Bossman

A fun meme all about Bossman.

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen? If its the weekend he's watching NASCAR or football depending on the season. During the week it's basketball or baseball. He and I watch amazing race, apprentice, mentalist, once upon the time, and Grimm together. Lets just say, we love our DVR.

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Ranch

3. The most striking thing about his physical appearance? His face!

4. You go out to eat and have a drink; what does he order? Pepsi or coke.

5. Where did he go to high school? At my rival high school

6. What size shoe does he wear? I think 11

7. If he were to collect anything, what would it be? Die-cast nascars

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Turkey, toasted

9. What would he eat every day if he could? Gummi bears

10. What is his favorite cereal? Cinnamon life

11. What would he never wear? A speedo

12. What is his favorite sports team? Rams, dodgers, lakers

13.Who did he vote for? No politics on this blog

14. Who is his best friend? Me!

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? There are so many things...HA! Mostly, he wishes I would get out more. Also, he hates when I don't have clean towels for him 

16. What is his heritage? All I know is his dad is half black and there is also some Indian in him

17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind? I usually buy him an ice cream cake. Although, last birthday I got someone to make a cake that looks like his car. He loves his car!

18. Did he play sports in high school? His parents wouldn't let him, but he plays softball now.

19. What could he spend hours doing? He has tons of hobbies. He works on his model railroad, he like to play racing games, he has a remote control plane, and if he had the money, he would race his race car more. Oh, and he loves playing sim city.

20. What is one unique talent he has? He is an amazing guitar player.

So there you have it! I hope I answered them right.  I'll make Bossman check it over and make sure I got it right.

Life is good, knock on wood

Bossman and I are still working on our issues. He spanked me the other day and we chatted about the problem. Let me rephrase that. He chatted, I was not in the position to really chat. Trust me, I WAS listening. It's amazing how clear my hearing is when I am over his knee.

I'm still working on the whole touching thing. It's really hard for me, but I'm trying!

As for the spanking...he used the stupid brush again. Then he dropped the brush. When I picked it up later, we found out it was broken!

AW shucks! I guess this means I'll have to go shopping for a new brush.  Getting spanked with the brush is not fun and you may think I'm crazy to buy another one, but there is something exciting about shopping for a spanking implement. Something a little bit naughty about looking at brushes and knowing it will be used for something other than hair.

As for the rest of life, it's going well. I've been feeling good lately, so that's good. My brother got married this weekend and that was fun. My son was in town for the wedding, so that was fun. All in all, things are good right now.

Somebody knock on wood for me. I don't want to lose all this good mojo.

Funny pictures

Not sure where these came from, so if you know, let me know. 

 

All I know is they are great!  I love the old time photo with Ben Stiller.  I wonder if this is from a movie.

 

 

 

 

 

two interesting things

I did get that spanking, but I'll have to talk about it later as I'm busy, busy, busy, getting ready for my brothers wedding.

In the mean time, I found these two interesting things. 

First is a video of the Big Bang Theory.  If you don't watch that show, it's quite funny...but my favorite clip is this:

Big Bang Theory

The second is this very interesting article:
http://www.salon.com/2013/04/12/gabrielle_reece_i_choose_to_serve_my_husband/

The clip is just funny, but what do you think about the article?

Discuss among yourselves, I'll get back to you later.....

grace

I could

Not sure what to write about today.

I could write about the fight we had today regarding the laundry.

I could write about how I didn't think the laundry thing was my fault.

I could write about how waiting to wash the towels when all the towels are dirty, is not a good idea.

I could write about how mad Bossman was to not have a towel to use for his shower.

I could write about how I did all the other laundry, but thought the towels could wait until today.

I could write about how the laundry thing WAS my fault.

I could write about how I have been thinking about it all day.

I could write about how the wildchild is gone for the night.

I could write about how I'm worried about what will happen tonight..

I could write about how I'm worried nothing will happen tonight.

I could....

