My grandma died yesterday. Just typing that brings tears to my eyes. Everyone knows that death is coming, but somehow you never think it's going to happen to you. Or to someone you love. I can't believe shes gone. She was such a great lady. She was beautiful. I can only hope to be a beautiful as she was when I'm that age. She was fiesty. And onry. She was not afraid to tell it like it is. She was hard working. She was generous and strong and most of all, she was loved.
I never thought I would have to say goodbye to her. She was the type of person you just thought would be around forever. But she's gone. And somehow I have to say goodbye.
I remember when she came to visit us once, the wildchild was about 3 or 4 at the time. I took the wildchild with me to meet her at the park where they were having a dog show. The wildchild loved to wear lipstick, even when she was 3. So she was wearing bright red lipstick that my MIL had given her to play with. My grandma saw that lipstick and she very matter-of-factly, took some tissue and started wiping it off. But while she was wiping it, she was telling the wildchild that it was just a little too bright, and she was just "fixing" it. I laugh when I think about that day, for my daughter, being ever the polite little girl that she is, didn't say anything until my grandma was out of earshot, and then she said, "MOM, she wiped ALL my lipstick off!" I just chuckled and promised she could put more on when she got in the car. That was such a great day!
My grandma died in the best way possible. She had a little shoulder pain, she went to the doctor, while she was in the waiting room, waiting for a test result, she passed out, and died of a heart attack. Just like that, she was gone. She wasn't sick. She didn't have much pain. She just left, just like that. But at least she wasn't wearing dirty underpants. Because she was such a beautiful lady, she always looked great, and I'm sure she was all fixed up for seeing the doctor. The nurse told my mom she looked beautiful. She was the most beautiful 82 year old grandmother and great-grandmother around.
I loved her, and I will miss her. She was one of a kind.
I love you Grandma!
later.........
feelings
Feelings are tough for me. I have a hard time saying how I feel. Frankly I have a hard time even knowing what I feel at times. I often wonder if this is normal, or if I'm somehow emotionally deformed. So, the consequence is, Bossman never knows how I feel about stuff. I'm getting better at telling him things, but it's still really hard for me. There are these times when I just feel out of sorts, and I want to be left alone, but bless his heart, that's when he wants to comfort me. Then comes the conversation:
B: What's the matter
m: Nothing
B: Somthings wrong...what is it?
m: Nothing
I hate this conversation, yet I don't know how to get away from it. Because sometimes I really don't know what is wrong with me. I'm thinking this has to do with hormones...those stupid woman things that push all our buttons at the same time and leave us feeling....confused.
So we are still doing the spankings. It's funny but they somehow make me feel....hhmmm...I'm going to try and say how I feel here.....they make me feel....safe. yes, safe seems like the word I'm looking for.
Funny how these things go, because at night, there are times when I wish we would skip the whole thing, but on the weekends when he doesn't spank, I feel....empty.
Something must be wrong with me, how can this be? How can one feel safe after spankings and empty without? That doesn't even make sense to me, but that's how it is.
later.............
B: What's the matter
m: Nothing
B: Somthings wrong...what is it?
m: Nothing
I hate this conversation, yet I don't know how to get away from it. Because sometimes I really don't know what is wrong with me. I'm thinking this has to do with hormones...those stupid woman things that push all our buttons at the same time and leave us feeling....confused.
So we are still doing the spankings. It's funny but they somehow make me feel....hhmmm...I'm going to try and say how I feel here.....they make me feel....safe. yes, safe seems like the word I'm looking for.
Funny how these things go, because at night, there are times when I wish we would skip the whole thing, but on the weekends when he doesn't spank, I feel....empty.
Something must be wrong with me, how can this be? How can one feel safe after spankings and empty without? That doesn't even make sense to me, but that's how it is.
later.............
The good life
What exactly is the good life? Everybody seems to have their own opinion about the good life really is. My opinion is that the good life is when everyone is healthy, you bills are paid, and your cars can get you from one place to another without breaking down. I suppose having a full stomach is nice too.
Why is this world so worry about how much stuff they have? I don't need to have a big screen tv, and big SUV or fancy vacations to make me happy. All I need is some time on the beach. I really love the beach. I love the smell, I love the wind, I love feeling the sand between my toes. Watching the waves and looking out into the vastness of the ocean really puts perspective in my life. The ocean is so big that it makes my problems seem alot smaller.
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind having the SUV or the big screen, but hey, I can be happy without all that stuff.
The nightly spankings continue, and I think Bossman likes doing it. This makes me very happy. I hate feeling like he's doing something just to please me, I want it to be something we both enjoy. I'm still working on all my issues surrounding the whole spanking thing, but over all it seems to be a good thing. Hopefully this will continue...
later........
Why is this world so worry about how much stuff they have? I don't need to have a big screen tv, and big SUV or fancy vacations to make me happy. All I need is some time on the beach. I really love the beach. I love the smell, I love the wind, I love feeling the sand between my toes. Watching the waves and looking out into the vastness of the ocean really puts perspective in my life. The ocean is so big that it makes my problems seem alot smaller.
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind having the SUV or the big screen, but hey, I can be happy without all that stuff.
The nightly spankings continue, and I think Bossman likes doing it. This makes me very happy. I hate feeling like he's doing something just to please me, I want it to be something we both enjoy. I'm still working on all my issues surrounding the whole spanking thing, but over all it seems to be a good thing. Hopefully this will continue...
later........
