Written while ignoring laundry by
Christian domestic discipline
This article was posted on Facebook by a friend of mine. The article talks about Christian domestic discipline. The article itself isn't that bad, but the comments left behind are horrible.
What do you think about domestic discipline the Christian blanket? I think the comments would not have been so harsh had they just talked about domestic discipline and had left the Christian part out of it.
Personally, I feel like if you have two consenting adults then there should be no problem. What people do behind closed doors is their business.
Please read this article and tell me what you think, because right now, the world thinks we are nuts!
What do you think about domestic discipline the Christian blanket? I think the comments would not have been so harsh had they just talked about domestic discipline and had left the Christian part out of it.
Personally, I feel like if you have two consenting adults then there should be no problem. What people do behind closed doors is their business.
Please read this article and tell me what you think, because right now, the world thinks we are nuts!
Bdsm makes for better mental health? Interesting!
Very interesting article. What do you think?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/05/bdsm-better-mental-health-study_n_3390676.html?utm_hp_ref=
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/05/bdsm-better-mental-health-study_n_3390676.html?utm_hp_ref=
Confusion
Confusion is nothing new when it comes to this thing we do. Post after post, blog after blog you will find someone confused about the whole thing. We don't understand our feelings. Why do we like being spanked? Who knows? We are confused by that. Why do we want more? Why do we want less? What is our partner thinking? Should I try and get out of it? Should I ask for more? Am I crazy for letting him spanking me? So. Much. Confusion!
I'm no different! I am confused all the time. I want a spanking. I don't want a spanking. It's crazy.
So, I told you I was trying to get out of the habit of pulling away when he goes for the breasts. Mind you, I'm talking about outside the bed. Bossman has been trying to help with spanking. It's not helping. I mean it helps, but it doesn't. See? Confusion!
Have you ever found yourself angry after a spanking? I found this to be the case. After thinking it through, I realized it wasn't the spanking that was making me mad, it was the reason he was spanking. I don't want to be spanked for that. It doesn't seem fair. I've been topping from the bottom so long that I want to pick the reasons for the spanking. I don't think I'm being unreasonable at all.
I realize that I am being a brat. I finally have him spanking me for something serious and I don't like it. I should be happy about it. I'm finally getting him to engage in this thing seriously. So why am I unhappy about it?
We talk about it, but I'm afraid to say too much. I don't want him to give up. So I don't want to say what I'm really feeling. Plus, how am I really feeling? It seems that every day I feel something different. I certainly don't want to sabotage what I've got going.
So now I don't know what to do.
I'm so confused.
Written while ignoring laundry by:
grace
I'm no different! I am confused all the time. I want a spanking. I don't want a spanking. It's crazy.
So, I told you I was trying to get out of the habit of pulling away when he goes for the breasts. Mind you, I'm talking about outside the bed. Bossman has been trying to help with spanking. It's not helping. I mean it helps, but it doesn't. See? Confusion!
Have you ever found yourself angry after a spanking? I found this to be the case. After thinking it through, I realized it wasn't the spanking that was making me mad, it was the reason he was spanking. I don't want to be spanked for that. It doesn't seem fair. I've been topping from the bottom so long that I want to pick the reasons for the spanking. I don't think I'm being unreasonable at all.
I realize that I am being a brat. I finally have him spanking me for something serious and I don't like it. I should be happy about it. I'm finally getting him to engage in this thing seriously. So why am I unhappy about it?
We talk about it, but I'm afraid to say too much. I don't want him to give up. So I don't want to say what I'm really feeling. Plus, how am I really feeling? It seems that every day I feel something different. I certainly don't want to sabotage what I've got going.
So now I don't know what to do.
I'm so confused.
Written while ignoring laundry by:
grace
moody
Ever been in a mood? You know, the....I don't want you to touch me....mood.
Last week, I was in the don't spank me, don't touch me mood.
I really started thinking....do I really want to continue the spanking thing?
Two times, Bossman wanted to spank me, and I talked him out of it. I TALKED him out of it! Who am I and what have I done with grace?
The first time, he didn't spank. He let me get away without one. I thought I would feel bad about it, but I felt relief. That's when I started thinking that I don't really need to be spanked anymore, I thought I was over it.
The second time, I begged, I pleaded, I whined, (shudder, I hate when I whine!) and still, he decided to spank me. I called him every name in the book. (ok, I did that in my head, but still...) I tried wiggling out of it. Nope, he spanked. I wasn't happy about it but I also wasn't sad about it either.
Hmmm, ok, maybe I wasn't ready to give it all up after all.
Today, we were snuggling in bed waiting for the wildchild to leave for work, so we could have some fun. Bossman told me that when we were done, after we showered, he was going to spank me.
I don't know about you, but a spanking on a wet bottom? NO thanks!
I thought he was going to forget. We had a good time in bed and a nice shower so I thought I was going to get out of it. NOPE. He remembered.
He spanked, I whined.(GAH!) Then he told me that I wasn't allowed to say no to a spanking anymore. Unless I wanted to end the whole thing, I couldn't refuse a spanking. He said he knows when I'm not feeling good, but he knows when I'm just trying to get out of it. He said I can't keep confusing him, either I'm in....or I'm out. No more wishy washy stuff. (ok, for the record, he didn't say wishy washy, but that's what he meant.)
