So, we have tried anal before, but it was a long time ago and it didn't go very well.
I need some advice. How should we go about trying it again? How do we ease into the situation, so to speak?
I'll admit, I've always been fascinated by anal. It seems to turn me on quite nicely when I'm reading about it. But it seems that when we try it, it's not so fun. Funny how the mind works like that. Nothing is ever the same in real life, is it?
Bossman really seems like he's interested in trying it, and I'm curious. So, I'm game to try it. But I'd really like to know how to start.
So come on Internet....help a gal out. Tell me the best way to begin this journey.
And to all you MEN out there....Please tell me what you get out of spanking your woman. This seems to be a theme surrounding spankings around my house. Bossman will mention, after a spanking, so what will I get out of this one? It's all in jest, but seriously...
So....let's just recap my questions.
1. How should we go about trying anal?
2. MEN...what do YOU get out of spanking??
I can't wait to read the comments on this one!
Written while ignoring laundry by::
"MEN...what do YOU get out of spanking??"
ReplyDeleteI like the question. It's ponderous. I'm not so sure I can answer it completely because so much is derived from a spanking: the power; the using of physical strength to restrain; the sound of paddle upon "padding"; the rising of her "temperature"; the groping of her "fever". It's all good. It's all there.
But what comes to mind immediately when I consider the question is this "thing" that washes over me as I'm approaching the end of the administration.
Indeed many times it let's me know that it is the end of a spanking. In fact, let's just call it "The Wash".
It's a rush of tenderness, of love, of apreciation that moves me to a deep desire to cherish, to care for, to protect - and even die for SugarAnne. I can't pull her close enough to me when The Wash comes down. I think it's an appreciation of her submission.
It' makes me weak - or tender - or whatever the hell you wanna call it.
It's damn near orgasmic.
Good question.
Grace: The key to anal sex, I think, is lube, lube and more lube. I could never understand why some people like it but I learned the lube part when I had a prostate biopsy, which was negative. They put in so much lube that when they inserted whatever they did into me,it not only didn't hurt, but it felt nice and full. That may also have been due to the fact that they put some kind of painkiller in the prostate. But it made me think that maybe with enough lube, it might be OK. I should add that I also think anal sex may be an acquired taste. You may have to try it a few times to like it and it may be you don't like it at all. I also think the man has to be very gentle and go in slowly so the woman can relax. If she is scared and tightens up, it is not going to work. So I would say lube and relax are the keys. And maybe he could start with a finger.
ReplyDeleteAs far as what men may get out of spankings, I would say is that it tends to be like foreplay with a woman who likes to be spanked. So you are giving something a woman wants even if she is in tears. And there's also a control factor that appeals to be a dom type because doms like to be in charge and like to have their women submit to them. It also goes both ways Femdoms like their men to submit to them.
Of course, some men get nothing out of spanking, which is a problem when they are married to women who like to be spanked. My advice for them is to treat it like another item on the honey do list. Hey, if she likes to be spanked, just do it. Don't men like to make their women happy?
So that is my two cents worth, which may or may not be worth two cents.
FD
I'm not a man, so not qualified to say what they get out of it; as for the anal question, sorry, can't help you there either!!! So I've been a bit useless really, but, loves ya loads!!!! xxxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteAlright lets talk anal. FD is totally right. There cannot be too much lube but there's more than that. Although I enjoy it it's not something we do often. For me I really need to be in a submissive mood. That make an amazing difference to me. Spanking surely helps and I need to be very aroused the regular way. And then the key word is s-l-o-w-l-y at the beginning.
ReplyDeleteIt's worth a try, I say go for it.
Hugs,
PK
Okay, it's not something we do very often (like maybe once a year or so), so I don't know that I'm the best person to give advice on anal, but here goes: the first time we did it I started out asleep. NOT as creepy as it sounds lol. He was asleep too, he snuggled up behind me, and all of a sudden we went from spooning to forking! But it was the very best way it could have happened, because I was SUPER relaxed, and it just kind of happened (although it definitely woke me up!). Definitely lots of lube, and it works best for us if we start out on our sides and then slowly roll over once he's inside. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Tracy
So I have some experience with anal sex. If you really do read my blog, you'll notice this.
ReplyDeleteKey points (some mentioned above) are:
1. You can't be nervous about it all day, or it'll never happen painlessly. And really, it's important the first few times not be painful at all. I'll be the first to say that Chris and I play with anal sex as punishment but for sure we didn't at first.
1. You have to be relaxed and comfortable. Finding the right position is really the key to getting it right the first few times. Spooning is good, I personally favor the face-down-on-the-bed-maybe-with-a-pillow position. Whatever the position, you have to stay in it without tensing up your bottom and thighs, or he has to hold you in it. Play around with possibilities during regular old foreplay/cuddling to see how things line up and fit together.
