Thank you all.....

For the wonderful birthday wishes! I really did have a great birthday. I would have to say it was one of the best.

I hope all you mothers out there had a great mothers day. My little nephew turned ONE on mothers day, so we had a nice bbq, at the park, to celebrate both Mothers day and his birthday. It was really nice to spend time with the family and my Mom. We jumped in the jump house, played horseshoes and badminton. Really a fun time. I made a special slide show for my sister of the little man, that included just about all 12 months. It must have turned out great because she cried! Seeing how much he has changed has just amazed us all. It's shocking to me that a little person like that changes so much in such a short time. As you get older, you tend to forget things like that.

I guess I forgot to mention that Bossman bought a new toy.



This is the real picture of it. Isn't she pretty? She's used, but she's cute! I look great in it.

Actually, we had to buy Bossman a new car because we decided to give our other car to the wildchild for a graduation gift. Truth be told, she already drives it, so it's not like it's a big surprise or anything. BUT she thinks we are making her pay us for the car. NAAAHHHHH! We couldn't do that to her. We've decided to let her keep thinking that until graduation. We are going to buy her seat covers and new tires and stuff like that. Oh, did I mention, it too is a mustang? It's older and it's not a convertible, but who doesn't want to drive a mustang?

Ok, truth be told AGAIN, not me. I'm not a huge fan of mustangs. I mean, they are cute and all, but they are not that comfortable to ride in. Not a lot of leg room on the passenger side. The doors are heavy to open. And convertibles? Well, my hair likes to flip all over my face. The hats I try to wear always try and blow off and then I end up with hat hair. Convertible hair is NOT fun and really not that attractive. I will admit, it's nice when you're just cruising around town, but on the highway....not so fun.

I'd like to thank you all for your support regarding the MIL. Bossman did NOT call her for mothers day and that may seem harsh, but it's not. Not when you realize that the person that is your mother, talks bad about you to others. Not when you realize that the person that raised you can only think of herself and not others.

The FIL tried to make a half-hearted plea to his son to call his mother, but the FIL knows that my husband is right about most of this. Bossman and I are willing to admit that there are two sides to every story. BUT, why is it when the MIL is in the same room with 5 other people, she comes out of that room with a completely different story than the rest of the room? That's when you know, you can never win.

Bossman summed it up the best when he said..."It's like someone coming in and telling you your floor is dirty. That's all they say, they come in and say, wow, your floor is dirty. But, the next day, you turn around and tell everyone in the family that this person said, your floor is disgusting. It has bugs and fleas and old food and nasty, sticky stuff all over it."

Is it the same thing? I don't think so. But that's what the MIL hears.

I will say that as a mother I felt bad for her yesterday. I thought of how sad it would be if one of my children didn't want to speak to me again. I thought of how I would do anything in my power to make sure that that, never happens to me. I thought about how I could NEVER ever call one of my children evil and that I would NEVER try and turn my children against one another just to make them on MY side.

And then I thought about how sad it would be to end up being old and all alone.

Unfortunately, that's how it's turning out to be for the MIL.

So, any news on the spanking front? (or is that back?) Nothing new to report here. Time just hasn't been our friend when it comes to spanking. I was suppose to get a spanking for the little fender bender that I had. When I say little, I mean, at least 1200 dollars little. Or more. No, it wasn't in the new car. It actually happened when Bossman was out of town. See some goon parked a trailer behind my car and when I backed out of the garage...well....~sigh~ I think you get the picture now.

In any case, the spanking never happened. This is what happens to us and this is why it's so hard to carry on a traditional d/d lifestyle. Things happen that need taken care of but they just keep getting put off, until finally, it's too late. Spanking for it now really won't help the problem when you wait too long.

It's ok. I'm happy with what I get, when I can get it. So I won't complain too loud. At least not as loud as when I'm actually getting spanked. I complain REALLY loud when that's happening.

And that brings me to another thing. Why do I complain so much if this is what I want? It just seems so backward. Girl wants spanking, girl asks for spanking, boy finally spanks girl, girl complains and whines about it, boy spanks girl anyway, girl finally happy.

Seems a little twisted there, but oh well. At least nobody can accuse me of being normal........

40???

First we did this....


Then HE used this 40 times....





And gave me this....
Because we just got a new one of these (not for my birthday, actually for Bossman)......





We had to pick it up from the mechanic...

In the evening, I THOUGHT just the kids and Bossman and I were going to dinner....

Little did I know, my whole family was waiting at the restaurant for us!


My sister, very thoughtfully gave me these.....



The candle is battery operated so that my arthritic 40 year old hands don't have to use matches. (Isn't she thoughtful?)

And this.....



Well, if you look closely you'll see, it's an old lady cane. Complete with dirty old man repellent and a horn and rear view mirror.

As you can tell, I had the BEST birthday EVER! This is the first time I've ever had a surprise party! And I was surprised. We had a lot of fun and of course, I had to endure the singing while the whole restaurant looked on. My kids thought that was too funny! Anything that embarrasses mom is very amusing to them. I was glad to amuse!

Bossman did an amazing job planning my birthday. And did I mention he got my diamond earrings?

Oh yeah baby...it was a GREAT birthday!

Thanks for all the birthday wishes, I love you all and you all made me smile! Thanks for being a part of my best birthday!

Now I think I'll go eat some CAKE.......

prom and stuff

Prom went GREAT! The wildchild had a great time and all day yesterday kept lamenting that prom was over. She looked forward to it for so long and now that it's over, she can hardly believe it.

The bad news....the new love interest told my daughter, over text messaging, that he could no longer take her to the his prom. A girl that he knows just broke up with her boyfriend and so he feels he should take her.

There are so many things wrong with that last paragraph I hardly know where to begin.

1. How do you ask someone to prom and then back out?

2. Earlier in the day, he asked her what color her dress was, so he could make sure and match....how does someone go from asking that, to canceling out on the whole thing in a matter of hours?

3. Since when is it ok to break up with someone over a text message?

Anyway, the wildchild was heart broken but didn't want to worry about it because she had her own prom to worry about. Turns out she had a wonderful time. She got her nails done, her hair looked beautiful and she even donned fake eyelashes. She looked amazing. Bossman asked if I ever thought our daughter would look like a woman. I have to admit that I NEVER thought this time would come. It sneaks up on you.



I appreciate all your comments about the MIL. This has been hard, but as you all realize, the kids are the most important. She continues to tell others in the family about how horrible we are, things that we've said (lies). Fortunately, we all know how she is, so no one is really buying into her lies. I'm still torn on what I should do for graduation. Do I invite her to the graduation, but not the lunch after, or do I just not invite at all. The graduation is being held outside in a stadium and we could easily avoid her at that, so I'm leaning toward sending the announcement to her for that. Problem is, the rest of the family is coming to the house for lunch after. It will be weird to not have her here, but on the other hand, we are afraid that she won't behave herself and ruin everything. I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. But in the end, Bossman says, we are NOT inviting her to our home. He said we should leave it to the wildchild on whether she should be invited to the graduation. He doesn't want the wildchild to come back later and say that we didn't let her invite her grandma. BLAH! I don't KNOW anymore, I just want it to all go away!



Guess what? I'm 39.95. A bargain right? Tomorrow though, the price goes up to 40. Yep, it's the big 40. Seems strange to think that I'll now be in my 40's. But I've got a lot of friends that have assured me that 40 is the new 20! And you know something, I believe them. I think I'm looking forward to my 40's. So many changes will be happening. My kids are growing up, and I'll be able to spend more time with my husband. We are making more money, so we will be able to enjoy life without the financial worries that plagued the 30's. Although I have been dealing with a few health issues, Bossman and I are still pretty healthy and trying to get healthier. So, what's not to like about the 40's? I say, bring them on....I'm ready!


Well, D's having another treatment today. She's going well, so we are grateful for that. Hopefully, that tumor will shrink away to nothing.

So, I guess that's it. Life sure has it's good and bad, doesn't it?

How was your weekend? I would like to know, I'm nosy that way....

Theresa

I got you a cake.....





invited some friends....


and now it's.....






I sure hope you have the best birthday EVER!!! You deserve it!
I love you!

grace

I survived!

Bossman is home! The spider has been killed taken care of.

I got into a tinsey, tiny little bit of trouble while he was away. I accidentally backed into something and cracked our plastic bumper. Opps.

I didn't look behind me, and just started backing up. Again I say, opps!

