The year in review

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?  Went to Hawaii....that was fun 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't do resolutions because I would just break them and then feel bad.  I just try to start with a clean slate and hope I can improve myself.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope

4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes, D (Bossman's 36 year old sister) died on June 27th and we miss her so much!

5. What countries did you visit? America

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010? To be healthier

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Jan 15, the day I found out I had cancer and June 27, the day D passed away

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? surviving cancer

9. What was your biggest failure? Not sticking to a budget

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Um, does breast cancer count?

11. What was the best thing you bought? I don't really know for sure.  I guess I'll say my kindle.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Bossman.  I couldn't have survived this year without him.  He's been my rock!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My sister-in-law, M.  Tried to kill herself

14. Where did most of your money go? mortgage

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Christmas

16. What song will always remind you of 2010? Live like you were dying by Tim Mcgraw.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? Sadder because D is not with us, but happier because she taught be to live life to the fullest and not be sad. 
  b) thinner or fatter? same
 c) richer or poorer? same

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Laugh

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? worrying about family drama

20. How did you spend Christmas? Christmas eve with my family, Christmas day with the kids and ice skating.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010? Every year I fall in love with Bossman a little bit more.

22. What was your favorite TV program? I admit, I'm a TV junkie!  I love Grey's, Private Practice, Parenthood.  I also love Amazing Race, Survivor.  There are others, but I don't want you all to think all I do is watch TV.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No hate in this house. 

24. What was the best book you read? "The Art of Racing in the Rain".  It's by Garth Stein.  It's written by the dogs point of view.  Great book.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Wow, that's a tough one.  I just love music!

26. What did you want and get? I wanted to survive cancer...and I did.

27. What did you want and not get? I wanted D to live.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? Harry Potter

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 42 and I was in the middle of radiation treatments.  We went to dinner and had cake and it was nice.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?  Hmmmm, I don't know how to answer that. 

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?  Jeans and tee's.  Not very fashionable, I'm afraid. 

32. What kept you sane? Bossman

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?   The guy on the Old Spice commercial.  I just LOVE that guy.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Health care. 

35. Who did you miss? My sis-in-law D.

36. Who was the best new person you met? I met some of D's in-laws at her funeral and I was touched by everything they did for her.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010. Life is short.  Too short.  We should live, laugh and love as much as possible.  Tell the people you love that you love them for you never know when it's the end.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. "Livin on a prayer" by Bon Jovi.  I feel like this whole year has been one big prayer.

I hope you all have a wonderful New Year!  Thank you all for reading my blog and being my friends.  Whether I know you in "real" life or whether I just know you from this blog, my life has been richer for knowing each and every one of you!

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Christmas

Feeling much better, thank you very much!  But...I gave it to the kids.  Bossman didn't get it.  I'm thinking it's because he's the only one in the house that got a flu shot.  I meant to get one...really, I did!  But procrastination is one of my strong suits....so of course I never got one.

Since it's almost Christmas, I thought I'd do a Christmas meme.  I hope you all have a very merry Christmas.  Enjoy your families and friends....eat too much....and love a lot!


1.Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate....with marshmallows and whipped cream!

2.Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Oh the Santa presents have to be wrapped!!

3.Colored lights on tree/house or white? White and colored.  Our house is a little Griswoldish...we have lots of lights...colored on the roof, white icicles.  Santa and snowman in the yard with some reindeer.  Colored lights on our tree, but white lights around my mangers scenes...I have 12 of them.

4.Do you hang mistletoe? no

5.When do you put your decorations up? The goal is the first weekend of December.

6.What is your favorite holiday dish? Yams with marshmallows and brown sugar...YUM

7.Favorite Holiday memory as a child? coming home from church on Christmas eve and all the presents are under the tree and there is a note from Santa.  He left the window open because we didn't have a chimney.  I was worried that year about whether he would come if we didn't have a chimney.

8.When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? What truth?  I still believe!

9.Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We have my family over on Christmas eve and we open all the gifts and then in the morning we open the gifts from Santa.

10.How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Every year we buy an ornament with the year on it.  We also have tons of ornaments from the kids.  Home made ones are the best!

11.Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it! But it doesn't snow here.  :(

12.Can you ice skate? I think so, but it's been awhile!

13.Do you remember your favorite gift? The Barbie Dream house!

14.What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Being with family.

15.What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Pumpkin pie and sugar cookies

16.What tops your tree? An angel

17.Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Giving, without question.

18.What is your favorite Christmas Song? I love them all and I'm known for spontaneously dancing in the kitchen.

19.Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum? I can take them or leave them.

20. Favorite Christmas Show? Charlie Brown Christmas.

21.Saddest Christmas Song? Grandma got run over by a reindeer.  Now that song is SAD!  LOL


Merry Christmas Everyone!

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Thankful

 Things I'm thankful for today:

Tissue
Health insurance
laptop
netflix
old Christmas movies
advil

Most importantly I'm thankful for Bossman.  He has been a complete angel.  He's slept on the couch with me at 5 in the morning, he's gotten all my medicines and made sure I take them.  He's run all my errands, cooked all the meals and done dishes and laundry.

Well that's all I've got for today...I think I need a nap!


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Monday fill in.....the very sick addition

 Not really a Monday fill in but boy am I sick!

I just came from the doc and it seems that I have 2 ear infections, a sinus infection and bronchitis.  All I need now is a partridge in a pear tree and I'll be all set for Christmas.  This is what happens when you procrastinate and don't get a flu shot.  Seriously, I haven't felt this sick since....well since that Thanksgiving 4 years ago when I got so sick.  But even then...I could breathe! 

I think you should all stop right now and take a huge breath.  Go ahead, inhale through your nose with your mouth closed.  Do it....I'll wait.

Was that good for you?  Because at the moment I can't do that at all.  As a matter of fact, my nose is so plugged up that I can't even taste.  Being sick is one thing but I can't even enjoy all the junk food that Bossman has been buying me!

Well, you all know that I'm a big baby anyway, so why should now be any different? 

I will say.....I am very, very grateful for my laptop!

Stay healthy people....and if you see Santa could you tell him that all I want for Christmas is to breathe?  Thanks!


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Friday fill ins....the sick addition

So...here we go!

1. I wish I was feeling better.

2. Being sick is not fun...that's what I'm thinking.

3. Please bring the tissues and the thermometer.

4. Bossman is taking care of me and is so amazing.

5. One of my fondest hopes is that my family stays healthy.

6. Bossman is my hero and I just wanted to say thank you.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to sleeping, tomorrow my plans include sitting on the couch and Sunday, I want to feel better!
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Butt massage

Not much is happening here in grace-land.  Life is humming along at a nice pace.  I'm getting excited for Christmas.  Family will be coming over and I'm looking forward to all the neices and nephews coming over.

So.....Friday between 10am and 12pm, Bossman and I will be home alone.

Bossman told me last night that a spanking would be happening.  I'll keep you posted on that.

If a spanking does happen, I'll probably be needing some of this:

I better head to the store.....


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Friday Fill-ins, the NON spanking edition

I'm failing as a blog writer.  I know this.  I will try harder. Who am I kidding???  I probably won't.  Or I will and then not.  Whatever....  I totally blame this on Bossman.  There has been no spankings around here and it's driving me NUTS!  If he doesn't give me things to write about...how am I suppose to write???

Oh well, enjoy the fill-ins!


1. The best thing about a birthday celebration is the cake.
2. Memories become more precious with the passage of time.

3. I went shopping recently and the most interesting thing I bought was helecoptor.

4. Talking behinds someones back is a child's game I don't like to play.

5. The reason is drama is too stressful.

6. I feel sorry for those in the  snow and cold.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Christmas shopping with Bossman, tomorrow my plans include watching the Christmas parade and Sunday, I want to get the Christmas tree!


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Thanksgiving

I can't believe how this past week has crept up on me.  It's all been a blur and a fun blur at that.

I had a great Thanksgiving.  Actually, this weekend has been awesome.  At the beginning of the week I wasn't sure how things were going to turn out.  We had major drama on Bossman's side of the family and I wasn't sure how that would affect us.

Turns out, things were great with us.  We are getting pretty good at ignoring the drama and leading our own lifes, even when they try and drag us in.

I hope you had a great Turkey day.  My sister and her family came over and we had fun.  We cooked, we watched football and we played games.  We ate until we all wanted to throw-up and then....we ate some more!

Can you believe it's time to get ready for Christmas?  My, my, time flies!

Well, what are you waiting for...let the games begin!

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nothing but a Friday Fill-in

I've got nothing for you today.  It's been a bad week and other than what I posted yesterday I've got nothing of interest to report!  So let's just do the Friday fill-in and be done with it....OK?


