an email to a friend

Dear PK

I am a horrible friend! Simply horrible! I haven't emailed you in ages and that's just not right. My only excuse, and believe me it's not a very good one, is that I do most of my web surfing on my ipad and it's such a pain to type with, that I only comment or email if it's going to be something short and sweet.

I saw from your posts that you had a great holiday! We had a nice one too. I think we hung around too much around the house, Bossman said he needed a vacation from his vacation. Whatever! I had a great time!

The day after New Years, we decided to paint our game room. Our game room is ginormous! (Is ginormous a word?) We had to buy a special pole to paint the ceiling and a ladder for the trim. We are STILL working on this room, but it's looking awfully pretty! The day after we starting painting, the wildchild informed me that she got a DUI. The day after that my son got in trouble with the sheriff.

Oh wait...did you want more details? I was hoping to sail right by that sentence and pretend it didn't exist.

Apparently, in the beginning of December, my daughter got a DUI. I guess she was 2 points over the limit. Luckily her car didn't get impounded. She had a friend pick her up from jail. (oh how proud I am to type this sentence) Her court date was the end of December and her friend took her to court. She didn't hire an attorney so the public defender took her case. She lost her license for 3 months, she has to pay 2300 dollars and she has to sign up for a 3 month class, which costs 400 dollars. Once she signs up for the class, she can get a restricted license, which she can use to drive to work and school. Oh, did I mention she lost her job in the middle of December? She didn't get fired, she got laid off, the company moved to Las Vegas. But, no job means no money.

Of course I didn't find out about the DUI until she told me last week. She didn't ask for money. She's waiting for unemployment. I'm so proud!!!

Amazingly enough, Bossman didn't have a fit. Oh, he was mad....as was I, but he didn't fly off the handle. He said we were NOT helping her with her fines, or anything related to the DUI. She was going to have to figure out how take care of it. Apparently she can work some of it off with community service. Did I mention how PROUD I am?

I am so upset that she could do that. Every time she leaves this house I say, "Don't drink and drive." and she always yells back....I KNOW!

She claims she was the most sober of her friends and she really didn't think she was over the limit. She said she was surprised when they did the breathalyzer and it was over. It's so EASY for someone to think they are sober when they aren't. I told her I was actually glad she got pulled over because she might have gotten into an accident on the way home. She could have killed herself or others! GAH!

She's not a a bad kid, but she sure makes some dumb decisions!!!

As for my son....it's kind of a funny story.

My son was spending the night a a friends house. Bossman is on the phone with a friend when I get a call on my cell from the little man.

The conversation goes something like this:

little man: Mom, we got in serious trouble.

Me: What? what kind of trouble?

little man: Just come down by K's house......

Me: Whaaaa?????

new voice: Hello Ma'am, this is Officer Smith from the sheriffs department.

Me: Oh......Oh Hi.

Officer Smith: Your son and his friends were door-bell ditching a friend from school. They did it a couple of times and the parents got upset about it so they called us out.

Me: Oh...oh wow. (I am a woman of many words!) Where should I pick him up?

Officer Smith: It's ok, we will let them walk home.

Me: ok, thanks officer.

end call.

I hang up and Bossman asks what's up. I tell him. He goes to pick him up from his friends.

Bossman gets there and they have 8 boys sitting on the curb with their heads in their laps. Bossman says there were 3 cop cars and 4 officers. All with the their lights on.

Bossman said the cops were laughing about it and shaking their heads. When they saw the mad dad show up, they just asked...which one is yours and let my son go with him. My son was the one with the red eyes, crying, but in a manly way...LOL

The little man was very upset when he got home. I could tell he'd been crying. He said he was just following along with the other kids and he didn't even want to do it. Yeah...right!

I have to admit...the whole thing is funny! But he is not allowed at friends houses for at least a month.

Have a mentioned how proud I am of my two criminal children? I am raising such upstanding citizens!

So, that was my week. How was yours?

HUGS!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

The mexican line

My son's Jr. high has a serious problem.  The lunch food is too good. 

I know what your thinking....since when is a school lunch good?

It's so good that the lunch lines are extremely long.  Some of the 8th graders have to stand in line the whole lunch period and then have to gobble their lunch down quickly before the bell rings.

My son?  He's got a system.

The other day, we were talking about his lunch period.  He was telling me how the lines were long.  Apparently the 7th graders get out for lunch 10 minutes earlier, but now that the quarter is ending the 8th graders will get to be the ones getting out earlier.  It's a HUGE deal, if you happen to be in 8th grade.

