I'd like to thank you all for your advice and comments on my recent anal debacle. I've had Bossman read the post and the comments! He and I both realized that we did just about everything WRONG!
We are planning on trying things YOUR way next time. We've already tried a finger, just quickly, during sex and it wasn't so bad. We are going to get different lube and give it a go when I'm in a better state of mind. If it doesn't work, no biggie, but I'm so fascinated with it, I just have to give it a chance.
The other day we found ourselves home alone. The little man was at football practice and the wildchild was at work. We were watching TV when Bossman decided to pull me over his lap. It was spontaneous and unexpected. He pulled me over his lap, pulled down my jeans and pulled down my panties. He used his hand. While spanking me he was watching one of his shows on the DVR. During the fast-forwarding, he rubbed my butt. After a while, he pulled my panties up, but continued spanking. Although I LOATHE admitting that I actually liked being spanked....this was NICE.
When the program was over, he pulled up my jeans and that was that.
It was so nice. I haven't had a decent spanking in ages. Although we had hopes of starting to have more spanking. We haven't had a chance. We haven't had time alone. We haven't had much alone time. After the spanking he gave the other night....I'm hoping we can find more time for THAT!
Before I go, I'd like to direct you to a new spanking blog. I've been stopping by to read it and WOW, this girl has been reading my mind. Check out this post in the blog called New To Spanking.
Give Eliane some love and leave her a comment!
I hope you all have a lovely weekend. Enjoy this ending of summer. I know that I'll be sitting around enjoying doing a bunch of nothing. This is a good thing, trust me.
What will YOU be doing this weekend?
anal
Like the title? Did it get your attention?
So, we ended up with some time this morning. I wasn't prepared. No, really. I wasn't ready. But he was ready and we DID have time and I have been complaining about NOT having time.
So why wasn't I ready?
It's so freaking frustrating.
Anyway. So we did some things. It started with a spanking. The leather fly-swatter? Nice. The crop? Not-so-nice. The spoon PK gave us? OUCH!
But, like I said...I wasn't in the mood.
So, everything was just off.
Let's continue.
As I recall, there were cuffs involved. Oil was brought out.
And then.....
Then.....
Bossman decided we should try anal. That's right. I said it. Anal.
Now, I know that I said I wanted to try anal. And I do, I mean, I did, I mean....
~sigh~
I don't know what I mean.
I do know that we tried it.
I got really nervous. I was sweating. I got shaky. I got scared.
I tried to relax. I wanted this to work. I wanted to experience it.
It didn't really work out that way.
I got emotional. I thought I was going to cry. My eyes got watery and I couldn't figure out why I was feeling that way. I was trying to hide my feelings from Bossman, I didn't want him to see me break down.
Finally.....
Bossman decided I'd had enough. Remember he couldn't really see how I was reacting, but he knew that it wasn't good.
He brought out our new vibrating egg thingie.
He made it ALL better!
Psst.....
I think I may have squirted.
oooooo000000000ooooooooooo
Yes, the ending was nice. But I was feeling very emotional after everything. I felt like I had let myself down and more importantly, I felt like I had let Bossman down. After we were done we took a shower together and tried to talk about it. Bossman wasn't upset at all. He said it was a good try and we can try again sometime. I just felt the need to have him hold me. The shower was nice and I felt better when we had finished up.
But now, now that I'm home alone and thinking it all through, I can't help but feel like I somehow failed the whole thing. Here, I've been complaining that we haven't had time to try new things, but when the time finally came, I couldn't get in the right mood. The spanking was off, the anal was REALLY off, the whole thing was off. I can't help but feel disappointed in myself.
I can think of all kinds of reasons of why it wasn't good. I can say that the positions weren't right, the timing wasn't right, the light was in my eyes, and the sky was blue. I could tell you that the birds outside the window were too loud, I was thirsty and my pillow wasn't fluffed just right.
But in reality, none of those things matter. Nothing can ever be perfect, so why was it such a let down? Did I expect too much? Was I topping from the bottom...in my mind?
I don't know that I can answer any of my questions and I'm pretty sure you can't either, but it gives me something to ponder....
So, while I'm pondering my shortcomings and failures, tell me, who wants to give me some anal advice? Any words of wisdom to share? Tips, tricks? Things that may have worked for you? What's the key to the magical world of anal and how do I become a full-fledged member of the anal club?
