Can you believe I thought today was Monday???? Thank goodness I went to check out some other blogs today and saw all the K's floating around. Believe it or not, I had this post ready last week, and here I am lagging behind! I do have a good reason. REALLY, I do. Bossman stayed home this morning. That's all I'm saying...for now. *wink wink*
Anyway, on to the K's. These are just some of the things I'm grateful for today. But mostly I'm grateful for Bossman. And spankings. And school. Oh, I forgot I've got a list of K's, so here they are!!!
Kittens are great. We are having a blast with ours. He's such fun to watch. He's curious about the world around us, yet he's just like a toddler, getting into everything. He's amused by a shoe box, yet he's content to sleep where ever he gets tired. Did I mention how cute he is??
Kites are so much fun. I remember the wonder in my childrens eyes when we took them to fly a kite for the first time. I remember them holding on to the string extra tight, so as not to let it fly away.
Do you remember drinking Kool-aid when you were a kid? My mom would never let us drink soda, but there was always plenty of Kool-aid on hand. My favorite flavor? Pink lemonade.
Bossman is the keeper of my heart.
What would I do without my kids? They make me laugh, they make me cry. They are a gift from God. **Update, my daughter just called and landed the lead part in the school play!
Kit-kats are one of my favorite candybars. I like to eat them by layers, biting off the top layer first and working my way down. Come to think of it, I tend to eat alot of stuff that way. Some say that if you take apart your food while eating it makes you a better lover. Not sure if that is true, I'll have to ask Bossman about that one.
Hugs and kisses are a great way to show how much you love someone. I'm lucky, I get hugs and kisses A LOT! My son never forgets to give me hugs and kisses before school. My daughter hates giving me affection, but I think she likes it and won't admit it. Of course Bossman gives me as many hugs and kisses as possible, and I really enjoy a nice hot kiss from him.
The knowledge that there are others in the world that enjoy spankings as much as I do makes me HAPPY. How did I ever come to be this happy and comfortable in my spanking life without the internet and the knowledge that others don't think I'm weird? Knowledge is a great thing.
A lot of people consider spanking kinky. I used to think that kinky was a bad word. Not any more, I LOVE kinky!
Well, have a great day. I know I am!
later........
Superman
This is how I feel about Bossman. He is definitely my Superman!
Unfortunately, this has not been happening at my house. Life has taken such a busy turn that Bossman has not had a moment to think about us. The good news is, Bossman has been doing some great things in business that financially could be great for us. But that means the d/d has still been in the back seat. It's ok for now, I totally understand, but it's still hard. I think it's dragging me down. I was so looking forward to school starting, but things just haven't fallen into place. Oh well!
But with all that said, Bossman is still my Superman.
Have a great weekend everyone!
HUGS!
later..........
The "J's"
I've been thinking a lot about all the things to be grateful for that start with J. I had a bunch of great ones, and now that I finally have a chance to sit down and type it out, I forgot them all!
Let's see if I can come up with anything.
My son. My sons name starts with J. He is such a blessing. He makes me laugh all the time. He's smart, he's funny, he's cute. He smells like a dirty dog when he comes home from football. He's the sweetest little man I know. He's extremely sensitive, and every night he prays for the sick and hungry children in the world. When the football team has to run, you will most likely find my son helping the little boy that is the slowest, cheering him on, and pushing him to the end. My son is my blessing.
Juice. I love orange juice. It's like my coffee in the morning. It peps me up and brightens my day. My mom wouldn't buy orange juice because it was too expensive. No matter how much money we have or don't have, juice is always in the house.
Jasmine. I love the smell of jasmine. It is calm and peaceful. What more needs to be said?
Joy. Life would be so unhappy without it.
Jam. I just love strawberry jam on an English muffin. Goes great with my juice
Junk food. (sung to the tune of "Favorite things", from the Sound of Music) Whip cream and chocolate, ice cream and strudel, cookies and candy and snickerdoodles. Pizza and popcorn and ju-ju bees...these are a few of my favorite things.
Last, but never least...
Jesus I don't usually like to talk about religion in this blog. I find it hard to mix religion and spanking. But the J day would not be complete if I didn't say how grateful I am that I know Jesus. I believe He died for me. I believe that I am here today because of Him. I would not be who I am without Him. Enough said.
Hope you all have a great "J" day!!!!!
later......
Let's see if I can come up with anything.
My son. My sons name starts with J. He is such a blessing. He makes me laugh all the time. He's smart, he's funny, he's cute. He smells like a dirty dog when he comes home from football. He's the sweetest little man I know. He's extremely sensitive, and every night he prays for the sick and hungry children in the world. When the football team has to run, you will most likely find my son helping the little boy that is the slowest, cheering him on, and pushing him to the end. My son is my blessing.
Juice. I love orange juice. It's like my coffee in the morning. It peps me up and brightens my day. My mom wouldn't buy orange juice because it was too expensive. No matter how much money we have or don't have, juice is always in the house.
Jasmine. I love the smell of jasmine. It is calm and peaceful. What more needs to be said?
Joy. Life would be so unhappy without it.
Jam. I just love strawberry jam on an English muffin. Goes great with my juice
Junk food. (sung to the tune of "Favorite things", from the Sound of Music) Whip cream and chocolate, ice cream and strudel, cookies and candy and snickerdoodles. Pizza and popcorn and ju-ju bees...these are a few of my favorite things.
Last, but never least...
Jesus I don't usually like to talk about religion in this blog. I find it hard to mix religion and spanking. But the J day would not be complete if I didn't say how grateful I am that I know Jesus. I believe He died for me. I believe that I am here today because of Him. I would not be who I am without Him. Enough said.
Hope you all have a great "J" day!!!!!
later......
New addition
So I bet you didn't know I was expecting a new additon to my family. On Friday, the new additon arrived! We have a bouncing baby boy! He weighs in at 5 ounces. He's got green eyes. He's actually 9 weeks old and he's just about the cutest kitten EVER!!! We've been trying to think of names all weekend, but we haven't really come up with anything permenent. Right now we are calling him Mr. Kittles. But none of us can remember to call him that and we end up calling him kitty. So any name suggestions would be great!
Enough kitty talk for now. I bet you all think I've been holding out on you all and I've gotten some good spankings. Nope. Nothing, nada, zip, zero, zilch!
No fair! I've been really naughty. I've been sassy. I've been moody. I've been very very bratty. So now that school has started I've been anxiously waiting for my due punishment. But poor Bossman has been super busy. Not able to come home like he usually can. Not able to take care of business here at home. sniff sniff!
Bossman promises that soon we will be back on track. Hopefully this week will be the week to get things going again.
Now, do you think I should clean the bathroom today? Or should I make it extra messy so he will HAVE to spank me? These are the questions that must run thru a spankos mind. I know they run through mine!
Have a great week everyone!
later......
Update: YES, that is my kitty! I am so proud of myself! I FINALLY figured out how to post a picture! Can't figure out how to do it from the net, but I'm getting there. Sometimes it's a real curse being blonde and all!!!
here's the thing....
Ok, Ok, so I ruffled a few feathers with the teachers, Elis and Eva. All that excitement about school starting, well, they just didn't appreciate it.
So, I feel guilty. I mean, How was I suppose to know that my countdown to freedom, was their countdown to confinement? That my bliss over having getting my butt spanked, meant the end of their vacation?
If you read her blog today, you know what a horrible summer she had. I mean really horrible. She slept late, read the paper, took naps, worked out, played on the computer, oh and she found out she's a spanko. If you ask me, boring.
But really, I shouldn't be so happy about this turn of affairs. I shouldn't take joy out of reading all my blogs in peace and quiet, without having to worry about little eyes reading over mommies shoulder. Or worrying that a blog might have a red butt on display the moment it pops on the screen. I really shouldn't take joy out of drinking my juice and watching Regis and Kelly, seeing as how all summer, the juice was gone before I got up, and instead of Reeg, I got Spongebob. Nope, I shouldn't take any joy out of having those little eyes and ears at school, so that I don't have to hear for the one billionth time, MOMMY, I'm bored!!!
Now for the serious part.
I'm sorry, truly, I am. Elis, Eva, and all the other teachers out there, I bow to you. You do great works. You teach the minds of our children. You don't get paid nearly enough for the jobs you do. You have the future in the palm of your hand. It's up to you to teach these children so that they may grow up to be great things. It's up to you to mold and shape these little minds. I truly respect and honor teachers. Instead of paying millions to a guy to play baseball we should be paying you millions to teach our children. So thank you. Thank you for doing your job and doing it well. Thank you for taking the time to teach our children! Thank you, thank you, thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
Serious part over.
Time for me to turn on Regis, drink my juice and read my blogs! So many blogs, so little time.
(Ok, now I'm doing the mommy happy dance!!!!) later......
update: I tried for 2 hours to figure out how to post a picture of an apple on this post, just for you teachers. I just couldn't do it. I followed all the instructions, but it didn't work. I might just need a teacher to help me.
So, I feel guilty. I mean, How was I suppose to know that my countdown to freedom, was their countdown to confinement? That my bliss over having getting my butt spanked, meant the end of their vacation?
If you read her blog today, you know what a horrible summer she had. I mean really horrible. She slept late, read the paper, took naps, worked out, played on the computer, oh and she found out she's a spanko. If you ask me, boring.
But really, I shouldn't be so happy about this turn of affairs. I shouldn't take joy out of reading all my blogs in peace and quiet, without having to worry about little eyes reading over mommies shoulder. Or worrying that a blog might have a red butt on display the moment it pops on the screen. I really shouldn't take joy out of drinking my juice and watching Regis and Kelly, seeing as how all summer, the juice was gone before I got up, and instead of Reeg, I got Spongebob. Nope, I shouldn't take any joy out of having those little eyes and ears at school, so that I don't have to hear for the one billionth time, MOMMY, I'm bored!!!
Now for the serious part.
I'm sorry, truly, I am. Elis, Eva, and all the other teachers out there, I bow to you. You do great works. You teach the minds of our children. You don't get paid nearly enough for the jobs you do. You have the future in the palm of your hand. It's up to you to teach these children so that they may grow up to be great things. It's up to you to mold and shape these little minds. I truly respect and honor teachers. Instead of paying millions to a guy to play baseball we should be paying you millions to teach our children. So thank you. Thank you for doing your job and doing it well. Thank you for taking the time to teach our children! Thank you, thank you, thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
Serious part over.
Time for me to turn on Regis, drink my juice and read my blogs! So many blogs, so little time.
(Ok, now I'm doing the mommy happy dance!!!!) later......
update: I tried for 2 hours to figure out how to post a picture of an apple on this post, just for you teachers. I just couldn't do it. I followed all the instructions, but it didn't work. I might just need a teacher to help me.
The letter "i"
Gratitude Tuesday is here again! I've been looking forward to it, believe it or not. I have been paying more attention to the things I'm grateful for, and if it begins with "I" I've been taking note so I can blog it. If you haven't been doing it, you should, it's a great way to keep the blessings at the forefront of your mind. On to the list.
Ice cream: The best ice cream of all time is cake batter and brownie from Cold Stone. But if your eating it at home, it's gotta be Moose tracks!
