

Let me be honest. This coughing is driving me bananas! If my bladder isn't completely empty, I end up with a little squirt in my panties. (Was that TMI????) Stupid coughing.

So, the other night, I got up to use the potty. It was around midnight and Bossman wasn't in bed yet. I used the potty and stood up. I started to walk to the sink, cuz, you know, I gotta wash my hands, when I had a major coughing fit. I coughed really hard when suddenly.......

OMG!

The worst back pain I've ever had shot through my body.

It felt like lightening had struck my lower back. I thought I was going to fall down, but I managed to grab the sink counter. But there was a problem.

I couldn't MOVE! Oh my goodness, the pain was incredible and I couldn't MOVE. All I could do was stand there.

I tried calling for Bossman but there were a couple of things against me. One was, the door was closed and our house is big. The second thing was, the little mans room is between my room and the living room where Bossman was. The third thing was, the bathroom window was open and I didn't want to alarm the neighbors.

So, there I was, trapped in my own bathroom by my own back. I knew I needed a life alert bracelet. It was a "I've fallen and can't get up" moment!

I couldn't even take my hands off the counter. BUT, I finally managed to push the door open. I was standing right next to it, so I just had to take my hands off the counter. Once I got the door open, I gave a loud shout to
Bossman and I prayed that he would hear me. He did! Finally. It must have been 5 minutes before I was able to get his attention. He says he barely heard me and thought it was coming from outside but decided to investigate. Thank goodness he did.

Once he found me, it was quite a trick getting me to the bed. After trying a chair, (sitting...not an option) and trying various other ways, it was determined that the only way I was making it to the bed was to crawl.

~sigh~ That's right....I said CRAWL! As in, on my hands and knees.

After that humiliating trip across the floor, I managed to get myself halfway on the bed. With my legs dangling off, Bossman was able to get the rest of me on the bed. After a few flips, (him, flipping me..LOL) I was securely on my side of the bed, face up. I was glad I had just got to the potty, for getting back to the bedroom was not going to be fun.

Heating pad and massage helped, then we just went to sleep. When I woke around 6am, I was able to move better and get myself out of bed. Today it's still sore, but I'm able to move and walk.

Everytime I cough now, I get worried. I have to brace myself and try not to cough to hard.

Seriously? Am I suppose to be this frail at the age of 42??? GAH!

Well, let's move on the Friday fill-ins....On Saturday!

1. Wow, it's already Saturday.

2. Spanked behinds are beautiful.

3. My favorite way to start a day is cuddling with Bossman before a spanking and after.

4. I would be very surprised if he came home and he walked in the door holding a pumpkin.

5. I look out my window and see tall pine trees in my back yard.

6. Spanking is what I've been thinking about lately. And bad back or not....I want one!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to making cookies with the little man, tomorrow my plans include watching the nascar race with Bossman and Sunday, I want to make sure Bossman fixes my toilet!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

coughing and hacking and sneezing....oh my!

2010-10-12T11:59:00.000-07:00

Well, I can see my Friday fill-ins were a complete hit! (she says with her tongue in cheek)

Thank you Jean! For your comment and for always being there! You always make me smile!

So, I think...and I'm not sure, but I THINK I got a virus from PK. I've heard of computer viruses, but this is terrible. I went to her site, read about her cold and NOW, now I've been coughing and hacking for 3 days. I'm sure I got it from her. Although it's not fun...I have enjoyed laying around watching cheesy television and eating chicken soup!

Bad news on the spanking front. BUT, good news on the daughter front.

The wild child got a promotion at work. This is great news and I'm really happy about it. The bad news? Her schedule has changed, so now she's home during the day....which means, our spanking time has disappeared! Just this very morning Bossman said my butt needed spanked! But with the wildchild in the other room..... ~sigh~

Well, I'll let you know when this coughing thing lets up! Hope your week is fantastic!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

The return of Friday fill-ins

2010-10-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you noticed, but I seem to be posting a lot more these days. I love posting, but I sometimes have a hard time figuring out what to post. My life seems incredibly boring right now....but I'm not complaining, I could do with a little boredom!

My motto for life right now is simple. Live, laugh, love. Life is too precious to waste.

So, lets laugh today. I don't know if my fill-ins are funny, but they make me smile because they are fun to do. In honor of spanking, I'm going to try and make mine spanking related.

If you don't know what a friday fill in is, it's simple. They are random sentences with blanks and we get to fill them in.

My answers will be in bold, if you would like to play along, let me know and I'll link your blog or you can do them right in my comments!

So, let's get going already!

1. My favorite month is October. It used to be June, but June was bad this year, so I'm going with October because October is right now and I'm happy to be here.

2. When panties are pulled down for a spanking, you can feel a fresh breeze.

3. I love to sniff my fabric softener.

4. A spanking before sex is what I like to have as a treat for breakfast. (Or english muffin with strawberry jam.)

5. The hobby I enjoy most is spanking. (What did you think I was going to say? Reading??)

6. Paddles and spoons and backscrathers, oh my!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hanging with my boys, tomorrow my plans include church and model railroad expo and Sunday, I want to watch football!
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pink stuff

2010-10-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

I KNOW, I know, I said I wasn't going to mention BC month. I can't help it. This is really annoying me.

Do you know how many pink things there are out there for us to buy? All under the guise that the money is going to breast cancer research.

Holy pink crap Batman....there is a lot of stuff out there.

Let me give you some examples.

I saw an ad for a breast cancer doll. She's wearing a cute pink dress with a pink bc ribbon on it. I also saw and I kid you NOT....pink baby leg warmers. For real babies. With pink ribbons on it.......

Also, in the grocery store....pink ribbon razors, pink ribbon soup and in the bakery isle? Cookies with pink ribbon sprinkles on them.

Not to mention the pink ribbon candles for your mantle.

There are shoes, journels, hats and pins. Picture frames, lunch coolers and baby booties. Purses, slippers, flip-flops and ear rings! I even saw pink ribbon candy.

The list is endless people. I think people put pink ribbons on stuff, just to sell it. I'm wondering how much money ACTUALLY gets to the breast cancer research.

I admit, I have some pink stuff. I have a hat that was D's. It's pink and it has a pink ribbon on it. It's sparkley and it was one of D's favorites. My mom bought me a diamond pink ribbon pendent for me to wear while going through radiation treatment. AND, I have a rubber pink bracelet that says "save the ta-tas", that my neice gave me and I wear it every day.

Don't get me wrong, I love pink. I think you've seen my template here have pink on it a lot. Pink was the color of my wedding. I just wonder if we've taken the whole pink ribbon thing too far? How much of the money is actually going to breast cancer research and how much of this stuff has a pink ribbon on it so you will THINK you are contributing?

So, let's just say.... I'm so grateful that there is research being done and there is so much awareness out there. If not, I might not be here right now. I guess I shouldn't complain. Really, I should do my part and buy more stuff with pink ribbons...right?

I think I'll start with this pink vibrator!

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October?

2010-10-03T18:13:00.000-07:00

Would somebody please tell me what happened to September? How is it that October is already here?

Well, yesterday Bossman and I were getting a little naughty in bed before starting our day. After the fun, I was laying on the bed with my butt sticking out. Bossman took a look and noticed that he left a little bruise from the day before.

The man was proud.

Actually, I was proud of him.

I am hoping there is more of this action in my future.

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a quick spanking

2010-10-01T15:59:00.000-07:00

There was a 30 minute window between the time the baby was picked up and the time we had to pick up the little man from school. I didn't have much hope that a spanking would occur as He was in the middle of a video game. Come to think of it, this was one time when I wasn't even hoping or thinking about a spanking.

As I settle in to a game of Bejeweled, on Facebook, Bossman appears next to the computer. He watches the game and since the games are only one minute, he doesn't have to wait long until the game is over. He takes my hand and says "Come with me for a minute."

For a moment, I'm confused. Did he want to show me his score on his game? Did he want me to see the new part on the race car he's working on? Why was he bugging me now?

