I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about it. I have tried all week to put it aside and not even worry about it. But in the back of my head it's always there....and I can't help but think about it.
Back in 2006, on Thanksgiving day, I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. Since that day...I've never been quite the same.
If your new here and would like to read about it....the story is here.
You just don't forget things like that. Fortunately, I got better. So why can't I stop thinking about it? Sure, the anniversary of such an event would make you think about it more, but I think about it at other times. I have fears that something like that could happen again. I have fears that something horrible will happen to me in public. Heartattack or something similar. I worry about things happening to me when we go on car trips. I don't worry about car accidents, I worry about me getting sick. Sometimes, I think it hinders me from enjoying life. I haven't cancelled anything yet because of it...but I think about it. I see things on TV and I think...wow, I could never do that. My son went on a field trip last week and had a two hour bus ride with no bath room stops. I was thinking about how I could never have done that.
I've been trying to work through it. I see how irrational it is. I can do things. I do things all the time. I've managed. I've taken car rides all the way to Vegas and although we made lots of potty stops...nothing bad happened!
I don't know why I'm so obsessive about this. I do know that I'm trying to stop. I'm trying very hard to push those thought aside and enjoy life.
One thing I know for sure....it's the night before Thanksgiving and I feel fine. I don't think I'll need to make a trip to the ER. Hopefully! Everyone at my house is fine.
So, I don't know about you, but I'm pretty darn thankful for my health. I'm thankful for the health of Bossman and the kids. Although D has had a really rough month, she is doing OK now...so I'm grateful she is still alive for another Thanksgiving. Although she can't be with us tomorrow, she will try and come for Christmas.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving. Enjoy your family. Enjoy your health.
Just enjoy!
Awww, honey, when something like that happens to you, it rocks your world...you realise your frailty and vulnerability...its scary!
ReplyDeleteGod bless you, and all your family... Happy Thanksgiving!
Love n hugs, Daisy xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Grace, this is really quite normal.
ReplyDeleteHave a great Thanksgiving from across the pond.
Love and warm hugs,
Paul.
Believe me i get what you're saying.We have had the worst year ever. I'm grateful that i can be with ALL my family members one more time. Now you guys enjoy that turkey and football, We'll be going to my parents which is only 10 minutes away, My mom is 76 and my dad is 74. We'll probably do a little shopping and watch a little Macy's parade and watch football of course! Glad you're doing Ok! Happy Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteGrace, I well remember your illness. That was very scary and it is understandable to have some anxiety.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your Thanksgiving with your family.
Hugs,
Debbie :)
Grace that must have been a scary time for you all.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your family and Thanksgiving.
Love.
Ronnie
xx
Boy do I remember that time. You scared the poop out of me, pardon my French! I think I kept worrying about you until I got to see with my own eyes that you were healthy and vibrant.
ReplyDeleteI have seen more and more that you are struggling some with this just under the surface. My advice (and yes I know you didn't ask for it - when has that ever stopped me) is that you should talk to someone about this. Find a counselor you can trust and talk with him or her (probably). I know blogging is cheaper but a professional might actually be able to help some. You don't need to go for the rest of your life but maybe right now it could help.
Think about it. And I hope this Thanksgiving is your best yet!!
Love you!
PK
Grace the illness was very frightening for you, I'm sure. I hope you can work through your fears. Enjoy your good health and family and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteLove and Huggs!
Theresa