2006?
Doesn't it seem like we should be more Jetson-ish? I remember thinking that the year 2000 was so far off and I was going to be very old when that happened.
Ok, it was the 80's and I was a teen...so give me a break! But still, 2006 just doesn't seem possible.
So what shall my revolution for the new year be? Hmmm, I don't think I'll make one this year. I never stick to them anyway.
Well....Happy New Year!
later..........
Christmas is finally over!
Ok, christmas was two days ago and my house still looks like the chirstmas tree threw up in the living room.
Presents are scattered everywhere, wrapping paper is crammed in every nook and cranny, and the kids....they are bored, of course!
Actually, Christmas was great this year, everyone seem to get what they wanted and my MIL behaved herself. The second thing is really the only thing I wanted...thanks Santa :)
I got lots of bling, which is exactly what I love...thanks Bossman! He knows me so well. Plus it seems this is the year of getting bubble baths and shower gel. Are they trying to tell me something? (sniffs pitts just to make sure)
Really, I'm just happy it's over. No more shopping, no more pushing my way through crowds of short people with bad colone. Yes, I'm tall and although I don't have problems with short people in general, as most of my family is shorter than me, I really take offense to the short people who think I can't see them below me. These are the people that stop right in the middle of the main aisle and stand there gapping at the beautiful light up pillow that they just can't decide who in the family needs one of these wonderous creations. So while they are standing there trying to decide, there are ten people waiting to get by, because they don't think it's nessesary to pull their cart into a side aisle so that people can actually get by. Or, if the pillow doesn't get them, then it's the long lost friend that they haven't seen in forever, and they all need to stop, right in the middle of the store and chat for 3 hours. (rant over)
Sigh, now on to the spanking news. It's not good. Bossman has really really good intentions, but he doesn't have much follow thru. He talks a great talk, but it's just not happening. Right now, the kids are not in school, so that puts a big damper on the situation anyway, but still, I feel a little let down by the whole thing. I don't like to keep bringing it up, so I'm just not going to say anything for awhile.
I really wish I could make this thing work, but it seem like it just isn't meant to be for us.
I don't know, I just really don't know.
later.....
Presents are scattered everywhere, wrapping paper is crammed in every nook and cranny, and the kids....they are bored, of course!
Actually, Christmas was great this year, everyone seem to get what they wanted and my MIL behaved herself. The second thing is really the only thing I wanted...thanks Santa :)
I got lots of bling, which is exactly what I love...thanks Bossman! He knows me so well. Plus it seems this is the year of getting bubble baths and shower gel. Are they trying to tell me something? (sniffs pitts just to make sure)
Really, I'm just happy it's over. No more shopping, no more pushing my way through crowds of short people with bad colone. Yes, I'm tall and although I don't have problems with short people in general, as most of my family is shorter than me, I really take offense to the short people who think I can't see them below me. These are the people that stop right in the middle of the main aisle and stand there gapping at the beautiful light up pillow that they just can't decide who in the family needs one of these wonderous creations. So while they are standing there trying to decide, there are ten people waiting to get by, because they don't think it's nessesary to pull their cart into a side aisle so that people can actually get by. Or, if the pillow doesn't get them, then it's the long lost friend that they haven't seen in forever, and they all need to stop, right in the middle of the store and chat for 3 hours. (rant over)
Sigh, now on to the spanking news. It's not good. Bossman has really really good intentions, but he doesn't have much follow thru. He talks a great talk, but it's just not happening. Right now, the kids are not in school, so that puts a big damper on the situation anyway, but still, I feel a little let down by the whole thing. I don't like to keep bringing it up, so I'm just not going to say anything for awhile.
I really wish I could make this thing work, but it seem like it just isn't meant to be for us.
I don't know, I just really don't know.
later.....
A month later.....
So you would think that since I'm not working anymore I would have time to blog.
Nope. I've been busy busy busy!
First there was getting this house in order. I painted the bathroom and made it look all pretty. Then I had to dig out the kids bedrooms. That took a bulldozer and a dumptruck, but since I'm typing this you realize I survived!
Thanksgiving was great. Bossmans family came over, there were not big fights and everyone behaved themselves nicely. My mother in law didn't say anything offensive or stupid, so the day was a success. I cooked and my bird was wonderful. I think everything was great. Now we get to figure out what to do about Christmas. I hate thinking about it because my MIL is such a big baby. She has this idea that we should all be at her house so we can open presents under HER tree. But she lives in a tiny upstairs apartment. There isn't a spot of space anywhere, once you sit down, there is no getting back up until it's time to go. So needless to say, I hate going over there. Not only is it crowded, but she starts getting all anal when people get a little noisy. Hello...we have children! They will be noisy, especially on christmas, when they are opening gifts! SHEEZ!!
So what to do? Well, really we have no choice, we will have to go to her house. I know, we should just say no...but how do you say no to someone like that? Then she gets mad, and the holidays are ruined for everyone. So the best thing to do is suck it up and bare it for a couple of hours. (I shall read this last sentence for the next three weeks everyday, just to prepare myself)
Bossman has decided to introduce discipline back into the relationship. I haven't said much about it, because I've said so much already. I feel like if I keep pushing it myself, then it's something that I am forcing him to do. I do not want to force him into it, if I do that then it is not real, and if it's not real, it's not going to work for him or for me.
So the other day he gave a couple of rules...not really rules, but things that bug him that he'd like me to pay more attention to. One is putting away my hair dryer. I KNOW, it's a very small thing, but I am horrible at putting it away. And it bugs the crap out of him. So, that is now something punishable.
I think this is great. It's a small step, but it's perfect for our relationship. It's not something that will be too hard to implement in our relationship. I hope, I really hope that this time we can do this more consistently. When we were trying this before, we were really happy. We got along really well. I don't know how to explain it, but I think things just clicked for us.
It seems like lately we've been going through these times when we just don't get along. We don't communicate well and we just get upset with each other. It's nothing major, but it just sets everyone off in a bad mood. We get over it the next day but I wish we could just not have so many of those moments. Especially now during the holidays!
So, I hope things well get better here, I hope this works out. I think it will, the rules are easy to follow, but he has promised maintance spankings so I don't feel the need to break a rule just because I feel like getting a spanking.
Heres to hoping!
later.......
Nope. I've been busy busy busy!
First there was getting this house in order. I painted the bathroom and made it look all pretty. Then I had to dig out the kids bedrooms. That took a bulldozer and a dumptruck, but since I'm typing this you realize I survived!
Thanksgiving was great. Bossmans family came over, there were not big fights and everyone behaved themselves nicely. My mother in law didn't say anything offensive or stupid, so the day was a success. I cooked and my bird was wonderful. I think everything was great. Now we get to figure out what to do about Christmas. I hate thinking about it because my MIL is such a big baby. She has this idea that we should all be at her house so we can open presents under HER tree. But she lives in a tiny upstairs apartment. There isn't a spot of space anywhere, once you sit down, there is no getting back up until it's time to go. So needless to say, I hate going over there. Not only is it crowded, but she starts getting all anal when people get a little noisy. Hello...we have children! They will be noisy, especially on christmas, when they are opening gifts! SHEEZ!!
So what to do? Well, really we have no choice, we will have to go to her house. I know, we should just say no...but how do you say no to someone like that? Then she gets mad, and the holidays are ruined for everyone. So the best thing to do is suck it up and bare it for a couple of hours. (I shall read this last sentence for the next three weeks everyday, just to prepare myself)
Bossman has decided to introduce discipline back into the relationship. I haven't said much about it, because I've said so much already. I feel like if I keep pushing it myself, then it's something that I am forcing him to do. I do not want to force him into it, if I do that then it is not real, and if it's not real, it's not going to work for him or for me.
So the other day he gave a couple of rules...not really rules, but things that bug him that he'd like me to pay more attention to. One is putting away my hair dryer. I KNOW, it's a very small thing, but I am horrible at putting it away. And it bugs the crap out of him. So, that is now something punishable.
I think this is great. It's a small step, but it's perfect for our relationship. It's not something that will be too hard to implement in our relationship. I hope, I really hope that this time we can do this more consistently. When we were trying this before, we were really happy. We got along really well. I don't know how to explain it, but I think things just clicked for us.
It seems like lately we've been going through these times when we just don't get along. We don't communicate well and we just get upset with each other. It's nothing major, but it just sets everyone off in a bad mood. We get over it the next day but I wish we could just not have so many of those moments. Especially now during the holidays!