Bossman isn't too pleased with me. I told him what happened and right away he said it deserved a spanking. I'd ask if you all agree, but I think I already know the answer to that question, so I'll not bother you all with that. I'll let you know if I weaseled my way out of this one or not.

We've gotten some news on D. She had a ct-scan and the tumor has gotten smaller. They will continue the treatments until the tumor doesn't respond anymore. Hopefully by then the tumor will be small enough to remove. If not, there will be a transplant. But we aren't thinking about that.

I have to admit, I've been holding out on all of you. We've had a big falling out with the MIL. BIG! HUGE!

It's very stressful and I'm not sure how we are suppose to deal with it. I've written a whole post on it, but it doesn't really explain it the way I want it to.

Somewhere along the way you have to look out for yourself and your family. Normal people look out for their children and would NEVER try and pit one child against the other. My MIL has done this for years. BUT, the straw that broke the camels back is when she brings my children into it. When she tells lies to our kids to make herself look like the victim, well, that is unacceptable.

Bossman finally had to tell his mother not to call our house anymore.

Thats right. We've had to tell her that we can't be in her life anymore. She is not allowed to call our kids anymore. (Well, we told her that, but we told the wildchild that if she wants to talk to her grandma she is more than welcome. But that is up to HER!)

Do you realize how hard this is for us? This is my husbands mother. We love her. We used to do EVERYTHING with the in-laws. Now we've had to cut her off.

It's not something we take lightly. We HATE this. It's been killing me. I feel so bad about it. How do you NOT feel guilty and upset about something like this?

I'm not sure how this will all work out. I'm not sure if she will even be invited to the graduation. At this point, I'm not sure of ANYTHING.

Well, I'm sure of one thing. My kids and MY family....they come first.

So, anybody care to share how THEY deal with people like this? Especially family? Because I've run out of answers.....

Lonely

Bossman is gone. That's right, you heard me....

Bossman is gone.

Oh, ok, so he'll be back tomorrow, but still.....

I miss him.

We are very rarely apart. I can probably count on one hand the times that we've had to be apart for more than 24 hours.

He left yesterday. Won't be home until Wed.

How am I suppose to get any sleep? He's not here. What if there is a scary noise, like there was last night? Who's gonna get up and see if the boogie man is here?

Who is going to take the trash cans out to the sidewalk tomorrow?

More importantly, who's going to kill the scary spider that is up on the wall giving me a hairy eyeball and clearing waiting for me to let my guard down so he can attack me at any given moment?

Anyway, I'm bored. So, if you have AIM and want to chat with me today, I just downloaded it. I let Bossman take my baby laptop with him and we downloaded the chat program so...well...you know, so we can CHAT!

So, if you want to chat, have AIM, look me up. My screen name is my e-mail address.

cal_angel39@hotmail.com

And, if you're not busy, could you come by and kill this spider???

Prom dress

Prom is next Saturday. Actually, my daughter is going to 2 proms. I KNOW, Ms Popularity. This first prom is at her high school. She's going with a friend. Actually a whole group of friends. The second prom she is going with her latest love interest who goes to a different school. He's the captain of the football team. He went to her school last year, that is how they met. But they just started hanging out last month. I think a friend re-introduced them. Since she seems to have a new "love" interest every month, we'll see how long this one lasts.

~sigh~

Anyway, without further ado, I've found a pic of her dress online and I also took a couple of pics of her in it. The pics of her are not that great, I'm thinking I'm going to have to take the pics of the actual prom outside because the inside pics didn't turn out so well.

So, Theresa? What do you think?

day by day

Things change day by day around here.

I was planning a big graduation party, but graduation is on a Friday and I was thinking nobody (except family) would be there. So then I was thinking of having it on Saturday or Sunday. The wildchild has different ideas. She has plans, with people, other than her family! Typical teen.

So, I am actually happy about this because really, who wants to plan a big party anyway?

So we will have a family thing at the house after the graduation and leave it at that. Easy enough for me.

Prom plans are going well. The dress is beautiful. We got a really nice necklace and earrings to match. We are still working on shoes. My girl, she's picky!

Also, my foot is feeling better! I've been taking my nephew out for walks everyday and I went back to the gym and walked on the treadmill again. It still doesn't hurt, so that's a good thing. I just found out that there are pilate videos on my cable ONDemand that I can watch for free! Thanks to Amber! *waves to Amber* I'm going to give that a try.

As for spanking...we've had some of that TOO! Not as much as I'd like, but we've been fitting it in when we can. The wooden spoon got some work in and we haven't seen that one in a while. I think I liked it better in the closet, but I think Bossman had a different feeling. I think he liked it.

So, anything new in your neck of the woods? Tell me something interesting!

I can't do it

This meme was so fun, but I just can't leave it without explanation.

Actually, I just needed a post today, so I thought explaining the meme would be fun!

Taken a picture naked? Yes (This actually happened around christmas time with Bossman and we had so much fun taking naked pics in front of the fire. Of course this was immediately followed by a deleting session....LOL)

Made money illegally? No
Had a one night stand? No
Been in a fist fight? No
Slept with your best friend? Yes (Need I say it was with Bossman???)

Had sex in a public place? yes (we once made love in the car, in the desert, not exactly in public, but we were on a dirt road, and someone COULD of driven by!!!)

Ditched work to have sex? Yes (Who hasn't been late or called in sick to make love?)

Slept with a member of the same sex? yes (This does say SLEPT, right? I slept with my daughter!)

Seen someone die? no
Ran from the police? No
Woke up somewhere and not remember how you got there? no
Worn your partners unmentionables? yes (We've played around with each others clothes)
Fallen asleep at work? Yes (Who doesn't?)

Used toys in the bedroom? Yes (Uh, if your a spanker or spankee, you've GOT to have toys....!)
Ran a red light? Yes (Opps, it happened!)

Been fired? No
Been in a car accident? Yes (the wildchild was 3 months old and I totaled Bossmans truck. Luckily no one was hurt!)

Pole danced or done a striptease? yes (By know you realize that Bossman is a lucky lucky man!)

Loved someone you shouldn't? no
Sang karaoke? yes (We LOVE karaoke in our house)
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes (Just the other day, I went to the gym and I told myself I would NEVER go to the gym!)

Laughed so hard you peed your pants? Yes (If you haven't, you should, it's totally worth it!)

Caught someone having sex? no
Kissed a perfect stranger? no (in reality, I should have said yes, for haven't we all kissed someone we didn't know, even our partners, when we were first going out?)

Shaved your partner? Yes (Again, Bossman, lucky!)

Given your private parts a nickname? Yes (His is called Dickerballs, and mine are called boobernipples....LOL)
Ever gone in public without underwear? Yes (Bossman has made me leave panties at home after a spanking. But I WAS wearing pants...LOL)

Had sex on a roof top? No
Played chicken? no
Mooned/flashed someone? Yes (I moon Bossman all the time)

Do you sleep naked? no (Ok, I HAVE before, but not usually, I don't like it. I mean really, what if there is a fire???)

Blacked out from drinking? No (Since I don't drink, this is not a problem for me)

Felt like killing someone? Yes (Who hasn't?)

Had sex more than 5 times in one day? no (but I wish)

Been with someone because they were in a band? Yes (Bossman was in a band when we first started dating)

Taken 10 shots of liquor in a day? No (again, no drinking)

Shot a gun? Yes (not a very good shot)

Gone outside naked? Yes (remember the great trampoline incident of last summer? I guess that could count as sex in a public place too! LOL)

This was much more fun with the explanations. Isn't it fun to learn about others??? I love finding out about people. I hope you enjoyed finding out about me. Although, the one word memes made me seem WAY more exciting than I really am....LOL

meme

This one word meme looked fun so I thought I'd give it a go.


