Have you ever had one of those days? Well, I'm having one of those weeks! Thank goodness it's over!
Just so you know, I had this whole post typed and ready to be posted yesterday. I thought I had scheduled it for midnight. After running around like crazy today, I grabbed my iPad, ready to see any comments I might have. Imagine my disappointment when there were no notifications of new comments in my email. I was so sad!
In a panic I log onto blogger and there is my post. Sitting in the draft file.
So stupid of me!
Anyway, not sure if I missed all the fun, but here is my post for all you lurkers!
I love you all!
Ah, lurkers.
I love the lurker. Mostly I love them because I AM one.
Lurking is easy. You read, you move on to the next one. No muss, no fuss!
As a blogger, I know how wonderful comments can be. They can lift you up, they can bring you down, they can piss you off.
I'm lucky. I get very, very few negative comments. The people willing to comment on this blog are so nice and friendly. Very supportive. An uplifting comment or thought can really lift a persons spirits. They make you realize that even though you may think you are going through something alone, you aren't. Others are going through something similar, or even something worse.
But, I understand not commenting. You might read other comments and think "that's what I was going to say." So you don't comment. You might think that nobody is really interested in what you have to say. (I am!)
Anyway, I appreciate any comment I get. I am grateful that you took the time to leave me a message, even it's just to say Hi.
So, please, take time today and comment. I promise, I'll be nice.
Love you all,
grace
Going crazy!
This past week has been nuts! Bossman and I haven't had time to fight with each other, which is a good thing. We've been getting along rather well which is a nice change of pace. I'm sure when everything dies down we will seek some counseling. I'm pretty sure that is a good idea.
So...first the wildchild and her hubby moved in. Now, we don't really have an extra bedroom, so they moved into the manchilds room because he wasn't due home until thanksgiving. HAHA! Guess who's sleeping on an air mattress in the living room? Hahaha!
The wildchild has been getting headaches and stuff and she went to the eye doctor last week. Turns out, she has a pseudo tumor. Basically she has fluid behind her eyes which is acting like a tumor. Good thing she came back home so mama could take care of her. If she doesn't get it treated she could go blind. She will have a MRI and a spinal tap to rule out anything else, but they are pretty confident that's what it is. They are also confident that treat will keep her vision in tact.
Meanwhile, the manchilds has been calling saying he's not feeling well. Last week his school took him to urgent care. They said it was a virus and he would be fine in a couple of days. Again I say...haha!
On Thursday I called him and he wasn't in class because he still felt like crap. I told him to come home. I took him to the doc the next day and they thought he had an abcessed tonsil. Saturday he was even worse so we took him to urgent care and they gave him a steroid shot. Monday they wanted an ear nose throat doc to see him so we drove an hour away because our insurance is stupid! They said it was tonsillitis. Gave him some more meds! Hopefully he's feeling better tomorrow, or else we have to go back to the doctors.
Today I took the wildchild to the eye doctor. She had to have her pupils dilated. Good news is her vision is fine, but she needs to take care of the fluid.
So they are sleeping in the living room, the manchild probably won't go back to school until Thursday or Friday.
My house is full!
So that's what's going on in my life....how's your life going?
Being nice is hard
It's Saturday! And I'm writing a post. And I've written a post at least once a week for the past few weeks.
These are all reasons to be excited.
BUT, the most important reason to be excited is...
My daughter is moving back to CA.
More importantly, she's moving in to my house for the next couple of months, with her husband, of course.
Her moving back is amazing. I am so excited that she is moving back and she will be around her for the holidays and everything.
I'm not too excited that they are moving in with us for awhile. BUT, I'll take the good with the bad and be happy, happy, happy.
On to other news....
Bossman and I are trying really hard to get along. I hope that her moving in will not make things worse. However, I'd like to point out that it is extremely hard to be nice.
I mean, I'm trying. One night I had a really nice dinner made when Bossman got home. We ate together and talked and it was nice. But the next day I wasn't feeling it. I didn't know what to do to be nice. It was HARD. I just wasn't in the mood.
I felt like if I tried everyday it would get easier, but it was really hard get in the mood. I guess I've just been so unhappy for so long that trying to be nice and happy was hard.
It was eye opening. I'm so used to being mean that it seemed unnatural to be nice. I FORGOT how to be nice.
I'm working on it though. AND, I think he's working on it too.
It's a start.
Did I mention the wildchild is moving back home with her husband? Next week?
Well, she is. In case I forgot to mention it.
Ok, carry on with your weekend. I'll let you know how it goes.
These are all reasons to be excited.
BUT, the most important reason to be excited is...
My daughter is moving back to CA.
More importantly, she's moving in to my house for the next couple of months, with her husband, of course.
Her moving back is amazing. I am so excited that she is moving back and she will be around her for the holidays and everything.
I'm not too excited that they are moving in with us for awhile. BUT, I'll take the good with the bad and be happy, happy, happy.
On to other news....
Bossman and I are trying really hard to get along. I hope that her moving in will not make things worse. However, I'd like to point out that it is extremely hard to be nice.
I mean, I'm trying. One night I had a really nice dinner made when Bossman got home. We ate together and talked and it was nice. But the next day I wasn't feeling it. I didn't know what to do to be nice. It was HARD. I just wasn't in the mood.
I felt like if I tried everyday it would get easier, but it was really hard get in the mood. I guess I've just been so unhappy for so long that trying to be nice and happy was hard.
It was eye opening. I'm so used to being mean that it seemed unnatural to be nice. I FORGOT how to be nice.