So, I hope things well get better here, I hope this works out. I think it will, the rules are easy to follow, but he has promised maintance spankings so I don't feel the need to break a rule just because I feel like getting a spanking.
Heres to hoping!
later.......
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Hmmm, I just read Ambers blog...and I'd link it, but I don't know how! (I know, I'm so lame when it comes to computers!)
Anyway, back to Ambers blog. Isn't it funny how we perceive ourselves? Isn't it funny how aging is such a horrible thing...and yet we all do it? I'm approaching 40. I know, that is not old. But I've been married for almost 17 years, and I was a very very different person when I got married. I have a teenager. Is there anybody on earth that throws your age in your face better than a teen? All I have to do is look at her, and I feel like I'm 80.
But then there is Bossman. He tells me I'm beautiful everyday. He tells me he can't keep his hands off of me. He WANTS me. Everyday.
I can't tell you how this makes me feel. Part of me is flattered and even a little shocked that someone feels that way about me. Even though I've been with Bossman a long time, I still can't believe that he wants to be with me. I ask myself...why me? Why does he want me? What do I have to offer this man who offers me the world? I feel like I can't offer him anything. I feel like even if I had something to offer...it wouldn't even be good enough for him. It's like buying that special someone a present, and then the present he gives you is 10 times better.
And why can't I accept a present that is way better than the one I give, without feeling guilty and unworthy? Is this low self esteem? Because I just don't think I have low self esteem in the rest of my life. I am very self assured in my work. (that I am about to shove...see last blog!) And I am very self assured at church, and with my friends. Certainly I am worth any gift I receive.
So why is it so hard to accept that Bossman thinks I'm beautiful. Why is it so hard for me to accept that Bossman loves me so much he would do anything for me? Why can't I just see what he sees in me?
And then there is aging. We are all aging. We are aging right now. And all the people on TV that look so wonderful...well, I might look that good if I sat in hair and makeup for 3 hours.
So we should accept the fact we are aging, we should embrace our age. We shouldn't be upset with the lines and the grays. But TV makes us feel old. It makes us feel un-pretty. I'm blaming the media, because that's better than blaming myself.
Now, if I could just see myself through Bossmans eyes. That would be nice.
later.......
Anyway, back to Ambers blog. Isn't it funny how we perceive ourselves? Isn't it funny how aging is such a horrible thing...and yet we all do it? I'm approaching 40. I know, that is not old. But I've been married for almost 17 years, and I was a very very different person when I got married. I have a teenager. Is there anybody on earth that throws your age in your face better than a teen? All I have to do is look at her, and I feel like I'm 80.
But then there is Bossman. He tells me I'm beautiful everyday. He tells me he can't keep his hands off of me. He WANTS me. Everyday.
I can't tell you how this makes me feel. Part of me is flattered and even a little shocked that someone feels that way about me. Even though I've been with Bossman a long time, I still can't believe that he wants to be with me. I ask myself...why me? Why does he want me? What do I have to offer this man who offers me the world? I feel like I can't offer him anything. I feel like even if I had something to offer...it wouldn't even be good enough for him. It's like buying that special someone a present, and then the present he gives you is 10 times better.
And why can't I accept a present that is way better than the one I give, without feeling guilty and unworthy? Is this low self esteem? Because I just don't think I have low self esteem in the rest of my life. I am very self assured in my work. (that I am about to shove...see last blog!) And I am very self assured at church, and with my friends. Certainly I am worth any gift I receive.
So why is it so hard to accept that Bossman thinks I'm beautiful. Why is it so hard for me to accept that Bossman loves me so much he would do anything for me? Why can't I just see what he sees in me?
And then there is aging. We are all aging. We are aging right now. And all the people on TV that look so wonderful...well, I might look that good if I sat in hair and makeup for 3 hours.
So we should accept the fact we are aging, we should embrace our age. We shouldn't be upset with the lines and the grays. But TV makes us feel old. It makes us feel un-pretty. I'm blaming the media, because that's better than blaming myself.
Now, if I could just see myself through Bossmans eyes. That would be nice.
later.......
Take this job and shove it!
Hooray for me, I'm quitting my job!!! I don't have to wait on the stupidest people in the world anymore!
The holiday shoppers can kiss my ass, for I won't be there for them to yell at!!!
Can you tell I'm not really happy about this whole quitting thing? Ok I AM so happy!! November 9th is my last day. I'll be throwing the party on the 10th when I'm sitting in my pjs eating bon-bons in front of the tube!
Ok look here's the deal, most customers are very nice. They are polite. They say please and thank you. They don't interrupt you. And best of all, they wait patiently for their turn in line.
That's most people. That's probably you.
Then you get the one's that think the world revolves around them. They think that because I have on the blue vest that I know about every single item in our 10mile long store. They think I know which stereo is the best, which TV has the best menu options, and which cordless phone will let them talk from 4 miles away. They also think that I know where to find size 3 girls underpants and where they might find playing cards and canning jars.
They think all that, even when I'm clearing standing in a cell phone booth.
They think that, even when I clearly have a badge on my vest that says CELL PHONE TECH!!!
And what about the bratty kids? The ones that scream and yell throughout the whole store and the parents do NOTHING!! For god sakes, is there really something in this store that is sooooo incredibly important that you have to stay there with a screaming child? WHAT is THAT important? Is it the tube of toothpaste, or the new bed sheets in aisle 3? SHEEZ!!!! Take your kid outside so I don't have to hear the screaming...PLEASE!!!!
Anyway I'm leaving. I can't take it anymore. I just can't. So now I'll be home, taking care of the wildchild and the little man, but most of all taking care of Bossman. Bossman has been the rock of this family for a long time. Since I work mostly nights, he is the one that takes care of dinner, homework, showers and everything else that needs to be done on a nightly basis with to kids. He is also the one that take the little man to cubscouts, and drives the wildchild to all her assorted things that teens need to be driven to. Not only that, but the man does laundry.
So now it's my turn to step up to the plate. I need to take care of the house and the kids so my man can take care of me.
And btw, he does a fine job of taking care of me!
Love you babe!
later.....
The holiday shoppers can kiss my ass, for I won't be there for them to yell at!!!
Can you tell I'm not really happy about this whole quitting thing? Ok I AM so happy!! November 9th is my last day. I'll be throwing the party on the 10th when I'm sitting in my pjs eating bon-bons in front of the tube!
Ok look here's the deal, most customers are very nice. They are polite. They say please and thank you. They don't interrupt you. And best of all, they wait patiently for their turn in line.
That's most people. That's probably you.
Then you get the one's that think the world revolves around them. They think that because I have on the blue vest that I know about every single item in our 10mile long store. They think I know which stereo is the best, which TV has the best menu options, and which cordless phone will let them talk from 4 miles away. They also think that I know where to find size 3 girls underpants and where they might find playing cards and canning jars.
They think all that, even when I'm clearing standing in a cell phone booth.
They think that, even when I clearly have a badge on my vest that says CELL PHONE TECH!!!
And what about the bratty kids? The ones that scream and yell throughout the whole store and the parents do NOTHING!! For god sakes, is there really something in this store that is sooooo incredibly important that you have to stay there with a screaming child? WHAT is THAT important? Is it the tube of toothpaste, or the new bed sheets in aisle 3? SHEEZ!!!! Take your kid outside so I don't have to hear the screaming...PLEASE!!!!
Anyway I'm leaving. I can't take it anymore. I just can't. So now I'll be home, taking care of the wildchild and the little man, but most of all taking care of Bossman. Bossman has been the rock of this family for a long time. Since I work mostly nights, he is the one that takes care of dinner, homework, showers and everything else that needs to be done on a nightly basis with to kids. He is also the one that take the little man to cubscouts, and drives the wildchild to all her assorted things that teens need to be driven to. Not only that, but the man does laundry.
So now it's my turn to step up to the plate. I need to take care of the house and the kids so my man can take care of me.
And btw, he does a fine job of taking care of me!
Love you babe!
later.....
Cookie day!
Ever have one of those days when you just want to eat cookies?
The other night, nobody felt like cooking, by no one, I mean me. Anyway, Bossman and I are laying on the bed talking. The kids are watching TV in the livingroom. Bossman says, lets have cookies for dinner. Homemade chocolate chip cookies.
Cookies for dinner? That sounds fun, but I'm a mom and moms know that cookies for dinner is just not a good idea. I mean really....what mother in their right mind lets their family eat cookies for dinner?
So, we called the kids into our room, and said, we're going to make chocolate chip cookies for dinner tonight. My son, who's 7, said, nah uh....your lying.
