Yesterday was a hectic day at work. Busy busy busy, and don't get me started on all the stupid people...sheez.
Anyway, I was not in a very good mood. Thinking about the holidays makes me in a bad mood...and I will write a blog about that later. So we talked about thanksgiving, and I got in a bad mood, and then I had to work for 9 hours...yuck. It wasn't the start of a great day, that's for sure. But then in the middle of the day, out of no where, the service desk calls back and says...hey girl, you got flowers up here. Me? Flowers? Are you sure? Yep, Bossman sent me flowers. Nice sunflowers, with a card that reads...You brighten our day.
AWWWW....ain't that sweet? How jealous was everyone at work? Heheheh, you just gotta love it. The day got considerably better after that. How could it not.
Back in the breakroom, one of the gals asked who they were from, and I told her, and she looked at me with a shocked looked and said, is it your anniversary? Nope, I smirk. Wow, you are a lucky girl. Why yes, yes I am! How lucky am I? god, I love my husband. He is so loving. So kind. I can't even decribe how much I love this man. He is my soul. He is my everything.
So then the little voice, deep in the back of my brain, that won't shut up, starts up with....you don't really deserve this. Your not worthy of this, your not even a good wife.
Why does this voice have to come up? Why does my brain automatically go to negative thoughts. I hate this voice. I despise this voice. This voice is nothing but trouble.
So I have decide today, that this voice will have power no more. I will not fall prey to it's negative thoughts. I will not listen to this voice that has no reason. I will not. I will think of the positive. I will embrace the love that is around me without question, and I will not succumb to the negative.
So I say, with a positive outlook, but a nagging voice in the back of my mind......sigh
later.......
Patrick..you are so right. I don't know why it's so hard to accept, but that voice...that awful voice...sigh
ReplyDeleteI am really lucky, I will just keep repeating that over and over and over...eventually it will sink in. I hope!
Trying to see myself in the way he sees me? Ha, that's the problem. I can't see myself that way. So I constantly think to myself that he could do so much better.
ReplyDeleteBut you made me realize that it is pretty insulting, to not accept how he sees me.
I'm still mulling that one over in my head.