Death and chaos

I wrote this post about a week and a half ago.  It’s long and rambling...a lot like my life right now.  This year, but mostly this month has been hell.  I hope 2020 will get better.  I hope!

I had every intention of blogging about TTWD.  I promise, I did!  But then the last couple of weeks happened and it felt like life sort of fell apart around me.

Bossmans parents have been going downhill very quickly.  His mother, she’s been a bit of a nut job since I met her, 30 plus years ago.  But the last couple of years she has been slowly having bits of dementia.  She hates all docs, so that’s not an option, but we can see it.

His father has had heart problems since 2000.  He got a pacemaker in Dec. of 2017.  Then, about April, they said one of the leads was off and needed to be fixed.  But because his mother hates docs, she didn’t want him to go, and he didn’t.  There is more to the story, including conspiracy theories, but I don’t have time to get into all the that.  Needless to say, without getting the pacemaker fixed, he started having problems.  In June, he had to go on disability.  At 72, he should have probably retired but nobody blamed him for not wanting to be home with HER, all day.  So, going on disability was super hard for him.  But he was having a hard time walking and it was time.  In the beginning of August, he ended up in the hospital.  We thought he would get his pacemaker fixed, finally, and mother would have nothing to say about it.  But sadly, his kidneys were in bad shape because he was taking diuretics for fluid buildup.  Because his kidneys were bad, they couldn’t fix the pacemaker because they use dye for that and the kidneys wouldn’t be able to handle the dye.  They sent him home.  Anytime we talked to him about doctors, my MIL would get so upset.  She would freak out.  When he was in the hospital, she was a nightmare.  She couldn’t stay home alone because she was too scared to be home alone at night, but she was getting lost in the hospital and the nurses told us she couldn’t stay with him.  Sadly, he never got much help from docs after that and he slowly got worse and worse. We felt helpless.

Fast forward to last week.  Bossman gets a call from his mom saying his dad can’t get off the toilet.  Bossman heads over there, it’s a Friday night.  His dads legs are jello.  He can’t hold him up and ends up lowering him to the ground.  He sits back to back with his dad to prop him up and calls for help.  The paramedics arrive and his mother is screaming not to take him, he’s getting better, he’ll be fine.  She won’t let them in the house.  They finally get in and take him to the hospital.  Bossman spends 4 hours in the hospital ER with his dad.  His mom calls screaming at this dad on the phone that he didn’t come home immediately, he didn’t love her anymore.  Bossman tells everyone he can that his dad can’t go home, his mom can’t take care of him.  Next day, a social worker calls Bossman and everything.  But...they send him home.  They SENT HIM HOME!!!  Bossman was devastated.  Of course that night, she called again to say he couldn’t get off the toilet and it was just a mental thing...a MENTAL thing!!!!  Bossman told her to call 911.  She said no again...so he hung up on her.  This was Saturday.  She refused to answer the phone after that.  Bossman called during the week and nothing.  Then Thursday.  I was a the hospital all day with my sister in law...a story for a different day...and when I get home we are eating dinner when the phone rings.  The caller ID is his parents, so Bossman picks up the phone and...it’s the paramedics.  Sadly, his dad passed away.  They were still at the house.  Of course, we were very upset.  Bossman couldn’t talk to his mom.  He just couldn’t.  The next day he had to call his mom and now we have been dealing with everything.

I’m adding this on to the post a week and a half later... We’ve had the memorial, it was perfect.  My husband was happy with it and felt we honored his father so that is all I can ask for.  We are now dealing with his mother, trying to help her get life insurance payment and such.  They were terrible with their money and he didn’t leave her a big policy.  She is hard to deal with and has the onset of dementia so...this is fun!  Bossman sister is trying to get as much money as she can from all of us and we have had to block her from our life and it’s making things even more difficult.

This is where we stand now.
Please send prayers or good thoughts or whatever you believe in!
grace