1. Why does the lady taking my blood have to wiggle the needle around while it's in my arm?   (don't answer that...I already know.  And just because my veins are small doesn't mean it doesn't hurt!


2. I wish I could see the world the way little children see the world.

3. Thank you for being my internet friends and listening to all my problems when surely you have better things to do. How do you like that run on sentence?

4. Christmas is my favorite holiday because I love the decorations.

5. I am SO tired...all the time.

6. We can be anything we want to be if we make up our minds to be. That is a boring answer but my mind is mush today and I can't think of anything else.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Nothing....as Bossman is leaving and I will be home watching my nephew and I'm not looking forward to it, tomorrow my plans include sitting around waiting for Bossman to come home and Sunday, I want to SLEEP!


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Do you believe in spanking?

I take care of a little girl during the day.  She's almost 2 and she's just the sweetest little thing.  She looks a little like those Olsen twins, when they were babies.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because I had quite the shocker a couple of weeks ago when her mom came to pick her up.

Out of the blue she asks, "So, what do you think about spanking?"

Oh boy!  Are you kidding me?  Did you really just ask me that??  I almost started laughing.  Of course I realized immediately that she was talking about spanking children but still.....

I answered that I'm all for it when I need it and there is never enough at my house....IN MY HEAD.

In real life I asked what she thought....about spanking her children...of course...LOL

In the end it came down to the fact she had a really bad morning with her older daughter (whom I don't watch) and I guess she spanked her and the daughter (totally manipulating her mom) said that it was too hard and it hurt her tailbone. 

So the mom....(she's a little bit of an air-head) let her stay at grandmas for the day.  This is because she (the mom) is a teacher, so she didn't want her daughter to say something to her teacher about her butt hurting and then having the school turn her in.

Turns out.....just so you know.  The mom spanked the daughter with her hand and it was only one slap and it was over pants.  When the mom checked on the daughter later in the day, the grandma informed the mom that the daughter didn't even mention it.  There was absolutely NO mark on the daughter's butt....not even red.  So the daughter was being a typical 6 year old drama queen.....she totally got a free day off of school and made her mom feel bad.

I do understand the dilemma that the mom was put under.  IF she HAD sent the daughter to school and the daughter had complained to her teacher, her teacher would have had to tell the authorities and THAT could have resulted in very bad things.  Both mom and dad work in the school systems so they could possibly have lost their jobs.

Anyway, this isn't a post about whether or not you believe in spanking your children.  BUT, it does show how much life has changed since I was a kid.

Also, how often are you asked, in real life, What do you think about spanking??? 

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the couch spanking

Last week, we had the fortunate chance to be alone in our house.  The kids were out and not expected back any time soon.

We settled in to watch Hell's Kitchen.  Bossman decided that was the perfect opportunity to spank my bottom.

He bared my bottom and put me over his lap while sitting on the sofa.  With my head turned, I could watch TV while he was spanking.  I can honestly say that there wasn't much TV watching going on.

Even with just his hand...that man can spank HARD!

It was a lovely little spanking but it really hurt.  I was surprised at that because usually I can take a lot more from his hand.

I firmly believe that sometimes spanking just hurt more.  Seriously....there are times I can take a lot of spanking and still want more.  Then there are the times when a few swats hurt so much I don't think I can take any more at all.  I'm not sure there is a reason for this phenomenon, but if anyone has any ideas....let me know!

So, that's what's going on over here. 

How was your weekend?


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Friday fill-ins...the lazy addition

I've been lazy and haven't felt like typing anything this week.  I DO, however, have a nice the little spanking that I'd like to tell you all about.  But not now.  I am spending the day with Bossman and the little man so I'll have to tell you all about it later.

Let's do a Friday fill-in!

1. When pigs fly I will like doing laundry.

2. Christmas is a month away...seriously?!

3. Call me anytime!

4. Give me a "Hell Yeah" if you know what I mean.

5. The most entertaining person in my life is daughter because she's super funny and always comes home from work with funny stories.

6. Kurt Warren got voted off of Dancing with the Stars....who's next?

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to quiet evening at home, tomorrow my plans include church and pizza with friends and Sunday, I want to sleep all day!
Have a great weekend everyone!


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Oh my, you guys...you won't believe this....

I got this email and I'm a little concerned.  It seems I may have been in a fatal accident!

BUT...if I'm still alive and give them all my info....I could be RICH!  What would you like me to buy you???

Thank goodness for the agreement reached to compersate me for the lost funds to scammers and fruad stars.  (Whatever the hell that means!)

I'm rich, I'm rich, I'm rich!!!!  I better go make sure I'm still alive!


Attention :


I just want to inform you that your FUNDS worth USD500.000.00 has been Deposited at the Bank Of Africa by the Nigerian Government, EFCC , FBI and the United Nations, After an Agreement reached to Compersate you for the lost funds to Scammers and Fruad Stars.



We later received an update that you Authorize Mr.Robert Weller from West Virginia to claim your funds of USD500,000.00? because he informed us that you were involved in a fatal accident, so if you are still alive please kindly get back to us so that we will not be making any mistake as we are about sending him your user name and password to logon to your online account with Bank of Africa that worths USD500,000.00 (Five hundred thousand united states dollars ), we need a final confirmation before we decide to send him the important details to transfer your funds through Bank of Africa online transfer as he claims to be your beneficiary.


Find Your Account Officer Contact Information Below :
=====================================================
Contact Officer: Mr. Michael Williams
Email : seanh231@yahoo.cn
Tel: +234 8083475523... Make sure you Call



Kindly Re-confirm the Information stated Below if you are still ALIVE:


Full Name;........
Home Address;........
Occupation......
Telephone:........
Age:....
A copy of your Identification:....


Please make sure you contact Mr. Michael Williams with all your informations so that your funds can be Transferedto your designated account that you shall provide.


Best Regards
Ann Mills
Bank Of Africa Online Banking
Trust, Clearing & Investment Banking
+234-1780890
Oh Bank of Africa!  Thank you so much for the over but it seems I DIED in that fatal accident!
Bummer for me!

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Friday fill-in...the moody addition

I'm moody and cranky.  My meds are starting to make my legs ache, which is part of the side affects but it sucks!  I feel like I need to exercise but they sometimes ache too much to walk.  I'm heading to the oncologist in a couple of weeks, so I'll ask if there is anything I can do for it.  From all I've read, Advil is about the best I can do.  I'm doing that, but it doesn't help much.
Anyway, life is too short to worry about it.  Besides achy legs are better than cancer!

Hope you all have a good weekend!  Let's get to the Friday fill-ins!

1. Sometimes, life is sad and complicated.


2. I worried about the whole thing, way too much!

3. Small things make me cranky, lately.

4. The book "The Surrendered Wife" is very enlightening.

5. I keep meaning to tell you all about this book.

6. I haven't gone crazy ...yet.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hanging with the boys, tomorrow my plans include church and relaxing and Sunday, I want to hear the sounds of football and racing on TV!

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ouch!

My son, the not-so-little man, went to his first dance on Friday evening.  He was so excited when he got home.  He says he danced and had a great time.  He slow-danced with an 8th grade girl.  (He's in 7th)  Way to go, Son!

Since my son was away, it seemed the perfect time to get that pesky little spanking out of the way.  Only there was one small problem.

My daughter walked in the door about an hour before the festivities were to begin.  ~sigh~

Seems she was asked to do a split shift, so she was home for 4 hours.  Crap!

My heart sank.  I thought I was going to have to wait longer to get this spanking over with.  Luckily, she had to go back an hour before the dance was over!

YAY!  Or maybe boo.  No...definitely Yay!  With a dash of boo.

So, the spanking was on.  And on it was. 

Bossman chose to use a wooden spoon, a backscratcher and a bath brush.  In that order.

He started out fairly soft but as the spanking went on, the softness faded to sharp stinging.  By the time he started on the bathbrush, I was sure I wasn't going to make it.  It really hurt!  I did the usual amount of complaining and wiggling and such, but it didn't help.  The man had a tight grip on me and he wasn't going to let me get out of this.

I was never so glad when it was over. 

Funny thing is, after it was over, I didn't think it was so bad.  I was telling myself how crazy I was to be dreading it.  I really thought, "I've had worse."  Of course, I certainly didn't tell HIM that.  I'm not THAT stupid.

Turns out, it was a pretty bad spanking.  Not so much that night, but the next day it was so itchy and sore.  A look in the mirror told me that there was some bruises.  Honestly, I didn't think there would be.

Anyway, everything is good now.  The car will get fixed soon and life will move on. 

You can bet that I will double and triple check my mirrors before backing up my car from now on!


