Y?

Just when you thought life was getting good. The good news from D was amazing and it turns out it was even better. There were over 20 tumors in her lungs...2 months ago. Now they only see 3. How's that for good news?

Yes, last Monday was great until.....

I was home alone Monday evening. Bossman was playing softball and the little man went with him. The wildchild was at work.

I get a call. Without boring you with the details, the call came in stating that Bossmans youngest sister (she's about to be 30) was found on the beach unconscience. Apparently, she tried to commit suicide.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if she was dead or alive. The in-laws didn't call me...it was someone-who knew someone-who got a text from someone, type of thing. I thought of calling the in-laws, but it's been so long since I had talked to them, and I didn't have their number. I knew Bossman had his Dad's number...but he was playing a softball game and I knew he probably won't answer. I would have gone to the softball field...but it's about a 20 minute drive from my house and by the time I got there the game would have been over.

What to do..what to do? I decided to call the hospital to see if she was there. I told the hospital I was her sister. I DO have the same last name, so it wasn't a stretch. This is exactly what I said. "Hi, someone called and told me my sister was brought to the hospital. Can you confirm if she is there?"

They said I had to talk to my father.

I freaked OUT! Seriously. I thought she was dead! By this time, I knew the game was probably wrapping up, so I tried Bossman's cell. He picked up! I tried not to freak out on the phone...but he could tell by my voice that something was bad. I told him and he phoned his dad immediately. He called me back within 5 minutes and said she was still alive but in a comatose state.

Apparently she took a handful of tranquilizers. She had been texting people and telling them that the next time they saw her she would be dead. Some of her friends started looking for her. Thank goodness....someone went to the beach and found her there unconscience. If they hadn't found her in time....well.....you know.

Anyway, long story short, the next day they put her in a pych ward for a night and now....lo and behold...she's fine.

But, she's not fine. She's got serious problems, but doesn't want to face them. There isn't much you can do when a person doesn't want to help themselves. She says she's going to get counselling. Oh how I hope this is true!

I can't tell you how scared I was. I really thought she was dead. I've known her since she was 7 years old. I took her on her first scary ride at the amusement park. Yeah....it was scary scary stuff.

So...on Y day, I have to ask Y? Why do that to yourself and then claim you are OK? Why put your family through such a scary thing and then deny that you have problems?

Seriously....I don't really want to know the answers to those questions. They don't have answers really. It's a mental thing that I can't understand. I know that...I just want to know why.

I think you have to be brave to kill yourself. Most people would probably disagree and say it's a cowards way out. I don't think so. I can't imagine killing myself. I am not that brave. I could never ever go through with it. I would be too scared. Maybe that's the key. Maybe if life is scary for you, killing yourself isn't so scary.

I don't know. I'm just typing things that are popping into my head.

Anyway, I am grateful today. I am grateful that she is still alive. I am grateful to her friend for finding her in time. I am grateful for Bossman, who is by far the best big brother a person could ever have. She is lucky to have him for a big brother.

Y...lets think of other Y things.

Yo yo's
yams (with marshmellows)
yawns
Yarn
Yippee
Yoodle
Yikes
Yes (isn't it nice when the answer is yes?)
yard stick (don't know why I, but I think yardsticks are HOT)
yard sales (I LOVE going to yardsales. There are so many good things that people don't want...LOL)
yearn
yellow
Yosmite
Well, that's all I can think of. It's been a rough week, but it could have been worse. We should know by Friday if the loan is a done deal on the house. THEN...I can start packing!!!

I hope your week was better than mine. Mostly I hope you all have a great week. I know I'm going to try!