So, my bottom is sore....but I am good.
But seriously.....have you ever been in a mood?
Written while ignoring laundry by:
grace
Last week, I was in the don't spank me, don't touch me mood.
I really started thinking....do I really want to continue the spanking thing?
Two times, Bossman wanted to spank me, and I talked him out of it. I TALKED him out of it! Who am I and what have I done with grace?
The first time, he didn't spank. He let me get away without one. I thought I would feel bad about it, but I felt relief. That's when I started thinking that I don't really need to be spanked anymore, I thought I was over it.
The second time, I begged, I pleaded, I whined, (shudder, I hate when I whine!) and still, he decided to spank me. I called him every name in the book. (ok, I did that in my head, but still...) I tried wiggling out of it. Nope, he spanked. I wasn't happy about it but I also wasn't sad about it either.
Hmmm, ok, maybe I wasn't ready to give it all up after all.
Today, we were snuggling in bed waiting for the wildchild to leave for work, so we could have some fun. Bossman told me that when we were done, after we showered, he was going to spank me.
I don't know about you, but a spanking on a wet bottom? NO thanks!
I thought he was going to forget. We had a good time in bed and a nice shower so I thought I was going to get out of it. NOPE. He remembered.
He spanked, I whined.(GAH!) Then he told me that I wasn't allowed to say no to a spanking anymore. Unless I wanted to end the whole thing, I couldn't refuse a spanking. He said he knows when I'm not feeling good, but he knows when I'm just trying to get out of it. He said I can't keep confusing him, either I'm in....or I'm out. No more wishy washy stuff. (ok, for the record, he didn't say wishy washy, but that's what he meant.)
So, my bottom is sore....but I am good.
But seriously.....have you ever been in a mood?
Written while ignoring laundry by:
grace
Thanks PK!
I love it, I love it, I love it! It says Happy Birthday inside and stuff about me being her favorite person ever.....Ok, I may have exaggerated that part a bit, but I think you get the point.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I love getting mail from a friend. And kinky mail that vanillas find funny....well that's just icing on the cake!!!
PK? You know I love you, right?
HUGS!!!
grace
gracepaloosa week
It's gracepaloosa week!!!!!!
What? You haven't heard of it? Maybe that's because I just made it up! It's a week celebrating me! Me, me me...it's all about me!
Ok, it was my birthday on Monday, so you don't have to worry, I haven't lost my mind. Ok, I've lost my mind, but that's a different story for a different day....
Anywho....it was my birthday and we celebrated with cake and presents, as any good birthday should be celebrated. Now that I've reached the mature age of 45.....HA! Who am I kidding? I am not mature. So lets just celebrate all week! Cake for everyone!!!!
I had a serious post I was going to write, but this is my birthday week and I don't feel like being serious.
So, serious stuff later....for now....
Let's keep the party going!!!!!!
Written while ignoring laundry by:
grace
What? You haven't heard of it? Maybe that's because I just made it up! It's a week celebrating me! Me, me me...it's all about me!
Ok, it was my birthday on Monday, so you don't have to worry, I haven't lost my mind. Ok, I've lost my mind, but that's a different story for a different day....
Anywho....it was my birthday and we celebrated with cake and presents, as any good birthday should be celebrated. Now that I've reached the mature age of 45.....HA! Who am I kidding? I am not mature. So lets just celebrate all week! Cake for everyone!!!!
I had a serious post I was going to write, but this is my birthday week and I don't feel like being serious.
So, serious stuff later....for now....
Let's keep the party going!!!!!!
Written while ignoring laundry by:
grace
pain....and not the good kind
I've been in pain all weekend. I wish it was my bum that was in pain, but alas, it was my neck. My neck gives out once in a while and I'm left not being able to move. It's so painful that I can't lay down. When you are in pain, the first thing you want to do is lay down. When you can't lay down, it's just awful. Plus, you are exhausted from the pain, so when you can't lay down and sleep, it just makes everything worse.
I would like to point out that I have the best husband in the entire world. NO, I mean it. He's the best! On Saturday night, when I couldn't lay down, he propped me up on the sofa with a mound of blankets and pillows. Then....he didn't want to go back to bed without me, so he put himself on the love seat. Imagine, 6'4 Bossman on a teeny tiny love seat at two in the morning. It was awful!
After an hour or so, I dosed and then I finally just made us go back to bed. Bossman propped all the pillows there and I finally fell asleep.
Not fun!
Today, it still hurts, but not as bad. I am able to lay on one side, so I was able to get a decent night sleep. That always helps when hurting.
So that was my weekend! Please tell me yours was better!
Written while ignoring laundry by:
I would like to point out that I have the best husband in the entire world. NO, I mean it. He's the best! On Saturday night, when I couldn't lay down, he propped me up on the sofa with a mound of blankets and pillows. Then....he didn't want to go back to bed without me, so he put himself on the love seat. Imagine, 6'4 Bossman on a teeny tiny love seat at two in the morning. It was awful!
After an hour or so, I dosed and then I finally just made us go back to bed. Bossman propped all the pillows there and I finally fell asleep.
Not fun!
Today, it still hurts, but not as bad. I am able to lay on one side, so I was able to get a decent night sleep. That always helps when hurting.
So that was my weekend! Please tell me yours was better!
