In Memory

Today is the first anniversary of my Grandmothers death.

I'm really sad today. But I don't want to tell Bossman. I know he won't know what today is. I'm not mad that he won't remember, he's a man, so I expect that from him. But still I'm sad. I would like to wallow in my sadness. But I can't. I have to clean the house, pick up children from school. Cook dinner. You know...normal everyday life things.

But my Grandma died last year...on this date. I loved her. I will always love her.

How did I manage a whole year without her? How did I manage not calling her, telling her about my family..my life?

How did I manage?

I guess it just goes to show, life goes on. As much as I miss her, I still had to live. I still had children to take care of. I still had dinners to cook, I still had to clean the house and go to work. And I still think.....is this really important? Doesn't it all seem meaningless?

What is the purpose of our lives? Because once your gone...nothing matters anymore. So why are we here?

Oh I know. So we can cook dinner, raise our children, and die.

I guess I'm in a cynical mood. Can you tell?

Ok, I'll go now. I'm go live my life. I guess I should start with the house.........

later......