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funny facebook conversation....

Let's just get this out of the way first.  YES, there was a spanking.  I don't have time to write about it, but I promise I'll get to it soon.

Halloween was fun.  I posted some pictures of my daughter on facebook in her costume and I got funny comments.  She was dressed as a dead lion tamer and part of her costume was a whip.

These were the comments I got.

Friend 1:  Scary is right! Love the whip. (spanko)

Me:  you would... ;)

Friends 2: She looks like a character from a Tim Burton film.  Speaking of whips... where did she find it? Surely, not in one of your cabinets!!!  (spanko)

Me: I thought she borrowed it from YOU....LOL

My daughter: Gross.

Friend 3:  Great pictures. You weird people. Pumpkins were really good, especially when lit. :-)  (Non-spanko)

I guess we know where my daughter stands on the whole spanking issue.....or maybe she just thinks it's gross because it's her MOTHER talking....LOL  I really love the part where my vanilla friend called us weird! 

Either way....it was my favorite conversation this weekend! 
Now I need to get start writing about my spanking!

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Happy Halloween Friday fill in

Tonight is the first dance of the year, at the little mans school. 

Um.....

Are you serious?  He's old enough to go to dances?  And wait a minute....doesn't the wildchild turn 20 in a few weeks?

~sigh~  I think I'm getting OLD!

Anyway, since the dance is tonight, I have a strong feeling I'll be doing some dancing of my own.  I'm sure I'll be doing the spanking dance and honestly....I'm not looking forward to it.

I'm not usually in the situation of anticipation.  Usually it just happens.  We don't have the freedom to just spank whenever it's needed....so it's just happens when it happens.  And usually it doesn't happen at all.  BUT, this time he's determined and he's been reminding me every day. 

I guess what I'm saying is....I'm not a big fan of anticipation.

Oh well.....let's get on to the Friday fill-ins....the Halloween addition.

1. While the cat's away the mouse will always eat the cheesecake.

2. I think my sons Halloween costume is fabuloso!

3. Children are always around when I need a good spanking.

4. I immediately take off my shoes when I get home from work or shopping or what have you.

5. This may seem odd, but am not in the mood for a spanking.

6. I'm going to hide the backscratcher and that seems like a fine idea to me!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to getting the spanking over with, tomorrow my plans include carving pumpkins and going to dinner at a friends house and Sunday, I want to trick or treat with my son!

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make-up sex

I know all you detail whores (and you know who you are) are dying to know what happend on Monday.

It was hot.

It was sexy.

It was....

So, I'm minding my own business, washing dishes.  Bossman comes up and starts kissing me.  It was a very hot kiss.  I melted into him and just kissed long and hard. 

Of course that lasted about 5 seconds before a kid walked in.  And you know how kids are....all grossed out when the parental units are kissing.  Someday, they will get it.  LOL

After I finished the dishes, I went into the living room to watch some football. (What do you mean you don't watch football on Monday nights???)  I went to sit on the opposite side of the sofa from Bossman, but he beckened me over to his side.  Since we had such a crappy weekend, we felt like we needed to be close to each other.

So, I went over and sat by him and I ended up laying on the couch with my head in his lap.  He asked if I had taken a shower that day and no...I hadn't yet taken a shower.

At half time, he pulled me off the sofa and led me to the bedroom.  He said we were going to take a shower together.  Although the kids are grossed out by the shower thing, they are used to us doing that....so it was no big deal.

Once we got into the bathroom though....things changed.

Suddenly, Bossman was in complete control.  He made me stand in the dark bathroom while he went and got some stuff out of the bedroom.  He came back with a blindfold and our wrist cuffs.

After unclothing me and cuffing my wrists behind my back and blindfolding me, he whispered in my ear that I was to obey him.  I was not to talk or try to do anything that he didn't want me doing.

Needless to say, the shower was amazing.  He was in control of everything, just the way I like it to be. 

It was a nice way to reconnect. 

For those of you interested.....there is still talk of a spanking.  Bossman is taking great delight in reminding me that it will happen.  He wants me to know that although it was an accident, I should have been more careful.  He says he can't wait for the opportunity to reveal itself. 

I, on the other hand, am thinking this isn't going to be a good one....if you know what I mean.


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guilty as charged

Sometimes I can be so stupid!

Bossman has a nice car.  It's a sports car and it stands out.  People take notice.  People comment and point at his car wherever he goes. 

I dented it.

It all happened Saturday.  We were headed out the door to a funeral.  Bossman was taking his car because he had to be there to run the sound system and I had to take the little man to a friends house.  We headed out at the same time but Bossman couldn't find his garage door opener.  He had pulled his car out onto the driveway and was looking for the opener. 

I thought he had left. 

I backed out of the garage.  And smacked right into his car.

I didn't look out of the mirror.  Well, I take that back, I didn't look out of ALL the mirrors.  The driveway is at an angle and the way his car was parked, I couldn't see it out the rearview mirror.  Had I looked out of the side mirror, I would have seen him.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! 

This car is Bossman's pride and joy.  He loves this car....sometimes I think he loves it more than me!  (Not really)  So needless to say, he was quite unhappy with me. 

Let's just say, unhappy is an understatement.  He was out and out PISSED!

Now, I don't blame him for being mad.  I was pretty mad at myself and I was helpless to fix it.  I hate that!  All I really wanted to do was go back in time and make sure I looked out of my mirrors.    GAH!

Anway, he zoomed off to the funeral and I took the little man to his friends.  When I got to the funeral, I knew I wasn't going to be sitting with him because he was working the sound system.  So, I sat through the service by myself.  Not only was I sad that my friend passed away, I was pretty sad that I had ruined Bossmans car and I KNEW he wasn't going to talk to me.  I knew he was going to be really mad.  And I KNEW there was nothing I could do to fix it.

After the funeral, I cornered Bossman in one of the classrooms and I tried to apologize.  He wasn't ready to hear it.  He said he knew it was an accident, but he didn't want to talk about it.  I was in tears, but there was nothing I could do except let him go on his way.

Needless to say, Saturday night was tense in our house.  We stayed in opposites sides of the house.  Sunday, wasn't much better....but by the evening we were at least hanging out in the same rooms.

All I really wanted was for him to forgive me.  I knew it would happen, but the waiting was horrible.  I was so sad and angry at myself, I didn't really know what to do.

Monday Bossman came home for lunch.  I offered to fix him something and he cornered me in the pantry and gave me a hug.  I think it's the best hug I ever got.  I got a little teary.  He said he forgave me.  I told him how sorry I was. 

Things were still a little awkward.  I didn't know how I should act or be. 

Monday night, I was doing the dishes and he came over and kissed me.  It was raw and passionate and it was....

Well, it was the beginning of make-up sex.

And if you want to know about it...you'll have to wait until tomorrow.  I've got laundry to do!

In case you were wondering, spanking was mentioned and I'm pretty sure the next time we are completely alone, I'll be getting my bottom dented.....just like I did to his car! :(


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Friday Love

Thank you all for stopping by yesterday!  I'm so humbled by the thought you all are out there reading this and think of me when doing laundry...LOL 

I'm always surprised when someone leaves a comment.  You would think after all the years I've been blogging I'd be used to it.  But no.  I'm always surprised that you guys want to read this stuff. 

So again I say, Thank you! 

There is no spanking happening around here.  You know, the whole "lets have a period whenever my uterus feels like it" is getting old and making me crabby!  That's right, I said it, I'm crabby. 

I'm finding myself very sensitive about certain subjects and I keep having to apologize to Bossman for snapping at him.  The latest subject.....

I'm very concerned that my children, (mostly the little man) will only remember me as the mom who was sick.  The mom that can't do stuff because she's tired, or sick, or it might hurt her neck. (remember, my neck is a mess and I can't do as much stuff as I used to...you know, like roller coasters and stuff) 

The other night my son said he wished I could do fun things like I used to.  ~sigh~

So, the other night Bossman suggested that I try to do fun things with the little man.  I got upset and snapped and, needless to say, it wasn't pretty.  I know he wasn't saying it meanly, but I just lost it.  I don't like feeling like I'm failing my kids.  I certainly don't want to be known as the sickly mom who can't do anything. 

Anyway, that's what's happening around here.  Don't worry, I've apologized to Bossman and we've moved on, but it's still on my mind and it's still bothering me.  Whatever!

Time for Friday spanko fill-ins.  At least I try to make them spanking related.  I figure I've got to fake it til I make it.  If I pretend to be in a sexual, spanking mood....maybe it will happen...right???  Bold is my answer and if I've added anything to the fill in...that's in italic.