Update
So, the little guy started 1st grade today! I'm officially home alone...and it's WEIRD! What the heck am I suppose to do with myself? I'm looking around, and all I can see is...I need to CLEAN!! My house is a wreck...so I need to clean and clean good. That isn't exactly what I had in mind while the children are in school, and since I'm typing this instead of cleaning, you can see I'm really excited at that prospect. *sigh*
Bossman is really the best husband ever. The comment that he made in a previous blog, just proves it. I read that and cried. I love you Bossman, and I'm yours forever!
The spankings continue, they are not really too bad, so my butt is surviving. Plus he's given me the weekends off. So lucky for me things are fine.
I feel I should talk about the severity of the "punishments". I don't feel like I'm actually punished, at least not right now, because we are doing it every night. But I like knowing that it's going to happen. I feel like Bossman is still very hesitate to spank too hard, because he doesn't want to hurt me. Now don't get me wrong, he spanks hard enough to get my attention, believe me, he's got my attention, but is it enough to keep me from wanting to change my behavior? That's a tough one to answer. I haven't actually felt it was enough. But I hesitate to say that, because that's like digging my own grave. I don't really want it worse, but...well...I don't know how to finish that.....
So I'll leave it like this. Things are great right now, and I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful husband that is willing to do anything to make me happy! Who can ask for more than that?
later..........
Bossman is really the best husband ever. The comment that he made in a previous blog, just proves it. I read that and cried. I love you Bossman, and I'm yours forever!
The spankings continue, they are not really too bad, so my butt is surviving. Plus he's given me the weekends off. So lucky for me things are fine.
I feel I should talk about the severity of the "punishments". I don't feel like I'm actually punished, at least not right now, because we are doing it every night. But I like knowing that it's going to happen. I feel like Bossman is still very hesitate to spank too hard, because he doesn't want to hurt me. Now don't get me wrong, he spanks hard enough to get my attention, believe me, he's got my attention, but is it enough to keep me from wanting to change my behavior? That's a tough one to answer. I haven't actually felt it was enough. But I hesitate to say that, because that's like digging my own grave. I don't really want it worse, but...well...I don't know how to finish that.....
So I'll leave it like this. Things are great right now, and I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful husband that is willing to do anything to make me happy! Who can ask for more than that?
later..........
Saying No
I hate saying no to someone. It's just not in my nature. I like helping people, I hate for people to be mad at me, and so I think if I say no, they will be mad. So I hate saying no.
That being said, my MIL asked us if they could move in with us. This may seem like an innocent request, but my IL's are not normal people. Also, the house is not big enough. So, we had to say no. But I can't help but feel bad that we had to say no. I know if we let them, I'd probably kill myself, or someone else, so I know it was the right decision, but I still can't let go of the guilt.
I grew up with very little family around us. I didn't have aunts or uncles or cousins, and my grandparents only came to visit once a year. So I think it's cool to have alot of family. My husband's family is a little bigger, but they are NOT normal. The put the "fun" in dysfuncional. I used to be very close with my MIL. But she has gotten really bad in her old age...about everything. She's sick all the time, she's hateful, and she's just not a nice person. Being around her gives me a stomach ache. So living with us is not an option for her. ( What the heck was she thinking?)
I don't even know where to go with the rest of this, so I'll stop for now.
later...
That being said, my MIL asked us if they could move in with us. This may seem like an innocent request, but my IL's are not normal people. Also, the house is not big enough. So, we had to say no. But I can't help but feel bad that we had to say no. I know if we let them, I'd probably kill myself, or someone else, so I know it was the right decision, but I still can't let go of the guilt.
I grew up with very little family around us. I didn't have aunts or uncles or cousins, and my grandparents only came to visit once a year. So I think it's cool to have alot of family. My husband's family is a little bigger, but they are NOT normal. The put the "fun" in dysfuncional. I used to be very close with my MIL. But she has gotten really bad in her old age...about everything. She's sick all the time, she's hateful, and she's just not a nice person. Being around her gives me a stomach ache. So living with us is not an option for her. ( What the heck was she thinking?)
I don't even know where to go with the rest of this, so I'll stop for now.
later...
Back to school
Since when did I have a child old enough for high school? I'm feeling very old and flustered that my child is actually about to start high school. I can remember starting high school, and it seems like yesterday. Wow, only 4 years until she graduates. (well I hope!) How is this possible? Time seems to be passing me by and a great rate of speed.
Ok, Bossman seems to be taking this whole d/d a step further. This is fine with me, but it's HARD. I want to be submissive. I feel submissive. But actually being submissive....that is hard. I haven't really wrote much about this subject, but I feel the time has come to express my feelings on this.
I really want Bossman to be the head of the house. That doesn't mean I want him bossing me around, and lucky for me, he isn't that way. But I would like to be held accountable for the things I do, or don't do. Does that make me weird? How weird is it to want to be held accountable for things? Is there such thing as a d/d relationship where the couples are still a team, but yet the husband is the head? Maybe that's just to opposite to make any sense.
I've read some interesting blogs about people that are in d/d relationships and they really seem to work. Which is what I wish we could be like. But then I read a blog and this couple tried d/d and at first they seemed really happy with it, but then it fell apart, and now they are much happier without it.
Is is just that I want to be spanked, or that I want the whole package? Maybe I don't really want the d/d, I just want the spanking part of it. But in order for me to justify the spanking, there has to be some sort of reason. Otherwise I feel too weird. Am I suppose to like spanking? There seems to be alot of people that like it...but I feel like it's wrong, so I have to make it right...right? Oh I don't know, if I can't explain it to myself, how can I explain it to Bossman?
