Why not me?

I was laying all cozy in my bed this morning. The little man and Bossman had just headed out the door and the wildchild was at a friends house. I snuggled back under the covers, warm and toasty, just thinking about the day ahead and all I wanted to watch on the dvr accomplish.

The phone rang and from the caller ID I could see it was my SIL, D. I picked up the phone, ready to shoot the breeze.

Yeah, I wish. She was calling to tell me that she was being rushed to the hospital with a 103 degree fever. ~sigh~

This has been a rough couple of months for D. She has been in and out of the hospital more times than I care to remember. She almost died in Oct when they couldn't find the blockage in her liver and she turned as yellow as an Easter Egg. The finally found the blockage and were able to save her in the nick of time.

Then she came home from Houston and got a blood infection. That landed her in the hospital for more than 2 weeks.

Then....just last week...she had an allergic reaction to the chemo, that she's already had 8 treatments of....and she could have died.

Now this.

After I hung up the phone with her, I spent some time thinking. I began to think the question that we've all asked ourselves. Why do bad things happen to good people?

Why isn't this happening to someone like Charlie Manson? Why not the guy that just killed the 4 officers in Washington? Why not the people that committed murder and are waiting on death row?

And...why not me? (no, I haven't committed murder, but I HAVE thought about it!)

Why am I being spared? Why do I get to cuddle up in my nice warm bed, in my nice cozy house, with my nice healthy children and husband?

I've decided it's simply the luck of the draw. We don't know why it happens and we don't know when it will happen to us. Every ache and pain I have...it's cancer. I just know it's cancer. It's bound to be cancer one of these days....right?

All I know for sure is this. I am DAMN lucky. Today I'm lucky. Today I am healthy. I'm fed, I'm clothed and I am warm. (except my feet, which are never, ever warm.)

Are you lucky today? I hope so.

And, if you don't mind, could you send some good thoughts D's way today? Thanks!

those crazy teens

Thanksgiving was a success! By success, I mean, no mus*lim, the turkey didn't burn and enough leftovers for today! Plus, we didn't kill each other, we had a great time together without fussing! YAY us!

Usually we do the Black Friday thing. Bossman and I went and got a paper so we could look at all the ads. Yes, I looked them all up online, but there is something about seeing it on paper that makes it easier for me. We looked through all the ads and we just weren't impressed. There didn't seem to be much that we needed bad enough to get up super early. Then, the wildchild called.

She left about 8pm to go to a friends. Hey, we had her for the whole day, so I wasn't going to complain. She called a few hours later and said she was going to spend the night. She told me she and her friend were going to go to Wal-mart around 3am, just to see who was there and how many people were there. I told Bossman her plan and he called her back. He told her if she was going to do that, could she just stay there and get some stuff that we saw in the ad. Of course, being the crazy teen she is, she was more than happy to do that.

She came home and got the list and the money. At 6am I heard her come in the door. I got up to see if she was successful.....

YAY! She pulled an all-nighter but she and her friend got everything on the list! Including a blu-ray player for 78 bucks! Also a sweet leather computer chair for 35!

Apparently they had quite the experience! Loads of people and not much moving space, but they made it a mission to get everything we asked for. We told them they didn't have to go and if they couldn't get everything, it was ok, but they were determined. She tells me they made quite the team. One would wait in line while the other pushed and shoved their way through the crowd to get the items on the list.

I guess that's the benefit of having a crazy teen!

So, how was your Thanksgiving and did you get any great deals on Black Friday?

Grateful

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about it. I have tried all week to put it aside and not even worry about it. But in the back of my head it's always there....and I can't help but think about it.

Back in 2006, on Thanksgiving day, I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. Since that day...I've never been quite the same.

If your new here and would like to read about it....the story is here.

You just don't forget things like that. Fortunately, I got better. So why can't I stop thinking about it? Sure, the anniversary of such an event would make you think about it more, but I think about it at other times. I have fears that something like that could happen again. I have fears that something horrible will happen to me in public. Heartattack or something similar. I worry about things happening to me when we go on car trips. I don't worry about car accidents, I worry about me getting sick. Sometimes, I think it hinders me from enjoying life. I haven't cancelled anything yet because of it...but I think about it. I see things on TV and I think...wow, I could never do that. My son went on a field trip last week and had a two hour bus ride with no bath room stops. I was thinking about how I could never have done that.

I've been trying to work through it. I see how irrational it is. I can do things. I do things all the time. I've managed. I've taken car rides all the way to Vegas and although we made lots of potty stops...nothing bad happened!

I don't know why I'm so obsessive about this. I do know that I'm trying to stop. I'm trying very hard to push those thought aside and enjoy life.

One thing I know for sure....it's the night before Thanksgiving and I feel fine. I don't think I'll need to make a trip to the ER. Hopefully! Everyone at my house is fine.

So, I don't know about you, but I'm pretty darn thankful for my health. I'm thankful for the health of Bossman and the kids. Although D has had a really rough month, she is doing OK now...so I'm grateful she is still alive for another Thanksgiving. Although she can't be with us tomorrow, she will try and come for Christmas.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving. Enjoy your family. Enjoy your health.

Just enjoy!

painting and stuff

I suppose I should point out that the controversy I was alluding to in my other post was not something that had to do with our community. I enjoy reading the mommy blogs....I AM still a mommy....and there was a lot of drama there. I should have made myself a little clearer on that. The drama has long since past. I guess I just wrote it to let off some steam and to let everyone know why I hadn't been blogging. I got burnt out on the whole thing. I was tired of the crap and since I was already feeling down, blogging just made it seem worse. I am happy to report that I am feeling much better. I'm not sure when I'll quit allowing blogging drama to upset me so much...but maybe someday I will learn. In any case, I am sorry if you thought for a minute I was talking to any of YOU! And by you, I mean, all of you that commented or lurked. Soooooo.........