Taken a picture naked? Yes
Made money illegally? No
Had a one night stand? No
Been in a fist fight? No
Slept with your best friend? Yes
Had sex in a public place? yes
Ditched work to have sex? Yes
Slept with a member of the same sex? yes
Seen someone die? no
Ran from the police? No
Woke up somewhere and not remember how you got there? no
Worn your partners unmentionables? yes
Fallen asleep at work? Yes
Used toys in the bedroom? Yes
Ran a red light? Yes
Been fired? No
Been in a car accident? Yes
Pole danced or done a striptease? yes
Loved someone you shouldn't? no
Sang karaoke? yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
Laughed so hard you peed your pants? Yes
Caught someone having sex? no
Kissed a perfect stranger? no
Shaved your partner? Yes
Given your private parts a nickname? Yes
Ever gone in public without underwear? Yes
Had sex on a roof top? No
Played chicken? no
Mooned/flashed someone? Yes
Do you sleep naked? no
Blacked out from drinking? No
Felt like killing someone? Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? no
Been with someone because they were in a band? Yes
Taken 10 shots of liquor in a day? No
Shot a gun? Yes
Gone outside naked? Yes

The heart beats on

Well, I took a chance and went to the Y. Bossman called and told us it wasn't crowded and asked if I'd come. I told him I wasn't coming, but the wildchild was going to go. At the last minute I decided to surprise Bossman and show up with the wildchild. Of course, he was on a treadmill that was facing the window and saw us drive by, so there wasn't much of a surprise.

I decided to just walk on the treadmill. They are the fancy ones that will show your heart rate as you walk. I monitored mine and it was fine. Up to about 130 when I was going my fastest and down to 88 when I was done. NICE! I didn't have a heart attack, so that was a good thing. I got going pretty fast and ended up walking about 2 miles in about 45 minutes. Not bad for a beginner.

Now the bad news, I hurt my foot. Actually, my foot is hurting me! I woke up the next day and could barely move my left foot. You know that bone that sticks out on your heel, the back of your heel? That HURTS!

I've had this problem before. It takes a good 2 weeks before it gets better. I decided I wanted to go to the doc and make sure because I was bummed. I really wanted to walk some more. It was fun and I felt good afterward. Bossman made sure and get in plenty of "I told you so's".

I went to the doc and he said to rest it for 2 weeks. So, I now have a legitimate excuse for not exercising. And although you'd think I'd be happy about that, I'm NOT!

I just hope this doesn't turn out to be a chronic thing. I really would like to continue this stuff and having my foot hurt is not good. I'm sure there are some things I could do that don't involve my foot, but walking is where I'm most comfortable. I guess I'm going to have to step out of my comfort zone if I plan on getting into shape.

I would really like to lose some weight. Bossman and I are taking a vacation this summer, (without kids...whoo hoo) and I would like to look fairly decent in a pair of shorts. Plus this vacation will probably involve some walking. My foot cannot hurt!

So, I've got about 3 months until vacation, so my foot better behave itself because I've got to get moving!!!!!!

Is this what getting old is all about? Cuz I don't like it....not ONE bit!

Can you believe it?

With all the excitement of going to D's house for Spring Break, I forgot a momentous occasion.

On March 30, my blog turned 4!!!!

Hooray for me! Hooray for my blog.

Seriously, I never thought I would keep up a blog for such a long time. I thought for sure I would get bored and give it up. Ok, there were some very boring parts, but for the most part, I've enjoyed having this small piece of web space to call my very own.

I've been lucky. I haven't caused much controversy I've made loads of friends and I've got nice little record of what I've been up to for the last 4 years.

I've gone back and read some of my posts. Four years ago, my son was 5, my daughter was in 8th grade. I thought that turning 36 made me old, HA!

2004 saw me mourning the death of my grandmother. My MIL was still a christian and I wasn't sure if my daughter was going to pass on to high school.

And guess what? I survived it! Time has marched on and taken me with it.

Anyway, thanks for the memories dear Blog! Most importantly, thanks for sending me such wonderful friends. It's been such a treat to meet such great people through this blog and I am truly blessed to call you all friends. We may not have met face to face, but I am honored that you have shared a little bit of yourself with me.

So, here's to my Blog! Long may she live!

HUGS!
grace

The worst thing EVER!

Yesterday at 12 noon, my time, the cable/internet went out. It did not come back on until 8 this morning.

GAH! Do you KNOW how hard it is to live without tv and computer???? It was HORRIBLE. I don't even know how I survived! I have prepared for every natural disaster. I have extra water. I have extra food. I keep gas in my car. I have a first aid kit. I have extra clothes, blankets. BUT nobody, NOBODY talks about what happens when you can't watch tv or use the internet. NOBODY!

And, not only that, but last night was the first night that Desperate Housewives came back on. I had to MISS one of my favorite shows.

I just sat in front of my tv with a rag covering my forehead, waiting and waiting. The tv even said, this channel will be available in a moment. A MOMENT people! I waited for HOURS!

~sigh~

I've recovered somewhat. I'm sitting in front of the tv and I'm on the computer and my head doesn't hurt as much anymore. I've heard that I will be able to watch my show on the computer, so all is not lost. Life is much better now!

I have another small problem. My daughter feels the need to go to her prom. I don't know where she got it in her head that I was allowing her to grow up. Some where along the way, she grew up. What the heck? Who authorized this? I'm going to write a stern letter to the management and get this taken care of immediately.

In the mean time.... I have to buy her a prom dress. My daughter thinks she's related to the Trumps. She wants a 200 dollar dress. It could have been worse. Some of the dresses were 4 and 5 hundred. 2 hundred, that's chump change...right?

Luckily, she's had some help from family and friends. She's been working for a lady in our church once a week and the lady gave her 100 toward her dress. How nice is that???

But, there is still shoes, and jewelery and, and, and.....

Ok, just breathe.....head between my knees and BREATHE!!!!

Oh and lookie, lookie at the counter. Only 1 month and 3 weeks until graduation. That means I have to pay for a party, a new dress, and a gift! Oh yeah, a gift. She wants a car.....who doesn't? I thinking of getting her a lap top. What did you get your graduate for graduation? Give me ideas!!! HELP! Actually, she'll be lucky if I even make it to the graduation. I'll be nothing but a big puddly mess.

I better get on that letter to the management...

bits and pieces

I'd like to thank you all for your wonderful English lessons. Although I liked English class in high school, I seem to have forgotten some of it in my old age.

D is doing better. I don't think she fully realized the seriousness of her illness. She saw the surgeon on Monday and was upset because he informed her she could get surgery right now because the tumor is too big. I don't know if I mentioned this, but her tumor is 12cm. That's HUGE. If she got it out now, she'd only have 30 percent of her liver left and she would go into liver failure. See, I sort of knew that, or assumed that, but I don't think it quite sank in for her. I tried to cheer her up the best I could and she is still being very positive. I mean, the chemo WILL shrink the tumor. As a matter of fact the chemo WILL make the tumor disappear...right?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, lets talk about the pregnant man. Let me say this first. I don't have a problem with a girl becoming a boy or vice versa. But, this "girl" became a boy and NOW, he wants a baby? So he's using girl parts to do that? This troubles me. And now I'm going to tell you why....(not that you asked, but it's my blog and all, so there.)

First of all, pick a team for god's sake! How can you be a girl and a boy? I mean, I KNOW there are people that have both parts, but PLEASE! If you are going to commit to one sex then for goodness sakes, COMMIT already. Don't decide to be a boy and then decide to be pregnant. It's NOT natural. IF you naturally feel like you're a boy, regardless of how you were born, then don't become PREGNANT! Sorry, doesn't work for me. And what's with all the publicity? Is it really news worthy that someone who was a girl, became a boy and now is having a baby? Does this make a man pregnant? NO! He was a girl already. Personally I'm sick of hearing about it.

This is all my opinion, so therefore, don't be hating if you don't agree...k?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bossman signed us up for the YMCA. (Why do I have an urge to sing and wave my arms in letter formation?) This sounds like a great way to get in shape right?

I haven't been yet. I have great fear.

Remember when I got sick? Check the archives in November 2006 for the complete story. (see how lazy I am? I can't even bother to find the link for you) Anyway, I still have a tiny little problem with my heart. It likes to beat fast.

Most of the time, it's fine. But sometimes it races for no reason. Sometimes, it just likes to beat in the 100 range.

I am so worried that I'm going to have a heart attack that I don't like to exert myself.

So, I watch my family go to the Y and I stay home, on my fat butt, and worry about my heart.

Listen, I've gone to the doc. He gives me pills. And then....he gives me pills to combat the side-effects of the first pills, and then....he gives me more pills...

I think you are getting the point.

And in case you don't remember....I have an HMO. In case you don't know about the HMO, lets just say this. Going to another doc, not as easy as it sounds.

So, I'm going to the doc for the annual pap at the end of the month (fun, fun, fun). I've decided to tell him that I MUST have a stress test. PLEASE! Give me some peace of mind!