I'm working on it though. AND, I think he's working on it too.
It's a start.
Did I mention the wildchild is moving back home with her husband? Next week?
Well, she is. In case I forgot to mention it.
Ok, carry on with your weekend. I'll let you know how it goes.
Be nice
We had a big talk last night and Bossman said we just need to be nice to each other,
Apparently that is the answer. Be nice.
I guess I'm not being nice. Again, I was told that I've given up and I'm not being nice.
So, I need to be nice.
NICE?
Nice!
Nice.
I'm just trying to wrap my brain around that concept because I didn't really think I was being mean. But....I guess I am. I'm a big, big meany.
I did want to clarify the whole walking with him in parking lots.
I usually do. I've gotten a lot better at making sure I don't walk ahead and that I am next to him and I even go so far as to hold his hand...shock!
So this latest parking lot thing was just a, well, it was a misunderstanding.
It was evening, it was crowded by the door when I dropped off the cart. I grabbed the HEAVY bag and made a bee-line to my car. That's it. It wasn't meant to be a slight. It was meant to get to the hell out of the crowd and to my car in the fastest way possible. That's it.
There is so much more that was said last night. Processing it all is hard because after all that I'm just suppose to be nice.
If only it were that easy.
If only.
Apparently that is the answer. Be nice.
I guess I'm not being nice. Again, I was told that I've given up and I'm not being nice.
So, I need to be nice.
NICE?
Nice!
Nice.
I'm just trying to wrap my brain around that concept because I didn't really think I was being mean. But....I guess I am. I'm a big, big meany.
I did want to clarify the whole walking with him in parking lots.
I usually do. I've gotten a lot better at making sure I don't walk ahead and that I am next to him and I even go so far as to hold his hand...shock!
So this latest parking lot thing was just a, well, it was a misunderstanding.
It was evening, it was crowded by the door when I dropped off the cart. I grabbed the HEAVY bag and made a bee-line to my car. That's it. It wasn't meant to be a slight. It was meant to get to the hell out of the crowd and to my car in the fastest way possible. That's it.
There is so much more that was said last night. Processing it all is hard because after all that I'm just suppose to be nice.
If only it were that easy.
If only.
confused life
I feel like things are slowly falling apart in my marriage. Of course every marriage has it's ups and downs, it seems like lately we've had way more downs than ups.
I go though days thinking that things are ok and then I turn around and things aren't good at all. I'm often surprised at the things Bossman says to me as my intentions are never what he thinks they are. Often I try and defend myself and try and tell him that those weren't my intentions at all. This just makes him feel like his feelings are invalid and I should just apologize and not try to defend myself.
This goes against my nature. I guess it's my nature to always be right.
The other day we came out of the grocery store and our car was parked pretty far away. As I walked out of the doors, I made a bee-line for my car. I had about 4 bags of groceries and they weren't light. I really wasn't paying attention to where Bossman was. I was just walking to my car. I though he was right next to me. I was wrong.
Later that night he said that wasn't how people in love act. I should have paid attention to where he was and walked next to him. I honestly couldn't believe this was a big deal. I certainly wasn't purposely trying to walk away from him. I simply was walking to the car thinking he was right behind me. I mean, it was crowded and there were lots of people around, it really wasn't a slight of any kind, but Bossman took it as such. He then went on to say that he feels like I've given up on our relationship and I don't care what happens to him anymore.
That is so far from the truth I don't even know what to say to that.
Of course his feelings matter and of course, I feel bad that he feels that way, but WOW, it just seems so harsh. Honestly, I think he and I feel the same way, because I feel like he doesn't care anymore about our relationship. In my eyes, he has given up. He doesn't initiate anything anymore. I pretty much have to be the one to start anything. I've said something to him about it and he says it's because he fears he will be rejected. He also says he can't tell me anything because I under mind him and I just try and be right all the time.
Lets' be completely honest here. I may not be as submissive at I wish I was, but I certainly don't want to be completely in control of everything. I don't want to be the only one to initiate things. I don't want him to just wait for me to do everything. I don't feel like I'm under minding him, I feel like I'm sticking up for myself and trying to explain my point of view. But then he feels like his feelings are valid.
Our marriage has never been this way. So why does he NOW think that I will reject him? Sure, I don't have the greatest sex drive. BUT, I still like sex. AND...if we are being completely honest, I have NEVER had that great of a sex drive. SO...I feel like I'm the same as I always was. I don't feel like I've changed.
But...he does.
So. What do I do to change things? I'm so confused. I'm hurt. I'm frustrated and I'm tired. I'm tired of going to bed mad and I'm tired of things being fake. Because in the end it feels like we are just pretending that we are getting along, until the next fight.
And the fights are getting closer and closer together. And I just don't know where to go from here. We've talked about counseling but Bossman is really busy at work this time of year and we say we should do it and we don't.
I really don't even want to post this because it sounds horrible and I don't want to admit that any of this is true. But the reality is, I have no where to go. I have no outlet to talk these things out. I don't want to admit it to my friends because I don't want them to get mad at Bossman. I can't talk to my family about it for the same reasons. I don't want anyone to get mad at him because it's not him.
It's me. I seem to be the problem. And I don't know how to fix me.
I go though days thinking that things are ok and then I turn around and things aren't good at all. I'm often surprised at the things Bossman says to me as my intentions are never what he thinks they are. Often I try and defend myself and try and tell him that those weren't my intentions at all. This just makes him feel like his feelings are invalid and I should just apologize and not try to defend myself.