Nope, I was serious, and after the children got over the shock of it all, they did the happy dance!
We trooped into the kitchen and made the cookies...we gorged ourselves with cookie dough...I KNOW...we could have gotten sick from the eggs, shame on me, what a horrible mother I am. (how come I never got sick from cookie dough when I was a kid?)
Anyway, we had a blast, and my kids will always remember the night we had cookies for dinner! Of course, nobody wants cookies for a VERY long time.
On to spanking news,
We've been trying really hard to get back into the whole d/d thing. It's been hard, but Bossman has been spanking me before he goes to work, after the kids are in school. This time works best for us, but I'm having a hard time getting back into it.
For goodness sakes, this is what I want, so why am I so defiant when it comes to a spanking. Once the spanking is over, everything is GREAT, so why am I having a hard time with this?
Someone once said that maybe spanking is just the middle man for the good stuff. Does this mean that I need spanking to get to the good stuff? I know that I don't, Bossman will give me the good stuff whenever I want, but how come it's easier for me to get there after a good spanking? Even when we really not practicing the d/d on a consistent basis....I still fanasize about it. So what does that say about me?
I don't know, but I know we are happier when we have spanking in our lives.
later........
The other night, nobody felt like cooking, by no one, I mean me. Anyway, Bossman and I are laying on the bed talking. The kids are watching TV in the livingroom. Bossman says, lets have cookies for dinner. Homemade chocolate chip cookies.
Cookies for dinner? That sounds fun, but I'm a mom and moms know that cookies for dinner is just not a good idea. I mean really....what mother in their right mind lets their family eat cookies for dinner?
So, we called the kids into our room, and said, we're going to make chocolate chip cookies for dinner tonight. My son, who's 7, said, nah uh....your lying.
Nope, I was serious, and after the children got over the shock of it all, they did the happy dance!
We trooped into the kitchen and made the cookies...we gorged ourselves with cookie dough...I KNOW...we could have gotten sick from the eggs, shame on me, what a horrible mother I am. (how come I never got sick from cookie dough when I was a kid?)
Anyway, we had a blast, and my kids will always remember the night we had cookies for dinner! Of course, nobody wants cookies for a VERY long time.
On to spanking news,
We've been trying really hard to get back into the whole d/d thing. It's been hard, but Bossman has been spanking me before he goes to work, after the kids are in school. This time works best for us, but I'm having a hard time getting back into it.
For goodness sakes, this is what I want, so why am I so defiant when it comes to a spanking. Once the spanking is over, everything is GREAT, so why am I having a hard time with this?
Someone once said that maybe spanking is just the middle man for the good stuff. Does this mean that I need spanking to get to the good stuff? I know that I don't, Bossman will give me the good stuff whenever I want, but how come it's easier for me to get there after a good spanking? Even when we really not practicing the d/d on a consistent basis....I still fanasize about it. So what does that say about me?
I don't know, but I know we are happier when we have spanking in our lives.
later........
do children dictate the strictness factor in your house?
I'm wondering if it makes a difference having children in the home as to how strict you are.
My Bossman and I have put the whole d/d thing on the back burner. I've noticed that alot of d/d couples go through ups and downs in the d/d relationship. We find it really hard to be consistent in our house, mostly due to children. I really can't have my Bossman spanking me when the children are home...even when they are asleep as their rooms are right next to ours and our home is very small. We have discussed how different life will be when the children leave the nest, and Bossman has hinted that he would probably be a lot more strict, if he could.
So, are we the only couple that finds it hard to be strict because of children, or are we just not creative enough. Also, is it strictness or consistently that is the problem?
I posted the above comment in a d/d club I'm a member of.
After posting this comment, I went back and read some of the responses. One of the ladies in the club said that she noticed that most couples in a d/d relationship either have no children or have adult children that don't live at home anymore. I have noticed this very fact myself.
Since I have children, I think that strictness and consistency are lacking in our d/d relationship.
For us it is a lot like training a puppy. They say when training a puppy that you should only discipline the puppy at the time of occurrence. I sort of feel the same when it comes to me. I don't want to have a list of things that I'm to be disciplined for later in the week when we have a few minutes. The purpose will have been lost on me. It's too late, by then the momentum is gone, the incident has been forgotten. Why bring it up again? Unless it is still something that is causing undue tension in the house, why even go there again?
Could this be the root of our d/d problems? Probably, but that doesn't mean we've given up on it.
As a matter of fact, I got a spanking this morning.....
But I'll save that for next entry!
later.........
My Bossman and I have put the whole d/d thing on the back burner. I've noticed that alot of d/d couples go through ups and downs in the d/d relationship. We find it really hard to be consistent in our house, mostly due to children. I really can't have my Bossman spanking me when the children are home...even when they are asleep as their rooms are right next to ours and our home is very small. We have discussed how different life will be when the children leave the nest, and Bossman has hinted that he would probably be a lot more strict, if he could.
So, are we the only couple that finds it hard to be strict because of children, or are we just not creative enough. Also, is it strictness or consistently that is the problem?
I posted the above comment in a d/d club I'm a member of.
After posting this comment, I went back and read some of the responses. One of the ladies in the club said that she noticed that most couples in a d/d relationship either have no children or have adult children that don't live at home anymore. I have noticed this very fact myself.
Since I have children, I think that strictness and consistency are lacking in our d/d relationship.
For us it is a lot like training a puppy. They say when training a puppy that you should only discipline the puppy at the time of occurrence. I sort of feel the same when it comes to me. I don't want to have a list of things that I'm to be disciplined for later in the week when we have a few minutes. The purpose will have been lost on me. It's too late, by then the momentum is gone, the incident has been forgotten. Why bring it up again? Unless it is still something that is causing undue tension in the house, why even go there again?
Could this be the root of our d/d problems? Probably, but that doesn't mean we've given up on it.
As a matter of fact, I got a spanking this morning.....
But I'll save that for next entry!
later.........
duldrums of life
Does it ever seem like life just happens?
Everyday life comes and goes...what is the meaning of this?
Why does it seem like every day is the same old thing, and what is the purpose of these same old things that we do everyday?
I go to work, I come home, I fix dinner, and go to bed, and then....I do it again, and again, and again. Why? Why must we run around like chicken with our heads cut off and accomplish nothing?
Ok, the arguement could be made that we are raising our children to be successful happy adult.
Soooooo....what....so they can run around like chickens with their heads cut off and accomplish nothing? Is that really our sole purpose, to populate the world?
I guess I'm just wondering why I bother..... if I figure it out, I'll let you know!
later....
Everyday life comes and goes...what is the meaning of this?
Why does it seem like every day is the same old thing, and what is the purpose of these same old things that we do everyday?
I go to work, I come home, I fix dinner, and go to bed, and then....I do it again, and again, and again. Why? Why must we run around like chicken with our heads cut off and accomplish nothing?
Ok, the arguement could be made that we are raising our children to be successful happy adult.
Soooooo....what....so they can run around like chickens with their heads cut off and accomplish nothing? Is that really our sole purpose, to populate the world?
I guess I'm just wondering why I bother..... if I figure it out, I'll let you know!
later....
Survivor
Ok, I made it through yesterday, I had my pity party with myself and now I feel better! I think it's amazing what a persons death can do to you. I never had to deal with someone really close to me dying. Although it's been a hard journey, I am fascinated with all the emotions that I've had to deal with.
There is something really great that came of my Grandmas death. I got to meet cousins and uncle and aunt that I had never met. We have been keeping in contact with each other, and it's amazing how cool it feels to be related to someone, flesh and blood. All growing up I just had my parents and my brother and sister, we didn't live close to our other relatives. So other than the grandparents, I didn't know my other relatives. Now I feel like I'm part of an exclusive club that nobody else can join...unless of course they are born into it!
So I survived yesterday...and tomorrow Survivor starts! Oh how I LOVE that show!!! I simply can't wait! And they are teasing us by telling us that 2 old survivors will be on the show! I hope it's Rupert...I love that man! Another great survivor would be Johnny Fairplay!! That would be GREAT!!
Now lets talk spankings...or lack thereof!
I'm not getting any. Nope nothin', nada, zip, zero, zilch!
School is back in session, we've had lots of time, and the worst is Bossman keeps telling me he wants to start up with the discipline again. But has he? Do I have to remind him everyday? Geez I think I'm bratty enough, so that can't be the problem.
What's a gal gotta do to get a spankin around here? When I figure it out....I'll let you know!
later.....