All those thoughts collided with each other as I stood up from my chair. When I looked up to his face, the reason he wanted to see me was clear. Spanking time!

He said it was high time for a spanking. Although I gave the appropriate response of no, no, no, and I don't want too......he led me to the bedroom.

He grabbed the LV (Las Vegas) backscratcher and sat down on the edge of the bed. He pulled me between his legs and unbuttoned my jeans. He pushed my jeans and panties down to my knees and then pulled me over his knee.

He started off with soft taps on my bottom. They got stingyer and stingyer as he continued. (Is stingyer a word?) It's been a while since my bottom has had a visit from the LV, so it hurt even as they weren't that hard. After a bit, he threw in some hard ones, mixed with the softer ones, and I never quite knew when they would land or how hard they would land.

Before I knew it....and WAY too soon, he stopped. He pulled me up between his legs, pulled my pants up and handed me the LV. I put the LV back where it belongs (not in the trash where it should be) and when to my side of the bed and laid down with my head on his chest. I rubbed my hands on his chest and listened to his heart beat and I thought.....This is good!

We laid that way without speaking until it was time to pick up the little man.

It's the little moments in life that make the biggest difference. Enjoy your little moments this weekend!

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BC awareness month

2010-10-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

I know, you are probably all sick of hearing it. Frankly I'm sick of talking about it.

BUT......Since today marks the start of breast cancer awareness month, I would be remiss if I didn't mention it.

I'm only going to mention it once. Unless I think of something else I need to say about it....in which case, I'll be mentioning it some more.

I'm not sure why breast cancer gets a month. Other cancers don't get a month....at least I don't think they do. I'm not sure that's fair. Cancer is a bad thing, no matter what kind you have! Why do we single out breast cancer? Shouldn't it just be Cancer awareness month, instead of breast cancer awareness month?

I rememeber when I told D about my cancer. She cried along with me and then she said, "I know this sounds bad, but I WISH I had breast cancer." She said that because breast cancer gets the most attention. It gets the most funding. There is a much better chance of recovery! And we all know what happened to D.

So, here's the deal. If you are a woman, do a self-exam. Don't be afraid to feel yourself up. Get to know your girls. That way, when you do feel something wierd, you will know! Also, don't feel afraid to mention it to your doctor. Don't procrastinate. Chances are it's nothing. Most of the time it is, but if it isn't, you have a better chance of survival if you take care of it early.

Second, I don't care what the hell Obama says, if you are over 40, get a mammo! Get one every year. I had one in April of '09 and in December of '09 found my lump. AND guess what? I could only feel one lump and when I went for the mammo, it only showed one lump but, the ultasound showed 2. So...see how fast they can grow? Skipping a year on your mammo is NOT a good idea.

If you are a man....remind your woman! Remind all the women in your life. I know it's scary to think about, trust me, I KNOW, but isn't it better to face it now and get treated than to find it when it's too late?

So, I've done my duty. I've given my thoughts on BC and I have reminded you all. What you do from here is your business!

As for me, I'm done with the BC stuff. I'm ready to move on to spanking stuff!

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The tush dance and sick kids and such...

2010-09-28T13:22:00.000-07:00

Last week the little man came home sick. He was sick all week. Fever, cough and runny nose. By Thursday I took him to the doctor. They said it was probably a sinus infection. All I know is that boy was really sick. One sure way to know if your 12 year old son is sick.....see how long he lasts at video games. When he turns down playing video games...you know he's a sick boy.

I finally sent him back to school on Monday. Now, I don't know if I've mentioned it here, but I've started babysitting a little girl. She's 18 months old and just precious. Her mom works as a PE teacher for an elementary school. Last week, the mom found someone else to watch the little angel so we wouldn't get her sick. I thought I'd watch her again Monday. Monday I got the call that now she's sick. I doubt that my son made her sick, but who knows! Luckily, nobody else in this house got sick.

I don't know how many of you watch "Dancing with the Stars" but I thought I'd share my favorite dance from last night. If you don't want to watch the fluff in the front....fast forward to 1:52. That is when the dance starts and I promise all you spankos will love it!

Enjoy....

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that spanking feeling

2010-09-25T18:59:00.000-07:00

Let's talk about spanking.

I like it!

I like reading about, thinking about it and I like having my husband spank me. Ok, wait. I don't actually like the spanking part. I DO like the "before" the spanking part and I like the "after" spanking part. The actually spanking?

It actually hurts.

The hurt is worth it.

Before the spanking there is always this weird naughty feeling. Part of that feeling is me, feeling like a kinky girl. Feeling like I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing. Then there's the embarrassed, confused, why-in-the-world am I letting this man spank me, feeling. There is also the naughty little girl that just needs someone to take care of her, feeling.

All that and the spanking hasn't even started yet.

Once I'm over his knee, well, the feelings change. I tend to feel it all in the buttockal region. (Yes, I said, bottockal)

How does that feel? Well, it hurts.

I've noticed though, that mood plays into how much it actually hurts. That and implement. If I'm in a spanking mood, sometimes it doesn't seem to hurt as much. Maybe that depends on the time of month. Sometimes it hurts and it doesn't seem like it's that hard, but it still hurts. Sometimes I play mind games with myself and see how long I can go before I make a sound. (that usually lasts about 2 swats in)

Mostly I wonder why I'm crazy enough to let Bossman spank me.

After the spanking the feelings are different. If the spanking has been particularly hard to take, I tend to be more subdued. If the spanking wasn't too bad, I just feel childlike. But also turned on. We usually don't have sex after a spanking, but if we do....wowza! It's usually mind blowing. After the spanking is completely done and my pants are back up, I feel really submissive. I also feel like I need to be around Bossman, sitting closer to him, holding his hand, or something like that. I really feel closer to him. It's a lovely submissive glow that follows me most of the day.

So, there you have it. I like spanking. I like the feelings that it brings up. I like the close feeling I have with my husband.

Now, if I could just figure out how to bottle all this up and sell it. I'd be RICH!

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Survivor guilt

2010-09-23T13:24:00.000-07:00

After thinking a lot about yesterdays post, I think I realized the problem.

I have a bad case of survivor guilt.

I am one of the lucky ones. I didn't have to lose my hair. My side effects have been minimal! Other than having pain from my bad neck, the radiation was a breezy. My skin just turned reddish tan. My doctors were very surprised.

So, I feel bad even telling people that I had cancer. Because they look at me and they see a healthy woman. (Thank God!)

Plus, I feel like I shouldn't complain. After everything my sister-in-law went through, mine was nothing. I truly feel blessed that I didn't have to go through all the stuff she went through. But I also feel a little guilty that things weren't worse. I KNOW! It is stupid to feel that way. But a small part of me feels the guilt.

Anyway, losing her was hard. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I still think of her everyday. Last week we recieved a package from her husband. It was her final wish that we have her personal photos and costume jewelery. Looking through all that stuff reminded me that I am completely lucky. It also reminded me that I miss her like crazy. Also, it just doesn't seem fair that she's gone. I still can't believe that she was here and now she's not. All that is left is some photos and stuff. She's gone. And that is sad.

But, life moves on. It always does.

So let's move on with it.....

I've been thinking a lot about spanking and..... (Too bad I have to take the little man to the doctor. Guess I'll have to discuss this topic later.)

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poster girl....I am NOT!

2010-09-22T11:51:00.000-07:00

If you are not living under a rock, you know that breast cancer awareness month is October. Last year, it came and went without much fanfair. Now, maybe it's just me, or does it seem like everything is about BC? Does it seem like, just like Christmas, they start putting out the pink ribbons WAY before the time?

For some reason, I feel obligated to buy all the stuff with pink ribbons.

Here's the real deal.

I am not a hero! I didn't do anything heroic. I did what each and every one of you would have done. I went to the doctor. I got treatment. Just because it was cancer, doesn't make it heroic. I went and had a pap the other day.....NOT heroic...at all!

Every time someone asks about it I tell them it's no big deal.

