GAH!

March 12th, Bossman and I celebrated our 23 wedding anniversary.  Over the weekend, we went to Monterey Ca.  It's beautiful up there.  We took the 17 mile scenic drive and stopped at Pebble Beach golf course.  WOW!  It's amazing there.

We didn't only go up there for our anniversary.  In the same area is an academy.  It's a high school academy.  We are thinking of sending our little man there for high school.  You might have guessed this, but it's a boarding school.  It is 3 hours away from us.

So, yeah....thinking of sending my little man to boarding school.  YIKES!!!!  I never thought I would be saying something like that.  BUT....this school has so much to offer.  BUT...I wouldn't see my baby every day.  BUT...it's such an awesome campus and school.  BUT....it's my BABY!!!!!

You guys!  What am I thinking? 

GAH!

I had other things to write....but I'm too busy thinking about sending my son to school that I forgot what else I was going to write about.

I guess I'll have to remember and write about it later....

GAH!


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burden or not

Bossman and I were discussing my need for spanking.  I brought up other bloggers and how some are using spanking in their lives.  After talking about how some use it to help with depression and (well that sounds kind of bad....but I think you know what I mean) other things, Bossman said that it sounded like a huge burden on the HOH.

Maybe burden is not the right word for it.  He said it seemed like it would be a lot for the husband to take on....being responsible for another persons life, or happiness, or...well, again, you know what I mean.

So, is it a burden?  Is it a lot for a husband or HOH to take on in a relationship? 

Maybe I'm expecting too much out of my husband.  I certainly don't want to be a burden.  I already have a lot of things that make me a burden...I don't want to add spanking to the burden list.

BUT....if it makes the relationship better....is it still a burden?

This is what has been rattling around in my brain. 

Any of you have answers?

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motivation is a good thing

It was a bad week.  My neck was giving me trouble, so I was limited in mobility. 

The good news is I'm doing much better today.

Thank you all for your comments on the last post.  I'm am always struck by the fact that everyone has a story.  We don't often think about others and their stories.  We get so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget that others are suffering and others have stories.  The blogs I read usually only tell one side of a person.  The blog side of a person is only what we (the blogger) want you to know about us.  Blogging is only a snippet of what our lives look like in real life. 

For instance, I have a really good life.  I am not always sick and down.  I do have my good days.  Of course, the good days are overshadowed by the bad and that isn't good.  Am I making any sense?

So, lets talk about spanking.  More specifically, my spankings.

I KNOW....can you believe there have been spankings around here?

It all started a couple of weeks ago. The day before Valentines day, to be exact.  Bossman and I were discussing life...as we do...and we realized that our relationship was....well....it just was bland.  When a person has health problems, the house tends to fall apart AND the healthy spouse has a lot more to deal with than usual.  When that happens, it seems that we let the rest of our relationship just get stagnate.

I'm about to admit something I'm not proud of.  I've become rather lazy.  My medications make me tired, so I use that to get out of doing things.  "I'm so tired....I'm so very tired" is my favorite thing to say. 

Now don't get me wrong.  I am not lying.  I AM tired.  BUT, it really doesn't mean I can't do anything.  Plus, I can do stuff in the morning, when I'm the least tired. 

Here's the kicker....I NEED motivation.  You know something?  I am a pretty smart person.  I know exactly what I should be doing.  It's like dieting, I know what I should and shouldn't be eating, but does that stop me from eating the chips?  Nope. 

I think I've now established that I need motivation.  Luckily, Bossman likes to give motivation. 

Problem is, Bossman doesn't like to give motivation when he thinks it's undeserved.  He knows my struggles. 

I think I've convinced him that I could use the motivation and that he should be able to tell when I'm just tired or when it's something more. 

Do I think that's a lot to ask from him?  I don't.  The reason I don't is because he knows me better than I know myself...usually.  I trust him.

So, after our initial conversation, he started talking to me more.  He started telling me his thoughts, his disappointments, most importantly, his expectations.  Not that we didn't talk before, but talking about my health, or the kids, or the house...well that wasn't cutting it.

The talking began...

He began to tell me about things that were making him feel undermined.  Things that I would do that would make him feel bad.  Ok, bad isn't really the right word.  More like it didn't make him feel dominate.  You know...in charge.  Maybe I mean, masculine.  Yes, masculine. 

Guess what?  I got it.  He made sense.  I didn't like hearing that I was making him feel that way.  I want him to feel masculine.  It's what makes me attracted to him.  That and his dominance.  We've been talking about ways we can change things and one of the ways was....you know....

Spankings....

The spankings have been unexpected.  I mean, he didn't seem much interested and I was sort of not caring.  I believe he's caring about it now. 

I believe I care now.

There is nothing like a sore bottom to put things into perspective.  There is nothing like a spanking to make you feel more connected to your spouse.

There is nothing that makes me feel more like living than.....

You guessed it....

A spanking!


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