There is something really great that came of my Grandmas death. I got to meet cousins and uncle and aunt that I had never met. We have been keeping in contact with each other, and it's amazing how cool it feels to be related to someone, flesh and blood. All growing up I just had my parents and my brother and sister, we didn't live close to our other relatives. So other than the grandparents, I didn't know my other relatives. Now I feel like I'm part of an exclusive club that nobody else can join...unless of course they are born into it!
So I survived yesterday...and tomorrow Survivor starts! Oh how I LOVE that show!!! I simply can't wait! And they are teasing us by telling us that 2 old survivors will be on the show! I hope it's Rupert...I love that man! Another great survivor would be Johnny Fairplay!! That would be GREAT!!
Now lets talk spankings...or lack thereof!
I'm not getting any. Nope nothin', nada, zip, zero, zilch!
School is back in session, we've had lots of time, and the worst is Bossman keeps telling me he wants to start up with the discipline again. But has he? Do I have to remind him everyday? Geez I think I'm bratty enough, so that can't be the problem.
What's a gal gotta do to get a spankin around here? When I figure it out....I'll let you know!
later.....
In Memory
Today is the first anniversary of my Grandmothers death.
I'm really sad today. But I don't want to tell Bossman. I know he won't know what today is. I'm not mad that he won't remember, he's a man, so I expect that from him. But still I'm sad. I would like to wallow in my sadness. But I can't. I have to clean the house, pick up children from school. Cook dinner. You know...normal everyday life things.
But my Grandma died last year...on this date. I loved her. I will always love her.
How did I manage a whole year without her? How did I manage not calling her, telling her about my family..my life?
How did I manage?
I guess it just goes to show, life goes on. As much as I miss her, I still had to live. I still had children to take care of. I still had dinners to cook, I still had to clean the house and go to work. And I still think.....is this really important? Doesn't it all seem meaningless?
What is the purpose of our lives? Because once your gone...nothing matters anymore. So why are we here?
Oh I know. So we can cook dinner, raise our children, and die.
I guess I'm in a cynical mood. Can you tell?
Ok, I'll go now. I'm go live my life. I guess I should start with the house.........
later......
I'm really sad today. But I don't want to tell Bossman. I know he won't know what today is. I'm not mad that he won't remember, he's a man, so I expect that from him. But still I'm sad. I would like to wallow in my sadness. But I can't. I have to clean the house, pick up children from school. Cook dinner. You know...normal everyday life things.
But my Grandma died last year...on this date. I loved her. I will always love her.
How did I manage a whole year without her? How did I manage not calling her, telling her about my family..my life?
How did I manage?
I guess it just goes to show, life goes on. As much as I miss her, I still had to live. I still had children to take care of. I still had dinners to cook, I still had to clean the house and go to work. And I still think.....is this really important? Doesn't it all seem meaningless?
What is the purpose of our lives? Because once your gone...nothing matters anymore. So why are we here?
Oh I know. So we can cook dinner, raise our children, and die.
I guess I'm in a cynical mood. Can you tell?
Ok, I'll go now. I'm go live my life. I guess I should start with the house.........
later......
in threes
They say that bad things happen in threes. If this is true, then Bossman has one more bad thing left to look forward to. Very ominous huh?
Bossman went to the funeral for the lady that died on Friday. Even though funerals aren't fun, he really wanted to see the children in another setting other than an accident scene. He says it was the saddest funeral he's ever been too. I can imagine. I didn't go with him. I just couldn't. Does this make me a bad person. Bossman says he would have been there for me. I feel bad that I didn't go with him to support him. But I just couldn't, I couldn't face those children, that husband, her friends. Does that make me a coward? Maybe, but I just couldn't.
After the funeral Bossman came home not feeling very well. We spent the rest of the day just hanging out at home. Towards evening, Bossman started to get a toothache. Why do medical and dental things always happen on a weekend? Saturday, Bossman can't function. His tooth was killing him. Lucky for him the dentist is our friend, so we called him, because let me tell you, when tylenol with codeine doesn't work, what option is left? (oh we even tried whiskey, but don't worry, he was just swishing, he wasn't mixing drinks with codeine!)
Our dentist met us at his office, just as my husband was about to lose it from the pain. He does something to the tooth to make it better, gives us a prescription for demeral and sends us on our way. Poor Bossman! He was a mess. Poor guy. Sunday we wake up to half his face swollen. I felt so bad for him. He just went through a really bad week, and suddenly now he has to deal with his teeth? Ugh! Anyway, the dentist assures us that the swelling will go down with antibiotics. And Thursday? Root canal day! Oh goodness, it just doesn't end for him.
The swelling has gone down so that is good, and he's trying to function normally today, but geez how much can one person take? He's my hero!
Ok, don't get whiplash as I change the subject....
School has started!! You can't see this, but I'm doing a happy dance!
Summer was great, but the kids back in school is even better. I know have free rein of the computer to blog without people looking over my shoulder. I know can be on the computer without the insistent whine of someone....when's it my turn on the computer? I can know read dirty rauchy blogs without worry that little eyes will see something inappropriate!!! Hooray for me!!! This also means we will be getting back to spanking! (this for me, is good, but not so good for my butt) I have to admit, this has been a missing piece to our life. It's not that we can't function without it, but god, life is so much better with it!
So in the face of tragedy, I am counting my blessings. Aside from the tooth issue, everyone is healthy. My dearly beloved is still alive. And the kids are back in school!
So things are getting good. Lets hope that third bad thing already happened and I didn't even notice!
later........
Bossman went to the funeral for the lady that died on Friday. Even though funerals aren't fun, he really wanted to see the children in another setting other than an accident scene. He says it was the saddest funeral he's ever been too. I can imagine. I didn't go with him. I just couldn't. Does this make me a bad person. Bossman says he would have been there for me. I feel bad that I didn't go with him to support him. But I just couldn't, I couldn't face those children, that husband, her friends. Does that make me a coward? Maybe, but I just couldn't.
After the funeral Bossman came home not feeling very well. We spent the rest of the day just hanging out at home. Towards evening, Bossman started to get a toothache. Why do medical and dental things always happen on a weekend? Saturday, Bossman can't function. His tooth was killing him. Lucky for him the dentist is our friend, so we called him, because let me tell you, when tylenol with codeine doesn't work, what option is left? (oh we even tried whiskey, but don't worry, he was just swishing, he wasn't mixing drinks with codeine!)
Our dentist met us at his office, just as my husband was about to lose it from the pain. He does something to the tooth to make it better, gives us a prescription for demeral and sends us on our way. Poor Bossman! He was a mess. Poor guy. Sunday we wake up to half his face swollen. I felt so bad for him. He just went through a really bad week, and suddenly now he has to deal with his teeth? Ugh! Anyway, the dentist assures us that the swelling will go down with antibiotics. And Thursday? Root canal day! Oh goodness, it just doesn't end for him.
The swelling has gone down so that is good, and he's trying to function normally today, but geez how much can one person take? He's my hero!
Ok, don't get whiplash as I change the subject....
School has started!! You can't see this, but I'm doing a happy dance!
Summer was great, but the kids back in school is even better. I know have free rein of the computer to blog without people looking over my shoulder. I know can be on the computer without the insistent whine of someone....when's it my turn on the computer? I can know read dirty rauchy blogs without worry that little eyes will see something inappropriate!!! Hooray for me!!! This also means we will be getting back to spanking! (this for me, is good, but not so good for my butt) I have to admit, this has been a missing piece to our life. It's not that we can't function without it, but god, life is so much better with it!
So in the face of tragedy, I am counting my blessings. Aside from the tooth issue, everyone is healthy. My dearly beloved is still alive. And the kids are back in school!
So things are getting good. Lets hope that third bad thing already happened and I didn't even notice!
later........
one moment in time...
One minute your driving down the road, just minding your own business, and suddenly your life changes forever.
My husband was driving home for lunch on Monday, when suddenly on the other side of the road, a guy runs a red light, a lady slams into him, turns her car the opposite direction, and a SUV slams into her driver side door.
There were 4 children in her car. There were 2 children in the SUV.
My husband was there. He saw the whole thing take place. He was the first to get out of his car to see if anyone needed help. He pulled children out of the car. He watched in horror as they took over an hour to get the childrens mom out of the car. He tried to comfort the children as much as he could. The people in the SUV were fine. The guy that ran the red, injured, but fine. The police take statements, and then with nothing left to do, my husband comes home not knowing if the mother is ok.
Home....everyone at home is doing normal things. My son is playing on the computer. I am watch some mundane thing on tv. Something that isn't even important. My husband walks in with haunted eyes. Eyes that tell you something is not right. Eyes that have seen things that nobody should have to see. It was all in the eyes.