But I won't.

grace

Brush spanking

Bossman stayed true to his word and gave me the spanking that he thought I deserved!

It all happened Tuesday night when the wildchild was gone. I had a feeling it would happen, but I honestly hoped that it wouldn't. I was tired and not feeling that great that day.  Leave it to Bossman to become consistent with his word!

It was a pretty hard spanking.  Well, it was hard for me.  He usually doesn't leave many marks, but frankly I think he was proud of the bruises he made last time, so he decided to try that again.

This time he used his hand and two different wooden brushes.

Wooden brushes? Um, yeah, they hurt.  I would have to say that I still hate the backscratcher the most, but those dang brushes are a close second in the hate category.

After a brief break at the wall, he decided to try something new. He leaned me over the footboard of our bed.  I can bend over it comfortably if I am on my toes, so yeah, it was interesting.  We've never done that before.  He spanked some more and then, well, then he had some fun.  Not anal, but I'll let your imagination fill in the rest of that story.

As for the spanking, it did leave a couple of little bruises, but geezo, my butt was super itchy the next day.

We did talk about some things that happened over the week.  We talked about the things that made us happy and the things we'd like to improve upon. I was quite pleased with the evening. Even if my butt was itchy!

So what have we decided about spankings with brushes? I found that since there were two different brushes, they felt different. One wasn't very heavy, it didn't hurt as much, the other was heavier and so it was more thuddy which hurt more.

Is there a brush that spanks better than others?  What about a paddle that is shaped like a brush? I suddenly realized....

All brush spankings are not the same!

And that my friends is the lesson for today!

grace

Time for a change

I hope you all had a good weekend.  Mine was good.  It was sad to take the young man back to school, but on the other hand, it's an awful lot of work when he's around.  There is more dishes, more food to buy and WAY more laundry!  I feel like I can be on vacation now that he's back at school.

Things have been ok between Bossman and I.  I feel like we are falling into the same patterns as before, but it's so hard when the house is full.  The wildchild is gone for the night, so I'm wondering what will happen tonight.  I don't have any expectations.  Honestly, I had a bad night last night, sleep wise, so I don't imagine that I'm going to be up to anything crazy.

I know I told you all that my dad died in November.  If you read back then, you'll know the story of my sister taking care of him, moving him to our area and all that.  I had no relationship with him and so that was fine that she did all that, it was her choice.  Why she chose to take care of a man she hardly knew, someone who didn't take care of either of us....it's beyond me.  I can't figure it out, but it was her choice. 

Rather than go back and see if I already told you this, I'm just going to tell you what she did after the death.....

See, the man had no money, no insurance, no nothing.  So, my sister took to facebook to ask people for money so she could get him cremated.  You don't know how hard it was to watch people give her such sympathy and money.  Most of her friends don't know the history, so of course, they would be sympathetic to anyone that lost a parent.

FYI, if a person dies without means to cremate them, our county will do it and they just take the ashes to the ocean.  Had I been in charge, I would have let them do that!  Instead, my sister raised 1500 dollars to cremate him. 

And then.....

AND THEN!!!!!

She had the gall to make a necklace out of his ashes......

~sigh~

The necklace is big....and gaudy.  AND then, as if that wasn't enough......

GAH, I can't even begin to tell you how annoying she is.....

Anyway, she didn't tell me any of this.  I found out about the necklace from my mother.  My mother found out from my brother.  My brother (who has a different father) found out from his fiancee.  Guess how the fiancee found out. 

The fiancee is a teacher.  She teaches at the same school that my sisters son goes to.  After my brother proposed to her, she saw my sister at school and they stopped to chat.  The fiancee showed my sister the engagement ring.  My sister thought this was a GREAT time to show off her new necklace.

Yep....

It played out a  little like this:  Sister:  Oh A! Congrats on the engagement.  Let's see the ring.

A: Holds out her hand for sister to look at ring.

Sister: Oh, did you see my new necklace?  It's my fathers ashes!