Written while ignoring laundry by:
Bossman
A fun meme all about Bossman.
1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen? If its the weekend he's watching NASCAR or football depending on the season. During the week it's basketball or baseball. He and I watch amazing race, apprentice, mentalist, once upon the time, and Grimm together. Lets just say, we love our DVR.
2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Ranch
3. The most striking thing about his physical appearance? His face!
4. You go out to eat and have a drink; what does he order? Pepsi or coke.
5. Where did he go to high school? At my rival high school
6. What size shoe does he wear? I think 11
7. If he were to collect anything, what would it be? Die-cast nascars
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Turkey, toasted
9. What would he eat every day if he could? Gummi bears
10. What is his favorite cereal? Cinnamon life
11. What would he never wear? A speedo
12. What is his favorite sports team? Rams, dodgers, lakers
13.Who did he vote for? No politics on this blog
14. Who is his best friend? Me!
15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? There are so many things...HA! Mostly, he wishes I would get out more. Also, he hates when I don't have clean towels for him
16. What is his heritage? All I know is his dad is half black and there is also some Indian in him
17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind? I usually buy him an ice cream cake. Although, last birthday I got someone to make a cake that looks like his car. He loves his car!
18. Did he play sports in high school? His parents wouldn't let him, but he plays softball now.
19. What could he spend hours doing? He has tons of hobbies. He works on his model railroad, he like to play racing games, he has a remote control plane, and if he had the money, he would race his race car more. Oh, and he loves playing sim city.
20. What is one unique talent he has? He is an amazing guitar player.
So there you have it! I hope I answered them right. I'll make Bossman check it over and make sure I got it right.
Life is good, knock on wood
Bossman and I are still working on our issues. He spanked me the other day and we chatted about the problem. Let me rephrase that. He chatted, I was not in the position to really chat. Trust me, I WAS listening. It's amazing how clear my hearing is when I am over his knee.
I'm still working on the whole touching thing. It's really hard for me, but I'm trying!
As for the spanking...he used the stupid brush again. Then he dropped the brush. When I picked it up later, we found out it was broken!
AW shucks! I guess this means I'll have to go shopping for a new brush. Getting spanked with the brush is not fun and you may think I'm crazy to buy another one, but there is something exciting about shopping for a spanking implement. Something a little bit naughty about looking at brushes and knowing it will be used for something other than hair.
As for the rest of life, it's going well. I've been feeling good lately, so that's good. My brother got married this weekend and that was fun. My son was in town for the wedding, so that was fun. All in all, things are good right now.
Somebody knock on wood for me. I don't want to lose all this good mojo.
I'm still working on the whole touching thing. It's really hard for me, but I'm trying!
As for the spanking...he used the stupid brush again. Then he dropped the brush. When I picked it up later, we found out it was broken!
AW shucks! I guess this means I'll have to go shopping for a new brush. Getting spanked with the brush is not fun and you may think I'm crazy to buy another one, but there is something exciting about shopping for a spanking implement. Something a little bit naughty about looking at brushes and knowing it will be used for something other than hair.
As for the rest of life, it's going well. I've been feeling good lately, so that's good. My brother got married this weekend and that was fun. My son was in town for the wedding, so that was fun. All in all, things are good right now.
Somebody knock on wood for me. I don't want to lose all this good mojo.
Funny pictures
Not sure where these came from, so if you know, let me know.
All I know is they are great! I love the old time photo with Ben Stiller. I wonder if this is from a movie.
two interesting things
I did get that spanking, but I'll have to talk about it later as I'm busy, busy, busy, getting ready for my brothers wedding.
In the mean time, I found these two interesting things.
First is a video of the Big Bang Theory. If you don't watch that show, it's quite funny...but my favorite clip is this:
Big Bang Theory
The second is this very interesting article:
http://www.salon.com/2013/04/12/gabrielle_reece_i_choose_to_serve_my_husband/
The clip is just funny, but what do you think about the article?
Discuss among yourselves, I'll get back to you later.....
grace
In the mean time, I found these two interesting things.
First is a video of the Big Bang Theory. If you don't watch that show, it's quite funny...but my favorite clip is this:
Big Bang Theory
The second is this very interesting article:
http://www.salon.com/2013/04/12/gabrielle_reece_i_choose_to_serve_my_husband/
The clip is just funny, but what do you think about the article?
Discuss among yourselves, I'll get back to you later.....
grace
I could
Not sure what to write about today.
I could write about the fight we had today regarding the laundry.
I could write about how I didn't think the laundry thing was my fault.
I could write about how waiting to wash the towels when all the towels are dirty, is not a good idea.
I could write about how mad Bossman was to not have a towel to use for his shower.
I could write about how I did all the other laundry, but thought the towels could wait until today.
I could write about how the laundry thing WAS my fault.
I could write about how I have been thinking about it all day.
I could write about how the wildchild is gone for the night.
I could write about how I'm worried about what will happen tonight..
I could write about how I'm worried nothing will happen tonight.
I could....
But I won't.
grace
I could write about the fight we had today regarding the laundry.
I could write about how I didn't think the laundry thing was my fault.
I could write about how waiting to wash the towels when all the towels are dirty, is not a good idea.
I could write about how mad Bossman was to not have a towel to use for his shower.
I could write about how I did all the other laundry, but thought the towels could wait until today.
