Has romance died?

Where is the romance?

That is the question I've been asking myself lately.

It seems that we have been living our lives like a movie that gets rewound and played over and over again.

We do the same things, go to school, go to work, watch tv, do homework, cook dinner, watch tv, go to bed. Over and over and over and over.

Ok, there is sex mixed in, usually in the morning after kids are gone, but even that has turned routine. Same ole thing, different day. That's my life.

Now don't get me wrong, Bossman is great. He is so sweet to me. He worries about me, he cares about me, he takes care of me. But somewhere along the way we lost romance, and now I can't explain exactly what it is I'm looking for.

Because really, how does one explain romance? Is it flowers and candy? Not really, not for me, anyway. So what is it? And more importantly, how do I explain it to Bossman?

I think it has to do with how close I feel to Bossman. I think that is what makes me feel like there is romance. Right now, I feel very disconnected from Bossman right now. I feel like we are just doing the same things over and over and we aren't really connecting.....spiritually? Maybe that's it...our spirits aren't connecting.

Or maybe its just that I haven't had a good spanking lately......

Spanking is a good way to connect. At least for me. So maybe that is what is missing, and I'm unwilling to admit that. I feel weird admitting that I need a spanking to feel connected to my husband. Is that really what it takes for me?

What has happened to me? Why has this become such a part of me that I feel disconnected when it doesn't happen? I should be able to have a perfectly normal life without worrying so much about spankings and all that comes with it. I try so hard, but it always creeps back in. I don't want it to dominate my life...but yet its always there.

Well, Valentines day is around the corner. Although we've decided not to buy gifts for Vday, we have decided that cards would be good. I think I'll write a Vday letter to Bossman.

Maybe I'll even post it here. Maybe.

later.......