hurt foot

I hurt my foot.

I don't even know how it got hurt, but it hurts. I've been walking 4 miles about 3 to 4 times a week and after Fridays walk, it hurt.

So I've been staying off it. And now, I'm bored!

You would think that I could come up with something wonderful to blog about. You would think.

You would think that I would be having a great time, watching whatever I want on tv, playing on the computer uninterupted, and just sitting around on my butt, not having to do anything.

But no...it is BORING. And the house needs to be cleaned, and I want to get up off my butt and clean it. ( I know, what am I thinking? I hate cleaning.)

So I can sit for hours and play the sims, but even my sim family is boring.

And now, I've run out of things to say, so I guess I'll sign out of this very boring blog!

later.....

stay-fresh socks

I've bought a package of new socks! whoo hoo...don't you just love wearing new socks? They are so soft and comfortable, new socks make me happy.

So why do the sock packages have a zip lock top?

I noticed that the top of the package has the same top as the baggies I use to pack my sons lunch sandwich in. Why?

Is there an expiration date on socks? Will they go stale? Will they not stay fluffy and soft if they are not zip sealed?

I ask this question because I don't keep my socks stay-fresh in my drawers. I don't normally zip lock my socks and I'm wondering if I did, would they stay fresher longer?

These are the questions I ponder about in my everyday life....weird huh?

later....

slump

I am in a big slump.

I am not happy, and I don't know why.

I have everything a person could want or need. I have a very sexy, loving husband. I have 2 healthy happy children. I have good health, and I have a roof over my head, and too much food for my belly.

So whats not to be happy about?

As much as I hate to admit it, I think it has to do with spanking. (I know, I said it!)

Ok, so there hasn't been any spanking going on. And I haven't said anything. I just don't want to be the one to say anything.

I know, I know, I should say something. But heres my take on the whole thing. (not that you asked, but hey, if your reading, you asked!)

drum roll..... I can't make him the way I want him.

I know, your shocked, but it's true. I can not make him spank me. If I try, it will be forced. It will be fake, it won't be real, and frankly, I want the real thing or nothing.

I don't want to force him to be something he's not. I could never do that to him. It's just not fair.

So, I've decided, if it happens, it happens. If not, then I have to deal with it. I can't let it run my entire life. My life is too good to waste worrying about whether or not I'm going to get spanked.

At least that's what I keep telling myself.........

later......

Where is this all going?

Have you ever asked yourself what this all means?

What really is this?

Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen. I don't know what it is that I'm waiting for...but I just have a vague feeling that I'm waiting for something.

So, this got me thinking. Is our life just a constant waiting period? Are we always just waiting for that next think to happen?

When we were babies, we were constantly moving on to the next phase of our life, and we did it rather quickly. Sitting up, crawling, walking, running, talking and so on. And then we started school and every year we started a new stage in our lives.

So, now as adults, the stages of our life seem to be spread out a bit more. (thank goodness, I don't really want to get old too quick)

Now here I am in my late 30's, watching my kids go through the stages (and rather quickly, I might add) and I wonder what is next for me. What is my next stage?

Where to I go from here? What am I waiting for? Will I know it when it comes? Or am I destine to be waiting for the rest of my life?

And so I guess I wait. I wait for this.... Whatever this is!

Love letter

Dear Bossman,

There is only one place in this world that can think of that I would like to be on this day.

I only have to see you, to know that this is where I need to be.

I can laugh here, and I can cry here.

I can let go of my deepest fears, and can celebrate my happiest times.

I am accepted and I am appreciated for the person that I am.

I am sure that this is the place I was born to be.

I love you more that words can ever say.

So in your arms I will always be.

I love you, my Valentine......

later.................

Has romance died?

Where is the romance?

That is the question I've been asking myself lately.

It seems that we have been living our lives like a movie that gets rewound and played over and over again.

We do the same things, go to school, go to work, watch tv, do homework, cook dinner, watch tv, go to bed. Over and over and over and over.

Ok, there is sex mixed in, usually in the morning after kids are gone, but even that has turned routine. Same ole thing, different day. That's my life.

Now don't get me wrong, Bossman is great. He is so sweet to me. He worries about me, he cares about me, he takes care of me. But somewhere along the way we lost romance, and now I can't explain exactly what it is I'm looking for.

Because really, how does one explain romance? Is it flowers and candy? Not really, not for me, anyway. So what is it? And more importantly, how do I explain it to Bossman?

I think it has to do with how close I feel to Bossman. I think that is what makes me feel like there is romance. Right now, I feel very disconnected from Bossman right now. I feel like we are just doing the same things over and over and we aren't really connecting.....spiritually? Maybe that's it...our spirits aren't connecting.

Or maybe its just that I haven't had a good spanking lately......

Spanking is a good way to connect. At least for me. So maybe that is what is missing, and I'm unwilling to admit that. I feel weird admitting that I need a spanking to feel connected to my husband. Is that really what it takes for me?

What has happened to me? Why has this become such a part of me that I feel disconnected when it doesn't happen? I should be able to have a perfectly normal life without worrying so much about spankings and all that comes with it. I try so hard, but it always creeps back in. I don't want it to dominate my life...but yet its always there.

Well, Valentines day is around the corner. Although we've decided not to buy gifts for Vday, we have decided that cards would be good. I think I'll write a Vday letter to Bossman.

Maybe I'll even post it here. Maybe.

later.......

New books

Well well well, here I am again.

I feel like I really don't have anything to contribute to this world of blogging. I find that I write a bunch of stuff, and then delete it all because it sounds dull and boring.

Just like my life.

One very exciting thing happened today though, so I thought that writing about something is better than writing about nothing, I thought I would jot it down here, just so there could be entry in my blog.

The exciting news is......drum roll....I got new books today! I joined the Doubleday book club, and I just got my first shipment of 6 new books.

Don't you just love the smell of new books? Don't you just love to run your hands over the crisp new sheets of unread pages? Ok, maybe it's just me.

I can't help it. I love books. I love that they hold the promise of an exciting adventure. I love that I can step outside of my dull boring life and live someones elses life for awhile.

But they look so new and wonderful that I don't even want to open them. And then I have another big problem...which one should I read first?

I think I will just enjoy the newness of them for awhile. Then maybe I'll start reading....

later.....