1. One of my strongest beliefs is God.  And a good spanking can solve most problems.


2. Somtimes I can make small problems huge!

3. The sky is cloudy with a threat of rain and wind and cold, so I start a fire and make hot chocolate.

4. Bossman spanking me  is comforting to me.

5. I always thought I'd be a teacher.

6. First we had dinner  and then I went outside to look at the full moon.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to dinner at the beach, tomorrow my plans include a funeral (not fun) and Sunday, I want to get my toilet fixed! maybe this week?

Well, there you have it.  I hope you all have a great weekend!

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Love our Lurkers

Welcome!

As you've noticed, this is not your typical spanking blog.  I've not had as much spanking as I would like.  I've been kind of busy with breast cancer.

BUT, things are getting better.  Life does move on.  I'm one of the lucky ones. 

So, thanks for stopping by.  Thanks for reading, even on the boring days!

Please....leave a comment if you can.  I'd love to know that you are out there reading, even if you leave me a fake name.

This year has been really hard.  I've so grateful for the love and support of this blogging community. 

So, again I say....

Thanks for stopping by!


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Fake it til you make it

Still coughing!  (Yes, C, I should see the doc, but we all have the cough and since it's slowly going away, I'll wait a few more days before I go.  I've been going to the doc so much, I really hate to go unless I NEED too!)

The back is feeling better.  Still a little sore, but nothing major.  Unfortunately, I can lift the laundry basket again!

Ever since I've been on this bc med, tamoxifen, my periods have been weird.  (Ok boys, this is where I get into TMI and talk about periods.  If this squicks you out, jump to the next paragraph!)  See, I've been a spotter.  My periods have been super regular, but I spot and bleed a lot throughout the month.  I've been doing that since my son was born 12 years ago and I've been to many docs, but nothing is wrong, so I just live with it.  I thought tamoxifen was actually going to have a good side effect.  I went a whole month without spotting.  OH the JOY!  What a great month.  But then, I didn't get my period.  So I thought I was preggers.  Which...OMG!  Shoot me now, if I'm pregnant.  But, I just started my period a week late.  That was 2 weeks ago.  Now, now I'm having another period.  GAH! 

Turns out, this is all normal with the meds, so nothing to worry about.  Plus, in August I had a pelvic ultrasound and everything looks good in there!  (I know you were all dying to know that about me...LOL)

In other news....my daughter may be moving out. 

MOVING OUT????

Apparently, she has a friend that needs a roomate and she is thinking of moving in with her.  Um, when did she become old enough to move out on her own?  Furthermore, when did I become old enough to have a daughter old enough to move out?

This could all happen as early as next month.  I'm happy for her, but seriously....how weird is it going to be without her?

I'm trying really hard to be supportive.  Trying not to be negative.  Hopefully, if I keep this up, I'll actually BE supportive instead of just trying.

On the plus side, she won't be around as much, so there could be more spanking opportunities.  Right now, that's about the only plus I can think of. 

Life is still moving forward.  Even after everything that's happened this last year. 

Imagine that!

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Friday fill-ins and the bad back

The cold is slowly going away, but I still have a nagging cough which I thought I'd share with Bossman.  You know me, I'm the sharing type!

Let me be honest.  This coughing is driving me bananas!  If my bladder isn't completely empty, I end up with a little squirt in my panties.  (Was that TMI????)  Stupid coughing.

So, the other night, I got up to use the potty.  It was around midnight and Bossman wasn't in bed yet.  I used the potty and stood up.  I started to walk to the sink, cuz, you know, I gotta wash my hands, when I had a major coughing fit.  I coughed really hard when suddenly.......

OMG!

The worst back pain I've ever had shot through my body. 

It felt like lightening had struck my lower back.  I thought I was going to fall down, but I managed to grab the sink counter.  But there was a problem.

I couldn't MOVE!  Oh my goodness, the pain was incredible and I couldn't MOVE.  All I could do was stand there. 

I tried calling for Bossman but there were a couple of things against me.  One was, the door was closed and our house is big.  The second thing was, the little mans room is between my room and the living room where Bossman was.  The third thing was, the bathroom window was open and I didn't want to alarm the neighbors.

So, there I was, trapped in my own bathroom by my own back.  I knew I needed a life alert bracelet.  It was a "I've fallen and can't get up" moment!

I couldn't even take my hands off the counter.  BUT, I finally managed to push the door open.  I was standing right next to it, so I just had to take my hands off the counter.  Once I got the door open, I gave a loud shout to
Bossman and I prayed that he would hear me.  He did!  Finally.  It must have been 5 minutes before I was able to get his attention.  He says he barely heard me and thought it was coming from outside but decided to investigate.  Thank goodness he did.

Once he found me, it was quite a trick getting me to the bed.  After trying a chair, (sitting...not an option) and trying various other ways, it was determined that the only way I was making it to the bed was to crawl.

~sigh~  That's right....I said CRAWL!  As in, on my hands and knees. 

After that humiliating trip across the floor, I managed to get myself halfway on the bed.  With my legs dangling off, Bossman was able to get the rest of me on the bed.  After a few flips, (him, flipping me..LOL) I was securely on my side of the bed, face up.  I was glad I had just got to the potty, for getting back to the bedroom was not going to be fun.

Heating pad and massage helped, then we just went to sleep.  When I woke around 6am, I was able to move better and get myself out of bed.  Today it's still sore, but I'm able to move and walk. 

Everytime I cough now, I get worried.  I have to brace myself and try not to cough to hard.

Seriously?  Am I suppose to be this frail at the age of 42???  GAH!

Well, let's move on the Friday fill-ins....On Saturday!

1. Wow, it's already Saturday.

2. Spanked behinds are beautiful.

3. My favorite way to start a day is cuddling with Bossman before a spanking and after.

4. I would be very surprised if he came home and he walked in the door holding a pumpkin.

5. I look out my window and see tall pine trees in my back yard.

6. Spanking is what I've been thinking about lately. And bad back or not....I want one!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to making cookies with the little man, tomorrow my plans include watching the nascar race with Bossman and Sunday, I want to make sure Bossman fixes my toilet!


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coughing and hacking and sneezing....oh my!

Well, I can see my Friday fill-ins were a complete hit!  (she says with her tongue in cheek) 

Thank you Jean!  For your comment and for always being there!  You always make me smile!

So, I think...and I'm not sure, but I THINK I got a virus from PK.  I've heard of computer viruses, but this is terrible.  I went to her site, read about her cold and NOW, now I've been coughing and hacking for 3 days.  I'm sure I got it from her.  Although it's not fun...I have enjoyed laying around watching cheesy television and eating chicken soup!

Bad news on the spanking front.  BUT, good news on the daughter front. 

The wild child got a promotion at work.  This is great news and I'm really happy about it.  The bad news?  Her schedule has changed, so now she's home during the day....which means, our spanking time has disappeared!  Just this very morning Bossman said my butt needed spanked!  But with the wildchild in the other room..... ~sigh~

Well, I'll let you know when this coughing thing lets up!  Hope your week is fantastic!

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The return of Friday fill-ins

I don't know if you noticed, but I seem to be posting a lot more these days.  I love posting, but I sometimes have a hard time figuring out what to post.  My life seems incredibly boring right now....but I'm not complaining, I could do with a little boredom!

My motto for life right now is simple.  Live, laugh, love.  Life is too precious to waste. 

So, lets laugh today. I don't know if my fill-ins are funny, but they make me smile because they are fun to do.  In honor of spanking, I'm going to try and make mine spanking related.

If you don't know what a friday fill in is, it's simple.  They are random sentences with blanks and we get to fill them in. 

My answers will be in bold, if you would like to play along, let me know and I'll link your blog or you can do them right in my comments!

So, let's get going already!


1. My favorite month is October.  It used to be June, but June was bad this year, so I'm going with October because October is right now and I'm happy to be here.


2. When panties are pulled down for a spanking, you can feel a fresh breeze.

3. I love to sniff my fabric softener.

4. A spanking before sex is what I like to have as a treat for breakfast. (Or english muffin with strawberry jam.)

5. The hobby I enjoy most is spanking.  (What did you think I was going to say?  Reading??)

6. Paddles and spoons and backscrathers, oh my!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hanging with my boys, tomorrow my plans include church and model railroad expo and Sunday, I want to watch football!
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pink stuff

I KNOW, I know, I said I wasn't going to mention BC month.  I can't help it.  This is really annoying me.

Do you know how many pink things there are out there for us to buy?  All under the guise that the money is going to breast cancer research.

Holy pink crap Batman....there is a lot of stuff out there.

Let me give you some examples.