I could write about how the laundry thing WAS my fault.
I could write about how I have been thinking about it all day.
I could write about how the wildchild is gone for the night.
I could write about how I'm worried about what will happen tonight..
I could write about how I'm worried nothing will happen tonight.
I could....
But I won't.
grace
Brush spanking
Bossman stayed true to his word and gave me the spanking that he thought I deserved!
It all happened Tuesday night when the wildchild was gone. I had a feeling it would happen, but I honestly hoped that it wouldn't. I was tired and not feeling that great that day. Leave it to Bossman to become consistent with his word!
It was a pretty hard spanking. Well, it was hard for me. He usually doesn't leave many marks, but frankly I think he was proud of the bruises he made last time, so he decided to try that again.
This time he used his hand and two different wooden brushes.
Wooden brushes? Um, yeah, they hurt. I would have to say that I still hate the backscratcher the most, but those dang brushes are a close second in the hate category.
After a brief break at the wall, he decided to try something new. He leaned me over the footboard of our bed. I can bend over it comfortably if I am on my toes, so yeah, it was interesting. We've never done that before. He spanked some more and then, well, then he had some fun. Not anal, but I'll let your imagination fill in the rest of that story.
As for the spanking, it did leave a couple of little bruises, but geezo, my butt was super itchy the next day.
We did talk about some things that happened over the week. We talked about the things that made us happy and the things we'd like to improve upon. I was quite pleased with the evening. Even if my butt was itchy!
So what have we decided about spankings with brushes? I found that since there were two different brushes, they felt different. One wasn't very heavy, it didn't hurt as much, the other was heavier and so it was more thuddy which hurt more.
Is there a brush that spanks better than others? What about a paddle that is shaped like a brush? I suddenly realized....
All brush spankings are not the same!
And that my friends is the lesson for today!
grace
It all happened Tuesday night when the wildchild was gone. I had a feeling it would happen, but I honestly hoped that it wouldn't. I was tired and not feeling that great that day. Leave it to Bossman to become consistent with his word!
It was a pretty hard spanking. Well, it was hard for me. He usually doesn't leave many marks, but frankly I think he was proud of the bruises he made last time, so he decided to try that again.
This time he used his hand and two different wooden brushes.
Wooden brushes? Um, yeah, they hurt. I would have to say that I still hate the backscratcher the most, but those dang brushes are a close second in the hate category.
After a brief break at the wall, he decided to try something new. He leaned me over the footboard of our bed. I can bend over it comfortably if I am on my toes, so yeah, it was interesting. We've never done that before. He spanked some more and then, well, then he had some fun. Not anal, but I'll let your imagination fill in the rest of that story.
As for the spanking, it did leave a couple of little bruises, but geezo, my butt was super itchy the next day.
We did talk about some things that happened over the week. We talked about the things that made us happy and the things we'd like to improve upon. I was quite pleased with the evening. Even if my butt was itchy!
So what have we decided about spankings with brushes? I found that since there were two different brushes, they felt different. One wasn't very heavy, it didn't hurt as much, the other was heavier and so it was more thuddy which hurt more.
Is there a brush that spanks better than others? What about a paddle that is shaped like a brush? I suddenly realized....
All brush spankings are not the same!
And that my friends is the lesson for today!
grace
Time for a change
I hope you all had a good weekend. Mine was good. It was sad to take the young man back to school, but on the other hand, it's an awful lot of work when he's around. There is more dishes, more food to buy and WAY more laundry! I feel like I can be on vacation now that he's back at school.
Things have been ok between Bossman and I. I feel like we are falling into the same patterns as before, but it's so hard when the house is full. The wildchild is gone for the night, so I'm wondering what will happen tonight. I don't have any expectations. Honestly, I had a bad night last night, sleep wise, so I don't imagine that I'm going to be up to anything crazy.
I know I told you all that my dad died in November. If you read back then, you'll know the story of my sister taking care of him, moving him to our area and all that. I had no relationship with him and so that was fine that she did all that, it was her choice. Why she chose to take care of a man she hardly knew, someone who didn't take care of either of us....it's beyond me. I can't figure it out, but it was her choice.
Rather than go back and see if I already told you this, I'm just going to tell you what she did after the death.....
See, the man had no money, no insurance, no nothing. So, my sister took to facebook to ask people for money so she could get him cremated. You don't know how hard it was to watch people give her such sympathy and money. Most of her friends don't know the history, so of course, they would be sympathetic to anyone that lost a parent.
FYI, if a person dies without means to cremate them, our county will do it and they just take the ashes to the ocean. Had I been in charge, I would have let them do that! Instead, my sister raised 1500 dollars to cremate him.
And then.....
AND THEN!!!!!
She had the gall to make a necklace out of his ashes......
~sigh~
The necklace is big....and gaudy. AND then, as if that wasn't enough......
GAH, I can't even begin to tell you how annoying she is.....
Anyway, she didn't tell me any of this. I found out about the necklace from my mother. My mother found out from my brother. My brother (who has a different father) found out from his fiancee. Guess how the fiancee found out.
The fiancee is a teacher. She teaches at the same school that my sisters son goes to. After my brother proposed to her, she saw my sister at school and they stopped to chat. The fiancee showed my sister the engagement ring. My sister thought this was a GREAT time to show off her new necklace.
Yep....