Listen, my mind tells me that my heart is ok. I've had LOTS of ekg's. I've had an echo-cardiogram. My heart looked fine. So, I don't think I'm going to die any time soon, but still....I want PROOF. Is that too much to ask?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

My renewed obsession? The Sims! Oh how I love playing God! So much fun. Anyone else like the Sims?

Well, this post has clearly showed you what a boring life I lead. I watch WAY too much TV. (thanks DVR) And I spend too much time playing on my laptop.

It's not much of a life, but it's MY life.

Life goes on

Life goes on around here.

D is doing ok. She had a lot of pain last week, but she's doing much better now. The MIL is crazy as usual...calling D's doctor when D didn't answer the phone one day. ~shakes head and rolls eyes~

Yesterday left me and Bossman alone. (or is it Bossman and I?)

Anyway, he gave me a very nice spanking. The hairbrush was used with vigor. I'm still feeling some of the after-effects today.

I've had my pity party and I'm moving on now. I just needed a few days to sit around, eat cheetos and feel sorry for myself. Then I watch Oprah's Big Give and realize life can be so much worse.

So, enough about me...what's going on in your world?

mental crash

I think I've mentally crashed. I am in no mood for anything. I'm not PMSing, so I know it's not that, but I'm not really sure what it is.

I think all of the drama is starting to take it's toll. I haven't really accepted the way things are now. Constant worry over what will happen with D, constant worry over the MIL are weighing heavy on my mind.

I would like to go back to the Friday before Easter. My biggest problem was trying to figure out what to put in wildchilds Easter basket. As Bossman and I are wandering the mall together, trying to figure out what is appropriate for a 17 year old girl and making sure that it equals the amount we've purchases for the little man, (we have to be fair, they WILL call us on it if we are not!) we got the call that D was in the hospital. I think back to the moments before the call.

I want that moment back. That was the moment when the only thing that I was worried about (other than the Easter stuff) was whether the MIL was going to make an appearance a the Easter dinner and did m*slims even celebrate the holiday?

One moment. One phone call later...

Now I can't stop thinking about death and dying. What about my kids? What if they get some horrible thing? What if they get hit by a car? What if Bossman gets in a car accident? What if...what if....what if?

And to top off the misery, I've been drawn to blogs about death and dying. I can't seem to stop clicking on those blogs and reading about the experience these people went through.

It's morose really. Someone please just shut off my mind. I can't stand the thinking any more!

You don't have to say all the things that people say...

It will be all right...

We can't think of the "what if's".

Life goes on....right?

It's true. Life does go on. After the phone call, we continued shopping. We went to church, we celebrated Easter. We lived our lives, just as we always do.

But I'm wallowing in the things I know I can't change. The things I don't know will even happen. The things that have happened to others.

And I wonder....

What is the purpose of it all?

as promised

After the best spring break EVER, we got home.

Yay home!

Sunday was pretty much a lazy day. I wanted nothing more but to sit on my lazy butt and read blogs and do NOTHING!

The kids had other plans.

As long as those plans didn't involve me...I didn't care.

So the kids found things to do. Friends to hang with, video games to play, stuff of that nature.

Which left me and Bossman.....

alone.

So, since it had been a very long week and an even longer time since we had even thought about spanking....

A spanking was had.

Don't let anyone fool you into thinking that a hand cannot be painful. I'm here to inform you that a hand, Bossmans hand in particular, can be quite painful.

After a long bout with his hand, we moved to the bath brush.

Not sure why this was necessary. Could be because I wasn't really listening. Come on! Who listens when they are getting their butt whacked? So what if I didn't quite keep my hands behind my back.

When I thought the end was near, I was relieved. Great spanking, just the right amount of sting, just enough to get my engines running.

So, why the need to stand in the corner? What purpose is to be had? And why, for the love of spanking, do I need to keep my hands behind my back?

Maybe this was because he was getting ready to use the belt.

I still blame all of you for this travesty in my life. It was all of you that made me express an interest in the belt. Who in their right mind likes being spanked with the belt, besides you all?

ME, that's who!

Monday came. With Monday came piles and piles of laundry...my favorite! Bossman informed me that he would like the house straightened up and the laundry done.

Guess what I did Monday?

I sat on the sofa and blogged and watched a lot of stuff that I had recorded.

In my defense, the DVR was FULL. I needed to watch all that stuff before things started getting lost.

But, Bossman didn't quite see it that way.

Nope, he wasn't a very happy camper when he came home and I hadn't done even ONE load of laundry.

The kids were home. So I wasn't so worried that I would get a bad spanking.

Guess what? He took me in the bedroom, pulled me over his knee, and used the BS, right where it counted.

OUCH!

My buns were still sensitive after Sundays fun, so those whacks with the BS, they hurt. And I was trying hard to be quiet. I didn't want the children to hear.

Needless to say, I got the point. I did 3 loads of laundry yesterday. Sure, I could have done more, but I was busy. I mean, really, I typed out those long posts to all of you. Surely that was more important.

Bossman let me get away with it for now, but I'm suppose to make sure and get the laundry done today.

Guess this means I should be doing laundry right about now.

~sigh~

But, this is so much more fun!

2 posts in one day???

I forgot to mention a couple of things in yesterdays post. I got so caught up in the story that I neglected to mention how the procedure went on Monday.

Everything went fine, there wasn't much pain and she seems in good spirits. Since she didn't have to worry to much about the MIL, she was able to relax and things look really good.

They put the chemo straight into the tumor so there shouldn't be many side-effect. She shouldn't lose her hair or anything. The tumor is feeding off of two main arteries so next month they will probably put some chemo in the other main artery.

I was going to carry on with the story, but I decided to make it short and sweet. It boils down to....

As soon as the door closed and we left, the MIL started yelling and screaming and saying all kinds of horrible things about Bossman. She tried to turn D against her own brother during this time of need. Can anyone say Selfish?

D, bless her soul, stood her ground, yelled right back at her mother and told her to leave.

After an hour or so, after the slaveboy FIL loaded the car, HE went in to say goodbye. D went down to talk to her mother and it was a decent conversation, so it didn't end hateful, at least on D's end.

We probably won't be speaking to the MIL for a long time. At least that is what I'm hoping. We are the kind of people though, that if the MIL was to call and say she was dying, we would be there.

Now, for a short recap on how the MIL handled this entire situation.

1. On the day D found out she had cancer, her mother called her bawling about how the whole family hates her.

2. Same day, she then called D to tell her why she and the FIL were having so many financial difficulties. (Blamed it on the FIL)

I could go on, but I think you get the picture. This is why we went to Vegas. To try and keep the insanity to a minimum. We felt bad that D was left to handle the MIL, but she said she knew it would happen sooner or later and she's just glad that she LEFT!

So there you have it. See why I called the first post selfish? She is undeniably the most selfish, self-centered person I know.

Well, I've typed myself out. I can't think about the MIL anymore.

Look for uplifting posts...

I got a spanking yesterday.....hehehehehe!

the continuing saga

Saturday started as most Saturdays....we didn't want to get up. But D, she has a horse and she wanted us all to go out and see her horse. (Beautiful BTW) Bossman and I were laying on the air mattress, (Yes, we had to sleep on an air mattress.) Bossman and I are fairly BIG people. Not big fat, but just big, big. I'm 5'10 he's 6'4, you do the math. You can imagine an air mattress isn't exactly comfortable for us. So, Bossman is lamenting about having one more night on the dreaded mattress. I suggest we leave that night instead. We were planning on leaving early in the morning anyway. We are all more night people than morning people anyway, and frankly, having a whole day to rest before starting the week was sounding like a really good idea anyway.

So, we decided to leave that night, if Bossman feels up to the drive. (It's over a 6 hour drive home)

We get up to start the day. We don't really mention that we are leaving that night, we hadn't fully decided for sure if this was what we were going to do, really we were just going to play it by ear.

Before I carry this story further, I would like to mention that we have little codes that we use for the MIL. Code green, means she's in a good mood. Code yellow means she's starting to get cranky, or she's bringing up something that we are uncomfortable with, or basically just a warning that things could spiral out of control. Code red....well that pretty much means danger, danger, danger, get out of the way, the MIL is about to blow...

Back to the story. D asks if we can read some Bible verses before we head to the horses. Already, I'm thinking this is going to be code yellow. Anytime we go religion, I KNOW the MIL will say something that makes us all uncomfortable.