And it really wasn't.

I had the lumps removed. I had seven weeks of radiation and now I'm done. I'm good.

I'm not heroic. I'm just damned lucky!

I'd really like to move ahead in my life. I'd like to close the BC chapter and move on.

But, the pink ribbons are everywhere! A constant reminder. And, yes....I have one of these on the back of my car.

And truth be told..... I'm really proud of that one!

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stuff

2010-09-10T14:08:00.000-07:00

We just got back from Vegas and it was great. We gambled to much money, but we stayed in the best hotel. It was cheap but very nice and comfortable....just the way we like it. We decided to stay on Fremont street instead of the Vegas strip and I gotta say, it was worth it. The price was right, 39 bucks a night, the bed was super comfy and the room was nice. We will probably stay there next time.

The last night we were there, we bought souvenirs for the kiddos. All you parents know that you can't come home without presents! We bought the kids standard stuff, shirts and dice and crap like that. Bossman, however, bought himself a souvenir. Actually, I'm not sure if it is for him or for me.

He bought a backscratcher.

~sigh~

Any of you that have read here for any length of time will know that I despise backscratchers. They HURT!

I'm just going to pretend that he didn't buy it. Maybe if I hide it, he'll forget that he bought it....

Anyway, our trip was great. We made up for our lack of sex. Um boy, yes we did! It was splendid to come back to the room and have sex. Just like that. No worries of someone busting in on us! Somebody should have told me how much fun it is to be a grown-up without kids.

Yes, for all you detail whores, and you know who you are.... There was also spanking. Someone, and I'm not mentioning names, put a wooden hairbrush in their suitcase.

All right.....it was me!

Not sure why I did that, because the last time I had a ~~hair~~buttbrushing it was hard and intense. But it was good when it was over.

I've been thinking that spanking is a lot like having a baby. It hurts like hell when it's happening but when it's over it's really really nice. And somehow we forget how much it hurts and do it again.

I've been reading a lot on my kindle. I finally caved and bought 2 spanking books. One was a collection of short stories, mostly husband and wife, really good reads. Since I read them during the ride over to Vegas and any free time, that could explain why we had such great sex...

The other was a collection of letters that people had written about their spanking experiences. Some were husband, wife, some where teens and parents. Some were specific, like birching, or tawes and some were about the difference between sexual spanking and dicipline spanking. It's a very interesting read. I enjoyed reading the different perspectives on the subject.

Tomorrow is 9/11. I'm sure we all remember exactly what we were doing that day. It seems like yesterday. It still so hard to believe.

And yet....time goes on.

Let's enjoy our time, ok?

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A new start on life

2010-08-28T17:41:00.000-07:00

Time has certainly flown by, hasn't it?

Last I checked I was headed camping. Camping was a success! We had tons of fun and the Boy went fishing for the first time. Not only did he catch a fish, he gutted it and ate it. (I didn't participate in any of the latter events! YUCK)

Summer has ended for us. The Boy started Jr. High school. Crazy right? I mean, when I started this blog, he was in kindergarten! I'm still amazed at how old my kids are.

Since school has started I've decided it's time to get a new start on life. The summer was a big blur and it's just nice to get back to semi-normal. We've mourned and although we will continue to mourn, we are moving on.

Another fresh start is not having cancer treatment. I went to the oncologist on Wed. and he said I was doing well. BUT....I am anemic right now and it's not due to low iron. So I went and had 5 vials of blood drawn. I should find out the results on Monday. I'm on a drug called tamoxifen for 5 years. Honestly, I thought my life was over. I've been on the cancer blogs and disscussion sites. People taking this stuff are miserible. I was scared! But...I'm doing well on it. I haven't had much of the side effects. The main one being hot flashes. YAY....this probably means it won't send me into menopause! That is a very, very good thing.

Of course I realize that writing all this down means that something is bound to happen. Surely life can't just get back to normal...can it? Let's hope I didn't just jinx it!

So, other than being tired...I'm doing good. Bossman and I are heading to Vegas on Labor day and spending the week there with NO kids. I'm excited for that, I just hope I have enough energy.

Well, enough about me. How have you been? I've missed you all!

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list

2010-08-09T10:21:00.000-07:00

1. Going camping today, be home on Thursday, wish me luck!

2. Going to Vegas in September. No kids. Family coming from all parts of US. Will stop to see D's headstone...or whatever it is you call it.

3. Got spanked on Friday. HARD! With the hairbrush. Made sitting the next day really uncomfortable in that itchy butt, sort of way.

4. Got spanked again yesterday with some sort of wooden thing. Still sore from Friday, so all the more ouchy.

5. Today is 8-9-10 day.

6. That's all I've got! Have a good week people!

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The end of a chapter...

2010-08-02T12:07:00.000-07:00

This weekend was the closing chapter on D. She'll never be forgotten.....but this weekend was our final act for her. We released her ashes to the sea.

Bossman and I got up at 5:45am Sunday morning. Who knew there was such a time???? I was unaware and frankly, I didn't like it very much. It was still dark but we got dressed and headed to the beach.

D's favorite beach is about 25 min from our house. When we got there, it was overcast. It was about 6:15 as we headed to the pier. I was surprised that there were people out at that time of morning. Lucky for us, nobody was on the pier.

We weren't sure what we were going to do. The ashes came in a box, which came in another box, which held a lidded round glass box...which had a green velvet draw string bag...you know, the kind that would hold a piece of jewelry...which held a little baggie of ashes.

So, Bossman had the green velvet baggie in his pocket and we walked out to the end of the pier. We took a couple of pictures for her husband. Then we stood there and looked out at the ocean. I said, "Ok, lets do this." and the I said some things about D. While I said them, Bossman poured the ashes out. It was sort of magical. The ashes almost looked like a ghost or a spirit as they floated out into the air. The just sort of disappeared into the air.

Bossman and I stood there for a long time just looking out into the vast ocean. Then Bossman carved D's initials into the pier railing. (I KNOW...not only did we unlawfully dump human ashes, we also defaced public property.)

There was no wind and although the sun didn't come out, it wasn't to cold. We sat on a bench and talked about how we had done everything we could for D. Then we talked about Bossman's other sister...she's so far into drugs and alcohol that she will either end up in prison or in the grave very soon. It's so sad. Bossman is the oldest of 3 and he may very well end up being the only one left. We feel so helpless that we couldn't save D and we feel even more helpless that we can't help M, and she's doing it to herself. What a waste of life.

After sitting out there talking for a while we headed back to the car and decided to go out for breakfast.

All in all, it was a very nice, peaceful ending to a beautiful life.

So, that was my weekend....tell me something fun. Tell me what YOU did this weekend!

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the package

2010-07-27T10:36:00.000-07:00

Today is one month. One month since D passed. I miss her so much it hurts.

Of course the drama, the drama never dies!

Before I get to the drama, I'll get to the package.

The UPS guy comes to the door yesterday with a package. I had a pretty good idea what was in the package and a quick peek at the return address told me I was correct.

I immediately took the package to my room. I closed the door and started to cry.

The package was D. Well, part of D anyway.

Her wishes were to have part of her ashes spread at her favorite beach and part spread in a horse arena. The rest to be placed in the....what do you call it??....place where they put ashes at the cemetary. It's a wall of sorts, with plaques with the deceased names on it and they put the ashes in the wall.

Anyway....

So, the ashes came. I didn't think it would bother me so much....but I couldn't stop myself from thinking morbid thoughts. Like....

The last time D walked down this hall we were laughing about her flight being delayed back home.

The last time D was here, she was busy curling her hair and brushing her teeth in this bathroom that we just passed.

GAH! I could go on...but I think you get it.

It's just weird.

And, it's also illegal to spread human ashes at our beach. But we'll do it anyway.

Now, I know you are still reading because you want to hear about my drama. Seriously, if I were you, I'd be wanting to read about the drama. Don't deny it....my drama keeps you entertained.