He tries to convey what happened. But I was at home, doing normal everyday things. Besides you hear about car accidents everyday, and as long as it isn't anyone you know...life just goes on...right?
That night, on the news, the story is right there. Top story. The lady, with the four children in the car with her...died. The lady who was just driving along, probably having a very normal, everyday life..died. And with her was an unborn child.
The children my husband helped pull out of the car, they were all fine....as fine as they could be knowing that they were there when their mom died. The youngest child is about a year old. She was safely in a infant seat. The second was about three, she too was safely in a child seat. The older boys, 8, and 10, safely wearing seat belts. Their mother...a hero.
I can't begin to tell you how this as affected our lives. My husband could have been the one hit. My husband could have been the one who died. But he was going the other way. My husband watched as a life was instantly lost. Two precious lives. The mother and the unborn child. Gone. Just like that.
Life is so precious. Life can be taken from you in an instant. Have you told the people in your life how much you love them? Have you told them how much they mean to you? Do it now. Stop reading this and call your loved ones, tell them you love them. Tell them they are important to you. Otherwise, how will they know?
Life for my husband will never be the same. Neither will mine. I almost lost the most precious person in my life. And yet....I was the lucky one. A husband is now having to deal with the loss of a wife and a baby. And still he has to raise his other children. I still have my husband. I still have my precious children. Why do I get to be the lucky one? Why did that woman have to die when she had so much to live for?
I wish I knew the answer to that.....
later.....
My husband was driving home for lunch on Monday, when suddenly on the other side of the road, a guy runs a red light, a lady slams into him, turns her car the opposite direction, and a SUV slams into her driver side door.
There were 4 children in her car. There were 2 children in the SUV.
My husband was there. He saw the whole thing take place. He was the first to get out of his car to see if anyone needed help. He pulled children out of the car. He watched in horror as they took over an hour to get the childrens mom out of the car. He tried to comfort the children as much as he could. The people in the SUV were fine. The guy that ran the red, injured, but fine. The police take statements, and then with nothing left to do, my husband comes home not knowing if the mother is ok.
Home....everyone at home is doing normal things. My son is playing on the computer. I am watch some mundane thing on tv. Something that isn't even important. My husband walks in with haunted eyes. Eyes that tell you something is not right. Eyes that have seen things that nobody should have to see. It was all in the eyes.
He tries to convey what happened. But I was at home, doing normal everyday things. Besides you hear about car accidents everyday, and as long as it isn't anyone you know...life just goes on...right?
That night, on the news, the story is right there. Top story. The lady, with the four children in the car with her...died. The lady who was just driving along, probably having a very normal, everyday life..died. And with her was an unborn child.
The children my husband helped pull out of the car, they were all fine....as fine as they could be knowing that they were there when their mom died. The youngest child is about a year old. She was safely in a infant seat. The second was about three, she too was safely in a child seat. The older boys, 8, and 10, safely wearing seat belts. Their mother...a hero.
I can't begin to tell you how this as affected our lives. My husband could have been the one hit. My husband could have been the one who died. But he was going the other way. My husband watched as a life was instantly lost. Two precious lives. The mother and the unborn child. Gone. Just like that.
Life is so precious. Life can be taken from you in an instant. Have you told the people in your life how much you love them? Have you told them how much they mean to you? Do it now. Stop reading this and call your loved ones, tell them you love them. Tell them they are important to you. Otherwise, how will they know?
Life for my husband will never be the same. Neither will mine. I almost lost the most precious person in my life. And yet....I was the lucky one. A husband is now having to deal with the loss of a wife and a baby. And still he has to raise his other children. I still have my husband. I still have my precious children. Why do I get to be the lucky one? Why did that woman have to die when she had so much to live for?
I wish I knew the answer to that.....
later.....
I've been thinking.....
which is usually not a good thing...LOL
Anyway, I was thinking about how different people are. What I mean by that is that here I am, not feeling to terrible sexual lately and Bossman is always sexual. This is the story of our relationship. This has been a problem for us our entire relationship. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm a very sexual being. I enjoy sex. Just not that often. I'm more of a once a week kinda gal, Bossman would love once or twice a day, if he could. But then there are times when I am so horny I can't stand it, and I want sex all the time. But those times are usually in spurts and don't happen that often.
So the other day, I was reading Carrielilly's blog, and she has the opposite problem as I do. So how does that happen? I mean, Bossman would NEVER be too tired for sex. He would stay up all night if I would, and still get up for work on time. (albeit, very tired..LOL)
Of coure in Carries situation, she realized it was because he thought there would have to be a huge sex scene....so it really a case of misunderstanding. In my case though things are different. I've often suggested to Bossman that we don't have to have a big sex scene, I don't mind having a quickie, once in awhile, especially because I know he needs sex more than I. But he doesn't really like the quickie, because he part of his enjoyment is pleasing me! (what a sweet man I have!!)
So anyway, that was what I was thinking about...I know, it wasn't earth shattering...but isn't it funny how different we all truly are?
But yet....we are all the same...
later.......
Anyway, I was thinking about how different people are. What I mean by that is that here I am, not feeling to terrible sexual lately and Bossman is always sexual. This is the story of our relationship. This has been a problem for us our entire relationship. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm a very sexual being. I enjoy sex. Just not that often. I'm more of a once a week kinda gal, Bossman would love once or twice a day, if he could. But then there are times when I am so horny I can't stand it, and I want sex all the time. But those times are usually in spurts and don't happen that often.
So the other day, I was reading Carrielilly's blog, and she has the opposite problem as I do. So how does that happen? I mean, Bossman would NEVER be too tired for sex. He would stay up all night if I would, and still get up for work on time. (albeit, very tired..LOL)
Of coure in Carries situation, she realized it was because he thought there would have to be a huge sex scene....so it really a case of misunderstanding. In my case though things are different. I've often suggested to Bossman that we don't have to have a big sex scene, I don't mind having a quickie, once in awhile, especially because I know he needs sex more than I. But he doesn't really like the quickie, because he part of his enjoyment is pleasing me! (what a sweet man I have!!)
So anyway, that was what I was thinking about...I know, it wasn't earth shattering...but isn't it funny how different we all truly are?
But yet....we are all the same...
later.......
All good things must come to an end....
Things have been a tad rough around my house lately. For some strange reason I've lost my sex drive...so this is a big problem with Bossman.
Now Bossman thinks it's due to the fact that I haven't been properly disciplined for a while. We just don't have any free time when there are no kids around. I'm sure that once school starts again we will be on track again. But still, school is still a good month away...sigh
So now I'm pondering the question, is the discipline directly tied to my sex drive? Must I now have discipline in order to feel sexual? And if this is the case, how is that going to affect the rest of my life? I don't really want the discipline to be tied to my sex drive. I've always thought that the 2 things were seperate. I mean, I had a sex drive before the discipline was in my life. Although, if I really think about it....I fantasized alot about it my whole life.
Ugh...this is really bugging me. I think I'm just going through a really stressful time in my life, I'm tired when I get home and sex just isn't really on my list. Of course this is all corresponding to the same time my discipline stopped, so I just can't decide what the true problem is.
I have to get my sex drive back soon or Bossman is going to explode. Why is it that guys never seem to have this problem? Why is it that the women always seem to be the once losing thier sex drive? It's just not fair!
Well, I have decided that no matter how stressful life has become, Bossman always comes first. I haven't shown that to him for awhile, and if he reads this before I do anything about it, he's going to laugh at this paragraph. But I am going to make it happen starting today. It doesn't matter if I feel like doing it, it just matters that I do it. And I'm not even talking about sex anymore, I just talking about him. He's been so wonderful to me though this time when I've been nothing but depressed, cranky, crabby, and basically not much fun to be around. So I must give some back.
So my goal for today is to do something nice for Bossman. Even though I'm going to be working 9 hours today, I'm sure I can think of something nice to do for him. And just thinking about that makes me feel closer to him already. And if I can accomplish that....then sex is just around the corner...
later.....
Now Bossman thinks it's due to the fact that I haven't been properly disciplined for a while. We just don't have any free time when there are no kids around. I'm sure that once school starts again we will be on track again. But still, school is still a good month away...sigh
So now I'm pondering the question, is the discipline directly tied to my sex drive? Must I now have discipline in order to feel sexual? And if this is the case, how is that going to affect the rest of my life? I don't really want the discipline to be tied to my sex drive. I've always thought that the 2 things were seperate. I mean, I had a sex drive before the discipline was in my life. Although, if I really think about it....I fantasized alot about it my whole life.