Ice tea: I love ice tea, it's delicious and refreshing!!!
Internet: The Internet has opened many doors in my life. I've gotten great ideas, I've learned many things. I've learned that I'm not the only one that likes to be spanked, and I'm not weird for liking it! I've met many great people, and have made many friends that I would never have met otherwise. What would we do without the Internet?
Invitations: Doesn't getting an invitation to something make you happy? It makes me feel like someone really does like me and wants to celebrate something with me. Getting an invitation in the mail just makes me smile.
Independence Day: This is the day we celebrate our nations birth. Something about watching fireworks and listening to the National anthem just makes me proud. I'm proud of our country. With all the turmoil in the world, I'm just grateful I live in this land of opportunity. God Bless the USA!
Ice cubes: There are so many fun things to do with ice, but I'll let you all use your imaginations on this one!
Imagination: Without imagination this world would be very boring! We all have our unique thoughts and feelings and imaginations. Think of all the things we do in life that would be boring without imagination. Sex, blogging, stories, art, even the gardens in our yards take imagination. Ever watch a child use their imagination? My son can make a stick at the beach into a machine gun. My daughter can take the most interesting pictures of herself using nothing more than a mirror and a camera. These are the most innocent forms of imagination! Life would be nothing without imagination.
I: I hope this doesn't sound pompous or conceded, but I am grateful for me, myself, and I. Sometimes that can be hard to admit, and frankly there have been times when I haven't been too grateful for myself. But I've learned that I am loved by a lot of people. If I didn't exist, my children would not be here. This world would be missing out on something extraordinary if they weren't around, for I feel they extraordinary human beings. So I'm grateful for I.
Well there you have it, the "i" list. I have to admit, this week was a little bit challenging. I mean really, how many things can you think of that begin with I? I can't wait to see what everyone else came up with!
Of course there is one more thing I'm thankful for but it doesn't start with an I, it starts with a S. Can you guess what this might be??? YEP, SCHOOL!!!
Tomorrow is the first day of school for my son. He will be starting the 3rd grade. My daughter started 11th grade last week. Although I really enjoyed spending time with my kids this summer (no, really, I did!) I am glad school is starting. This means Bossman and I have more time alone. Bossman has such a flexible schedule that he often has time in the morning to just hang around the house. This also means we can get back to our d/d routine. It's way too hard to do any spanking in the summer, if I remember correctly I think it probably only happened twice. There is absolutely no way to implement any sort of discipline around here in the summer. So HOORAY for school!
Everyone have a great Tuesday, and start looking out for things to be grateful for that start with J!
later......
Ice cream: The best ice cream of all time is cake batter and brownie from Cold Stone. But if your eating it at home, it's gotta be Moose tracks!
Ice tea: I love ice tea, it's delicious and refreshing!!!
Internet: The Internet has opened many doors in my life. I've gotten great ideas, I've learned many things. I've learned that I'm not the only one that likes to be spanked, and I'm not weird for liking it! I've met many great people, and have made many friends that I would never have met otherwise. What would we do without the Internet?
Invitations: Doesn't getting an invitation to something make you happy? It makes me feel like someone really does like me and wants to celebrate something with me. Getting an invitation in the mail just makes me smile.
Independence Day: This is the day we celebrate our nations birth. Something about watching fireworks and listening to the National anthem just makes me proud. I'm proud of our country. With all the turmoil in the world, I'm just grateful I live in this land of opportunity. God Bless the USA!
Ice cubes: There are so many fun things to do with ice, but I'll let you all use your imaginations on this one!
Imagination: Without imagination this world would be very boring! We all have our unique thoughts and feelings and imaginations. Think of all the things we do in life that would be boring without imagination. Sex, blogging, stories, art, even the gardens in our yards take imagination. Ever watch a child use their imagination? My son can make a stick at the beach into a machine gun. My daughter can take the most interesting pictures of herself using nothing more than a mirror and a camera. These are the most innocent forms of imagination! Life would be nothing without imagination.
I: I hope this doesn't sound pompous or conceded, but I am grateful for me, myself, and I. Sometimes that can be hard to admit, and frankly there have been times when I haven't been too grateful for myself. But I've learned that I am loved by a lot of people. If I didn't exist, my children would not be here. This world would be missing out on something extraordinary if they weren't around, for I feel they extraordinary human beings. So I'm grateful for I.
Well there you have it, the "i" list. I have to admit, this week was a little bit challenging. I mean really, how many things can you think of that begin with I? I can't wait to see what everyone else came up with!
Of course there is one more thing I'm thankful for but it doesn't start with an I, it starts with a S. Can you guess what this might be??? YEP, SCHOOL!!!
Tomorrow is the first day of school for my son. He will be starting the 3rd grade. My daughter started 11th grade last week. Although I really enjoyed spending time with my kids this summer (no, really, I did!) I am glad school is starting. This means Bossman and I have more time alone. Bossman has such a flexible schedule that he often has time in the morning to just hang around the house. This also means we can get back to our d/d routine. It's way too hard to do any spanking in the summer, if I remember correctly I think it probably only happened twice. There is absolutely no way to implement any sort of discipline around here in the summer. So HOORAY for school!
Everyone have a great Tuesday, and start looking out for things to be grateful for that start with J!
later......
and now for this important commercial......
Did you notice a change around here???
Blogger has decided that you can go beta for your blog now. Since I have no idea what this means, I thought I would check it out. After reading about it, it seemed like it would be a good idea to change my blog over to beta. From all the reading I had done, it seems that you can change your blog around, change colors, add links, and all kinds of great things with just your mouse. Sounded like I could add things and move things around without having to know html.
I'm a fairly bright person when it comes to the internet, but I still have no clue about html. I figured out how to put up links, but I'm pretty much clueless when it comes to adding other features to my blog. People out there know how to add movie clips, links, cool icons, pictures and such. I was proud of myself just for figuring out the links.
Anyway, this post does have a point...I promise!
The point is, I switched my blog over to beta. I LOVE IT!!!
So far, it's been great. It's super easy putting new links in. I can rearrange my blog any way I like. If I want the links on the left and the archives on the right, by george, I can! All I have to do is click and drag! How easy is THAT???
Notice all the different colors on my blog? I can pick a different color for just about anything on the page. I can change the font, and the font size!
All that with just a click of my button!
I still can't figure out how people manage to put such cool things in their posts, but I'm learning, and I think this beta stuff is really helping me out!
If any of you are html challenged like I am, consider switching over. It's super easy and alot of fun!
later.....
p.s. school starts day after tomorrow!!!!
Blogger has decided that you can go beta for your blog now. Since I have no idea what this means, I thought I would check it out. After reading about it, it seemed like it would be a good idea to change my blog over to beta. From all the reading I had done, it seems that you can change your blog around, change colors, add links, and all kinds of great things with just your mouse. Sounded like I could add things and move things around without having to know html.
I'm a fairly bright person when it comes to the internet, but I still have no clue about html. I figured out how to put up links, but I'm pretty much clueless when it comes to adding other features to my blog. People out there know how to add movie clips, links, cool icons, pictures and such. I was proud of myself just for figuring out the links.
Anyway, this post does have a point...I promise!
The point is, I switched my blog over to beta. I LOVE IT!!!
So far, it's been great. It's super easy putting new links in. I can rearrange my blog any way I like. If I want the links on the left and the archives on the right, by george, I can! All I have to do is click and drag! How easy is THAT???
Notice all the different colors on my blog? I can pick a different color for just about anything on the page. I can change the font, and the font size!
All that with just a click of my button!
I still can't figure out how people manage to put such cool things in their posts, but I'm learning, and I think this beta stuff is really helping me out!
If any of you are html challenged like I am, consider switching over. It's super easy and alot of fun!
later.....
p.s. school starts day after tomorrow!!!!
Tiggers meme
Tigger posted this on her blog last Friday. I thought it was interesting, so I thought I would answer.
1. What are you punished for?
I get punished if I wear underwear to bed. I also get punished for not cleaning the bathroom. If I get too crazy, he may punish me to get me back on track. Sometimes he just spanks me to remind me who's in control.
2. How are you usually punished? (spanking, lines, corner time, etc.)
Corner time and Spankings
3. Does your punishment vary depending on the misbehavior?
No, although implement may change the general punishment usually stays the same.
4. What are you most often punished with? (Any and all possible implements)
bamboo backscratcher, wooden spoon, hand, paint stirrer, pingpong paddle.
5. Are those implements reserved exclusively for punishment?
other than the back scratcher, yes. (of course Bossman uses his hand for other things!)
6. Do you receive a certain number of strokes?
no, Bossman just spanks until he feels I've had enough
7. If so, how many or what range?
Not applicable (as mentioned above)
8. Have you ever been told to pick your own punishment?
no
9. If so, were you harder on yourself than your Dom/me?
no
10. How often are you punished for real offenses (on average)
if it's not summer, probably once or twice a week
So, there you have it. This is how it works in our house. I would encourage some of the rest of you to answer these questions. They can be quite informative!
FYI: School starts Wednesday!!!!!!
later......
1. What are you punished for?
I get punished if I wear underwear to bed. I also get punished for not cleaning the bathroom. If I get too crazy, he may punish me to get me back on track. Sometimes he just spanks me to remind me who's in control.
2. How are you usually punished? (spanking, lines, corner time, etc.)
Corner time and Spankings
3. Does your punishment vary depending on the misbehavior?
No, although implement may change the general punishment usually stays the same.
4. What are you most often punished with? (Any and all possible implements)
bamboo backscratcher, wooden spoon, hand, paint stirrer, pingpong paddle.
5. Are those implements reserved exclusively for punishment?
other than the back scratcher, yes. (of course Bossman uses his hand for other things!)
6. Do you receive a certain number of strokes?
no, Bossman just spanks until he feels I've had enough
7. If so, how many or what range?
Not applicable (as mentioned above)
8. Have you ever been told to pick your own punishment?
no
9. If so, were you harder on yourself than your Dom/me?
no
10. How often are you punished for real offenses (on average)
if it's not summer, probably once or twice a week
So, there you have it. This is how it works in our house. I would encourage some of the rest of you to answer these questions. They can be quite informative!
FYI: School starts Wednesday!!!!!!
later......
The beginning
For most of you, this will be the end of my story, but for me it was only the beginning...
One week later was my 18th birthday. Since we didn't go to the same school, we weren't able to see each other everyday. We talked non-stop on the phone though. I didn't bring up the kissing thing. I knew he was shy, but this was getting ridiculous. So, back to my birthday. (kitten, if you thought this story was disgustingly cute, you might not want to read the rest..LOL)
My sister decided to throw me a surprise party. She invited all my friends from my youth group. She got Bossman to take me out to the beach while she prepared everything. We walked along the beach together, and held hands. I think it was one of the first times since skating that we had touched. Oh, to be so innocent now!
I pretended to be cold, so he would offer me his jacket. (I really thought I was clever) I wore his jacket, and I don't think I ever gave it back...LOL I can still remember his smell. You know that smell? It's like everyone has a certain smell, it's not a bad smell, but it's them. I know we all have that smell, but we get so used to the smell of the people around us that we forget about the smell. Once in awhile if I wear one of Bossmans jackets I can smell that smell again, and it always brings me to that evening on the beach.
