Blogger is being a PIG!

A good friend e-mailed me, to tell me that blogger was being a pig. Actually, numerous friends e-mailed me with similar responses, but I like the pig one the best! So most people had to e-mail thier comments on the Why post. Thanks everyone for your comments!

I hate talking about my illness all the time, so I will try not to bring it up to much anymore, but I just wanted to give a small update, so you will know where things stand.

I feel WAY better than I did last week. I had lots of pain, couldn't sleep or eat. At least this week I can do those things. Be grateful for eating and sleeping.

I'm still fighting something though, and the doctors don't know what it is. They have ran just about every test in the book, from thyroid to diebetes, but nothing has turned up. I'm still on some heart meds, to keep my rate from skyrocketing. But everyday I run a fever. Today, I'm at 101. But the fever is like some yo-yo over which I have no control. I'll wake up feeling ok, normal fever, thinking, wow, I'm finally getting better, to an hour later having a fever of 101. 3 to 4 hours later, my fever will drop to normal, or below normal. Somtimes as low as 96. I don't know what to think of all this. I've never been sick like this, and the unknown is a scary place to be.

Anyway, this is the update. I think I will try to put things on this blog that have nothing to do with sickness for awhile. As soon as I find out what the problem is, or as soon as I go a couple of days with no fever...You all will be the first to know. So the posts may not be as many, but I hope to be a little more upbeat over here. They say laughter is the best medicine, so maybe if I just put my mind to upbeat things, I'll feel better. Again, thanks for all the support! You guys are the BEST!

later......

whY?

I'm hoping today is the letter Y. Even if it's not, I'm going with it because it just seems it fits.

The last couple of weeks have really taught me some very valuable lessons. I've never been so sick in my life. So most of the time I kept asking myself why.

Why did this happen to me?
Why did this happen now?
Why did my children have to go through this?
Why did Bossman have to be so scared?
Why couldn't I just get better?

The last why is the easiest to answer because today I'm feeling much better. The road to recovery will be long but recovery is what it will be.

The rest of the whys, I can't answer. I don't know why this happened to me. I don't know why it happened now. I don't know why the kids or Bossman had to deal with this. But I do know something.

It doesn't matter. It happpened. It could have been worse. But it wasn't. The truth of the matter is, I have been humbled. Being unable to care for yourself or even make a decision for yourself is hard. I have learned that my husband loves me no matter what. He will do anything possible to make me happy, better, comfortable. I believe my husband would sell his soul for me if he had to. That is a powerful thing to realize. I don't believe I am worthy of such love, but I won't question that love ever again. So "why", for me, doesn't really matter anymore.

But I am grateful for "why". If I hadn't wondered why, I may not be the person I am today. If I had taken things for granted, instead of asking why, what kind of person would that have made me?

I will probably always ask why. I know, I just said, why doesn't matter anymore. And for now it doesn't. It doesn't matter why my husband loves me, he just does. It doesn't matter why I got sick, it just matters that I am getting better. It doesn't matter why my children had to go through this, it will make them stronger people and maybe they will appreciate things more. (I can hope, right?)

Maybe for this day, set aside the why. Just enjoy the because, and leave it at that.

Oh, just thought I'd mention, I REALLY love candied yams . The song Yesterday, by the Beatles, really got me through this sickness. The color yellow is a happy color. Yoodlers make me smile. Anybody remember Yertle the turtle? Spankings are yummy, but IV's are yucky!

Last but not least, YOU ! Thank you all again for your love and support during this very diffcult time. I've read all the comments. I've read all the e-mails. They have made me smile. I've had people that I didn't even know read my blog send me well wishes. For this I am eternally grateful! YOU are the best Y of all!

later.......

Still alive, but not up to kicking yet!

Thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers. Bossman is taking extra special care of me. Still not sure what the prob is, but today is a good day, so we'll just go with that for now.

As for this post, I wrote it about 2 weeks ago, when I was having a good day! It's old and most of you probably won't even know what it's about, but hey...it's all I've got, and it's the thought that counts right?? If your still confused, read this, it might clear things up!



Last week, in my feverish haze, I had a crazy dream....

It was WEIRD.

See, Elis and Theresa and I were at Pauls. That's right...Pauls.

Elis kept muttering how she wanted a crop and she gosh darn better get one for christmas or Nick was going to be in big trouble. I'm not sure why, but Theresa was going around spewing coke on people. Remember, I had a fever.

Meanwhile...

I was trying to give a blow job to someone, but when I realized it wasn't Bossman, I pushed him down the stairs. I didn't realize I could be so mean, but if I decide to give ANYONE a blow job then Bossman is the ONLY guy I'm giving BJs to. Thank goodness this was only a dream. And frankly, bj's only happen in Bossmans dreams, so that was just strange.

I was wandering around Pauls place looking for Eva and Tiggr. I mean really, what's a party without those two gals? Elis informed me that Eva didn't come. I was really upset that she wasn't there. How can we have a party without her? Elis was keeping her informed by e-mail, but really, how can you truly have a party if one of your best buds isn't there???

Next thing I know, we are heading to Shy's house. Now, I don't know Shy very well, so I really didn't know what to expect. Once we got to Shys she started taking a survey. It was all about floggers, crops and paddles. I really haven't had any experience with any of those things and so I just sat back and listened.

Well, it wasn't nearly as exciting as I thought. There were no spankings. What a rip off! It was just a bunch of questions! Who likes this...who likes that...who likes both...who likes all of the above...blah blah blah....

This was beginning to sound like a freakin math equation! I couldn't believe I was dreaming about MATH! My fever must have really been HIGH!

Anyway, all I know is that there were alot of people at the party. There were no spankings, and frankly I don't even remember there being any snacks! Seeing as how I was trying to give someone a bj...this was really a NIGHTMARE!

Next time I decide to have a party with you guys, I don't want any mention of blowjobs...I want lots of snacks..cheetos are my snack of choice (although at the moment cheetos and all other high salt foods are strictly a no-no) and for heaven sakes lets have SPANKINGS!!!

As for Eva, she better be at the next party, for I need her there when things start getting mathy.

later....

sick of being sick

Yep, I'm still sick!

My heart is better it seems, but I'm still fighting some sort of infection that nobody can pin-point.

The docs are baffled.

I am just SICK of being SICK!

The worst part of this pity-party is, I can't even have cheetos! (too much salt)

So, let's review...

I can't have cheetos...

Nobody knows what I have....

I'm still sick...

Yep, that about covers it!

later......

Hello

Hello Everyone!

I am at such a loss for words, I'm not even sure what to write. Your comments made me smile and your prayers and well wishes did wonders for my mind. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! You all will never know how wonderful you made me feel.

The good news is, I'm getting better. The bad news is, the meds I'm on make me very tired all the time, so I can't spend more than a few minutes on the computer. I would love to respond to all the well wishers and the e-mails, but that will have to wait for a little while more.

Nobody is quite sure what my problem is. I went to the doctor today, and he is going to follow up with the ER docs and the cardioligist. They think I have a viral infection that was attacking my heart. The hope is once the infection is gone, I will be back to my normal bratty self. For now, I stay on the meds and be very tired. Better that, than having my heart jump around like crazy.

Things like this always put things in perspective. My thanksgiving weekend was a nightmare I hope to never have to relive. But I found out that there are way more important things in the world than turkey and stufffing.

Yesterday was Bossman's birthday. I could never, ever have made it through this without him. The look of worry on his face as I was being rushed into the ER is not a look I ever want to see on his face again. He made decisions for me, he held me, he sat in uncomfortable chairs for hours, so that he would not have to leave my side. I would fall asleep in my hospital bed with him holding my hand and wake up with him still there watching over me. He asked all the right questions and made sure that everything that should be done was done. Every time I would ask a question about the kids, he already had it taken care of. I wish I could have been well enough to celebrate his birthday in style. He deserves that and more. But he informed me that he was already given the best gift of all, and that was me, getting better. I definately couldn't buy THAT at the store.

I'll be around in a couple of days. The doctor I saw today is going to try and lower my dosage of meds so that I won't be so tired. We'll see how that goes in the next couple of days.

Until then friends, be well. Hug your family, tell the people in your life how much you love them. I want to leave you with this....

Take a moment right now and feel your pulse. Put your hand over your heart and just feel it beat. Tonight when your snuggling against your loved one, put your head on his/her chest and just listen to the beat of their heart. This is what is important. Don't take your heart or your health, for that matter, for granted. What could be fine today could be not-so-fine tomorrow. Take the time to appreciate your heart. It is, after all, one of the most important organs in your body.

HUGS!
Grace

Greetings from Bossman

Hello it's Bossman. Grace has given me her password and asked me to post some news regarding her health.

Last week almost exactly 7 days ago tonight she started feeling sick and developed a temperature of 102. Everything looked like it was a flu or cold since she had a high temperature and some aches and pains. One concern she had was a little chest pain but nothing that bad. So as the days progressed she got a little worse but nothing more than you would expect from a cold. By Wednesday her temp had gone down and it looked like she was on the way to recovery.