I saw an ad for a breast cancer doll.  She's wearing a cute pink dress with a pink bc ribbon on it.  I also saw and I kid you NOT....pink baby leg warmers.  For real babies.  With pink ribbons on it.......

Also, in the grocery store....pink ribbon razors, pink ribbon soup and in the bakery isle?  Cookies with pink ribbon sprinkles on them.

Not to mention the pink ribbon candles for your mantle.

There are shoes, journels, hats and pins.  Picture frames, lunch coolers and baby booties.  Purses, slippers, flip-flops and ear rings!  I even saw pink ribbon candy.

The list is endless people.  I think people put pink ribbons on stuff, just to sell it.  I'm wondering how much money ACTUALLY gets to the breast cancer research. 

I admit, I have some pink stuff.  I have a hat that was D's.  It's pink and it has a pink ribbon on it.  It's sparkley and it was one of D's favorites.  My mom bought me a diamond pink ribbon pendent for me to wear while going through radiation treatment.  AND, I have a rubber pink bracelet that says "save the ta-tas", that my neice gave me and I wear it every day.

Don't get me wrong, I love pink.  I think you've seen my template here have pink on it a lot.  Pink was the color of my wedding.  I just wonder if we've taken the whole pink ribbon thing too far?  How much of the money is actually going to breast cancer research and how much of this stuff has a pink ribbon on it so you will THINK you are contributing?

So, let's just say.... I'm so grateful that there is research being done and there is so much awareness out there.  If not, I might not be here right now.  I guess I shouldn't complain.  Really, I should do my part and buy more stuff with pink ribbons...right?

I think I'll start with this pink vibrator!

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October?

Would somebody please tell me what happened to September?  How is it that October is already here?

Well, yesterday Bossman and I were getting a little naughty in bed before starting our day.  After the fun, I was laying on the bed with my butt sticking out.  Bossman took a look and noticed that he left a little bruise from the day before.

The man was proud. 

Actually, I was proud of him. 

I am hoping there is more of this action in my future. 



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a quick spanking

There was a 30 minute window between the time the baby was picked up and the time we had to pick up the little man from school.  I didn't have much hope that a spanking would occur as He was in the middle of a video game.  Come to think of it, this was one time when I wasn't even hoping or thinking about a spanking.

As I settle in to a game of Bejeweled, on Facebook, Bossman appears next to the computer.  He watches the game and since the games are only one minute, he doesn't have to wait long until the game is over.  He takes my hand and says "Come with me for a minute."

For a moment, I'm confused.  Did he want to show me his score on his game?  Did he want me to see the new part on the race car he's working on?  Why was he bugging me now?

All those thoughts collided with each other as I stood up from my chair.  When I looked up to his face, the reason he wanted to see me was clear.  Spanking time!

He said it was high time for a spanking.  Although I gave the appropriate response of no, no, no, and I don't want too......he led me to the bedroom.

He grabbed the LV (Las Vegas) backscratcher and sat down on the edge of the bed.  He pulled me between his legs and unbuttoned my jeans.  He pushed my jeans and panties down to my knees and then pulled me over his knee.

He started off with soft taps on my bottom.  They got stingyer and stingyer as he continued.  (Is stingyer a word?)  It's been a while since my bottom has had a visit from the LV, so it hurt even as they weren't that hard.  After a bit, he threw in some hard ones, mixed with the softer ones, and I never quite knew when they would land or how hard they would land.

Before I knew it....and WAY too soon, he stopped.  He pulled me up between his legs, pulled my pants up and handed me the LV.  I put the LV back where it belongs (not in the trash where it should be) and when to my side of the bed and laid down with my head on his chest.  I rubbed my hands on his chest and listened to his heart beat and I thought.....This is good!

We laid that way without speaking until it was time to pick up the little man. 

It's the little moments in life that make the biggest difference.  Enjoy your little moments this weekend!

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BC awareness month

I know, you are probably all sick of hearing it.  Frankly I'm sick of talking about it.

BUT......Since today marks the start of breast cancer awareness month, I would be remiss if I didn't mention it.

I'm only going to mention it once.  Unless I think of something else I need to say about it....in which case, I'll be mentioning it some more.

I'm not sure why breast cancer gets a month.  Other cancers don't get a month....at least I don't think they do.  I'm not sure that's fair.  Cancer is a bad thing, no matter what kind you have!  Why do we single out breast cancer?  Shouldn't it just be Cancer awareness month, instead of breast cancer awareness month? 

I rememeber when I told D about my cancer.  She cried along with me and then she said, "I know this sounds bad, but I WISH I had breast cancer."  She said that because breast cancer gets the most attention.  It gets the most funding.  There is a much better chance of recovery!  And we all know what happened to D.

So, here's the deal.  If you are a woman, do a self-exam.  Don't be afraid to feel yourself up.  Get to know your girls.  That way, when you do feel something wierd, you will know!  Also, don't feel afraid to mention it to your doctor.  Don't procrastinate.  Chances are it's nothing.  Most of the time it is, but if it isn't, you have a better chance of survival if you take care of it early.

Second, I don't care what the hell Obama says, if you are over 40, get a mammo!  Get one every year.  I had one in April of '09 and in December of '09 found my lump.  AND guess what?  I could only feel one lump and when I went for the mammo, it only showed one lump but, the ultasound showed 2.  So...see how fast they can grow?  Skipping a year on your mammo is NOT a good idea.

If you are a man....remind your woman!  Remind all the women in your life.  I know it's scary to think about, trust me, I KNOW, but isn't it better to face it now and get treated than to find it when it's too late?

So, I've done my duty.  I've given my thoughts on BC and I have reminded you all.  What you do from here is your business!

As for me, I'm done with the BC stuff.  I'm ready to move on to spanking stuff!

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The tush dance and sick kids and such...

Last week the little man came home sick.  He was sick all week.  Fever, cough and runny nose.  By Thursday I took him to the doctor.  They said it was probably a sinus infection.  All I know is that boy was really sick.  One sure way to know if your 12 year old son is sick.....see how long he lasts at video games.  When he turns down playing video games...you know he's a sick boy.

I finally sent him back to school on Monday.  Now, I don't know if I've mentioned it here, but I've started babysitting a little girl.  She's 18 months old and just precious.  Her mom works as a PE teacher for an elementary school.  Last week, the mom found someone else to watch the little angel so we wouldn't get her sick.  I thought I'd watch her again Monday.  Monday I got the call that now she's sick.  I doubt that my son made her sick, but who knows!  Luckily, nobody else in this house got sick.

I don't know how many of you watch "Dancing with the Stars" but I thought I'd share my favorite dance from last night.  If you don't want to watch the fluff in the front....fast forward to 1:52.  That is when the dance starts and I promise all you spankos will love it!

Enjoy....


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that spanking feeling

Let's talk about spanking. 

I like it!

I like reading about, thinking about it and I like having my husband spank me.  Ok, wait.  I don't actually like the spanking part.  I DO like the "before" the spanking part and I like the "after" spanking part.  The actually spanking? 

It actually hurts.

The hurt is worth it. 

Before the spanking there is always this weird naughty feeling.  Part of that feeling is me, feeling like a kinky girl.  Feeling like I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing.  Then there's the embarrassed, confused, why-in-the-world am I letting this man spank me, feeling.  There is also the naughty little girl that just needs someone to take care of her, feeling.

All that and the spanking hasn't even started yet.

Once I'm over his knee, well, the feelings change.  I tend to feel it all in the buttockal region.  (Yes, I said, bottockal)

How does that feel?  Well, it hurts. 

I've noticed though, that mood plays into how much it actually hurts.  That and implement.  If I'm in a spanking mood, sometimes it doesn't seem to hurt as much.  Maybe that depends on the time of month.  Sometimes it hurts and it doesn't seem like it's that hard, but it still hurts.  Sometimes I play mind games with myself and see how long I can go before I make a sound.  (that usually lasts about 2 swats in) 

Mostly I wonder why I'm crazy enough to let Bossman spank me.

After the spanking the feelings are different.  If the spanking has been particularly hard to take, I tend to be more subdued.  If the spanking wasn't too bad, I just feel childlike.  But also turned on.  We usually don't have sex after a spanking, but if we do....wowza!  It's usually mind blowing.  After the spanking is completely done and my pants are back up, I feel really submissive.  I also feel like I need to be around Bossman, sitting closer to him, holding his hand, or something like that.  I really feel closer to him.  It's a lovely submissive glow that follows me most of the day.

So, there you have it.  I like spanking.  I like the feelings that it brings up.  I like the close feeling I have with my husband.

Now, if I could just figure out how to bottle all this up and sell it.  I'd be RICH!


