Back to school

Since when did I have a child old enough for high school? I'm feeling very old and flustered that my child is actually about to start high school. I can remember starting high school, and it seems like yesterday. Wow, only 4 years until she graduates. (well I hope!) How is this possible? Time seems to be passing me by and a great rate of speed.

Ok, Bossman seems to be taking this whole d/d a step further. This is fine with me, but it's HARD. I want to be submissive. I feel submissive. But actually being submissive....that is hard. I haven't really wrote much about this subject, but I feel the time has come to express my feelings on this.

I really want Bossman to be the head of the house. That doesn't mean I want him bossing me around, and lucky for me, he isn't that way. But I would like to be held accountable for the things I do, or don't do. Does that make me weird? How weird is it to want to be held accountable for things? Is there such thing as a d/d relationship where the couples are still a team, but yet the husband is the head? Maybe that's just to opposite to make any sense.

I've read some interesting blogs about people that are in d/d relationships and they really seem to work. Which is what I wish we could be like. But then I read a blog and this couple tried d/d and at first they seemed really happy with it, but then it fell apart, and now they are much happier without it.

Is is just that I want to be spanked, or that I want the whole package? Maybe I don't really want the d/d, I just want the spanking part of it. But in order for me to justify the spanking, there has to be some sort of reason. Otherwise I feel too weird. Am I suppose to like spanking? There seems to be alot of people that like it...but I feel like it's wrong, so I have to make it right...right? Oh I don't know, if I can't explain it to myself, how can I explain it to Bossman?

So, Bossman has made it known that he's going to spank me everynight before bed. Believe it or not I look forward to this. Secretly, it turns me on just thinking about it all day. In reality, I feel ashamed that I like it. When the times comes I feel just like a kid. Again, I kinda like that. The spanking itself isn't really what turns me on. It's the whole package. I like my husband being dominate. That, in itself, really turns me on. Even though I've been reading about this stuff for years, I still can't explain it. I guess I'll just enjoy it, and stop trying to analyze it.

later......