Cue the music: Dum dum duuuuuummmmmmm................

A few weeks later there was an engagement party for my brother.  I just found out from my mother that she got the necklace. 

We are at the party chatting and I'm looking at my sister and she's got all dolled up, She had a big green necklace, kinda looked like an emerald on her neck.  Not really thinking......

I almost said something about the necklace.  You know, like nice necklace....something like that but right before the words came out of my mouth, I remembered!  OMG, she's wearing my fathers ashes around her neck like a beacon at my brothers engagement party.

In that moment, I wanted to rip the necklace right off her neck and stomp all over it!  Of course, I didn't.  I didn't say a thing.  I just walked away and stayed away from her the rest of the party.  BUT...I could see others that didn't know, commenting to her about her necklace. 

WAY to put the focus on YOU, sister! 

Honestly, am I the only one that thought that was the rudest most disrespectful thing she could have done?  Who makes a necklace of their fathers ashes when their father didn't even take care of them?  She only saw him 4 times in her life, up until the time she moved him out here.  ~sigh~  Some people are just weird!

Oh, by the way, do you like the change around here?  I was really ready for a change.  I hope you like it.

grace

Nine years later...

Well, it's official, I've been blogging (off and on) for nine years! 9 years ago, I started this little blog, not really knowing how long I would be at it. I figured it would be something to occupy my time and that eventually I would get bored.

I guess I did get bored for a while....but I'm still hanging on to the old blog.  I can't imagine just giving it up.

Over the last 9 years...things have changed.  The little man, is now a young man.  He was in kindergarten when I started this thing, and now he's a freshman in high school.  His sister is all grown up at 22, she was only 13 when I began. She will always be the wildchild though!

Bossman and I have seen our fair share of troubles.  We've gone through the death of his sister, the craziness of his mother ( we haven't spoken too since June.) and cancer. Through it all we have been each others cheerleader, lover, caretaker, and friend.  And we still love each other! Isn't that amazing?

I'd just like to thank you all for reading my crazy words. Some of you are new, but others have been around a long time.  I've met a couple of you in person and it was perhaps one of the most exciting experiences I've had.  We were able to be ourselves in a world where most of the time we can only be our true spanko selves on a blog or in the privacy of our bedroom. I will always treasure those couple of days.

I look forward to continuing my journey on this blog.  It might not be the most entertaining thing around and it may not always be pretty. But in the end it really is just...

A Day In the Life...

of me.


Written while ignoring laundry by::

It's hard...

Yesterday was hard. I knew I was pushing away, but I couldn't seem to help myself.  He noticed. I did try, but he could tell I was uncomfortable. He said when the house is free we would discuss it further. I wonder how much talking I'll be doing during that conversation.

This is hard.

I would like it to be easier...please!

In other news....the young man is heading back to school on Sunday. The wildchild...and she will always be the wildchild....moved back in last month.  She recently got a part time job, to go along with the part time job she already has. Which means she might actually be able to move out again.

So there's that.

I like the empty nest.  I love when the kids are home, but I enjoy when they leave also.  Summer is going to be so long!

I hope you all have a great weekend with good food and family....I know I will!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

It's not about me...or is it?

Life certainly gets in the way when you are trying to live it!

Everything is status quo here.  The young man is here for spring break, so we've had to play it cool around here.  It's hard to even have sex when he's around as his door is right next to ours...stupid!  Why wasn't I paying more attention to that when we bought this stupid house?

With that said, I've been really trying to do things that Bossman likes.  Touching him more, massaging him more...heck, I even gave the man a bj the other night...that is UNHEARD of in this house!

He's loved every minute of it and he's been extra sweet to me as well.  I like it.  I'm still not sure how long it will last because I'm pessimistic that way, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

I've had a lot of issues with hormones, due to medication I take, and so there are so many times when I am not in the mood.  With that said, I have to understand that it doesn't mean HE's not in the mood.  I can still be sweet to him without the whole...sex thing...right?

