Speaking of sexy....
I feel like everything is on hold around here. Bossman and I have talked. He feels like I made him a villian in my other post. I honestly didn't mean to make him that way, he most certainly is NOT the villian in this story. If anything, he's the hero. He's the one that takes care of me. I couldn't get through this without him.
But, I feel like I'm fragile. I don't FEEL fragile, but I feel like I'm being treated like I'm fragile. Sex seems off. I know he doesn't want to touch the affected boob...and that's ok. But, he has sort of said that we are just going to have to wait until my treatment is over. Like we can't really be "normal" until the treatments are over.
I guess I can see the point, but I don't want to wait. I want him to spank me. I want him to make love to me. I don't want him to be upset when I talk about my treatments. Mostly, I wish I didn't have to walk on eggshells.
Sure, the treatments will be over in 6 more weeks. BUT, after that I get to start some hormone pills. Or, should I say, anti-hormone pills. I'm told that I will probably experience menapausal symptoms. YAY me. I'm guessing I will probably be even more fun to be around when I start that. I feel like until now everything was fine, but now that treatments have started....life just isn't going to be the same. When I say life, I mean my SEX life. Yep, cancer sucks!
Thing is, I shouldn't complain. I am getting off easy. I don't have to have chemo. All this stuff shouldn't be bothering me...right? I should just be happy with what I have. AND, I AM happy. But I thought women were in their sexual peak in their 40's. I'm about to turn 42. I think I'm going to miss my sexual peak. Stupid cancer!
So, what have we learned from this post?
Bossman is not the villian.
Cancer sucks.
I'm a big baby.
I think that just about covers it.
Written while ignoring laundry by::
Yes. Cancer does suck.
ReplyDeleteNo doubt about it. I wish for you that you have all you need to feel wonderful about you and your life and your sexuality...
Bless you.
I never for one second saw Bossman as a villain. But of courses I got to meet him and see how much you two love each other.
ReplyDeleteYour current normal isn't the same as your past normal and it won't be your normal a year from now but you'll get through it. Yes going through menopause may suck but it doesn't always. I haven't had a period since the very month I came out to Nick. That was when I began menopause. It has been the most sexual time of my life.
Assure Bossman that a hand spanking won't hurt anything!!! It's a good excuse to avoid the backsctatcher but it will be a good connection and who knows where it will lead. (Hey at least Bossman still reads what you post. That makes him a good guy.)
Hugs,
PK
Grace, Thinking of you and your family. Don't feel bad about telling us how you are feeling.I am sure lots of emotionsa re running rampant through all this. I don't envy you soon to be going through menopause, but yep sex and spanking can still happen with those symptoms.
ReplyDeleteI never saw him as a villain either. :) But I do understand how you're feeling as far as being treated like you're fragile. And you're not a big baby! Love you and praying for you!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Tracy
Grace, yes cancer can be difficult.
ReplyDeleteNo you are certainly not a baby, though at 42, from my POV definitely a babe.
You have every reason to feel fragile, but I don't believe that a good spanking and some vigorous sex would hurt at all, except in a good way that is. :D
What I know about the menopause is only hearsay, wiser heads than mine have addressed that.
Keeping you in my thoughts.
Love and warm hugs,
Paul.
Bossman's not a villian, and you're not a big baby. Try to keep talking; you both need the comfort of each other's arms right now. Sex may be better right now (if you each come to desire it) than when you are adjusting to the new medication. You will adjust to that too, but it may take time to learn your way around your new body. The thing to remember is that you are both going through cancer, and must try to cling together, and help each other. Keep writing, and tell him to keep reading - and talk about your fears - each of you (big and little).
ReplyDeleteYou aren't a big baby, but you do have a right to be one now and then if you feel like it.
ReplyDeleteI think I can understand the fragile feelings you are having. But I do think the radiation will be over before your 40's end though, right?
I hope it helps for you to come here and write how you are feeling. We're good listeners out here!
Love you!
Huggs!
Theresa