So, Bossman has made it known that he's going to spank me everynight before bed. Believe it or not I look forward to this. Secretly, it turns me on just thinking about it all day. In reality, I feel ashamed that I like it. When the times comes I feel just like a kid. Again, I kinda like that. The spanking itself isn't really what turns me on. It's the whole package. I like my husband being dominate. That, in itself, really turns me on. Even though I've been reading about this stuff for years, I still can't explain it. I guess I'll just enjoy it, and stop trying to analyze it.
later......
Ok, Bossman seems to be taking this whole d/d a step further. This is fine with me, but it's HARD. I want to be submissive. I feel submissive. But actually being submissive....that is hard. I haven't really wrote much about this subject, but I feel the time has come to express my feelings on this.
I really want Bossman to be the head of the house. That doesn't mean I want him bossing me around, and lucky for me, he isn't that way. But I would like to be held accountable for the things I do, or don't do. Does that make me weird? How weird is it to want to be held accountable for things? Is there such thing as a d/d relationship where the couples are still a team, but yet the husband is the head? Maybe that's just to opposite to make any sense.
I've read some interesting blogs about people that are in d/d relationships and they really seem to work. Which is what I wish we could be like. But then I read a blog and this couple tried d/d and at first they seemed really happy with it, but then it fell apart, and now they are much happier without it.
Is is just that I want to be spanked, or that I want the whole package? Maybe I don't really want the d/d, I just want the spanking part of it. But in order for me to justify the spanking, there has to be some sort of reason. Otherwise I feel too weird. Am I suppose to like spanking? There seems to be alot of people that like it...but I feel like it's wrong, so I have to make it right...right? Oh I don't know, if I can't explain it to myself, how can I explain it to Bossman?
So, Bossman has made it known that he's going to spank me everynight before bed. Believe it or not I look forward to this. Secretly, it turns me on just thinking about it all day. In reality, I feel ashamed that I like it. When the times comes I feel just like a kid. Again, I kinda like that. The spanking itself isn't really what turns me on. It's the whole package. I like my husband being dominate. That, in itself, really turns me on. Even though I've been reading about this stuff for years, I still can't explain it. I guess I'll just enjoy it, and stop trying to analyze it.
later......
10 things I'd like to change about my life
1. I would lose 25lbs. (ok, I could probably do that, but it's just sooooo hard!)
2. I would try to be more patient with my kids. (especially my wildchild)
3. I would go back to school. Make something out of my life.
4. I would keep my house cleaner.
5. I would organize my life better
6. I would hug my bossman more
7. I wouldn't be so afraid to try new things.
8. I would laugh more
9. I wouldn't sweat the small stuff
10. I'd be more outgoing
Well, after working on the list for awhile, and re-reading it a bunch of times, it seems to be I could probably change most of these, if not all of these, things in my life. I guess I need to get busy.
later...........
2. I would try to be more patient with my kids. (especially my wildchild)
3. I would go back to school. Make something out of my life.
4. I would keep my house cleaner.
5. I would organize my life better
6. I would hug my bossman more
7. I wouldn't be so afraid to try new things.
8. I would laugh more
9. I wouldn't sweat the small stuff
10. I'd be more outgoing
Well, after working on the list for awhile, and re-reading it a bunch of times, it seems to be I could probably change most of these, if not all of these, things in my life. I guess I need to get busy.
later...........
Summer time blues
Ahhh, the joy of summer. The joy of having the kids home from school. (not) I just wish it was time for school to start again because I'm sick of having to entertain the little darlings.
The wildchild is starting highschool. This is scary. Last year was a mess. Lets just say, she is not really the "studious" type. Although I'm anxious for school to start again, I am not ready to worry about her and her grades.
I'm finding it hard to believe that I am old enough to have a highschooler. I am not old. But I can remember being my daughters age and thinking my mom was old. Arrggghh. What happened to me? I wasn't suppose to grow old.
Ok, so I've covered the kids, and now I'm up to the Bossman. We are so into this up and down stuff and getting rather tired of it. Why can't we just stay up for awhile? Up is nice, up is fun, up is happy! We have these cycles where we can be perfectly happy and in love, and everything is roses but then the next day we can be totally annoyed and not-so-happy with each other.
I wonder if I'm the only one that gets sick of being touched all the time? Does this make me a bad person? Because I feel bad that I'm not so lovey dovey. I feel like something is wrong with me. There are times when I'm changing my clothes that if Bossman is heading my direction I feel like hiding. And really what is so wrong with him coping a feel? There should be nothing wrong with that in the world. I should be happy that after 15 years of marriage my husband still wants to touch me. Others in the world should be so lucky. So why do I not feel so lucky? And I consider myself a sexual person. Maybe I'm just wishing I was a sexual person. Maybe I'm just fooling myself into thinking I'm sexual, but really I'm not.
Sometimes I wonder if the way I perceive myself is not really the way I am. Maybe I just perceive myself the way I wish I was. Maybe I'm not sexual at all. I just wish I was. So I think I am. I think I'm a nice person, maybe I'm not.
There are certain things I want in my life. I'd like my husband to be more aggressive with me. I want him to be in control so I don't have to be. I don't like making decisions, I'd rather he made the decisions. I like the thought of being submissive. But am I really submissive? I ask myself this stuff everyday, and yet I can't figure it out.