It played out a little like this: Sister: Oh A! Congrats on the engagement. Let's see the ring.
A: Holds out her hand for sister to look at ring.
Sister: Oh, did you see my new necklace? It's my fathers ashes!
Cue the music: Dum dum duuuuuummmmmmm................
A few weeks later there was an engagement party for my brother. I just found out from my mother that she got the necklace.
We are at the party chatting and I'm looking at my sister and she's got all dolled up, She had a big green necklace, kinda looked like an emerald on her neck. Not really thinking......
I almost said something about the necklace. You know, like nice necklace....something like that but right before the words came out of my mouth, I remembered! OMG, she's wearing my fathers ashes around her neck like a beacon at my brothers engagement party.
In that moment, I wanted to rip the necklace right off her neck and stomp all over it! Of course, I didn't. I didn't say a thing. I just walked away and stayed away from her the rest of the party. BUT...I could see others that didn't know, commenting to her about her necklace.
WAY to put the focus on YOU, sister!
Honestly, am I the only one that thought that was the rudest most disrespectful thing she could have done? Who makes a necklace of their fathers ashes when their father didn't even take care of them? She only saw him 4 times in her life, up until the time she moved him out here. ~sigh~ Some people are just weird!
Oh, by the way, do you like the change around here? I was really ready for a change. I hope you like it.
grace
Things have been ok between Bossman and I. I feel like we are falling into the same patterns as before, but it's so hard when the house is full. The wildchild is gone for the night, so I'm wondering what will happen tonight. I don't have any expectations. Honestly, I had a bad night last night, sleep wise, so I don't imagine that I'm going to be up to anything crazy.
I know I told you all that my dad died in November. If you read back then, you'll know the story of my sister taking care of him, moving him to our area and all that. I had no relationship with him and so that was fine that she did all that, it was her choice. Why she chose to take care of a man she hardly knew, someone who didn't take care of either of us....it's beyond me. I can't figure it out, but it was her choice.
Rather than go back and see if I already told you this, I'm just going to tell you what she did after the death.....
See, the man had no money, no insurance, no nothing. So, my sister took to facebook to ask people for money so she could get him cremated. You don't know how hard it was to watch people give her such sympathy and money. Most of her friends don't know the history, so of course, they would be sympathetic to anyone that lost a parent.
FYI, if a person dies without means to cremate them, our county will do it and they just take the ashes to the ocean. Had I been in charge, I would have let them do that! Instead, my sister raised 1500 dollars to cremate him.
And then.....
AND THEN!!!!!
She had the gall to make a necklace out of his ashes......
~sigh~
The necklace is big....and gaudy. AND then, as if that wasn't enough......
GAH, I can't even begin to tell you how annoying she is.....
Anyway, she didn't tell me any of this. I found out about the necklace from my mother. My mother found out from my brother. My brother (who has a different father) found out from his fiancee. Guess how the fiancee found out.
The fiancee is a teacher. She teaches at the same school that my sisters son goes to. After my brother proposed to her, she saw my sister at school and they stopped to chat. The fiancee showed my sister the engagement ring. My sister thought this was a GREAT time to show off her new necklace.
Yep....
It played out a little like this: Sister: Oh A! Congrats on the engagement. Let's see the ring.
A: Holds out her hand for sister to look at ring.
Sister: Oh, did you see my new necklace? It's my fathers ashes!
Cue the music: Dum dum duuuuuummmmmmm................
A few weeks later there was an engagement party for my brother. I just found out from my mother that she got the necklace.
We are at the party chatting and I'm looking at my sister and she's got all dolled up, She had a big green necklace, kinda looked like an emerald on her neck. Not really thinking......
I almost said something about the necklace. You know, like nice necklace....something like that but right before the words came out of my mouth, I remembered! OMG, she's wearing my fathers ashes around her neck like a beacon at my brothers engagement party.
In that moment, I wanted to rip the necklace right off her neck and stomp all over it! Of course, I didn't. I didn't say a thing. I just walked away and stayed away from her the rest of the party. BUT...I could see others that didn't know, commenting to her about her necklace.
WAY to put the focus on YOU, sister!
Honestly, am I the only one that thought that was the rudest most disrespectful thing she could have done? Who makes a necklace of their fathers ashes when their father didn't even take care of them? She only saw him 4 times in her life, up until the time she moved him out here. ~sigh~ Some people are just weird!
Oh, by the way, do you like the change around here? I was really ready for a change. I hope you like it.
grace
Nine years later...
Well, it's official, I've been blogging (off and on) for nine years! 9 years ago, I started this little blog, not really knowing how long I would be at it. I figured it would be something to occupy my time and that eventually I would get bored.
I guess I did get bored for a while....but I'm still hanging on to the old blog. I can't imagine just giving it up.
Over the last 9 years...things have changed. The little man, is now a young man. He was in kindergarten when I started this thing, and now he's a freshman in high school. His sister is all grown up at 22, she was only 13 when I began. She will always be the wildchild though!
Bossman and I have seen our fair share of troubles. We've gone through the death of his sister, the craziness of his mother ( we haven't spoken too since June.) and cancer. Through it all we have been each others cheerleader, lover, caretaker, and friend. And we still love each other! Isn't that amazing?