My son was telling all about this when he started telling me his system for getting through the line quicker.

It involves cutting in line.  heh!

Anyway, he's telling me his method and he says to me that the mexican line is shorter.

Whaaaa???? HUH????

The mexican line?

I couldn't believe they had a line just for the mexicans.  What is this world coming to?

My son, on the other hand, couldn't figure out what I was talking about.  He just stared at me. 

Finally, he says to me, "Mom, the mexican line is for mexican FOOD, not people.  And the mexican food is not as good as the pasta."

Oh.

When he told me that I just couldn't stop laughing.  I can't believe I thought there was a line just for the mexicans.  D'oh!

I won't go into his system because, like I said, it involves cutting the line, but he assures me that right now he has a much better plan for getting through the line.

He helps his friend that has a broken leg.  Broken legs get you to the front...along with your helper.

Ahhhh, my son.  He just cracks me up!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

The results are IN!

The results came back fine with the ct scan.  The doc said there was nothing wrong with my head and I said he better check again.  I'm not right in the head...but I've known that since I was little.  It's just nothing they can see on a scan...HA!

Since I've gotten the results I feel much better!  I used to think I handled stress nicely, now a days, not so much.  So, now that I'm not stressing about brain cancer, I can stress about stomach cancer or liver cancer.  Or.....maybe I can stop worrying about my health and start enjoying my life. Hmmm, could that really happen?

In other news, I just finished reading all the Harry Potter books (again) and oh how I love them so.  I've actually been spending the last couple of days just thinking about Harry and his friends and how or what they should have done different at the final battle against You-Know-Who.  I love books that keep me thinking days and even weeks after.  BTW, if you have only watched the movies you are totally missing out.  The movies are ok, but the books ROCK! 

Now that I've finished I need something new to read.  If you ask what kind of books I like I can't tell you.  I like all kinds!  The only kind I'm not really into is Sci-Fi. 

What are you reading?  Anything I might like?  I need something new to sink my teeth into.

I've been sitting here trying to figure out what else to write about and I've got nothing.  That's how boring my life is right now.  Although I need to figure out what to do with myself, right now, boring is kind of nice.

I'll try to be more entertaining next time.

Written while ignoring laundry by::

ct scan

Yesterday I had the CT scan.  I survived!!!

CT scans are so much easier than the MRI.  I KNOW, MRI's give more detail, but I doubt there is anything to find, so I'm not really worried.

I will say though, they had to put some dye in my veins.  OUCH! 

See, ever since the BC, they can't use my left arm for blood, for IV's or for blood pressures.  This is because they took a lymph node from that side when I had my surgery. Problem is, my right arm does NOT have the good veins.

The result?  Nice big bruise on my arm.

Whatever....I'm just glad the whole stupid thing is over.  I won't find out the results until Monday, but I am pretty sure that it's a whole pile of nothing, so I'm just ready to move on to the next thing.

What is the next thing?  That is the million dollar question.

I don't think I'm handling my life very well right now.  I might need some help with that.

Of course that would involve finding out what my insurance covers and then finding someone good around here and then actually making an appointment.

Um, yeah, just typing that sentence made me tired.

I prefer the "bury my head in the sand" method of living right now.  I'm just floating through life, mostly on the sofa. 

I'm fine though.  I always muddle through.  And Bossman has been really sweet to me.  The other night I was super hot....the weather has been in the 90's around here lately....and I laid naked on the bed.  Bossman brought out some powder and turned off the lights.  By the dim light of his cell phone (what?  doesn't everyone use their phones for light sources?) he proceeded to powder me down.  It was so sweet and wonderful to just lay there and be.  I somehow found the way to shut my brain off and just enjoyed the touch of my husbands hand.

It was nice.

Just what the doctor ordered........


Written while ignoring laundry by::

Friday Fail

A couple of weeks ago, I went to my oncologist for a routine check up.  I go every 3 months.  I told my onco about the dizzy spells and the vertigo.  He proceeded to ask 20 questions to find out if there was anything else going on.  THEN, he said he would like me to have an MRI, just to be sure. 

Anytime you are diagnosed with cancer, you have to be prepared to always have that in the back of your mind, even when you are finished with treatments.

Have you ever had an MRI?

I had one last year on my neck and although it was a little claustrophobic, I managed to survive.