I love being spanked. Ok, I take that back, I love the thought of being spanked. Actually being spanked....hhhmmm...I would say that sometimes I really like it, and sometimes I don't. I am so turned on by the thought of discipline and spanking, but reality is so much different than fantasy. This whole thing confuses me, and therefore I think it confuses Bossman.
I've been thinking alot about the past. The first time I met Bossman, the first time he kissed me. When we got married we were just kids. We didn't know what we were going to do with our lives, we were just happy to be living. Now things are so much more complicated. Kids, jobs, cars, money. We didn't really worry about all that back then, I mean who does? And although I would love to go back to that, I would only go back if I could take the knowledge I have with me. Because even though we have alot more stress and worry in our life, we are so much more in love now. We know so much more about each other. We've figured out that we can tell each other stuff, and it's ok. Although we've been married 15 years, with 3 years of dating before that, I believe that we have just come across all this wisedom about ourselves in the last 3 years. So it took 15 years to get to this point in our lives. It's no wonder that so many marriages fail. Maybe some people just can't wait that long. I just so grateful that we made it this far. I'm so looking forward to the future. I love my kids, but I'm really looking forward to the day when Bossman and I can be alone. Alone........what is that like?
later.......
Stupid is as stupid does
Stupid stupid stupid, how stupid is the world? I'm so sick of all the stupid people in the world. And furthermore....how do you live in a country where you don't speak the language, and not even no simple words?
Sample conversation, I have this one at least once a day.
Me: Are you turning in film to be developed?
them: Yea
Me: Would you like one-hour or regular service?
them: yes (while nodding head)
Me: Ok...umm, one-hour?
them: yes (still nodding)
Me: Ok, can I have your last name?
them: yes (still nodding)
Me: last name?
them: yes (while STILL NODDING THEIR HEAD!)
~sigh~ LEARN my language PLEASE!
Can I just say, nombre and name, sound a lot alike...so why do they not understand? telephono and telephone number, also sound a lot alike. WHAT is the problem? Is is me, or is it everyone else?
Ok, that's the end of my rant! I'm just so tired of stupid people!
Now back to your regular broadcasting......
later
Sample conversation, I have this one at least once a day.
Me: Are you turning in film to be developed?
them: Yea
Me: Would you like one-hour or regular service?
them: yes (while nodding head)
Me: Ok...umm, one-hour?
them: yes (still nodding)
Me: Ok, can I have your last name?
them: yes (still nodding)
Me: last name?
them: yes (while STILL NODDING THEIR HEAD!)
~sigh~ LEARN my language PLEASE!
Can I just say, nombre and name, sound a lot alike...so why do they not understand? telephono and telephone number, also sound a lot alike. WHAT is the problem? Is is me, or is it everyone else?
Ok, that's the end of my rant! I'm just so tired of stupid people!
Now back to your regular broadcasting......
later
Antsy
I'm feeling antsy. I have no other way to describe it, it's just antsy.
I was listening to the radio the other night on my way home from work and the song was about the south. It reminded me of some of the places I lived as a girl. Georgia and Kentucky to be specific. Anyway, I'm so itchy to go somewhere new, somewhere different, someplace other than here.
Although I'm happy with Bossman and the kids, I can't help but feel discontented. Am I discontented with my job? Or am I just getting cabin fever, doing the same things everyday, without changing? Maybe I'm just in a rut. I still wish I could move somewhere far away, but I think that's just me wanting to run away from life and it's problems. I think I need to make some changes, and quick.
Could this be why I'm suddenly in the mood to redecorate everything I see? I have this urge to by all new things, and move everything around. Problem is, this house is so small, things can really only be placed one way, and that's it. So my room has to be one way, and I can't do anything else with it. So instead I'm buying all new linens. That will be a change...right? right? ~sigh~ Will I ever be happy?
later........
I was listening to the radio the other night on my way home from work and the song was about the south. It reminded me of some of the places I lived as a girl. Georgia and Kentucky to be specific. Anyway, I'm so itchy to go somewhere new, somewhere different, someplace other than here.
Although I'm happy with Bossman and the kids, I can't help but feel discontented. Am I discontented with my job? Or am I just getting cabin fever, doing the same things everyday, without changing? Maybe I'm just in a rut. I still wish I could move somewhere far away, but I think that's just me wanting to run away from life and it's problems. I think I need to make some changes, and quick.
Could this be why I'm suddenly in the mood to redecorate everything I see? I have this urge to by all new things, and move everything around. Problem is, this house is so small, things can really only be placed one way, and that's it. So my room has to be one way, and I can't do anything else with it. So instead I'm buying all new linens. That will be a change...right? right? ~sigh~ Will I ever be happy?
later........
Convenience or commitment?
Deep down I realize, I'm loved. But somehow I feel I don't deserve it. Why does this happen? How does one accept that they are loved and deserve to be loved?
Bossman is so incredible to me. We had a wonderful heart to heart the other night, and I keep running all the things he said through my mind, trying to process what he said, and how it all makes me feel.
See, I have this theory that I was just a convenience for him and that he could do so much better than I, if I just wasn't in the way. Well, Bossman doesn't see it that way. (thank god)
Isn't it funny I could say all that, but not think I have low self esteem? But really, I like myself ok, and I think I'm a great person, I just feel like I'm holding him back.
I really need to work on that.
later.........
Bossman is so incredible to me. We had a wonderful heart to heart the other night, and I keep running all the things he said through my mind, trying to process what he said, and how it all makes me feel.
