the continuing saga

Saturday started as most Saturdays....we didn't want to get up. But D, she has a horse and she wanted us all to go out and see her horse. (Beautiful BTW) Bossman and I were laying on the air mattress, (Yes, we had to sleep on an air mattress.) Bossman and I are fairly BIG people. Not big fat, but just big, big. I'm 5'10 he's 6'4, you do the math. You can imagine an air mattress isn't exactly comfortable for us. So, Bossman is lamenting about having one more night on the dreaded mattress. I suggest we leave that night instead. We were planning on leaving early in the morning anyway. We are all more night people than morning people anyway, and frankly, having a whole day to rest before starting the week was sounding like a really good idea anyway.

So, we decided to leave that night, if Bossman feels up to the drive. (It's over a 6 hour drive home)

We get up to start the day. We don't really mention that we are leaving that night, we hadn't fully decided for sure if this was what we were going to do, really we were just going to play it by ear.

Before I carry this story further, I would like to mention that we have little codes that we use for the MIL. Code green, means she's in a good mood. Code yellow means she's starting to get cranky, or she's bringing up something that we are uncomfortable with, or basically just a warning that things could spiral out of control. Code red....well that pretty much means danger, danger, danger, get out of the way, the MIL is about to blow...

Back to the story. D asks if we can read some Bible verses before we head to the horses. Already, I'm thinking this is going to be code yellow. Anytime we go religion, I KNOW the MIL will say something that makes us all uncomfortable.

But we all sit down and read some texts. Things are going ok until we read one about anger. My son, earlier in the morning, has snapped at me when I asked him a question. So when the verse on anger was read, I told my son he should pay attention. Sheepishly, he agreed that he had snapped at me. The MIL, she said that I should single my son out, that we ALL should heed this verse. Being the nice person I am, I didn't comment, I just let it pass. As we continued reading, she brought up different things that the koran says. We all just stare at her, like deer caught in the headlights.

Doesn't she notice? How could she not notice that whenever she brings that stuff up, we change the subject and look away? But, she INSISTS on letting us know what the koran says. My BIL, taps my shoulder, and I whisper to him, code yellow.

Luckily, we got out of the whole thing with just a code yellow. Now, it's time to get ready for the horse. D and her hubby leave first because they have an errand to run. We are left home with the in-laws. We are sitting there, getting ready to leave when the MIL walks past the kitchen bar and notices the toilet paper that Bossman and the BIL bought the night before. The MIL asks the FIL if HE bought that paper. Bossman tells her he bought it. She then looks at the FIL and says, "I can't use that kind of paper, we will have to go buy some different kind."

Needless to say, she didn't say it in a very nice tone. Bossman was not happy with that comment because we had been buying groceries all week and SHE and the FIL came with NO money so they couldn't really contribute anything.

I understand that you may not like a certain type of TP. BUT, if we are all trying to live together and get along together, you would think that your BUTT will survive with crappy paper. (Although, the paper was NOT crappy!)

By now, I realize we are spiraling into a code red. I'm thinking we just need to get OUT of the house before things erupt.

We didn't make it.

As we are leaving, Bossman goes out to the garage to get a bottle of water. We had bought a 24 pack of bottled water to drink and it was the same brand that SHE had bought earlier in the week. SHE had bought a 12 pack. That pack had not been opened yet. We were all drinking the 24 pack. It's called sharing. I learned that in kindergarten.

As Bossman is going out to the garage, the MIL says, in a very hateful tone, THESE are my waters, I CAN'T drink the other kind of water. (see, there was another brand in the fridge also.)

We are talking about WATER.

See, the problem is, the MIL, she has her slave boy go in and get her water for her, so she herself had never stepped into the garage so see what was going on in there. She didn't realize that HER water was unopened. She didn't KNOW that she was, in fact, drinking OUR water. She just assumed we were drinking ALL her water and apparently she can't drink other water....

In our minds, we are all sharing everything. We didn't buy stuff just for us. When we went to the store, it was for everyone.

So, when she hatefully said that about the water, THAT, that was the straw that broke the camels back. Bossman could NOT keep quiet a moment longer. CODE RED, people, code red, everyone abandon ship!!!!