This time, not so much.

Friday morning, Bossman and I went to the hospital for the test.  I was trying really hard to remind myself that it wasn't so bad and I'd be done in no time and I shouldn't be worried.

I left Bossman in the waiting room and I went with the tech.  I thought I would have to take off all the metal stuff, like last time.  The tech said I didn't need to as only my head was going in.  I really thought this wasn't going to be bad.

She had me lay on the bed and gave me ear plugs.  THEN she put foam cushions around my head.  THEN she put a metal cage thing over my head with a mirror, so I could look out.  Before that, I was licking my lips and she told me I couldn't do that.  She said I couldn't wiggle my nose if I got an itch either.  I asked how long I was going to have to do this and she said 30 min.  That is when I pretty much lost my cool.  I knew this wasn't going to happen.  Took everything off my head and said she would call my hubby and have him hold my hand. 

Um, no.  By this time I was almost in tears. 

I told her no.  I couldn't do it.

So, I left.

Now, I'm not a claustrophobic person, but that was too much.  I couldn't hear a thing and I felt like my head was entombed in a cement case.

Oh no...that wasn't going to work for me.

So, this week, I'll have a CT scan instead.

And I'll try not to lose my shit.


Written while ignoring laundry by::

pink, pink, you stink!

It's pink October.  That means that every single thing you are thinking of buying is pink.  I've seen pink cat food, I've seen pink blenders and I've seen pink underwear.  Not sure how wearing pink underwear is going to show your support....but whatever!
I suppose I should be supportive of all this pink.  I mean, I am a survivor, if that's what you want to call me.  But really, I am NOT a fan of pinktober.

First of all, do you live under a rock?  Because frankly, unless you live under a rock, I don't really need to make you aware of breast cancer.  We all know it's there.  We all know that we should get a mammogram after the age of 40, or if you have history of BC in your family.  We all KNOW we should be doing self exams.  WE KNOW for goodness sakes!

I'm very skeptical about buying the pink stuff.  Lets face it...the prices on the pink stuff are usually jacked up.  Also, how much of the money actually goes where it says it's going to go?  I feel much better donating to the Relay for Life (which supports ALL cancer) or straight to a breast cancer organization.  Actually, I'd prefer to donate to someone that is in the middle of treatments and needs help financially. 

But hey, if you want to buy the pink stuff....go ahead, I'm not going to give you a funny look or anything.

Also, as far as being a survivor....heh!  It feels weird saying that.  I mean, it's not like I got in a car crash, or was stranded out at sea for weeks.  Heck, I just had a little surgery, had a little radiation and everything is fine.  Seriously, I'm also a survivor of the flu and recently I'm the survivor of a stubbed toe, which, OMG, that really, really HURT! ( and it bled all over the house before I realized it was bleeding and now I may lose the nail and it was my pinkie toe...so)  I feel more of a survivor when I talk about D.  Surviving watching someone you love die...well, it was a lot harder than the cancer stuff.

I will admit that I do have a pink ribbon on my car that says survivor.  My profile does say I'm a survivor and I even have pink ribbons on my blog page.   I only say I'm a survivor because I can't think of another word.  I mention it on my profile because it's a part of who I am now.  I didn't ask for that part, but I got it anyway. 

I'm sad that there isn't more emphasis on the other cancers.  When I told D I had cancer, she said, and she said it would sound bad, but she said that she wished she had had breast cancer because it gets the most attention and the most money and the most research.  She also really loved the color pink. 

So, that's my thoughts on pinktober. 

Now go get your mammogram!


Written while ignoring laundry by::

Physical Thursday

Thursday I went and had my annual physical.  This included checking under the hood and squeezing the boobs.  She did the vertigo test...yes, there is a test for that and I still have it.  It hasn't bothered me that much lately, but it's still there.  Also, remember how I'm on 2 blood pressure meds?  Every time I go to the doc I have high blood pressure.  Every. Single. Time.  But now, suddenly my blood pressure is low.  I mean, like 98 over 62 low. heh.

I am shocked by this.  I can't believe it.  I also can't believe I didn't have to wait for an hour in the waiting room, but that's a different story.  Seriously....I'm surprised.  So when the doc comes in, I'm sure she's going to say something about it.

I was sure.

She didn't.