Apparently, Bossman was an hour late bringing me to my party, which I didn't know about. Of course as soon as we pulled up to the house, I knew because I saw all my friends cars. The party was a great success.
The best part about the party was after the party was over. Everyone left, except Bossman. I walked him out to his car. Now, to set the scene I have to tell you, our house was out in the country, so there wasn't really any houses nearby. Therefore it was really dark. Anyway, I walk him to his car. I was so excited about the walk on the beach and the party.
He opened the car door, and we stood there talking. Finally, at long last, he leans forward and kisses me. It was a soft, sweet, innocent, kiss. It was the kind of kiss that you would like to put in your secret memory box. You know, the box that you keep your movies stubs and your love notes. The one where you put that flower that he picked for you from the side of the road and the chapstick that he let you borrow and you never gave back. (ok, is that sick or what??)
That kiss was the beginning of something extrodinary. How were we to know, at the moment, that this was bigger than we could even imagine? We didn't know where this kiss would lead. But we knew we were going to follow. At that moment we didn't know that 3 years later we would get married. We didn't know that 4 years later we would have our first child. Had you said to me that someday I would allow this person to spank me, I would never had believed it. We didn't know that we were soul mates, destine to be together. But we knew that this kiss was the beginning. The beginning of something bigger than ourselves.
Thank God for that kiss!
later.....
One week later was my 18th birthday. Since we didn't go to the same school, we weren't able to see each other everyday. We talked non-stop on the phone though. I didn't bring up the kissing thing. I knew he was shy, but this was getting ridiculous. So, back to my birthday. (kitten, if you thought this story was disgustingly cute, you might not want to read the rest..LOL)
My sister decided to throw me a surprise party. She invited all my friends from my youth group. She got Bossman to take me out to the beach while she prepared everything. We walked along the beach together, and held hands. I think it was one of the first times since skating that we had touched. Oh, to be so innocent now!
I pretended to be cold, so he would offer me his jacket. (I really thought I was clever) I wore his jacket, and I don't think I ever gave it back...LOL I can still remember his smell. You know that smell? It's like everyone has a certain smell, it's not a bad smell, but it's them. I know we all have that smell, but we get so used to the smell of the people around us that we forget about the smell. Once in awhile if I wear one of Bossmans jackets I can smell that smell again, and it always brings me to that evening on the beach.
Apparently, Bossman was an hour late bringing me to my party, which I didn't know about. Of course as soon as we pulled up to the house, I knew because I saw all my friends cars. The party was a great success.
The best part about the party was after the party was over. Everyone left, except Bossman. I walked him out to his car. Now, to set the scene I have to tell you, our house was out in the country, so there wasn't really any houses nearby. Therefore it was really dark. Anyway, I walk him to his car. I was so excited about the walk on the beach and the party.
He opened the car door, and we stood there talking. Finally, at long last, he leans forward and kisses me. It was a soft, sweet, innocent, kiss. It was the kind of kiss that you would like to put in your secret memory box. You know, the box that you keep your movies stubs and your love notes. The one where you put that flower that he picked for you from the side of the road and the chapstick that he let you borrow and you never gave back. (ok, is that sick or what??)
That kiss was the beginning of something extrodinary. How were we to know, at the moment, that this was bigger than we could even imagine? We didn't know where this kiss would lead. But we knew we were going to follow. At that moment we didn't know that 3 years later we would get married. We didn't know that 4 years later we would have our first child. Had you said to me that someday I would allow this person to spank me, I would never had believed it. We didn't know that we were soul mates, destine to be together. But we knew that this kiss was the beginning. The beginning of something bigger than ourselves.
Thank God for that kiss!
later.....
I live on Mars.
As someone pointed out, this story is disgustingly cute. ;) After reading it through, I realize, it is! Oh well, what can I say, we are just too cute.
After skating that night, we were trying to figure out if everyone had a ride home from the rink. We are all deciding whose riding with who, I asked Bossman where he lived. He tells me he lives on Mars. Yep, that's right, Mars.
I started cracking up. How many people can say they live on Mars? It was just a funny thing to say. First thing I'm thinking is, ok, I have a real weirdo on my hands. But then I realize, all the streets around the neighborhood we were in are named for planets. I was just glad he didn't say Uranus. LOL
Anyway, if you remember from the first part of the story, I said this was a Monday night. I remember it very clearly because it was the first official day of spring break. After we got everyone a ride home, we went our separate ways. Bossman and I were not going to be riding in the same car as we lived in different parts of the town. You would think that this would be the part of the story where he gets my phone number, or I get his, but no, there was no exchanging of phone numbers. So we said goodbye, and I figured that was the end of it.
Actually, I really had hope that he would call. I mean, my friends were his friends, so I knew he could easily get my number. So all week, I sort of waited for the call. I never gave it a thought that I would call him. I know I made the first move, but I wasn't that brave. Besides, even though I asked him to skate, it really was against my nature. I really thought that the guys should do all the asking. Come to think of it, this might be why I have such a hard time asking Bossman for spankings. I still think the man should be in charge.
Of course I had some of my friends that were in the band with Bossman calling me all week discussing how I skated with him. Remember, this was way out of my character so they couldn't believe it. Of course they called to tell me that they thought he liked me.
Friday came upon us. Still no call. Every Friday, I had a babysitting job for some people that went bowling. I tell my mom, please call me if a boy calls. Ok, she assures me she will call. Do I get a call on Friday night, when all teens are calling girls and asking them out to the movies? Nope. No call. Or so I thought...
(oh gosh, this story is so high schoolish! Too funny)
He finally calls on Saturday. Wants to know if I'll go out with him that night. Shoot. Our church group was having something over at the church. Should I go out on a date with someone? What about my friends? What if something major happens while I'm not there? (ok, just for the record, nothing major ever happened, but what IF??) So I take a chance, I say yes!!! After I hang up, I call all my friends. Because now, now I am cool. I have a date. With someone outside of our group. Someone we don't normally hang with. Someone tall!
(this next paragraph is just for Ceeci )
Now I had to decide what to wear. The bottom wasn't tough, I LIVED in shrink-to-fit Levis 501's. I had a lot of them, and they were all worn just perfectly. Not to dark and stiff, faded just perfect. If I remember correctly, I wore a sweater on the top, the kind that had a big open "V" in the back. Remember those? Mine was the kind that a 3/4 length sleeve, because I have long arms, so long sleeves were always too short. I had long dangly earrings. (scary thing is, some of this stuff is coming back into style) I looked hot...not! But I thought I did, and that's all that mattered. My hair was feathered back nicely. My hair wasn't so much big, but it had the great layered look with lots of feathering back. Oh yes, it was great.
So, Bossman picks me up and my mom is of course shocked that I am going out on a date with someone other from my youth group. He comes to the door to meet my parents and of course my younger brother and sister were being quite the pain. Finally after the embarrassment factor is over, we leave.
Now he hasn't told me where we are going. He takes me to dinner. We ate mexican. To this day we only live 30 miles from that restaurant and we still love to dine there. We actually talked, and got to know each other a little bit. After dinner, we decided to cruise. For those of you that don't know cruising, we drove up and down the main street of our town. That's it. We just drove up and down the street.
Since that got boring quickly, we drove over to the church. Mostly so everyone could see that I really was out on a date. I had to show off.
When he took me home, that was it. There was no kiss. He just said goodbye, and that was the end. I was disappointed there wasn't even an attempt, but as I learned that night, Bossman was very shy.
After that night, we hung out and talked on the phone a lot. We didn't go to the same high school, but he would frequently come by my school at lunch time to hang out. After a month of dating, there was still no kiss, but we did a lot together, and I started going to the band practice. (of course I would)
Like I said, a month had gone by, and everything was really innocent. He hadn't kissed me, nor had he asked me to officially be his girlfriend. One night we went on a double date with friends of his from school. His friend was driving. When we went to drop off his friends girlfriend at the end of the night, they would spend 30 min or so making out at the door. (saying goodbye..HA) Bossman would just sit in the car and talk while they would say their goodbyes. Finally, Bossman asked me to be his girlfriend. "So, will, uh, will you uh, will you be my girlfriend?" "Um, I guess." I'm pretty sure that is how the conversation went. So there, now we were officially "going" together. Surely now he would kiss me. You'd think.
But no, they dropped me off at home, and there was no kiss.
I was starting to get a little worried. Although I was thrilled at the prospect of having a official boyfriend, I couldn't figure out why he wasn't kissing me. Was my breath bad? Maybe his breath was bad. Did my deodorant fail me? What was going on? I just didn't get it.
I will reveal in my next post how I finally got my first kiss from Bossman. I didn't really realize this story was going to take so long to write. I do know, I'm having a great time reliving my first love. Now it's time to go kiss my Bossman.
After skating that night, we were trying to figure out if everyone had a ride home from the rink. We are all deciding whose riding with who, I asked Bossman where he lived. He tells me he lives on Mars. Yep, that's right, Mars.
I started cracking up. How many people can say they live on Mars? It was just a funny thing to say. First thing I'm thinking is, ok, I have a real weirdo on my hands. But then I realize, all the streets around the neighborhood we were in are named for planets. I was just glad he didn't say Uranus. LOL
Anyway, if you remember from the first part of the story, I said this was a Monday night. I remember it very clearly because it was the first official day of spring break. After we got everyone a ride home, we went our separate ways. Bossman and I were not going to be riding in the same car as we lived in different parts of the town. You would think that this would be the part of the story where he gets my phone number, or I get his, but no, there was no exchanging of phone numbers. So we said goodbye, and I figured that was the end of it.
Actually, I really had hope that he would call. I mean, my friends were his friends, so I knew he could easily get my number. So all week, I sort of waited for the call. I never gave it a thought that I would call him. I know I made the first move, but I wasn't that brave. Besides, even though I asked him to skate, it really was against my nature. I really thought that the guys should do all the asking. Come to think of it, this might be why I have such a hard time asking Bossman for spankings. I still think the man should be in charge.
Of course I had some of my friends that were in the band with Bossman calling me all week discussing how I skated with him. Remember, this was way out of my character so they couldn't believe it. Of course they called to tell me that they thought he liked me.
Friday came upon us. Still no call. Every Friday, I had a babysitting job for some people that went bowling. I tell my mom, please call me if a boy calls. Ok, she assures me she will call. Do I get a call on Friday night, when all teens are calling girls and asking them out to the movies? Nope. No call. Or so I thought...
(oh gosh, this story is so high schoolish! Too funny)
He finally calls on Saturday. Wants to know if I'll go out with him that night. Shoot. Our church group was having something over at the church. Should I go out on a date with someone? What about my friends? What if something major happens while I'm not there? (ok, just for the record, nothing major ever happened, but what IF??) So I take a chance, I say yes!!! After I hang up, I call all my friends. Because now, now I am cool. I have a date. With someone outside of our group. Someone we don't normally hang with. Someone tall!