Thanksgiving morning she woke up about 9am and realized we needed some additional supplies from the grocery store. She was still feeling a little sick but was tired of being in the house so she went to the store by herself. (that's my headstrong Grace for you) While at the store she became light headed and felt like she was going to pass out. She sat down for a few minutes and felt better. After she got home she was feeling like something was not right. After about an hour her heart began beating kinda weird and she had a panicky feeling that overwhelmed her. I was extremely worried and rushed her down to the urgent care center. She went straight in without waiting and was hooked up to a monitor. They took one look at her heart rhythm and called an ambulance to take her to the hospital immediately. Of course we were totally freaked out!!! It turns out her heart was beating between 150 and 200 beats per minute. The normal is between 60 and 90. So after about 4 hours of medication and tests in the ER and getting calmed down they were able to get her heart to beat at a rhythm of about 80 beats per minute. Everything looked good so we went home a few hours later.

Then the next morning she got up and felt better and started getting ready for the day. Everything was going fine until about 4pm All of a sudden it hit again! She was panic'd and began to loose the ability to make decisions and function. I RUSHED her out the door and to the emergency room again. This time they said we are admitting her and running more tests. It took about 4 hours but they finally were able to get her heart beating normally again by adjusting the medication. They ran every test in the book. (The bill will probably be as much as a new Ferrari but I don't care if it's a billion dollars Grace is the world to me.)

Sooo what was the problem? The doctor said it was probably something called
A-tra-fibulation. (I'm guessing I spelled that wrong) Now this could be caused from a viral infection and go away or be just a random thing that happened and may be something she will have for a longer period of time. The good news is that all of her tests came back normal. Her heart is strong and in perfect health, her chest x-rays and bloodwork have all been normal.

So we have been at the hospital for the last 2 days just returning home today about 2pm. I had 3 hours of sleep over a 48 hour period because I was so worried. But the last 36 hours her heart has been in a normal rhythm beating at about 65-70 beats per minute. She is feeling much better especially after getting some additional rest today. I'm still nervous though and watching her like a hawk. Some of the tests have not come back yet but as of right now she is resting comfortably in the bedroom and her heart rate and blood pressure are normal.

You know the weirdest thing about this whole thing is she has had no pain. In fact the worst pain was the 10 tries for an IV and all the blood they took from her. When her heart was like that it was not painful just made her panic.

She wanted to take a few days off from here but did say she would get back on here and post again real soon. I sincerely appreciate all of the positive and well wishing comments you have given. Reading her comments always makes her smile and she really tries hard to answer each one of you. I want to personally thank you for your concern and how you make this a fun and exciting place to interact. I know my writing is not as good as Grace's but I hope I have shed some light on where she has been. If you have any questions I will be reading her comments and relaying messages to her until she get's on here.

Bossman

Sick

Hi everyone!

Just wanted you all to know that I have been very sick the last couple of days. I'm still recovering, but it's taking me longer than I thought. Just sitting here typing this is making me dizzy.

Just know that I am hanging here there, and Bossman is taking extra good care of me.

I will try and get to a decent post and to all my e-mail as soon as I am able.

If I can't make it here by Thursday, I want to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving!

(I'd give hugs, but I don't want anyone else to get sick!)

Grace

Up, up and away

Underware: I feel so naked without them. Pulling them down for a spanking is soooo sexy!

Up: When I die, I plan on going UP, not down. Although I'm sure you all can't possibly believe that!

Umbrella: Handy for rain, even handier for killing big spiders! (ok, I panicked!)

Uranus: I just love saying that word!

Umbilical cord: Although the umbilical cord gives life to the fetus. In this case it gave life to my beautiful children.

Uterus: I love being a woman. Plus, that was a great place for my fetuses to grow!

Un: Most of the words I thought of started with Un. Un is great. It means we can undo mistakes that we made. It means we can untie our shoes as soon as we walk in the door. We can unmake the bed, when we are feeling frisky. The sound of a belt being unbuckled makes my heart skip a beat. Unlucky is what happens when I play the lotto. Unbreak my heart, by Toni Braxton, used to be my favorite song. Uncovering my spanking needs has led to some unforgettable experiences. The love I have for Bossman is undying.

USA: I am proud to be an American. Doesn't matter what political party I am. Doesn't matter if I agree or disagree with the war. Doesn't even matter if I like or dislike our President. I would still choose to be an American. The land of the Free and the home of the Brave!

Well, there you have it the U's. Hope you all have an unsually unique day!

later....

Driving Miss Daisy

I survived the birthday!

My house is still standing. The cake has been eaten. The presents have been opened and NOW, now comes the most dreadful news of all.

The wildchild wants to drive.

Her Grandma graciously gave my daughter 200 bucks so she can take the driving class. (Thanks MOM!) That means she can now get her driving permit.

So, this is a warning. Really, it's a public service announcement.

Stay off the sidewalks people! As a matter of fact, if I were you, I'd stay indoors. I wouldn't even think of heading out the door. Nope, I'm telling you, it's just not safe.

As for me, I've purchased the helmet, googles, scarf (just so I can look cool) and the driving gloves. I'm debating on whether or not I should just get a blindfold so I don't have to watch my own execution. I'm also considering body armor, but isn't that saying, I don't trust you?

I've got out the Barry Manillow tapes for cruising, and I'm hoping between the music and the outfit this will have her deciding that driving with mom is too embarrassing.

Think it will work?

I'll let you know.....

later....

Sweet 16

My lovely daughter is 16 today.

Let me tell you about the day I found out I was pregnant.

It was our anniversary the week before. Our one year anniversary. We decided to go to Las Vegas. Neither of us had been as adults, so we thought it would be fun. We were both 21.

We woke up the day of the trip, and Bossman went out to fill the car with gas while I did last minute packing. 2 seconds after leaving, he was back. The car had been broken into the night before. The side rear window was broken out. The radio was gone. Instead of leaving for Vegas, we were filing police reports. Apparently there were numerous break ins in our area that night.

Should we cancel the trip? Nah, we were young and we wanted to get out of town. So we taped cardboard to our window, and left.

We ended up having a great time in Vegas. We had lots to talk about on the way, it was a 7 hr drive and with no radio, talking was all we had. We checked out all the sights, did some gambling. We walked and walked.

Now, unfortunately, I was pretty sure I was going to start my period any day. I had a prescription for *birth control in my purse, just waiting to be filled. In those days, you were suppose to wait until your period started before starting the pill.

So, we walked and walked and I was soooo tired. I had never felt this tired before. I knew my period was coming, but this was ridiculous. When we got back to the hotel room, I was bushed. I laid down for a minute and was out like a light. Poor Bossman thought I was sick.

But we did have a great time, and when we came home, I still hadn't started that period. I am pretty regular, so this was weird for me.

A few days after getting home, I stopped by to see my mom. I had pictures I wanted to show her. I mentioned that I hadn't started my period and she slyly asks, "do you think your pregnant?" Hmmm, I hadn't thought of THAT!

Oh my goodness! Do you think? Well, I told my mom, I don't know, I guess I'll wait a few more days and see. I'm sure I'll start any day.

A few hours later she calls me. "Did you know you can go down to the clinic and they will give you a pregnancy test?" "But, you have to go on Thursdays."

Tomorrow was Thursday. That night, I tell Bossman what I think. He's as surprised as I am. "Let's go tomorrow then."

Bright and early the next morning we head to the clinic. Bossman was the only male in the room. There were alot of women with lots of little kids running around.

I pee in the cup and then we wait...and wait...and wait....

Finally we are called in. I guess it's usually just a woman that goes, because there was only one chair to sit in. So Bossman had to stand. The doctor sits behind her desk and says..."Well, your test came back positive."

I was shocked. I couldn't believe it. I looked up at Bossman, who was standing next to me and he says..."So, uh, what does that mean?"

TOO FUNNY!

I bust out laughing. "It means we are going to have a baby!"

The look on his face was priceless. It was shocked, scared, worried and I think there was a little awe on his face as well.

It was a surprise to say the least, but it was a wonderful surprise! It was the best surprise. It was a magical day.

8 months later we had a beautiful bundle of love. All sugar, lots of spice.

16 years later, she is still sugar and spice. She's also wild and talented and free-spirited. She's part me, and part him. She's got his musical abilities and his curly hair. She's got my chin and my eyes. She's dramatic and she's kind. She's everything I wish I was, and some things I wish she wasn't. She's the best and the worst of both of us and I wouldn't have her any other way.

Sweet 16 and I love her to death!

later....

*I still have the birth control prescription. It's in her baby book!

Tea for Two

~The letter T~

Tea: Tea is excellent. I love iced tea and hot tea! Give me tea with honey or with My honey and I'm pretty happy to have Tea!

Toast: Toast is great with tea in the morning1

T....: Is my real name. It's a name like no other. Nobody can say it right and nobody can spell it right. I've never met another with the same name as mine. Yes, I have googled it. Apparently we are out there, but I've never met one in person.

Target: I really love the store Target. It has such a wonderful assortment of stuff. I love stuff.