I ended up bringing it up.  Mind you, I've been going to this doc for YEARS!  She knows my history.  So I ask her about it.  "Oh" she says, "yes, well that does seem low for you.  Maybe we should cut one of the meds and see how that goes."  See how that goes?  GAH!  I ask if she thinks that could be causing me to be dizzy and she says, " why yes, yes it could."

Just call me Dr.Grace M.D.

So after we get that sorted and she looks at all my privates, she says I should get a tetanus shot.  You know, the one you get every 10 years. It also keeps that pesky whooping cough away. 

So they give me the shot.  Doesn't hurt a bit.  Never even felt it.

Next day, I felt a little off.  Couldn't put my finger on it, but I just didn't feel my normal dizzy self.  But HELL, my arm was sore!!!!

By the evening, I had a slight fever.  By morning my arm has swollen A LOT and did I mention it hurt like HELL?  I think I ended up with all the side effects.  Which according to Dr. Google, only 1 out of every 100 adults get.  Whoo...am I lucky or WHAT????  I'm better now, but my arm still has a swollen spot.  Stupid shot.

Ah life.  Sometimes it's such a bitch.

On to another though provoking topic....

My biggest pet peeve...(besides the people selling stuff in front of the grocery store)

Sitting on a warm toilet.

That's all.

Written while ignoring laundry by::

The post that didn't want to get written

I've can't believe I didn't post a single thing in August.  I hate when bloggers do that.  I wait anxiously for my favorite bloggers to post a new post and get frustrated when it takes so long for them to post, YET, I take a long time to post something myself.  It's a double standard for sure!

So, sorry.  I apologize for my absence.

I don't have an excuse really.  I just couldn't get enough mojo to write anything.  My life has been a roller coaster of health problems.  Don't worry, nothing major.  Just stuff that is annoying and weird and just sucking me dry as far as motivation goes.

Motivation.  I has none.

I've had a case of vertigo that has caused me to just want to sit on the couch and not move.  You remember the song, "You spin me right round baby, right round, like a record player, right, round right round"?  Well, that was the theme song for me.  Endless spinning.  Of course that meant no driving.  And I pretty much just sat on my butt all day and did NOTHING.  Which caused me to fall into a depression that has been hard to drag myself out of. 

Also, I take 3 different meds a day.  2 for blood pressure and one for the cancer.  Those 3 meds are making me soooooo tired that I can hardly hold my head up.  YET, I'd be so tired that I couldn't sleep.  I KNOW, that makes NO sense to me either, but it's a vicious cycle that is hard to break.

I know I should probably talk to someone about the depression, but honestly, I don't want to take another medicine. I hate it.  If there is a side effect...I WILL have it.  I just can't handle anymore side effects.

So, I'm trying to drag myself out of it myself.  Now that the vertigo is less, I've been able to walk by myself without worrying about falling down.  So, I've been trying to get out of the house and take a short walk everyday.  I've been making sure to do something around the house.  Just doing the dishes makes me feel like I've done something productive and that has helped a lot.

It's hard when you feel unimportant and unneeded.  Bossman tells me all the time that I am important to the family and that the family would fall apart without me, but sometimes I can't help thinking I'm nothing but a burden.  I KNOW, I'm not a burden.  Trust me, I KNOW.

2010 and 2011 have been hell.  Between the cancer, D's death and now more recent, my step father passed away in August...it's just been overwhelming.  I haven't known how to feel about my SF's death.  We weren't close.  He abused me when I was younger.  I've made peace with that.  He was my brothers father.  Without him there would be no brother.  I can't imagine life without brother.  I feel bad that he passed.  My poor brother was the only one there for him when he passed.  My baby (35) brother had to watch his father pass and nobody was there for him.  It was a hard passing too, the last hours SF was in a lot of pain.  He was only 59.

Life is so hard to deal with.  I don't know how I'm suppose to feel.  I am starting to feel like a hypochondriac because I always have a problem.  I'm actually relieved when the doc finds something because then I know it wasn't just in my head.

Sad, isn't it?

Anyway, this is my life.  So I'm writing about it.  I figure maybe writing it all out will help.  Well, it can't hurt.  Through all that, I still like my husband to spank me.  We had a long dry spell, but the other day he did pull me over his knee and give me a few swats.  I was a big baby about it, but it was nice and it made me feel more.....I don't know....does it seem weird that it made me feel more normal?

Well, if it's weird, it's no more weirder than the rest of my life.

