My SIL D hasn't been doing so great. She's been having a hard time with her liver. The cancer has gone down, but I think her liver just has too much damage to work properly. It's so frustrating!
As for me....well, I don't know what the heck is going on with me. I've been having weird spells of.....I don't know. I thought they were panic attacks, but on a smaller scale. Then they sort of drifted into just not feeling well. All my energy gets zapped and I don't want to do anything but sleep. I'm feeling better this week, so I'm not really sure what the heck is going on.
The doctors...oh so wise....said they were panic attacks and gave me some meds. I tried the meds......OH dear. They were NOT for me. They made me feel weird and more nervous and I spent the better part of a Saturday in bed. Bossman took me back to the doc 2 days later. It was a different doc than the one that gave me the meds. Same practice though and I've seen him before. Let's just say...the guy was a pompous ASS! I tried to tell him how the meds made me feel. He said I didn't give them enough time. I tried to tell him that I thought it could be hormones and he said there WASN't a test for that......HUH? No test for hormones? Listen, I know I haven't been to med school, but come ON! I know there are tests for that.
Bossman took me home and said we were NEVER going there again! I mean, sure, my symptoms started off looking like panic attacks...but then it was happening all day....surely I wasn't having one continuous attack all day long!
But I forgot. He went to med school and I.....didn't.
Like I said, I'm feeling better this week. AND I'm glad for it. One week from today I'll be in Hawaii! Come hell or high water...I'm going. Even if I'm sick...I'm dragging my butt to Hawaii! Shoot, I can be sick and still lay on the beach!
Well, that's life for now. I've had the CT scan and the little freckle tattoos that mark the place for the radiation. The day after I get back from Hawaii, I get to start radiation! Not really looking forward to it...but it has to be done.
Anyway, just know that I'm still around and hanging in there! I've been lurking on the blogs still...when I feel up to reading.
I love you guys!!!!!!!!
Written while ignoring laundry by::
Your strength in dealing with all this is inspirational.
ReplyDeleteAnd enjoy every minute in Hawaii. I'm sure it will be a great trip for you.
FD
Grace the panic attacks could be stress. If they are Hawaii, should give you the answer.
ReplyDeleteI had panic attacks with my hot flashes. So it could be hormonal. And unfortunately the pompous ass was right, sort of. Don't you hate that? There are test for hormones, but they don't really tell you anything.
To solve my problem they simply changed me from Wellbutrin to Effexor. Since I doubt you can take hormones, Effexor might be an option for you.
Now another thing that the pompous ass said, "you didn't give it long enough."
When I first started the Effexor, I felt beyond weird. So I stopped after two days. I knew I needed to give it more time. I restarted it and took it at night, so I would sleep through the weirdness. Most adverse reactions to drugs ie feeling weird, sleeping, pretty much you name it, does go away in time. For me the side effects were less and less each day and hardly noticeable after 2 weeks.
Now I don't know what he gave you, maybe anti anxiety drugs. Anyway if it is hormones I just wanted you to know there is and option other than hormone replacement. I believe Effexor is the only antidepressant that works for menopausal symptoms. And it does work. After the first pill I never had another hot flash or another panic attack.
Hopefully it is stress and a trip to Hawaii will solve it all. If not maybe you could try seeing your OB GYN. But regardless of what happens, I'd find out where the pompous ass lives and egg his house. I think that would be the best thing for what's ailing you!
I'm so sorry to hear about D. I know this has all been very hard on you and your family. I think I would be having a panic attack or two also.
You have been such a champ. Enjoy your trip, you sure do deserve it!
Well I think I should post this as a two part post, not a comment.
Love you!
Huggs!
Theresa
Well Theresa had some good advice. She is probably right on the medical stuff and definitely right on egging his house. Right or not I hate pompous asses!!
ReplyDeleteI hate that D is having such a hard time. I know she must just be tired of all she is having to go through.
I can't wait to hear all about your trip. Make sure Bossman knows you need to be spanked in Hawaii - shoot I think you should try for a spanking in all 50 states. I'd like to try that myself.
Post as often as you can we miss you.
Hugs,
PK
Yes, good advice by Theresa... its true, new meds can mess with you, your body usually needs time to adjust to any new meds. But, never underestimate instinct, either. Only you know how things make you feel, and sometimes, your body reacts badly to a drug because its not right for you. Only you know whether the "weirdness" was something you should persevere in spite of, or listen to and stop.