Tantrums: Tantrums are fun when you need to let off a little steam. However,I wouldn't recomment it when Bossman is around with the BS.

Toilet paper: I sure am grateful for Toilets, but the paper makes it even better. Can't imagine wiping without it.

Tinker toys: Remember playing with Tinker toys? They bring back such fond memories of childhood with my brother and sister.

Tracks: Race tracks, bear tracks, the tracks my kitten left of paper down the hall.

Trick or treats: The candy is great, but not good for the waist. Can't seem to say away from all the treats.

Travel: I love exploring new places.

Trouble: It manages to find me wherever I go, I think it's my middle name.

Tinkerbell: I do believe in fairies, I do, I do!

Tonka trucks: My son loved his tonka trucks. I'm a little sad that he is slowly outgrowing them.

Trains: My Grandad worked in the train industry. Bossman has a train layout in the garage.

Turkey: I love to eat turkey and Thanksgiving is just around the corner.

Trays: Whatever would I carry my fast food on?

Taco Bell: This is the place I use the trays!

Tinsel: Christmas is just around the corner!!!

Tongues: What could would Taco Bell be without a tongue to taste it with? (What'd ya think I was gonna say?)

Togas: Doesn't a toga party with all of us there sound like FUN??

Tickle me Elmo: Who doesn't like a toy that laughs?

Texas: The state my brother was born! Hot as heck, but fond memories!

Tutu: Little girls in tutus! How cute is that?

Tuesday: What a wonderful day to be grateful!

later....

*update* There is one T that at the moment I am not so grateful for. Throw-up. That is what my son decided to do last night and this morning. Needless to say, I did not need this on birthday week! Oh well, that's my life.....

Thank you


I just wanted to thank all of you for your wonderful comments on Friday. It's such a pleasure to know so many people are reading and actually coming back. To all my friends, thank you! Thank you for taking time to read and respond to my blog. You all make this so much fun! I didn't start out writing for others, but what a bonus it is to have you all here.

To the other readers, Thank you! It is such a surprise to find out people are actually enjoying what I have to say. It would be lovely if you would continue to leave a comment now and then, but if you can't or don't, just know that I know you are there, and I thank you.

Now, just in case any of you missed it, you might want to go look at my comments from the last post one more time. I just had a surprise comment from the love of my life, BOSSMAN!!! I guess he stopped by while I was sleeping last night! What a pleasant surprise! I sure do love that man!

Now, on to other news.

This is the week my wildchild turns 16. Wednesday is the official day, but the birthday week started on Saturday. Since my MIL (mother-in-law) is crazy, and I mean that in the nicest way, we can't have her over when others are over. She is the type of person that gets along with NO ONE! So, we had her over for lunch on Saturday to celebrate the birthday, along with Bossmans sister. My best friend, who is a saint from heaven came over as well. I call her a saint because she is the only one brave enough to come over when my MIL is over. She has seen this woman at her worst, she has even taken some of her wrath and yet, she still comes over when she is here. Thank GOD for good friends like that.

Let me just tell you a little about the MIL. First off, she has a myspace. Now, that wouldn't be too weird except....she only has ONE person that she officially knows in person. I know, you're thinking whats the difference between what she does and what I'm doing here? I'll tell you. Myspace is real. She has her real name and real pictures of herself and family on this site. She talks about the Bible and her beliefs. That wouldn't be so bad, but there is one other thing that she talks about, racial discrimination. Now, don't get me wrong, I am against racial stuff too. But my MIL wishes she was black. (she's not, but my FIL is half black, but looks white.) She claims that people have discriminated against her because she's married to a black man...AGAIN...I repeat...he doesn't even LOOK black. Another HUGE problem, she thinks these people are all REAL. Again, don't get me wrong, I think you're all real, but if Madonna or Michael Jackson left me a comment, I highly doubt it would be the real deals. She had the "night stalker" comment on her site, so she thought it was the real one. She said she was going to have to go to his parole hearing and make sure he didn't get out of jail because otherwise he would come after her because she deleted his comments. We tried telling her it wasn't the real guy, we even did a search on myspace and came up with 300+ "night stalker" websites. So, like I said, she's a little on the crazy side, and really, I do mean that in the nicest way!

Ok, enough about her. Back to my daughters birthday. On Wed. we will have MY side of the family over for cake and presents. THEN on Thursday, (no school on Friday) she is having friends over for videos and the GIRLS only will spend the night. Bossman and I agreed to leave the house for a couple of hours....I'm SOOO nervous about this. I've NEVER let her be home alone with friends. And now I'm allowing it with 10 friends! I'll let you know on Friday if this was a good idea or not.

So like I said, this is birthday week. For some reason the movie "Sixteen Candles" keeps running through my mind. Of course I could NEVER forget her birthday, as she reminds us on a daily basis and there is a running countdown on the calendar AND she has even programmed my phone to give me a reminder...EVERYDAY!!! (somebody help me turn that OFF!!!)

So, that's what my week will be like. Too much cake, too many teens in my house and a beautiful 16 year old that just wants to get her drivers license. (That is a discussion for another post)

Now, what the heck do I get the girl that has everything already and only wants money? Any ideas? She doesn't want make-up, can't buy her clothes, has every electronic device she could possibly need. I'm leaning toward jewelry. But ideas would be nice.

In other news, I got spanked last week. Bossman has been getting on me for slacking off. It's true. I slacked off big time last week. And then, I really screwed up. We went to the store, and I thought he was behind me, but he thought I was still in the car, so I was in the store and he was outside the store, waiting for me. YIKES, it sounds bad, I know. See, I get out of the car rather quickly. I walk quickly, Bossman takes longer. I have a hard time waiting for him. I'm always far ahead of him and this is quite a pet peeve of his. I don't blame him. I would be annoyed if he did that to me. So, this is something we've been working on. Since this latest problem was the worst, the spanking was pretty bad. The back scratcher really did the job well. Believe it or not, I think I would rather have the wooden spoon than that stupid BS. (ahhhh, that will be the name for it for now on...BS!) I never thought I would say that. The wooden spoon has always been scary for me. Now I'm thinking that the BS is worst! Maybe it just depends on how upset the hand that holds it actually is....could that be it?

Well, whatever it is, it hurt! Next time I go to the store with Bossman, I will be the last to get out of the car and I will hold his hand all the way there.

I know this was a long post, but I will be so busy with birthday that I may not get to post much this week. Therefore I left you with a post that you can read all week long!!! Wasn't that nice of me??

later.....

Welcome


Hi everyone!

Thank you for stopping by today! Today is the day I invite YOU...that's right..YOU to leave a comment on my blog.

I know you. You love to jump from blog to blog looking for something interesting that someone has written. You're nervous about commenting. Afraid it might sound dumb. Believe me, I've been there. I've done that. Heck, I still do that!

But listen, it's ok. It's ok to leave a comment on a blog. Nobody will know it's you. You can be completely anonymous. I promise no one will ever know!

So please, leave me a comment. I would love to hear from you. I've really made some wonderful friends here. Except for Eva, they are a pretty nice bunch. (You gotta watch that Eva, she's tries to give out MATH problems...YUCK!)

I would love to make new friends. But if you don't want to be a friend, that's ok too. Just a comment letting me know that you read here is fine. Even just a "HI" would be nice.

So please, come on, do it just this once...leave me a comment. I promise I don't bite! Ok, I bite a little, but I never leave lasting marks! (Don't tell Eva, she thinks I don't bite.)

Oh, I should warn you...Elis said we weren't perverted, but she was only speaking for herself...me? I'm REALLY perverted, and weird...I'm really, really weird.

Ok, now don't forget to comment! It's just one click away...it's right there...right under this post. It won't hurt a bit, I PROMISE!

HUGS!
grace

please get that candy away from me

Halloween was a great success at our house! The little man went as a ninja and my wildchild when as a pirate. Have you seen the costumes that the high schoolers are wearing??? Since when did Halloween become "dress as a slut" day? I had to veto numerous outfits before I would let my daughter out of the house. Sheez!

Bossman decided to dress up this year. He took out a white sheet, cut two eyes and wa-la, instant costume. Believe it or not, but he went out trick or treating in that sheet. He actually went up to a couple of houses and got on his knees, people thought he was a kid. I was hysterical laughing! My 6 foot 4 tall husband walking around with a sheet over his head was comical to say the least.

Now there is this problem of candy. It's everywhere, and I can't keep my hands off it. There are candy wrappers covering my desktop right now! HELP!

Ok, now on to other news.

I wanted to thank you all for your response to my sex-drive post. I was really nervous about posting it. I wasn't sure what kind of response I would get. I was surprised at the number of e-mails I recieved. There are plenty of us going through this very problem. It truly makes things easier to handle when you know you're not the only one going through it.

So, thank you all for your support. Things in my marriage are going great right now. Sex is good, spankings are few, but good.

But please, someone take this candy away....PLEASE!

later.....

Thankful

Today is S, and there are plenty of S's out there! Since there were so many, I decided it was too hard to pick my favorites. Therefore, I leave you with a little something that my mom e-mailed to me. I thought it was perfect for Gratitude Tuesday!

