I would like to give a shout out to Lizzybee and Andrades! I love that new readers are stopping by. Thanks for reading my humble little blog. I don't have any answers but I do like to give my opinion. Stop by anytime and although I'm terrible at answering comments, I do read them....I DO!
So, to the problem with being born submissive.
If you missed the post about being born submissive, you can find it here.
After reading all the comments on that post, I realized I am not alone in this thinking. I realized what the biggest problem is.
Most of us...at a very young age...are taught that being submissive is bad. It's not politically correct. It makes us weak.
So, instead of embracing the fact that we are submissive, we are made to feel like we are weird. Not normal. Other women look down their noses and wonder how we could possibly LIKE letting a MAN lead us.
Somehow, being submissive makes us stupid. Suddenly we can't make decisions. We can't think for ourselves.
I don't know about you, but I have some pretty strong opinions and I'm not afraid to express them. I also know how to make decisions, without consulting a man. Sure, it's nice to have a man to consult with, but if push came to shove, I could take care of myself.
It's funny, Bossman and I were discussing how life was when we were 18/19 years old. Those were the years we were just dating. As we were taking a jaunt down memory lane I realized how different I am. Back then, I was VERY independent. I knew what I wanted and I did what I wanted. My mamma taught me to be self-sufficient. Bossman, on the other hand, didn't really have a clue. I don't say that to be mean, but he was brought up in a very strict house. He didn't really know what the real world was like. He wasn't very independent. He did exactly what his parents told him to do and didn't think outside the box.
As we've grown and changed in last 20 years, things are reversed. I still have my independent streak, but I prefer to let him handle things. He is much more independent, taking on the world and all it has to offer.
I don't mind the change. I am happier for it. I always knew that I wanted a big strong man to take care of me. My man had to be taller than me (I'm 5'10), he had to want to do things like open doors and such for me. I always wanted to be the helpless female. That role in life appealed to me in a way I just can't explain.
I still have my independent side. I am the helpless female with Bossman and Bossman alone. Don't try and tell me women are stupid. Don't tell me women can't drive or can't do this or that. Women can do anything they set their minds to. Don't tell me women don't deserve to earn as much money as a man and don't you dare try and tell me that men are superior to women.
But there is something to be said for having a man to take care of you!
Oh, and one thing that a man could never do....have babies! I dare any man to try that! (and NO, the she/man that had the baby doesn't count!)
What are your thoughts? Am I crazy, or does this make sense?
It makes perfect sense... I find it sad that we spend so many years fighting what comes naturally to us because what we felt was 'wrong' in some way. I'm independent in many ways, I'm a strong, non submissive woman outside of my home... because that's what I need to be to survive. But when Master is around... he takes care of me, so I don't HAVE to be the person I never wanted to be.
ReplyDeleteOf course it makes sense; well to me, at any rate. :)
ReplyDeleteI was raised to be independent as well. Moved out of the house to live with my bf (who eventually became my husband) at 16. Finished school on my own, married, worked, went to college (for a while, lol), etc. I was the one who bought the cars and eventually the house, not my ex. He would have been happy to rent forever and drive junky cars. I am stubborn, opinionated as hell and if I feel someone is threatening my loved ones, I can be really mean, too.
But I've always been sub, always secretly wanted a man to stand up to all my stubbornness and fiery nature.
But with love and tenderness and a whole lot of firmness, all combined together. Not disrespectfully (although fantasy humiliation is hot) but cherishing me, leading me, treating me like a treasure yet expecting me to obey.
I also wish women who don't understand (or say they don't) would not look down on that. Ever since meeting Dan, when I stopped trying to deny it so hard, I see sub/dom people everywhere. Even animials are sub/dom. In business, in social, all kinds of relationships, I see it everywhere.
For instance, I am more often than not the most dominant *woman* in the room. And often more dominant than many of the men.
I'm one pushy, but fun, bitch. heh. :)
But I'm mush when it comes to Dan and I *really really really really* like it that way. :)
Yes, Grace, you make perfect sense.
Oh and yes; the woman who became a "man" and had a baby; does NOT count.
Grace you are right and of course crazy, in a very P C way.
ReplyDeleteMy Mel was a strong woman a leader in her field. But she left that persona at the front door.
I made our life decisions, if we differed I had the last word.
She was my princess, her submission fed my dominance and my strength made her stronger.
Love and warm hugs,
Paul.
Hi Grace,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the shout out. That was really nice to see. As I am not yet practicing a DD or DS relationship yet and am still thinking about all of the ideas and concepts that surround this complex style of relating; please take my feedback with a grain or 2 of salt as they say. That being said I would like to say that I think life is full of parodoxes. I think that gentleness as well as submissiveness takes a tremendous amount of strength. And I think that is where my fear comes in when I think of actually implementing dd ds submissiveness etc in my marriage, I really do not know if I am secure enough or strong enough in myself to truly submit. I hope this makes sense to you. Thanks as always for sharing and listening.
BTW since I have been enjoying your blog as well as some others, I have started my own little blog, it only has one little baby post on it. It took me all morning just get the basics built, but it's a start I guess. I think your blog is gorgeous, and your artwork is beautiful.
Take care,
Andrades Girl
I know how I feel and how I want to feel. It's not always the same. Sorry I am having trouble finding words these days. I'll just wait until we are togehter and we'll talk.
ReplyDeletePK
I can't help wondering if I would get more turned on by the whole kinky spanky stuff if I was more conflicted by it, like most I read about. Just a stray thought.
ReplyDeleteWhat you say doesn't really describe me, but it makes perfect sense. We are full of conflicting thoughts and emotions. I can't imagine living any other way. Think about it. If we never felt sorrow or loneliness, how would we know what a treasure it is to have love? If we never had to be strong or independent, would we appreciate the dominant men who accept our gift of submission and cherish us?
I know it's the way of the female mind, but try not to overthink it. Just enjoy being you and don't worry over the rest. :)
I found this was a very insightful posting by you Grace.
ReplyDeleteI have not met many ‘true’ sub missives in my time, so I cannot claim to know what makes a submissive girl tick.
The few submissive girls I have met over the years, seem to have a common trait though, ‘strong opinions’, oddly I find this contradictory to their submissiveness. Let me add that I do not have a problem with a girl with strong opinions; in fact I wish all woman would be more assertive when it comes to making decisions.
Anyway, getting away from that subject for fear of a backlash from the Strong Opinionated Woman of Ireland Association, I just wanted say thank you for this wonderful posting.
I will of course be reading a lot more from ‘A Day in the Life’, because not only is it a good read, I can see you are a smart lady….Bossman you are a lucky man,
Best wishes,
Paolo