*brisk clap clap*

Moving on....

Thanksgiving will be a quiet affair around grace*land. There will just be the four of us, with the possibility of a boyfriend (not mine..LOL) joining us. We shall begin getting out the christmas decorations and watch movies and watch lots and lots of football. Football is not my favorite, but it's just not Thanksgiving without it droning on in the background.

We are super excited about decorating for christmas this year. Our new house has plenty of yard for decorating. Our old house was small and no room. We have stuff that we haven't been able to use because we haven't had room. It will be wonderful!

In other decorating news, I finally got motivated enough to start painting. My bedroom is pretty much finished, but we did just buy some crown moulding to put around the top. BUT, it looks marvelous and if I ever remember to take a picture during the day (why the heck is it getting dark at 4:30?) I'll post some before and afters. I am quite proud of it. It's the first time we've lived in a house where we could have walls any color. NO more white walls! Unfortunately, the people that lived here before us adored the colors peach and aqua.

Um, yeah. The living room, kitchen combo is aqua from head to toe! The ceilings are tall and it's a whole lotta aqua going on in there. Did I mention the carpet matches? It's a lot like living in a fish tank. I feel like swimming in there. As a matter of fact, now that I just typed that, I realized it's like the color of the inside of a pool. Thank goodness there is a huge brick fireplace that breaks up the color. I can't wait to start painting it, but the room is HUGE and daunting and I'm considering waiting until after the holidays to make that kind of mess. I'm thinking a nice soft yellowy gold....something like that. I think it will look nice with the carpet and since my sofa is a milk chocolate brown, I think it will be pretty. I will NOT be painting the ceiling that color. That is just TOO much of one color. Had the previous owners NOT painted the ceiling that color, it would probably be fine...

The rest of the house is peach....lots and lots of peach. Floor to ceiling peach. UG! But it's better than white! And now my room is blue with white trim and white ceiling....so at least I don't have to look at the peach anymore.

Seriously, have I bored you enough with all the paint talk? I think I bored myself.

So, I'll just wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. (in case I don't post again this week)

For those of you on the other side of the pond....have a really Happy Thursday!

gift idea

Are you unnoticed in a crowd?






Do you sit unnoticed on the sidelines while others are picked?





Try the latest scarf fashion and you too will be the center of attention..................

um....

I suppose you can already tell that I changed things up a bit in here. I stopped by to see if the place was still standing and I noticed that things got a bit messed up. Seems as if part of my blog just up and vanished.

Rather than try and fix it, I thought it was time for a change. Unfortunately, it's been a really long time since I changed my blog (without help) and of course I screwed it up. I lost all my links! I saved the actual template, but I didn't realize that it wouldn't save my blog list for me. Soooooooo....

I have a lot of them on my laptop, so when I finish being lazy and open the laptop I will be able to input a lot of the links. But some of them I didn't have bookmarked, so if over the next week, you don't see your link and want me to add it...please, let me know! It really isn't an oversight, it's just incompetence on my part.

I don't really know if this means I'll be back more regularly. I actually got a little tired of the blogging world and stepped out of it for awhile. Truth be told, I still lurked around, but I just got a little sick of some of the people I see on all the blogs. I found if you lurk around long enough, you will find people in other parts of the blogsphere. People you don't expect to find. People you didn't think you would find on certain type of blogs. And, if you read the comments, you find these people saying things that they probably wouldn't say on "other" blogs....if you know what I mean.

And as a result, I found some people that seemed a little two faced. I don't mean that they were two different people...goodness knows we've been through that enough times. No, what I mean is that the comments they make to one person, can be totally different than comments they make to another.

Yes, yes, It's the same ole' thing...you can't trust people on the internet and people can say whatever they want. I get it. I just don't have to like it. I don't think it's nice to talk about others behind their back because you don't think they will ever see what you have written. I think it's the cowards way out of things. Don't get me wrong...I'm not talking about actual blogs. I think we can write whatever we want on our own blog. I'm talking about comments. I don't like it when people get bashed in someone elses comments and have no recourse. They don't have a chance to defend themselves. Sure, what we don't know won't hurt us... but seriously? What if they do see it? Or what if someone tells them? And since I saw it...then I know how truly awful you are. Although the blogsphere seems really small....it's NOT! It's huge and you don't know what blogs I read, anymore than I know what blogs YOU read. All I know is this....I saw what someone wrote and I lost all respect. Because if this person can write what they did about someone else...god knows what they are writing about me!

Ok...I'll get off my soap box. I'm not even sure why I felt the need to write this. I'm not trying to cause drama. Besides, this happened a while ago and now that I've been away for awhile I realize I don't need that kind of stuff in my life. I've got much bigger things to worry about. But I know I'll see this person on blogs that I read and I will have to grin and bare it...because if I say something...that will open a big ole' can of worms....and I'm not about to go there. I'd rather hide in my shell...thank you very much!

So, in other, and much more exciting news, spanking has resumed in graceland! Last week was a stellar week of spanking and sex. We have a nice ottoman in our living room and it's now loving referred to as the fucking stool. Feel free to use your imagination! Of course we can't call it that in front of the children. My daughter would be horrified.

As it is, I had to have a discussion about "women" things with my daughter. She's never had the "exam" and she's up for one tomorrow. As I was telling her things, I was telling her about my female health issues and mentioned something about it being hard to have sex when certain things were happening to me and she told me that she threw-up a little in her mouth while I was talking...LOL Apparently she doesn't want to contemplate the thought of me and her father doing the nasty...I don't know why not! It's how she was made...LOL

I feel myself getting some pep back. Maybe this means I'll find more things to write about.....

Or not...