(this next paragraph is just for Ceeci )
Now I had to decide what to wear. The bottom wasn't tough, I LIVED in shrink-to-fit Levis 501's. I had a lot of them, and they were all worn just perfectly. Not to dark and stiff, faded just perfect. If I remember correctly, I wore a sweater on the top, the kind that had a big open "V" in the back. Remember those? Mine was the kind that a 3/4 length sleeve, because I have long arms, so long sleeves were always too short. I had long dangly earrings. (scary thing is, some of this stuff is coming back into style) I looked hot...not! But I thought I did, and that's all that mattered. My hair was feathered back nicely. My hair wasn't so much big, but it had the great layered look with lots of feathering back. Oh yes, it was great.
So, Bossman picks me up and my mom is of course shocked that I am going out on a date with someone other from my youth group. He comes to the door to meet my parents and of course my younger brother and sister were being quite the pain. Finally after the embarrassment factor is over, we leave.
Now he hasn't told me where we are going. He takes me to dinner. We ate mexican. To this day we only live 30 miles from that restaurant and we still love to dine there. We actually talked, and got to know each other a little bit. After dinner, we decided to cruise. For those of you that don't know cruising, we drove up and down the main street of our town. That's it. We just drove up and down the street.
Since that got boring quickly, we drove over to the church. Mostly so everyone could see that I really was out on a date. I had to show off.
When he took me home, that was it. There was no kiss. He just said goodbye, and that was the end. I was disappointed there wasn't even an attempt, but as I learned that night, Bossman was very shy.
After that night, we hung out and talked on the phone a lot. We didn't go to the same high school, but he would frequently come by my school at lunch time to hang out. After a month of dating, there was still no kiss, but we did a lot together, and I started going to the band practice. (of course I would)
Like I said, a month had gone by, and everything was really innocent. He hadn't kissed me, nor had he asked me to officially be his girlfriend. One night we went on a double date with friends of his from school. His friend was driving. When we went to drop off his friends girlfriend at the end of the night, they would spend 30 min or so making out at the door. (saying goodbye..HA) Bossman would just sit in the car and talk while they would say their goodbyes. Finally, Bossman asked me to be his girlfriend. "So, will, uh, will you uh, will you be my girlfriend?" "Um, I guess." I'm pretty sure that is how the conversation went. So there, now we were officially "going" together. Surely now he would kiss me. You'd think.
But no, they dropped me off at home, and there was no kiss.
I was starting to get a little worried. Although I was thrilled at the prospect of having a official boyfriend, I couldn't figure out why he wasn't kissing me. Was my breath bad? Maybe his breath was bad. Did my deodorant fail me? What was going on? I just didn't get it.
I will reveal in my next post how I finally got my first kiss from Bossman. I didn't really realize this story was going to take so long to write. I do know, I'm having a great time reliving my first love. Now it's time to go kiss my Bossman.
rollerskating and 80's hair
Ceeci shared her love story last week and asked that others write theirs. So here is the story of how Bossman and I met.
Bossman and I were still in high school when we met. I was a senior and he, just a junior. (I know what Eva will say here, cradle robber!)
When I was in highschool I was very involved in a youth group at my church. This group was very important to me. I did everything with those kids. We must have spent 3 or 4 nights a week at church doing something. We had a choir, we had a puppet ministry, we went and visited the shut-ins. You name it, and our group was probably involved.
Our group consisted of teens from 2 local high schools. The town we lived in was pretty small, so these were the only local high schools. Needless to say, they were rival schools. But as for our group, it didn't matter which school you attended, we were all one big happy family.
Some of the kids in our youth group decided to start a christian rock band. These kids all went to the rival school. They hooked up with a guy from their school that could play a killer lead guitar. They started bringing this guy to our church functions.
Now, just so you know, I wasn't very active in the dating scene. Although I was a senior, dating just wasn't really important to me. Heck, I was in church most of the time anyway, and we all hung out together. There was a lot of boyfriend and girlfriend stuff within our group, but we all seemed to like just hanging out together in a group, so none of us really did much "one-on-one" dating. I did have a couple of guys that I tried to date, but it never lasted long, because I always wanted to hang with the group. I felt like if I wasn't there I would miss something.
Anyway, my friends start bringing this guy, from the rival school, to different church events. Now this guy was really tall, which I liked, because I'm really tall, and it was hard to find guys in high school taller than me. This guy had dark curly hair. Now remember, this is in the middle of the 80's, so the in thing was big hair. Remember, this guy was the lead guitarist in a rock band. So he had long poofy hair. Typical 80's rock band hair.
So, I'd been seeing this guy at some of our church functions. But I hadn't really talked to him. We may have been a church youth group, but we weren't very open to newcomers. It's not that we were mean but we were just full of ourselves. You know, typical teen stuff.
One night, our group had a rollerskating party. I'll never forget it, it was a monday night. It was spring break. We were having a great time. My friends brought Bossman to the roller rink. Remember how big rollerskating was in the 80's? Just hearing 80's music brings me back to the roller rink. At this rink they would have different things happening. Some songs were special songs, and they would call it couples skate. If you wanted to skate during that song, you had to have a partner. They didn't care whether it was a girl or guy, but you had to skate with a partner. Usually, during these times, I would either skate with a girl friend or just sit it out. So my girl friend asks me to skate with her.
Now, mind you, this is the end of my senior year. I've only got about a month or so until my 18th birthday. And a couple of months left of high school. But I was very shy around boys. Especially boys that were not in our church group. For some reason, on this night, I was feeling a little frisky. So when my friend asked me to skate, I just wasn't feeling it. I looked out on the skate floor and some of my friends with boyfriends were skating around, holding hands and such, and it looked so romantic. I looked around the sides of the rink, and this boy, the one that my friends had brought, was sitting on one of the benches just watching the other skaters. I knew in that moment, I should ask him to skate. So I tell my friend, I think I'll ask that guy to skate with me.
This was so out of my character that my friend couldn't believe it. She says, puuleesse! There is no way your going over there and asking him to skate. I thought about it for a minute and said, "yep, think I'll ask him." So she dared me. "Sure you will," she said, "I don't believe you'll do it." So.....I did!
I skated over to him, and sat down next to him on the bench. I pretty sure I was having a nervous break down, but ever so clever as I am, I pretended to be fixing my skate. When he didn't even really look over at me, I thought, oh man, this is going to be harder than I thought. But I took the plunge and asked anyway.
"uh, hey, how's it going?" I said. "oh, hey, it's goin'." He said. "so hey, uh, wouldyouskatewithme?" "Uh, ok." he said, and stood up. So we both go on the skate floor and start skating side by side. Not touching or anything, just skating. So pathetic. Just thinking about it makes me laugh.
After a few rounds around the rink, I ask him his name, he asks me mine, and there you have it...our first meeting. Still no hand holding, but just talking and skating.
But then the whorish little wench that I am comes up with an even better plan. After witnessing a couple of friends skate by backwards, I ask if he knows how to skate backward. Sure, he says, and turns around to face me, and starts skating backward. So I say, I don't think I can skate backward. So I turn around and try. Pretending that I can't skate backward, he turns around and puts his hands up, so he can push me around backward. Aaaahhhh, I touched him...tee hee!
Anyway, that's how the rest of the night went. We pretty much skated around together the rest of the night. I pretty much kept trying to skate backward and he kept pushing me around the rink. It was really fun, and I felt so free, like I had broken out of my shell. I mean I ASKED a boy to skate. A boy I didn't know. How cool was that??
There is more to this story, but I've got to take the little man out for some school shoes. If your not too bored, stop by again, and I'll finish up my cute little high school story.
later.....
Bossman and I were still in high school when we met. I was a senior and he, just a junior. (I know what Eva will say here, cradle robber!)
When I was in highschool I was very involved in a youth group at my church. This group was very important to me. I did everything with those kids. We must have spent 3 or 4 nights a week at church doing something. We had a choir, we had a puppet ministry, we went and visited the shut-ins. You name it, and our group was probably involved.
Our group consisted of teens from 2 local high schools. The town we lived in was pretty small, so these were the only local high schools. Needless to say, they were rival schools. But as for our group, it didn't matter which school you attended, we were all one big happy family.
Some of the kids in our youth group decided to start a christian rock band. These kids all went to the rival school. They hooked up with a guy from their school that could play a killer lead guitar. They started bringing this guy to our church functions.
Now, just so you know, I wasn't very active in the dating scene. Although I was a senior, dating just wasn't really important to me. Heck, I was in church most of the time anyway, and we all hung out together. There was a lot of boyfriend and girlfriend stuff within our group, but we all seemed to like just hanging out together in a group, so none of us really did much "one-on-one" dating. I did have a couple of guys that I tried to date, but it never lasted long, because I always wanted to hang with the group. I felt like if I wasn't there I would miss something.
Anyway, my friends start bringing this guy, from the rival school, to different church events. Now this guy was really tall, which I liked, because I'm really tall, and it was hard to find guys in high school taller than me. This guy had dark curly hair. Now remember, this is in the middle of the 80's, so the in thing was big hair. Remember, this guy was the lead guitarist in a rock band. So he had long poofy hair. Typical 80's rock band hair.
So, I'd been seeing this guy at some of our church functions. But I hadn't really talked to him. We may have been a church youth group, but we weren't very open to newcomers. It's not that we were mean but we were just full of ourselves. You know, typical teen stuff.
One night, our group had a rollerskating party. I'll never forget it, it was a monday night. It was spring break. We were having a great time. My friends brought Bossman to the roller rink. Remember how big rollerskating was in the 80's? Just hearing 80's music brings me back to the roller rink. At this rink they would have different things happening. Some songs were special songs, and they would call it couples skate. If you wanted to skate during that song, you had to have a partner. They didn't care whether it was a girl or guy, but you had to skate with a partner. Usually, during these times, I would either skate with a girl friend or just sit it out. So my girl friend asks me to skate with her.
Now, mind you, this is the end of my senior year. I've only got about a month or so until my 18th birthday. And a couple of months left of high school. But I was very shy around boys. Especially boys that were not in our church group. For some reason, on this night, I was feeling a little frisky. So when my friend asked me to skate, I just wasn't feeling it. I looked out on the skate floor and some of my friends with boyfriends were skating around, holding hands and such, and it looked so romantic. I looked around the sides of the rink, and this boy, the one that my friends had brought, was sitting on one of the benches just watching the other skaters. I knew in that moment, I should ask him to skate. So I tell my friend, I think I'll ask that guy to skate with me.
This was so out of my character that my friend couldn't believe it. She says, puuleesse! There is no way your going over there and asking him to skate. I thought about it for a minute and said, "yep, think I'll ask him." So she dared me. "Sure you will," she said, "I don't believe you'll do it." So.....I did!
I skated over to him, and sat down next to him on the bench. I pretty sure I was having a nervous break down, but ever so clever as I am, I pretended to be fixing my skate. When he didn't even really look over at me, I thought, oh man, this is going to be harder than I thought. But I took the plunge and asked anyway.
"uh, hey, how's it going?" I said. "oh, hey, it's goin'." He said. "so hey, uh, wouldyouskatewithme?" "Uh, ok." he said, and stood up. So we both go on the skate floor and start skating side by side. Not touching or anything, just skating. So pathetic. Just thinking about it makes me laugh.