I am a selfish woman.  I want it to be all about me!  I have to understand that it can't always be about me.  I have to understand that he has needs.  I have to learn to keep this mindset.  It's so HARD!  I really want it to be about me, me, ME! 

I realized that the past...oh, I don't know....3 years...have been all about me.  The cancer made everything about me and I got used to it.  I got comfortable in that victim mentality.  I have to step away from that and learn that it's not all about me. (blah!)

So, let's review...it's not about me.  It's not about me.  It's not about me.

Ok, it's about me. 

I just have to remember that it is about me when I do good things for HIM!

I think.....

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Thinking it through

Thank you all for your comments! Some of them were too long to comment on in the comment section. (Hi Amber!)

I have to say I've missed all your comments and insightful takes on my life problems. Heh! Oh, and PK? I was soooooo surprised to see your comment! How did I know you'd be the first to comment?

I've done some thinking.....and Bossman and I have done a lot of talking.  The thing is, our marriage has been going down a rocky path.  Oh, it's not like we've been fighting with each other, or things have been miserable, but things haven't been "happy".  We haven't been close. We've been going through the motions, but our hearts haven't been in it.

I've been blaming myself.  Bossman takes such good care of me, and I've taken that for granted. For a long time, I've noticed that Bossman hasn't been happy. I thought it was because I was holding him back. Back from the things he wants to do in life. Things that I either don't want to do with him, or things that I just can't do with him. It's hard to feel that way. It's hard to think that you are holding the person you love back.

More importantly though, I think Bossman has felt neglected.  Honestly, I haven't been holding back on purpose, but I've gotten into a pattern of just going through life, not really thinking about my husbands needs.  Sure, we've had sex, but it's always the same old thing.  No excitement. Almost like a chore.  My husband needs me.  He needs me to attend to his needs as much as I need him to attend to mine.

As I've been thinking about this, it came to my attention that maybe I need to be more submissive.  I don't really like that word, but I have to call it what it is.  I need to submit to him. I need to take care of him in all aspects of life.  I need to give him the affection he needs, I need to take care of him emotionally, not just physically. If I do that he will be happier and if he's happier, I'll be happier. Our marriage will be happier for it.

So, we've made a commitment to give this a go. We are going to try and be more attentive to each others needs. Yes, we talked about incorporating spanking, to make me happy, and about me being more open to giving him what he needs, attention from me.  Personally, I've decided to be more open about things in the bedroom. I need to be more worried about making him happy than about getting it over with.

It sounds so easy when I write it down, but I think it's going to be hard.

What do you think?  Any ideas?

Written while ignoring laundry by:

confused and bruised...

I'm still not sure how I feel about what happened the other night.  It was a lot more intense than I thought it would be and I'm not just talking about the spanking part of it.

I think I'll just write what happened and see how I feel about it after I write it. Sometimes that helps me think things through.

When I last left the tale, I said that Bossman told me he would spank me again as soon as the wildchild wasn't around.  Turns out, that was the next night as she had to work.  He asked me when she was due home and I told him, not really thinking about what he had promised.  After dinner, he proceeded to take my hand and lead me to the bedroom.  As soon as he reached for my hand, I remembered the promise.  I wasn't too thrilled with the prospect.  After the spanking the day before, I realized that my butt was still sensitive, since I have not been spanked in a couple of months.

He immediately took my pants off and pulled me over his lap.  He gave me a long hard hand spanking.  Then there was a visit with the backscratcher.  Then there was some wall time.  Then I was back over the bed for another round with his hand.  It wasn't as bad as I though, I mean, it hurt like crazy, but it wasn't to the point where I couldn't take it. 

Then he started talking.  As he talked, he didn't like the way I answered some of his questions, or the tone I was using and he started spanking again.  It was then that I realized, this was serious.  This was a serious talk and this wasn't just for fun.