Please help an anal challenged girl. I can use all the help I can get!
So, we ended up with some time this morning. I wasn't prepared. No, really. I wasn't ready. But he was ready and we DID have time and I have been complaining about NOT having time.
So why wasn't I ready?
It's so freaking frustrating.
Anyway. So we did some things. It started with a spanking. The leather fly-swatter? Nice. The crop? Not-so-nice. The spoon PK gave us? OUCH!
But, like I said...I wasn't in the mood.
So, everything was just off.
Let's continue.
As I recall, there were cuffs involved. Oil was brought out.
And then.....
Then.....
Bossman decided we should try anal. That's right. I said it. Anal.
Now, I know that I said I wanted to try anal. And I do, I mean, I did, I mean....
~sigh~
I don't know what I mean.
I do know that we tried it.
I got really nervous. I was sweating. I got shaky. I got scared.
I tried to relax. I wanted this to work. I wanted to experience it.
It didn't really work out that way.
I got emotional. I thought I was going to cry. My eyes got watery and I couldn't figure out why I was feeling that way. I was trying to hide my feelings from Bossman, I didn't want him to see me break down.
Finally.....
Bossman decided I'd had enough. Remember he couldn't really see how I was reacting, but he knew that it wasn't good.
He brought out our new vibrating egg thingie.
He made it ALL better!
Psst.....
I think I may have squirted.
oooooo000000000ooooooooooo
Yes, the ending was nice. But I was feeling very emotional after everything. I felt like I had let myself down and more importantly, I felt like I had let Bossman down. After we were done we took a shower together and tried to talk about it. Bossman wasn't upset at all. He said it was a good try and we can try again sometime. I just felt the need to have him hold me. The shower was nice and I felt better when we had finished up.
But now, now that I'm home alone and thinking it all through, I can't help but feel like I somehow failed the whole thing. Here, I've been complaining that we haven't had time to try new things, but when the time finally came, I couldn't get in the right mood. The spanking was off, the anal was REALLY off, the whole thing was off. I can't help but feel disappointed in myself.
I can think of all kinds of reasons of why it wasn't good. I can say that the positions weren't right, the timing wasn't right, the light was in my eyes, and the sky was blue. I could tell you that the birds outside the window were too loud, I was thirsty and my pillow wasn't fluffed just right.
But in reality, none of those things matter. Nothing can ever be perfect, so why was it such a let down? Did I expect too much? Was I topping from the bottom...in my mind?
I don't know that I can answer any of my questions and I'm pretty sure you can't either, but it gives me something to ponder....
So, while I'm pondering my shortcomings and failures, tell me, who wants to give me some anal advice? Any words of wisdom to share? Tips, tricks? Things that may have worked for you? What's the key to the magical world of anal and how do I become a full-fledged member of the anal club?
Please help an anal challenged girl. I can use all the help I can get!
HOORAY for SCHOOL!
Today is the first day of school. It's weird to only be sending one out the door.
I'll be doing the happy dance all day long.
Don't worry. I'll warm up first. I'll stretch and all that stuff. And THEN, I'll do the happy dance.
ALL
DAY
LONG!
Well, only until 1:00. It's a short day today.
BYE!
I'll be doing the happy dance all day long.
Don't worry. I'll warm up first. I'll stretch and all that stuff. And THEN, I'll do the happy dance.
ALL
DAY
LONG!
Well, only until 1:00. It's a short day today.
BYE!
Everything is going good
Bossman is healing nicely. He's gotten rid of all the head wraps and doesn't have to have any bandage at all. He can wear a baseball cap and you can't even see it.
School shopping is happening this weekend! School starts on Wednesday! Party at my house! I am so excited for school. I get excited when summer starts, but after 2 months of not much time alone...I'm ready for it to start again!!
I hear the twins are having fun. I'm not happy about this. Can you believe they had the NERVE to send me a picture of them in the pool? Lounging, no less! I'd suggest spanking them, but that would just lead to more fun!
I guess you can tell, nothing much is happening around here. If something exciting should happen, you will be the first to know.
Until then, have a great weekend!
Better yet, make mine more exciting, tell me all your exciting stories. Just don't mention the twins to me. THAT will just make me cranky!
School shopping is happening this weekend! School starts on Wednesday! Party at my house! I am so excited for school. I get excited when summer starts, but after 2 months of not much time alone...I'm ready for it to start again!!