This goes against my nature. I guess it's my nature to always be right.
The other day we came out of the grocery store and our car was parked pretty far away. As I walked out of the doors, I made a bee-line for my car. I had about 4 bags of groceries and they weren't light. I really wasn't paying attention to where Bossman was. I was just walking to my car. I though he was right next to me. I was wrong.
Later that night he said that wasn't how people in love act. I should have paid attention to where he was and walked next to him. I honestly couldn't believe this was a big deal. I certainly wasn't purposely trying to walk away from him. I simply was walking to the car thinking he was right behind me. I mean, it was crowded and there were lots of people around, it really wasn't a slight of any kind, but Bossman took it as such. He then went on to say that he feels like I've given up on our relationship and I don't care what happens to him anymore.
That is so far from the truth I don't even know what to say to that.
Of course his feelings matter and of course, I feel bad that he feels that way, but WOW, it just seems so harsh. Honestly, I think he and I feel the same way, because I feel like he doesn't care anymore about our relationship. In my eyes, he has given up. He doesn't initiate anything anymore. I pretty much have to be the one to start anything. I've said something to him about it and he says it's because he fears he will be rejected. He also says he can't tell me anything because I under mind him and I just try and be right all the time.
Lets' be completely honest here. I may not be as submissive at I wish I was, but I certainly don't want to be completely in control of everything. I don't want to be the only one to initiate things. I don't want him to just wait for me to do everything. I don't feel like I'm under minding him, I feel like I'm sticking up for myself and trying to explain my point of view. But then he feels like his feelings are valid.
Our marriage has never been this way. So why does he NOW think that I will reject him? Sure, I don't have the greatest sex drive. BUT, I still like sex. AND...if we are being completely honest, I have NEVER had that great of a sex drive. SO...I feel like I'm the same as I always was. I don't feel like I've changed.
But...he does.
So. What do I do to change things? I'm so confused. I'm hurt. I'm frustrated and I'm tired. I'm tired of going to bed mad and I'm tired of things being fake. Because in the end it feels like we are just pretending that we are getting along, until the next fight.
And the fights are getting closer and closer together. And I just don't know where to go from here. We've talked about counseling but Bossman is really busy at work this time of year and we say we should do it and we don't.
I really don't even want to post this because it sounds horrible and I don't want to admit that any of this is true. But the reality is, I have no where to go. I have no outlet to talk these things out. I don't want to admit it to my friends because I don't want them to get mad at Bossman. I can't talk to my family about it for the same reasons. I don't want anyone to get mad at him because it's not him.
It's me. I seem to be the problem. And I don't know how to fix me.
Not what it seems
I'm a Facebook person. I love being able see what family and friends are up to. It makes me feel connected to the people that live far away from me. I also enjoy posting pics of my family...or pics of me and Bossman.
One of Bossmans friends commented that he wished his relationship was as good as ours.
Huh.
Last week a friend of mine came over for the afternoon. I've known her since 8th grade. She's single and she's the type of person that will have sex with anyone. But she really would like a serious relationship. She was the maid of honor at my wedding. She is always telling me how lucky I am to have Bossman. She is jealous of our relationship.
I am always surprised when people say that about me and Bossman. It's so interesting to realize that our outward appearance is so much different than our actual relationship. I sometimes wish our relationship was as great as people think it is. I wondered, are we living a lie?
As I was thinking that over I realized that maybe I am not seeing things the right way. MAYBE, our relationship is pretty great and I just don't see it. When I post a pic of us at the beach, we ARE having a good time. We are enjoying each other's company. I AM very lucky to have a husband that loves me and hasn't given up on our relationship.
Every relationship has its ups and downs. I have to remember how lucky I am and I have to appreciate what I realize is something I take for granted.
It's easy to say, harder to remember.
Also hard to remember...things aren't always as they appear.
Life is good
I survived the weekend! My kids were great! The married one is a photographer so she took the young mans senior portraits. I love them! She did a great job! I always love when everyone is home. It just gives me purpose. I need to find my purpose when the kids aren't here. That's been hard for me.
What is our purpose?
In other news...I had my check up at the cancer doc yesterday. I have been going every six months. Everything is still going great! Believe it or not, it's been 5 years. He says if I'm going to get a reoccurrence it would have been in the first 5 years. Well, I could still get a reoccurrence, but the chances are very very slim! Like its 97% I won't! I like those odds!!!
Bossman and I headed to the beach for the sunset last night. It was amazing! I'm no photographer, but seriously, isn't this just lovely? I could have stayed there forever. It's so lovely to just enjoy life.
Bossman and I are hanging in there. I enjoyed all your comments and it gives me great comfort to know we are not alone in our struggle. Nobody likes to feel alone.
Have a great weekend! I'm blogging for the first time from my iPad, so if there are a lot of mistakes...forgive my fumble fingers!
HUGS!
it's complicated
Everyone is coming home this weekend. My daughters best friend is getting married and the bridal shower is this weekend. She was the maid of honor at my daughters wedding. The young man is coming home because we need to get his senior portraits done and my daughter is a photographer, so he needs to come home while she's home. ~sigh~ It's complicated but the end result is everyone will be home!!!! I love that!
Bossman and I are ok. We really had a terrible summer. I mean, the summer with the kids was great, but our relationship SUCKED this summer. Bossman pointed out that we fight more when the kids are home. And I guess he's right, but we aren't fighting about the kids, so I'm not sure why that happens.