His talk centered around me being more affectionate.  I'm not the most affectionate person in the world.  I am not one to touch him without a reason.  I mean, I hug, I kiss....actually, now that I think about it, I'm not that bad.  I feel that I am affectionate, but I feel like it's never enough for him.

This is really hard to write about.

I feel like I don't make him happy.  He feels that when I push him away, it's  me rejecting him.  I say, it's not rejection, it's me just not wanting to be messed with right then. 

Is that rejection?  Aren't I allowed to NOT want to be touched once in awhile?  What does a couple do that is not compatible in the affection department.  I honestly don't think I hold back.  I just am not that touchy feely.  BUT, I touch him.  I hug him, I snuggle up to him.

Just typing this up is making me upset.  I should go back to the story....

He talked and I listened, but apparently, I didn't get it.  I started crying.  I tried stating my side, he said it was the same argument and I wasn't hearing him. 

Then it was over.  Only I was upset.  AND, I realized my butt was bruised up nicely.  I wasn't upset about that.  I was worried that HE would be upset by that.  It was dark in the room, so he didn't see it.

He started walking away, but then he realize I was still upset so then we started talking again. I tried so hard not to bring up the same stuff I always do.

I tried to really understand where he was coming from.  I'm still processing it.  I realize that he just needs more affection than I.  That when we dressing and he grabs my boobs, it's just being playful.  I don't like it, but he sees it as me rejecting him.  I could grab at him all day long and he would LOVE it.  So he doesn't understand it.  He told me I was beautiful and that he, as my husband, should be able to touch me whenever he wanted.  I have to try not to be so sensitive about it......

Well, this is getting rambly and I'm not sure how to end it....

I should let you know, he's actually quite proud of the bruises.  After talking to him yesterday and showing him, I asked how he felt about them and he said it was about time, I need that more often.

Bottom line is, I DID feel a lot better after the whole episode.  I mean I felt a lot better letting go of all the emotion that was bottled up inside.  BUT, I also felt and still feel confused. 

The spanking and the talk didn't really go hand in hand.  I was getting spanked and that was good, (or bad) and then we were talking about emotional things and that was bad.  Putting them together?  I don't know....  We ended with the promise of trying to change.  I will try and be more affectionate and less quick to push away and he promised to spank more.....so that's good, right?

I know this is confusing, but I could really use some feedback....anybody have some?

Written while ignoring laundry by:

Whole lot of nothing

The spanking that was promised did happen last night.  It actually turned out quite emotional. I think I need time to process the whole thing before I write it all down. I promise, I will!

In other news...the little man is coming home for spring break today. He'll be home until the 31st, so there won't be time for spanking.  But there will be time for spoiling my boy.

I'm thinking of changing the look of my blog.  Although I love it so much and I love the picture, I think I need a change. Plus I would love to be able to use the threaded comment feature, which doesn't work on my template.  I've tried to get it to work, but it doesn't.

Did I mention my butt is a little bruised?  Yeah, it was that kind of spanking....

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Unplanned spanking

I promise this was not planned.  We didn't discuss it.  I didn't even tell Bossman I had started posting again on the blog.  I mentioned I was thinking about it....but I didn't tell him I had.

So imagine my surprise when.....

Well, lets start at the beginning.

If you've read my blog for any length of time, you know that I was sexually abused as a child.  Don't worry, I'm not going to talk about it.  BUT....because of that I have issues with Bossman touching my breasts.  It doesn't bother me when we are having sex, but at other times, it just feels wrong and sometimes gives me the heebe jeebes.

This has been an issue for our whole marriage.  It just BUGS me!

Anyway, long story short...we were snuggling in bed and because it's that time of month, it wasn't going to go any further than snuggling.  Snuggling was good, but then it just started getting annoying.  Then my son called, (to tell us he made it on the varsity softball team at school...YAY him!!) and while I was talking to him, Bossman kept touching my nips.

GAH!  So annoying!

