Hey diddle diddle

As I was unpacking a box of books, I came across some old books that my mother had given me last year. Most of them were nothing of interest. I did find an old nursery rhyme book. Some of the front pages are ripped, so I looked it up online and it was first copywrited in 1947.

Anyway....this book is super funny! Some of the poems are old favorites like "Mary had a little lamb" and things like that.

But, I didn't know some of the other verses of these poems. For instances, "Old Mother Hubbard", we all know the first verse:

Old Mother Hubbard, went to the cupboard
to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she got there
the cupboard was bare
and so the poor dog had none.

But...did you know the second verse?

She went to the bakers
to buy him some bread,
but when she came back,
the poor dog was dead.

WHAT? The poor dog died? How could this happen? And furthermore...this is a childrens book! But don't worry, this is the third verse.

She went to the fruiterer's
to buy him some fruit
but when she got back
he was playing the flute!

Isn't this the funniest thing? Bossman and I were cracking up. One minute he's dead and then he's alive again. Nothing like confusing our children.

Another poem I found is really my all time favorite. I had never heard this poem before. After reading it Bossman and I have decided it's a tad on the pornographic side.

Here's the poem...tell me what you think.

Little Pussy

I like little Pussy
Her coat is so warm;
and if I don't hurt her,
she'll do me no harm.

So I'll not pull her tail,
Nor drive her away,
But Pussy and I
Very gently will play.

She shall sit by my side,
and I'll give her some food;
and she'll love me because
I am gentle and good.

I'll pat little Pussy,
and then she will purr,
And thus show her thanks
for my kindness to her

I'll not pinch her ears,
nor tread on her paw,
Lest I should provoke her
to use her sharp claw.

I never will vex her,
nor make her displeased,
For Puss doesn't like
to be worried or teased.

By Jane Taylor

Maybe Bossman and I have a sick sense of humor...but this poem just cracked us up. I actually hate the word "pussy" and this poem is just over the top. If you read it with a sexy voice...it can be very erotic! LOL

Lastly, for all you spankos, I found the perfect poem for you!

There was a little Girl

There was a little girl, who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead,
and when she was good, she was very, very good,
but when she was bad she was horrid.

She stood on her head, on her little trundle bed,
with nobody by for to hinder;
She screamed and she squalled, she yelled and she bawled,
and drummed her little heels against the winder.

He mother heard the noise, and thought it was the boys
playing in the empty attic,
she rushed upstairs, and caught her unawares,
and spanked her, most emphatic.

This one was by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

Ah, childrens poems. Who knew they could be such great entertainment?