See, I have this theory that I was just a convenience for him and that he could do so much better than I, if I just wasn't in the way. Well, Bossman doesn't see it that way. (thank god)
Isn't it funny I could say all that, but not think I have low self esteem? But really, I like myself ok, and I think I'm a great person, I just feel like I'm holding him back.
I really need to work on that.
later.........
future
Today was a good day. It's one of those days when you could clearly see the future, and you realize, things will be ok.
When life has you down, you can't help but see all the negatives. It's hard to think about the future because your so self consumed with the here and now. So today was one of the days when even though things are still in turmoil, you can clearly see the future, and you realize, wow, things will get better.
The wildchild has taken a trip to Disneyland. She earned enough money to take a 3 day trip to Disney. Her best friend went with her. Talked to her today and she seems like she's having a good time.
Life keeps humming along!
later........
When life has you down, you can't help but see all the negatives. It's hard to think about the future because your so self consumed with the here and now. So today was one of the days when even though things are still in turmoil, you can clearly see the future, and you realize, wow, things will get better.
The wildchild has taken a trip to Disneyland. She earned enough money to take a 3 day trip to Disney. Her best friend went with her. Talked to her today and she seems like she's having a good time.
Life keeps humming along!
later........
Belonging
I've often felt like I don't really belong. When I say belong, I mean in my own family, sometimes even in my own body. I know that I belong to Bossman, for he has told me plenty of times, but I can't understand how he could want me. I feel like there is someone better out there for him and I'm holding him back from finding the real person that he belongs with. That seems so silly to think that, for I know he truly loves me, but I guess I don't feel good enough for him. Sometimes I don't feel good enough for even myself.
Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for something else, but I don't know what that is that I'm waiting for. I've often wondered....is this all there is? Is this really all there is in life? Just work, just kids, just this? You know when your waiting for christmas morning, so you can open all your presents....that's the way I feel sometimes, like I'm waiting for something to happen. Of course I'm usually not waiting for something good. I'm usually anticipating that something bad will happen. So I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Is this really all there is to life? Shouldn't there be a purpose to this life? I need to find the purpose. I really need to find that purpose.
later........
Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for something else, but I don't know what that is that I'm waiting for. I've often wondered....is this all there is? Is this really all there is in life? Just work, just kids, just this? You know when your waiting for christmas morning, so you can open all your presents....that's the way I feel sometimes, like I'm waiting for something to happen. Of course I'm usually not waiting for something good. I'm usually anticipating that something bad will happen. So I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Is this really all there is to life? Shouldn't there be a purpose to this life? I need to find the purpose. I really need to find that purpose.
later........
The fat, the tired and the pmsing.......
I feel so fat today. I hate being on my period and pmsing...and worst of all, I hate being so tired! Does this mean I'm getting old? I think I'm not going to answer that question.
Tomorrow is the last day of school. Thank goodness. I'm ready for a break from the homework headaches and worrying about the wildchilds grades. I'm ready to sleep in and just have some fun.
I've decided that the wildchild did not earn the graduation ceremony, so therefore I didn't really fight for her. At this point she's just lucky she's going to high school. I'm still worried about next year, but I had 3 different counselors tell me it wasn't a good idea to hold her back. So I'm taking my chances. I just hope she gets a clue!
Life is interesting...it just keeps getting better and better...lol
later.......
Tomorrow is the last day of school. Thank goodness. I'm ready for a break from the homework headaches and worrying about the wildchilds grades. I'm ready to sleep in and just have some fun.
I've decided that the wildchild did not earn the graduation ceremony, so therefore I didn't really fight for her. At this point she's just lucky she's going to high school. I'm still worried about next year, but I had 3 different counselors tell me it wasn't a good idea to hold her back. So I'm taking my chances. I just hope she gets a clue!
Life is interesting...it just keeps getting better and better...lol
later.......
The good, the bad and the ugly
Ok, the good news is the wildchild is going to 9th grade. The bad is that she can't graduate with her class. The ugly...there isn't even any summer school to help us out with this.
~sigh~ What's a mother to do? How does a school decide...hey you've achieved enough to pass, but sorry you can't celebrate with the rest of the class. If you ask me, this is a stupid rule. Either pass the child, let them participate, or fail the child, and hold them back a year. Why must there be this gray area of passing but not celebrating? This is one of the stupidest rules I've ever come across.
I'm not sure what to do next. Do I put up a fight? If I do, does that show I'm a supportive mother, or that I feel my daughter should be the exception to the rules? Does my daughter deserve to have the rules bent for her, even if it is the lamest rule I've ever come across? These are the things that I ask myself and worry about.
And since I'm on the subject, what the heck am I going to do next year? How am I going to cope with a high schooler that doesn't want to accomplish anything? Talk to the counselors and they say stupid things like...make a chart, draw up a contract, ect.. Do these things actually work for ANYBODY? I haven't found anyone yet that says this crap works.
Is it so bad that I just want my daughter to succeed in life? I just want her to be able to support herself in life and to be a decent adult. Is that really so much to ask? I'm not asking for a brain surgeon..although that would be nice.
I knew going in that this wasn't going to be easy, but I'm going to continue to push, because it's my job, and if I don't help her now, what will happen to her as an adult? She will succeed, even if it kills me!
later............