Ugh...this is really bugging me. I think I'm just going through a really stressful time in my life, I'm tired when I get home and sex just isn't really on my list. Of course this is all corresponding to the same time my discipline stopped, so I just can't decide what the true problem is.
I have to get my sex drive back soon or Bossman is going to explode. Why is it that guys never seem to have this problem? Why is it that the women always seem to be the once losing thier sex drive? It's just not fair!
Well, I have decided that no matter how stressful life has become, Bossman always comes first. I haven't shown that to him for awhile, and if he reads this before I do anything about it, he's going to laugh at this paragraph. But I am going to make it happen starting today. It doesn't matter if I feel like doing it, it just matters that I do it. And I'm not even talking about sex anymore, I just talking about him. He's been so wonderful to me though this time when I've been nothing but depressed, cranky, crabby, and basically not much fun to be around. So I must give some back.
So my goal for today is to do something nice for Bossman. Even though I'm going to be working 9 hours today, I'm sure I can think of something nice to do for him. And just thinking about that makes me feel closer to him already. And if I can accomplish that....then sex is just around the corner...
later.....
Still around
Well, I'm still around, I just haven't thought of anything interesting to write about.
My life has been pretty hectic lately, and with so much crap going on, it's hard to get motivated to write something. Life is still good with Bossman, but my job is very stressful right now, so I'm not sure what is going to happen with it.
So as far as the spankings are going....they are still going. Maybe not as much as before, but that is only because the kids are staying up alot later in the evening and so there hasn't been any time for a spanking. But things look promising for this weekend with the kids spending the night at Grandmas, I'm sure there will be some spankings for me. I'm told that I have been getting away with alot of stuff, and so I think my butt will pay. But that really is a good thing because when I don't get spanked very much, we don't seem to be as close as usual. I find myself wanting to crawl into myself, and be by myself alot more. Sometimes just having him touch me sets me on edge, and I'm not sure why. But I feel so much closer and more open to his affection after he has spanked me.
Just writing those words sounds weird to me. Why is spanking so connected to my emotions? Why do I feel so connected to him after he has spanked me, but so distant when he hasn't? I never thought my emotional life would be dependant on spanking. I would never have guess that I deperately need to be spanked. But now it seems like I can't really function properly unless I've been properly spanked.
So lets hope there is some spanking going on in my house this weekend, or god help Bossman because it will probably be worse then PMS...
later......
My life has been pretty hectic lately, and with so much crap going on, it's hard to get motivated to write something. Life is still good with Bossman, but my job is very stressful right now, so I'm not sure what is going to happen with it.
So as far as the spankings are going....they are still going. Maybe not as much as before, but that is only because the kids are staying up alot later in the evening and so there hasn't been any time for a spanking. But things look promising for this weekend with the kids spending the night at Grandmas, I'm sure there will be some spankings for me. I'm told that I have been getting away with alot of stuff, and so I think my butt will pay. But that really is a good thing because when I don't get spanked very much, we don't seem to be as close as usual. I find myself wanting to crawl into myself, and be by myself alot more. Sometimes just having him touch me sets me on edge, and I'm not sure why. But I feel so much closer and more open to his affection after he has spanked me.
Just writing those words sounds weird to me. Why is spanking so connected to my emotions? Why do I feel so connected to him after he has spanked me, but so distant when he hasn't? I never thought my emotional life would be dependant on spanking. I would never have guess that I deperately need to be spanked. But now it seems like I can't really function properly unless I've been properly spanked.
So lets hope there is some spanking going on in my house this weekend, or god help Bossman because it will probably be worse then PMS...
later......
Life is good.
Things are going so great in my life right now, I hate to say anything for fear of jinxing it!
But I just have to get this all down, so when the bad times show up I can read this and remember that things do get better!
Bossman and I are really getting along great. The other night, I told him some things about me from when we were first married that he didn't know. It got really personal, so I don't feel comfortable sharing it here, but after I told him he was really surprised. He said it changed his outlook about me, (in a good way) and he only wished he had known this stuff all those years ago, because now it just seems like wasted time to him.
But it's not wasted time in my book. All the years we've been together have been a learning experience. They have been a time of growing and maturing. We are both such different people than we were back then. I agree that had I shared my feelings back then, things might have been different sooner, but I think we are exactly where we should be right now.
D/d is going to a part of our lives forever. That night was the realization that it wasn't just some thing that we were experimenting with. It isn't some kinky sex thing that we will get bored with. This is our life now! Do you know how happy this makes me? I thought this was some sort of sick fantasy. When I first got married the internet wasn't really around, so I thought I was just plain nuts to even think this was something that normal people did. So I never thought it would be real for me. I really never thought I would be able to share such weird thoughts with my husband. We are the goodie two shoes that go to church every week and don't drink. So to think that my life would be like this....well it's a dream come true. How lucky am I?
So enough bragging, and on to some details. We have been having our nightly spankings with the back scratcher. We have a ritual of me going into the bedroom at 11 and waiting at the wall, holding the dreaded BS. (isn't that the perfect initials for it?) Bossman comes in, places me over his lap and smacks my bottom with that thing. He doesn't make it bad. I'm not in tears or anything. It's just enough to get my attention. It's enough to make my bottom sting for awhile, but it isn't anything like a punishment spanking.
Bossman said that he really enjoys this part of the day. This is the part of the day when he knows that for the next 20 or 30 minutes, he is in complete control, and I have submitted myself to him completely. He likes that! So I guess you could say it's a win win situation for us. I get his undivided attention, and he gets a wife that is completely submissive. I would say it's a great way to end the day. Of course 9 times out of 10, it leads to some great love making......ahhhhhhh, life is good!
later....
But I just have to get this all down, so when the bad times show up I can read this and remember that things do get better!
Bossman and I are really getting along great. The other night, I told him some things about me from when we were first married that he didn't know. It got really personal, so I don't feel comfortable sharing it here, but after I told him he was really surprised. He said it changed his outlook about me, (in a good way) and he only wished he had known this stuff all those years ago, because now it just seems like wasted time to him.
But it's not wasted time in my book. All the years we've been together have been a learning experience. They have been a time of growing and maturing. We are both such different people than we were back then. I agree that had I shared my feelings back then, things might have been different sooner, but I think we are exactly where we should be right now.
D/d is going to a part of our lives forever. That night was the realization that it wasn't just some thing that we were experimenting with. It isn't some kinky sex thing that we will get bored with. This is our life now! Do you know how happy this makes me? I thought this was some sort of sick fantasy. When I first got married the internet wasn't really around, so I thought I was just plain nuts to even think this was something that normal people did. So I never thought it would be real for me. I really never thought I would be able to share such weird thoughts with my husband. We are the goodie two shoes that go to church every week and don't drink. So to think that my life would be like this....well it's a dream come true. How lucky am I?
So enough bragging, and on to some details. We have been having our nightly spankings with the back scratcher. We have a ritual of me going into the bedroom at 11 and waiting at the wall, holding the dreaded BS. (isn't that the perfect initials for it?) Bossman comes in, places me over his lap and smacks my bottom with that thing. He doesn't make it bad. I'm not in tears or anything. It's just enough to get my attention. It's enough to make my bottom sting for awhile, but it isn't anything like a punishment spanking.
Bossman said that he really enjoys this part of the day. This is the part of the day when he knows that for the next 20 or 30 minutes, he is in complete control, and I have submitted myself to him completely. He likes that! So I guess you could say it's a win win situation for us. I get his undivided attention, and he gets a wife that is completely submissive. I would say it's a great way to end the day. Of course 9 times out of 10, it leads to some great love making......ahhhhhhh, life is good!
later....
Of d/d and childrens birthdays and other nonsense
Today is my little man's birthday. He is my baby! And now he's seven. He told me this morning that he was a big boy now, and I can't treat him like a baby anymore. Yeah, right, like that's gonna happen!
Where did the time go? When did he become this little person with thoughts and feelings and opinions about things? When did he realize that he could make decisions like what to wear, and how he wants his hair combed? And when did he become so freaking smart? He's only in 1st grade, but he's reading almost 4th grade level. And the biggest question of all is......when did I get this OLD? I mean, I already knew I was getting old, my 14yr old reminds me daily of how ancient I am. Well, life does continue on doesn't it.
Speaking of continuing on....d/d is still alive and kicking around here. Isn't it funny how relationships are? Ours is constantly up and down. And it's the same with the d/d. It's up for awhile, and then we seem to throw it on the back burner for awhile. Sometimes I think life just gets in the way. Well, its on the front burner right now.