Happy Halloween everyone!


I AM THANKFUL:
FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING
DISHES BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS
AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM EMPLOYED

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT
FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT
NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING, AND
GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS
WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END
OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF
WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED
WITH TRANSPORATION.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING
BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND
ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN
CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT
GOES OFF IN THE
EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

later......

You all are too smart!

I love hanging around the smart people. They always make me look WAY smarter than I actually am.

With that said, I'm so proud of you all for guessing that I wrote The Perfect Night. Congrats to all of you, smartie pants!

First of all, I just want you to know, I wrote this story over 5 years ago. It was something I wrote to Bossman to give him an idea of what I was looking for in a spanking. I added the bj part because really, don't bj's sound so hot in a good spanking story? Plus, I was hoping the bj part would make him more interested in trying spanking. I figured I had to give something if he was going to give something to me. I really did mean everything I said in the bj post. I really don't like giving them. So I didn't write it just to throw you all off. Besides, I KNEW you were all too smart for that!

Anyway, thanks for all the compliments. I'm glad you enjoyed, because really, that's what Fantasy Friday is all about!


later......

Oh, I forgot to add how thrilled I am that I fooled Dante!!! It's a thrill to know he thought Tig wrote it. To be held in such high regard is an honor!

weather

You Are Sunshine

Soothing and calm
You are often held up by others as the ideal
But too much of you, and they'll get burned

You are best known for: your warmth

Your dominant state: connecting


I got this at her website. Hope you don't mind, Cathy!

later......

How's your sex drive?

I have a friend named kitten. I've been reading her blog for a long time. Some of her posts have dealt with the fact that her hubby doesn't have much of a sex drive. They have been having a hard time working through it all, but I'm hopeful that they are working toward a resolution.

This brings me to my own sex drive. Believe it or not, I can relate to her problem. Unfortunately, I can relate to her hubby, CD, more.

This is hard to admit, but I feel like if I'm going to be honest on this blog, I need to admit this, because if you read my blog regularly, you could easily get the impression that I don't have a problem in the sex area of my marriage. But, I do. Or did, or sometimes do. There, I said it.

Now, I have to explain it, and that's where it gets hard.

Actually, just so this doesn't sound too horrible, things aren't as bad as they used to be. So, there is light at the end of the tunnel. But things have been very black.

When Bossman and I first got married, we were both very young. Neither of us had ever had sex with anyone else. We still haven't. We were inexperienced, to say the least. So, who's to say what is normal and what isn't when you're that young? We certainly didn't know.

Bossman has always had a strong sex drive. Actually, to be accurate, he's probably just a normal average male, with a normal, average, sex drive. Me? not so much. I have a much harder time getting into a sexual mood. I don't like being touched. That last sentence makes me sad. How does a person not like to be touched? How is it that I don't want my husband touching me? It's just wrong.

So in the beginning, things weren't so good. He wanted sex a lot, I didn't. I think it was a couple of years before I even had orgasm with him. I could give myself one, but with him...I didn't think that would ever happen. One of the biggest problems was communication. I would never think of telling him where to touch me to make me have an "O". So that was a problem. But a bigger part of my problem was, even if Bossman was just going to cuddle with me, I would back away. In my mind, even a cuddle was going to lead to sex and I wasn't in the mood for sex. So, just a cuddle, or a caress would send me scurrying to the edge of the bed. On the other hand, there were times when I thought Bossman was just being overly sensitive by my rejection, that I had given him MORE than enough and I really was a sexual person, he just didn't get me.

kitten says in her blog that CD said, "there's just no satisfying you". I cringed when I read that. It sounds so harsh. Sad thing is, I've said the same thing to Bossman.

Now, for one moment, I'd like to be on kitten and Bossmans side of the coin. To say there is no satisfying you, is unfair. Sexual desire is not gone once you have sex. It's completely normal to want sex the next day. It's human nature to desire sex. Most humans crave human touch. Humans are much happier when they are touched and loved. If our sexual desire was fulfilled once we had sex, we'd only have to have sex to have babies. Because our sexual desire would be fulfilled. Right?

Then there's the rejection. How does it feel to be rejected by the person that is suppose to love you most? Even if that person tells you, "it's not you" how can you not feel rejected? How do you get over the hurt?

But on my side of the coin it feels like I can't do enough. I feel like I gave you sex last night, now you should be good. You should be happy with that. You should be fulfilled. Right?

Now, what about the "pity" sex? What about those times I just gave in, just to get you off my back. I gave in because I didn't want to see the look of hurt and disappointment in your eyes again. Plus, I wanted to shed myself of some of the guilt that comes with denying the person you love, the love and touch that they need and deserve. But, you and I both know, my heart wasn't in it. I also know, the guilt didn't disappear, it only got worse. Is that fair? To either of us?

There are times when I feel like an utter failure. I feel like I'm not a normal person. I feel like I'm defective. My heart and soul are with the man that I love, but I can't give him what he needs. This breaks my heart.

I know what my problem is. Bossman knows what my problem is. Knowing what the problem is, doesn't make it any easier. Plus, I'm not one to use what happened to me in the past to excuse what is happening now. But sometimes you just can't push what happened to you aside and pretend that it didn't happen. Yes, I was sexually abused as a child. I only tell you this so you will understand. I didn't say this to make you feel sorry for me. It was a very long time ago, and I have made peace with it. Pity me not, for I survived and it's made me the person I am today.

Well, this post doesn't have any answers. I have no idea what changed in me. I still have bad times. I still have times when I just don't want to be touched. Nowadays these times seem to be only when I'm hormonal. But I still get those same old "bad" feelings from time to time. Finding out what turns me on was a big step in the right direction. Spanking spiced up our life and made us get a lot closer together. Letting Bossman know that quickies can relieve some sexual tension on days when I'm not in the mood isn't such a bad thing. Quickies don't have to equal "pity" sex. And truthfully, nine times out of ten, once the quickie starts the "bad" feelings start feeling good. Of course, communication is the key.

It truly is a sad place to be, when you can't find that loving feeling with the person you love. It makes you feel like a failure. It's makes you feel like your partner could do so much better with someone else. It makes you question your relationship and your love for your partner. The worst part is, it makes you wonder how your partner could ever love you.

I'm one of the lucky ones. I have a husband that never gave up on me. Bossman stuck with me though all of it. Somewhere along the line I made some self discoveries. I discovered that I am a sexual being. I discovered what makes me tick. Discovering and admitting that I am turned on by spankings is what helped me. It has helped me to communicate things to Bossman that I would never has told him before. It helped us become closer to each other, which in turn, helped me to want to have sex with my husband. My sex drive is in much higher gear than it ever was before. For that, I am truly grateful.

Bossman, I know you will probably read this. When you do, I want you to know, it isn't your fault. It was never your fault. You were a victim. But you were also the hero. You have stayed by me and loved me even when things were rough. I'm sorry you had to go though rejection and hurt and that it was caused by me. If I could take back all that hurt, I would. Since I can't, I can only say, I'm sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you. I love you and I always will.

Thank you for not giving up on me. I think I'm the luckiest person in the world.

As a matter of fact....I know I am.

later.....

BJ

I have a confession to make.

My confession is, I hate giving blowjobs. I KNOW! I can hear the gasping around the world.

People, I've tried. I've tried to like them. I've tried to find my inner slut. You know, the one we all have inside us that makes us feel sexy and erotic. The one that makes blow jobs sound like yummy lollipops and ice cream cones. She's not there. I don't think I have an inner slut. Either that, or she's lost and can't find her way home.

Either way, I don't like blow jobs. My jaw hurts, my cheeks get tired, I gag. Having my head moved back and forth while sucking on my husbands cock doesn't make me feel more submissive, it makes me feel ridiculous. It's just uncomfortable. Believe me when I say, we've tried all ways. We've tried all positions. I just can't get into it. Turns me off, completely.

Needless to say, this does not please Bossman. He's a man, he's a red-blooded, sexy MALE! I've yet to come across a male that doesn't like his cock sucked on. So, once in a great while, I take pity on the man and give a little suck. I usually do this when we are in the shower. I find I can tolerate it much better in the shower. There aren't any weird smells, there aren't any weird tastes, and water makes everything a little more erotic, even if it's something you detest. Ok, I will admit, around christmas time last year, I put some hot chocolate in my mouth and then sucked on him, I will say, that was pretty erotic, and Bossman really like that...but still...

So, tell me, am I the only one? Are there others that feel this way, or am I just a horrible wife? Are there some hidden secrets that nobody has told me that could help me with this problem? Or am I just a weird breed that just can't get into a good blow job?

Feel free to feel sorry for Bossman!

later.......

Raindrops on Roses


Rain drops - Bossman and I love to walk in the rain. A rainy day with a good book, doesn't get better than that.

Roses- my favorite flower

Rosy bottoms- need I say more?

Razor- shaving the "kitty" (sorry Elis) is always fun if Bossman does it for me.