After a few rounds around the rink, I ask him his name, he asks me mine, and there you have it...our first meeting. Still no hand holding, but just talking and skating.
But then the whorish little wench that I am comes up with an even better plan. After witnessing a couple of friends skate by backwards, I ask if he knows how to skate backward. Sure, he says, and turns around to face me, and starts skating backward. So I say, I don't think I can skate backward. So I turn around and try. Pretending that I can't skate backward, he turns around and puts his hands up, so he can push me around backward. Aaaahhhh, I touched him...tee hee!
Anyway, that's how the rest of the night went. We pretty much skated around together the rest of the night. I pretty much kept trying to skate backward and he kept pushing me around the rink. It was really fun, and I felt so free, like I had broken out of my shell. I mean I ASKED a boy to skate. A boy I didn't know. How cool was that??
There is more to this story, but I've got to take the little man out for some school shoes. If your not too bored, stop by again, and I'll finish up my cute little high school story.
later.....
Gratitude Tuesday
I've always loved gratitude Tuesday over at Ceeci's place. Seems like I always showed up on Wednesday, so I never posted my own. I have sat and made up my own list in my head, but I think for now I will post them here. So here's my list, and don't worry, I'm still working on the love story!
Today is the letter "H".
Hugs: How would I survive without hugs. Hugs make people smile. I love hugs.
Halos: Angels would look pretty silly without them, but I always carry mine in my pocket. ;)
Heath bars: What can I say, I just love that candy bar.
Holidays: I love spending time with my family on the holiday. I love the traditions we have. Besides, who doesn't like opening presents?
Hopscotch: Is there anything sweeter than watching little girls playing hopscotch? If only we could bottle up that innocence.
Hairy chests: Bossman has the best chest. Rubbing my fingers through his hairy chest really makes me feel calm and safe.
Handspankings: Spankings are good, no matter what, but my favorite spanking of all would be the hand spanking. What better way is there to connect with Bossman? I believe that getting a spanking by hand is the most intimate form of spanking.
Home: They say Home is where the heart is, and for me, that is true. My home is the place where I am safe and my family is safe. It's the place where there is unconditional love. Where else is there unconditional love?
Heart: I saved hearts for last. Hearts are my favorite. I collect heart boxes, and you can usually find me wearing some sort of heart jewelry. Hearts represent love and without love the world would be a very sad place to live.
Well that's it. I hope you enjoyed it.
later.....
Today is the letter "H".
Hugs: How would I survive without hugs. Hugs make people smile. I love hugs.
Halos: Angels would look pretty silly without them, but I always carry mine in my pocket. ;)
Heath bars: What can I say, I just love that candy bar.
Holidays: I love spending time with my family on the holiday. I love the traditions we have. Besides, who doesn't like opening presents?
Hopscotch: Is there anything sweeter than watching little girls playing hopscotch? If only we could bottle up that innocence.
Hairy chests: Bossman has the best chest. Rubbing my fingers through his hairy chest really makes me feel calm and safe.
Handspankings: Spankings are good, no matter what, but my favorite spanking of all would be the hand spanking. What better way is there to connect with Bossman? I believe that getting a spanking by hand is the most intimate form of spanking.
Home: They say Home is where the heart is, and for me, that is true. My home is the place where I am safe and my family is safe. It's the place where there is unconditional love. Where else is there unconditional love?
Heart: I saved hearts for last. Hearts are my favorite. I collect heart boxes, and you can usually find me wearing some sort of heart jewelry. Hearts represent love and without love the world would be a very sad place to live.
Well that's it. I hope you enjoyed it.
later.....
sandpaper down my shorts
Last week was a hard week. Lots of things happening. The little man is starting his first season of football. So last week was his first "hell" week. We didn't know what to expect, but it wasn't too bad, and the little man loved it. Only problem is, Bossman came home from the first day of practice and announced that he is the coach. Not the assistant coach, the head coach. Great! We've never done this before, but now my husband is the coach? That's the last time I send him alone to anything! So the whole week has been consumed with football. Football talk, football phone calls, football practices, and low and behold, football on TV. Oh well, The little man is thrilled that daddy is the coach, and Bossman is having lots of fun with it. Can't wait for the first game, when all the parents start yelling at him because their precious one is not the quarterback, or didn't play enough, I think you get the picture..LOL
One week after shaving the kitty, I've discovered sandpaper in my shorts. Its so prickly and rough. If I don't touch it up everyday, it gets really itchy. That's the down side of the shaved kitty. The up side...it's way more sensitive.
There haven't been any spankings, but there has been plenty of talk. Bossman has said many times that he can't wait until school starts again. There have been a couple of times when he has lamented that he should spank me right then, because he knew I really needed it. This is a good thing.
It's nice to know he thinks about it. It didn't used to be that way. I always worry that I have forced him into something that he doesn't really want to do. Believe me, he assures me that he does. But I am not the most confident person in the world. One time, we were having a conversation about this very subject and he looked at me with such a shocked face and said, "what man wouldn't want to spank his wife, if given the opportunity?" Hmmmm, that's a good point. So I guess I shouldn't worry to much about that. Although, I hate to think that he is just doing this to make me happy. I want it to make him happy as well. Since he's been the one to mention it, I'm thinking it's making him happy too.
That's all I've got for today. I've been having a bit of a writing block lately that's why the posts have been sparse. Sometime last week, Ceeci wrote a beautiful piece about how she and Mojo met. She asked others to write their stories, so I think I'll write that for my next post. Stay tuned for that!
Days until school starts: 1 week and 2 days!
later.....
One week after shaving the kitty, I've discovered sandpaper in my shorts. Its so prickly and rough. If I don't touch it up everyday, it gets really itchy. That's the down side of the shaved kitty. The up side...it's way more sensitive.
There haven't been any spankings, but there has been plenty of talk. Bossman has said many times that he can't wait until school starts again. There have been a couple of times when he has lamented that he should spank me right then, because he knew I really needed it. This is a good thing.
It's nice to know he thinks about it. It didn't used to be that way. I always worry that I have forced him into something that he doesn't really want to do. Believe me, he assures me that he does. But I am not the most confident person in the world. One time, we were having a conversation about this very subject and he looked at me with such a shocked face and said, "what man wouldn't want to spank his wife, if given the opportunity?" Hmmmm, that's a good point. So I guess I shouldn't worry to much about that. Although, I hate to think that he is just doing this to make me happy. I want it to make him happy as well. Since he's been the one to mention it, I'm thinking it's making him happy too.
That's all I've got for today. I've been having a bit of a writing block lately that's why the posts have been sparse. Sometime last week, Ceeci wrote a beautiful piece about how she and Mojo met. She asked others to write their stories, so I think I'll write that for my next post. Stay tuned for that!
Days until school starts: 1 week and 2 days!
later.....
Just when you think nothing would happen...
It DID!!
The kids decided to spend the night and grandmas house Saturday night. Can you believe it??? A night alone with Bossman, and NO kids!!!
Where do I begin to tell you about it? I can hardly believe my good fortune. When we first got home, we did our own thing. I got on the computer, he grabbed a magazine to read and went in the other room. I sat here for about 10 min and then I thought, AM I NUTS??? What am I doing here? I've got my husband to myself and I should be taking full advantage of him.
So I went to the bedroom and laid next to him. Asked him, "whatcha reading?" He just looked at me and said, "nothing important". Then he said, "I think it's time for me to spank you", to which I said, "nah, we can just skip it." But he prevailed! Hooray for Bossman!!!
First he had me stand against the wall by the closet. He pulled down my pants and unhooked my bra. While I stood there, he got down all the instruments of my torture. Paint stirrer (not bad) wooden spoon (horrible, evil thing) bamboo backscratcher (horrible, but not too bad) and he lined them all up on the bed.
After he got all ready, he led me to his lap. He started with just his hand, which was good, but after not having been spanked for a long time, it really hurt. Then he kept switching instruments so I never really knew which one was coming next. It really hurt, but it was a good thing.
After my butt was pretty much on fire, (thanks Bossman) he had me stand against the wall again. He placed a blindfold on me. While I was standing there, I could hear him going back and forth from the bathroom and the linen closet. I wasn't really sure what was coming next.
He laid me on my back on the bed, and I could feel a towel under me, so now I had a pretty good idea what he was going to do. That's right folks, if you haven't guess by now, he shaved me. Yep, shaved the kitty clean.
Oh my goodness, it was so erotic. We didn't say a word, he worked in silence. I couldn't see, so I was in a world all my own. He used his electric razor and his beard trimmer. Just so you know, those electric razors make great vibrators!!!
Needless to say after Bossman made me nice and smooth, he really got me going. Oh yessssss, baby, he really got me going.
This is where I have to leave you all to your imaginations. Let me just say, I'm a really happy camper today!
Countdown til school starts....2 weeks and 2 days.
later.....
The kids decided to spend the night and grandmas house Saturday night. Can you believe it??? A night alone with Bossman, and NO kids!!!
Where do I begin to tell you about it? I can hardly believe my good fortune. When we first got home, we did our own thing. I got on the computer, he grabbed a magazine to read and went in the other room. I sat here for about 10 min and then I thought, AM I NUTS??? What am I doing here? I've got my husband to myself and I should be taking full advantage of him.
So I went to the bedroom and laid next to him. Asked him, "whatcha reading?" He just looked at me and said, "nothing important". Then he said, "I think it's time for me to spank you", to which I said, "nah, we can just skip it." But he prevailed! Hooray for Bossman!!!
First he had me stand against the wall by the closet. He pulled down my pants and unhooked my bra. While I stood there, he got down all the instruments of my torture. Paint stirrer (not bad) wooden spoon (horrible, evil thing) bamboo backscratcher (horrible, but not too bad) and he lined them all up on the bed.
After he got all ready, he led me to his lap. He started with just his hand, which was good, but after not having been spanked for a long time, it really hurt. Then he kept switching instruments so I never really knew which one was coming next. It really hurt, but it was a good thing.
After my butt was pretty much on fire, (thanks Bossman) he had me stand against the wall again. He placed a blindfold on me. While I was standing there, I could hear him going back and forth from the bathroom and the linen closet. I wasn't really sure what was coming next.
He laid me on my back on the bed, and I could feel a towel under me, so now I had a pretty good idea what he was going to do. That's right folks, if you haven't guess by now, he shaved me. Yep, shaved the kitty clean.
Oh my goodness, it was so erotic. We didn't say a word, he worked in silence. I couldn't see, so I was in a world all my own. He used his electric razor and his beard trimmer. Just so you know, those electric razors make great vibrators!!!
Needless to say after Bossman made me nice and smooth, he really got me going. Oh yessssss, baby, he really got me going.
This is where I have to leave you all to your imaginations. Let me just say, I'm a really happy camper today!
Countdown til school starts....2 weeks and 2 days.
later.....
tagged!
Erica has tagged me and since I love this kind of thing...here it goes.
Once you have been tagged, you have to write a post with 8 facts/things/habits about yourself and say who tagged you. In the end, you will need to choose the 6 people you tag and list their names. No tag backs.