Bossman says, "MOM, that is very selfish and hateful." Then he went out, got some water and on his way out the front door he said, "I better leave before I say something I'll regret."

That's it! That's all he said. And then he left.

I was still in the house, trying to get the little man to get his shoes on. ACK!

So, I tell the little man to hurry up and I'll meet him in the car. As I walk out the door, she says, "someone needs to go back and read those verses about anger."

OH. MY. GOD!

So lets recap. She needs special toilet paper and she needs special water and she CAN'T share with the rest of us! But we didn't drink her water!

Ok, we leave. We are laughing about it in the car and I call D to tell her that it was a code red so she can be prepared for a crabby, cranky m*slim out at the horse.

We get out to the horse and everything is fine. We don't say much to her and she doesn't say much to us.

We leave and head out to the Vegas strip. They are leaving to go back home for lunch. D calls us and tells us that she's decided to tell her mom to go home. By this time, I've already mentioned to D that we were thinking of leaving that night. Anyway, she decided that she can't take her mom anymore. You NEVER know if she's going to be in a good mood or bad. You NEVER know if she's going to snap in a moments notice. You NEVER know what will pop out of this womans mouth at any given moment and it's tiresome to walk on egg shells around her.

Besides, D needs peace and quiet. She needs to keep her blood pressure good and she can't get sick or she doesn't get the procedure done on Monday.

We go home a couple of hours later. We want to relax before we drive home and we promised D that we would take her car for a detail before we go.

So we get back, and the MIL sits down with us to talk about some internet m*slim friend that she talked to on the phone. She doesn't say a word about the incident that happened earlier. Good for us, but we don't really feel interested, so we go outside to watch the kids swim. Not rude like, mind you...just convenient.

So, everything is going fine, and THEN we start packing up to leave. We haven't told the MIL yet. So while we are packing up, I happen to be in the office talking to D and her hubby. I hear some hateful words being exchanged and I'm not sure who SHE is talking to so I peek around the corner, but they are gone.

I go upstairs to pack and my daughter yanks me into the bathroom. "MOM, Grandma was SO mean to me!"

Apparently, the MIL noticed we were packing up, so she asks the wildchild why we are leaving. The wildchild tells her, she doesn't know, my parents decided to leave tonight instead of tomorrow morning. The MIL's response?

"Wildchild, I'm not STUPID! You should try and remember that!"

Uh...what?

That was the hateful words I heard earlier.

This is when I realize, the MIL thinks we are leaving because of the earlier fuss. Oh well, I'm not to concerned. I tell the wildchild not to worry about it, just keep packing and lets get the hell out of Dodge.

Now, before we leave, we still have to give the FIL his birthday card. We all just gave him money. It's easy and he can buy what he wants, as long as the MIL doesn't take it from him....LOL

We are just about packed up when the FIL states that he needs to go to the store for the MIL. Probably to get the good tp and water...HA

Bossman tells him that we need to give him his card first. The MIL comes downstairs looking all sulky and pouty and CRABBY! She seats herself in the recliner and doesn't say a word.

We give him his card and then we say goodbye to him. Then he leaves to run his errands like the good errand boy that he is.

Now it's time to say goodbye. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Rock, I could just ignore the MIL and leave with my head still intact. Hard place, I could say goodbye, but risk being bawled out.

So, I tell the children to say goodbye to the MIL and then I go over to say goodbye and she give me the freaking cold shoulder! BAH! I don't even care, I just want to get OUT! You could cut the tension with a knife.

We say goodbye to D, giving her lots of hugs and kisses. Then we leave. Bossman says goodbye to his mother. She gives him the cold shoulder also...

So, we head off to happier places. We are happy to be going home, sleeping in our own bed.

We are sad to leave D and leaving her with the MIL is never a good thing, but really, what choice did we have. Plus, I was pretty sure that she was going to ask her to go home the next day.

Half way home...D calls....it's not code yellow, it's not even code red....it's full blown code rainbow!

And that is how I'll leave it for today. Unfortunately poor D had to bear the brunt of the MILS wrath! But I will say this....the MIL left that night for home.