Right arm - Since I'm right handed, my right arm comes in handy.

races- Bossman loves nascar, so I am a fan by default! (Go Jeff Gordon!)

railroads - Again, Bossman has a passion for trains, big and small, so by default, I love the railroad too!

rubbers- very handy if you don't want a baby.

radio - what would I listen to in my car? My self? ewww, boring!

Richard - the name of my beloved Grandfather who passed away in 1988.

Rams - Once more by default, Bossmans favorite football team!

roller skating - This is where Bossman and I met.

Last but not least - redheads - My little man is a red head. He is the sweetest little boy in the world. He's tough as nails on the football field, but cuddley and sensitive at home. I wouldn't trade my red-head in for anything in the world, he is one of my most treasured loves.

Well, my brain is elsewhere today, so this is a very short list. I hope you all have a really Rosy Tuesday!

later......

On the 7th day, God created blogs

This post was written last week in response to Eva's post. I though it was a good time to explain how I came to this crazy blogland. Then last night I go over to Elis's blog and she asks the very question that I answered with this post. I'm willing to give her the credit, but I DID think of this first!

Just so you know, the only reason this wasn't posted sooner was because I got a great spanking and had to share, I mean really, spanking is much more important than how my blog got started....isn't it??

So here is how I came to be in blogland.
I started this blog, March 30th, 2004. When I started this blog, I wasn't concerned with people reading it. I didn't open comments, I didn't even make it public. I just wrote. I didn't think anyone would care what a boring housewife had to say.

I went back and read my old posts. Wow, I was a mess. I seemed to be down a lot. Maybe I only had stuff to write about when it was bad. If you go back and read that stuff, it's really boring. I just wrote about life, as it happened, whenever I felt the urge. Again, I didn't think anyone was reading, so it didn't really matter.

As time marched on, there were times when I didn't write for a long time. Once in awhile I would post something, but generally I didn't bother too much with it. I did eventually open the comments, but I never expected anyone to comment. I made the blog public and just kept writing.

During this time, I was a lurker to many blogs. I didn't comment because I felt like I had nothing important to add. I don't know much, I don't have much experience in the spanking world. I just knew I liked to read what others had to say.

One day, I got the courage to comment. It was probably something simple like, I agree, or bravo, or thanks for the great story. I'm sure it wasn't anything thought provoking. As I go to post the comment, it asks for my link, my blogger link. Wow, should I add it? Would someone actually click on it? What would I do if someone actually read my own blog? Yikes!!! That was a big step.

I did it. I left my link. Someone would read my comment, and if they choose, they could click on my blog. Oh well, I figured they would click on it, read two words, and click right off. I mean really, do I have anything important to add? Not really. July of 2004, I opened the comments. I know this because if you click on the comments, there is one comment from me that says nice blog. It was just me, testing to see if it worked. If you look a few posts later, you'll see a comment from Bossman. Before he commented, I wasn't sure if he read it. I told him about it, but he's not much of a reader, so I didn't think he would be interested in my little blog of nothing.

Then, one day, there was a comment. One of my favorite bloggers, the one where I left my first comment, left me a comment. ME! Oh wow. This blogger, (who has since stopped blogging) was the person that led me to the blogging world. She was in a d/d club on yahoo that I was in. I never left comments there either, but I read her stuff religiously. One day she said she was leaving the club, but if we wanted to keep up with her we could read her blog, and she left the link. I had NO clue what a blog was! Suddenly this whole world of blogging opened up before me. Anyway, she left me a comment. That meant someone was reading my blog. UH OH!

Well, I got braver and started commenting on other blogs. Just that alone started bringing people to my blog. Suddenly I was getting some comments. Then, not to long ago, Bonnie wrote a little piece about my blog. WHAT? Bonnie liked reading my blog? The queen of the spanking blog world liked my blog? And then others, like Mike, quoted something from my blog. Wow, this was exciting. This was cool, this was AWFUL! Suddenly I felt pressure to write something good. Something witty. Something wise. Yikes!!! I hate pressure. I don't think I have talent writing. I just write what I'm thinking. It doesn't always come out pretty. It doesn't always sound smart or funny. My spelling sucks, my punctuation is awful. I don't have the best grammar. So, I got all self conscience. Because NOW, I'm not just writing for myself, I'm writing for others.

But something wonderful happened. Nice people started stopping by. Really nice people that had nice things to say about my blog. Now I'm not one to worry about how many people read my blog. I have 2 counters on my blog, but I hardly ever look at them. Numbers don't really mean that much to me. In reality, the more people that I think are reading, the more self-conscience I become about my writing. So, I don't pay much attention to the numbers. Now, I started reading these nice peoples blogs, and WOW, we had a lot in common. These people know exactly what I'm going through. They have either been there, are there, or are trying to get there. Just like me.
Yes, if your reading this, then I'm talking about you. You guys make this fun.

So, I've decided something. I'm going to continue to write. I want to keep the friends I've made here in bloggerland. You may not gain any wisdom here on this blog. You may not find it funny. My grammer may suck and my spelling may be even worse. I may talk about spanking, or I may talk about dirty laundry. Either way, as long as it stays fun for me, I'll keep doing it. But most of all I'm just glad I have friends, because in the end, isn't nice to know you can come on the computer and find some like-minded people? I can't find that in my "real" world. At least not about spanking!

later.....

Q

We all know the Q's are going to be a little tougher to come up with, but I managed to think of some Q's today.

Quiet: I love the peace and quiet. No tv, no radio, just the sound of breathing makes me happy.

Quotes : I love reading all the famous quotes in Ceecis garden.

Quilts: It's so nice to cuddle under a warm quilt on a chilly winter night.

Quarters: Whenever we go out for pizza, we can keep the little man busy for hours if we have enough quarters to put in a video game.

Questions: How would we ever get the answers if we didn't ask the questions?

Quality: The quality of things is much better than the quantity, which brings me to...

Quantity: When getting a spanking, quantity counts.

Quiz: I love finding a quiz on Eva's blog. Just not the math ones!

Quickie: Sometimes having a quickie before getting up in the morning makes the day that much better.

Quiver: Sometimes those quickies make me quiver.

Quest: My spanking quest has made me much happier in life.

Queen: In case you didn't know, I'm the queen of everything. Even if I wear my crown, my kids don't believe me.

Quit: I guess I'll quit this list now. But isn't it nice when it's quitting time at work? Quitting my job was the best thing I ever did.

Seems Q wasn't so hard to come up with after all!

later.....

FYI


It’s official. Ceeci was correct.

He is a she. Mr. Kittles is really Ms. Kittles.

We took (him) her to the vet this morning to get neutered. Turns out, (he) she needs to be spayed instead.

Ceeci was correct when she said that tri-colored calico cats are always female. The vet took one look at (him) her without even looking at (his) her butt and determined that indeed he is a she.

Surprise!

I just wanted you all to know I looked at that cats butt more times than I care to admit. I studied photos on the internet to determine what I was looking for. All I really know now is I would not make a good vet.

That and, my cat is a girl!

And I wondered why the little one wouldn’t answer to (his) her name. She was offended to be called a MR.!


Enough of the cat already. Guess what happened this weekend. No, it wasn’t a spanking. Why would you even think there would be a spanking?

Friday I got my hair cut. Oh, and I look cute too. It’s a lot shorter but still, I look cute. And yes, it’s definitely blonde. (elis)

Anyway, on Saturday Bossman and I went to a parents night out party for football. I thought I was looking very cute. My hair looked cute, I had on cute pants. I even had a lacy blouse that I bought last month that I haven’t worn yet, that looked cute.

We get to the dinner and it’s a lot of football people. We meet up with some of the parents from our team. One of the other couples shows up and ~sigh~ she’s wearing the same blouse!

Oh well, I think I looked cuter than she did. Yep, Bossman says I did, so that's really all that matters!

That and my cat is a girl!

later..........

Happy Birthday Paul!

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I remembered the presents.


I got some balloons. I even got candles.

And lots of cake too!











So, lets have a party and celebrate Paul, because he is our Friend and a mentor to ALL!

Happy Birthday Sweet Man! Extra BIG HUGS on your special day!

Grace

wonderful, loveable, super-fun, very good day

Yesterday was terrific!

First there was this great post. I laughed my ass off! It was so funny and sweet. Just made my day complete. (I'm a poet and didn't know it...)

Ok, I thought my day was complete, until Bossman showed up at lunch time.

Here's the deal, I didn't have a very good Tuesday. Actually, my day was great, but I didn't get anything done. I pretty much lazed around, getting drunk on blogs. Thats right people, I said it, drunk on blogs. You know that feeling?? The one where you've been on the computer for WAY too long and you can barely get out of the computer chair? Your butt has completely melted into the seat of the chair, becoming one with the chair. You've held your pee in so long, that once you stand, you somehow have to make it to the bathroom without having an accident. The area around your computer looks like snack hell, ding dong wrappers, pepsi cans, chip crumbs, the breakfast bowl from 6 hours ago.