Written while ignoring laundry by::

unexpected spanking

It was about 4:15 in the afternoon and I was lazying around on the porch swing in the backyard, just reading a book.  The little man comes out to tell me he's heading out on his bike to meet up with some friends.

I realize I'm alone.  What do I do?  I continue reading my book, of course.  Bossman comes in the door about 15 minutes later.

First thing he notices is....we are home alone.  I'm still thinking about my book so nothing really crosses my mind as to what that really means.  I follow Bossman into the bedroom, like I usually do, so he can change out of his work clothes. 

After he changes, he pulls me over his lap.  WHAT???  I wasn't even thinking about it.  I wasn't prepared. 

As the pants go down around my ankles I wonder (as I usually do) what the heck was I thinking.  Why do I put myself through this?

He spanks with his hand.  I forgot how hard and unforgiving his hand can be on a virgin tushy.  After a few minutes of that he switches to the backscratcher. 

I should remind you....I haven't had a spanking in almost two months.  My viginized butt didn't like the sting that backscratcher handed out.  It was very ouchy.

I tried getting away, he held me tighter.  Hmmmm, I think I liked that.  No, I KNOW I liked that. 

There wasn't much talking but the laundry DID get brought up.  He asked why he has to spank his woman to get his laundry done. 

Good question. 

I'll get back to him on that one.

Eventually, he stopped spanking, pulled up my pants and sent me on my way. 

The rest of the night I sat on a tingly bottom.

Then I realized why I put myself through that.

I liked it!



Written while ignoring laundry by::

The big C

Thank you all for dog food advice.  I've been looking things up online and we haven't made a decision about her food yet.  Some days she's just more itchy than others.  Today she's fine.  Even if it's not the food, after all the stuff I've been reading, I'd like to give her something more healthy for her instead of just going with the cheapy stuff.

So....do any of you watch a show called The big C?  It's on showtime.  If you don't watch it, the theme is simple.  It's about a woman that has incurable cancer.  You'd think it would be sad, but it's more of a sitcom.

Anyway, I started watching this show and at first I didn't think I was going to like it.  I mean I've gone the cancer road and did I really want to think about it again?  But, I'm morbid.  Even when I am contemplating my own mortality, I can't help but see how others go through it.  So I started watching.

Over all the show is pretty good.  BUT....there are some parts that bother me.

The biggest complaint?  She waits 3 months before she tells anyone she's dying.

WHO does that?  WHY would you do that? 

I don't get it.  Wouldn't you want to tell your family so you could enjoy the last remaining months or years and your family could enjoy you?

Um no.  She decides to kick her hubby out of the house and doesn't let her son go to soccer camp.  She thinks she's going to spend the summer with her teenage son...(yeah right...) but instead the son is complete upset with her and spends his time with his friends.  So, she ends up having an affair.

I don't get it.

I'm on to season two now, she's told her family and has decide to pursue treatment.  She's let her husband come back.  I guess if you have cancer it's ok to have an affair.....

Well....what do you think?  Would you wait for months before telling anyone in your family about your health?  Would you forgive your spouse if they had an affair and then told you they were dying of cancer?

I'm just curious.

I'm also ready to be spanked now!  (I'm just saying that in case Bossman stops by to read..)




Written while ignoring laundry by::

you would think...

I had good intentions of spending this summer writing in this blog.  I was hoping to visit more blogs and leave more comments.  I was thinking of jumping back in and catching up with old friends and possibly finding new ones.

I seem to always have good intentions, but they never get me very far if I don't act on them!

You would think that having a week home without the little man would result in some fabulous spanking stories.

You would think....

You would think I would have had some great sex that week also.

You would think....

Instead, the wild child was home all week sick.  Any time that Bossman and I had together was outside the house and not really appropriate for sex or spanking.

Oh well, life is what happens when your busy making plans.  (Or something like that...)

On a completely unrelated note...

What kind of dog food do you use?

Our dog is getting skin rashes and a friend suggested that it was the food.  I admit, I buy the crap at walmart.  I feel bad now!  Poor thing.  I should be feeding her the good stuff!  So, what is the good stuff?  I've searched online and there is such a wide variety that it made my head spin.  I can't figure out which website  is telling  me the truth and which just wants me to buy their stuff.

So help a girl (and a dog) out....what kind of food should I feed her?




Written while ignoring laundry by::

Curious

Believe it or not, I just finished washing the kitchen floor and I've already done two, count them, TWO, loads of laundry. 

I would say this day is a success!

