Thank you all for the comments on my last post. It seems as if we are all going through something right now in our relationships. My man-child is going back to school this Sunday, so I'm hoping a little alone time will get us out of our funk.
I'm also hoping to convince him to spank me. I mean really, is that too much to ask?
So a friend suggested....Ok, it was PK! She suggested that one way to get in a more submissive state of mind was to try anal. More specifically, she suggested a butt plug.
I've always been fascinated with anal. It's definitely a turn on for me. Problem is, we haven't had much success in this area. I get too afraid and tense up. It's just such a different feeling and it makes me nervous.
Trust me, we've done all the things you should do, lots of lube, fingers first...you know, all that stuff. I just can't help it, it makes me nervous and I start sweating and it's just NOT good!
I want it to be good...I really, really, want it to be good.
So, what am I doing wrong? Is there something else I can try?
Also, any butt plug suggestions? I'm thinking I would like to try one but it's really hard to shop for one online....who can tell how big or how small online? What should I look for in a good plug? Shapes and sizes...I just don't know!
I would appreciate some suggestions!
Anally challenged,
grace
Njoy plug, and a glass item called icicles. It is graduated in size starting small, works like a dildo but functions like beads.
ReplyDeleteI've always wanted to try glass...I am going to look for those.
DeleteI started with a small plug and worked my way up to a medium, then a larger one. It really helped..good luck.
ReplyDeletehugs abby
I want to start small, I just don't know what small means...you know what I mean? I don't want to go to a store as we live in a small town and people will talk...LOL
DeleteI always enjoy wearing a butt plug for my Mistress when she wants me to and until recently, I had always worn a rubber plug. Recently, Mistress allowed me to purchase a glass plug and I can tell you first hand it made all the difference in the world. Before, with the rubber one, my bottom hole would get "tired" and begin to ache. Now, with the glass plug, I can wear it all day long without any discomfort at all. I have even worn it all night while I slept. Made for some interesting and sexy dreams too.
ReplyDeleteGlass seems a popular choice...I'm going to look into that.
DeleteI think I owe you an email on the subject. Anon reminded me, you might want to research anal beads, I like them too. I really think you should take a weekend after the manchild leaves and do some shopping rather than doing it on line. You can see the size, internet shopping for anal doesn't always work for anal toys. Toy shopping itself might be a lesson in submission. Anal sex is not going to be everyone's cup of tea, but some gentle play in the area can be fantastic. Make the commitment to try that. I be Bossman will appreciate the effort.
ReplyDeleteWhere's my email woman???? I've thought about beads...I'll look into those too. No store around here, the only one is small and in my town someone is bound to see me going in there...LOL
DeleteThere are many good suggestions. I believe it is one of those things that you will like a lot or not, as PK said, not everyone's cup of tea. So after you have tried it you'll know. I have found that a plug that transitions from a larger head to a narrow base stay put the best. I love beads for that reason, and you can wear them all day and forget they are there--well almost.
ReplyDeleteI do wonder if I'll be one that just doesn't like it. I like the concept of it...but doing it? Well, I guess we will see!
DeleteOne of the best ways, that I found, for anal sex is this: have him behind you and in position, ready to go. He may even be rubbing his cock between your butt cheeks (lots and lots of lube), then have him rubbing your clit to orgasm, and as you are loving your orgasm, he enters you and your body is so enjoying the orgasm, it doesn't have the ability to focus on what is going on with your bottom.
ReplyDeleteWe haven't tried that yet...I like the sound of it!
DeleteAlso, before trying "the real thing": I can easily take a finger up the bum, and also my wife has a thin strap-on dildo that also enters quite easily (of course, well-lubed) but the "real size" strap-on dildo is another matter. Basically, it has to wait a bit at the entrance, making small movements, until the sphincter opens. Then it always surprises my wife that it enters easily.
ReplyDeleteMmmh.
ReplyDelete1/ Your tightness may be a subconscious result of not willing to make a mess. It goes without saying, but go to the toilet before trying anything anal. I know it sounds gross, but you may want a little water (not saline etc.; these are for constipation and will really make you go a lot!) enema or a glycerin suppository a little while before.