But we all sit down and read some texts. Things are going ok until we read one about anger. My son, earlier in the morning, has snapped at me when I asked him a question. So when the verse on anger was read, I told my son he should pay attention. Sheepishly, he agreed that he had snapped at me. The MIL, she said that I should single my son out, that we ALL should heed this verse. Being the nice person I am, I didn't comment, I just let it pass. As we continued reading, she brought up different things that the koran says. We all just stare at her, like deer caught in the headlights.

Doesn't she notice? How could she not notice that whenever she brings that stuff up, we change the subject and look away? But, she INSISTS on letting us know what the koran says. My BIL, taps my shoulder, and I whisper to him, code yellow.

Luckily, we got out of the whole thing with just a code yellow. Now, it's time to get ready for the horse. D and her hubby leave first because they have an errand to run. We are left home with the in-laws. We are sitting there, getting ready to leave when the MIL walks past the kitchen bar and notices the toilet paper that Bossman and the BIL bought the night before. The MIL asks the FIL if HE bought that paper. Bossman tells her he bought it. She then looks at the FIL and says, "I can't use that kind of paper, we will have to go buy some different kind."

Needless to say, she didn't say it in a very nice tone. Bossman was not happy with that comment because we had been buying groceries all week and SHE and the FIL came with NO money so they couldn't really contribute anything.

I understand that you may not like a certain type of TP. BUT, if we are all trying to live together and get along together, you would think that your BUTT will survive with crappy paper. (Although, the paper was NOT crappy!)

By now, I realize we are spiraling into a code red. I'm thinking we just need to get OUT of the house before things erupt.

We didn't make it.

As we are leaving, Bossman goes out to the garage to get a bottle of water. We had bought a 24 pack of bottled water to drink and it was the same brand that SHE had bought earlier in the week. SHE had bought a 12 pack. That pack had not been opened yet. We were all drinking the 24 pack. It's called sharing. I learned that in kindergarten.

As Bossman is going out to the garage, the MIL says, in a very hateful tone, THESE are my waters, I CAN'T drink the other kind of water. (see, there was another brand in the fridge also.)

We are talking about WATER.

See, the problem is, the MIL, she has her slave boy go in and get her water for her, so she herself had never stepped into the garage so see what was going on in there. She didn't realize that HER water was unopened. She didn't KNOW that she was, in fact, drinking OUR water. She just assumed we were drinking ALL her water and apparently she can't drink other water....

In our minds, we are all sharing everything. We didn't buy stuff just for us. When we went to the store, it was for everyone.

So, when she hatefully said that about the water, THAT, that was the straw that broke the camels back. Bossman could NOT keep quiet a moment longer. CODE RED, people, code red, everyone abandon ship!!!!

Bossman says, "MOM, that is very selfish and hateful." Then he went out, got some water and on his way out the front door he said, "I better leave before I say something I'll regret."

That's it! That's all he said. And then he left.

I was still in the house, trying to get the little man to get his shoes on. ACK!

So, I tell the little man to hurry up and I'll meet him in the car. As I walk out the door, she says, "someone needs to go back and read those verses about anger."

OH. MY. GOD!

So lets recap. She needs special toilet paper and she needs special water and she CAN'T share with the rest of us! But we didn't drink her water!

Ok, we leave. We are laughing about it in the car and I call D to tell her that it was a code red so she can be prepared for a crabby, cranky m*slim out at the horse.

We get out to the horse and everything is fine. We don't say much to her and she doesn't say much to us.

We leave and head out to the Vegas strip. They are leaving to go back home for lunch. D calls us and tells us that she's decided to tell her mom to go home. By this time, I've already mentioned to D that we were thinking of leaving that night. Anyway, she decided that she can't take her mom anymore. You NEVER know if she's going to be in a good mood or bad. You NEVER know if she's going to snap in a moments notice. You NEVER know what will pop out of this womans mouth at any given moment and it's tiresome to walk on egg shells around her.

Besides, D needs peace and quiet. She needs to keep her blood pressure good and she can't get sick or she doesn't get the procedure done on Monday.

We go home a couple of hours later. We want to relax before we drive home and we promised D that we would take her car for a detail before we go.

So we get back, and the MIL sits down with us to talk about some internet m*slim friend that she talked to on the phone. She doesn't say a word about the incident that happened earlier. Good for us, but we don't really feel interested, so we go outside to watch the kids swim. Not rude like, mind you...just convenient.

So, everything is going fine, and THEN we start packing up to leave. We haven't told the MIL yet. So while we are packing up, I happen to be in the office talking to D and her hubby. I hear some hateful words being exchanged and I'm not sure who SHE is talking to so I peek around the corner, but they are gone.

I go upstairs to pack and my daughter yanks me into the bathroom. "MOM, Grandma was SO mean to me!"

Apparently, the MIL noticed we were packing up, so she asks the wildchild why we are leaving. The wildchild tells her, she doesn't know, my parents decided to leave tonight instead of tomorrow morning. The MIL's response?

"Wildchild, I'm not STUPID! You should try and remember that!"

Uh...what?

That was the hateful words I heard earlier.

This is when I realize, the MIL thinks we are leaving because of the earlier fuss. Oh well, I'm not to concerned. I tell the wildchild not to worry about it, just keep packing and lets get the hell out of Dodge.

Now, before we leave, we still have to give the FIL his birthday card. We all just gave him money. It's easy and he can buy what he wants, as long as the MIL doesn't take it from him....LOL

We are just about packed up when the FIL states that he needs to go to the store for the MIL. Probably to get the good tp and water...HA

Bossman tells him that we need to give him his card first. The MIL comes downstairs looking all sulky and pouty and CRABBY! She seats herself in the recliner and doesn't say a word.

We give him his card and then we say goodbye to him. Then he leaves to run his errands like the good errand boy that he is.

Now it's time to say goodbye. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Rock, I could just ignore the MIL and leave with my head still intact. Hard place, I could say goodbye, but risk being bawled out.

So, I tell the children to say goodbye to the MIL and then I go over to say goodbye and she give me the freaking cold shoulder! BAH! I don't even care, I just want to get OUT! You could cut the tension with a knife.

We say goodbye to D, giving her lots of hugs and kisses. Then we leave. Bossman says goodbye to his mother. She gives him the cold shoulder also...

So, we head off to happier places. We are happy to be going home, sleeping in our own bed.

We are sad to leave D and leaving her with the MIL is never a good thing, but really, what choice did we have. Plus, I was pretty sure that she was going to ask her to go home the next day.

Half way home...D calls....it's not code yellow, it's not even code red....it's full blown code rainbow!

And that is how I'll leave it for today. Unfortunately poor D had to bear the brunt of the MILS wrath! But I will say this....the MIL left that night for home.

selfish

I know I talk a lot about my MIL. I've told you all how she became m*slim after spending all of her life living a strict christian life. So, lets just put that aside, for now.

Lets just talk a minute about cancer. How would you react if your daughter, father, husband, whomever you love, found out they have cancer? How would a normal person react to such news?

Do you let go of the small stuff? All the little family fusses? I'm not talking about big family drama. I'm not talking about abuse, or things of that nature. I'm really talking about the little things. You said this about me, I said this about you...you know, stupid little things.

I believe that when you are faced with life and death, little stuff like that holds no meaning. Why would you hold on to the little crap like that when you don't even know what the future holds? Frankly, we shouldn't hold on to that kind of thing even if we aren't dying. But, we are human and petty stuff gets in the way sometimes.

I get that.

On to the real subject. The m*slim MIL made the trip unpleasant and caused undue stress on the entire family.

I take that back. Most of the trip, we stayed as far away from her as possible and we had a good time, despite the cancer. We tried our hardest to do what we could for D, and we just wanted to enjoy our time with her before treatments begin.

You would think that would keep us out of trouble with the m*slim MIL.

You would think.

Instead, after much tongue biting and avoidance, the big blow-up was bound to happen.

And it did...

Friday was the FIL's birthday. Let me just mention now that my FIL is the resident slave to the MIL. This man is such a mouse that I would NEVER, ever be able to have a husband that wimpy. He is a wonderful man. He is funny, smart and has a very cheerful personality. But the MIL treats him like a whipped slave boy. AND,he puts up with it. I can't handle that. It's such a poor example to set for my children. I just makes me CRAZY.