This week has been good.  Along with the cleaning, I've been getting out of the house more.  Did you know that there are people out there....in the world?  And they are doing stuff!  They are on the roads and in the stores.  They are everywhere!  It's nice to be in the land of the living again!

Guess what I got for my birthday.  I know, my birthday was a long time ago but still...guess!

If you said Ipad, you would be correct!

Can I just tell you how much I LOVE my Ipad?  Well, I'm going to tell you anyway. 

It's so nice to have the internet at the touch of a button.  I don't have to wait for it to boot up or anything.  One click of the button and I'm on the internet.  Love it! 

I don't really like typing on it, it's sort of like texting...I'm not good at the texting.  And you can't do anything that requires flash....but man...I do like my Ipad!

I'm wondering if anybody else has an ipad.  Are there apps that I should have?  I only have a few games on it and I feel like I'm not using it to it's full potential.  So, is there anything else I should know about the ipad?

While I'm at it.....what about links?  I'm curious to know what your favorite NON-spanking links are.  What are your favorite websites?  Actually, I wouldn't mind knowing what your favorite spanking websites are also.

So fill me in, what am I missing out on this great thing called the internet?









Written while ignoring laundry by::

How've you been?

So...........

The last two weeks have been extremely stressful. 

I found another lump.  On the same side as the surgery.  I'm not going to make you think something bad, so I'll tell you right away, it's fine!  Just a cyst.........whew!

BUT, the last 2 weeks I've had the feeling of doom.  I've had all thoughts of death and dying.  I've been picturing in my head how it would be to tell the children.  I've been picturing how it would be to be dying.  To not have a future.

GAH!

It doesn't help that the anniversary of D's death is this week.  Plus the fact that my fathers...plural...are both dying with different diseases.  PLUS, my mother is in Florida right now with my Uncle who could be on his death bed.

ENOUGH of the dying already people!  I've had enough.  I'd like to NOT think of death and dying for awhile and just enjoy LIVING!  Is that such a big thing to ask?

Anyway, other than the dying stuff, summer has been good so far.....but there hasn't been any spanking.  Not that I've really been in the mood, with all my dark moods and everything, but still, a spanking could possibly, probably help shake those moods.  I'm just saying.....

Well, today is a new day!  I'm fine.  Yesterday they took a look at the lump with a mammogram and ultrasound and declared it a cyst!  YAY!  This is reason enough to jump back into life and stop living the life of a dying woman.  Sheez....am I dramatic enough for you??

So, that's what's happening around here.  How've YOU been??



Written while ignoring laundry by::

spanking is as spanking does....

There are many things happening all at once and so I know it's summer.  Yesterday the little man turned 13!  13???? 13!!!!

He's a teenager now!  What the heck?  Where did the time go?  ACK!

Anyway, so that is the first indication that summer is around the corner.  The other is that tomorrow is the last day of babysitting!  YAY me!  Also, next week it the last day of school.  Thursday the 9th, to be exact!  I might have to do the happy dance.  I know that by August I'll be doing the happy dance that school is back in, but for now I'm just happy it's over!

So, remember when I wrote that last post?  You know, the one right before this one?  The one where I said I hadn't been spanked and Bossman and I weren't very close?  HA!  I should write stuff like that more often because I wrote that on Friday morning and then Friday afternoon..........

Well, lets just say that Friday afternoon was both wonderful and terrible.  It was one of those times that you play over and over again in your mind and you can't quite decide how terrible and how wonderful it was.

Details you ask?  I know there is at least ONE of you that is a detail whore.  Of course I'm thinking I could just leave you guessing for a while.  That could be fun.  (for me)  Or I could just tell you what happened.

sigh~

Friday afternoon, Bossman had the afternoon off of work.  After the baby leaves we have about 45 minutes before we have to pick up the little man from school.  Bossman thought this was a great time for a spanking.  I had my doubts.  It had been a while since I had gotten a spanking and frankly we ALL know what it's like to get a spanking on a bottom that hasn't seen a spanking in a while.

I asked what this spanking was about and he said it was about a lot of things.  It was about getting us closer together.  It was about getting me to focus on him.  On us, really.  On things that were important, like our relationship.  \

Focus he said?  Oh there was focus alright.

He spanked with the wooden spatula thingie and he spanked HARD.  As a matter of fact, I believe this was the worst spanking I had ever gotten.

Seriously!

OUCH!

It was long and it was hard and I....well I was LOUD! 