Last year, before my grandma died, Bossman was spanking me every night. Not anything major, just enough to remind me that he was in charge. I didn't really think it was necessary, but I have to admit, Iwas alot more submissive. But then my grandma died, and things changed. Life for me changed. I almost wanted to give up the whole d/d thing. Almost, was the key word in that last sentence. I didn't really know what I wanted back then. But a couple of months ago, we had our big blow up, and I thought I had lost d/d forever. Lucky for me, I have the most understanding husband in the world, and so it didn't come to that. But I never could be back into the whole every night spanking routine. But last night Bossman decided every night was going to happen. Starting last night. He wants me to be more submissive, and I want to be more submissive, so we are going back to everynight for awhile. He has determined that weekends will be off, unless something really needs to be addressed. He said that he may not spank every night, but he wants to see me assume the position, to show my submission, every night. So I agreed that we would try this for awhile and see what happens.
Will this work? Who knows? But I'm all for trying to please my husband.
Speaking of pleasing my husband. He is so amazing, I just have write down what he said yesterday. The last couple of days have been sort of tense for us. We weren't really connecting. But yesterday, he said we needed to stop being so distant from each other. He said that everyday that we do that, is another day that we've wasted not being loving to each other. Every day that goes by is another day that we can't get back and we've wasted it!
So people, don't waste another day being distant from your lover. If something happens to you tomorrow, you will have wasted a perfectly good day with your lover.
Life is too short.....go make love or get a spanking or something....
later.......
Where did the time go? When did he become this little person with thoughts and feelings and opinions about things? When did he realize that he could make decisions like what to wear, and how he wants his hair combed? And when did he become so freaking smart? He's only in 1st grade, but he's reading almost 4th grade level. And the biggest question of all is......when did I get this OLD? I mean, I already knew I was getting old, my 14yr old reminds me daily of how ancient I am. Well, life does continue on doesn't it.
Speaking of continuing on....d/d is still alive and kicking around here. Isn't it funny how relationships are? Ours is constantly up and down. And it's the same with the d/d. It's up for awhile, and then we seem to throw it on the back burner for awhile. Sometimes I think life just gets in the way. Well, its on the front burner right now.
Last year, before my grandma died, Bossman was spanking me every night. Not anything major, just enough to remind me that he was in charge. I didn't really think it was necessary, but I have to admit, Iwas alot more submissive. But then my grandma died, and things changed. Life for me changed. I almost wanted to give up the whole d/d thing. Almost, was the key word in that last sentence. I didn't really know what I wanted back then. But a couple of months ago, we had our big blow up, and I thought I had lost d/d forever. Lucky for me, I have the most understanding husband in the world, and so it didn't come to that. But I never could be back into the whole every night spanking routine. But last night Bossman decided every night was going to happen. Starting last night. He wants me to be more submissive, and I want to be more submissive, so we are going back to everynight for awhile. He has determined that weekends will be off, unless something really needs to be addressed. He said that he may not spank every night, but he wants to see me assume the position, to show my submission, every night. So I agreed that we would try this for awhile and see what happens.
Will this work? Who knows? But I'm all for trying to please my husband.
Speaking of pleasing my husband. He is so amazing, I just have write down what he said yesterday. The last couple of days have been sort of tense for us. We weren't really connecting. But yesterday, he said we needed to stop being so distant from each other. He said that everyday that we do that, is another day that we've wasted not being loving to each other. Every day that goes by is another day that we can't get back and we've wasted it!
So people, don't waste another day being distant from your lover. If something happens to you tomorrow, you will have wasted a perfectly good day with your lover.
Life is too short.....go make love or get a spanking or something....
later.......
Book Tag
Ok, I was book tagged, and so I will give the answers, but I can't tag anyone cuz they've already been tagged...is this anything like getting picked last for the sports at school? LOL
Question 1: How many books do you own?
Answer: Lots and lots, and I like to trade out to others...but I have the whole collection of V.C Andrew books, starting of course with Flowers in the Attic. I also have the whole set of Diane Gabalon books, starting with Outlander. (BTW) In one of the Outlander books there was an excellent spanking scene, and references to childhood spankings.
Question 2: What was the last book I bought?
Answer: EASY, cuz I just bought it the other day, Midnight in the Garden of Good and of Evie, by Marianne Stillings.
Question 3: Last book I read
Answer: Same as question 2, I read it the same day I bought it.
Question 4: 5 books that mean something to me.
Answer: 1. The Bible....need I say more about that?
2. The Purpose Driven Life. This book has really changed my life.
3. The Outlander. This is one of the best love stories...I have read this book about 4 or 5 times!
4.Guess how much I love you. Ok, it's a childs book, but I love it so much and read it almost everyday to my son.
5. Alice in Wonderland. The reason this book means so much to me is because it's the very first chapter book I ever read as a kid. So I've always felt a certain connection with this book.
later.........
Question 1: How many books do you own?
Answer: Lots and lots, and I like to trade out to others...but I have the whole collection of V.C Andrew books, starting of course with Flowers in the Attic. I also have the whole set of Diane Gabalon books, starting with Outlander. (BTW) In one of the Outlander books there was an excellent spanking scene, and references to childhood spankings.
Question 2: What was the last book I bought?
Answer: EASY, cuz I just bought it the other day, Midnight in the Garden of Good and of Evie, by Marianne Stillings.
Question 3: Last book I read
Answer: Same as question 2, I read it the same day I bought it.
Question 4: 5 books that mean something to me.
Answer: 1. The Bible....need I say more about that?
2. The Purpose Driven Life. This book has really changed my life.
3. The Outlander. This is one of the best love stories...I have read this book about 4 or 5 times!
4.Guess how much I love you. Ok, it's a childs book, but I love it so much and read it almost everyday to my son.
5. Alice in Wonderland. The reason this book means so much to me is because it's the very first chapter book I ever read as a kid. So I've always felt a certain connection with this book.
later.........
Common courtesy...Does it still exist?
Ok, heres the question of the day, does anyone in the world still have common courtesy? Am I the only one that thinks that if your not going to show up when you said you would that you should call someone and let them know? Am I the only one that thinks that when you have plans with someone, that it is rude to leave them waiting?
This is the short story. My daughter was in a play. The last performance was Saturday afternoon. Bossman has an aunt and uncle that live about 3 hours away from us, and they said they were going to come and see my daughter in her play. (a little background here, we have traveled to their house at least 3 different times to see their daughter perform) All week long we spoke over the phone about the details. They reserved a hotel room for the night, and I spent HOURS cleaning my house. (ok, maybe not hours, but I really worked hard on my house.) I spent over an hour going over the directions to our house, to the school, to the hotel.
So day of the performance, we don't hear from them. We call their cell phone, no answer. The time to leave for the show comes, still we hear nothing. So I go to the play. I come home from the play. We make other plans for the evening, because like I said, we heard NOTHING.
So it's about 5 now, and the phone rings. It's my mother-in-law (MIL). She says, oh they made it to town, and they are at their hotel room resting. HUH??? They are in town? What happen, I ask? Oh, they stopped at a strawberry festival. WHAT? Oh yeah, and they want you guys to come over to my house tonight because they have christmas gifts for you. HUH? Christmas in May?
May I remind you, if your still following this story, we already made plans! So because my kids were really looking forward to seeing them, we cancelled our plans and we went to see them. But can I just say, I was PISSED! Somebody needed a spanking, and for once, it wasn't me!
I know, your wondering, like I am, why they didn't call. This question was never answered. I still don't know. But I'll tell you something, I won't be attending one of their functions for a very very long time!
So back to the question, what happened to common courtesy? Is it wrong of me to expect someone to call if they aren't showing up? Maybe I'm just expecting to much out of people. Yeah, that must be it. It's my fault for expecting too much out of people. ~sigh~ What is happening to this world?
~new subject~
I got spanked 3 times last week. This can be viewed as a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your perspective. Since I was the spankee, I would say, it was a bad thing at the time, but in the end, it was a very very good thing. Why do I feel so much love afterward? You would think it would be the other way around. You would think I would be upset afterward, but no, I am most happy after being taking care of. I feel so lucky that I have a husband that is willing to take care of me in this way.
~new subject~
Do you watch Desperate Housewives? Ok, Rex is into S&M. And he has talked Bree into participating. So the weird pharmacist snuck into the house, and found the "box" of goodies. And he tells Bree that her husband is telling everyone about their "inappropriate" behavior in the bedroom. Why did he have to call it inappropriate?
