If I want my husband to be the head of household, if I want to be submissive in this relationship, why do I have such a hard time giving up control?
Little things are coming up and causing me to question this control issue. For instances, the other night we were watching tv. We have a dvr so we can pause and fastforward stuff. Well the channel went dark for a few minutes. So Bossman put it on pause and said, we'll just wait a few minutes and then go back to it, that way we can fastforward the commercials.
Sounds logical right? So why did I have to grab the remote and see if it was working again? Why couldn't I have just done what he said? What is so hard about that?
He gave me a very upset look and said, Why can't you just do what I say...just once? Of course the evening was ruined.
It was a very little thing, I know, but still, when you ask someone to be in charge of things, but then you constantly want to do things your own way.....even little things...then what?
Later he said if the kids weren't still up and around, he would have spanked me. He said he can't wait until he can put spanking into more use. He said that by me grabbing the remote like that it belittled him, it made him feel like he wasn't important. Of course, now I feel terrible. I totally deserved a spanking. I should not have made him feel that way.
But this has led me to wonder about this whole control issue. How do I balance it all out?
How can a person be submissive, yet still want to be in control?
How?
later...............
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