Can I tell you something?  A hard spanking like that can really put things into perspective.  I wasn't in a great mood but after that spanking, my mood was much lighter.  Things seemed better. (not for my bottom though)

There wasn't time for being intimate after that.  So we went on with our day.  Mine with a sore butt.

The next day left us with a couple of hours to our self. 

By that time, I was quite ready for some lovin'

We got adventurous and tried some anal.  After careful consideration, and with the knowledge that THINKING about it makes me hot, anal is not for us.  It's just not comfortable and just doesn't feel that great. 

With that said, we had an amazing time figuring that out.

After we had our fun, we needed a shower.  Now, Bossman had taken care of me, but we didn't quite take care of him.  So, in the shower, I decided to give the man is favorite thing.  A bj.

I really got into it, I mean, he deserved it.  It was the best bj ever!  I'm not just saying that.  Bossman said so!!!!  I really did good!

So, I'm thinking the universe read my post on Friday and decided that it was unacceptable.  Or maybe it's like that whole thing where they say if you visualize it it will happen. 

Either way,
I ain't complainin'!

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blog, what blog?

I am still here.  I just couldn't get up enough mojo to look at my blog.  Or your blog.  Or any blog, for that matter. 

Ok, I lied, I did read the food blogs.  Believe it or not, I'm getting interested in cooking.  I hate cooking.  I do love looking at the cooking blogs though.  Just dreaming about someone making those recipes for me gets me all hot.....

It seems that since I got the cancer diagnosis, I've been curled up in my shell.  I haven't felt like going anywhere or doing anything.  Home is safe.  Bad things don't happen at home. 

So, babysitting was perfect for me.  I didn't have to leave the house and it gave me a reason to get out of bed in the morning. 

But, it's been a year since I ended cancer treatment.  I think it's time to get back into the world.  I need to step out of my comfort zone and join the land of the living. 

Next week will be the last week of babysitting.  I haven't exactly decided what I'll be doing this summer but I did decide to join the gym.  Just getting out of the house will be good for me.  Plus, I could stand to lose a few pounds, or at least not add to the ones I already have!

I haven't had a spanking in a while... have you?

We seem to be at the place in our relationship where we aren't as close as we'd like.   Spanking is talked about but we just don't have a quiet moment to ourselves to do it.  Much less have sex.  We try to squeeze sex in when we can, but it really isn't very often.  That always makes Bossman cranky.  Honestly it makes me cranky too.

My mind has been in a lot of different places lately.  Last weekend was the 1st anniversary of the last time I saw D.  I know the 27 of next month will be hard.  That is when she passed.  I miss her and think of her every day.  I just blows me away that she's not here. 

Speaking of passing, my stepfather is dying of cancer.  I have mixed feelings about that man.  He sexually abused me when I was 12.  I feel like I'm over that.  As much as a person can be.  I don't like to use what happened to me a a child as a excuse for things that happen now.  That was a very long time ago and I'm a grown-up now.  I have forgiven him.

Here's the thing, he's the father of my brother.  I can't wish ill on the man that is my brothers father.  Without him, I wouldn't have my brother.  I wouldn't trade my brother for anything in the world.  Also, when I was really little, my mother was having a really hard time and was going to have to put me and my sister into foster care.  My mother met my stepfather at a party, told him the situation and he stepped in and helped my mother.  Who knows what would have happened if my mother had put us in foster care.

The point is, the man did a lot of good for our family.  None of that excuses the abuse.  It's just part of what happened. 

So, mixed feelings.  I'm not close with him now.  I've only seen him a handful of times in 12 years.  But my brother is hurting.  My brother is the only family my stepfather has left.  My mother divorced him 25 years ago.

Wow, I didn't mean to go into my life history.  Guess I needed to get all that out.

Anyway, that's what's going on here.  How have you been?



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15705 days old

Hard to believe but here I am another year older.

That makes me:
43 years old
or
515 months old
or
2243 weeks old
or
15705 days old
or
376,920 hours old
or
22,615,200 minutes old
or
1,356,912,000 seconds old

After all those numbers, 43 doesn't sound so bad after all!

Everyone eat cake for me today!



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any thoughts?

Last week was great.  I really can't wait for summer!  It was so nice to sleep in and not have to worry about watching little ones.  It was also great to be able to leave the house and not be tied down with a little one.