~sigh~ What's a mother to do? How does a school decide...hey you've achieved enough to pass, but sorry you can't celebrate with the rest of the class. If you ask me, this is a stupid rule. Either pass the child, let them participate, or fail the child, and hold them back a year. Why must there be this gray area of passing but not celebrating? This is one of the stupidest rules I've ever come across.
I'm not sure what to do next. Do I put up a fight? If I do, does that show I'm a supportive mother, or that I feel my daughter should be the exception to the rules? Does my daughter deserve to have the rules bent for her, even if it is the lamest rule I've ever come across? These are the things that I ask myself and worry about.
And since I'm on the subject, what the heck am I going to do next year? How am I going to cope with a high schooler that doesn't want to accomplish anything? Talk to the counselors and they say stupid things like...make a chart, draw up a contract, ect.. Do these things actually work for ANYBODY? I haven't found anyone yet that says this crap works.
Is it so bad that I just want my daughter to succeed in life? I just want her to be able to support herself in life and to be a decent adult. Is that really so much to ask? I'm not asking for a brain surgeon..although that would be nice.
I knew going in that this wasn't going to be easy, but I'm going to continue to push, because it's my job, and if I don't help her now, what will happen to her as an adult? She will succeed, even if it kills me!
later............
work, work, work
I have to run to work, so this will be a short post.
The car broke down again..... I told you cars were disposable. But how lucky are we? A friend just bought a new car and said we could have his old one. Can you believe THAT? It's just too good to be true.
Update on wildchild. She is going to high school. She may not get to participate in the gradutation ceremony for 8th grade, but she is going on. We have really debated this issue...and I'll go into it more in the next post......
Now I really have to go to work.
later............
The car broke down again..... I told you cars were disposable. But how lucky are we? A friend just bought a new car and said we could have his old one. Can you believe THAT? It's just too good to be true.
Update on wildchild. She is going to high school. She may not get to participate in the gradutation ceremony for 8th grade, but she is going on. We have really debated this issue...and I'll go into it more in the next post......
Now I really have to go to work.
later............
Normal?
Well, the birthday week is officially over! So life can get back to normal, whatever normal is.
Well, I got word yesterday that the wildchild will be going on to 9th grade. She won't get to participate in the graduation ceremony, but she will move on to the next grade.
Does this make sense? No, why would you pass a child on to the next grade but not let them participate in the ceremony? I have no idea what the purpose of that is.
Now, my dilemma. What do I do now? I don't really think she's ready for high school. But the school said that she was to mature to hold back. Too mature? In whose book? Not mine. I think she is immature and I think she's going to suffer in high school. I'm trying to decide the best route to take, I have 2 weeks to decide. So I guess I'm going to talk with her school further, and then I think I'll talk to the high school counselor, and then I'll compare what they say and go from there.
Why are people allowed to have kids? Nobody told me it was going to be this hard. There was no test I had to take to see if I was ready to be a parent. They don't come with instructions. They just pop (ok, it was not just a pop...but for conversations sake....)out and expect you to know everything. It's not fair. I'm not the type that enjoys dealing with all this stuff, and frankly, I'd rather have my teeth pulled that deal with all this stuff, but is that an option? Not really, unless I want to have no teeth when dealing with all this stuff...LOL
Well, I'm sure I figure something out. Bossman is sort of just going along with everything I say, so he must think my ideas are good. He'd tell me if they weren't. (I hope) Life is never dull around here.
later........
Well, I got word yesterday that the wildchild will be going on to 9th grade. She won't get to participate in the graduation ceremony, but she will move on to the next grade.
Does this make sense? No, why would you pass a child on to the next grade but not let them participate in the ceremony? I have no idea what the purpose of that is.
Now, my dilemma. What do I do now? I don't really think she's ready for high school. But the school said that she was to mature to hold back. Too mature? In whose book? Not mine. I think she is immature and I think she's going to suffer in high school. I'm trying to decide the best route to take, I have 2 weeks to decide. So I guess I'm going to talk with her school further, and then I think I'll talk to the high school counselor, and then I'll compare what they say and go from there.
Why are people allowed to have kids? Nobody told me it was going to be this hard. There was no test I had to take to see if I was ready to be a parent. They don't come with instructions. They just pop (ok, it was not just a pop...but for conversations sake....)out and expect you to know everything. It's not fair. I'm not the type that enjoys dealing with all this stuff, and frankly, I'd rather have my teeth pulled that deal with all this stuff, but is that an option? Not really, unless I want to have no teeth when dealing with all this stuff...LOL
Well, I'm sure I figure something out. Bossman is sort of just going along with everything I say, so he must think my ideas are good. He'd tell me if they weren't. (I hope) Life is never dull around here.
later........