My life would be so boring without all the drama...LOL

So, Sunday evening Bossman gets a call on his cell phone. He checks the caller ID and it's his dad. He picks up the phone and starts listening intently. He's not saying anything and he's getting a frown line in between his eyes. I immediately think someone else has died. He puts his finger up...motioning to me, just a minute....and then he puts his phone on speaker.

All I hear is the Debil screeching in the background and then the phone shuts off.

I don't know what she was saying, but Bossman heard plenty. Apparently, she was trying to make my FIL call us for info. I'm not sure WHAT info she wanted....but info is what she wanted. According to Bossman, the Debil was using her most hateful tone...which I think is her normal tone, to tell the FIL to call us and find out something. The FIL, using his most whipped voice ever, was telling her she better stay close so he says the right thing.

Bossman was PISSED!

So mad that he immediately went into the bedroom so he could call them back.

He told his father that he wasn't going to tolerate the Debils tone of voice anymore. He wasn't going to talk to her and as far as he was concerned he didn't want anything to do with her. He told his father that she was hateful and rude and unless and until she apologized and stopped acting hateful he was never going to speak to her again. He told his father that she will be lucky if he shows up to her funeral! He also told his father that he would be very happy if he divorced her. He told his father that he has lost ALL respect for someone that allows his wife to talk to him with that tone....and he wasn't putting up with it anymore. He said if his father wanted to talk to him about other things, that was fine, but he was DONE with his mother.

The FIL didn't say anything. At the end of the speech, the FIL asked if there was something else going on with D. (Uh...what??) Bossman, in the heat of anger, said, "Yes, but I'm not telling you!" and then he hung up the phone.

Now, I'm not sure what info they were after. The only thing left with D is the ashes, but I just recieved those yesterday. I mentioned to an Aunt, when D first passed, that we hoped her hubby would honor her wishes about the ashes at the beach....but that was at the beginning and I didn't know anything then.

So, we can only assume that the Aunt asked the Debil what was happening with the ashes. The Debil must have wanted to know. BUT, guess what?

We decided not to tell anyone about the ashes. Bossman and I decided to honor D's ashes alone, just the two of us. We already had the memorial, so there isn't a need for another, and we weren't about to tell the Debil about the ashes. As it is, Bossmans youngest sister said something about having some ashes to wear around her neck....eww! Bossman and I both agree that is just too creepy and D wouldn't have wanted that!

So, hopefully, this ends the drama portion of the summer. Hopefully the Debil will not call here anymore. Bossman made it perfectly clear that he was done with her. One morning soon, Bossman and I will get up with the sunrise, take D's ashes to the beach and fufill her final request.

I am under no grand illusion that the Debil drama is over. But from past experience, I know she won't call here for a long time. It will probably be months before we hear from her again. Now that D is gone she has no reason to call....or have her minion call...here anymore.

For that.....I am truly grateful!

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Drama free table for one....please?

2010-07-23T11:22:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all the comments. I've been reading them and some of them (NICK) cracked me up!

The memorial was very dignified and I know D would have been happy with it. And yes, the Debil wore her hajeeb. (Is that what they call it??)

So, I bet you are all wondering about the condom. What a proud moment that was in my life.

I suppose you could say I brought it on myself. Of course I knew that when we went out of town that she would have "the boy" over. Although he's really not a boy....

I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me start from the beginning. A very good place to start, according to the Sound of Music....LOL

When D died, we had to go to Vegas. The wildchild didn't want to go. She said she could only handle one memorial service so she opted to go to the one here in town. That was fine with us, as we needed someone to take care of the dog.

So, on the day we are heading back from Vegas I get a call from the wildchild. She tells me that this boy she likes is taking a train from Southern Cali, to visit her. Actually, she said he was going to move here.

The story goes, the boy, (Oh wait, he's a MAN....he's freaking 26.) was living with his grandma, and the grandma got put in a nursing home and he was now homeless. He figured he might as well be homeless here in our town instead of being homeless there. Where he grew up. Where his family is.

So, he decides to take a train here. My daughter....19 years old.....told him not to come, but he came.

When we got home from Vegas, she was just going to pick him up from the train. I asked where he was staying the night, but the wildchild had no idea where he was staying.

Around 11 that night, he's still here. Bossman started calling homeless shelters...but they don't answer at 11 at night. Mind you, this is a guy we don't know. We only met him once before. So, we tell the wildchild he can't stay here. She's upset, because she's has a kind heart and doesn't want to just leave him on the street. Frankly, neither did we...but we didn't invite him or tell him he could stay with us. AND...he's 26 YEARS OLD!

So, the wildchild finds a friend to let him sleep on the couch.

And this is how it works out for the next 2 weeks.

Every morning he shows up at my door for the wildchild. He leaves with the wildchild when she goes to work, he comes home with the wildchild when she gets off of work and she takes him to the friends house at 11 at night.

Every time I saw the wildchild, he was with her. Oh, did I mention he had NO money. He had nothing. So she was buying him food and driving him everywhere.

So now, we are going to Disney. Of course the wildchild can't go because she has to work and she has a leech hanging on to her.

We KNEW she would have him over all night. I mean, I'm not as dumb as I look...

But what could we do? We had to just pretend we didn't know.... Of course I gave her the safe sex talk, which she totally poo-poo'd.

We get home from Disney and I'm vegging on the couch. It had been a LOOOOOONG drive home and I was tired. The little man walks into the living room and says, " I don't know what this is, but the dog just brought this from the wildchild's room." He's looking down, so I look down and there is the used condom....on his foot.

Um.......

Right......

So, he scurries out of the room and I pick up the thing....YUCK....and walk to the wildchild's room. I knock because god knows what I'll find in there....and when she opens the door, I hand her the condom and say " I have a present for you." And then.....I slam the door.

Now, I'm not sure how Bossman didn't notice all this going on....but he didn't. I wasn't sure what my next move was going to be, so I went and sat back down....to think.

About 30minutes later, I'm still sitting there trying to decide what the hell I was going to do. Bossman comes into the room and tells me the little man isn't feeling well and when asked he said he was sick and that the wildchild was in big trouble. Heh.

So, I had to tell Bossman what happened.

cue the scary music.

He was NOT a happy camper.

BUT, to his credit, he decided to let me handle it. Um, yeah.....I wasn't sure what the heck I was suppose to do.

So, meanwhile, they somehow snuck out of the house. I called her and told her to get back home so we could have it out and DON'T bring him with her.

When she came home, I talked and talked and talked. I told her he wasn't welcome in our house anymore. I told her it was disrespectful to pull that crap in our house. I told her I was glad she used a condom, but did she KNOW how many people that guy has slept with? Because she just slept with all of them. I said I hoped to god the condom didn't have a hole or break because we'll know in 9 months.

So, she left. Then she told him to GO HOME!

Of course he had to find someone to send him money. I think he finally got his mother to wire him some money because she took him to the train station and he's GONE! YAY!

The little man is fine....and YES, he knew exactly what it was....why do you think he brought it to me on his foot??? Smart kid.

As for the wildchild??? I don't know what the heck I'm gonna do with her. I'm thinking it's time for her to move OUT! GAH!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

remind me again....

2010-07-19T13:47:00.000-07:00

Ok, Disney was ok. It was lovely watching my son have such a good time. We took his friend with us and the two boys cracked us up the entire time. It was africa hot there and I was miserable, but Oh well.....it's life. I couldn't go on most of the rides, due to my neck, but I still managed to go on some. Anyway, I survived and now I just want some peace and quiet!

Oh wait....I live with a 19 year old and a 12 year old...there is no peace or quiet in this house.

Oh...and there was drama when we returned from Disney with the wild child. I don't call her the wildchild for nothing.....she delivered right on schedule. But I'll tell that story another day.

Today, I'll finish up the Debil story.

When last I posted. I had just finished telling you how we were having a memorial for D in our town and we were bracing for the debil. This will be the first time she's stepped foot in our church for numerous years and YES, she would wear her hajeeb? (you know....the head scarf thingy)

We had managed a few discussions with my FIL. We told him we didn't not want drama. If there was to be drama, Bossman and his father were going to get up and escort her out of the church. We already warned the sound guys to turn off her mic...should she get a hold of one.