Well, I don't know if you realize this, but there is a hang over after being blog drunk. Believe me people when I say, it's not pretty. The drunken blog hang over consists of me being extra cranky. All that junk food, limited movement, (oh, my hands and fingers are really in shape!) and eyeball dryness, really take a toll on my body. So Tuesday night, with blog hangover in full effect, I was CRANKY!

Bossman was not to pleased with the results of me spending all day on the computer. Not only was I a cranky lady, but the house was a mess. I don't understand the problem really, I mean, why make the bed, it's just gonna get messed up again that night. And so what if Bossman doesn't have clean underwear, I didn't have time to buy him some more. (I KNOW, I just posted about dirty laundry. But Eva did point out how very inconsistent I am.)

As a result, Bossman informed me, he would be home to take care of me tomorrow. Somehow, I got the feeling this is NOT the kind of taken care of that would bode well for my bottom.

So yesterday, after a wonderful morning of reading blogs, I figured I better get some stuff done. After reading Evas blog, I was in a terrific mood so cleaning was a breeze. I threw laundry in, cleaned the bedroom, made the bed, you know, all that fun stuff. I figured if I made an effort, things might not go so bad later...if you know what I mean.

Bossman did come home for lunch. I had hoped he might have forgotten, but I was pretty sure he didn't. He saw that I had made an effort, but after he was done eating, he said those inevitable words...we need to talk. This while walking down the hall to the bedroom. Uh oh. This wasn't looking good for me.

I spent the next 15 minutes over his lap being "talked" to. Bossman likes to use the woodenspoon and paintstirrer for these so called "talks". He communicates very well with them, I might add.

I didn't have much to say after that. Pretty much ow and ouch were the only things coming out of my mouth.

30 minutes later, I was at my sons school. It was a room mother tea, so we could discuss with the teachers about parties and such. I had to sit on those yucky metal chairs. Oh yeah baby, fun, fun, fun!

But you know something, looking back on yesterday, I only look back with fondness. It really was a great day. I mean really, great friend writes a nice post about you, hubby spanks your butt. Who could ask for anything more????

later.....

Perfectly Prominant P

Today is Gratitude Tuesday! In celebration of P I wrote a little story. Enjoy!



Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. Peter Piper privately peered over the peppers and saw Pattie. Pattie poked her pert patooty playfully out. Pattie was predominately a party girl, but Peter was a party pooper. Peters palm itched to paddle Patties patooty. Peter predicted Pattie would protest. But Peter persisted. Pattie was placed over Peters pickle barrel. Patties piercing protest was heard practically every place. Pattie professed her purity but Peter persisted. Peters paddle popped Patties patooty plenty. Peter pronounced Patties patooty perfect. Suddenly Peters package poked partially out. After Peter paddled Pattie, Peter poked Pattie with his penis. Peter and Pattie produced Peggy and Patrick.

Peter purposely paddled Patties patooty patiently, particularly pouncing on problems that plagued Pattie. Peter and Pattie were pleasantly pleased with their peculiar predicament. Their permanent pleasure was pleasing to all parties.

Peter and Pattie lived happily ever after.

Only one question remains...

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

Other P's that I just love:
Penis
packages
pens
plans
penguins
power
penetration
paddles
ponds
plays
programs
pencils
plans
planets
powder
plants
pure
prizes
privacy
people
party

P's I'm not so fond of:
poop
pimples
pricks
porcupines
pennies (they just annoy me..OK?)

later....

aftermath

This weekend was much better than usual. If you missed why, check out the previous post for details. Needless to say, after a hard spanking, I tend to behave myself better than usual.

Saturday morning was a football game. We lost, but we did make a touchdown, so all was not in vain. Problem is, as I was walking up the steps to the field, I tweaked my back out of place. My lower back is now hurting. My mother was at the game and when I told her what happened she insisted I take some Aleve. I've never tried it, and just so you know, it didn't work. She gave me 4. Didn't work. I hate taking pills or medication of any kind, so taking 4 Aleve was big for me. If I'm going to take something, I wish it would work. Yesterday, I took Advil. That worked somewhat. Oh well, I spent a lot of time yesterday in the recliner with a pillow under my back, it seemed to be the only way I could be comfortable. Sitting at the computer for a long period of time didn't work to well. I managed to sit here for a while yesterday though, I just couldn't watch one more second of football and racing, which is all Bossman wanted to do.

Today is better, but it is still sore. Adding to the soreness is my neck, which apparently, I slept on wrong. As my mama used to say, if it ain't one thing, it's two.

One thing about this weekend is how lovely Bossman and I got along. Bossman claims I "stole" an orgasm from him. How does one steal an orgasm, you might ask? Very easily, in my case. But I never thought of it as "stealing". I just had to laugh when he said that to me yesterday.

Here's the story. Saturday night I was horny. OK, I said it, horny! Even if my back was hurting, my butt was hurting in a good way from the night before. So I was thinking about it all day. You KNOW what happens when you think about spankings all day, or relive the spanking you got the night before. So, Saturday night, I asked Bossman if he would come to bed with me for awhile. Most of the time he will come to bed with me until I'm asleep, and then he gets up. But I wasn't sure if he would come to bed with me this night because he got a new computer game and I know he was anxious to have some time alone with the computer. But he was happy to come to bed with me.

We immediately got in our spooning position. I reached back to rub his cock. This has become our signal for, yes, I'm interested in having sex. So, he reached to the front to start rubbing me.

Since I was already hot and bothered, it didn't take long for me to release a nice orgasm. Ahhh, the release! Just what I needed. Didn't help the back much though. I wasn't sure how I was going to help Bossman with his need, but I didn't need to worry, he said he was fine. Good thing, cuz I was wiped out by now. So he went to his game, and I went to sleep. That, my friends, is how you steal orgasms.

Guess I better do some commuity service for my crimes. Actually, I'm thinking I deserve a spanking for that. I mean seriously, stealing is a serious crime!

Too bad the law is out of town today. Guess I won't be able to pay up until tomorrow. Actually, that's a good thing, I don't think my back could bend over to take anything today.

later........

Eva's Dream (almost) came true

Well, well, well! There were some interesting developments that happened Friday night.

Here's the run down. Bossman was away all day at a seminar. He came home about 5ish. He had some interesting things to share with little man, and he barely said a word to me when he walked in. Highly unusual for him. I usually get first dibs on Bossman. I was on the computer, so I didn't think to much about it, besides he was really excited to talk to little man. After a few minutes he did come over and give me some attention, but I was kinda cranky, and he was interrupting something I was doing on the computer. After a few minutes, Bossman came in and asked to get on the computer. Again, I was a little cranky and didn't want to get off the computer. I got off anyway, but I was huffy about it.

A little later, I was walking through the kitchen and noticed that Bossman had left a bunch of stuff on the counter. Normally this doesn't bother me, but I had spent a good part of the afternoon cleaning up the house, and it annoyed me that he had made a mess on the counter. I might have, kind of, made a snippy comment to him in passing.

About an hour later, little man got invited out to dinner with a friend of his. The wildchild went to a football game. Low and behold, we suddenly were home alone. This was quite unexpected. As soon as the wildchild walked out the front door, Bossman said, we have a date in the bedroom. Normally, a date in the bedroom is a good thing, even a great thing, but I could tell by his tone, this was not one of those times.

I tried whining about it. I tried seducing him out of it. (ok, truth is, the seducing part was only half-assed) I could tell he was having no part of it. He was NOT a happy camper. I sort of forgot about how I was acting earlier in the evening. Bossman, however, did not. He told me how happy he was that we had this unexpected time together, for he was NOT happy with the way I had acted. Before the actual festivities began, the phone rang. I happily ran to the other room to get it. When I came back, the big paint stirrer and the wooden spoon were sitting next to Bossman, who was also sitting on the bed, not looking very happy that he had to wait for me. Uh oh, this did not look good for my bottom.

Bossman proceeded to take down my pants and panties. This was only after I stood in front of him which frankly, I didn't do to willingly. Once I saw he was really serious I decided I better play along. Only this wasn't going to be play.

After bending over his lap, which means I'm over one knee with the top half of my body on the bed, he proceeded with the paint stirrer. Now, lets get one thing clear, the paint stirrer hurts, but not at first. It is light and wooden, so it stings but not unbearable. It's a great warm up. Let's get one other thing perfectly clear, he wasn't going to go easy on me. So the paint stirrer was used harder than usual.


Here's one thing I don't like. I don't like answering questions when being spanked. It's hard for me to hear, over the slap, slap, slap, on my behind, not to mention it's hard to concentrate on anything while having your butt spanked hard. Furthermore, who can hear over all that yelping and whining? Unfortunately, Bossman didn't really care about that. He kept asking me questions like, do you understand that you acted badly? Do you think it was right to make snide comments about the counter? Did you think that you were acting like a spoiled brat about the computer?

How does one that is being spanked hard respond to such questions? Do you fess up? If you fess up, how will this affect your bottom? Do you try and talk your way out of it? Do you try and explain away the poor behavior?