100 things about Me
1. I'm a Taurus
2. I don't believe in astrology
3. I'm good friends with God
4. I go to church on Saturday
5. I have 2 wonderful children
6. They are a girl and boy
7. The only man I've ever slept with is Bossman
8. I don't think I missed anything
9. I get annoyed with stupid people easily
10. I can't hold a grudge against someone
11. I'm extremely forgiving
12. I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt
13 I'm tall and used to wish I was short
14 I like being tall now
15 I never used drugs...ever
16 I've never smoked
17 I don't like the taste of alcohol
18 I played the cymbals in the marching band in high school
19 I love to sing for church
20 Survivor is my favorite TV show
21 I cry at weddings
22 My favorite dessert is cheesecake
23 Bossman makes me laugh
24 I don't like sucking cock
25 I will suck Bossman if it's clean and shaved
26 I like being spanked
27 I love reading
28 My favorite books are the Outlander series
29 Clan of the cave bear is my second favorite book series
30 My favorite movie is "Officer and a Gentleman"
31 I love musicals
32 Grease is my favorite musical movie
33 I think Richard Gere is hot
34 Bossman is my first and only love
35 I was a cheerleader in 4th grade
36 My parents made me play basketball because I was tall...I sucked
37 My father left when I was 5
38 I didn't meet him again until I was 22
39 I still don't like him
40 My first car was a yellow Ford Fiesta
41 My first brand new car was a blue Chevy Sprint
42 I went to 8 different schools by the time I was in high school
43 I've lived in 5 states and Germany
44 Bossman and I have lived in 9 different homes
45 Bossman and I have been married 15 years
46 I love him more than when we got married
47 I do not like people standing in front of the stores selling something or trying to make you sign something
48 I can't stand watching people talk with their mouths full
50 I went to 3 different proms
51 2 of them were with Bossman
52 I wore the same dress to 2 of them
53 I still have one of my prom dresses
54 The wildchild thinks its ugly
55 I saved my wedding dress for my daughter
56 I collect dolls
57 I also collect heart shaped jewelry boxes
58 I've never met another person with my name
59 My mother was a hippy
60 I'm hooked on reality TV, Survivor is the best show ever.
61 I hated the "swan"
62 I love country music
63 Garth Brooks and Tim McGraw are my favorites
64 Bossman and I do not have the same taste in music
65 my favorite color is blue
66 I met a friend on yahoo chat 7 years ago, and we've never met
67 I hope to meet her someday
68 I used to have a cat named Mr. Bill
69 I love the beach
70 It's the only place I can put things in perspective
71 Bossman is my best friend
72 I hate housework
73 I hate cooking
74 I love eating
75 I need to lose 20lbs
76 The weight on my drivers license is wrong
77 That weight is now my goal
78 I hate spending money
79 I love window shopping
80 Having my kids was the best thing I ever did in my life
81 Marrying Bossman was the best decision I ever made
82 I enjoy good gossip
83 I once met Richard Simmons
84 Yes, he's like that everywhere he goes
85 I haven't been to the movies this whole year
86 I hate it when people don't like me, even if I don't know them
87 My recliner makes me very happy
88 Fat people in spandex make me sick
89 I hate feet. I think feet are gross, and I can't stand anyone even touching my feet. YUCK!
90 I am a SIM freak....I love the Sims and could play the SIM game for hours without stopping.
91 I hate my double chin.
92 I wanted to be a teacher when I got older
93 I am now old and I don't think I'll be a teacher
94 I was a girl scout and a brownie
95 I consider myself to be a good girl
96 I like kinky sex
97 I have very ugly toes
98 Ebay is my favorite place to shop
99 I don't think I can think of anything else to say about myself
100 My kids are my life (did I say that?)
Whew, I didn't think I could think of 100 things about myself. That was hard.
later.....