2/ There is no urgency; it's not like you set a date and you wish to succeed on that date. Try a little more every night.
3/ Have your partner trim nails and wear rubber gloves. You should really be able to accept a finger there "effortlessly" before graduating to plugs. Don't forget to "open up" by pushing as though going potty.
4/ If you resist even a finger, it's no good. Then, have your partner give you a preparation-H (or equivalent) suppository. It's just grease, really, and should slip in easily. Once you accept a suppository you can accept a suppository followed by a finger.
5/ You might want to try having your temperature taken rectally, preferably with a glass thermometer. Believe it or not but aiming for the opening is not that easy!
6/ If you're not using condoms or latex toys, you may try vaseline instead of water-based lube. It dries/drains less fast. The problem is that it leaves you all greasy between the cheeks (and of course the penis, finger, toy...) and you basically need to wash carefully with water and soap to get rid of it.
Such great advice! Any chance you have a blog and could write a post on this? This is great! Thanks!
DeleteI don't run a blog at present but may be in the future.
DeleteMy (future) wife and I wanted to try anal a long time ago. Some of these recommandations are born out of trial-and-error and I like to share them.
We initially tried fingering, both ways. I know that the latex glove or finger cot makes it into a medical-style "digital rectal exam" but it's actually quite fun. Again, use lots of lube, vaseline if needed - the finger should enter without pain or discomfort. You might want to do it to your partner, not only can tickling the anus or penetrating it trigger an erection, but a little pushing on the prostate may be pleasurable to him; plus it's fun to do, says my wife, as it "inverts the roles".
A penis is another matter. My wife liked getting a finger up there from time to time but the penis was just "too big" and she tensed. We also used some small butt plugs (we both like, from time to time, to have intercourse "on bottom" with a plug up the butt).
So at some point we bought a strap-on dildo, thinner than a penis. It was quite exciting for me to buy it, but when we came back home and she patted me on the butt and told me to get undressed, I hesitated (but my wife went "tut-tut" and I relented). I can tell you that I was feeling too comfortable kneeling with my butt in the air in front of my strapped-in wife.
Well, it was not that bad, and I think it would have been even better with more lubrication. It was quite an experience for me, a male, to be fucked.
Somehow this experience "unlocked" her and she wanted to try being the recipient. So she tried the thin dildo, and then... it was my penis. She likes it this way once in a while.
Then she remarked that, out of reciprocity, I should experience a "realistically-sized" dildo. So we bought a double-ended one, one part goes into her vagina and has something to rub on her clit, the other one in me. She has orgasmed while doing me this way, though it is infrequent (most times, we finish vaginally).
We took the habit of giving a little enema to the recipient; we simply use a douche/enema bag and some lukewarm water; no need for more than 0.3-0.5l (more is a bad idea since it risks coming back later). Then the recipient goes to the toilet, then often the recipient gets spanked before getting sodomized.
So my advice would be to do it gradually (there is a very big difference between a finger and a penis) and to try it on your partner as well.
Wow! Thanks again for all the info! I have asked Bossman to read all the comments so that we can get some ideas on how to incorporate this into our relationship. This is very helpful. Hearing other peoples experiences helps me so much. You should definitely start a blog. I think people would love to hear your take on things!
DeleteI am no expert, but most butt plugs will tell you if they're for a beginner, and so on. Also, you might try anal beads - they're graduated which helps because you can relax between sizes.
ReplyDeleteI'm very curious about the beads...I'll look into them!
DeleteHi Grace,
ReplyDeleteAlong with these other good tips, relaxation is essential. If you're all clenched, it's just not going to work. I suggest a nice glass of wine.
For us, anal is a kind of special occasion activity. We try to recognize that fact in small but significant ways such as cards, decorations, coded messages, and little gifts.
I do like the idea of cards and gifts! Also, wine might help!
DeleteNo advice as I have no experience...but I am keeping the information above in case we ever venture to explore ourselves...hope you have fun trying and exploring with one another...
ReplyDeleteThis is GREAT info, isn't it? There are some knowledgeable people around here!
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