What a difference a few hours can make!
The last blog really helped me sort out some things. As a result I realized that I was behaving worse than a child. For heaven sakes, I want my husband to read my mind, I want him to take care of all my needs, I want him to do things exactly the way I want them! Well, at first I didn't really think that was a problem. I mean really, isn't that what we all want? But reality kicked in, and I realized that it really wasn't fair at all. And since I'm being completely honest here, let's face it, I was topping from the bottom!
I was so upset to think that the whole d/d thing might be over, I didn't know what to do. After reading that blog, I didn't really want to publish it. I think that's because I didn't really want to face the truth. But I decided that since I spent all that time writing it, I might as well post it, even if it makes me sound petty and childish.
So, after I posted it, I decide I would scout out some more d/d sites, (like I haven't read them all...lol) and I managed to find lots of new ones. After reading stuff that was pretty much the same, I found some hot spanking stories and started reading them. Of course after I read them, I wanted to be spanked really bad. But I didn't really think that would happen, I figured I had scared Bossman to the point of never spanking me again. ~sigh
But after reading all the stuff I read, I realized what an ASS I've been. The light suddenly flashed in my head, and it dawned on me that I really screwed this up for myself. I wanted him to spank me, but I gave him a hard time every time he tried. I wasn't submissive AT ALL! He was just trying to give me what I wanted but I shot him down at every turn. All I wanted to do at the moment was apologize and make it right again. Plus I really wanted that spanking!
Well, Bossman showed up a few hours later...before the kids came home from school. I really needed to talk to him. But after reading all those stories, I was hot and horny too. So we went in the bedroom and I gave him a really great kiss. I think he was surprised that I kissed him like that, because even though we had make-up sex, I could still feel some tension between us. Anyway, I told him how sorry I was, how wrong I had been about everything. He said he forgave me, and we embraced for a few minutes. Then he said what do you need from me. And I said, I need him to read my mind. Well, he did. He said, I think you need a spanking. To which I blushed and hid my head in his chest. So then I kissed him again, and then he said pull your pants down. To which I gratefully complied. After being securely over his lap, he spanked me kinda long and kinda hard. It was such a relief. I can't begin to tell you how grateful I was that he spanked me.
Of course it goes without saying that we had really hot sex afterward...YIPPEE!!! It was so yummy and hot, and wonderful, and I felt the tension lift immediately. We had to pick the little man up from school, so there wasn't much time for chit chat afterward. But later in the afternoon, we had a few minutes to talk and I really wanted to tell him that I had a different plan for the d/d and I wanted to know what he thought of it.
The way I figured it out was this, I realized that before he decided to spank me, I needed a little warning. I needed him to tell me when. I figure if he does this, this will give me enough time to prepare myself and then I will not be so quick to fight. I will be more willing to submit. A least this is my hope. And I told him all this, and he thinks its a great idea. We are going to try it and see how it goes.
You don't know how happy I am. I really really thought d/d was over for us. I really thought I had pushed Bossman to the point of no return. So I am so anxious to see how this works, I almost wish I had done something to deserve it right now. Notice I said "almost"!
So until the next time..
later.......
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