First, let's discuss the wildchild. Do you like good news or bad news first?
Ok, good news first. Over the holiday break, she passed her drivers permit exam! Ok, it's not exactly good news for me, but it's great news for her. This means she can legally drive with someone that is over 25. I informed her, that I was only 24 and therefore she couldn't drive with me. Of course, she demanded to see my own licence and therefore found out I am NOT, in fact, 24. Believe me when I say, I don't look a day over 24. I have a supermodel body and flawless skin. Believe me also, when I say, I have swamp land in Arizona that I would love to sell you!
BUT, I have figured out how to get out of letting her drive me around. I make loud sudden noises, I cling to the dashboard. I act as frightened as possible. (This is easy to do since I AM scared out of my wits!) She has informed me that this makes her way too nervous and has decided it's NO fun driving with Mom! Oh, that only lasted for about a week. She's over it now. ~sigh~
Now the bad news. This is the part of parenthood that I hate. This is the part of teenagers that I hate. I recieved a letter in the mail telling me that the wildchild is truant!
That's right. She has decided that school is not important and she has been ditching classes. Of course the first thing I want to know is, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?? She claims she hangs out in the bathroom. The BATHROOM???
What? Why? How? These are the thoughts that flashed through my head before it exploded! That's right, brain juice all over the table.
After I got my head back together I had to ask... What is going on in the bathroom? To which she replied, they just hang out in there and talk and IM people on their phones. ~sigh~
Anyway, turns out, the school had the wrong phone number listed for us, so that is why I didn't get any of the calls about her being absent. Also turns out, I did NOT kill her. Although the thought did cross my mind, right before my head exploded. A
So, as it stands now, she is ground for a month. ~sigh~ It's going to be a LOOOOONGGG month. She has lost her cell phone and computer for a month, and she isn't going to the dance on Saturday. I've found out, if you go on myspace you can see when a person has last logged in. So if I go on her myspace and I see she logged in, we will add a week to her grounding. God! I hate being a parent to a teen!!! It sucks!
Well, am I being to soft? Should I be tougher? I don't really know what to do. We are thinking of putting her on independant study. She says she wants to do that. I'm not sure what to think of it. I've talked to her guidance counselor, and they think she could be a good canidate for it. But then she would be home all day! Do I really want her home all day? I could keep better track of her. But what the heck would I do with her? Further more, and most importantly, when would Bossman have the time to spank me??
I don't know what the answers are, I just thought if I wrote them all down it would come to me...like a vision or something...but it's not happening. Maybe I should meditate. OOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM.................
Nope, not helping.
You know what would really help? I know you know what I know.
A spanking.
That would help.
Bossman is on his way home for lunch.
He is the long arm of the law.
Does it help to have a sore butt when thinking about serious things?
I'll let you know....
later...
I don't think you are being too soft but I would do my darndest to keep her in school where it's structured and she's forced to follow a schedule. It would be harder to enforce that if she was home. But what do I know? I tend to be somewhat of an advocate of public education. Maybe you should ask Elis ... see what she thinks. Been there, done that with the driving. I have 3 daughters.... they didn't like driving with me either.
ReplyDeleteHang in there.
It's so good to have you back!!!
I'm with Eva on keeping the wild one in school. If she thinks school is not important why will it be important at home? I, too, am an advocate of public schools. I just wish they all worked a little bit better but then I'd be told its a funding issue!!!
ReplyDeleteHope I didn't overstep in that last paragraph, Grace. I'm also a firm believer in sanity. I'm sure you and Bossman will think long and hard on this one.
Good luck and happy thoughts for you.
Debbie :)
I also agree with both of the above comments. I don't think you are being too soft. Only time will tell if you're being too tough. Better to err on the side of toughness I think. This is a critical time in a kid's life, so you have to keep them on the straight and narrow now before they get too far off.
ReplyDeleteI have two adult kids, so know what you are going through. Hang in there! There is light at the end of the tunnel.
As far as the independent study goes, that is a harder question without knowing all the personalities involved. But, I think I agree with the previous comments. You need to preserve your sanity, too! If she really wants to do the independent study thing, make her prove to you that she deserves the chance by meeting your expectations in school where she is. If she's not mature enough to do the right thing there, I don't think the independent study would be a good idea yet. But that's just me.
Good luck! Hang in there and have faith! Make clear what your expectations are, don't waver in them, and stick with whatever punishment it takes until she gets it!
Hope I'm not too presumptive here in my advice. I'm sure you and Bossman will do the right thing, as you definitely seem to be on the right track with the grounding etc. It might not hurt to mention that driving is a privilege that adults earn, so if she wants to do it, she has to earn it. The car keys are a great motivator. No adult behavior--no car keys!
Spanky
Grace I really hate to weigh in on this. I will be glad to share any ideas I have with Erica and baby Maddie I got that part down pat! But raising a teenage daughter -- I know nothing!!! Girl, I am watching you!! Mine is younger remember. Mollie informed me today that she can start drivers training in 2 months and 19 days. Oh joy!
ReplyDeleteWildchild didn't prehaps give the wrong phone # intentionally did she? Sorry teachers are a suspicious bunch. I too like keeping her in school and perhaps stressing to her (whether you actually do it or not) that if she misses ONE more class you will be happy to come to school one day and escort her from class to class and sit with her in each one to make sure she is aware of where she should be. You may have to back this us but often the threat works.
Good luck, Grace, and please get all this worked out before I need all this information.
Hugs!
PK
Thank you all for your responses and none of you over stepped your boundries. I like getting different opinions and it's times like this when I appreciate it the most.
ReplyDeleteOn the independent study thing, it's not home school. It's run through her high school and she would still be enrolled in the public school system. I would not begin to even try and teach her as that would truly cause my brain to explode. She would meet with a teacher once a week and get a couple of hours with the teacher, doing assignments and stuff and then they would give her homework for the week. She would still attend her school for choir and she would still be allowed to participate in plays.
Now, we haven't made the decision yet, we are weighing all the pros and cons. Pros, I would know where she is. Cons, when would we have spanking time??? Ok, just kidding.
Anyway, the counselor told me that she could actually make up and possibly get ahead of the game by doing independant study. (She has failed 1 class last year that she needs to make up and she has already failed a geometry class for this year) (yes, she went to summer school!) We could just do this until next year when she is a senior and she could just go back to regular school then.
But, there are a lot of things to consider. We are going to spend some time talking and praying about it so we can make the right decision. Any other suggestions and opinions are always welcome!
Won't be around tomorrow, my mom is having surgery. Nothing serious and I'll tell about it later, but please keep her in your prayers or thoughts on Wed.
Thanks everyone!
HUGS!
grace
Dear Grace, it wasn't my fate to raise children, my sister in law raised three girls, I often wondered where they found the patience. the youngest is 21 and still a cause for worry.
ReplyDeleteBut as Spanky says there is light at the end of the tunnel.
The methods used in my childhood aren't acceptable today.
I can only send you love and strength and prey that things work out for you and the Wildchild and also for your mom.
Warm hugs,
Paul.