I decided my best defense was to fess up. Really people, I acted really poorly. There was no reason at all to get so grumpy about the counter. He had only left a couple of things there, and I hadn't even given him a chance to clean it up. My attitude about the computer was also bad. I had been on the computer a lot that day. I was only playing a game from the website Eva suggested. (Thanks Eva, I love that site.) I wasn't doing anything important, and he wanted to check his e-mail from work, which really is more important that a game, right?


So back to the spanking. He warmed my butt up real good with the PS. (I'm tired of typing paint stirrer.) It was really starting to burn. Next thing I know, I feel the hard deep thunck of the wooden spoon. Oh man, that really hurt. I really thought this would be the time I would cry. I was close. It was hurting, bad! I actually got to the point where I couldn't feel it anymore, but then he would it a spot that he hadn't hit as much, and I would feel it again.

Ok, I didn't cry. But on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give this one an 8. It was one of my worst spankings. Afterward, he took away my panties, and I had to wear my jeans without them. My butt was so sore that it felt stretched out. It didn't feel swollen, just really tight, and hot. Sitting was not very comfortable. It actually hurt when I stood up and tried to walk.

Afterwards, I was ready to jump his bones, but we hadn't eaten dinner, and we weren't sure how long the little man would be gone. But don't you worry, after everyone was safely in bed we had a long talk. We snuggled together in bed. When we have these conversations we usually caress each others, you know, parts. We spoon together, with me in front, and I reach behind and find his. He can reach in front with one hand and grab a nipple, plus use his other hand to find my spot. While touching, we talked about different things. I told him how much the spanking hurt, but that it really was the perfect way to handle things. We both realize that because of children, it can rarely be handled so quickly. Everything was working on our side. I wasn't even thinking I would get a spanking, and if I got one like I did last night, every time I acted so selfishly, I probably wouldn't act like that. At least I would probably think twice before acting like that.

In case you're wondering, yes, we had the best sex afterward. My butt rubbing against him as he's pushing in and out of me. It doesn't get any better than that!

Now, Eva, could you wish that I won the lotto, because last night came pretty darn close to what you wished for. Plus, I could really use the money!

later.....

Just because

I realized today that I have posted something everyday this week. That my friends is a new record for me!

I don't have anything witty or funny to write, but I did want to finish the week with a post sooooooo....


I went to my sons parent teacher conference yesterday. My son is in the 3rd grade. He reads at 5th grade level. He's above average on all the subjects! HOORAY for my baby!

Just thought I would brag a little. But don't tell him I called him a baby.

Also, Bossman hasn't given me a spanking all week. Just thought you should know. For most people, this would seem like a good thing, but we all know better, right?

Finally, we're out of toilet paper. Again, just thought you should know.


Don't expect a post from me this weekend. Weekends just don't work well for blogging when there are children milling about.

Well, if this post wasn't enough to excite you, go back and read about dirty laundry. I mean, really, is there anyone that doesn't have dirty laundry?

Have a great weekend!
later.......

dirty laundry


I was only joking when I said I would do my next post on laundry. Apparently, you all are fascinated by laundry. Therefore I feel it is my duty and honor to write a post about laundry.

First of all, what is it about dirty laundry? It's obviously dirty. It smells bad. There are stains. Dirty laundry can tell you a lot about a person. First of all, you can usually tell if it's a male or female. You can tell if it's a baby, child or adult. You can probably even tell if it's a teenager. If you dig further, you find out, what kind of perfume they wear, what kind of deodorant they wear, what they had for lunch or dinner.

If you look at my sons laundry, you would find lots of grass stains, every pair of jeans with a holes in the knees, lots of paint and marker stains, and always, always, always, you will find food stains. You will easily be able to tell what he had for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You most certainly will be able to tell that he plays sports. As with most little boys, you will smell that dirty dog smell that he so sweetly smells like after a hard day of play. Mixed in the laundry basket, you will find, army guys, hot wheels, Star Wars figures, and plastic toy guns. This is my son.

My daughters laundry is a whole different story. My daughter chooses to wear thongs. There has been great controversy over whether a good parent would allow their precious teen wear such a sexy piece of clothing. My short thought on that is...I can't stop her. She buys her own underwear, and she would wear them whether I said yes or no. She started wearing them before I even knew she wore them. Her friends would buy them for her. Since I'm pretty positive she isn't sexually active, I am not to concerned about the thongs. So, in her laundry, you would find thongs, you would find the hormonal smell of teen female. You'll find miniskirts and pink striped socks. You would also find secret notes from her friends. Notes about the worst teacher in the school, the cutest boy in P.E. class and (unfortunately) which girl in school is pregnant. Her laundry tells the story of her life. It's chaotic and grown-up, and it's little girly and sweet. It tells the story of a girl child trying to become a woman. This is my daughter.

Bossman has boring laundry. It's smells extremely manly. It has the occasional crumpled dollar bill, or a few stray coins. You might think the man was having an affair because you could easily find scraps of paper with a woman's name and phone number. Lucky for me, I KNOW better. These scraps of paper do give you a glimpse into his "other" life. Names and numbers of people that he talks to and comes in contact when I'm not around. This is my Bossman.

So, what does my laundry say about me? What would a person find out about me if they went through my dirty laundry? Would they notice my tigger tee-shirt with the holes in it that I got when I was pregnant with my son and I still love to sleep in? Would you notice the food stains that I always spill down the front of my shirt? What about the receipts that I always leave in my pockets? If you read those you would know what stuff I buy at the store. Like the tampons and the kitty litter. Would you notice that there is only one bra? Would you notice that I wear jean and tee shirts? Would you smell my favorite perfume, "sweet honesty"? This is me.

Laundry, like life, gets dirty. There are plenty of times when my life smells. Sometimes the smell is yucky, sometimes it's sweet perfume. Life also gets stained. Births and deaths, stain our lives in permanent ways. Ways that won't come out in the wash. Heartbreak and happiness, fade in and out of our lives just like the stains that we get out with a little "spray and wash".

If you took a look at my laundry 6 months or 6 years ago, you would have found something different than today. Laundry, like life, changes over time. Soon my daughter will have grown up laundry. Maybe she'll have the newlywed laundry. The kind with lots of sheets and towels. Maybe she'll have the laundry of a tired new mom with baby spit up on every one of her shoulders. Soon my sons clothes will get bigger. Someday he will have teen boy clothes. Maybe instead of grass stains, I'll find notes from girls. Maybe he'll leave his student id in his pocket. Maybe I'll still find some football sweaty clothes. Maybe instead of the dirty dog smell, I'll smell the hint of cologne. Maybe...

What will the laundry from Bossman and I look like in the future? I don't know. I hope it will have stains from graduation cake, stains from the wine at the wedding toast, and new grandbaby spit up stains. I hope it will still smell like sex and old spice, and sweet honesty. And maybe, if you look closely at the bottom of the basket, you might just find, mixed in with the clothes and socks and underwear...

The backscratcher that I once again hid from Bossman!
later.....

The ramblings of a bored woman

I have nothing big to write about. There has been great sex, 3 mornings in a row, but no spankings to report. I've had a blog block for the last couple of weeks. Hence the reason for no new posts. Thank goodness for Tuesday, or my blog might start growing dusty.

So I thought I would give you a little peek into my everyday life. This is what has been going on, and most of it is boring, so feel free to click on a link on my sidebar if you feel yourself nodding off.

First there is football. The season is half over. Remember, Bossman is the coach and this is his very first coaching experience. I feel so sorry for all you teachers, for dealing with parents is the WORST! Everybody wants their child to be the star. Let my child run the ball, let my child be the quarterback. SHEEZ, people, get a grip, your child is NOT an athlete. Your child doesn't pay attention. Your child doesn't do what the coach tells him to do. Your child probably doesn't even LIKE football. Oh, and by the way, just because your child was the star of the baseball team, doesn't mean he will be the star of the football team.

The first half of the season was a bust. Our team was worse than the bad-news-bears. They lost all their games. They couldn't even score ONE touchdown. My poor husband had coaches quit on him, the team mother quit, parents accused him of yelling at their little darlings. One of the mothers actually told my husband he was running the team like the NFL. Uh, if he ran the team like that, why didn't we win any games? By the way, most of the trouble was from 2 parents. The rest love my husband and think he's doing a great job. And NO, he's not trying to run the team like the NFL.

(yes this is a picture of Bossman and my little man on the sideline. Little man had just had the wind knocked out of him so he came out of the game. Bossman and little man were waiting for the next play so little man could get back in the game.) I don't think identities are being revealed. At least I hope not.



But my husband is the king of cool. He is such a great guy, and a great coach. Yes, the team wasn't fairing well, but they were mostly new kids, they have a new coach and we played REALLY tough teams. No, Bossman did not yell at any kids, and he got the coaching staff back on track. He had to get one of the coaches to step down because he was such a negative force on the team. One of the ladies on the team stepped up to be team mother, and I am helping her plan the after season party and order the trophies. Yes, they get trophies even if they are the suckiest team in the league. Because they are winners, even if they don't win.