The dilemma is, it shouldn't be annoying.  He wasn't trying to be annoying.  He was trying to be loving and sexy and, and, and....

So, after my son hung up, I just got irritated and huffy and, well, Ok, I'll say it....BRATTY!

Then we jumped in the shower.  He was still being annoying and I was getting upset.  We have a seat in the shower...We call it the bj bench...I'm sure you can guess why...and I just sat there getting upset.

Bossman decided to take matters into his own hands.  First he washed my hair and body.  THEN...then...

Well, then he started spanking me.  IN the shower!  Do you realize how much that hurts?  Wet bottom and wet hand? 

I kept telling him to stop because....OW!  He said he was sick of my attitude and felt this might help me change it.

After a few slaps and me dancing around the shower, we got out.  He immediately pulled me over his lap for some more.  I'm not gonna lie...it hurt like hell and I wasn't too happy about the situation.  I kept begging him to stop and his response was he wanted me to feel it all day.  (Mission accomplished my friend!)

After he finished, he had me stand at the wall.  I was still naked.  He got ready for work and while he was getting ready he lectured me.  He told me that I was beautiful and that he should be able to touch me without me getting huffy.  He said it was causing strife in our marriage and he didn't like that.  He wants things to get better and he doesn't want that to be between us.  He doesn't like feeling like he is doing something wrong when he's trying to be loving. 

He also said that for now, he was going to do all the talking and I was just going to listen.  He said that tomorrow, or the next time the wildchild is out of the house, he was going to spank me again.  He said THEN, I could tell him my feelings on it.  BUT for now, he just wants me to think about it so we can have a rational discussion.

Boy did I pick a great time to start blogging again!!!!

Honestly, I don't know how I feel about the whole thing.  I know how my butt feels...  but the rest of me?  I'm just not sure what to make of it.  Bossman and I have gone round and round about this before, what will make this time different?  How can I change my feelings about this?  Is it even possible?  Do I just need to be more conscience of how I react to him, so I don't hurt his feelings? 

I have a lot of thinking to do.  A lot.

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Jumping back in

I thought I'd give blogging another try.  I am warning you now, I don't have much to say regarding the whole spanking thing.  There just hasn't been much of that happening around here.  I did tell Bossman I was thinking of blogging again and I hope he would help give me some things to blog about.

There has been a lot of banter regarding spanking but no real action. Part of that stems from the fact that the wildchild moved back home.  It's hard to find a quiet moment when you have a young adult roaming the house.  Of course, I can't really use that has the full excuse as she is gone from the house a lot too. 

So what is the excuse for not spanking?  I don't really know.  We could blame it on my health, as we just have to take each day as it happens and can't plan too much ahead.  We could blame the kids.  All I know is, I miss it.

So what's been going on with you guys?  I've been lurking on your blogs so I'm not completely out of the loop. 

Aside from my health, things are going fine around here.  Bossman and I just celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary.  We had a lovely time at a local hot spring hotel.  Each room has a hot tub on the patio and the water is from the hot spring.  Because we were locals, they upgraded our room to a suite, so that was lovely.  We had a lovely time together.

The little man is coming home this Thursday for spring break.  It will be nice to have him home!  We go to see him every 2 to 3 weeks and we speak to him every night on the phone.  He is thriving at this school and it was absolutely the BEST decision we made regarding his schooling.  He LOVES it.  I miss him like crazy, but because we speak to him everyday I feel like we are still close.....and the time we have with him is extra special.  Sure, I wish sometimes think of the things we are missing but we had to make the sacrifice because I believe he is going to be such a better person for it.  Besides summer break starts at the end of May and the way this year is going, it will be here before I know it.

I really hope I can get back into blogging.  I really miss it.  I went back and read some of my first posts and my little man was only 5!  It's fun to look back at the way life was.  I want to keep documenting life....even if it is a little boring, it's my boring!