Bossman says I've given up. He says that I used to put up with all his stuff, but now I don't put up with stuff anymore so that makes things hard. That sounds weird, like I used to just bow down and do whatever he wants. I wasn't like that, but...
Well, see, it's just complicated.
He also said that I talk down to him. He doesn't feel like he can talk to me because I always try and prove him wrong or make him feel stupid.
Not sure about that one.
So, the point is, I don't know. I don't know the point.
Anyway, good news is we are getting along fine now that the kids are away. We are trying to be nice to each other and trying to do more things together.
It's a start.
I hope you all have a great weekend. I know I will!
I'm back, I hope
I just had a terrible time getting into my blog. I almost had a panic attack! It seems when you've been gone as long as I have and you're as old as I am, you tend to forget pesky little things like passwords and such.
BUT, I'm here, I made it. I'm back. I think.
I don't know. Part of me wants to write and part of me says, "why bother?"
Spanking is not happening, so if you are looking for that, try some of the blogs on my list.
As a matter of fact, things are pretty lousy with me and Bossman. I would like to write about these things, just to sort it all out. But it's the sorting out that makes it hard to write about. That and it's just so HARD to write about things that are upsetting.
So, I'll probably write about it later. Or not. Who knows? I'd like to say I'm going to write it all down, but I don't want to make promises I can't keep. So, we will see.
Oh, don't worry, we aren't separated or anything. It's just.....just....it's just hard.
So, lets talk about happy things! What have you all been up too? I've missed being around. I've lurked a little, but honestly it's hard to get your heart into something when things are hard at home.
Anyway, I'll tell you what I've been up too.
Last we spoke, I was knee-deep in wedding planning. Yep, it happened! The wild-child has gotten married. She is not longer a wild child or a bridezilla. She is happily married and trying to have babies. Of course I'm not old enough to be a grandma! Thanks for saying that! I love you all!
The wedding was AMAZING! The Bride and Groom looked amazing. Bossman and I looked amazing. The little man, who is 6'4 and not little anymore, looked amazing.
I can see that my kids need new names for this blog. When I started this, the little man was in kindergarten, now he's taller than his dad. The wildchild was driving me crazy and now she's married. Where DID the time go?
Anyway, the wedding was wonderful. Full of love and laughter and plenty of dancing. Who knew Bossman could do the robot?
In case any of you long time readers (I almost said old-timers, but NONE of us are old) remember my old stories about my horrible mother-in-law, well, she wasn't invited to the wedding. So it was a drama free zone. As drama free as a wedding can be, of course.
The wedding was in May, so after that the Man-child came home from school. You'll recall that we are sending him to a academy about 3 hours from us. HANDS down, the best decision we ever made. He LOVES it so so much, he doesn't want to come home. But home he came and the summer was pretty full.
First he and two friends drove to Canada to watch the women play soccer. I know NOTHING about soccer but it was the world cup, so....well that's all I know. I hear it was a big deal....HAHA!
After he came home from that, we hung out for a couple of weeks, then we went to Arizona to visit my adult married daughter. Weird! It's hard to get used to saying that. I mean, you guys...I have a son-in-law!
Yes, she moved to Arizona, which is 8 hours from me....so no I'm not happy about that move. I hope she hates it and moves closer to me. I mean, I really don't want to move to Az, but if I end up with grand babies, I'll have to consider it. (I can't really move there, but maybe we can invent a transporter.)
Anyway, did you know that it's HOT in Arizona? So, so hot! But I liked the area she's in, so that's good.
So this past Sunday we took the Man-child back to school for his SENIOR year of high school. Again I ask, when did this happen? WHEN did this kids get old? I am exactly the same. I just don't get it.
Oh, and the man-child got his drivers license and so we got him a car and we followed him to school so that way he can drive himself home. It's just crazy.
Well, that's what's going on in my life. The Bossman stuff is in the background and we are trying to figure it out, but it's just hard.
I think I already said that.
Hope you all are doing well,
HUGS!
grace
BUT, I'm here, I made it. I'm back. I think.
I don't know. Part of me wants to write and part of me says, "why bother?"
Spanking is not happening, so if you are looking for that, try some of the blogs on my list.
As a matter of fact, things are pretty lousy with me and Bossman. I would like to write about these things, just to sort it all out. But it's the sorting out that makes it hard to write about. That and it's just so HARD to write about things that are upsetting.
So, I'll probably write about it later. Or not. Who knows? I'd like to say I'm going to write it all down, but I don't want to make promises I can't keep. So, we will see.
Oh, don't worry, we aren't separated or anything. It's just.....just....it's just hard.
So, lets talk about happy things! What have you all been up too? I've missed being around. I've lurked a little, but honestly it's hard to get your heart into something when things are hard at home.
Anyway, I'll tell you what I've been up too.
Last we spoke, I was knee-deep in wedding planning. Yep, it happened! The wild-child has gotten married. She is not longer a wild child or a bridezilla. She is happily married and trying to have babies. Of course I'm not old enough to be a grandma! Thanks for saying that! I love you all!
The wedding was AMAZING! The Bride and Groom looked amazing. Bossman and I looked amazing. The little man, who is 6'4 and not little anymore, looked amazing.
I can see that my kids need new names for this blog. When I started this, the little man was in kindergarten, now he's taller than his dad. The wildchild was driving me crazy and now she's married. Where DID the time go?
Anyway, the wedding was wonderful. Full of love and laughter and plenty of dancing. Who knew Bossman could do the robot?
