Well well well, here I am again. Life sure does change minute by minute around here. The little guy got sick the other night, and the wildchild now has it bad! Poor thing has been sick all night and can't hold down water. My hall has been thrown up on way too much. Why oh why can't they make it to the toilet?

Bossman and I made love this morning. It's funny how we work. We get mad at each other, and then we make love. I don't think I'm a very good wife. I think I'm very selfish. How do I change that? It's so hard to change yourself. I KNOW how I want to be, but I don't know how to make myself be that way. I would like to be more subserveant, but I'm to independant to be that way. This doesn't even make much sense, but it's who I am. So how do I change that? The thing I wrote about the other day, about him touching me when I'm doing other things...I've been thinking about that. Is that really such a bad thing? Why do I get so upset by it? Why can't I just let him cop a feel and then move on? Why does everything have to be such a struggle. UGH, I hate feeling like this. It feels like I can't control myself, and I hate being out of control. <<< see what I just typed? I hate being out of control...but yet I want to be controlled? How does this make sense? It doesn't! And that's my life.....nothing makes sense!

later............