I am having a birthday on Friday. I'm not really feeling very excited about it. It's not that I'm upset about getting older. That part doesn't bother me. I'm not really sure why I'm not caring about it. The only thing I can think of is that my Grandma passed away last Sept. and I am still waiting for the birthday card. She sent me a birthday card every year. It always had money in it, and I would always spend a month ahead of time anticipating the money and what I would buy with it. It wasn't even a lot of money, but it was money that I didn't have to feel guilty about spending on myself. And it was soooo fun thinking of all the things I might do with it.
I would think....hhhmmmm, maybe a new shirt, or maybe that pair of earrings I've been looking at, but never actually buy. Anyway, I can't even tell you what I've bought with the money over the years, because that wasn't even the important part, and that's not the part I miss. I just miss my Grandma. I miss running out to get the mail and looking for the birthday card. I miss that connection with my Grandma. Everyday this week I've checked the mail, and I've looked for the postmark, even though I knew it wouldn't be there. Every year, for the past 36 years, I've gotten a card from her in the mail. It was my mail, for me. When I turned into an adult, and bills started to come, her card was the best mail I got all year. Because she always remembered. Always. Now on my 37th birthday, I'll have to celebrate without my card. Without that connection that drew me close to her. Without her to say, Happy birthday. ~sigh~
I never really thought I would be this upset about a silly little card, but I guess it's those silly little things in life that make the most difference to us. It's those little things that mean the most. And now I'm wondering, did she know how much that meant to me? Did she know how much I enjoyed getting those cards from her? I hope so. I hope I told her before it was too late.
Tell the people in your life how much they mean to you. Tell them how much that card in the mail makes your day special. Tell them before it's too late.....
later........
Grace, my grandmother has sent me a birthday card almost every year with money inside. For years it was a single quarter, lovingly wrappped in a bit of paper towel. A few years ago she started sending a dollar. With 15 grandchildren and a slew of great grandchildren (even one great-great!), and a very fixed income, that dollar costs her a lot. Now she's in her eighties, and terribly forgetful, and I didn't get a card this past year. Obviously not getting the dollar wasn't a big deal, but I did miss the love she packed it with. I keep wondering if she'll be here for my next birthday. I know how much you miss her, and I'm sorry this is so hard for you. Just think about all the love she sent in those envelopes and how you'll always be able to know how special she knew you to be.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Tracy
Thanks for your comment. I guess I just didn't realize how hard it was going to be, even with all these months that have past.
ReplyDeleteIt's the little things that she used to do that I miss the most!
Enjoy your Grandma while you can. She sounds very special! :)
Firstly, hope you have a lovely birthday despite your feelings of loss. Grandmas are always special, aren't they? Mine was great. Miss her loads, and it will be 15 years on the 8th. I concur with angelbrat, great sentiment, think of all those envelopes...
ReplyDeleteTouching blog.
Autumn
Liked the blog about taking care of the marriage as well as the children. Makes an awful lot of sense. The poor guys who are married to mere mothers.
ReplyDeleteAutumn
Thanks for commenting Autumn!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the birthday wishes, I think Bossman has some surprises up his sleeve, so I don't think it will be as bad as I make it to be.
You are so right about those men, I can't imagine being so blind as to think your husband is just going to sit around and wait for you to be a mother. And then these same mothers will wonder why their husbands are having affairs....so sad!