In case any of you long time readers (I almost said old-timers, but NONE of us are old) remember my old stories about my horrible mother-in-law, well, she wasn't invited to the wedding. So it was a drama free zone. As drama free as a wedding can be, of course.
The wedding was in May, so after that the Man-child came home from school. You'll recall that we are sending him to a academy about 3 hours from us. HANDS down, the best decision we ever made. He LOVES it so so much, he doesn't want to come home. But home he came and the summer was pretty full.
First he and two friends drove to Canada to watch the women play soccer. I know NOTHING about soccer but it was the world cup, so....well that's all I know. I hear it was a big deal....HAHA!
After he came home from that, we hung out for a couple of weeks, then we went to Arizona to visit my adult married daughter. Weird! It's hard to get used to saying that. I mean, you guys...I have a son-in-law!
Yes, she moved to Arizona, which is 8 hours from me....so no I'm not happy about that move. I hope she hates it and moves closer to me. I mean, I really don't want to move to Az, but if I end up with grand babies, I'll have to consider it. (I can't really move there, but maybe we can invent a transporter.)
Anyway, did you know that it's HOT in Arizona? So, so hot! But I liked the area she's in, so that's good.
So this past Sunday we took the Man-child back to school for his SENIOR year of high school. Again I ask, when did this happen? WHEN did this kids get old? I am exactly the same. I just don't get it.
Oh, and the man-child got his drivers license and so we got him a car and we followed him to school so that way he can drive himself home. It's just crazy.
Well, that's what's going on in my life. The Bossman stuff is in the background and we are trying to figure it out, but it's just hard.
I think I already said that.
Hope you all are doing well,
HUGS!
grace
Control?
We are still trying out the whole, "ask for permission" thing. At first it was going fine, then the wildchild came home for the weekend so although I asked, I knew there wouldn't be a spanking.
This week, I've asked and he's spanked once. In my opinion, once is better than none.
Here's the dilemma. I have a whole routine before bed. Part of that routine happens in the kitchen. The second half happens in the bedroom and bathroom. So I've been asking about getting ready for bed AFTER I do my kitchen stuff. (takiing meds and feeding cat) But before going to the bedroom. But last night, I asked and he said he was going to warm my bottom. I said ok, but I really have to pee. Because I hadn't gone to the bedroom yet and that is where I do all my bathroom things, (peeing, brushing teeth, brushing hair) So I went and did those things and when I came out, he said never mind he didn't want to do it because he didn't like waiting for me. Which made me cranky and happy at the same time....HA!
SO...we got into a discussion about when I should be asking if it's alright to get ready for bed. His response is that he wants me to get EVERYTHING done, except getting into pjs and THEN ask.
My thought about this is that it seems silly to do the kitchen things, walk past him (most of the time he's on the computer or watching tv) do the bedroom things, come back out into the living room to ask if I can get into pjs.
Does that seem silly to you?
We discussed it and he didn't really back down, so I will do what he asks, but I had to wonder to myself, WHY? Why is he making into such a hassle? Could it just be that he wants that control and he wants me to do it, even if I think it's dumb?
Certainly it is not really that big a deal in the grand scheme of things. But this is what I'm thinking about so there it is...
I still want to continue down this road. It's kinda fun and kinda sexy.
I'll let you know how things pan out!
asking for permission
It's a good week in graceland! I've gotten spanked two nights in a row!
Night one was a surprise! I was going into the bedroom to get ready for bed when he came in and pulled me to the bed and bent me over his knee. I was certainly surprised. He spanked for a little while and then we moved on to some more sexy things. It was really really good.
Afterward, we had some time to chat. Bossman said he thought we should have more spanking. DUH, you think????
Of course I agreed wholeheartedly!
We discussed how we could incorporate in more into our relationship. He decided that every evening before bed, I should ask him if it's ok to get ready for bed. See, I have a whole little routine that I perform before bed. Take my meds, feed the cat, go to bedroom, put ipad and phone on the end table and plug them in, go to the bathroom, put on pjs and THEN, get into bed.
So, the reason he thinks I should ask if I can get ready is so he can decide if he wants to spank or not that night.
So last night, I asked. It was weird. I felt a little weird asking but I did it and....
He decided to spank again.
So we went into the bedroom and he spanked me and then told me I could get ready for bed. He pulled my pants down to my knees. Pulled me over his knee. And spanked. It was the good spanking, the kind with just his hand and not the dreaded backscratcher. That man can spank hard with his hand. But still beats the BS.
So, that is what is happening at our house. I will keep you updated on how this works out, but so far, I'm liking it!
Also, I did go to my doc on Friday. He said my kidney had the function of a 70 year old. Dang! My kidney is old! We are going to retest it this week and if its still low I will have an ultrasound to see if there is anything there to be concerned with.
So lets pray for good results!!!!!!!
And let's hope the spankings continue!
Night one was a surprise! I was going into the bedroom to get ready for bed when he came in and pulled me to the bed and bent me over his knee. I was certainly surprised. He spanked for a little while and then we moved on to some more sexy things. It was really really good.
Afterward, we had some time to chat. Bossman said he thought we should have more spanking. DUH, you think????
Of course I agreed wholeheartedly!
We discussed how we could incorporate in more into our relationship. He decided that every evening before bed, I should ask him if it's ok to get ready for bed. See, I have a whole little routine that I perform before bed. Take my meds, feed the cat, go to bedroom, put ipad and phone on the end table and plug them in, go to the bathroom, put on pjs and THEN, get into bed.