I hear the twins are having fun. I'm not happy about this. Can you believe they had the NERVE to send me a picture of them in the pool? Lounging, no less! I'd suggest spanking them, but that would just lead to more fun!
I guess you can tell, nothing much is happening around here. If something exciting should happen, you will be the first to know.
Until then, have a great weekend!
Better yet, make mine more exciting, tell me all your exciting stories. Just don't mention the twins to me. THAT will just make me cranky!
waiting is the worst!
Surgery went fine. We are calling him Mohammad today, for his head wrap is very big and looks like a turban. He teasingly called D and told him that he was turning muslim, like his mother so she better watch out. She got quite a laugh out of that!
Don't you hate the waiting? I HATE waiting! It took 2 hours before they took him in and then I had to wait an hour for the surgery to be over. I KNOW, one hour is nothing, but when it's your soul mate, it's an eternity! I perused the 2 year old magazines and then decided to give Eva and Pk a call. No, they aren't together yet, but I had to call them both just to give them a hard time about meeting without me. They both succeeded in making the waiting time a lot less. They were wonderful at occupying my mind with good thoughts of our next meeting. We don't know when that will happen, but it WILL happen!
I know, this post is boring so if you would like to read something more entertaining head over to LA Kink. Bossman wrote up a post last night and I've just posted it. So go by and show Bossman some love.
Oh and don't scare him away, OK? THANKS!
Don't you hate the waiting? I HATE waiting! It took 2 hours before they took him in and then I had to wait an hour for the surgery to be over. I KNOW, one hour is nothing, but when it's your soul mate, it's an eternity! I perused the 2 year old magazines and then decided to give Eva and Pk a call. No, they aren't together yet, but I had to call them both just to give them a hard time about meeting without me. They both succeeded in making the waiting time a lot less. They were wonderful at occupying my mind with good thoughts of our next meeting. We don't know when that will happen, but it WILL happen!
I know, this post is boring so if you would like to read something more entertaining head over to LA Kink. Bossman wrote up a post last night and I've just posted it. So go by and show Bossman some love.
Oh and don't scare him away, OK? THANKS!
life is always in the way
As I mentioned in my last post, football season has started. The little man, well, he's not so little anymore. He's one of the biggest on the team and the boy can PLAY this year! So far, he's looking like the one to be afraid of. I know I wouldn't want to be hit by him!
The good news is, Bossman is NOT coaching this year. We've had quite enough of THAT, thank you very much! Bossman did the best he could, as a coach, but he had never coached before, and it was just not fun. This year, he and I are sitting on the sidelines, enjoying watching our son play ball. It's a lot more fun!
Tomorrow Bossman is going in for a minor surgery. He has a bump on his forehead. It's been getting bigger and bigger and so he finally went to the doctor. Turns out it's a fatty tumor, which is called a lipoma. The doc says he has a better chance of dying in a car accident than having it be cancer, so we are grateful for that. He does need to have it removed though.
The worst part of this is just wondering how bad it will be. Is it going to be a big cut, is it going to be a small cut? Will there be a scar? It is right on his forehead and unlike me, he doesn't have enough hair to cover it.
I guess we will find out tomorrow.
Our toys are sitting on the shelf staring at me. A couple of them are still in the packaging. They are crying out to be used! I feel so bad for them. HECK, I feel bad for ME! A week from tomorrow school starts! I'm hoping this means more time with no kids in the house. I'm hoping this means some of those toys can quit staring at me! I'm hoping!
So, that's my life right now. How's your life going?
The good news is, Bossman is NOT coaching this year. We've had quite enough of THAT, thank you very much! Bossman did the best he could, as a coach, but he had never coached before, and it was just not fun. This year, he and I are sitting on the sidelines, enjoying watching our son play ball. It's a lot more fun!
Tomorrow Bossman is going in for a minor surgery. He has a bump on his forehead. It's been getting bigger and bigger and so he finally went to the doctor. Turns out it's a fatty tumor, which is called a lipoma. The doc says he has a better chance of dying in a car accident than having it be cancer, so we are grateful for that. He does need to have it removed though.
The worst part of this is just wondering how bad it will be. Is it going to be a big cut, is it going to be a small cut? Will there be a scar? It is right on his forehead and unlike me, he doesn't have enough hair to cover it.
