The return to spanking

As I said in my earlier post, we stopped spanking.  I’m not sure exactly when it happened.  We just gradually stopped.  We didn’t talk about it, we didn’t plan it, it just happened.

When I realized that we stopped I didn’t realize it had ended for good.  I figured there would come a point when we would talk about it and possibly start again.  But we didn’t.  I stopped coming to my blog, I stopped reading other spanking blogs.  I stopped thinking about it.  Ok, I didn’t stop thinking about it.  I did, however, stop thinking about it, as much.

Eventually I decided I wasn’t going to pursue it any more.  It was just too much to think about.  Bossman and I were in a weird place in our relationship.  I mean, we were still in love, but things were just weird.  Bossman wasn’t happy with our sex life and I just didn’t want to be bothered.  Our lives were rather busy and it just wasn’t a priority.

We decided that 2019 should be the year we make our marriage a priority.  Actually, Bossman decidedl that.  I didn’t realize things were bad.  I realized that we might not have been as active in the bed, but I didn’t realize it was a problem.  Maybe I just had my head stuck in my private shell.  I guess you could say I was just taking everything for granted, including Bossman.

The last couple of weeks we have been doing a lot of talking.  Bossman brought up spanking, and honestly, I didn’t know what to think.  I am actually scared to start it again.

For one thing, spankings hurt.  It’s been so long since I’ve had one, I was a little scared about the pain of it.  And what about the disappointment?  Did I want to get myself excited just to be disappointed all over again?

In the end, I said we could give it a try.  Bossman gave me a spanking last week.  It wasn’t very hard but it was enough to leave some marks.  I feel like we have been closer the last week.  We are still talking about if and how we can make this something that will actually work in our relationship without causing so much turmoil as it did last time.  I’m still on the fence on how this will work.  I guess I don’t want to get my hopes up.  I certainly don’t want to end up where we did last time.

We shall see how this all pans out.  In the meantime, we are trying to spend more time thinking about each other and less time thinking of ourselves.  I bought some relationship books with suggestions on communication and since that seems to be our biggest problem let’s hope we can get some ideas.

Bossman is the one that suggested I start blogging again.  So, I guess we will see how long this lasts. HA!

This post seems very disjointed.  I don’t feel like I explained things right.  I am having a hard time laying out my feelings.  I thought about trashing this, but I think I’ll post it and maybe write a follow up when I figure out what I’m really trying to say.

I think you get the general idea...
I hope.