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Survivor guilt

After thinking a lot about yesterdays post, I think I realized the problem.

I have a bad case of survivor guilt.

I am one of the lucky ones.  I didn't have to lose my hair.  My side effects have been minimal!  Other than having pain from my bad neck, the radiation was a breezy.  My skin just turned reddish tan.  My doctors were very surprised.

So, I feel bad even telling people that I had cancer.  Because they look at me and they see a healthy woman.  (Thank God!)

Plus, I feel like I shouldn't complain.  After everything my sister-in-law went through, mine was nothing.   I truly feel blessed that I didn't have to go through all the stuff she went through.  But I also feel a little guilty that things weren't worse.  I KNOW!  It is stupid to feel that way.  But a small part of me feels the guilt.

Anyway, losing her was hard.  It was a lot harder than I thought it would be.  I still think of her everyday.  Last week we recieved a package from her husband.  It was her final wish that we have her personal photos and costume jewelery.  Looking through all that stuff reminded me that I am completely lucky.  It also reminded me that I miss her like crazy.  Also, it just doesn't seem fair that she's gone.  I still can't believe that she was here and now she's not.  All that is left is some photos and stuff.  She's gone.  And that is sad.

But, life moves on.  It always does. 

So let's move on with it.....

I've been thinking a lot about spanking and..... (Too bad I have to take the little man to the doctor.  Guess I'll have to discuss this topic later.)

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poster girl....I am NOT!

If you are not living under a rock, you know that breast cancer awareness month is October. Last year, it came and went without much fanfair. Now, maybe it's just me, or does it seem like everything is about BC? Does it seem like, just like Christmas, they start putting out the pink ribbons WAY before the time?

For some reason, I feel obligated to buy all the stuff with pink ribbons.

Here's the real deal.

I am not a hero! I didn't do anything heroic. I did what each and every one of you would have done. I went to the doctor. I got treatment. Just because it was cancer, doesn't make it heroic. I went and had a pap the other day.....NOT heroic...at all!

Every time someone asks about it I tell them it's no big deal.

And it really wasn't.

I had the lumps removed. I had seven weeks of radiation and now I'm done. I'm good.

I'm not heroic. I'm just damned lucky!

I'd really like to move ahead in my life. I'd like to close the BC chapter and move on.

But, the pink ribbons are everywhere! A constant reminder. And, yes....I have one of these on the back of my car.

And truth be told..... I'm really proud of that one!

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stuff

We just got back from Vegas and it was great. We gambled to much money, but we stayed in the best hotel. It was cheap but very nice and comfortable....just the way we like it. We decided to stay on Fremont street instead of the Vegas strip and I gotta say, it was worth it. The price was right, 39 bucks a night, the bed was super comfy and the room was nice. We will probably stay there next time.

The last night we were there, we bought souvenirs for the kiddos. All you parents know that you can't come home without presents! We bought the kids standard stuff, shirts and dice and crap like that. Bossman, however, bought himself a souvenir. Actually, I'm not sure if it is for him or for me.

He bought a backscratcher.

~sigh~

Any of you that have read here for any length of time will know that I despise backscratchers. They HURT!

I'm just going to pretend that he didn't buy it. Maybe if I hide it, he'll forget that he bought it....

Anyway, our trip was great. We made up for our lack of sex. Um boy, yes we did! It was splendid to come back to the room and have sex. Just like that. No worries of someone busting in on us! Somebody should have told me how much fun it is to be a grown-up without kids.

Yes, for all you detail whores, and you know who you are.... There was also spanking. Someone, and I'm not mentioning names, put a wooden hairbrush in their suitcase.

All right.....it was me!

Not sure why I did that, because the last time I had a hairbuttbrushing it was hard and intense. But it was good when it was over.

I've been thinking that spanking is a lot like having a baby. It hurts like hell when it's happening but when it's over it's really really nice. And somehow we forget how much it hurts and do it again.

I've been reading a lot on my kindle. I finally caved and bought 2 spanking books. One was a collection of short stories, mostly husband and wife, really good reads. Since I read them during the ride over to Vegas and any free time, that could explain why we had such great sex...

The other was a collection of letters that people had written about their spanking experiences. Some were husband, wife, some where teens and parents. Some were specific, like birching, or tawes and some were about the difference between sexual spanking and dicipline spanking. It's a very interesting read. I enjoyed reading the different perspectives on the subject.

Tomorrow is 9/11. I'm sure we all remember exactly what we were doing that day. It seems like yesterday. It still so hard to believe.

And yet....time goes on.

Let's enjoy our time, ok?

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A new start on life

Time has certainly flown by, hasn't it?

Last I checked I was headed camping. Camping was a success! We had tons of fun and the Boy went fishing for the first time. Not only did he catch a fish, he gutted it and ate it. (I didn't participate in any of the latter events! YUCK)

Summer has ended for us. The Boy started Jr. High school. Crazy right? I mean, when I started this blog, he was in kindergarten! I'm still amazed at how old my kids are.

Since school has started I've decided it's time to get a new start on life. The summer was a big blur and it's just nice to get back to semi-normal. We've mourned and although we will continue to mourn, we are moving on.

Another fresh start is not having cancer treatment. I went to the oncologist on Wed. and he said I was doing well. BUT....I am anemic right now and it's not due to low iron. So I went and had 5 vials of blood drawn. I should find out the results on Monday. I'm on a drug called tamoxifen for 5 years. Honestly, I thought my life was over. I've been on the cancer blogs and disscussion sites. People taking this stuff are miserible. I was scared! But...I'm doing well on it. I haven't had much of the side effects. The main one being hot flashes. YAY....this probably means it won't send me into menopause! That is a very, very good thing.

Of course I realize that writing all this down means that something is bound to happen. Surely life can't just get back to normal...can it? Let's hope I didn't just jinx it!

So, other than being tired...I'm doing good. Bossman and I are heading to Vegas on Labor day and spending the week there with NO kids. I'm excited for that, I just hope I have enough energy.

Well, enough about me. How have you been? I've missed you all!

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list

1. Going camping today, be home on Thursday, wish me luck!

2. Going to Vegas in September. No kids. Family coming from all parts of US. Will stop to see D's headstone...or whatever it is you call it.

3. Got spanked on Friday. HARD! With the hairbrush. Made sitting the next day really uncomfortable in that itchy butt, sort of way.

4. Got spanked again yesterday with some sort of wooden thing. Still sore from Friday, so all the more ouchy.

5. Today is 8-9-10 day.

6. That's all I've got! Have a good week people!

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The end of a chapter...

This weekend was the closing chapter on D. She'll never be forgotten.....but this weekend was our final act for her. We released her ashes to the sea.

Bossman and I got up at 5:45am Sunday morning. Who knew there was such a time???? I was unaware and frankly, I didn't like it very much. It was still dark but we got dressed and headed to the beach.

D's favorite beach is about 25 min from our house. When we got there, it was overcast. It was about 6:15 as we headed to the pier. I was surprised that there were people out at that time of morning. Lucky for us, nobody was on the pier.

We weren't sure what we were going to do. The ashes came in a box, which came in another box, which held a lidded round glass box...which had a green velvet draw string bag...you know, the kind that would hold a piece of jewelry...which held a little baggie of ashes.

So, Bossman had the green velvet baggie in his pocket and we walked out to the end of the pier. We took a couple of pictures for her husband. Then we stood there and looked out at the ocean. I said, "Ok, lets do this." and the I said some things about D. While I said them, Bossman poured the ashes out. It was sort of magical. The ashes almost looked like a ghost or a spirit as they floated out into the air. The just sort of disappeared into the air.

Bossman and I stood there for a long time just looking out into the vast ocean. Then Bossman carved D's initials into the pier railing. (I KNOW...not only did we unlawfully dump human ashes, we also defaced public property.)

There was no wind and although the sun didn't come out, it wasn't to cold. We sat on a bench and talked about how we had done everything we could for D. Then we talked about Bossman's other sister...she's so far into drugs and alcohol that she will either end up in prison or in the grave very soon. It's so sad. Bossman is the oldest of 3 and he may very well end up being the only one left. We feel so helpless that we couldn't save D and we feel even more helpless that we can't help M, and she's doing it to herself. What a waste of life.

After sitting out there talking for a while we headed back to the car and decided to go out for breakfast.

All in all, it was a very nice, peaceful ending to a beautiful life.

So, that was my weekend....tell me something fun. Tell me what YOU did this weekend!

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the package

Today is one month. One month since D passed. I miss her so much it hurts.

Of course the drama, the drama never dies!

Before I get to the drama, I'll get to the package.

The UPS guy comes to the door yesterday with a package. I had a pretty good idea what was in the package and a quick peek at the return address told me I was correct.