I guess we will find out tomorrow.
Our toys are sitting on the shelf staring at me. A couple of them are still in the packaging. They are crying out to be used! I feel so bad for them. HECK, I feel bad for ME! A week from tomorrow school starts! I'm hoping this means more time with no kids in the house. I'm hoping this means some of those toys can quit staring at me! I'm hoping!
So, that's my life right now. How's your life going?
Answers
I've lost my writing mojo for the moment. This hasn't been the best week. Things have been hectic and busy and crazy.
I will update you on a couple of things happening in our lives.
The little man's neck is doing WAY better. Part of the chaos in my life has to do with football. Football started this week. That means that every.single.day there is football practice. Every.single.day! But he is doing fine and his neck is back to normal.
D had to have an upper and lower GI this week to determine if the cancer was spreading. The tumor, itself, has shrunk, but the blood count numbers went up. Good news is, other than a hernia, they found nothing else! Really good news! She will be heading to LA for treatment of the tumor next week.
The MIL is making our lives STRESSFUL! We haven't spoke to her for a while, but she's sent nasty e-mails to D, calling me dreadful names, and calling D dreadful names, as well. I'm stressed out, and I don't even have a tumor on my liver....it has been even harder on D. None of us can speak to the MIL. The one good thing? The MIL said in the e-mail that she didn't want to speak to me ever again. I think I'll print that out and keep in in my wallet. That way, if she tries to talk to me, I can just whip it out and shove it in her face!
~sigh~
We haven't been able to try most of our toys. I'm very frustrated at this, but between life and my period, well, there just hasn't been a good time for experimenting.
I will admit though, we did try out our Kama Sutra oil. Believe it or not, I suggested giving Bossman a bj. I KNOW! Shocking, right? I just HAD to try the oil! Ceeci was the one that suggested the oil to us. We had others in our hand, but when she told me how fantastic it was, I had to get some. I'm pleased to say, she was CORRECT! This stuff is fantastic. I can tell you that Bossman really, really, really enjoyed it. I will admit that it was a lot better for me too. I'm not willing to admit that I am now a fan of the bj, but I can see how we could work this into our life a little more than we have been. We are anxious to try this oil on other parts of our bodies. This oil is yummy and slippery and...and...well, you'll have to get some for yourself if you want to know more!
I have to admit, I'm having a hard time writing up stuff about our trip to LA. It's not that I can't remember anything, I remember it all very clear. It's just that I can't make my words sound nearly as good as it really was. Everything I write, I end up leaving for later, for I can't adequately describe these people that I met and the places that we went. It's still very surreal for me.
This is what keeps floating through my brain:
First there were just words on a screen. A comment here, an e-mail there.
Words, just words.
Then the words became more personal. A name here, a picture there.
Pictures and names became voices on the phone. Cards on a holiday, packages in the mail.
Is this real, or just a voice in my mind?
After years of words, voices and pictures, a meeting is set.
The day arrives, texts are sent, voices, voices, voices....
Real. They are real, the voices, the pictures, the words....
Flesh and blood...
Real.live.people. Expressions, laughter, eye rolls, hugs....
No need to hide my true self, time to come out of my shell.
Stick my head out, slowly, tentatively.
Safety, no judgment.
Real People.
Real Friends.
I will update you on a couple of things happening in our lives.
The little man's neck is doing WAY better. Part of the chaos in my life has to do with football. Football started this week. That means that every.single.day there is football practice. Every.single.day! But he is doing fine and his neck is back to normal.
D had to have an upper and lower GI this week to determine if the cancer was spreading. The tumor, itself, has shrunk, but the blood count numbers went up. Good news is, other than a hernia, they found nothing else! Really good news! She will be heading to LA for treatment of the tumor next week.
The MIL is making our lives STRESSFUL! We haven't spoke to her for a while, but she's sent nasty e-mails to D, calling me dreadful names, and calling D dreadful names, as well. I'm stressed out, and I don't even have a tumor on my liver....it has been even harder on D. None of us can speak to the MIL. The one good thing? The MIL said in the e-mail that she didn't want to speak to me ever again. I think I'll print that out and keep in in my wallet. That way, if she tries to talk to me, I can just whip it out and shove it in her face!
~sigh~
We haven't been able to try most of our toys. I'm very frustrated at this, but between life and my period, well, there just hasn't been a good time for experimenting.