I'd just like to thank you all for reading my crazy words. Some of you are new, but others have been around a long time. I've met a couple of you in person and it was perhaps one of the most exciting experiences I've had. We were able to be ourselves in a world where most of the time we can only be our true spanko selves on a blog or in the privacy of our bedroom. I will always treasure those couple of days.
I look forward to continuing my journey on this blog. It might not be the most entertaining thing around and it may not always be pretty. But in the end it really is just...
A Day In the Life...
of me.
Written while ignoring laundry by::
I guess I did get bored for a while....but I'm still hanging on to the old blog. I can't imagine just giving it up.
Over the last 9 years...things have changed. The little man, is now a young man. He was in kindergarten when I started this thing, and now he's a freshman in high school. His sister is all grown up at 22, she was only 13 when I began. She will always be the wildchild though!
Bossman and I have seen our fair share of troubles. We've gone through the death of his sister, the craziness of his mother ( we haven't spoken too since June.) and cancer. Through it all we have been each others cheerleader, lover, caretaker, and friend. And we still love each other! Isn't that amazing?
I'd just like to thank you all for reading my crazy words. Some of you are new, but others have been around a long time. I've met a couple of you in person and it was perhaps one of the most exciting experiences I've had. We were able to be ourselves in a world where most of the time we can only be our true spanko selves on a blog or in the privacy of our bedroom. I will always treasure those couple of days.
I look forward to continuing my journey on this blog. It might not be the most entertaining thing around and it may not always be pretty. But in the end it really is just...
A Day In the Life...
of me.
Written while ignoring laundry by::
It's hard...
Yesterday was hard. I knew I was pushing away, but I couldn't seem to help myself. He noticed. I did try, but he could tell I was uncomfortable. He said when the house is free we would discuss it further. I wonder how much talking I'll be doing during that conversation.
This is hard.
I would like it to be easier...please!
In other news....the young man is heading back to school on Sunday. The wildchild...and she will always be the wildchild....moved back in last month. She recently got a part time job, to go along with the part time job she already has. Which means she might actually be able to move out again.
So there's that.
I like the empty nest. I love when the kids are home, but I enjoy when they leave also. Summer is going to be so long!
I hope you all have a great weekend with good food and family....I know I will!
Written while ignoring laundry by::
This is hard.
I would like it to be easier...please!
In other news....the young man is heading back to school on Sunday. The wildchild...and she will always be the wildchild....moved back in last month. She recently got a part time job, to go along with the part time job she already has. Which means she might actually be able to move out again.
So there's that.
I like the empty nest. I love when the kids are home, but I enjoy when they leave also. Summer is going to be so long!
I hope you all have a great weekend with good food and family....I know I will!
Written while ignoring laundry by::
It's not about me...or is it?
Life certainly gets in the way when you are trying to live it!
Everything is status quo here. The young man is here for spring break, so we've had to play it cool around here. It's hard to even have sex when he's around as his door is right next to ours...stupid! Why wasn't I paying more attention to that when we bought this stupid house?
With that said, I've been really trying to do things that Bossman likes. Touching him more, massaging him more...heck, I even gave the man a bj the other night...that is UNHEARD of in this house!
He's loved every minute of it and he's been extra sweet to me as well. I like it. I'm still not sure how long it will last because I'm pessimistic that way, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts.
I've had a lot of issues with hormones, due to medication I take, and so there are so many times when I am not in the mood. With that said, I have to understand that it doesn't mean HE's not in the mood. I can still be sweet to him without the whole...sex thing...right?
I am a selfish woman. I want it to be all about me! I have to understand that it can't always be about me. I have to understand that he has needs. I have to learn to keep this mindset. It's so HARD! I really want it to be about me, me, ME!
I realized that the past...oh, I don't know....3 years...have been all about me. The cancer made everything about me and I got used to it. I got comfortable in that victim mentality. I have to step away from that and learn that it's not all about me. (blah!)
So, let's review...it's not about me. It's not about me. It's not about me.
Ok, it's about me.
I just have to remember that it is about me when I do good things for HIM!
I think.....
Written while ignoring laundry by::
Everything is status quo here. The young man is here for spring break, so we've had to play it cool around here. It's hard to even have sex when he's around as his door is right next to ours...stupid! Why wasn't I paying more attention to that when we bought this stupid house?
With that said, I've been really trying to do things that Bossman likes. Touching him more, massaging him more...heck, I even gave the man a bj the other night...that is UNHEARD of in this house!
He's loved every minute of it and he's been extra sweet to me as well. I like it. I'm still not sure how long it will last because I'm pessimistic that way, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts.
I've had a lot of issues with hormones, due to medication I take, and so there are so many times when I am not in the mood. With that said, I have to understand that it doesn't mean HE's not in the mood. I can still be sweet to him without the whole...sex thing...right?
I am a selfish woman. I want it to be all about me! I have to understand that it can't always be about me. I have to understand that he has needs. I have to learn to keep this mindset. It's so HARD! I really want it to be about me, me, ME!
I realized that the past...oh, I don't know....3 years...have been all about me. The cancer made everything about me and I got used to it. I got comfortable in that victim mentality. I have to step away from that and learn that it's not all about me. (blah!)
So, let's review...it's not about me. It's not about me. It's not about me.
Ok, it's about me.
I just have to remember that it is about me when I do good things for HIM!
I think.....