So, the reason he thinks I should ask if I can get ready is so he can decide if he wants to spank or not that night.
So last night, I asked. It was weird. I felt a little weird asking but I did it and....
He decided to spank again.
So we went into the bedroom and he spanked me and then told me I could get ready for bed. He pulled my pants down to my knees. Pulled me over his knee. And spanked. It was the good spanking, the kind with just his hand and not the dreaded backscratcher. That man can spank hard with his hand. But still beats the BS.
So, that is what is happening at our house. I will keep you updated on how this works out, but so far, I'm liking it!
Also, I did go to my doc on Friday. He said my kidney had the function of a 70 year old. Dang! My kidney is old! We are going to retest it this week and if its still low I will have an ultrasound to see if there is anything there to be concerned with.
So lets pray for good results!!!!!!!
And let's hope the spankings continue!
doc update
Thank you all for your good thoughts yesterday! I went to the oncologist yesterday and he didn't seem worried about my numbers. He said that he couldn't see anything alarming so he wasn't sure why my primary doctor wants to see me. To say I'm relieved is an understatement! I still have an appointment tomorrow with my primary, but I'm not worried anymore! Life is good people, life is good!
In other news, the Manchild has gone back to school! Bossman and I went out to dinner to celebrate our empty nest again and to talk about our relationship. It was a nice discussion and we are going to try really hard to figure out how to be happy together, instead of happy doing different things. We really want to focus on doing things outside the house together. We really don't have a lot in common outside the kids, so this will be a challenge. We are thinking of joining the local Y so we can swim or play racquetball or something like that. It gets us out of the house and exercise is always a good thing.
So, a bird just flew into my sun room. All I heard is "chirp, chirp, chirp, THUNK!" Poor thing keeps flying into the windows.
Since I am a complete wimp, I let the dog in, and ran for the bathroom.
This is what normal, rational people do....
Right?
UPDATE: The bird has left the building!
WHEW!
In other news, the Manchild has gone back to school! Bossman and I went out to dinner to celebrate our empty nest again and to talk about our relationship. It was a nice discussion and we are going to try really hard to figure out how to be happy together, instead of happy doing different things. We really want to focus on doing things outside the house together. We really don't have a lot in common outside the kids, so this will be a challenge. We are thinking of joining the local Y so we can swim or play racquetball or something like that. It gets us out of the house and exercise is always a good thing.
So, a bird just flew into my sun room. All I heard is "chirp, chirp, chirp, THUNK!" Poor thing keeps flying into the windows.
Since I am a complete wimp, I let the dog in, and ran for the bathroom.
This is what normal, rational people do....
Right?
UPDATE: The bird has left the building!
WHEW!
As long as he doesn't kill her...
Found this online and though it was very interesting. As long as he doesn't kill her, it's ok to slap her.
a little bit of this and that
I guess I just have to be patient for this spanking thing to work out. Bossman finally gave me what I needed and it was GOOD!
You may not have noticed, but Bossman posted a comment on my last post. He doesn't always read my blog and since I don't post very often, this was quite a surprise!
I guess he though about it and decided the time was right for a spanking. He took me to our room and said this was just a little spanking, to get us back into the swing of things.
He got right into the swing of things and gave my bottom quite a warming. I forgot how a spanking was. It was all the right things. It was embarrassing, it was sexy, it was painful, it was tingly, it was wonderful!
And then....the next day the Manchild came home. ~sigh~
So, although not much has happened since that lovely night, we have been a lot closer, it seems. I feel more connected to Bossman. Does that make sense? Anyway, it's been great. And the Manchild goes back to school on Wednesday, so we will see if things progress any further. I HOPE so!
In other news, I switched doctors a couple of weeks ago. When I met with the new one, he wanted me to do a blood test to check my iron and stuff. They called last week and said the Doc wants to see me because my blood sugar was high and my kidney function was low. WHAT the HECK! Plus they can't see me until this Friday.
I'm of two minds. One, if it was really urgent they wouldn't be waiting for almost two weeks to see me.....right? And two, I feel fine. So I'm not sure what is going on, but anytime I have to go and see the doc I get a little freaked. I mean, hello....cancer.
Against my better judgment, I googled it. Didn't really mention cancer, so I feel a little better about that. It could be diabetes, but again, wouldn't they have wanted to see me sooner if I had full on diabetes? The kidney thing is weird too. I could just have an infection and didn't know it. I was feeling a little sick the night before, but everyone is sick so I didn't think much of it.
Bossman says not to worry about it until I have to. I can't do anything about it now, so why worry? I actually have a 6 month appointment with my oncologist on Wednesday, so I'll ask him what he thinks. Anyway, Wednesday and Friday are the appointments so if you could send some good thoughts my way, I'll really appreciate it!
On a happier note, when I first started my blog, my Manchild was only in kindergarten. Today I am happy (and scared) to say he passed his driving test. He is an officially licensed driver.
God help us all!
You may not have noticed, but Bossman posted a comment on my last post. He doesn't always read my blog and since I don't post very often, this was quite a surprise!
I guess he though about it and decided the time was right for a spanking. He took me to our room and said this was just a little spanking, to get us back into the swing of things.
He got right into the swing of things and gave my bottom quite a warming. I forgot how a spanking was. It was all the right things. It was embarrassing, it was sexy, it was painful, it was tingly, it was wonderful!