I will admit though, we did try out our Kama Sutra oil. Believe it or not, I suggested giving Bossman a bj. I KNOW! Shocking, right? I just HAD to try the oil! Ceeci was the one that suggested the oil to us. We had others in our hand, but when she told me how fantastic it was, I had to get some. I'm pleased to say, she was CORRECT! This stuff is fantastic. I can tell you that Bossman really, really, really enjoyed it. I will admit that it was a lot better for me too. I'm not willing to admit that I am now a fan of the bj, but I can see how we could work this into our life a little more than we have been. We are anxious to try this oil on other parts of our bodies. This oil is yummy and slippery and...and...well, you'll have to get some for yourself if you want to know more!
I have to admit, I'm having a hard time writing up stuff about our trip to LA. It's not that I can't remember anything, I remember it all very clear. It's just that I can't make my words sound nearly as good as it really was. Everything I write, I end up leaving for later, for I can't adequately describe these people that I met and the places that we went. It's still very surreal for me.
This is what keeps floating through my brain:
First there were just words on a screen. A comment here, an e-mail there.
Words, just words.
Then the words became more personal. A name here, a picture there.
Pictures and names became voices on the phone. Cards on a holiday, packages in the mail.
Is this real, or just a voice in my mind?
After years of words, voices and pictures, a meeting is set.
The day arrives, texts are sent, voices, voices, voices....
Real. They are real, the voices, the pictures, the words....
Flesh and blood...
Real.live.people. Expressions, laughter, eye rolls, hugs....
No need to hide my true self, time to come out of my shell.
Stick my head out, slowly, tentatively.
Safety, no judgment.
Real People.
Real Friends.
Why
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. (Since NONE of my friends are normal...I might just have a chance with this one!)
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. (Since NONE of my friends are normal...I might just have a chance with this one!)
The talk
Our house is about 3 hours away from where we stayed with the girls, down in LA. We had a lot of time to talk during the car ride home.
First we talked about our trip. I won't tell you too much about that, for it deserves to be posted on LA Kink. Needless to say, we had a LOT to say about our trip, and it was all GOOD!
About half way through our trip, we started talking about domestic discipline. I had talked a little about Cassie and how it seemed to me that she and Tom and a pretty traditional d/d relationship. Bossman wanted to know what I meant by that. What makes their relationship different than ours. I gave a few examples and he didn't get it. He said it sounded like a dictatorship. I, on the other hand, don't see it as such, at all. But I was having a hard time explaining it to HIM.
See, we may have been at this for a long time, but in reality, we still don't get it.
Anyway, I was trying to explain myself, when I remembered a post from dwcmikes. I can't link just the one post, so scroll down to July 19th, if you care to read the article (and comment that I made to it.) Also July 24 gives Mikes response to some of the comments (including mine). If you want to go directly to his blog, his link is on my sidebar under spanked hubby.
One of the main questions that caught my attention in the article is this:
How can you spank a person as discipline, if they enjoy being spanked?
So while explaining myself to Bossman, I remembered this question and when I asked Bossman the question, he wanted to know the answer himself. So, I told him MY answer, the one I gave in the comments. My answer was this:
I want to be spanked and I want it to be for a reason. Otherwise, it's kinky, and lord knows I don't want to be considered kinky.
The reality is, I like spanking and I get turned on by spanking. Saying it's for discipline makes it seem better. Makes it seem not so weird. Justifies it, in my mind.
So, as much as I'd love to say that I get spanked for discipline, if I want to be true to myself, I'd have to say that I'm spanked because I like it.
Fantasy, reality, sometimes it's hard to separate the two.
Generally, this is how I feel about the whole thing. I want to be spanked. I think I want it to be for a reason, but do I want to be that submissive? Do I want to listen to everything he says and be punished if I don't? That's a very good question, one that I can't answer.
So, after coming to that conclusion, Bossman made a couple of suggestions. Nothing drastic, but we are going to try and implement more d/d into our life.
He's going to make a greater effort in spanking me when he knows I deserve it and he's going to try and make it count. (meaning, it's gonna HURT) We are not going to make rules or stuff of that nature. We already know that doesn't work for us. But there are certain things in our life that I could do a better job at. There are things that annoy him that I need to be more aware of. (walking ahead of him at the store, leaving him behind)
So we are going to try it. I hate even saying it, for it seems we've been down this road before, and we never quite get the hang of it.