I immediately took the package to my room. I closed the door and started to cry.

The package was D. Well, part of D anyway.

Her wishes were to have part of her ashes spread at her favorite beach and part spread in a horse arena. The rest to be placed in the....what do you call it??....place where they put ashes at the cemetary. It's a wall of sorts, with plaques with the deceased names on it and they put the ashes in the wall.

Anyway....

So, the ashes came. I didn't think it would bother me so much....but I couldn't stop myself from thinking morbid thoughts. Like....

The last time D walked down this hall we were laughing about her flight being delayed back home.

The last time D was here, she was busy curling her hair and brushing her teeth in this bathroom that we just passed.

GAH! I could go on...but I think you get it.

It's just weird.

And, it's also illegal to spread human ashes at our beach. But we'll do it anyway.

Now, I know you are still reading because you want to hear about my drama. Seriously, if I were you, I'd be wanting to read about the drama. Don't deny it....my drama keeps you entertained.

My life would be so boring without all the drama...LOL

So, Sunday evening Bossman gets a call on his cell phone. He checks the caller ID and it's his dad. He picks up the phone and starts listening intently. He's not saying anything and he's getting a frown line in between his eyes. I immediately think someone else has died. He puts his finger up...motioning to me, just a minute....and then he puts his phone on speaker.

All I hear is the Debil screeching in the background and then the phone shuts off.

I don't know what she was saying, but Bossman heard plenty. Apparently, she was trying to make my FIL call us for info. I'm not sure WHAT info she wanted....but info is what she wanted. According to Bossman, the Debil was using her most hateful tone...which I think is her normal tone, to tell the FIL to call us and find out something. The FIL, using his most whipped voice ever, was telling her she better stay close so he says the right thing.

Bossman was PISSED!

So mad that he immediately went into the bedroom so he could call them back.

He told his father that he wasn't going to tolerate the Debils tone of voice anymore. He wasn't going to talk to her and as far as he was concerned he didn't want anything to do with her. He told his father that she was hateful and rude and unless and until she apologized and stopped acting hateful he was never going to speak to her again. He told his father that she will be lucky if he shows up to her funeral! He also told his father that he would be very happy if he divorced her. He told his father that he has lost ALL respect for someone that allows his wife to talk to him with that tone....and he wasn't putting up with it anymore. He said if his father wanted to talk to him about other things, that was fine, but he was DONE with his mother.

The FIL didn't say anything. At the end of the speech, the FIL asked if there was something else going on with D. (Uh...what??) Bossman, in the heat of anger, said, "Yes, but I'm not telling you!" and then he hung up the phone.

Now, I'm not sure what info they were after. The only thing left with D is the ashes, but I just recieved those yesterday. I mentioned to an Aunt, when D first passed, that we hoped her hubby would honor her wishes about the ashes at the beach....but that was at the beginning and I didn't know anything then.

So, we can only assume that the Aunt asked the Debil what was happening with the ashes. The Debil must have wanted to know. BUT, guess what?

We decided not to tell anyone about the ashes. Bossman and I decided to honor D's ashes alone, just the two of us. We already had the memorial, so there isn't a need for another, and we weren't about to tell the Debil about the ashes. As it is, Bossmans youngest sister said something about having some ashes to wear around her neck....eww! Bossman and I both agree that is just too creepy and D wouldn't have wanted that!

So, hopefully, this ends the drama portion of the summer. Hopefully the Debil will not call here anymore. Bossman made it perfectly clear that he was done with her. One morning soon, Bossman and I will get up with the sunrise, take D's ashes to the beach and fufill her final request.

I am under no grand illusion that the Debil drama is over. But from past experience, I know she won't call here for a long time. It will probably be months before we hear from her again. Now that D is gone she has no reason to call....or have her minion call...here anymore.

For that.....I am truly grateful!

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Drama free table for one....please?

Thanks for all the comments. I've been reading them and some of them (NICK) cracked me up!

The memorial was very dignified and I know D would have been happy with it. And yes, the Debil wore her hajeeb. (Is that what they call it??)

So, I bet you are all wondering about the condom. What a proud moment that was in my life.

I suppose you could say I brought it on myself. Of course I knew that when we went out of town that she would have "the boy" over. Although he's really not a boy....

I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me start from the beginning. A very good place to start, according to the Sound of Music....LOL

When D died, we had to go to Vegas. The wildchild didn't want to go. She said she could only handle one memorial service so she opted to go to the one here in town. That was fine with us, as we needed someone to take care of the dog.

So, on the day we are heading back from Vegas I get a call from the wildchild. She tells me that this boy she likes is taking a train from Southern Cali, to visit her. Actually, she said he was going to move here.

The story goes, the boy, (Oh wait, he's a MAN....he's freaking 26.) was living with his grandma, and the grandma got put in a nursing home and he was now homeless. He figured he might as well be homeless here in our town instead of being homeless there. Where he grew up. Where his family is.

So, he decides to take a train here. My daughter....19 years old.....told him not to come, but he came.

When we got home from Vegas, she was just going to pick him up from the train. I asked where he was staying the night, but the wildchild had no idea where he was staying.

Around 11 that night, he's still here. Bossman started calling homeless shelters...but they don't answer at 11 at night. Mind you, this is a guy we don't know. We only met him once before. So, we tell the wildchild he can't stay here. She's upset, because she's has a kind heart and doesn't want to just leave him on the street. Frankly, neither did we...but we didn't invite him or tell him he could stay with us. AND...he's 26 YEARS OLD!

So, the wildchild finds a friend to let him sleep on the couch.

And this is how it works out for the next 2 weeks.

Every morning he shows up at my door for the wildchild. He leaves with the wildchild when she goes to work, he comes home with the wildchild when she gets off of work and she takes him to the friends house at 11 at night.

Every time I saw the wildchild, he was with her. Oh, did I mention he had NO money. He had nothing. So she was buying him food and driving him everywhere.

So now, we are going to Disney. Of course the wildchild can't go because she has to work and she has a leech hanging on to her.

We KNEW she would have him over all night. I mean, I'm not as dumb as I look...

But what could we do? We had to just pretend we didn't know.... Of course I gave her the safe sex talk, which she totally poo-poo'd.

We get home from Disney and I'm vegging on the couch. It had been a LOOOOOONG drive home and I was tired. The little man walks into the living room and says, " I don't know what this is, but the dog just brought this from the wildchild's room." He's looking down, so I look down and there is the used condom....on his foot.

Um.......

Right......

So, he scurries out of the room and I pick up the thing....YUCK....and walk to the wildchild's room. I knock because god knows what I'll find in there....and when she opens the door, I hand her the condom and say " I have a present for you." And then.....I slam the door.

Now, I'm not sure how Bossman didn't notice all this going on....but he didn't. I wasn't sure what my next move was going to be, so I went and sat back down....to think.

About 30minutes later, I'm still sitting there trying to decide what the hell I was going to do. Bossman comes into the room and tells me the little man isn't feeling well and when asked he said he was sick and that the wildchild was in big trouble. Heh.

So, I had to tell Bossman what happened.

cue the scary music.

He was NOT a happy camper.

BUT, to his credit, he decided to let me handle it. Um, yeah.....I wasn't sure what the heck I was suppose to do.

So, meanwhile, they somehow snuck out of the house. I called her and told her to get back home so we could have it out and DON'T bring him with her.

When she came home, I talked and talked and talked. I told her he wasn't welcome in our house anymore. I told her it was disrespectful to pull that crap in our house. I told her I was glad she used a condom, but did she KNOW how many people that guy has slept with? Because she just slept with all of them. I said I hoped to god the condom didn't have a hole or break because we'll know in 9 months.

So, she left. Then she told him to GO HOME!

Of course he had to find someone to send him money. I think he finally got his mother to wire him some money because she took him to the train station and he's GONE! YAY!

The little man is fine....and YES, he knew exactly what it was....why do you think he brought it to me on his foot??? Smart kid.

As for the wildchild??? I don't know what the heck I'm gonna do with her. I'm thinking it's time for her to move OUT! GAH!

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remind me again....

Ok, Disney was ok. It was lovely watching my son have such a good time. We took his friend with us and the two boys cracked us up the entire time. It was africa hot there and I was miserable, but Oh well.....it's life. I couldn't go on most of the rides, due to my neck, but I still managed to go on some. Anyway, I survived and now I just want some peace and quiet!

Oh wait....I live with a 19 year old and a 12 year old...there is no peace or quiet in this house.

Oh...and there was drama when we returned from Disney with the wild child. I don't call her the wildchild for nothing.....she delivered right on schedule. But I'll tell that story another day.