And then....the next day the Manchild came home. ~sigh~
So, although not much has happened since that lovely night, we have been a lot closer, it seems. I feel more connected to Bossman. Does that make sense? Anyway, it's been great. And the Manchild goes back to school on Wednesday, so we will see if things progress any further. I HOPE so!
In other news, I switched doctors a couple of weeks ago. When I met with the new one, he wanted me to do a blood test to check my iron and stuff. They called last week and said the Doc wants to see me because my blood sugar was high and my kidney function was low. WHAT the HECK! Plus they can't see me until this Friday.
I'm of two minds. One, if it was really urgent they wouldn't be waiting for almost two weeks to see me.....right? And two, I feel fine. So I'm not sure what is going on, but anytime I have to go and see the doc I get a little freaked. I mean, hello....cancer.
Against my better judgment, I googled it. Didn't really mention cancer, so I feel a little better about that. It could be diabetes, but again, wouldn't they have wanted to see me sooner if I had full on diabetes? The kidney thing is weird too. I could just have an infection and didn't know it. I was feeling a little sick the night before, but everyone is sick so I didn't think much of it.
Bossman says not to worry about it until I have to. I can't do anything about it now, so why worry? I actually have a 6 month appointment with my oncologist on Wednesday, so I'll ask him what he thinks. Anyway, Wednesday and Friday are the appointments so if you could send some good thoughts my way, I'll really appreciate it!
On a happier note, when I first started my blog, my Manchild was only in kindergarten. Today I am happy (and scared) to say he passed his driving test. He is an officially licensed driver.
God help us all!
wedding planning
Life is funny. You don't realize time is passing you by until you look at old photos and videos and you see your younger self.
My daughter was in town this weekend and it was all about the wedding. I was nervous about how much things were going to cost. We already are paying a lot for the venue. This weekend we had a meeting at the venue and went over all the details. After that meeting we went and met a friend of mine from high school to talk cake. I hadn't seen her in years so it was a mini reunion. I saw on Facebook that she did cakes so....can you believe she's only going to charge us 160 for the cake? That is for 80 people! She's really good too, so I'm not worried about it being crappy. Then we met with another friend for flowers. She used to own a flower shop and she's been working in flower shops since she was 13. She is going to do all the flowers for 200.
I'm telling you, it pays to know people!
Only bad thing was the dj. He didn't show for the appointment we had with him, so that was not good! But we have other options and we still have some time so it should be fine.
Back to time passing....
My daughter and I brought out the old videos. First of all they are vhs and it's lucky we still have a vhs player. Seeing my daughter as a baby was just eye opening. You just don't realize how fast time is moving and how quickly your kids are going to grow up. You also don't realize how hideous you looked!
Why the heck didn't someone tell me how horrid I looked? Big hair, frumpy clothes....Oh geez! You just never know how you look until you see that! Ha! My daughter says I look better now, so I'm happy about that, but we will see in 20 years what I think.
I'm sorry to say you will probably be subjected to wedding talk until May. It's really all my mind is on. Well, spanking is still on my mind and Bossman did talk about spanking me the other day, but I ended up making love to him instead. Is it bad that I sort of regret that decision now? I mean, don't get me wrong, the sex was great but.... Well a spanking would have been nice. I haven't had one in so long I've forgotten what it's like.
So, what's going on with all of you? What should I do to try and get a spanking? I could use some ideas!
My daughter was in town this weekend and it was all about the wedding. I was nervous about how much things were going to cost. We already are paying a lot for the venue. This weekend we had a meeting at the venue and went over all the details. After that meeting we went and met a friend of mine from high school to talk cake. I hadn't seen her in years so it was a mini reunion. I saw on Facebook that she did cakes so....can you believe she's only going to charge us 160 for the cake? That is for 80 people! She's really good too, so I'm not worried about it being crappy. Then we met with another friend for flowers. She used to own a flower shop and she's been working in flower shops since she was 13. She is going to do all the flowers for 200.
I'm telling you, it pays to know people!
Only bad thing was the dj. He didn't show for the appointment we had with him, so that was not good! But we have other options and we still have some time so it should be fine.
Back to time passing....
My daughter and I brought out the old videos. First of all they are vhs and it's lucky we still have a vhs player. Seeing my daughter as a baby was just eye opening. You just don't realize how fast time is moving and how quickly your kids are going to grow up. You also don't realize how hideous you looked!
Why the heck didn't someone tell me how horrid I looked? Big hair, frumpy clothes....Oh geez! You just never know how you look until you see that! Ha! My daughter says I look better now, so I'm happy about that, but we will see in 20 years what I think.
I'm sorry to say you will probably be subjected to wedding talk until May. It's really all my mind is on. Well, spanking is still on my mind and Bossman did talk about spanking me the other day, but I ended up making love to him instead. Is it bad that I sort of regret that decision now? I mean, don't get me wrong, the sex was great but.... Well a spanking would have been nice. I haven't had one in so long I've forgotten what it's like.
So, what's going on with all of you? What should I do to try and get a spanking? I could use some ideas!
Playboy June 1965
A long time ago some friends of our wanted us to help them sell some stuff on Ebay. Actually, they wanted us to sell some old playboys. We tried, but they weren't worth anything. We recently found them in the attic and decided to take a look at them. They are AWESOME!
I know you've heard it a thousand times...I only read playboy for the articles. But honestly, I only read playboy for the advertisements! Most of them are for whiskey and cigarettes. But there are some for cars and clothes.
Did you know that in 1965 you could by a car for 2800 dollars. A sports car even! The clothes were running about 7 dollars for a good pair of shorts and 4.50 for a nice polo top.