Why is S&M considered inappropriate? I think that what 2 consenting adults do in the bedroom, is between them, and I don't think it's inappropriate. I know there are alot of people that think my husband spanking me is inappropriate. But it's appropriate for us. Who decides what is appropriate, and what isn't? Who are "they"? They decide what is appropriate, they decide what is good and what isn't. THEY decide, and I want to know who THEY are and who left THEM in charge of the world?
Frankly, I'm really getting sick of THEM!!! Will somebody tell THEM that I think they need to mind their own business and stop telling us what is appropriate and what isn't.
Ok, I'll stop now, I'm done with my rant.
later..........
This is the short story. My daughter was in a play. The last performance was Saturday afternoon. Bossman has an aunt and uncle that live about 3 hours away from us, and they said they were going to come and see my daughter in her play. (a little background here, we have traveled to their house at least 3 different times to see their daughter perform) All week long we spoke over the phone about the details. They reserved a hotel room for the night, and I spent HOURS cleaning my house. (ok, maybe not hours, but I really worked hard on my house.) I spent over an hour going over the directions to our house, to the school, to the hotel.
So day of the performance, we don't hear from them. We call their cell phone, no answer. The time to leave for the show comes, still we hear nothing. So I go to the play. I come home from the play. We make other plans for the evening, because like I said, we heard NOTHING.
So it's about 5 now, and the phone rings. It's my mother-in-law (MIL). She says, oh they made it to town, and they are at their hotel room resting. HUH??? They are in town? What happen, I ask? Oh, they stopped at a strawberry festival. WHAT? Oh yeah, and they want you guys to come over to my house tonight because they have christmas gifts for you. HUH? Christmas in May?
May I remind you, if your still following this story, we already made plans! So because my kids were really looking forward to seeing them, we cancelled our plans and we went to see them. But can I just say, I was PISSED! Somebody needed a spanking, and for once, it wasn't me!
I know, your wondering, like I am, why they didn't call. This question was never answered. I still don't know. But I'll tell you something, I won't be attending one of their functions for a very very long time!
So back to the question, what happened to common courtesy? Is it wrong of me to expect someone to call if they aren't showing up? Maybe I'm just expecting to much out of people. Yeah, that must be it. It's my fault for expecting too much out of people. ~sigh~ What is happening to this world?
~new subject~
I got spanked 3 times last week. This can be viewed as a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your perspective. Since I was the spankee, I would say, it was a bad thing at the time, but in the end, it was a very very good thing. Why do I feel so much love afterward? You would think it would be the other way around. You would think I would be upset afterward, but no, I am most happy after being taking care of. I feel so lucky that I have a husband that is willing to take care of me in this way.
~new subject~
Do you watch Desperate Housewives? Ok, Rex is into S&M. And he has talked Bree into participating. So the weird pharmacist snuck into the house, and found the "box" of goodies. And he tells Bree that her husband is telling everyone about their "inappropriate" behavior in the bedroom. Why did he have to call it inappropriate?
Why is S&M considered inappropriate? I think that what 2 consenting adults do in the bedroom, is between them, and I don't think it's inappropriate. I know there are alot of people that think my husband spanking me is inappropriate. But it's appropriate for us. Who decides what is appropriate, and what isn't? Who are "they"? They decide what is appropriate, they decide what is good and what isn't. THEY decide, and I want to know who THEY are and who left THEM in charge of the world?
Frankly, I'm really getting sick of THEM!!! Will somebody tell THEM that I think they need to mind their own business and stop telling us what is appropriate and what isn't.
Ok, I'll stop now, I'm done with my rant.
later..........
Another year older
Ok, so I made it to another year! And just as I thought, the day wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Bossman treated me to some great sex in the morning, fixed me breakfast and pretty much treated me like a queen for the rest of the day. The wildchild is in a play at school, and my birthday night was opening night, so I got to see her act in her play. She was fabulous, as usual. She's incredibly talented, and I'm not just saying that because she's my child. She is talented in a lot of ways, and I'm just hoping she manages to figure out that she can use those talents and become something great. Now if only I could get her to study, I'd be a happy mama.
I screwed up Mothers day. I think I'm getting spanked for this one. See, we only have one car that works right now, so Bossman and I have to share. Well, I had to work on M-day and his mother lives near my work, so it was decided that I would drop off her gift on the way home from work. Now we had been to her house the day before, and forgotten to give her the gift, that was why I had to drop it off after work. Anyway, my mother-in-law, which we will now refer to as the MIL, has a thing about getting cards. I personally don't see a big deal with cards, I'd rather get a gift, (I know, how perfectly greedy of me) but she likes the mushy gooey cards. But we forgot the card. Bossman asked me to get a card for her, and I said I would, but I didn't. Now that may sound like something that is not a big deal, but of course, when I dropped off the gift, she made sure to make a comment about how it's been two years in a row now that we forgot to get her a card. (in case you haven't guessed I don't get along to well with the MIL, and that is a story for a different blog.) Anyway, the reason I didn't get the card, is because I didn't really feel like picking out a card that says a bunch of mushy gooey crap. So I didn't get a card. But in my defense, I did give her a great photo album with all kinds of pictures of the kids. But no card. Bossman was not happy. So when I got home and told him that I didn't get the card, I sort of had attitude about it.
Here's the dilemma. I said I would get the card. I didn't get the card. And when I got home, and told him, and he got upset with me, then I got attitude with him. I looked at him like he was nuts, and said, so your getting mad at meeee.....for not getting yourrrrrr mother a card??? Ok, that wasn't the smartest attitude to have with him. Ok, yes, maybe he should have planned ahead and gotten a card, but he didn't. And I did say I would get the card, and then I didn't. But then I had attitude, and then it ruined the rest of M-day for me. Because then he was in a bad mood, and I was in a bad mood.
Today I made another flippant remark about how he was crabby and he said, look, I'm over the part about not getting a card, but I was not happy with your attitude and that was the part that ruined everything. He said he wouldn't have been mad if it had just been the card, he said it was the attitude that made him upset.
So there you have it, I'll probably end up with a sore butt tomorrow, since I'm home and he's home and the kids will be at school. But you know what, I deserve it, because I ruined a perfectly good evening by having a stupid attitude over something that turned out to be not such a big deal. ~sigh~
I guess that's what d/d is all about.....
later........
I screwed up Mothers day. I think I'm getting spanked for this one. See, we only have one car that works right now, so Bossman and I have to share. Well, I had to work on M-day and his mother lives near my work, so it was decided that I would drop off her gift on the way home from work. Now we had been to her house the day before, and forgotten to give her the gift, that was why I had to drop it off after work. Anyway, my mother-in-law, which we will now refer to as the MIL, has a thing about getting cards. I personally don't see a big deal with cards, I'd rather get a gift, (I know, how perfectly greedy of me) but she likes the mushy gooey cards. But we forgot the card. Bossman asked me to get a card for her, and I said I would, but I didn't. Now that may sound like something that is not a big deal, but of course, when I dropped off the gift, she made sure to make a comment about how it's been two years in a row now that we forgot to get her a card. (in case you haven't guessed I don't get along to well with the MIL, and that is a story for a different blog.) Anyway, the reason I didn't get the card, is because I didn't really feel like picking out a card that says a bunch of mushy gooey crap. So I didn't get a card. But in my defense, I did give her a great photo album with all kinds of pictures of the kids. But no card. Bossman was not happy. So when I got home and told him that I didn't get the card, I sort of had attitude about it.
Here's the dilemma. I said I would get the card. I didn't get the card. And when I got home, and told him, and he got upset with me, then I got attitude with him. I looked at him like he was nuts, and said, so your getting mad at meeee.....for not getting yourrrrrr mother a card??? Ok, that wasn't the smartest attitude to have with him. Ok, yes, maybe he should have planned ahead and gotten a card, but he didn't. And I did say I would get the card, and then I didn't. But then I had attitude, and then it ruined the rest of M-day for me. Because then he was in a bad mood, and I was in a bad mood.
Today I made another flippant remark about how he was crabby and he said, look, I'm over the part about not getting a card, but I was not happy with your attitude and that was the part that ruined everything. He said he wouldn't have been mad if it had just been the card, he said it was the attitude that made him upset.
So there you have it, I'll probably end up with a sore butt tomorrow, since I'm home and he's home and the kids will be at school. But you know what, I deserve it, because I ruined a perfectly good evening by having a stupid attitude over something that turned out to be not such a big deal. ~sigh~
I guess that's what d/d is all about.....
later........
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