Still not much to report on the spanking front.  Bossman has been talking about it a lot.  Of course, we've had the little man home all week, so that put a damper on the spanking.  Also, he mentioned that he hates thinking that every time we are alone he has to spank me. 

I can understand that.  Since we found out the little man can hear everything going on in our room, we are afraid to try anything, including spanking. 

How do you all combat that?  Anybody have any good ideas?  We are also thinking of some other forms of discipline.  Nothing drastic, but something that could motivate me to get things done and not laze around on the computer all day.  Any thoughts on that? 

Do you use any other forms of discipline?  How do you maintain a spanking relationship with children around?

I could really use some ideas!

Thanks!


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I think I'll watch that

Bossman and I were looking over the TV schedule when we came across this:

I'd like to watch the one in the middle please.......



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mumblings...

I have no title.  I really have nothing to write about. 

Yesterday I went to my nephews t-ball game.  It was super cold, I think my butt froze off.  Metal bleachers, not good.  Then we went to dinner with my brother.  I don't hang with my brother very often and the funny thing is, he lives right around the corner.  But we each have busy lives and so we just don't get to hang much.  Last nights dinner was nice.  We talked and laughed and had a good time.

Spanking?  What is that?  I haven't had one since the last one I wrote about.  I guess that means I've been a good girl...LOL or that means Bossman has been busy.  Either way, it makes me cranky.

Why should it make me cranky to not have a spanking?  Most "normal" people would think it would make a person cranky to get a spanking.  So why am I so cranky to not have one?

Bossman and I have been talking lately about stuff.  This may surprise you but Bossman and I don't have a lot in common.  We don't like the same kind of music.  I like to read, he doesn't.  He likes to watch sports, I don't.  He likes racecars and like to go racing, I find it a complete waste of time and money.  Heck, we don't even like watching the same tv shows.  (Well, there are a couple we can agree on.)

It's amazing that the two of us have stayed married this long.  I often wonder what makes him stay with me.  I used to think it was just the kids.  But I've come to realize that he does love me.  Thank goodness for that. 

Well, what's going on with you? 



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I'm still alive and there was a spanking

I'm still alive and I still have a cough so really I'm only half alive because JEEZ I'm sick of coughing.

How was that for a run-on sentence?

So, how's life?  Mines good.  I'm frustrated with the girl I babysit for.  She is annoying the bejeesus out of me.  She tells me a couple of weeks ago that I wouldn't have to babysit this week because her hubby would be off work.  GREAT!  I was so excited to have a week to myself.  THEN, on Thursday of last week I confirmed that this was the week and she was like...OH, I need to you watch her because hubby will be staying home to clean out the garage.

Clean out the garage????

GAH!

I was so pissed.  But damn-it, I'm too nice.  I can't say no.  I hate that about myself.  Why can't I be more mean?

Well, all is not lost, in 2 weeks the mother will have spring break and I have told her I will NOT babysit that week. 

Also, I've decided I'm not going to babysit anymore.  I'll finish out the school year and then I'm done.  I haven't told the mommy yet, but I will.  I've considered telling her I could do it part time, like 2 or 3 times a week, but I will not do it everyday.  I'm sick of sitting around the house everyday.  I need to get out and do something useful.  I haven't decided what that will be, but I have a lot of time to think about it.  So, I'm definitely looking forward to summer.

Of course, summer will probably put a damper on the spanking, but there isn't much I can do about that situation, unless I ship the boy off to summer camp.  Which....now that I think about it....that is a GREAT idea!

Speaking of spanking.....

I got a doozy on Friday.  Here's the back story.  The last couple of weeks I have either been hurting with the neck, or I've been sick with the cough.  So, Bossman didn't really get on me for the rules.  Friday, I was feeling better.  Before we got out of bed, I woke up crabby, we had a bit of a argument.  Bossman got pissed and left for work. 

Bossman showed up at home right before the little one was heading home.  I asked what he was doing home so early and he said he was here to spank me.  HUH!  I wasn't really expecting THAT!

After the little one left, he took me into the bedroom and started lecturing.  He was upset that I hadn't done much that day and he was really upset with how I had treated him in the morning.  He brought out the wooden spoon and went to town on my butt.  He lectured as he went and WOW, it hurt.

The great thing about it was things were better after we were done.  I was in a better mood, he was in a better mood and we just carried on.  He left me home to do my chores while he went to pick up the little man from school so I had time to think by myself. 

Really I just thought how lucky I am!

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