The FIL assured us that she didn't want to say anything at the memorial. YAY! I was so relieved!

Until the day before the memorial. The FIL calls. I answer. He says the Debil has decided she wants to speak at the memorial....

cue the scary music.....

I think I said...."uh, no?" Yes, I do have a way with words, don't I?

I then handed the phone to Bossman. Smart move on my part....

Bossman listens a few minutes and then says things like, nope, no, NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

He realizes that the Debil is listening in on the conversation. He tells his father that his mother is not a nice person, she's burned all her bridges and WHAT in the HELL could she possibly need to say to our church?

Now, let me clarify. We are not mean people. We sent them a copy of the eulogy and we asked them if they had anything they would like to add. FIL called and wanted me to add a few comments that he remembered...which I did. THEN he called and said that the Debil wanted to have her name in the eulogy changed..... That's right folks, she wanted her name different from the one she uses and the one that everyone knows her by. THANK god it wasn't a mus*lim name. So, although we were NOT happy.....we did it. Just to limit the drama. We also asked them for pictures because I made a slide show. The FIL....he brought me ONE...ONE picture is all they could come up with. Apparently they were in a shed somewhere in the back and they didn't have time to get to them....although.....they had 2 weeks....

Thank goodness I had pictures.

So now suddenly, she wants to speak that the memorial.

Um NO! That wasn't going to happen. Bossman told them NO! After a very uncomfortable conversation with his father, Bossman hung up the phone. He had said no and I was very happy.

Of course, it's never as simple as that. A couple of hours later there was another call from the FIL. This time he was alone. He tried to tell Bossman that she wasn't going to say anything bad, but she wanted to clarify things. What thing? You ask? She wanted to make sure that everyone knew she was raised by her parents and they were good people dammit! (Ok, I added the dammit for dramatic purposes....LOL)

Bossman told his Dad no again. He and the pastor were the only two that would be speaking at this memorial. If the Debil got out of hand...we would deal with it.

Finally, the day of the memorial, the FIL called and said she wasn't going to be speaking after all. DUH!!!! Of course she wasn't. We weren't letting her and that was that.

Now, doesn't it strike you all funny that WE...Bossman and I...are the ones doing the memorial, instead of her PARENTS???

Well, the memorial was a success! The Debil behaved herself and everything was nice. She sat in the back of the church and was very cold to us...but we could have cared less.

After the service, we had a pot-luck. I waited to see what the Debil had in store...but amazingly enough, everyone was very kind to her and she behaved herself. I think she enjoyed the attention everyone was giving her. The people of my church are AWESOME! They treated her with kindness and warmth. I was really proud. I was proud of Bossman for being such an awesome brother and speaking such wonderful words about his sister. I know D would have been really, really proud of how everything turned out.

When we went to say goodbye to the Debil, she was sitting with a few of our church friends. People she's known for 20 plus years. We walked up and she told Bossman that he did a really great job and she was proud of him. So, that was nice. Until...

One of the friends at the table knew how much work I had done for it. So she said, Grace did a lot too! The Debil just glared at me. HAHAHAHAHA! Whatever, you old bat! LOL

So, now that it's over I can breath a sigh of relief. It's going to be a long time before life can get back to normal, but I'm just glad D isn't suffering anymore. I will miss her. She and I would have spent hours on the phone discussing the Debil and all her drama. We called it the "mama drama".

Oh, and the name change in the eulogy? Bossman skimmed over it so fast...I don't think anyone noticed....LOL

Next post: What to do when your dog carries a used condom out of your teenagers bedroom...

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Who put the fun in funeral?

2010-07-14T10:41:00.000-07:00

We promised the little man we would take him and a friend to Disneyland this summer. We promised that when I was done with treatment we would take him. And we were suppose to go two weeks ago.

Then....well...you know what happened.

But now, now we will go because...

We promised...dammit!

So....

Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to Disney we go....

We leave tomorrow. I'm not to thrilled. I just started new meds and I'm tired from the last two weeks and, and, and.....BLAH!

But, we will go. And dammit...we will be HAPPY!

Lord knows we could use some happy right now. Plus, Friday will be D's birthday and what better way to celebrate than at the happiest place on earth....right? Somebody agree with me!!!!

Before I go, I'll leave you with a tid-bit of mus*lim goodness.

SHE....wasn't invited to the memorial in Vegas. As a matter of fact, there was a time when D said she didn't want her parent coming to her memorial OR to even know where she was going to be buried.

I'm pretty sure that was D's way of protecting her husband and his family. I mean, his family did everything for her and the mus*lim? Well, for the first year and a half, after D was diagnosed....they didn't even speak. It was only last December, when D came to visit us that she decided to visit her mother and father. So, the last 6 months have been sort of a reconciliation. BUT, no love fest. The, (well, I shouldn't call her the muslim...for that is disrespectful to muslims when I use it in a derogatory way...right?.....let's see, lets just call her the Debil, like in the Waterboy) Debil loves to talk about all things islamic. Every conversation includes the words mohammad and quran, even though we have all clearly told her we are not interested in that kind of stuff.

The Debil thinks that she is the head of the household. We should honor and respect her...LOL and that she should be able to tell us ANYTHING and we should respect her enough to listen to what she has to say. EVEN if she tries telling my then 8 year old son that the Americans bombed the world trade center and that the air force base near our house has hidden bunkers with prisoners in it that the Americans are torturing.

Also, she also hates everyone....she's told and aunt that she hates me. I'm a back-stabbing liar. She's told my daughter that the aunt is a bitch. (yes, apparently the Debil cusses) She's told Bossmans youngest sister that we are all liars.

Yes, the Debil likes to pit her kids against each other. Isn't that what parents are suppose to do?

As a result of this charming personality.....the Debil has no friends. She has no life outside of her computer where she chats it up with others of her kind. She's even gone so far as to tell us all that she wants to change her last name to a friends last name that she met online. I don't know his last name....but his first is.....well, you guessed it....it's mohammad. I'm not sure where this guy lives...but she sends him money and wants to move to his country.

Of course, I know what your thinking.....where the hell is her husband? I think he lives in candy land. It's the land of gum-drop forest and candy cane lanes. According to him, he's just along for the ride and.....I kid you not....he's just waiting for Jesus to come again.

That pretty much sums up why the Debil wasn't invited to the memorial. Did I mention that she hates D's in-laws? D's MIL made the mistake of calling the Debil and asking for money. The money was to help D travel to and from Houston. You know...to save her LIFE?? The Debil didn't like that. So, the Debil told the MIL off. So, you can probably guess how the MIL feels about the Debil. Not to crazy about her....

So, back to the memorial. D didn't want the Debil there and the in-laws were in full agreement. We were the only family to attend the one in Vegas. There was NO mention of the Debil at the memorial. As a matter of fact, there is an online memorial page and the biography doesn't even list the Debil as a survivor. As hateful as the Debil sounds....even I couldn't believe they weren't mentioned as survivors.

Regardless of how the picture has been painted....when Bossman and D were growing up, they didn't have a terrible childhood. There was no abuse, the Debil wasn't mus*lim yet and although they were raised in a strict christian home....it was not terrible. So, although the last couple of years have been bad...I do think they should have been listed as survivors.

AND....they are her parents and although they are misguided...LOL They are also mourning the loss of their middle child.

Needless to say, the Debil was not happy when she found the website. Nor was she happy that she wasn't invited to Vegas.

Since we live 6 hours from Vegas and D grew up where we live, we decided to have our own memorial. We couldn't keep the Debil from coming to ours. For one, the Debils hubby goes to our church. For two, we weren't planning on hiring bodyguards to keep the Debil out of our church.

We were....I should say...I was completely worried that the Debil would cause trouble. She hates everyone at our church. She hates me....and she's not very happy with Bossman, since he hasn't talked to her for 2 months. As a matter of fact....she was really pissed that we didn't call her with our condolences. But we didn't care. We were doing the memorial and she wasn't going to ruin it.