ReplyDeleteRe: D, I will step up my prayers in that direction, as well as for you. You really have a lot to contend with, hun, your life is one big stress ball at the moment, and you can't control who squeezes you!!! No wonder you feel poorly.
Try (and I KNOW how hard this is, but if you achieve it, its not hard at all)to rest in the Peace of God, and trust His word and His promise. God knows best, even though we don't understand. If you have ONE piece of a 5000 piece jigsaw, it doesn't make sense, and you can only make wild, inaccurate guesses at the final picture.
God has the whole jigsaw, all the time.
Bless you. Hugs. xxxxxxxxxxxx
Grace, I'm so sorry to hear that things have been rough for you.
ReplyDeleteThere are quite a number of asses with MD after their names, but did I have to meet so many lol!!!
You and yours, including D are in my thoughts and prayers.
Enjoy your trip to Hawaii, and if you feel up to it please tell us all about it, at least the repeatable bits.
Sending you strength and healing,
with love and warm hugs,
Paul.
Grace, sorry to hear about D, it's been hard on all of you, she's in my thoughts as you and our family are.
ReplyDeleteGood advice from Theresa, meds do need time to adjust but personally I think you know yourself when there not right or working for you.
Have a fab time in Hawaii, chill, rest and please, if you can let us know how it went.
Love and hugs,
Ronnie
xx
It's Amber. Yeah, like Theresa said, Pompous Ass Doctor was right. And yeah, you probably *were* having anxiety issues and yes, you probably didn't give the drug enough time, although I validate you on your reaction if it was a SSRI. Through my tinnitus counseling over the last two years with hundreds of people, now, I've run into several people who have had nasty reactions to various anti-depressants. Doctors don't like hearing that, either, I mean...many docs really hate it and they'll argue with you about it or try to get you on another anti-depressant or change the dosage. Anything rather than not prescribe it. Honestly. I've heard this story dozens of times now; from the US, Canada and the UK.
ReplyDeleteBecause, don't you know, anti-depressants are the end-all, be-all to good mental health today? *sad smile*
The good news about panic attacks is they do go away. But it is very unpleasant while they are happening. And I've had them for days in a row back when I was having trouble accepting the tinnitus. But I knew I'd get past the panic so I didn't want to go on something major like an anti-depressant for something that I knew would pass. My friend, whose husband is an ER doc, suggested I try Ativan since that's what she took when she went through a crisis. I still have some pills left. I didn't get addicted, I know everyone freaks about that because it's a benzo but I've gone on to suggest it to others in my counseling attempts and it's only been helpful. Maybe because it's a different type than Valium or Xanax, which are also benzos. Dan and my doc friend were trying to explain it to me, about how they are slightly different and Ativan is much less addictive than the others because of (blah blah doc-speak, snore doc-speak-tech-med-stuff zzzzzz....lol) Anyway, couldn't hurt to ask your doctor, I found that just a tiny bit, 0.5 mls, helped me a lot back then. Just a suggestion, can't hurt to ask your doc. :)
Your trip to Hawaii is probably going to help a LOT! Have fun, you're going to be fine when you get back, too. {((((big hugs))))
Amber again. One more thing; on doctors. They are highly trained, they go to school for many years to learn what they know and today's medicine has really come a long long way. Look at a hundred years ago, we didn't have *anything* like the kind of treatment we have today. And I'm grateful, to science and to the doctors who have worked so hard to achieve the level of knowledge they have, so they can help people.
ReplyDeleteBut they do not know everything. And not everything they were taught is necessarily true. But they can only go on statistics. Medicine has become statistical; so many percentage this and so many percentage that. You already know this from the choices you've been given over the cancer.
So we can't blame them entirely for simply following what they have been taught and what they know from being in practice.
What they *CAN* work on, however, is that pompous attitude. There *are* exceptions and when that happens, it's not a failure, it's just another statistic. If that makes sense. They seem to take it so damn personally when an individual patient doesn't follow the "norm". Whatever the hell that is. Anyway, that's my two cents, PER USUAL BABE! Keep on truckin, you're gonna be fine, trust me. :)
Grace, So sorry you weren't feeling well. I am glad you are feeling better. I am sorry to hear about D. Have a great time in Hawaii!
ReplyDelete