Back to the story, so Friday is the FIL's birthday. D had a doctors appointment. After the appointment on Thursday, D did NOT want her mother going to this appointment. So Bossman said that he would go with her and her husband to the appointment. They didn't TELL the MIL she couldn't go, but once she found out the Bossman was going, she decided she didn't want to go. So, the appointment was at noon. They left. They didn't come home to after 3. They stopped to run some errands after the appointment. After this, the plan was to take the FIL out for some fun around Vegas. When I say fun, I really mean, he wanted to go to a knife store to get a spring for his swiss army knife and he wanted to go to a ham radio store to look for a new antenna and he wanted to go the Bass Pro sporting good store.

Needless to say, I wanted to stay home. So, Bossman and the little man were going to take him out. They thought that would be a fun bonding time for the Grandpa, Son and Grandson.

Sounds great right?

They left around 3:30. They would be gone a couple of hours. It's Vegas people, it takes 45 minutes just to get across town. Add that to getting lost a couple of times and you've got yourself a long time gone.

Meanwhile I took the MIL m*slim out to buy a birthday card for her husband. Fun times were had by all. She wore her hijab scarf, and since this was the first time I've been in public with her wearing her thingie, it was quite a treat. Ever seen a pasty white m*slim with blonde hair? Ok, maybe not the hair, but still pasty white? It makes for an interesting sight.

Anywhoo, we get home and we are waiting around for the boys to come home. D is taking a nap and the plan was to have a little party for the birthday boy after dinner. Like I said, the boys took some time. After about an hour of being home, the MIL comes down the stairs and wants to know if I've heard from the boys. I said they would be home in 30 minutes or so. She yells that she is REALLY mad at her husband now. HE was suppose to spend time alone with her on HIS birthday. How DARE he spend a couple of hours with his son and grandson.

Then she disappeared in a puff of smoke to her room.

The boys came home. The MIL, she never made a reappearance. We decided to wait until Saturday for cake.

Turns out, the MIL spent the rest of her night crying in her pillow about how unfair life really is. Not because her daughter has cancer, but because her husband was out too long with his son.

Fun, fun times.

Remember, the boys didn't leave until 3:30. She and the FIL did NOTHING until that time. Why didn't they go out earlier, you ask? Good question. I'll have to ask her sometime.

Although, right now, she isn't speaking to us.

Bet you want to know why. That happened the next day. Saturday, the day the shit hit the fan. The day we decide we better come home before there were murder /suicides.

I try telling that fun story tomorrow.

But for now, let me leave you with an update on D. She is having the chemo put directly into the tumor today. They are hoping to shrink the tumor and maybe even make it disappear completely. Surgery is a long way off. After this treatment they won't even check it for a month. Then depending on how the treatment is working, they may do another. They say she will probably be able to carry on with life as normally as possible for a while. So right now, only time will tell.

Best case scenario, the tumor shrinks to nothing and life goes on. Worst case, it doesn't work at all and she has a liver transplant.

So, we concentrate on the best case and we have faith that the treatment will work.

I KNOW it will work.

Did you know that I've know D since she was 12?

yep. It's going to work. It has too!

update

We made to to Vegas after a VERY long drive! D looks great. Her husband is just happy to see us all! Bossman is making all the phone calls and trying to get financial aid and insurance stuff taken care of.

Luckily, the MIL is being good. She hasn't said any m*slimy things, for which we are eternally grateful. D is being very positive and is happy that we are here to support her. She will have a catheter placed in her liver to deliver the chemo straight to the tumor. The tumor is very large, so they are trying to shrink it before they try and take it out. The plan is to try and take it out in 2 weeks or so.

But the prognosis, at this point, is very good. She young and otherwise healthy. She is a fighter and we are going to do anything we can to help her and her husband.

We are going to take it one step and one day at a time.

Thank you all for your support. It's nice to check the e-mail and see so many comments and e-mails of support. It puts a smile on my face and helps me realize that there are people all over the world praying and sending healing thoughts.

Even though I may not know you personally, you've touched me and my family in a very personal way. Remember that today and tell your family how much you love them today!

HUGS!
grace

You just never know

We got some bad news yesterday. Bossman has a younger sister. She's only 35.

She went to the hospital for a stomach ache and now it turns out she has cancer in her liver.

So, as you can imagine, we are frantic.

Today, we found out, luckily, there is no cancer in any other part of her body. This is a good thing...a very good thing.

Anyway, we are off to see her. She lives in Vegas. Her mother...the dreaded MIL, is already there, and my SIL, we'll call her D, wants us there to protect her. D just doesn't want to deal with the drama that her mother creates wherever she goes. She most certainly doesn't want to deal with the m-slim stuff. We are hoping our presence there will tame the beast.

We are trying very hard to be positive. That is most important right now.

Please pray, or whatever it is that you do when you have a tragedy in your family.

Don't know if I'll be able to get online, but I will have the laptop, so I'll try and check in.

Thanks, in advance, for your thoughts and prayers. She could use them! We all could use them.

Steak and BJ day

I checked my calendar, and it turns out that Steak and Bj day happened to be Tuesday!

I had the steak, and Bossman had the BJ!!

Yes, it's true, I gave Bossman a BJ. Of course the bj came after a dip in the pool, that they call a bathtub. OMG, it was heaven.

We checked in around noon. We were in the tub about noon oh five!

The manager left us a box of chocolates and champagne. We popped the bubbly, added bubbles to the bath, turned on the jets.....aaahhhh, the life.

This room was fantastic. It's like an apartment. Living room, bedroom, kitchen! Big windows with window seating, in both the living room and bedroom.

This is the best hotel in our town. When they were shooting a movie in our area, the stars stayed in this hotel. Let me put it this way, Johnny Depp and I slept in the same bed. Ok, fine, we may not have slept in it together, but hey, close enough, right?

Ok, enough bragging. Let's talk Easter!

Mine was good. In case you all were wondering, the MIL did show up. Believe it or not, she didn't bring up ONE thing that had to do with m-slim. I almost forgot what normal was like around her.

So, that's it. Life is good right now. I'm grateful for that. My kids have the week off of school, so there will be some sleeping in on my schedule for this week.

Oh, and in case you didn't know, the twins are getting together this week. If you see any skipping and hand holding, just remember, you were warned!

So, was the Easter bunny good to you? Because really, isn't that what Easter is all about anyway? LOL

Weekend

If you didn't read the last post, scroll down and read it. Dreams do come true.

As for this weekend. I KNOW you'd all like to know if the MIL came to the baptism.

She didn't.

The FIL and the SIL came and my parents came so it was really nice. One tinsy tiny part of me thought the MIL might show. I was just praying that everything would be fine. Prayers were answered. Everything went perfectly.

As for the MIL, it was a little weird. Normally, my MIL would be very involved in the whole thing. She would have probably sung a special song for him, like she did for my daughter. It almost had the feeling that she was dead. I mean, we were all there except for her. I'm glad she didn't show, but it certainly was weird.

She did send a gift for the little man, but she didn't even bother to call him. I thought that was rude.

Now, on to Easter. I'm sure the m-slims don't celebrate Easter. When I asked the FIL if they wanted to come over for Easter, he said he wasn't sure, he had to check with the MIL. Sounded like that wasn't going to happy. I'm not too unhappy about that.

But it's sad.

Sad. Just sad.

I wonder if she realizes EXACTLY what she gave up when she chose to be m-slim.

As for me and Bossman. We can't care anymore. We have to live our own life. If she isn't in it....too bad for her. I know, sounds mean, but really, what choice did she leave us?

On a happier note....Tomorrow is the big day! We get to stay in the grand hotel suite!! Don't expect to hear from me for the next couple of days...I'll be busy! And naked. And just enjoying my man!

Be good while I'm gone!

Guess what!

Well, it finally happened! The time finally arrived. The dream came true. The fantasy was fulfilled. Life is good.

Oh, I suppose you'd all like to know what I'm talking about.

I could tell you. I know what detail whores you all are!

But sometimes it's nice to just know a secret. Sometimes you just want to keep it and hold it all to yourself.

Lucky for you....today is NOT that day!

I got the belt, I got the belt, I got the belt...did I mention I got the BELT?

Yep, finally happened. Bossman finally pulled out the big guns.

It all happened Friday. Friday, March 14th, 2008 to be exact.

Everything started innocently enough. First there was a shower. Have I mentioned that I hardly ever take a shower alone? Friday was no different. I had the baby that day, so I certainly wasn't expecting anything to happen. But guess what, in case you didn't know, babies take naps. Yep, they do!

So, we took a shower. I love me a shower with Bossman. It's a place where we touch, we talk and we manage to actually get clean....I know, what a concept.