Except she wanted to say something at the funeral.

Too bad I don't have time to tell you the rest....LOL

I'll let you know if Disney really is the happiest place on earth. Frankly, I don't think so. I think the happiest place on earth is my couch with a cool drink and a good book. But, I could be wrong.

Written while ignoring laundry by::

life goes on...

2010-07-13T12:12:00.000-07:00

When someone I love dies, I start obsessing over death. Of course my own bout with cancer has doubled that obsession. Every little thing is cancer. Cancer, cancer, cancer. The bump on my elbow? Cancer. The zit on my forehead? Cancer. I have what some would call canceritis. I'm hoping it will go away soon.

Dying is such a personal, emotional thing. It's so frustrating for us to sit back and watch this dying thing. It seems like we should be able to stop it. Surely there is something we can do to stop this thing called dying.

D is gone. I am left to contemplate life and death. Sometimes I wonder how we can all go on. I mean....D DIED! She's dead. She isn't going to call me on the phone and grouse over the mus*lim. How is it that I still took a shower today and washed my hair and she didn't? Couldn't? How do we still manage to laugh and eat and play and love, when she can't?

Of course, life goes on. It's weird how that happens. It feels like everyone in the world should just stop. On the day she died, Bossman and I went out to the store. I kept wondering why everyone was still shopping. Didn't they know someone had died...that very day? It almost seemed wrong for us to be shopping.....it seemed out of place. But we did it and life went on....

Why do I always feel like laughing at funerals? Something always makes me laugh and the harder I try not to laugh, the worse it is. It's so inappropriate. Lucky for me, this laughing came at the end of the Vegas memorial and we were outside, so I was able to hide it pretty well.....

Before I tell you what made me laugh, let me explain the memorials. Yes, there were 2. The musl*im was not invited to the Vegas one. I know....seems harsh not inviting the deceased own mother....but D did not want her mother there. She made that very clear to those of us around her. I believe she was protecting her husband and his family from her and her drama. I'm glad she did. The Vegas service was beautiful and her Vegas family did a great job. Bossman, the little man and I were the only ones there from her family. Trust me....it was better this way.

The memorial was nice. Bossman did the eulogy and it was very sad but I think we honored her well. D's husband said it was good. It was hard to write it. But between Bossman and myself I think we did a good job. After Bossman did the eulogy, there were words of comfort from a clergy person. She was an interesting Reverend. She had spiky gray hair. She seemed nice. But why do they go and pray to the picture? There was a big picture of D in the front and she did some sort of prayer thingy to the picture. I'm not sure what religion that is, but I thought it was kind of funny. (I don't mind that sort of thing, it just struck me as funny)

BUT...that was not the part that made me laugh. After the words of comfort, they asked us to step outside because they were going to release doves. I've never seen that done before....so I thought that would be cool.

We get outside and they ask D's hubby to hold one of the doves. He was to release it after the other doves. Apparently, the doves symbolize the angels leading the way to heaven and the dove that D's hubby would release would symbolize D's spirit following them to heaven.

Um....ok. Sound kind of neat....so far.

While they are explaining this to us...the lady in charge of the doves doesn't know D's hubby's name. Um....why are you not prepared? So as she's letting out the doves and she's talking, she has to lean in to ask him his name. Um...NOT cool! How do you not know the widowers name?

Anyway, they release the doves and there is music playing and it's actually kind of peaceful. We stand there for about 5 minutes watching the doves fly around and then...

Well, then the lady says it's the end of the dove ceremony. And we are all feeling peaceful until she says...

"For those of you worried about the doves...don't be worried. They live on the other side of the field and will come home when they are ready."

Um......What? So those aren't really angels? LOL That wasn't D's spirit? LOL

OMG! Way to break the mood lady....LOL

It was all I could do to keep from laughing.

Everyone was jerked out of the peaceful moment. It was a little awkward, but plenty funny and I kept thinking that Darla would have loved that! She would have cracked up with us.

But, I suppose you would have had to have been there....... LOL

Next post: How to piss off a mus*lim. Or: How hateful can one person be???

Written while ignoring laundry by::

My hero, my friend, my sister...

2010-07-12T11:12:00.000-07:00

On June 27th, D fell asleep and didn't wake up again. Her body battled hard to stay alive, but the cancer was too powerful and her liver was too weak to take any more.

She was 36 years old. Friday July 16th will be her 37th birthday. The birthday she won't celebrate with us.

You all know her as the cancer patient. That's really all I've told you about. But she was so much more than that. I'd like to share a tiny bit of her with you.

Her passion was horses. She's had a horse since she was 12 years old. (which is the same year I met her.) She had everything horses and went so far as to buy a NFL Colts watch...because it was pink and it had a horse shoe. (She wasn't into football...LOL) Her latest horse was a rescue horse from Hurricane Katrina. Her favorite type of riding was dressage. I'd tell you more...but I know nothing about horses.

She loved the color pink. Hence the pink watch. She loved having her nails done and having her hair done and she loved looking good. She was beautiful.

D loved life. She loved everything about it. She loved animals. She had a dog that passed away last year and she had that dog for 17 years. That's almost half of D's life. That dog was her baby. D had no children of her own.

Her husband....he's devastated. He was the love of her life. He was sleeping with her when she took her last breath. He was D's angel.

The last 2 weeks have been harder than I ever thought possible. We went to Vegas for her funeral and then a week later had our own memorial here in our town. Both tributes were beautiful and sad and hard. Bossman gave the eulogy at both. His sister would have been proud! He did an amazing job.

Now that the memorials are done....we must move on. And we will. She would have wanted us to mourn and then get on with life.

Now that I've written the sad news.....BOY do I have stories to tell. Even in the saddest times....funny stuff happened. AND no memorial could be complete without drama from the mus*lim. So...stay tuned....

But for now.....hug your family! Be grateful....Be happy!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

just humming along

2010-06-24T12:38:00.000-07:00

Just popped in to let you know that things are still humming along.

D is still hanging in there. There was a point when we thought we'd never talk to her again and then.....she called. She is hard to understand but she's still hanging tough. She says she is getting her strength back a little, so that's a good thing. We are still trying to decide when we should go back over there. Next week...maybe.

So...believe it or not....life is pretty good right now! I'm feeling good. We are starting to enjoy summer. We are taking the little man and his friend to Disneyland in the middle of July. We are planning a camping trip...not sure when, but sometime this summer.

AND....

Yesterday, Bossman gave me a spanking!

You know things are looking up when a spanking is involved. (Oh wait...I was actually looking down when that happened!)

Bossman took yesterday off of work and so we had some time to run errands and just be together. The little man went to a friends house and so we had some alone time. Bossman thought this was a great opportunity to spank me. He got out a nice flat wooden spoon. Personally, I don't think that was fair. My butt is practically a virgin. It's been so long since I was spanked, I forgot what if felt like. Turns out...IT HURTS! And the spoon didn't help much!

I was a big baby about the whole thing and Bossman said he stopped way too soon. But you know what? It was nice! Sure it hurt like hell. But it was so nice to feel "normal" again. (yes, I realize I'm not really normal) It was nice to have my hubby be in complete control and not have a worried look on his face. It was nice to just be US again!

All that, and I think we are getting a new bed!

So, for right now.....for this very moment in time....

Life is good!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

the waiting game

2010-06-09T11:57:00.000-07:00

This past week has been a whirlwind of emotion.

Friday was my last day of radiation! YAY me! I'm done with cancer and I couldn't be happier.

On Monday, I couldn't be happy that I wasn't going to the doctor at 4:15, because I had another appointment about my neck. Turns out....it's not as bad as it sounds.

It's bad...in the sense that I'll be dealing with this the rest of my life and I'll have to be extra careful...but surgery is NOT in the immediate future.

