Unplanned spanking

I promise this was not planned.  We didn't discuss it.  I didn't even tell Bossman I had started posting again on the blog.  I mentioned I was thinking about it....but I didn't tell him I had.

So imagine my surprise when.....

Well, lets start at the beginning.

If you've read my blog for any length of time, you know that I was sexually abused as a child.  Don't worry, I'm not going to talk about it.  BUT....because of that I have issues with Bossman touching my breasts.  It doesn't bother me when we are having sex, but at other times, it just feels wrong and sometimes gives me the heebe jeebes.

This has been an issue for our whole marriage.  It just BUGS me!

Anyway, long story short...we were snuggling in bed and because it's that time of month, it wasn't going to go any further than snuggling.  Snuggling was good, but then it just started getting annoying.  Then my son called, (to tell us he made it on the varsity softball team at school...YAY him!!) and while I was talking to him, Bossman kept touching my nips.

GAH!  So annoying!

The dilemma is, it shouldn't be annoying.  He wasn't trying to be annoying.  He was trying to be loving and sexy and, and, and....

So, after my son hung up, I just got irritated and huffy and, well, Ok, I'll say it....BRATTY!

Then we jumped in the shower.  He was still being annoying and I was getting upset.  We have a seat in the shower...We call it the bj bench...I'm sure you can guess why...and I just sat there getting upset.

Bossman decided to take matters into his own hands.  First he washed my hair and body.  THEN...then...

Well, then he started spanking me.  IN the shower!  Do you realize how much that hurts?  Wet bottom and wet hand? 

I kept telling him to stop because....OW!  He said he was sick of my attitude and felt this might help me change it.

After a few slaps and me dancing around the shower, we got out.  He immediately pulled me over his lap for some more.  I'm not gonna lie...it hurt like hell and I wasn't too happy about the situation.  I kept begging him to stop and his response was he wanted me to feel it all day.  (Mission accomplished my friend!)

After he finished, he had me stand at the wall.  I was still naked.  He got ready for work and while he was getting ready he lectured me.  He told me that I was beautiful and that he should be able to touch me without me getting huffy.  He said it was causing strife in our marriage and he didn't like that.  He wants things to get better and he doesn't want that to be between us.  He doesn't like feeling like he is doing something wrong when he's trying to be loving. 

He also said that for now, he was going to do all the talking and I was just going to listen.  He said that tomorrow, or the next time the wildchild is out of the house, he was going to spank me again.  He said THEN, I could tell him my feelings on it.  BUT for now, he just wants me to think about it so we can have a rational discussion.

Boy did I pick a great time to start blogging again!!!!

Honestly, I don't know how I feel about the whole thing.  I know how my butt feels...  but the rest of me?  I'm just not sure what to make of it.  Bossman and I have gone round and round about this before, what will make this time different?  How can I change my feelings about this?  Is it even possible?  Do I just need to be more conscience of how I react to him, so I don't hurt his feelings? 

I have a lot of thinking to do.  A lot.

Written while ignoring laundry by::