After we got out of the shower, and made sure the baby was still asleep, Bossman decided to spank me. Now, I'm a pretty good girl, so I'm not even sure WHY he felt the need to spank. Could be, he didn't like all the laundry that has been sitting in the basket for a couple of days. Or, it could be that he didn't like my bossy attitude. Either way, I can't see why a spanking would be in order, but a spanking was had.

So, over his lap I went. Naked as the day I was born. Uh, just in case you don't know this, let me help you all out here. Spankings on a freshly showered bottom, HURT!

He used his hand and the dreaded BS! Why oh why haven't I thrown that stupid thing away? I guess it's because Bossman threatened a fate worse than death* if anything ever happened to the BS.

After a round with his hand and the BS, he stood me up. HOORAY, I thought I was done! Nice stingy spanking, nothing major, just a great way to start the day...right?

WRONG! He led me to the corner. WHAT? This was an outrage! How dare he! I wasn't going to put up with that. So I whined. And then I turned around to look at him.

Girls and Boys, this is the part of this post where I deliver a public service announcement.

Girls and Boys, it is NEVER a good idea to turn away from a corner when in the middle of a spanking session. Not only does it piss off your partner, it doesn't bode well for your bottom.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled story....

After I turned around, he wasn't very happy with me, so over his lap I went,once again. This time the BS made itself known much more frequently. Ouch and double ouch!

After this next volley and a stern lecture on the virtues of listening to Bossman, he stood me up again. WHEW! Now I was certain we were done, and not a moment too soon.

But NO! I was led BACK to the CORNER???!!!!!

What?

Why?

NOT FAIR!!!

This time, he left the room for a few minutes. I could have easily moved, but after that last volley, I think I learned my lesson. See, public service announcement above.

After he returned to the bedroom, he pulled me out of the corner and bent me over the bed. Oh, this was new. He never spanks me like that.

That's when I heard it. DUM, DUM, DUM! THE BELT!

I wasn't prepared. I didn't think this was going to happen right now. Is this really happening right now? YIKES!

I started protesting. NO, I'm not ready. Not now, I was just kidding. NO, no NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Bossman said yes. I started sweating. I don't know WHY, but I got really nervous. I thought of everything I had read. A lot of you gave me your impressions of the belt and it didn't seem so bad. I tried to remember that.

So he started in. Not very hard. Wasn't so bad, so far.

Then he tried a little harder.

This is where I have a little bone to pick with YOU....YOU people who claim to be my friends.

Did any of you think to mention to me the wrap-around? OUCH!

Dang that hurt.

YOU could have warned me!!!!!!! Seriously...I may never trust any of you again.

Ok, fine, it only happened about twice. Bossman figured it out pretty quickly. He IS quite smart, ya know?

But still, a warning would have been nice.

The rest of the belt portion wasn't too bad. It was a very different feeling from the brushes, spoons, paddles and BS that we've tried. It's nice and stingy, if your not experiencing the wrap-around. (I'm telling you, it's going to take awhile before I get over this. I expect much apologizing from YOU, that claim to be my friends.)

So, all in all, the belt was GREAT! I wouldn't mind trying that again. I won't be nearly as nervous next time. It was nice and stingy and left a nice warm glow on my nether region. Of course the BS and the hand helped that along, but I think the belt left something a little extra......

And I liked that!

Now let the apologizing begin!

*fate worse than death? Extended time with the BIG wooden spoon. OUCH!

I've always wondered.....

what was under those kilts, and now.....







I finally know!

Lots of things in one post

This post will probably be all over the board. So, please, bear with me!

First on the list, I would like to wish Evas' husband, Adam, a Very Happy Birthday! I hope your day has been great, and feel free to give Eva all the birthday spankings she deserves....of course, then you have to tell us all about it!!!

Next, I would like to thank you all for your comments over the last couple of days. I haven't had a chance to answer them all. I remember now why I don't post every day! HA! Actually, the anniversary was nice. We went out to dinner at our favorite steak house. We stuffed ourselves like pigs and talked about lots of STUFF! Only down side? I had a huge piece of tri-tip left and I saved it.....then forgot it on the table! GRRRRRR......I was going to have that for lunch today! We are having an even better celebration next Tuesday. Bossman has a client that happens to be the best hotel in the town. They just finished remodeling the best suite in the place, hot tub and all, and they are letting us stay in it for FREE!!!!! We wanted to do it this week, but between watching the baby and kids stuff, we had to wait until next week. This is our plan for that day... Being naked and never leaving the room!!!!! Doesn't get better than that.

Speaking of baby....my nephew is walking! He's barely 10 months old and I have to chase his little butt all over my house. My kids started walking this young too, but you know, it just doesn't seem right. This baby is entirely too small to be walking around. Where the heck does the time go? Frankly all babies should have to wear a helmet when learning to walk. It's dangerous business, this walking stuff.

As far as Bossman catching up on my blog. There have been LOTS of discussions. Nothing has happened yet, but we haven't really had any alone time either, so that could explain it. I've realized that just discussing it makes me HOT! Oh, don't get me wrong, I get very embarrassed and it's hard, but inside......wow!

Lets talk MIL for a minute. Couple of weeks ago we had a big argument. Long story short, she thought I talked trash about her and I thought she was a freak. Oh, wait, I still think she's a freak, but that's besides the point. Anyway, after a long and weird discussion, I finally figured out why she became....you know.

See, she feels like the people of our church have dissed her. I can't tell you the whole story, for that would take me weeks to type out, so lets just say, she doesn't get along with the people of our church. Instead of going somewhere new, she's decided that christianity as a whole is wrong. See, because a few, so called christians, treated her like crap, (her opinion, not mine) she has decided that christians as a whole are bad people. Of course, her whole family is christian, but she made it clear that it's not us, it's just them....to me that is laughable. How can you diss a whole religion but excuse your family?

Here's the bottom line for me. If you are going to believe in something....don't do it for the people. The people have nothing to do with it. If you are going to a church just for the people then what about the rest of it? I know, I know, church is a social thing. So, if you believe in the doctrine but hate the people, find ANOTHER church, not another religion. Basically she said that the ______ church had hurt her too badly. So, just because she hates the people at this church she changed her whole belief. Told me that people on the internet were WAY nicer to her than people at our church. Here's the problem with this.... The people on the internet don't KNOW her. They only know what she writes. If they knew this real-life, hateful person, they wouldn't be so kind to her. GET this....Everytime she gets mad at us, she deletes us from her myspace. Don't you wish that in real-life you could just delete someone? Oh what a world this would be. Rude cashier..delete. Slow drivers...delete. Rude customers....delete. Stupid MIL....DELETE!

So, enough about the MIL. She is a thorn in my side that just keeps jabbing away at me. My husband is just mad about the whole thing. Neither of us want to be around her and frankly I find it hard to feel bad about it. The only thing that bugs me is the kids. My daughter had such a great relationship with her grandparents and my son doesn't get that same thing. I feel bad for him. I'm so sorry that he has to miss out on that, but it's not my fault and I know he'll be fine.

Speaking of my son and religion. The little man is getting baptized this weekend. When my daughter got baptized it was such a wonderful occasion. All the grandparents were there and we had such a nice time. Now, I don't know if anyone on Bossman's side will be there. My MIL said she would come to our church with her hajeeb (muslim scarf thingie) on. CAN you imagine? She hates all those people, but she would dare show up like that? I told her I thought that was a horrible idea. She would be taking the focus off my son and I don't like that, AT ALL!

Of course, and this is completely selfish on my part, I know, but HOW EMBARRASSING, for all of us, but mostly Bossman. If she shows up, I don't know what will happen. I do know Bossman will NOT be happy! So lets just hope she doesn't show up.

So, tell me what you would do in my situation. I LOVE to know others opinions. Just remember, I prefer if everyone do it NICELY!

19 years and still in love...

19 years ago I married my best friend. He is my soul-mate. He is the one that I think about and dream about. I love you, Sweetheart! You will always be The One.

Love always and forever,
your wife

Uh...yeah...so....um...

I know none of you have probably noticed because who the heck goes back 2 posts and reads comments, but....

If you HAD gone back, to say, I don't know, the "I love Tuesday" post...then you might have noticed.

But see, since I get e-mails, telling me when someone comments, of course, I noticed right away.

So, guess what I noticed? Come on, don't cheat, there isn't a need to go back and look. It's not really THAT big of a deal but, well, uh, yeah, so.....

Bossman left a comment.