But, I'm willing to try. I so want this to work.
Could it be that what I want to be and what I am, are two different things? If that's the case, how do you change the way you are...the way you have always been? If you do change, does that change who you really are? Are you being true to yourself? Which you is the "real" you? How do you know for sure who the real you is?
I guess I just have to see what works and go from there.....
Wish us luck!
First we talked about our trip. I won't tell you too much about that, for it deserves to be posted on LA Kink. Needless to say, we had a LOT to say about our trip, and it was all GOOD!
About half way through our trip, we started talking about domestic discipline. I had talked a little about Cassie and how it seemed to me that she and Tom and a pretty traditional d/d relationship. Bossman wanted to know what I meant by that. What makes their relationship different than ours. I gave a few examples and he didn't get it. He said it sounded like a dictatorship. I, on the other hand, don't see it as such, at all. But I was having a hard time explaining it to HIM.
See, we may have been at this for a long time, but in reality, we still don't get it.
Anyway, I was trying to explain myself, when I remembered a post from dwcmikes. I can't link just the one post, so scroll down to July 19th, if you care to read the article (and comment that I made to it.) Also July 24 gives Mikes response to some of the comments (including mine). If you want to go directly to his blog, his link is on my sidebar under spanked hubby.
One of the main questions that caught my attention in the article is this:
How can you spank a person as discipline, if they enjoy being spanked?
So while explaining myself to Bossman, I remembered this question and when I asked Bossman the question, he wanted to know the answer himself. So, I told him MY answer, the one I gave in the comments. My answer was this:
I want to be spanked and I want it to be for a reason. Otherwise, it's kinky, and lord knows I don't want to be considered kinky.
The reality is, I like spanking and I get turned on by spanking. Saying it's for discipline makes it seem better. Makes it seem not so weird. Justifies it, in my mind.
So, as much as I'd love to say that I get spanked for discipline, if I want to be true to myself, I'd have to say that I'm spanked because I like it.
Fantasy, reality, sometimes it's hard to separate the two.
Generally, this is how I feel about the whole thing. I want to be spanked. I think I want it to be for a reason, but do I want to be that submissive? Do I want to listen to everything he says and be punished if I don't? That's a very good question, one that I can't answer.
So, after coming to that conclusion, Bossman made a couple of suggestions. Nothing drastic, but we are going to try and implement more d/d into our life.
He's going to make a greater effort in spanking me when he knows I deserve it and he's going to try and make it count. (meaning, it's gonna HURT) We are not going to make rules or stuff of that nature. We already know that doesn't work for us. But there are certain things in our life that I could do a better job at. There are things that annoy him that I need to be more aware of. (walking ahead of him at the store, leaving him behind)
So we are going to try it. I hate even saying it, for it seems we've been down this road before, and we never quite get the hang of it.
But, I'm willing to try. I so want this to work.
Could it be that what I want to be and what I am, are two different things? If that's the case, how do you change the way you are...the way you have always been? If you do change, does that change who you really are? Are you being true to yourself? Which you is the "real" you? How do you know for sure who the real you is?
I guess I just have to see what works and go from there.....
Wish us luck!
No fair!
You may recall that last year around this time my daughter had her tonsils out. You also might recall that she and I had to miss the Dodger game due to said tonsil surgery.
You may also recall that a couple of weeks ago we went to the Dodger game and it was hot as HELL and NOT fun, at all.
So it should come as no surprise to you that this time.....
I, again, was not able to go to the game.
I KNOW! How could this have happened? What is it about me and the Dodgers? Do they just not like me? Am I destine to never be able to go to a game?
Yesterday morning I got up and took a shower. Actually, truth be told, Bossman and I were in the shower together....but that is a different story altogether...
When I exited the shower, I heard crying from the little man's room. As any normal mother would, I immediately thought that the kids were having some sort of fuss and that the wildchild had made him cry. As Istormed walked out of my room to yell talk to the kids, the wildchild was coming out of her room to find out what the commotion was about.
I entered the little man's room and he was sobbing on his bed. He said he couldn't move his head. He had a horrible crick in his neck.
What is going on with all of us getting cricks in our necks?
Don't worry, he had no other symptoms so I was pretty sure he just had a bad crick.