Written while ignoring laundry by::
Thinking it through
Thank you all for your comments! Some of them were too long to comment on in the comment section. (Hi Amber!)
I have to say I've missed all your comments and insightful takes on my life problems. Heh! Oh, and PK? I was soooooo surprised to see your comment! How did I know you'd be the first to comment?
I've done some thinking.....and Bossman and I have done a lot of talking. The thing is, our marriage has been going down a rocky path. Oh, it's not like we've been fighting with each other, or things have been miserable, but things haven't been "happy". We haven't been close. We've been going through the motions, but our hearts haven't been in it.
I've been blaming myself. Bossman takes such good care of me, and I've taken that for granted. For a long time, I've noticed that Bossman hasn't been happy. I thought it was because I was holding him back. Back from the things he wants to do in life. Things that I either don't want to do with him, or things that I just can't do with him. It's hard to feel that way. It's hard to think that you are holding the person you love back.
More importantly though, I think Bossman has felt neglected. Honestly, I haven't been holding back on purpose, but I've gotten into a pattern of just going through life, not really thinking about my husbands needs. Sure, we've had sex, but it's always the same old thing. No excitement. Almost like a chore. My husband needs me. He needs me to attend to his needs as much as I need him to attend to mine.
As I've been thinking about this, it came to my attention that maybe I need to be more submissive. I don't really like that word, but I have to call it what it is. I need to submit to him. I need to take care of him in all aspects of life. I need to give him the affection he needs, I need to take care of him emotionally, not just physically. If I do that he will be happier and if he's happier, I'll be happier. Our marriage will be happier for it.
So, we've made a commitment to give this a go. We are going to try and be more attentive to each others needs. Yes, we talked about incorporating spanking, to make me happy, and about me being more open to giving him what he needs, attention from me. Personally, I've decided to be more open about things in the bedroom. I need to be more worried about making him happy than about getting it over with.
It sounds so easy when I write it down, but I think it's going to be hard.
What do you think? Any ideas?
Written while ignoring laundry by:
I have to say I've missed all your comments and insightful takes on my life problems. Heh! Oh, and PK? I was soooooo surprised to see your comment! How did I know you'd be the first to comment?
I've done some thinking.....and Bossman and I have done a lot of talking. The thing is, our marriage has been going down a rocky path. Oh, it's not like we've been fighting with each other, or things have been miserable, but things haven't been "happy". We haven't been close. We've been going through the motions, but our hearts haven't been in it.
I've been blaming myself. Bossman takes such good care of me, and I've taken that for granted. For a long time, I've noticed that Bossman hasn't been happy. I thought it was because I was holding him back. Back from the things he wants to do in life. Things that I either don't want to do with him, or things that I just can't do with him. It's hard to feel that way. It's hard to think that you are holding the person you love back.
More importantly though, I think Bossman has felt neglected. Honestly, I haven't been holding back on purpose, but I've gotten into a pattern of just going through life, not really thinking about my husbands needs. Sure, we've had sex, but it's always the same old thing. No excitement. Almost like a chore. My husband needs me. He needs me to attend to his needs as much as I need him to attend to mine.
As I've been thinking about this, it came to my attention that maybe I need to be more submissive. I don't really like that word, but I have to call it what it is. I need to submit to him. I need to take care of him in all aspects of life. I need to give him the affection he needs, I need to take care of him emotionally, not just physically. If I do that he will be happier and if he's happier, I'll be happier. Our marriage will be happier for it.
So, we've made a commitment to give this a go. We are going to try and be more attentive to each others needs. Yes, we talked about incorporating spanking, to make me happy, and about me being more open to giving him what he needs, attention from me. Personally, I've decided to be more open about things in the bedroom. I need to be more worried about making him happy than about getting it over with.
It sounds so easy when I write it down, but I think it's going to be hard.
What do you think? Any ideas?
Written while ignoring laundry by:
confused and bruised...
I'm still not sure how I feel about what happened the other night. It was a lot more intense than I thought it would be and I'm not just talking about the spanking part of it.
I think I'll just write what happened and see how I feel about it after I write it. Sometimes that helps me think things through.
When I last left the tale, I said that Bossman told me he would spank me again as soon as the wildchild wasn't around. Turns out, that was the next night as she had to work. He asked me when she was due home and I told him, not really thinking about what he had promised. After dinner, he proceeded to take my hand and lead me to the bedroom. As soon as he reached for my hand, I remembered the promise. I wasn't too thrilled with the prospect. After the spanking the day before, I realized that my butt was still sensitive, since I have not been spanked in a couple of months.
He immediately took my pants off and pulled me over his lap. He gave me a long hard hand spanking. Then there was a visit with the backscratcher. Then there was some wall time. Then I was back over the bed for another round with his hand. It wasn't as bad as I though, I mean, it hurt like crazy, but it wasn't to the point where I couldn't take it.
Then he started talking. As he talked, he didn't like the way I answered some of his questions, or the tone I was using and he started spanking again. It was then that I realized, this was serious. This was a serious talk and this wasn't just for fun.
His talk centered around me being more affectionate. I'm not the most affectionate person in the world. I am not one to touch him without a reason. I mean, I hug, I kiss....actually, now that I think about it, I'm not that bad. I feel that I am affectionate, but I feel like it's never enough for him.
This is really hard to write about.