As a matter of fact, my doc has had neck problems and so he knows exactly what I'm going through. He says that if the pain is not consistent for at least 6 weeks and if I don't lose any strength in my hands, I need to do nothing...except no lifting things above my head.

Friday was the last day of radiation and also the last day my neck hurt bad. Now that I know the problem...I realize that the act of laying on the radiation table with my arms above my head and my neck turned....well that is why I have been hurting all month. I haven't had any pain since Saturday....so that is good!

So, as far as I'm concerned...it's all good news! The bad news?

We feel like we are just sitting around waiting for D to die. Everything seem to be going downhill pretty fast and we were bracing ourselves for the worst and then last night....D called.

She hasn't been able to talk or move for over a week, so a call from her was surprising and wonderful! Apparently, they gave her some meds to help with some swelling on her spine and it caused her to be able to function better. So....it's still a waiting game, but nobody knows how long this will go on.

It's stressful waiting. We are contemplating another trip to Vegas....but that would be 3 times in a month and frankly, it's wearing on our finances! We are worried that we would go and then have to go back a week later for a funeral. It's a dilemma! Bossman feels like he's already said goodbye to her....but if she wants to see us again....we'd have to go!

I am having a bit of survivors guilt and D's not gone yet. I wonder why I had a relatively easy time of cancer and D has had to go through so much. Her hubby called the other day and asked how I was doing and I said I was fine and treatments were over.....and then I felt bad telling him that since he was there...watching his wife die.

I know I shouldn't feel that way but I can't help it. It's just sad and confusing.

Boy, I can't wait until I can just write a post and not have a single sad thing in it!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Where do I begin?

2010-06-03T00:37:00.000-07:00

This week has been so full of stuff, I don't even know where to begin.

Let's start with last Friday. Friday was suppose to be a great day. It was the start of a three day weekend. Bossman's band was going to play a real honest-to-goodness gig at a car show and the weather was perfect. But as with all things, Friday did NOT turn out as planned....

First there was the pesky little thing called radiation that I had to attend to. They changed my appointment to earlier in the day, so I was there at 1. Now, I've still been having pain in my neck and chest, not a lot, but enough. So Bossman drove me to the appointment. We figured there was plenty of time to get it done, pick up the little man and head to his gig, since he didn't need to be there until later in the evening.

Have you heard the saying....the way to make God laugh is to make plans? Well, God sure laughed on that day!

Since I was still having pain, I asked to see the doc after my treatment. I just wanted her to double check that my heart and stuff was ok, since I was still hurting. She wasn't there, but the other doc was....so I saw him after treatment. He took a good long listen to my lungs and heart and then...

Well, he thought one side of my lung sounds sounded off. So, he told me I should go to the ER. Yep, the emergency room.

I walked out to the car, unable to figure out how I was going to tell Bossman....as he was suppose to go to his gig...that he'd been practicing for.....for over 2 months.

I told him. Because it was time to pick up the little man, and we were RIGHT next to the ER, he took me to the ER and then he went to pick up the little man. He called my daughter and asked her to come stay with me.

I was having some pain....but I really didn't think I needed the ER. So I wasn't really too worried. I sent Bossman to his gig with the little man and I hung out in the ER. After setting a record for the shortest time I've EVER been to the ER....only 3 hours, the verdict was.....I was fine. Chest x-ray was clear and the heart was fine.

I was able to call Bossman and tell him that I was fine. This was 30 minutes before the gig was suppose to start. My daughter was going to drive me over to the gig. However....

The singer for Bossman's band had a small problem. He is on probation (who knew?) and because he was sick he took some cold meds. Problem is...they did a random drug test on him and guess what? It came back positive. So...he was put in the slammer. Bossman's band....had no singer! I ended up staying home....Bossman called and said someone else in the band got a friend to help them and they ended up playing.....

It turned out ok....but Bossman was clearly upset by the whole thing and has now quit the band! Of course, there is more than one reason for quitting....but this was pretty much the final straw!

So, that was Friday.

The weekend was ok....the pain seemed to be dying down, so it wasn't too bad. Bossman took the wildchild to see D and that was VERY upsetting for him....because she's going downhill very quickly. But it was good for the two of them to go.....it could be for the last time. Who knows?

Meanwhile....my doc scheduled me for an MRI. I had the MRI on Tuesday, which happened to be the same day as my little man's birthday. Ironic that I was in the same hospital on the same day, 12 years apart. Too bad I didn't get to come home with a bundle of joy this time.

Have you ever had an MRI?

You could have warned me!

Oh-MY-GOD!

That was the craziest thing I've ever done! Ever see the older Star Trek movie...the one where Spock dies and they put him in a space pod and shoot him out to space? THAT is what I felt like. I thought for sure they were going to shoot me out to space. Since I'm not claustrophobic, I just closed my eyes and tried to think good thoughts. BUT....nobody told me it was going to be LOUD! The noises were insane! Honking and beeping and drilling sounds....and they gave me earplugs and it was still loud. I had to stay in the space pod for 15 minutes......it was a little freaky. Then they pulled me out...shot some dye in my arm and made me go back in for 10 more minutes. I was NEVER so glad to get out of that thing.

Anyway, today I found out some good news and some bad news......which would you like first?

Ok...good news first! Friday is the last day of radiation! Hooray for me! I'm so glad this part over! The other good news? The MRI did not show any cancer or tumors anywhere. YAY me!

Now the bad news. The pain.....the pain is coming from a bulging vertebrae disc in my neck. Apparently the usually only happens in a older person. Apparently my bones are degenerating. Apparently, I am a 42 year old, living in an 82 year old body! (Ok, the last one is an exaggeration, but I think you get my point)

Now mind you, my cancer doctor was the one telling me this...so she doesn't have the knowledge that an orthopedic doctor has....so when she told me....she was just reading the results and right away was telling me I would need surgery and it's very serious and pretty much scared the crap right out of me!

Luckily, Bossman came with me....just in case there was bad news....so he listened better than I did. BUT....after I met with her...it was time for my treatment and I had to wait.....so while I was waiting...she called my regular doc and HE told her that there were other treatments available and might not be as bad as she made it sound to me.

So, while I was on the table....they have to move the table 4 different times....so it was during one of the moves, she came running in and was so happy to tell me the news wasn't so dire! So....I was happy about that. Then she went out and told Bossman.

I thought I was going to burst into tears when I got out to the parking lot....but instead I left feeling a tad bit more hopeful....plus I learned I only have 2 more days of radiation left!

Did I mention my son had a birthday yesterday???? He did. And I love him!

Did I mention that I'm writing this at 1 in the morning because I can't sleep and I wanted to google bulging neck discs?

Well at least it's not more cancer.....right????

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Life sucks...and not in a good way!

2010-05-22T17:00:00.000-07:00

It seems everything I write about these days is depressing and boring. 2010 is just not my year!

I can't tell you how many times people have said I look good. I guess when you find out someone has cancer....you think they are going to look bad or something. I suppose if I was having chemo, I might look bad....but since I get to keep my hair, I guess I look good. It's nice of people to say, but sometimes I wonder....did I look bad before? I think I look the same, but heck, what do I know?

D isn't good. Last weekend was bitter sweet. I kept thinking (to myself) that this might be the last time I see her. She's not bed ridden yet, but the docs have said there is nothing more they can do for her. I kept wishing time could stand still. My mind kept randoming thinking about how life will be when she's gone. She was wearing flip flops and I kept thinking about her toes and how unfair it was to her toes that she was going to die and her toes were so pretty and so young looking and how unfair for her toes to have to die along with her. Toes? I was thinking about her toes? Is this really how people think when a loved one is dying? Or have I just jumped into the deep end without my floaties?

As a human, (why yes, I am, in fact, a human) I can't help but question why. I know there isn't an answer that would satisfy me, but still. People are always saying that we are suppose to learn things from death and from dying and from having bad things happen.

A story was told to me about a husband that was watching his wife die. As this was happening, someone told him that maybe this was so he could learn to be more compassionate. Maybe now, he would be more compassionate to others. His response? I don't want to learn that lesson....I just want my wife to live.