Problem was, he really couldn't move his head very well. We tried heat, we tried cold, we tried tiger balm....nothing was helping much. We tried pain reliever, but that wasn't really working either. To top it off, he was being extremely stubborn and refused to get out of bed.
After a couple of hours, Bossman and Ithreatened convinced him to get out of bed and take a shower. After the shower, he realized that he could still move somewhat, but it was still quite painful.
Bossman had to take him to a mandatory weigh-in for football. We decided we would see how it went going to that, and if he felt like he could go to the Dodger game we would leave after that.
He made it through the weigh in but he was in no shape to go to the game. After much scrambling, Bossman ended up taking his father to the game and the wildchild got to take a friend.
I got to stay home with the little man.
Of course, THEY had a great time.
The little man and I rented a movie and then we watch the game on TV.
Me + Dodgers = YUCK!
The good news? I wrote up the post on the "talk". I'll post it tomorrow.
If you'd like to read about what Bossman and I bought in the toy store in LA....go to LA Kink...I just posted it.
Oh, and for the record, the little man is doing better today, it has loosened up somewhat, but it's still sore and stiff. Tomorrow is the start of football, I have a feeling the little man will be on the sidelines for a couple of days!
You may also recall that a couple of weeks ago we went to the Dodger game and it was hot as HELL and NOT fun, at all.
So it should come as no surprise to you that this time.....
I, again, was not able to go to the game.
I KNOW! How could this have happened? What is it about me and the Dodgers? Do they just not like me? Am I destine to never be able to go to a game?
Yesterday morning I got up and took a shower. Actually, truth be told, Bossman and I were in the shower together....but that is a different story altogether...
When I exited the shower, I heard crying from the little man's room. As any normal mother would, I immediately thought that the kids were having some sort of fuss and that the wildchild had made him cry. As I
I entered the little man's room and he was sobbing on his bed. He said he couldn't move his head. He had a horrible crick in his neck.
What is going on with all of us getting cricks in our necks?
Don't worry, he had no other symptoms so I was pretty sure he just had a bad crick.
Problem was, he really couldn't move his head very well. We tried heat, we tried cold, we tried tiger balm....nothing was helping much. We tried pain reliever, but that wasn't really working either. To top it off, he was being extremely stubborn and refused to get out of bed.
After a couple of hours, Bossman and I
Bossman had to take him to a mandatory weigh-in for football. We decided we would see how it went going to that, and if he felt like he could go to the Dodger game we would leave after that.
He made it through the weigh in but he was in no shape to go to the game. After much scrambling, Bossman ended up taking his father to the game and the wildchild got to take a friend.
I got to stay home with the little man.
Of course, THEY had a great time.
The little man and I rented a movie and then we watch the game on TV.
Me + Dodgers = YUCK!
The good news? I wrote up the post on the "talk". I'll post it tomorrow.
If you'd like to read about what Bossman and I bought in the toy store in LA....go to LA Kink...I just posted it.
Oh, and for the record, the little man is doing better today, it has loosened up somewhat, but it's still sore and stiff. Tomorrow is the start of football, I have a feeling the little man will be on the sidelines for a couple of days!
Nite, nite puppies.....
Enjoy the show while I'm out of town! Tune in on Monday when we'll talk about the "talk" Bossman and I had on the ride home from meeting all the girls!
Guess what?
We are heading back to LA this weekend!
Bossman got us some more Dodger tickets. Don't worry, it's a night game, so I know it won't be unbearably hot.
It won't be the same with the girls (and boys). I will pass some of the places we went together. I'll remember fondly the fun we had just one week ago.
Try and stay out of trouble while I'm away. I promise I'll have more posts about the weekend next week. Until then, keep visiting LA Kink while I'm gone. I'm sure there will be stories from the other girls. I can't promise they will tell the truth, but I'll set you all straight as soon as I get back!
Until then....have a great weekend!
Bossman got us some more Dodger tickets. Don't worry, it's a night game, so I know it won't be unbearably hot.
It won't be the same with the girls (and boys). I will pass some of the places we went together. I'll remember fondly the fun we had just one week ago.
Try and stay out of trouble while I'm away. I promise I'll have more posts about the weekend next week. Until then, keep visiting LA Kink while I'm gone. I'm sure there will be stories from the other girls. I can't promise they will tell the truth, but I'll set you all straight as soon as I get back!
Until then....have a great weekend!
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