Well, last weekend we WON! Yup, our team (who hadn't even made ONE touchdown)actually won the game, with 2 touchdowns! We were so excited! You would have thought we won the superbowl. It was the best day! The kids were on top of the world. My own little man (who plays center) was sure to point out that if HE hadn't hiked the ball perfectly, they would NOT have made the touchdowns.

On to the rest of my life. I was looking for a job. I mean, it would be nice to have some money for christmas. Plus, the wildchild is having a 16th birthday next month, and you know I have to make it special. So I'm stressing about money. Someone gave me a lead on a job. I talked to the people. I got hired. Good news, right? As soon as I found out what day I was to start, I freaked out. I had a major panick attack. I couldn't do it. This particular job was going to involve going into businesses, cold turkey, so to speak. Once I realized what I was going to have to do, I freaked. This has never happened to me before. What the heck was my problem? I tried to talk myself into realizing I can do anything I set my mind too. I really tried. But Bossman (my hero) saw how extremely upset I became, he immediately said, NOPE. Not gonna happen. He told me to forget the job. He wanted me to stay home until I find something I comfortable with. He said not to worry about money, we would muddle through as we always do. He said the stress wasn't worth it. Am I the luckiest person ever?

I can't get over feeling so guilty. I should be out there making a few bucks to help our family. I should be brave enough to take on new challenges. But I'm not. I hate new things. I shouldn't say that I hate all new things. I love new adventures, as long as it involves me and Bossman.

Once when I was in high school, I had a job selling newspaper subscriptions. They would drop me on a corner and tell me to canvas the area. By-my-self. I would freak out. I would walk around the neighborhood. I couldn't make myself go to one of the doors. NO way! So I would lie, I would tell them that nobody was interested in a subscription.

That's how I am, that's how I tick. I am a pretty personable person. I can easily work behind a counter. I have no problem dealing with people in that capacity. But make me do something cold turkey, I will die. My heart will race, my face will get hot, my legs will twitch. My stomach will hurt so bad, I will have to have a bathroom nearby. But I hate being that way. I hate that part of myself.

So, that's whats going on in my part of the world. It's neither exciting or glamorous. But it is what is.

Next post: the exciting world of laundry

later....

O is for...

O is for the orange juice that I drank today

O is for the octopus that I saw on Survivor

O is for the octagon that forms my stop sign

O is for the orchid that I placed on my grandmas casket

O is for the on button on my friend George (he gives great massages too)

O is for the off button to the lights in my room

O is for the oxygen that I breathe in every day

O is for Oprah, who I date every day at 4

0 is for opening, the opening of a play, opening a new present, opening up to your partner

O is for Oscar the grouch, he's my childhood and my childrens childhood.

O is for the outragous life I seem to live

O is for organization, which I have little of

O is for office supplies, pencils, paper, rules and such

O is for my take-out order of chinese food

O is for the offer of help when life gets too much

O is for the ordinary people

O is for the only man I ever loved

O is for the orgasm that you gave me today

O is for October!

later.......

Why?

Why do we do "this thing we do"? Why do we like it? Why does a grown woman, an independant woman, a strong woman, want someone to spank her butt.
Why?

I believe that my spanking journey is just that, a journey. The thing about this journey, I've begun to realize, is that it doesn't have a destination. I am on a constant quest for knowledge, about myself and about my partner. I've learned so much about who I am and who I want to be. I have learned to tell Bossman things that I held so tightly in my heart, I didn't think I would ever share it with anyone.

I may never know the whys. That is hard for me to accept. I am the kind of person that wants to know why. I fight against why all the time. If the why isn't good enough, then I question my motives, I question my thoughts and my feelings, and then I start doubting myself. If I start doubting myself then I feel the need to explain myself. I need to know, in my heart of hearts, that this is OK. If I can't get an answer to the why, then will I forever be questioning myself? Will I forever wonder if what I'm doing is OK? I don't like thinking that I don't have an answer for the why. If I don't have the answer, have I lost control? Have I lost my way? And isn't spanking suppose to be about losing control? Isn't it about handing over control to someone else? Sure, I've given the consent. But does that mean I've given away part of myself? I sure hope not.

My journey so far has led me to believe that I may never know the answer to why. If that means I've lost control, then so be it. I trust Bossman enough to give him control. If that makes me weak, fine. I'll take weak. As long as I know who I am and what I need, then I guess the why doesn't matter after all.

Or does it?

later.......

note: I thought you all didn't love me anymore because I posted this yesterday, yet had no comments! The one time I post something and don't go and view my blog because I was in a hurry, I find out that since I wrote part of this a long time ago, I forgot to change the date, therefore it posted back on the date that I first started writing it. (hows that for a run on sentence, teachers?) ANYWAY, lesson to you all, check your dates before posting! Really, this blonde thing is getting OLD!

not in the mood for N

I really wasn't in the mood to write a list for N. There are tons of great things to be thankful for that start with N, like nipples and naughty and naked. But my list seemed like the same ole' thing, and kinda boring.

Therefore I would like to take this opportunity to be grateful for blogging. (I missed the b's )

Blogging is such a great invention. It amazes me how many people take the time to write a blog. I have gained some very valuable information by reading blogs. I have found helpful advice and some really weird stuff too.

Sometimes I find that I invest my emotions into other peoples blogs. I find myself feeling sad for them, happy for them, angry at them, or worried about them. I've found that some blogs are true to life, and some are fantasy. I've learned not to read too much into a blog. I mean really, unless you know the person personally, in real life, how can you know if it's true or not. I've learned something from every blog I've read. So to you, great bloggers, I thank you!

Isn't it interesting how invested we all get into this blogging world. Suddenly when I get on the computer it's all about checking on all my peeps! (0k, that's what Bossman says when he sees me head for the computer.

Yes, I feel you all are my peeps. You are the people that understand where I've been, where I want to be, and where I'm going. Because you've all been there. Maybe you're just starting out. Maybe you're exactly where I want to be. Maybe you're right where I'm at, right now. Point is, it doesn't matter, because I learn something from each of you. Even if you're not real, even if you're just a writer, writing stories, I learn from those too. I learn what I like and what I don't like. I learn what makes me tick.

Thank you all for helping me to learn and grow. Thank you all for your wonderfully supportive comments. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I would list each of you by name, but the list would be long and I would surely forget someone. Therefore, I would encourage anyone reading this to check out my links. These links are my favorites. I've got a whole lot more blogs that I check into once in awhile, but if you've made it on my link list, than this post was for you. You are the most special ones. You are the ones I read almost daily. If I could I would give you all a big hug!!

One more person that I cannot forget to mention. Most of you know this man. He has the kindest,gentlest spirit. He doesn't have a blog, but we know him and love him. His Mel, was the luckiest person around. From the little glimpses into his life that he leaves on each blog, we know that his greatest love was and always will be, His Mel. I have never read a negative comment from him EVER! So, Paul, thank you for reading my blog. Thank you so much for your kind and gentle words. Thank you for your words of wisdom. Thank you Paul, thank you!

Well, that's it. For me, it just wasn't an N kind of day!

later......

it takes time

It takes time to develop relationships. So why do we feel the need to hurry things along in life? Elis talked about wasting time in her relationship by not communicating things to her husband. Same thing happened to me. In my situation, I think it just took that much time before I was willing to share such a deep, dark, not exactly normal, secret. For such a long time, I thought it was wrong and weird to want a spanking. To tell someone would cast me in a different light. It would make me "unperfect". Not that I am perfect, but that I was different from the norm.

I've often thought that sometimes it just might take people that long to get comfortable enough to communicate at such a deep level. How did I know how my husband would react if I asked something so, out of the box, of him? Maybe he would have thought I was too different, and decide to leave. He might look at me differently. He might not love me anymore. Lucky for me, none of these things came to light. Lucky for me, my husband loves me no matter what sort of kink I might have.

Sometimes it makes me sad that people don't give relationships enough time to grow. We have such a throw-away society. Sometimes I feel like our society doesn't care so much for "long term relationships". Shows like Who wants to marry a millionaire and My big fat fiancee mock the long term relationship. They make you believe that love can be found in a short period of time and that you will be happy. How can anyone truly know someone in such a short period of time? How can you open up and tell all your deep dark thoughts to another person without knowing them very well. In todays world, people have no problem with divorcing or leaving relationships, without even giving them a chance to thrive. Had I given up on my relationship when things got rough, I would have lost my soul mate. Because I chose to stay with my relationship, I learned how much Bossman really, truly loves me.

People don't seem to have the patience to endure the hard times. Oh, don't get me wrong, I don't think people should stay in abusive, hurtful, relationships. But I do think people should not be so quick to get out when things get a little tough. I think they should take the time to work on it. If they don't, they could lose the best thing that ever happened to them. If they take the time to work on it, and it still doesn't work, well, at least then, they know they tried.

If your still reading this, then take this from me. Don't give up so easily on something so important. When the going gets tough, don't immediatly bail. Work on it. Communicate. Take time to think. If you give up too soon, you could be giving up something more precious than gold. The very thing that you've been trying to find, could be right in front of you. But if you give up, you could lose it forever.

later.....