[The key to # 1 and # 2 above are that you can't be uptight or tense, or he won't fit or will damage you.]
3. Lube. Good lube. For us, the grocery store KY was a disaster. You really need the stuff from Babeland or whatever your retailer of choice might be.
4. If *he's* squeamish about germs, etc, it's perfectly okay to use a condom.
5. To help you relax, he can use a finger (and then 2 fingers) with lube to touch you first, or to introduce you to the sensations over a few days prior to when it's time to try it. If he's squeamish about that, he can wear a rubber/latex glove and trash it right after. We have a box of sexy black ones that came from a sex store, but the hospital-style blue ones work just as well.
Overall, I really think it's something that *he* has to want and is willing to be patient with, and try again and again.
That being said, the first time Chris and I had anal sex was a Thanksgiving Day after 3 months after we married. Afterward, he left the lube on the sofa, as our first attempt was with me bent over the arm. And his uncle came to visit. It was a long time before he got to try again, lol.
s
Hey Grace - No expert I'm afraid.
ReplyDeleteSame as Tracy and PK, something we don't do it very often but I love it when it has happened.
You have to both want to. Lube yes. Have to be relaxed, comfortable and definitely aroused (well for me) Lying in bed on side has been best for us. Take it slowly fingers are good to start.
If it doesn't work first time don't force it (LOL you know what I mean) Leave it and try it again another time but do try it.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
I am LOVING these comments! You guys are awesome!
ReplyDeleteserenityeverton...I do read your blog. As a matter of fact, I'm reading the Yellow Room right now. Thanks for the advice, I know this isn't your favorite subject to talk about...when talking about yourself...(blush)
B'man...I love your answer...somehow you made it seem very very, HOT!!!!!!!
Florida, I like your perspective on things. My answer to Bossman is always...You get a happy wife.
Daisy...never useless and always fun to read!!!!
PK...thanks for the advice and I noticed an email in my inbox from you. Hopefully this means you giving me some more info!
Angel, How the two of you managed to get into THAT while sleeping, I'll never know. That is quite a way to wake up!!!!
Ronnie, thanks! I'm thinking I might need to stock up on some LUBE...
Hummmmmm
ReplyDeleteHi Grace,
ReplyDeleteI meant to answer this when I first saw it but I was on my darn phone. I am a huge fan of anal sex (which seems an odd thing to say). I echo what everyone else said and I would only add that you should work on being very very very relaxed. If you lay on your stomach with several pillows under your hips, you can be in a great position and still lay limp and relaxed. Once you get the hang of things - assuming you enjoy it - you will relax naturally and don't need all of the props.
Also you should look for lube that is comfortable and if I were you I would stay away from KY. I would recommend Astroglide or Wet myself. KY doesn't stick around long enough and you won't have a good experience. And don't be afraid to reapply during things because ... well... you can't really go wrong with more lube.
The only other thing I would say is that getting in is usually the difficult part. You might find that once he's in, if he does not back all of the way out and just moves slightly while deeper inside, you can adjust to the feeling more quickly.
Have fun! Maybe you'll get to the point where it's as much fun as any other type of sex :)
Yep, relaxed is the key. Also, like anything else, it 's a learned skill. As you each relax, enjoy and learn each other this way it becomes easy and you will realize that being scared, tense and new was really the problem. Your body has to get ready and so does your mind. Just go slow, and be ready to wash and finish with regular intercourse instead on any attempt without calling it a fail. Consider it something you're experimenting with for a while. You'll get there, and with the way you both feel, I think you'll like it.
ReplyDeleteHi Grace,
ReplyDeleteThe way my husband and I did it the first time was with me laying over the arm of the sofa. You can also try laying facedown over a few pillows. Lube is an important factor, but your mind has to be in the right place too. If you enjoy the feeling of his fingers being inserted into your bottom, you can enjoy the feeling of him filling and stretching your anus. You might start out with him rubbing the lube on your bottom, (can be very exciting how he rubs your bottom) and inserting his fingers in you anus to stimulate you. Once you feel ready, he should slowly press into you, (you may want to take a few slow deep breaths to help you stay relaxed) once he is inside you he should just stay still for a few minutes. This will help you relax your muscles as you adjust to the feeling of him inside of you.
Another position that I have found very pleasurable is on my back, my feet positioned on his shoulders, (he is standing at the foot of the bed). This way we can look into each others eyes. After he has entered me, he can lay forward with our arms around each other and this position provides clitoral stimulation too.
Have fun!
Sugarsack here - (no google account sorry)
ReplyDeletefor me, I love it....
1. lots of lube
2. He must go slow
3. as he is entering.. push out, like you are trying to push him out. sounds funny but it opens you up to him easier.. then relax and enjoy :)