Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. (Since NONE of my friends are normal...I might just have a chance with this one!)

7 comments:

  1. Hey!!! I resemble that last comment!

    So, Grace, are you stalling for time? You've asked so many rhetorical questions but have provided all of us with so few details. Are you going to be divulging the wonder of the oil and the Seminex? Will you be sharing more toy reviews? Has Bossman signed you up for any classes? And btw how is the little man's neck? Come on, we're full of questions and I had the chance to ask before PK!

    *hugs*
    CeeCi

    ReplyDelete
  2. Grace, how long did it take you to think up these.
    Do you really think you are normal, I know damn well I'm not.
    Not normal people are much more fun, thanks for the fun dear girl.
    Love and warm hugs,
    Paul.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Paul you are so right. Normal people are no fun at all! Grace, love your sense of humor. Thanks for the giggles this morning.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Don't worry Paul, I have met this women and you do not have to worry about her being normal.

    Grace you are a hoot. I think each one of these questions needs some deep thought. Come lay by my pool and we will ponder them.

    Hugs,
    PK

    ReplyDelete
  5. That is without a doubt the most outrageous and incredibly truthful thing I have ever read!

    I've been doing the remote control thing for about a week......in two rooms. I'll admit it.

    Huggs
    Theresa

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh yeah, thanks...I need a new mattress!

    Huggs
    T

    ReplyDelete