My story part 2

You may not have guessed this yet, but Bossman is a very smart person. So he knows a heck of a lot more than I do about the computer, which leads me to how he found out what I was truly into, on the computer, that is.

Ok, so I didn't know I had to delete my history from the computer. All my wonderful little spanking clips that I found on the net. Bossman found them. It wasn't hard to do, they were right there on the real player when he went to play something else.

Lucky for me, he was fine with it. He started asking me questions about it. But I was shy about it. I brushed it off. I was embarrassed. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know why I liked it, I didn't know why it turned me on, and I couldn't possibly discuss it with him. But I wanted to. Lord knows I wanted to.

So at night, when we would snuggle in bed, I would bring it. As long as I didn't have to look at him in the face, I was fine. As long as the lights were out, and I was spooning him and facing away from him, I could get brave. And so we would talk about it. I would tell him stories that I read, I would tell him about people that I read about that did this as a daily thing. I told him about d/d.

After that, I started leaving him things to read. Bossman isn't much of a reader, but I knew if I left short stories and articles in certain places, he would find them and read them. I started leaving them in a folder on the computer, so he would read them when he was alone, for I could never be around when he was reading them.

Once this was out, between us anyway, I started writing him letters. I would tell him how I feel about him, I would tell him what I wanted him to do, and I would try and tell him my feelings about this whole spanking matter. This was the time in our life when communication was high. We'd been married for over 10 years by then, but never had we told things like this to each other. It was a break-though. Who knew that communication was such a powerful force in a marriage?

This was also a terrible time with the rest of our life. We were struggling financially. He was ready to make changes to his career, but it was going to mean moving in with the in-laws, and uprooting our family. It meant being poor for awhile. By this time, our son was a baby, our daughter was probably about 9. This was one of the first times in our life we would be separated for more than a day. We would be apart, me with the kids, him trying to pass tests and get a job.

This was the first time in our marriage that we realized, we need each other. We couldn't live without each other. Life was at an all time low, but our love for each other was at an all time high. Something finally clicked. I realized that no matter what happened, this man was my one and only. I could tell him anything, and he would still love me. I knew it was finally safe to tell him my secrets.

When we finally ended up in the same house again and life settled down, we started talking about spanking again. I was hinting around that I would like to try d/d. How does a couple just suddenly try something so drastic? It seemed so easy in the stories and in the lives of others. How hard could this be? Could we also achieve the level of submission that I had read about? Could I be that kind of wife? And could he be that kind of husband?

This is turning out much longer than I thought, so I'll leave it like this for now.

later.....