2. I don't believe in astrology
3. I'm good friends with God
4. I go to church on Saturday
5. I have 2 wonderful children
6. They are a girl and boy
7. The only man I've ever slept with is Bossman
8. I don't think I missed anything
9. I get annoyed with stupid people easily
10. I can't hold a grudge against someone
11. I'm extremely forgiving
12. I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt
13 I'm tall and used to wish I was short
14 I like being tall now
15 I never used drugs...ever
16 I've never smoked
17 I don't like the taste of alcohol
18 I played the cymbals in the marching band in high school
19 I love to sing for church
20 Survivor is my favorite TV show
21 I cry at weddings
22 My favorite dessert is cheesecake
23 Bossman makes me laugh
24 I don't like sucking cock
25 I will suck Bossman if it's clean and shaved
26 I like being spanked
27 I love reading
28 My favorite books are the Outlander series
29 Clan of the cave bear is my second favorite book series
30 My favorite movie is "Officer and a Gentleman"
31 I love musicals
32 Grease is my favorite musical movie
33 I think Richard Gere is hot
34 Bossman is my first and only love
35 I was a cheerleader in 4th grade
36 My parents made me play basketball because I was tall...I sucked
37 My father left when I was 5
38 I didn't meet him again until I was 22
39 I still don't like him
40 My first car was a yellow Ford Fiesta
41 My first brand new car was a blue Chevy Sprint
42 I went to 8 different schools by the time I was in high school
43 I've lived in 5 states and Germany
44 Bossman and I have lived in 9 different homes
45 Bossman and I have been married 15 years
46 I love him more than when we got married
47 I do not like people standing in front of the stores selling something or trying to make you sign something
48 I can't stand watching people talk with their mouths full
50 I went to 3 different proms
51 2 of them were with Bossman
52 I wore the same dress to 2 of them
53 I still have one of my prom dresses
54 The wildchild thinks its ugly
55 I saved my wedding dress for my daughter
56 I collect dolls
57 I also collect heart shaped jewelry boxes
58 I've never met another person with my name
59 My mother was a hippy
60 I'm hooked on reality TV, Survivor is the best show ever.
61 I hated the "swan"
62 I love country music
63 Garth Brooks and Tim McGraw are my favorites
64 Bossman and I do not have the same taste in music
65 my favorite color is blue
66 I met a friend on yahoo chat 7 years ago, and we've never met
67 I hope to meet her someday
68 I used to have a cat named Mr. Bill
69 I love the beach
70 It's the only place I can put things in perspective
71 Bossman is my best friend
72 I hate housework
73 I hate cooking
74 I love eating
75 I need to lose 20lbs
76 The weight on my drivers license is wrong
77 That weight is now my goal
78 I hate spending money
79 I love window shopping
80 Having my kids was the best thing I ever did in my life
81 Marrying Bossman was the best decision I ever made
82 I enjoy good gossip
83 I once met Richard Simmons
84 Yes, he's like that everywhere he goes
85 I haven't been to the movies this whole year
86 I hate it when people don't like me, even if I don't know them
87 My recliner makes me very happy
88 Fat people in spandex make me sick
89 I hate feet. I think feet are gross, and I can't stand anyone even touching my feet. YUCK!
90 I am a SIM freak....I love the Sims and could play the SIM game for hours without stopping.
91 I hate my double chin.
92 I wanted to be a teacher when I got older
93 I am now old and I don't think I'll be a teacher
94 I was a girl scout and a brownie
95 I consider myself to be a good girl
96 I like kinky sex
97 I have very ugly toes
98 Ebay is my favorite place to shop
99 I don't think I can think of anything else to say about myself
100 My kids are my life (did I say that?)
Whew, I didn't think I could think of 100 things about myself. That was hard.
later.....
Birthday weekend
My children birthdays are never just one day. It usually lasts at least a week.
First there is the family party. This entails having the whole gang here at once. Is this fun? Not really, but we do it for the kids.
Second is the party at school. This requires mom to bring some sort of goodie to the class. Most of the time, I make something. This year I'm going with store bought all the way.
Third, the party with the friends. Since I've taken my son to waaaayyyy too many birthday parties this month, we've decided NOT to have a friend party this year. This has caused me tremendous guilt, but I am also pretty relieved. Instead we are talking the little guy to the miniature golf place. This may sound like fun, but only if you like lots of noise. All those video games in one room....it should really be outlawed. (Ok, now I'm just showing my age...cuz that is something my mom would have said.)
Anyway, this is the birthday weekend...Who said he could grow up anyway?
later.......
First there is the family party. This entails having the whole gang here at once. Is this fun? Not really, but we do it for the kids.
Second is the party at school. This requires mom to bring some sort of goodie to the class. Most of the time, I make something. This year I'm going with store bought all the way.
Third, the party with the friends. Since I've taken my son to waaaayyyy too many birthday parties this month, we've decided NOT to have a friend party this year. This has caused me tremendous guilt, but I am also pretty relieved. Instead we are talking the little guy to the miniature golf place. This may sound like fun, but only if you like lots of noise. All those video games in one room....it should really be outlawed. (Ok, now I'm just showing my age...cuz that is something my mom would have said.)
Anyway, this is the birthday weekend...Who said he could grow up anyway?
later.......
Stupid people suck
I'm so sick of stupid people! The world is reeking of stupid people that have crap for brains. Working with the public makes this fact more clear every single day.
Customer: How much does it cost to develop this roll of film?
Me: The prices are here (points) here and here........
Customer: But how much is it for doubles?
Me: The prices are here (again points to the same spot) here and here......
Customer: How long will it take to develop it if I put it in the one-hour developing?
Me: ONE HOUR....hence the name "One hour photo"...
customer: How long if I put it in the 2 day service?
Me: TWO FREAKING DAYS...you moron!
Customer: Can you wipe my butt after I go to the bathroom?
Me: I'd be happy to, and thanks for shopping at wal-mart!
Anyway, as you can clearly see....the IQ of the people I deal with is about the same as my shoe size. Unfortunately, this conversation is one I hold at least 5 times a day. I've perfected the fake smile and I've managed to keep myself from choking the customers to death on the spot.
I believe this is such a direct result of the cutbacks in school funding. If we are going to continue cutting the schools then we are going to continue to produce stupid people. It's not really a hard concept to grasp, but apparently the government is having a hard time grasping this notion. With our country as rich and thriving as it is...why is it only the rich people can go to college? Why is it so hard for the poor people to get ahead in the world? If it were up to me, I would make colleges just like public schools....free. Maybe we would reduce the welfare people and maybe...just maybe I would get people in wal-mart that can read the signs. ~sigh~ That will be the day!
later......
Customer: How much does it cost to develop this roll of film?
Me: The prices are here (points) here and here........
Customer: But how much is it for doubles?
Me: The prices are here (again points to the same spot) here and here......
Customer: How long will it take to develop it if I put it in the one-hour developing?
Me: ONE HOUR....hence the name "One hour photo"...
customer: How long if I put it in the 2 day service?
Me: TWO FREAKING DAYS...you moron!
Customer: Can you wipe my butt after I go to the bathroom?
Me: I'd be happy to, and thanks for shopping at wal-mart!
Anyway, as you can clearly see....the IQ of the people I deal with is about the same as my shoe size. Unfortunately, this conversation is one I hold at least 5 times a day. I've perfected the fake smile and I've managed to keep myself from choking the customers to death on the spot.
I believe this is such a direct result of the cutbacks in school funding. If we are going to continue cutting the schools then we are going to continue to produce stupid people. It's not really a hard concept to grasp, but apparently the government is having a hard time grasping this notion. With our country as rich and thriving as it is...why is it only the rich people can go to college? Why is it so hard for the poor people to get ahead in the world? If it were up to me, I would make colleges just like public schools....free. Maybe we would reduce the welfare people and maybe...just maybe I would get people in wal-mart that can read the signs. ~sigh~ That will be the day!
later......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)