1. The beach is a spiritual place for me.
2. I collect dolls. I have at least 50 porcelain dolls.
3. I have huge feet. And very ugly toes. (yuck)
4. My favorite book series is call Outlanders, by Diana Gabaldon. Yes, there are a couple of references to spanking, but that's not really why I like them. Of course the spanking scenes make it that much better. ;)
5. I lived in Germany for 3 years, but can't speak a word of german.
6. My family and I have been on the local news 3 times this year.
7. I'm addicted to Big Brother, and have the live feed running in the background as I write this.
8. My favorite ice cream is cake batter with brownie mixed in from Cold Stone Creamery. If you haven't tried it...do it NOW!!
Since everyone I know has been tagged, I'll tag,
Eva and Elis and Mike
later......
Once you have been tagged, you have to write a post with 8 facts/things/habits about yourself and say who tagged you. In the end, you will need to choose the 6 people you tag and list their names. No tag backs.
1. The beach is a spiritual place for me.
2. I collect dolls. I have at least 50 porcelain dolls.
3. I have huge feet. And very ugly toes. (yuck)
4. My favorite book series is call Outlanders, by Diana Gabaldon. Yes, there are a couple of references to spanking, but that's not really why I like them. Of course the spanking scenes make it that much better. ;)
5. I lived in Germany for 3 years, but can't speak a word of german.
6. My family and I have been on the local news 3 times this year.
7. I'm addicted to Big Brother, and have the live feed running in the background as I write this.
8. My favorite ice cream is cake batter with brownie mixed in from Cold Stone Creamery. If you haven't tried it...do it NOW!!
Since everyone I know has been tagged, I'll tag,
Eva and Elis and Mike
later......
nothing new
I've got nothing new to report. Things have been boring, not even one spanking to report.
But the good news is, the wildchild goes back to school in 2 weeks and the little man goes back in 3. I'm told spankings will resume in full force as soon as they are safely out of earshot.
Bossman has even stated he's thinking of taking a whole day off, just so we can get back on track! I can't decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing. My heart says good, my butt says BAD!
Well, hope you are all having a great week! Heres hoping I can think of something wonderful to write about in my next post!
later.......
But the good news is, the wildchild goes back to school in 2 weeks and the little man goes back in 3. I'm told spankings will resume in full force as soon as they are safely out of earshot.
Bossman has even stated he's thinking of taking a whole day off, just so we can get back on track! I can't decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing. My heart says good, my butt says BAD!
Well, hope you are all having a great week! Heres hoping I can think of something wonderful to write about in my next post!
later.......
training your man????
I watched part of the Today show this morning and I saw a segment that really bugged me.
Mind you, I caught the end of the segment, so I didn't see the whole thing, but the gist of the seg was about training your man. Now, I know that we women always say we are "training our man", or we've "trained him" to do something, like putting his socks in the hamper..things like this, but this segment offended me because....
They were comparing men to animals. They actually had a woman who was an animal trainer, and they were comparing ways that training animals could help you train your man.
Am I the only one that has a problem with THAT???
Since when did our husbands become pets? To be fair, they took an e-mail from a man who wanted to know how to train is wife. Oh yes, I really want to be fair here!
One woman wrote in and said her husband is always late. She calls him an hour before the appointment, half-hour before the appointment, and 15 minutes before the appointment. Yet, they are still late. Do you even want to know what Ms. Animal trainer had to say? She said that he really liked all the attention that she was giving him, even if it was negative, and the first thing she would do was stop calling him all the time. ~sigh~
First of all, the ladies husband is a moron. Anybody that would consistently make himself and his wife late is a moron. Why would a husband be that rude? Don't get me wrong, we all run late once in awhile. But if your wife, or husband is calling and reminding you, every 15 mins, what the HECK is your problem???
Second, do we really crave attention so much from someone that we would want them to call and tell us about said appointment every 15 min? I'm sure those are really pleasant calls to get from wifey. I'm sure they weren't nagging or nasty. Nope, they were probably very pleasant calls. They were probably something like, Hi honey, remember, we have this appointment? I would appreciate you being there on time. Ok dear, love you.... Yeah, that's how they were, I'm sure.
So Ms. Animal trainer says don't call him all the time. Yeah, that will work, I'm sure. I'm sure when the next appointment comes up, and the wifey doesn't call and remind him, he will miss her nagging voice soooo much that he will NOW be on time. Yeah, I'm sure that will work.
All I know is this, I don't try and train my man. We learn and grow from each other. We see what annoys the other, and we try not to do that again. Did I train Bossman to spank me? Nope. I told him what I would like, and he tries to make me happy. (ok, it wasn't that easy, but you get my point)
So, how does spanking fit into all this? If Bossman spanks me for not cleaning the bathroom, is he trying to train me? In my ever so humble opinion, nope. I believe that life is full of consequences. If you don't put gas in the car, you will be stranded on the side of the road. If I don't clean the bathroom, Bossman will spank me. (usually) Consequences. Not training!
Training is for pets, not for husbands. Either that, or Petsmart should start having obedience training for husbands.
later.....
Mind you, I caught the end of the segment, so I didn't see the whole thing, but the gist of the seg was about training your man. Now, I know that we women always say we are "training our man", or we've "trained him" to do something, like putting his socks in the hamper..things like this, but this segment offended me because....
They were comparing men to animals. They actually had a woman who was an animal trainer, and they were comparing ways that training animals could help you train your man.
Am I the only one that has a problem with THAT???
Since when did our husbands become pets? To be fair, they took an e-mail from a man who wanted to know how to train is wife. Oh yes, I really want to be fair here!
One woman wrote in and said her husband is always late. She calls him an hour before the appointment, half-hour before the appointment, and 15 minutes before the appointment. Yet, they are still late. Do you even want to know what Ms. Animal trainer had to say? She said that he really liked all the attention that she was giving him, even if it was negative, and the first thing she would do was stop calling him all the time. ~sigh~
First of all, the ladies husband is a moron. Anybody that would consistently make himself and his wife late is a moron. Why would a husband be that rude? Don't get me wrong, we all run late once in awhile. But if your wife, or husband is calling and reminding you, every 15 mins, what the HECK is your problem???
Second, do we really crave attention so much from someone that we would want them to call and tell us about said appointment every 15 min? I'm sure those are really pleasant calls to get from wifey. I'm sure they weren't nagging or nasty. Nope, they were probably very pleasant calls. They were probably something like, Hi honey, remember, we have this appointment? I would appreciate you being there on time. Ok dear, love you.... Yeah, that's how they were, I'm sure.
So Ms. Animal trainer says don't call him all the time. Yeah, that will work, I'm sure. I'm sure when the next appointment comes up, and the wifey doesn't call and remind him, he will miss her nagging voice soooo much that he will NOW be on time. Yeah, I'm sure that will work.
All I know is this, I don't try and train my man. We learn and grow from each other. We see what annoys the other, and we try not to do that again. Did I train Bossman to spank me? Nope. I told him what I would like, and he tries to make me happy. (ok, it wasn't that easy, but you get my point)
So, how does spanking fit into all this? If Bossman spanks me for not cleaning the bathroom, is he trying to train me? In my ever so humble opinion, nope. I believe that life is full of consequences. If you don't put gas in the car, you will be stranded on the side of the road. If I don't clean the bathroom, Bossman will spank me. (usually) Consequences. Not training!
Training is for pets, not for husbands. Either that, or Petsmart should start having obedience training for husbands.
later.....
Beachy kind of day
Thank you all for your cheerful comments!
I took the kids to the beach yesterday and had the best time. Usually I spend my time in my chair reading a book. Yesterday I decided to go in the water. I mean, the weather is still hot, but at the beach it's only in the 70's. The pacific water is usually pretty cold, so most of the time I just stick my feet in.
Anyway, I rode the waves with my son. I boogie boarded with my daughter! Oh boy, it was great fun, and we all came home with a sunburn! I really lathered that sunscreen on too. But the water was great, and the waves were great and it was a great way to forget about lifes troubles.
The car is fixed and the temps are going down. Now if I could just get that spanking.....
later.....
I took the kids to the beach yesterday and had the best time. Usually I spend my time in my chair reading a book. Yesterday I decided to go in the water. I mean, the weather is still hot, but at the beach it's only in the 70's. The pacific water is usually pretty cold, so most of the time I just stick my feet in.
Anyway, I rode the waves with my son. I boogie boarded with my daughter! Oh boy, it was great fun, and we all came home with a sunburn! I really lathered that sunscreen on too. But the water was great, and the waves were great and it was a great way to forget about lifes troubles.
The car is fixed and the temps are going down. Now if I could just get that spanking.....
later.....
ups and downs
I have to admit, I had great fun writing the last couple of posts. It was interesting to go back and analyze our relationship. Funny how our perspective changes when you go back and look at it. I can tell you, those feelings were not so easy to identify when your going through it.
But last week was not a good week for me. Writing those posts was a great way to take my mind off of all of lifes troubles. Our finances are not the greatest right now. This is always stressful. Trying to make a teenager happy, plus keep everyone busy this summer really takes a toll. On top of everything else, our car decided to break down. With only one car working, I didn't get out of the house much last week. Talk about stir crazy! Not to mention the weather has decided to break all the heat records. I'm used to 70's, to have the temps reach 90 and 100...without air-conditioning....ARRRGGGHHHH!!!
All this stress is making me very cranky. I've been flying off the handle over really stupid things, and so I'm not much fun to be around. The kids have been around too much for any spankings, so that makes everything worse. Bossman has had plenty of reasons to break out the back scratcher, but there just hasn't been any opportunity for that.
But this week is much better..thank you very much. The car is getting fixed, even if it is costing us an arm and a leg. Although the weather is still hot, if I keep the fans trained on me the whole time, I won't melt. The finances will work themselves out, they always seem too. But no spankings in the immediate forecast.
I will try hard this week to snap out of the cranky mood. I will....I promise!
later......
But last week was not a good week for me. Writing those posts was a great way to take my mind off of all of lifes troubles. Our finances are not the greatest right now. This is always stressful. Trying to make a teenager happy, plus keep everyone busy this summer really takes a toll. On top of everything else, our car decided to break down. With only one car working, I didn't get out of the house much last week. Talk about stir crazy! Not to mention the weather has decided to break all the heat records. I'm used to 70's, to have the temps reach 90 and 100...without air-conditioning....ARRRGGGHHHH!!!
All this stress is making me very cranky. I've been flying off the handle over really stupid things, and so I'm not much fun to be around. The kids have been around too much for any spankings, so that makes everything worse. Bossman has had plenty of reasons to break out the back scratcher, but there just hasn't been any opportunity for that.
But this week is much better..thank you very much. The car is getting fixed, even if it is costing us an arm and a leg. Although the weather is still hot, if I keep the fans trained on me the whole time, I won't melt. The finances will work themselves out, they always seem too. But no spankings in the immediate forecast.
I will try hard this week to snap out of the cranky mood. I will....I promise!
later......
The end....whew!
It's amazing how I thought this one little story would be a nice little post. Suddenly it's something that just keeps growing....
Once I realized it wasn't always about me, I had to figure out how to make it beneficial for Bossman to want to continue this lifestyle. What was his motivation for doing this? I decided that after every spanking, I would show him what a difference it made in me. Not only me, but our relationship. I showed him how much more submissive I am after a spanking. I showed him how much better sex is after a spanking. And guess what? He got it.