Honestly, the naked pictures were few. The center spread only has 4 pages and they are very tasteful. The rest of the magazine has articles and letters and such.
There was one letter that really caught my eye. I wonder why???
I know you've heard it a thousand times...I only read playboy for the articles. But honestly, I only read playboy for the advertisements! Most of them are for whiskey and cigarettes. But there are some for cars and clothes.
Did you know that in 1965 you could by a car for 2800 dollars. A sports car even! The clothes were running about 7 dollars for a good pair of shorts and 4.50 for a nice polo top.
Honestly, the naked pictures were few. The center spread only has 4 pages and they are very tasteful. The rest of the magazine has articles and letters and such.
There was one letter that really caught my eye. I wonder why???
I hope you can read it!
Anyway, I've got a whole stack of these old magazines to go through. If I see anything interesting I will let you know. I really hope I have that February issue. I would love to see what Hef wrote about spanking!
Defining moments
Hello everyone! It's been awhile since I've been here. I've been wanting to start back up with blogging but I haven't found the motivation, meaning....I haven't had a good spanking lately!
I might try getting a little more active on here again even if there haven't been spankings. I went back and read some of my archives and there are things that I don't even remember and I'm so glad I wrote them. I feel sad that I have let the last year go by without very many updates. It's like looking back on a journal of your life.
But, I'm not promising anything. I just don't like that kind of pressure!
Anyway, let's talk a minute.
Everyone has defining moments in their life. Marriages, births, deaths. These are all defining moments. My defining moment happened 5 years ago today. I found out I had breast cancer. Sure, I had other defining moments, but this was a biggie!
Somehow and some way defining moments change you. They may change you for the good, or they may change you for the bad. You might not even realize that you are being changed in that moment. I know now that I was changed. It was good change and bad change but I changed and I will never be the same. I don't take things for granted anymore. I try and celebrate little things. I love my family more than ever. I am also more anxious. I am more of a homebody, just wanting to stay home where it's safe. Yes, I was changed. Even my body changed. Well, when they take a couple of lumps out of your boob, it tends to change too.
I went back and read my archives for 2010. A lot of things happened that year. Mostly centered around the cancer. I was surprised at how I had so many things to write about. I was surprised that I still had a little humor in there too.
Many things happened that year. My 36 year old sister in law died that year.
One thing that didn't happen that year. I didn't die. For that, I am eternally grateful.
I guess what I am trying to say is Thank you. Thank you for reading this blog, even when there are hardly ever updates. Thank you for being there in 2010 when I needed you the most. Thank you, Dear Readers for caring about someone that you didn't even really know. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 5 years ago today was the scariest day of my life, but you were there with me. I wish I could give you all a hug, but that would be hard, and weird and expensive. Well, that's just not practical. So all I can really say is THANK YOU! Just know this, when you read someones blog and you think about them, well, I believe it's sending good vibes out into the universe to that person. If you leave a comment, it makes them smile. For one moment, you've changed that person.
I just thought you should know.
Anyway...
So, what was your biggest defining moment? Did it change you?
If you want to read about mine, go back to my archive and start with January 2010.
Now, lets go celebrate life! I'm heading out for an afternoon with Bossman. Maybe I'll talk to him about spanking. This blog needs MORE spanking!
Love you all!
grace
I might try getting a little more active on here again even if there haven't been spankings. I went back and read some of my archives and there are things that I don't even remember and I'm so glad I wrote them. I feel sad that I have let the last year go by without very many updates. It's like looking back on a journal of your life.
But, I'm not promising anything. I just don't like that kind of pressure!
Anyway, let's talk a minute.
Everyone has defining moments in their life. Marriages, births, deaths. These are all defining moments. My defining moment happened 5 years ago today. I found out I had breast cancer. Sure, I had other defining moments, but this was a biggie!
Somehow and some way defining moments change you. They may change you for the good, or they may change you for the bad. You might not even realize that you are being changed in that moment. I know now that I was changed. It was good change and bad change but I changed and I will never be the same. I don't take things for granted anymore. I try and celebrate little things. I love my family more than ever. I am also more anxious. I am more of a homebody, just wanting to stay home where it's safe. Yes, I was changed. Even my body changed. Well, when they take a couple of lumps out of your boob, it tends to change too.
I went back and read my archives for 2010. A lot of things happened that year. Mostly centered around the cancer. I was surprised at how I had so many things to write about. I was surprised that I still had a little humor in there too.
Many things happened that year. My 36 year old sister in law died that year.
One thing that didn't happen that year. I didn't die. For that, I am eternally grateful.
I guess what I am trying to say is Thank you. Thank you for reading this blog, even when there are hardly ever updates. Thank you for being there in 2010 when I needed you the most. Thank you, Dear Readers for caring about someone that you didn't even really know. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 5 years ago today was the scariest day of my life, but you were there with me. I wish I could give you all a hug, but that would be hard, and weird and expensive. Well, that's just not practical. So all I can really say is THANK YOU! Just know this, when you read someones blog and you think about them, well, I believe it's sending good vibes out into the universe to that person. If you leave a comment, it makes them smile. For one moment, you've changed that person.
I just thought you should know.
Anyway...
So, what was your biggest defining moment? Did it change you?
If you want to read about mine, go back to my archive and start with January 2010.
Now, lets go celebrate life! I'm heading out for an afternoon with Bossman. Maybe I'll talk to him about spanking. This blog needs MORE spanking!
Love you all!
grace
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