Written while ignoring laundry by::

Long weekend

It was Parents weekend at my son's school.  It was a long weekend.  On Sunday, he had a half day of school and we went to all his classes with him.  His school day is quite long.  On a normal day, he gets out of school at 5.  He has 11 periods.  You don't have to feel too bad for him because he has 2 periods off, one of which he does janitorial work in the dorm.  He gets paid for that.  Plus they are the 2 periods before lunch and he has an hour for lunch, which means he has 3 hours of free time in the middle of the day.

It was fun to see how his day went and to meet all his teachers. After going to all the classes I found a new appreciation for his school.  It is such a great environment.  Of course, all the teachers love my son.  The English teacher and dorm dean told me they thought he was a born leader and they suspect he will be president someday!  You know I liked hearing that!!!

We came home Sunday, bringing the son with us.  He is home for the entire week.  Of course wouldn't you know that he is now sick!  He's running a fever.  I'm sad that he is sick for his vacation, but I'm also glad that he is home and sick, so I can take care of him and not be worried about him up at school.

Both kids are home this week, the wild child stayed at our house while we were gone for the weekend so she could take care of the dog.  Then she decided to stay the rest of the week instead of going home for a couple of days and then coming back for Thanksgiving.  Which means I have been washing dishes non stop and I just spent a fortune on groceries! 

It's all good though, I love having them here.  They make me laugh and it's nice to have people around the house, even if they are pigs!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  I hope your day is filled with love, laughter, turkey and pumpkin pie.  And if your lucky, maybe even a spanking or two!


Written while ignoring laundry by::

Thanks!

Thank you all for your wonderful comments!  We all have a story don't we?  I feel way better knowing that I am not the only one with these problems.  I also am glad to know that you all don't think I'm mean or heartless.

I hadn't thought about the fact that I lost him when I was a child.  That is exactly right.  So I've already mourned losing him.  I'm sad that he died.  I mean, he was a human being and it's sad when someone dies, but I am not losing my father....I already lost him.

Things will be fine between my sister and I.  She has always been the drama queen in the family, so putting all her drama on facebook is what she does.  I'm used to it.  I seriously thought I would find out that he died on facebook, so at least she texted me.  I should know better than to expect an actual call from her, that is not her style.  I still think it's crap that people do so many things over texting.  Giving bad news, breaking up with someone, inviting someone to birthday party.....it seems these are all acceptable texting behaviours.  I don't like it!

So, new topic!

Most of you know, I live on the West Coast.  Most of the time, we have fine weather.  Usually, 70's.  Last week, 91.  This weekend, 58.  Sheez, Mother Nature needs to make up her mind already!  Of course, this is the first time since probably April that we've turned on the heater and guess what....it didn't work.  Now I am not going to complain...because what about the people in New Jersey that haven't had power for 2 weeks?  I feel so so bad for them because just going two days without a heater was horrible.  But I am a survivor....so you know, I toughed it out.  Actually, we bought a portable heater...LOL  Don't worry though, the heater got fixed today, but the weather is back up to 75, so all is warm in my world.

Lastly, lets talk about the empty nest.

It's so good!  Of course I miss the kids, but MAN, it's nice to know that when I buy some food it will still be in the fridge when I want to eat it!  When there is a mess that is made, I know that it was either me or Bossman.  The sink doesn't fill with dishes five minutes after you wash them.  I'm telling you, this is great!  I only have to do 3 loads of laundry a week.  A WEEK!!!!  How cool is that?

I'm sure you are wondering, what about the spanking?  I figured we'd be at it all the time.  I figured there would be a lot more sex too.  HA!  I figured wrong!

I suppose there is more sex.  I mean, we don't have to time it for early morning anymore.  We don't have to worry about someone hearing us, so that's a good thing.  The spanking?  Well the spanking isn't going that well.  We've had lots of talk about it, but then it just doesn't seem to come up that much.  There is a tad more than usual, but nothing really to write about. 

