Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Hmmm, I just read Ambers blog...and I'd link it, but I don't know how! (I know, I'm so lame when it comes to computers!)

Anyway, back to Ambers blog. Isn't it funny how we perceive ourselves? Isn't it funny how aging is such a horrible thing...and yet we all do it? I'm approaching 40. I know, that is not old. But I've been married for almost 17 years, and I was a very very different person when I got married. I have a teenager. Is there anybody on earth that throws your age in your face better than a teen? All I have to do is look at her, and I feel like I'm 80.

But then there is Bossman. He tells me I'm beautiful everyday. He tells me he can't keep his hands off of me. He WANTS me. Everyday.

I can't tell you how this makes me feel. Part of me is flattered and even a little shocked that someone feels that way about me. Even though I've been with Bossman a long time, I still can't believe that he wants to be with me. I ask myself...why me? Why does he want me? What do I have to offer this man who offers me the world? I feel like I can't offer him anything. I feel like even if I had something to offer...it wouldn't even be good enough for him. It's like buying that special someone a present, and then the present he gives you is 10 times better.

And why can't I accept a present that is way better than the one I give, without feeling guilty and unworthy? Is this low self esteem? Because I just don't think I have low self esteem in the rest of my life. I am very self assured in my work. (that I am about to shove...see last blog!) And I am very self assured at church, and with my friends. Certainly I am worth any gift I receive.

So why is it so hard to accept that Bossman thinks I'm beautiful. Why is it so hard for me to accept that Bossman loves me so much he would do anything for me? Why can't I just see what he sees in me?

And then there is aging. We are all aging. We are aging right now. And all the people on TV that look so wonderful...well, I might look that good if I sat in hair and makeup for 3 hours.

So we should accept the fact we are aging, we should embrace our age. We shouldn't be upset with the lines and the grays. But TV makes us feel old. It makes us feel un-pretty. I'm blaming the media, because that's better than blaming myself.

Now, if I could just see myself through Bossmans eyes. That would be nice.

later.......