One day he just got it. One day he was spanking me, and he took it farther than he ever had. For you see, up to this point, I could still control the spanking. I knew that if I made too much noise, or wiggled a little too much he would stop. He probably knew this, but he also didn't want to hurt me. Even though I yearned for a really hard spanking, one that would leave a lasting impression, when the going got a little too much, I would just use my little tricks to make it stop. I still don't understand why I did that. Because afterward I would be so mad at myself. Why would I do that? Why would I stop a perfectly good spanking? For heaven sake, it's suppose to hurt, right?
So one day he kept going. Even after I loudly protested! None of my tricks worked, he just decided to keep going until He felt he was done. That wasn't very fun, but let me tell you something, it worked. He finally realized I wasn't going to be mad at him, I wasn't going to be throw him out. He got it. (of course I got it worse. heheh)
So this is where it stands today. My husband spanks me when he needs to, or if the kids are around, then when he can. There really are no hard lines that we have drawn. One of the biggest things in our house is keeping the bathroom clean. Does he spank me everyday if I don't do the bathroom? No. But when he feels the need has arisen for a spanking, he delivers. I don't sit around everyday wondering if I'll get a spanking. If I get one, goodie for me, if I don't, oh well. I've decided I have more important things in life to worry about and my husband just can't spank me everyday. That's ok with me.
It's not an easy road. I believe everyone that takes this road will find different stops along the way. What works for some, does not work for others. If you're going to compare your relationship to someone else's, it won't work. You can take ideas, but you can't live their life. If you try, your setting yourself up for failure. Stories are great for fantasy, but the reality is, it's never going to be the same. Don't set yourself up for that kind of disappointment.
So, did I convert a vanilla? I guess you could say that. But he converted me too. He converted me into the submissive person I was born to be. He shows me everyday what true love is. Without his loving support, I may have never been bold enough to tell him my secret.
And that my friends would have been the biggest tragedy of all!
later..........
Once I realized it wasn't always about me, I had to figure out how to make it beneficial for Bossman to want to continue this lifestyle. What was his motivation for doing this? I decided that after every spanking, I would show him what a difference it made in me. Not only me, but our relationship. I showed him how much more submissive I am after a spanking. I showed him how much better sex is after a spanking. And guess what? He got it.
One day he just got it. One day he was spanking me, and he took it farther than he ever had. For you see, up to this point, I could still control the spanking. I knew that if I made too much noise, or wiggled a little too much he would stop. He probably knew this, but he also didn't want to hurt me. Even though I yearned for a really hard spanking, one that would leave a lasting impression, when the going got a little too much, I would just use my little tricks to make it stop. I still don't understand why I did that. Because afterward I would be so mad at myself. Why would I do that? Why would I stop a perfectly good spanking? For heaven sake, it's suppose to hurt, right?
So one day he kept going. Even after I loudly protested! None of my tricks worked, he just decided to keep going until He felt he was done. That wasn't very fun, but let me tell you something, it worked. He finally realized I wasn't going to be mad at him, I wasn't going to be throw him out. He got it. (of course I got it worse. heheh)
So this is where it stands today. My husband spanks me when he needs to, or if the kids are around, then when he can. There really are no hard lines that we have drawn. One of the biggest things in our house is keeping the bathroom clean. Does he spank me everyday if I don't do the bathroom? No. But when he feels the need has arisen for a spanking, he delivers. I don't sit around everyday wondering if I'll get a spanking. If I get one, goodie for me, if I don't, oh well. I've decided I have more important things in life to worry about and my husband just can't spank me everyday. That's ok with me.
It's not an easy road. I believe everyone that takes this road will find different stops along the way. What works for some, does not work for others. If you're going to compare your relationship to someone else's, it won't work. You can take ideas, but you can't live their life. If you try, your setting yourself up for failure. Stories are great for fantasy, but the reality is, it's never going to be the same. Don't set yourself up for that kind of disappointment.
So, did I convert a vanilla? I guess you could say that. But he converted me too. He converted me into the submissive person I was born to be. He shows me everyday what true love is. Without his loving support, I may have never been bold enough to tell him my secret.
And that my friends would have been the biggest tragedy of all!
later..........
My story part 3
I wrote him stories and letters about how I would like it to be. I had my fantasy within reach. But things didn't go so well at first. Oh he would try spanking me, but I would resist. What was I thinking?? This is what I wanted. But in my fantasy I wasn't a willing participant. How do you become willing, but not willing at the same time? It wasn't the same if I gave into him and just let him spank me. It wasn't nearly as erotic. This was not the way I dreamed it would be. My dreams had my husband being very dominating. In my dreams, my husband would only have to look at me with that look and I would immediately become submissive. Real life was so much harder, and it wasn't nearly as much of a turn on.
Spanking at this point became very important to me. Suddenly, it was all I could think of. It was in my heart. I finally realized that this was a part of me, and I would never be able to take it away. I wasn't sure how it was going to fit into my life because Bossman and I never seemed to be able to make it work the way I thought it should work.
Oh, we had some great times trying it out, don't get me wrong. The first time he actually took me over his knee and spanked me, I couldn't believe this was happening. I was excited, embarrassed, nervous, humiliated. Even though we had thoroughly discussed it, I still was mortified that this was turning me on. I still couldn't really look Bossman in the eye while discussing it. Truth be told, I still can't. It's better said at night, in the dark, where all secrets can be told and there will be no judgment. When a spanking is over, I can't look at him in the eye. He has to make me. He has to make me understand that this is ok. Doesn't that seem odd? I started this whole thing. I wanted this whole thing to take place, yet He has to make me understand that it's ok. He doesn't think I'm a freak, he doesn't think I'm weird. He understands that this is me.
Over the past 5 years we have tried a bunch of different things. We tried rules. Nope, that just wasn't going to work. We realized early on, that if we had a list of rules that was going to make him into a policeman. He was going to have to police my every move. And I expected him to. I would deliberately break a rule, just to see if he would punish. More times than not, he wouldn't. Poor man. He was trying to earn a living, raise his children. Why did I think he needed to police me too? But I thought he should, and if he didn't, I was very unhappy. Would I tell him? Heck no, asking for a spanking isn't in my vocabulary. It still isn't. Besides, my fantasy did NOT have me asking for a spanking. My strong, dominate husband was suppose to know when I needed to be spanked. Everyone woman knows that their man is suppose to read their mind. I'm no different. If he couldn't tell when I needed I spanking, well I'll be damned if I was going to tell him. I would just continue on my bratty way and to hell with him.
You probably guessed, that didn't work so well. And when that didn't work, we would throw d/d out the window. Thank goodness I live in a one story house, and d/d is made of rubber, because it kept bouncing back and never really broke. Every time we would throw it out the window, I would say to myself, fine, I don't really need it, I can be happy just reading it on the internet. And I could. If I had to. If push came to shove, and Bossman said, no way, I'm never doing that. I could live. I would survive and we could still be happy together. I would always wish it was there, but I would survive. I would still read about it on the internet, I would still dream about it, but I would live. For spanking will never, ever, be more important than Bossman.
But I'm one of the lucky ones. Bossman knows me better than I know myself, and by now he has figured out, I need this. So we keep working at it. Bossman noticed something about me and our relationship. I was more submissive after a spanking, and we, as a couple, were much happier. I was a happier wife, and our sex life was much better. MUCH better! So Bossman realized, we have to make this work.
We threw the rules out the window. Lucky for me, they were on paper and the paper blew away. Now he just tells me what he expects. If I let those expectations drop, I will probably get a spanking. Notice I said probably. This was hard for me learn. I had to learn that he wasn't always going to spank me when I thought I needed it. He was going to spank me when HE thought I needed it. What? He's the one in charge? DUH, Oh yeah, that was the part I was missing. Even though I am the one that brought this to our relationship, if it was going to work HE was going to have to be in charge.
So let me get this straight. If I want my husband to be in charge of my house, If I want my husband to dominate this relationship, then I have to stop topping from the bottom.
That's right, I said it. I have to give up control. What? How was I suppose to do that? I was the one that knew the way I wanted it. I had done all the reading, I had looked at all the websites. Me, me, me. This was all about me, wasn't it? Wasn't it?
There comes a point in any relationship when you have to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about your partner. When we start dating someone we worry about how we look, how we smell, what we will say. When you've been with someone a long time, does it really matter if you fart in front of them? Nope, not really. There are so many times when I've only thought about myself, and I didn't think about Bossman. I only cared about how he was treating me, I didn't stop and think about how I was treating him. That's a hard thing to admit, no matter who you are.
It's not always about me.
Although this blog is all about me, the rest of my life isn't, so since my kids need to be fed at least once a day, I better get to it.
later........
Spanking at this point became very important to me. Suddenly, it was all I could think of. It was in my heart. I finally realized that this was a part of me, and I would never be able to take it away. I wasn't sure how it was going to fit into my life because Bossman and I never seemed to be able to make it work the way I thought it should work.
Oh, we had some great times trying it out, don't get me wrong. The first time he actually took me over his knee and spanked me, I couldn't believe this was happening. I was excited, embarrassed, nervous, humiliated. Even though we had thoroughly discussed it, I still was mortified that this was turning me on. I still couldn't really look Bossman in the eye while discussing it. Truth be told, I still can't. It's better said at night, in the dark, where all secrets can be told and there will be no judgment. When a spanking is over, I can't look at him in the eye. He has to make me. He has to make me understand that this is ok. Doesn't that seem odd? I started this whole thing. I wanted this whole thing to take place, yet He has to make me understand that it's ok. He doesn't think I'm a freak, he doesn't think I'm weird. He understands that this is me.
Over the past 5 years we have tried a bunch of different things. We tried rules. Nope, that just wasn't going to work. We realized early on, that if we had a list of rules that was going to make him into a policeman. He was going to have to police my every move. And I expected him to. I would deliberately break a rule, just to see if he would punish. More times than not, he wouldn't. Poor man. He was trying to earn a living, raise his children. Why did I think he needed to police me too? But I thought he should, and if he didn't, I was very unhappy. Would I tell him? Heck no, asking for a spanking isn't in my vocabulary. It still isn't. Besides, my fantasy did NOT have me asking for a spanking. My strong, dominate husband was suppose to know when I needed to be spanked. Everyone woman knows that their man is suppose to read their mind. I'm no different. If he couldn't tell when I needed I spanking, well I'll be damned if I was going to tell him. I would just continue on my bratty way and to hell with him.
You probably guessed, that didn't work so well. And when that didn't work, we would throw d/d out the window. Thank goodness I live in a one story house, and d/d is made of rubber, because it kept bouncing back and never really broke. Every time we would throw it out the window, I would say to myself, fine, I don't really need it, I can be happy just reading it on the internet. And I could. If I had to. If push came to shove, and Bossman said, no way, I'm never doing that. I could live. I would survive and we could still be happy together. I would always wish it was there, but I would survive. I would still read about it on the internet, I would still dream about it, but I would live. For spanking will never, ever, be more important than Bossman.