I think I should tell Bossman I'm blogging again so he can start spanking more then I will have something to write about....in my spanking blog....in which I don't talk about spanking anymore! HA!


Written while ignoring laundry by::

Death

So, I thought I'd give this blogging thing a try again.

I'm just going to jump in with both feet.

My father died this weekend.

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you might remember my father left us (my sis and I) when we were small children.  My sister contacted him when I was 22 and pregnant with the wildchild. She gave him my number, without warning me ahead of time.  Surprise, instant father!

If only it were that easy!  Instead, it was awkward and weird.  He would send weird birthday cards that said things about watching me grow up and stuff like that.  Kinda creepy.  He came to visit when the wildchild was 6 weeks old.  Again...it was awkward!

It was always easy to put him out of mind because he lived in the midwest, so I didn't ever have to see him.  Then, a couple of years ago he moved 8 hours away.  Still far enough to put out of my mind.  He continued to send cards and call once in awhile.  That was fine with me.  Couple of months ago, his wife decided to leave him.  He was very sick and on dialysis and she didn't want to take care of him. My sister decides to move him to our area.  I never went to see him.

Couple of things you should know....

My sister never asked for help.  She never consulted me, nor did she include me.  She didn't even ask if I wanted to see him.  Fine, fine and fine.  It's all fine.  I chose not to be involved.  If I wanted to be involved I could have asked.

Now he's gone.

I wondered how I would feel and it turns out, I feel ok.  I'm not upset that I didn't go see him, I don't feel any regret.  I didn't know him and he didn't know me.

My sister, on the other hand, is annoying me.  First off, she texted me the news that he died.  Seriously, when did the world become so self absorbed that we don't have the common courtesy to call people when someone dies?

Second, when she texted me, she said, and I am quoting...."my dad died last night."

HER dad died.  Regardless of everything, the man was MY dad too!

Third, I'm grateful I didn't find out over facebook, but it was posted there soon after I found out.  Like moments after I found out.  She is now posting all these morose poems about seeing his face in the stars and blah blah blah!

People, I may sound crass, but let me tell you, the man was not that great.  He left my mom with 2 children under the age of 5 to take care of with no job.  He was a alcoholic and he did time in jail.  He also has a son, somewhere out there, that we never even knew about.

Now that he's dead, he's become a saint or something.

Of course, I'm not completely hard hearted.  I realize my sister has suffered a loss.  I feel bad for her.

She did what she had to do for him.  I didn't feel the obligation seeing as how he didn't take care of us. You know...you reap what you sow....or whatever.

So, do you think I'm hard hearted? Did I have an obligation to him? I hope not, because I don't like being mean and a very small part feels like I was mean.

It's not that I didn't forgive him, it's just that to me, he was merely the sperm donor.
Is that wrong?

Written while ignoring laundry by::

LOL Day

Welcome to LOL day!  I should be welcoming myself since I've become quite the lurker these days.

Yes, I still lurk around reading all your posts.  Although its easy to lurk and not leave a comment, as a writer it is very exciting to get comments.  So if you can, leave a comment.

Of course, I should be talking to myself and taking my own advise.

I'm thinking I deserve a spanking for not being a good commenter.  Also, now that I think about it, I deserve a spanking for not blogging!

Since I haven't been writing, I will not be surprised if there are no comments.  BUT....if you are still reading and lurking...HELLO!

I do feel the itch to blog again.

Maybe I will.

Did I mention the wildchild turned 22 yesterday?  She was only 13 when I started this blog.

Just thought you should know.

Anyway, have a nice LOL day! It may mean love our lurkers, but I hope you laugh out loud today too!


Written while ignoring laundry by::

Your lazy blogger and commenter friend,
grace

Thanks Bonnie!

Bonnie,

I will never forget the day you highlighted my blog. I was giddy with excitment. I couldn't believe that someone, YOU, noticed little ole' me!

Thank you for all you do regarding the spanking community. It wouldn't be the same without you!

Written while ignoring laundry by::