Ok, the comment isn't that important. I mean, ok, it's important to me, but THAT isn't what is important here.

The important part is, he read my blog.

OMG! He read me blog.

Of course I should say, I knew he read the blog, before I saw the comment. Want to know how I found out? Well, I'm tellin' ya anyway!

This morning found us in our favorite position. He took the little man to school, I got naked! When he got back into bed, he was pleasantly surprised. So, we make a little whoopie, and then took a shower together. (I'm telling you, I rarely take a shower alone...how lucky is THAT?)

While in the shower, he says that he has a concern. Hhmmmm, what kind of concern, you ask? (Ok I asked it, but I'm sure that YOU are now asking it as well)

He said he thought we had a communication problem. Well, double hhhhmmmmm! I was still clueless... I had NO idea what he was talking about. I thought the communication in the bedroom a few minutes earlier was going just fine....thank you very much!

So, what exactly was he talking about? Then he spilled the beans, "So, I read your blog last night."

Dum, dum, dum........

Holy. freakin'. CRAP!

So, he says he read all my posts since christmas time. He said he learned a lot about ginger...

How the heck did he learn about ginger? I only mentioned it in passing, right? Apparently, he took it upon himself to google it. DAMN, google!!!!!!!!

While my mind is still reeling from this information, he informs me that he also found a New York spanking group website. He tells me there is LOTS of informative spanking articles and he'll forward me the link....

Uh, how did he suddenly know stuff that I didn't know? (Oh and in case any of you were wondering, he informed me that the New York thing is having a thing and it only costs 500 dollars. Not that I would go to something like that....but the fact that HE found out about it and mentioned it....OMG!)

Ok, let me just calm down for a second and explain something to you all. My husband has NEVER, and I repeat NEVER looked up stuff about spanking on his own.

That didn't really calm me down. As a matter of fact, just saying that has made me freak out all over again.

For all you detail whores (PK!) I just want you to know that he didn't specifically mention the belt. BUT, he did say that he liked the videos I posted. YIKES... What does THAT mean?? He did say that he was disappointed that I couldn't be more free with telling him things. He also said that he could see that spanking was REALLY important to me. (Not sure how he came up with those deductions....are you?)

So, what was my reaction to all this...... ACK!

Luckily I was turned to the water when he told me, so I just put my head under the sprayer and tried to drowned myself. When THAT didn't work....

I put soap in my eyes, so I wouldn't have to look at him....

When I realized that soap in my eyes is kind of painful, I tried drowning myself again.

After that, I realized I was going to have to own up to what I wrote.

But you know, we didn't talk much more about it. I think he needs to digest it all some more. But I did manage to say that I wasn't THAT interested in the ginger.....

So, yeah...

Communication.....

Gotta love it!

A Kingdom of Dreams

I'm done being serious for awhile. Serious always makes me nervous. You never know how people will react. Thankfully, all of you acted very well! I so appreciate that!

On to something new....

Don't you just love it when you're reading a book and come across a spanking scene? That happened to me this week! I LOVE when that happens.

I absolutely LOVE reading. But I hate spending money on books. So I typically buy books at yard sales and thrift stores.

Last week I spent a whole dollar and came home with an arm load of books. (SCORE!!!)

One of the books was called A Kingdom of Dreams, by Judith McNaught.

At first glance, you think it's just another romance novel. Me? I LOVE me a juicy romance novel. So I was all ready to get lost in another time and another place. Hot knights and dukes fighting over damels in distress. Oh YEAH!

Imagine my surprise when I'm not very far along and I come to a spanking scene! OH YES! Bonus for me!!!

The story is set in the 1400's. It's England verses Scotland. It's dukes and knights and kings and castles. It's kidnapping and damsels in distress. Everything I love about romance novels.

The damsel is a lovely young girl Scottish girl named Jennifer. She's a feisty young maiden, sent to live in a nunnery. She and her sister are both there.

Lets jump to the chase, er, I mean, spanking...shall we?

She and her sister are kidnapped by a fierce English warrior named Royce. Only he's known across the land as The Wolf! Jennifer and her sister plot to escape this horrible beast of a man. They finally succeed, only to be captured again. Jennifer, our hapless heroine, has accidentally killed the Wolfs horse. When she and her sister are brought back to the warriors camp, Jennifer is made to stay in Royces tent. Once in the tent, he is so upset with her that he decides to spank her. Of course, at first she thinks he will kill her, but he feels she needs a good beating. If only her father had done this sooner she wouldn't have been sent to the nunnery.

So, he spanks her. Oh what a great scene. He spanks her until his hand hurts! He wants to spank her until she crys. But she doesn't give him that satisfaction. Believe it or not, this is hardly the beginning of this novel!

Unfortunately there are no more spanking scenes. But if you love a good romance novel, this is definitely the book for you.

So now that I've done my civic duty and told you all about the book with the spanking scene, I'm off to read the next one. Surely I couldn't get lucky enough to find another spanking scene....

If I find one, you'll all be the first to know!

complicated

Domestic Discipline is complicated. There are no rules to follow.

Every relationship is different. What works for some, doesn't always work for others.

Personalities play a huge roll. Submissive and/or dominate alike have to be part of your personality.

It's no wonder that it's so hard to incorporate this type of relationship into your everyday life.

Of course I haven't even mentioned how it's so "unacceptable" in todays society. Heaven help you if you actually tell people around you that your husband spanks you. Not only would you be looked at like the town whore, but your husband would be arrested for domestic abuse.

Women's rights movements would hunt us down if they knew that we were willing to allow men to lead us. Women should be powerful and successful and should be stronger than the men! HA!

Why am I pointing this all out? Because I am amazed at how many of us seek this kind of relationship.

If you surf the web, you will find all kinds of websites dedicated to d/d. I am especially amused by the Christian ones. Most of you know that I profess to be a Christian. So you're probably wondering why the Christian websites would amuse me. So, I'll tell you...

Am I the only one that thinks the Christian sites are just trying to justify "this thing we do," so they don't look like they are doing anything bad? Believe me, I believe in the Bible. But I am not going to use it as an excuse to let my husband spank me.

My husband spanks me because I want him to, not because God told him to. If God told man to spank his wife, you can bet that all Christian churches would teach d/d and spanking would be mainstream. Not only that, but Eve? Adam should have spanked her LONG and HARD!

I've often struggled to understand if spanking makes me a pervert. Does allowing my husband to spank me, make me a bad person? Does it make me kinky? Weird? (Ok, these are hypothetical and I DON'T expect you to answer them....PK!)

Then I think about other things sexual. Does trying new things in the bedroom make me a sinner?

So, I asked around. I talked to people over the years about this sort of thing. I wanted to know how a good Christian woman would be interested in these kind of things.

You know, everyone has a different answer. Amazing, I know, but true. Some think that certain things are a sin. Some think that it doesn't matter.

So can we pick and choose? Can we be spankers and be good Christians?

In my opinion, YES!

Here's what I've decided. This is MY decision, not YOURS. You can't have it. You have to make your own.

I've decided that what I do in my bedroom is my decision. It's between me and God. Well, I suppose it's between me and God and Bossman! I believe that marriage is a sacred thing and as long as you uphold your marriage vows, then what you do in the bedroom is ok with God.

I have to point out....I'm a pretty open-minded person. I believe that everyone has to make their own decisions about religion, about God, about politics and about sex. I don't judge what others do. If you ask me about religion, I talk to you about it. But I don't force others to believe what I believe. And I don't judge you for what you believe. That goes for sexual orientation, sexual preferences, religious beliefs, politics or anything else. I believe that we are born with the right to choose. We all have to find what fits for us. Therefore, how can I possibly judge you if your beliefs are different than mine? That would be hypocritical of me,now wouldn't it?

Back to the point. (well, I think there's a point ) Domestic Discipline is complicated. It takes loads of communication and trust. It also takes change. You have to be willing to change and your partner has to be willing to change. Since there are no rules, you have to make them up. You have to see what fits. What works and what doesn't. I read somewhere that a relationship is not a race. Nothing has to happen over night. There isn't a time frame for getting things done. You may be ready, but what if your partner isn't? If you love that person and that person loves you, you WILL work it out. Compromise is another big thing. Without that, you will fall flat on your face.

I'm not sure where all this leads. I just know that I've been thinking it and feeling it, so I wrote it.

You may or may not agree with me. That's ok. As long as you don't criticize I'll be fine.

I don't do criticism well.