Today, I'll finish up the Debil story.

When last I posted. I had just finished telling you how we were having a memorial for D in our town and we were bracing for the debil. This will be the first time she's stepped foot in our church for numerous years and YES, she would wear her hajeeb? (you know....the head scarf thingy)

We had managed a few discussions with my FIL. We told him we didn't not want drama. If there was to be drama, Bossman and his father were going to get up and escort her out of the church. We already warned the sound guys to turn off her mic...should she get a hold of one.

The FIL assured us that she didn't want to say anything at the memorial. YAY! I was so relieved!

Until the day before the memorial. The FIL calls. I answer. He says the Debil has decided she wants to speak at the memorial....

cue the scary music.....

I think I said...."uh, no?" Yes, I do have a way with words, don't I?

I then handed the phone to Bossman. Smart move on my part....

Bossman listens a few minutes and then says things like, nope, no, NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

He realizes that the Debil is listening in on the conversation. He tells his father that his mother is not a nice person, she's burned all her bridges and WHAT in the HELL could she possibly need to say to our church?

Now, let me clarify. We are not mean people. We sent them a copy of the eulogy and we asked them if they had anything they would like to add. FIL called and wanted me to add a few comments that he remembered...which I did. THEN he called and said that the Debil wanted to have her name in the eulogy changed..... That's right folks, she wanted her name different from the one she uses and the one that everyone knows her by. THANK god it wasn't a mus*lim name. So, although we were NOT happy.....we did it. Just to limit the drama. We also asked them for pictures because I made a slide show. The FIL....he brought me ONE...ONE picture is all they could come up with. Apparently they were in a shed somewhere in the back and they didn't have time to get to them....although.....they had 2 weeks....

Thank goodness I had pictures.

So now suddenly, she wants to speak that the memorial.

Um NO! That wasn't going to happen. Bossman told them NO! After a very uncomfortable conversation with his father, Bossman hung up the phone. He had said no and I was very happy.

Of course, it's never as simple as that. A couple of hours later there was another call from the FIL. This time he was alone. He tried to tell Bossman that she wasn't going to say anything bad, but she wanted to clarify things. What thing? You ask? She wanted to make sure that everyone knew she was raised by her parents and they were good people dammit! (Ok, I added the dammit for dramatic purposes....LOL)

Bossman told his Dad no again. He and the pastor were the only two that would be speaking at this memorial. If the Debil got out of hand...we would deal with it.

Finally, the day of the memorial, the FIL called and said she wasn't going to be speaking after all. DUH!!!! Of course she wasn't. We weren't letting her and that was that.

Now, doesn't it strike you all funny that WE...Bossman and I...are the ones doing the memorial, instead of her PARENTS???

Well, the memorial was a success! The Debil behaved herself and everything was nice. She sat in the back of the church and was very cold to us...but we could have cared less.

After the service, we had a pot-luck. I waited to see what the Debil had in store...but amazingly enough, everyone was very kind to her and she behaved herself. I think she enjoyed the attention everyone was giving her. The people of my church are AWESOME! They treated her with kindness and warmth. I was really proud. I was proud of Bossman for being such an awesome brother and speaking such wonderful words about his sister. I know D would have been really, really proud of how everything turned out.

When we went to say goodbye to the Debil, she was sitting with a few of our church friends. People she's known for 20 plus years. We walked up and she told Bossman that he did a really great job and she was proud of him. So, that was nice. Until...

One of the friends at the table knew how much work I had done for it. So she said, Grace did a lot too! The Debil just glared at me. HAHAHAHAHA! Whatever, you old bat! LOL

So, now that it's over I can breath a sigh of relief. It's going to be a long time before life can get back to normal, but I'm just glad D isn't suffering anymore. I will miss her. She and I would have spent hours on the phone discussing the Debil and all her drama. We called it the "mama drama".

Oh, and the name change in the eulogy? Bossman skimmed over it so fast...I don't think anyone noticed....LOL

Next post: What to do when your dog carries a used condom out of your teenagers bedroom...

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Who put the fun in funeral?

We promised the little man we would take him and a friend to Disneyland this summer. We promised that when I was done with treatment we would take him. And we were suppose to go two weeks ago.

Then....well...you know what happened.

But now, now we will go because...

We promised...dammit!

So....

Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to Disney we go....

We leave tomorrow. I'm not to thrilled. I just started new meds and I'm tired from the last two weeks and, and, and.....BLAH!

But, we will go. And dammit...we will be HAPPY!

Lord knows we could use some happy right now. Plus, Friday will be D's birthday and what better way to celebrate than at the happiest place on earth....right? Somebody agree with me!!!!

Before I go, I'll leave you with a tid-bit of mus*lim goodness.

SHE....wasn't invited to the memorial in Vegas. As a matter of fact, there was a time when D said she didn't want her parent coming to her memorial OR to even know where she was going to be buried.

I'm pretty sure that was D's way of protecting her husband and his family. I mean, his family did everything for her and the mus*lim? Well, for the first year and a half, after D was diagnosed....they didn't even speak. It was only last December, when D came to visit us that she decided to visit her mother and father. So, the last 6 months have been sort of a reconciliation. BUT, no love fest. The, (well, I shouldn't call her the muslim...for that is disrespectful to muslims when I use it in a derogatory way...right?.....let's see, lets just call her the Debil, like in the Waterboy) Debil loves to talk about all things islamic. Every conversation includes the words mohammad and quran, even though we have all clearly told her we are not interested in that kind of stuff.

The Debil thinks that she is the head of the household. We should honor and respect her...LOL and that she should be able to tell us ANYTHING and we should respect her enough to listen to what she has to say. EVEN if she tries telling my then 8 year old son that the Americans bombed the world trade center and that the air force base near our house has hidden bunkers with prisoners in it that the Americans are torturing.

Also, she also hates everyone....she's told and aunt that she hates me. I'm a back-stabbing liar. She's told my daughter that the aunt is a bitch. (yes, apparently the Debil cusses) She's told Bossmans youngest sister that we are all liars.

Yes, the Debil likes to pit her kids against each other. Isn't that what parents are suppose to do?

As a result of this charming personality.....the Debil has no friends. She has no life outside of her computer where she chats it up with others of her kind. She's even gone so far as to tell us all that she wants to change her last name to a friends last name that she met online. I don't know his last name....but his first is.....well, you guessed it....it's mohammad. I'm not sure where this guy lives...but she sends him money and wants to move to his country.

Of course, I know what your thinking.....where the hell is her husband? I think he lives in candy land. It's the land of gum-drop forest and candy cane lanes. According to him, he's just along for the ride and.....I kid you not....he's just waiting for Jesus to come again.

That pretty much sums up why the Debil wasn't invited to the memorial. Did I mention that she hates D's in-laws? D's MIL made the mistake of calling the Debil and asking for money. The money was to help D travel to and from Houston. You know...to save her LIFE?? The Debil didn't like that. So, the Debil told the MIL off. So, you can probably guess how the MIL feels about the Debil. Not to crazy about her....

So, back to the memorial. D didn't want the Debil there and the in-laws were in full agreement. We were the only family to attend the one in Vegas. There was NO mention of the Debil at the memorial. As a matter of fact, there is an online memorial page and the biography doesn't even list the Debil as a survivor. As hateful as the Debil sounds....even I couldn't believe they weren't mentioned as survivors.

Regardless of how the picture has been painted....when Bossman and D were growing up, they didn't have a terrible childhood. There was no abuse, the Debil wasn't mus*lim yet and although they were raised in a strict christian home....it was not terrible. So, although the last couple of years have been bad...I do think they should have been listed as survivors.

AND....they are her parents and although they are misguided...LOL They are also mourning the loss of their middle child.

Needless to say, the Debil was not happy when she found the website. Nor was she happy that she wasn't invited to Vegas.

Since we live 6 hours from Vegas and D grew up where we live, we decided to have our own memorial. We couldn't keep the Debil from coming to ours. For one, the Debils hubby goes to our church. For two, we weren't planning on hiring bodyguards to keep the Debil out of our church.

We were....I should say...I was completely worried that the Debil would cause trouble. She hates everyone at our church. She hates me....and she's not very happy with Bossman, since he hasn't talked to her for 2 months. As a matter of fact....she was really pissed that we didn't call her with our condolences. But we didn't care. We were doing the memorial and she wasn't going to ruin it.

Except she wanted to say something at the funeral.

Too bad I don't have time to tell you the rest....LOL

I'll let you know if Disney really is the happiest place on earth. Frankly, I don't think so. I think the happiest place on earth is my couch with a cool drink and a good book. But, I could be wrong.

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