If there is a lesson to be learned from what is going on with D, or for that matter, with myself....I don't want to learn it. Is the lesson really what's important here? Maybe.....but I just want D to live. Surely there is an easier way to learn lessons. And really....what lesson is that important that it takes someone death to learn?

I've tried to write all week. I don't want my blog to be depressing all the time, but hell, this is my life. It's what I'm dealing with and so I'll write about it. Life isn't always sunshine and flowers.

Sometimes, life just sucks!

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on the road again....

2010-05-13T19:58:00.000-07:00

We decided to head to Vegas this weekend to visit D. Things haven't improved much....but she's not in the hospital and she really wants to spend the day with us. We will leave tomorrow afternoon....drive for 7 hours....and finally arrive. Since this isn't really a vacation, we aren't planning on hitting any of the big casinos. Besides, we will have the little man with us. I'm sure we will mostly just be hanging out with her at her house. Hopefully, she won't go back into the hospital. But, we've learned that she can land in the hospital in a moments notice.

It will be good not to think about the radiation for a couple of days. After talking to the techs today, it sound like I have 28 treatments...the way I'm doing them now...and then they do 6 or 7 treatments at a different angle. Since, right now, I'm laying on a table with my arms over my head....I can't imagine what this new angle is going to be about. Luckily there isn't as many of those.

As it looks right now....my last treatment should be on June 8th.

Keep that date open for the party!

Have a great weekend!

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another year older and deeper in debt....

2010-05-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

I'm sure the title of this post is part of a song. I can't seem to remember what song, but the line has been stuck in my head all week. And, ain't it the truth???

I had a GREAT birthday. I was treated to a lunch and a drive to the beach by Bossman. After my cancer killing treatment (must mention cancer with every post...LOL), we went out for dinner with the kids and my Mom. We came back to the house for ice cream cake (sorry PK, but it was really fattening and delicious!) and then it was time for PRESENTS!

Yes, I am a little kid when it comes to presents. I LOVE 'em! Let's be real, even if you say you don't want presents, you do....and even if you say you don't like getting presents.....WE don't believe you! Yes-you-do! You like presents, I like presents, we all like PRESENTS!

Back to presents....

My daughter gave me a beautiful heart necklace that says mom and it has a key and it says "a key to a full heart is love".

Let's all say....AWWWWWWWW...together now.

Next, my son gave me a book that I had wanted and (again, I'm sorry PK) a box of twinkies. YUM YUM. My boy knows me so well...

Bossman gave me, well, he's giving me... it's being ordered this week, a Kindle. Click on the link if you want to know what it is. I can't WAIT to get it. I love reading and I'm so excited to be able to have any book I want at my finger tips. I can hardly wait for it to come.

I hope you all you mothers had a great Mothers day. Mine was good. There were chocolate covered strawberries (sorry PK) and there was breakfast in bed. It was a very lovely day.

Last, but not least, I want to thank all my friends for stopping by to wish me a happy birthday. I appreciate all of you! And to my good friend Tracy for putting up this post for me! PK, you might not want to stop by, because it all looks delicious! Thanks Tracy for taking the time out to think of me! http://angelbrat454.blogspot.com/2010/05/happy-birthday-grace.html

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statistics show...

2010-05-06T15:47:00.000-07:00

Statistics show the more birthdays you have the longer you live.

Makes perfect sense to me!

Guess that's a good reason to turn 42 today. And I don't feel a day over 41.

Thanks for a great year! It's been a hell since January but you all have made me smile! Sometimes that's all a girl needs.

I said SOMETIMES!

Now excuse me while I go kill off some more cancer cells!

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Just so I can get rid of the whiney post....

2010-05-03T17:31:00.001-07:00

I think I'm done whining. At least for today. The boob, she hurts, but since I have 5 more weeks to go...well, no sense whining every-single-day! Even I get bored with that. This is not to say that I won't feel like whining tomorrow. Heck NO, I can't promise that.

In honor of not feeling like whining, I decided to post some pics of our new dog. Yes, I KNOW....we got her 3 months ago. But see, I have this little thing called cancer that keeps my mind from thinking about anything else. (YES, I played the cancer card and will continue to use it for as long as it works! Did it work?)

Anyway, we are getting used to our dog. For a short while there, I thought we had made a big mistake. BUT....she is a really sweet dog and now that we are used to her, we love her. (except at 4 in the morning when she tries to protect us from the neighborhood cats by BARKING!) My son is in love with her! And since he's the main reason we got her...well, we will call this a success!

So, here she is....

Isn't she a beauty?

And added in, for your viewing pleasure is a picture of my cactus. I love this cactus. I saved it from my moms house when she was moving and it was just sitting there so I took it. It's NEVER had flowers on it and I've had it for about 4 years. Isn't it beautiful?

Wasn't this nicer than whining??

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modesty? I gots none

2010-05-01T22:34:00.000-07:00

Seems like when you have breast cancer you immediately lose your modesty. I don't know how that happens.

I don't seem to mind people looking at my breast. Really, why should I mind? I've already shown them to most of the west coast. To me, they are just body parts. It could be that since I've used them for feeding my babies, it just doesn't seem like there is anything more to be modest about.

Let's face the facts here.....my boobs are not very sexy. Seriously, after breast feeding my babies and now that I've had surgery....trust me, these girls have seen better days.

So, it's hard for me to relate to Bossman's concerns about people seeing my boobs. He's still upset about it. I'm frustated about it.

I just don't think it's a big deal. But...Bossman does. And since he does, it's causing a great deal of tension in our relationship right now.

Listen, he's not a bad guy for feeling this way. Seriously, before cancer, my boobs were only seen once a year by a doc. It was quick and painless and we didn't really discuss it. Now he has to face the fact that lots of people get to see my boobs and some get to see them on a daily basis. NOT FUN!

I don't think there is any way to get over it. I don't think he will. I don't think I will. Frankly, it's just a part of life and I have to deal with it for a least 5 more weeks.

While we are on the cancer subject, (is there another?) there seems to be a lot of people that I know that have cancer. This is upsetting....of course it is...but here's the kicker....

My cancer is not as bad as theirs. Although this is good news for me, it's also making me feel like I can't complain, or say anything about mine because...

Mine isn't as bad as theirs. Therefore, I cannot relate. Mine is like a cold compared to their swine flu. I am a sore throat from allergies while they are strep throat. It's not like this is a contest. Nobody is keeping score. So why do I feel like my cancer is suddenly, no big deal?

Crazy right?

I mean, lets face it.

I have cancer. Or, let me rephrase that....

I had cancer. Or wait....I think I should say...

I'm in treatment for cancer.

I don't know. Since I had the surgery, I guess this means I don't have cancer...but since I'm doing radiation, I'm still treating cancer and here's a question....

When am I considered a survivor of cancer?

Since I'm here, I guess I'm a survivor, right?

Also, this radiation crap is kicking me in the butt. Or should I say, boob? My left boob feels like a truck ran over it a few times. It's sore and last night I realized I can't lay on that side. UM...since I'm a side sleeper and I only had one side...let's just say a good night sleep was not had by me.

Does this mean I won't get a good night sleep for the next 5 or more weeks? I wasn't prepared for this. I was prepared for dicolored, sunburned looking skin. I was prepared for fatigue. I was not prepared to flinch every time I rub my arm against my boob too hard. I wasn't prepared to flinch when Bossman gave me a hug.

And while I'm in a ranting mood....why is it that everytime someone asks me how I'm doing I feel the need to downplay everything?

People give me the pity look and ask "How are you doing?" And I give a big fat smile and say, "I'm fine." But in my head I'm screaming, "I have cancer, how do you think I feel?"

So, my internal struggles continue. But they happen with a smile on my face.

Seriously though, I'm confused.

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grocery list

2010-04-30T12:20:00.000-07:00

I found this on the failblog site. Apparently this list was found in a parking lot of a store.

I sure hope they got everything on the list!

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