It's raining cats and dogs

The rain has started here in my area. They've been saying it would rain for the last 2 weeks. I've been thinking that the weather people were just smoking crack or something, but today they were correct!

Of course when it rains, it pours! And I'm not talking about the weather anymore!

First I'd like to thank you all for your encouragement and helpful suggestions. You are all, as usual, correct! I need to get connected with Bossman, and I need to make a big fuss with the school.

Ok, I don't need to make a big fuss with the school. They called this morning and said she's IN!!!!!!!! I guess those names and that picture did the trick!

Actually, I didn't have to use the names or the picture, although I was sorely tempted. I did have a discussion with the principal and told him I didn't want my child left behind. I wanted to make sure that just because my child isn't a HUGE problem didn't mean that she didn't need some help. He seemed very nice and said he would put her name in, but it might be a couple of weeks before they could get her in. He also gave me some helpful suggestions for the rest of this year and next. But I guess my little talk must have left me stuck in his brain, because she was selected to be in, as of this morning, so tomorrow will be her last day of regular school. PRAY this works!!!!

As for being connected to Bossman, we have plans for that tonight :)

Ok, should I tell you about my doctors appointment, or the wildchilds orthodontist appointment?

Oh, pap smears over ortho any day...am I right ladies???

So yesterday I went to the doc. Could there be a more stressful appointment to attend than the pap? Oh, I supppose a colonoscopy probably ranks up there. But the pap is pretty stressful.

I went to the appointment, scheduled for 1:40. I sat in the waiting room until 2:40! That's right, ONE HOUR!!!!!!

Do these doctors do this to us, just to raise our blood pressure? I think they do.

So, I finally get into the exam room. Now, if your a woman, you know the routine, but just for kicks, let me tell you how it went.

First they wiegh you. Like we need to see that depressing number. ~sigh~

Next they take your temp. Which yesterday, mine was elevated slightly to 100.1. Probably because I had to sit in the hot waiting room for an HOUR! Then comes the blood pressure. Again, mine was high. Could it be from waiting in the waiting room for an HOUR?? HMMMM, I wonder.

Now it's time to get naked. That's right, NAKED! Oh sure, they give you this cute little mini paper vest that barely covers your boobies AND they give you this big paper blanket napkin thingie to put over your legs. Whoo HOO! Then they say the magic words...the doctor will be right with you.

HA! This is a lie. I'm pretty sure they have hidden cameras in there so they can entertain themselves with your discomfort. They must get quite the kick out of watching you try and cover your top and bottom. It must be quite amusing to watch you sit there on the table squirming...for 20 more MINUTES!!!!

That's right, 20 minutes later the doctor finally decided to come into the room. Now, these rooms are small, so the minute you hear someone coming even remotely close to the door, you are trying to make sure there is no skin showing, just in case there are people outside the door peeking in. I also forgot to mention that your feet are dangling off the end of the table. My feet were freezing and turning lovely shades of red and purple, which for 20 minutes I kept trying to rub some circulation back in.

Of course, it never fails. The minute I get myself all situated on the table, my cell phone rang. Of course it was on vibrate, but I could hear it, I was the only one in the room. The dilemma occures when you have to decide, do I risk jumping off the table, in the napkin, to get my phone, or do I not? Do I have enough time to grab the phone before anyone opens the door and sees my naked hiney?

See, I knew Bossman was worried. I mean, how long does a pap take? I've been gone now for 2 hours. So....what do I do?

Well, after 20 minutes of thinking I have time, but then chickening out, and then trying to talk myself into answering it again...the doctor finally came in. No, I didn't answer the phone. No hiney shots for the hall.

Now comes the extra fun part. First the doctor went over the blood results from last month. Everything looks great!!! So that was good news. Bad news, my blood pressure is high, so we decide we would try some medication. BOO!

Then comes the part we love most of all. Please put your feet into the stirups and scoot your hiney to the edge of the table. WHOO HOO!!! Time to exam the goods. First he felt me up in front. Now, the question I have is, where do you look while this is taking place? Do you look at the doctor? Do you stare staight up at the ceiling? What do you say while a doctor is feeling you up? So, do you come here often, didn't really seem to apply in this situation.

After finding out that the "girls" are lump free we moved to the kitty. A friend of mine got me started calling it the kitty. I kind of like that name, much more refined than pussy.


As I mentioned before, the kitty can be tempamental. She gets a little messy when being played with. Not that he was playing with her, but he was poking around in a very undignified fashion.

Again, I have to ask, what do you say when the doctor is poking around "down" there? I chose to look up at the ceiling and think about pink ponies and purple dragons. Hey! It works for me.

Finally, the last of the torture was upon me. He lubed up his fingers and put them up the "other" hole. Oooohhhhhh, the humiliation. Could we get any more personal? Hello Doctor, nice to meet you, could you put your fingers up my ass? PLEASE???

At least he lubed up first.

Did I mention I waited for over an HOUR for all this?

Ok, that's it. Wasn't that fun boys and girls. Now, tomorrow we will take a trip to the orthodontist office. It's not nearly as fun, but hey, not everyone wants to feel you up in all the wrong places!

later........