I feel like I don't make him happy. He feels that when I push him away, it's me rejecting him. I say, it's not rejection, it's me just not wanting to be messed with right then.
Is that rejection? Aren't I allowed to NOT want to be touched once in awhile? What does a couple do that is not compatible in the affection department. I honestly don't think I hold back. I just am not that touchy feely. BUT, I touch him. I hug him, I snuggle up to him.
Just typing this up is making me upset. I should go back to the story....
He talked and I listened, but apparently, I didn't get it. I started crying. I tried stating my side, he said it was the same argument and I wasn't hearing him.
Then it was over. Only I was upset. AND, I realized my butt was bruised up nicely. I wasn't upset about that. I was worried that HE would be upset by that. It was dark in the room, so he didn't see it.
He started walking away, but then he realize I was still upset so then we started talking again. I tried so hard not to bring up the same stuff I always do.
I tried to really understand where he was coming from. I'm still processing it. I realize that he just needs more affection than I. That when we dressing and he grabs my boobs, it's just being playful. I don't like it, but he sees it as me rejecting him. I could grab at him all day long and he would LOVE it. So he doesn't understand it. He told me I was beautiful and that he, as my husband, should be able to touch me whenever he wanted. I have to try not to be so sensitive about it......
Well, this is getting rambly and I'm not sure how to end it....
I should let you know, he's actually quite proud of the bruises. After talking to him yesterday and showing him, I asked how he felt about them and he said it was about time, I need that more often.
Bottom line is, I DID feel a lot better after the whole episode. I mean I felt a lot better letting go of all the emotion that was bottled up inside. BUT, I also felt and still feel confused.
The spanking and the talk didn't really go hand in hand. I was getting spanked and that was good, (or bad) and then we were talking about emotional things and that was bad. Putting them together? I don't know.... We ended with the promise of trying to change. I will try and be more affectionate and less quick to push away and he promised to spank more.....so that's good, right?
I know this is confusing, but I could really use some feedback....anybody have some?
Written while ignoring laundry by:
I think I'll just write what happened and see how I feel about it after I write it. Sometimes that helps me think things through.
When I last left the tale, I said that Bossman told me he would spank me again as soon as the wildchild wasn't around. Turns out, that was the next night as she had to work. He asked me when she was due home and I told him, not really thinking about what he had promised. After dinner, he proceeded to take my hand and lead me to the bedroom. As soon as he reached for my hand, I remembered the promise. I wasn't too thrilled with the prospect. After the spanking the day before, I realized that my butt was still sensitive, since I have not been spanked in a couple of months.
He immediately took my pants off and pulled me over his lap. He gave me a long hard hand spanking. Then there was a visit with the backscratcher. Then there was some wall time. Then I was back over the bed for another round with his hand. It wasn't as bad as I though, I mean, it hurt like crazy, but it wasn't to the point where I couldn't take it.
Then he started talking. As he talked, he didn't like the way I answered some of his questions, or the tone I was using and he started spanking again. It was then that I realized, this was serious. This was a serious talk and this wasn't just for fun.
His talk centered around me being more affectionate. I'm not the most affectionate person in the world. I am not one to touch him without a reason. I mean, I hug, I kiss....actually, now that I think about it, I'm not that bad. I feel that I am affectionate, but I feel like it's never enough for him.
This is really hard to write about.
I feel like I don't make him happy. He feels that when I push him away, it's me rejecting him. I say, it's not rejection, it's me just not wanting to be messed with right then.
Is that rejection? Aren't I allowed to NOT want to be touched once in awhile? What does a couple do that is not compatible in the affection department. I honestly don't think I hold back. I just am not that touchy feely. BUT, I touch him. I hug him, I snuggle up to him.
Just typing this up is making me upset. I should go back to the story....
He talked and I listened, but apparently, I didn't get it. I started crying. I tried stating my side, he said it was the same argument and I wasn't hearing him.
Then it was over. Only I was upset. AND, I realized my butt was bruised up nicely. I wasn't upset about that. I was worried that HE would be upset by that. It was dark in the room, so he didn't see it.
He started walking away, but then he realize I was still upset so then we started talking again. I tried so hard not to bring up the same stuff I always do.
I tried to really understand where he was coming from. I'm still processing it. I realize that he just needs more affection than I. That when we dressing and he grabs my boobs, it's just being playful. I don't like it, but he sees it as me rejecting him. I could grab at him all day long and he would LOVE it. So he doesn't understand it. He told me I was beautiful and that he, as my husband, should be able to touch me whenever he wanted. I have to try not to be so sensitive about it......
Well, this is getting rambly and I'm not sure how to end it....
I should let you know, he's actually quite proud of the bruises. After talking to him yesterday and showing him, I asked how he felt about them and he said it was about time, I need that more often.
Bottom line is, I DID feel a lot better after the whole episode. I mean I felt a lot better letting go of all the emotion that was bottled up inside. BUT, I also felt and still feel confused.
The spanking and the talk didn't really go hand in hand. I was getting spanked and that was good, (or bad) and then we were talking about emotional things and that was bad. Putting them together? I don't know.... We ended with the promise of trying to change. I will try and be more affectionate and less quick to push away and he promised to spank more.....so that's good, right?
I know this is confusing, but I could really use some feedback....anybody have some?
Written while ignoring laundry by:
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