But I'm one of the lucky ones. Bossman knows me better than I know myself, and by now he has figured out, I need this. So we keep working at it. Bossman noticed something about me and our relationship. I was more submissive after a spanking, and we, as a couple, were much happier. I was a happier wife, and our sex life was much better. MUCH better! So Bossman realized, we have to make this work.
We threw the rules out the window. Lucky for me, they were on paper and the paper blew away. Now he just tells me what he expects. If I let those expectations drop, I will probably get a spanking. Notice I said probably. This was hard for me learn. I had to learn that he wasn't always going to spank me when I thought I needed it. He was going to spank me when HE thought I needed it. What? He's the one in charge? DUH, Oh yeah, that was the part I was missing. Even though I am the one that brought this to our relationship, if it was going to work HE was going to have to be in charge.
So let me get this straight. If I want my husband to be in charge of my house, If I want my husband to dominate this relationship, then I have to stop topping from the bottom.
That's right, I said it. I have to give up control. What? How was I suppose to do that? I was the one that knew the way I wanted it. I had done all the reading, I had looked at all the websites. Me, me, me. This was all about me, wasn't it? Wasn't it?
There comes a point in any relationship when you have to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about your partner. When we start dating someone we worry about how we look, how we smell, what we will say. When you've been with someone a long time, does it really matter if you fart in front of them? Nope, not really. There are so many times when I've only thought about myself, and I didn't think about Bossman. I only cared about how he was treating me, I didn't stop and think about how I was treating him. That's a hard thing to admit, no matter who you are.
It's not always about me.
Although this blog is all about me, the rest of my life isn't, so since my kids need to be fed at least once a day, I better get to it.
later........
My story part 2
You may not have guessed this yet, but Bossman is a very smart person. So he knows a heck of a lot more than I do about the computer, which leads me to how he found out what I was truly into, on the computer, that is.
Ok, so I didn't know I had to delete my history from the computer. All my wonderful little spanking clips that I found on the net. Bossman found them. It wasn't hard to do, they were right there on the real player when he went to play something else.
Lucky for me, he was fine with it. He started asking me questions about it. But I was shy about it. I brushed it off. I was embarrassed. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know why I liked it, I didn't know why it turned me on, and I couldn't possibly discuss it with him. But I wanted to. Lord knows I wanted to.
So at night, when we would snuggle in bed, I would bring it. As long as I didn't have to look at him in the face, I was fine. As long as the lights were out, and I was spooning him and facing away from him, I could get brave. And so we would talk about it. I would tell him stories that I read, I would tell him about people that I read about that did this as a daily thing. I told him about d/d.
After that, I started leaving him things to read. Bossman isn't much of a reader, but I knew if I left short stories and articles in certain places, he would find them and read them. I started leaving them in a folder on the computer, so he would read them when he was alone, for I could never be around when he was reading them.
Once this was out, between us anyway, I started writing him letters. I would tell him how I feel about him, I would tell him what I wanted him to do, and I would try and tell him my feelings about this whole spanking matter. This was the time in our life when communication was high. We'd been married for over 10 years by then, but never had we told things like this to each other. It was a break-though. Who knew that communication was such a powerful force in a marriage?
This was also a terrible time with the rest of our life. We were struggling financially. He was ready to make changes to his career, but it was going to mean moving in with the in-laws, and uprooting our family. It meant being poor for awhile. By this time, our son was a baby, our daughter was probably about 9. This was one of the first times in our life we would be separated for more than a day. We would be apart, me with the kids, him trying to pass tests and get a job.
This was the first time in our marriage that we realized, we need each other. We couldn't live without each other. Life was at an all time low, but our love for each other was at an all time high. Something finally clicked. I realized that no matter what happened, this man was my one and only. I could tell him anything, and he would still love me. I knew it was finally safe to tell him my secrets.
When we finally ended up in the same house again and life settled down, we started talking about spanking again. I was hinting around that I would like to try d/d. How does a couple just suddenly try something so drastic? It seemed so easy in the stories and in the lives of others. How hard could this be? Could we also achieve the level of submission that I had read about? Could I be that kind of wife? And could he be that kind of husband?
This is turning out much longer than I thought, so I'll leave it like this for now.
later.....
Ok, so I didn't know I had to delete my history from the computer. All my wonderful little spanking clips that I found on the net. Bossman found them. It wasn't hard to do, they were right there on the real player when he went to play something else.
Lucky for me, he was fine with it. He started asking me questions about it. But I was shy about it. I brushed it off. I was embarrassed. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know why I liked it, I didn't know why it turned me on, and I couldn't possibly discuss it with him. But I wanted to. Lord knows I wanted to.
So at night, when we would snuggle in bed, I would bring it. As long as I didn't have to look at him in the face, I was fine. As long as the lights were out, and I was spooning him and facing away from him, I could get brave. And so we would talk about it. I would tell him stories that I read, I would tell him about people that I read about that did this as a daily thing. I told him about d/d.
After that, I started leaving him things to read. Bossman isn't much of a reader, but I knew if I left short stories and articles in certain places, he would find them and read them. I started leaving them in a folder on the computer, so he would read them when he was alone, for I could never be around when he was reading them.
Once this was out, between us anyway, I started writing him letters. I would tell him how I feel about him, I would tell him what I wanted him to do, and I would try and tell him my feelings about this whole spanking matter. This was the time in our life when communication was high. We'd been married for over 10 years by then, but never had we told things like this to each other. It was a break-though. Who knew that communication was such a powerful force in a marriage?
This was also a terrible time with the rest of our life. We were struggling financially. He was ready to make changes to his career, but it was going to mean moving in with the in-laws, and uprooting our family. It meant being poor for awhile. By this time, our son was a baby, our daughter was probably about 9. This was one of the first times in our life we would be separated for more than a day. We would be apart, me with the kids, him trying to pass tests and get a job.
This was the first time in our marriage that we realized, we need each other. We couldn't live without each other. Life was at an all time low, but our love for each other was at an all time high. Something finally clicked. I realized that no matter what happened, this man was my one and only. I could tell him anything, and he would still love me. I knew it was finally safe to tell him my secrets.
When we finally ended up in the same house again and life settled down, we started talking about spanking again. I was hinting around that I would like to try d/d. How does a couple just suddenly try something so drastic? It seemed so easy in the stories and in the lives of others. How hard could this be? Could we also achieve the level of submission that I had read about? Could I be that kind of wife? And could he be that kind of husband?
This is turning out much longer than I thought, so I'll leave it like this for now.
later.....
My story
Bonnies question over at the Sunday brunch got me thinking. I know you can smell wood burning, don't worry you'll get used to it. I know I have.
Converting the vanilla. Now there's something to think about. Do we really convert someone to this lifestyle or do we just introduce something that we already have a desire for, but just didn't know it?
I believe I was born to be spanked. It took me 33 years to figure that out. Or maybe I should say it took 33 years for me to admit it. For as far back as I can remember, I liked to think about being punished. I hated being punished by my parents, that was something to be feared, but I loved thinking about someone punishing me. When I played school with my friends, I always made sure I was the one that acted up in class and had to stand in the corner. When we played house, I was never the mother, I was always the child that would be naughty and have to be punished.
At the time, I would never have associated that with sex. Heck, I didn't even know what sex was, so I know it wasn't that. Furthermore, I was never a problem child, I never got punished at school, and if I got punished at home, well, like I said before, that was feared.
As a teen, I would fantasize about someone kidnapping me, and blindfolding me, and threating me if I spoke or moved. I would get turned on by thinking about being kidnapped with someone else, usually the latest crush I had, and because we were together we would end up falling in love. I could spend hours making up dramatic stories in my head. I still didn't really associate it to sex.
Then one day something happened. I was daydreaming about some horrible thing happening to me, and I realized, I'm getting turned on by this. Masturbation came next, and I realized it was much better if I was fantasizing about punishment.
Funny thing was, spanking wasn't really a part of it. At the time, it was just the drama of being dominated that could turn me on. The punishments in my dreams were usually standing in the corner, or being tied up or blindfolded. Nothing that really involved pain.
I used to think this was disgusting. This was a horrible thing to think about, and how could I possibly be turned on by something so disgusting? It was a terrible secret, and I was horrified that I could even think such thoughts. So I didn't tell anyone.
When I married Bossman, I was young. We met in high school and got married three years after graduation. He's the only man I've ever had sex with. I'm the only woman he's ever had sex with. Needless to say, we didn't have much experience in the bedroom. We had to learn everything together.
Even though we dated for 3 years before we got married, we didn't really know each other. How could we? We didn't even know ourselves. Was I going to tell him this deep, dark secret that I had? Heck no. He would look at me like I was crazy and then he would leave me.
About 5 years into marriage, this great thing we call the internet popped up. I never even thought of looking up stuff like this on the internet. I got involved in a parents chatroom. Met a great friend. She is still a friend, 8 years later, and we've never met. But we started talking about sexual fantasies. She told me things, I told her things, but not about my secret. Never about that. One thing she did was steer me into erotic websites. There I found all kinds of websites on bondage, bdsm, that sort of thing.
So there it was. Out in the open where anyone could read about it. And other people did these things, and it was more than I ever imagined. So I read, and read and read some more.
After awhile I found out what it was that really turned me on. The bdsm was interesting, but not really my thing. I thought bondage was my thing. So I started showing Bossman some of the sites. I mean really, what's so bad about bondage? I could approach bondage and not feel like a total freak. Honestly, that's what I thought I liked. Lucky for me, Bossman was eager to try bondage. He really thought it was fun, and hey, our sex life was finally getting good.
Meanwhile, I kept reading. I loved reading stories. I would sit for hours and be mesmerized by story after story. Then came the spanking stories.
I noticed that more and more I was reading just spanking stories. Suddenly I was thinking about spanking a lot. But how was I going to approach Bossman about spanking?? Spanking, the act of hitting another person on their butt and causing pain. So for years I just read about it and dreamed about it. I never really thought I would ever tell Bossman that this was what I truly wanted. How could I? He would think I was a freak.
One night we were fooling around with bondage, and somehow he pulled me over his knees. Oh my, I couldn't believe it. He didn't spank, but he was touching and rubbing, I thought I would die. Next day I told him, I really liked that position. Could we try that again? Please?
Next time we tried that, he gave a few swats. Proceeded to rub and touch all the right places. I couldn't believe my good fortune. For by now I was a full fledged spanko. I read spanking stories everyday. I looked forward to being alone so I could look for spanking videos. Finding the websites on d/d was like finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Finally, I knew what I wanted. I thought back to my childhood and realized, I had this in me all along, I just didn't know it.
This post is getting very long, so I'll continue on my next post. I will tell how I finally got the nerve to talk to Bossman about this, and how we have struggled to implement it in our lives.
later....
Converting the vanilla. Now there's something to think about. Do we really convert someone to this lifestyle or do we just introduce something that we already have a desire for, but just didn't know it?
I believe I was born to be spanked. It took me 33 years to figure that out. Or maybe I should say it took 33 years for me to admit it. For as far back as I can remember, I liked to think about being punished. I hated being punished by my parents, that was something to be feared, but I loved thinking about someone punishing me. When I played school with my friends, I always made sure I was the one that acted up in class and had to stand in the corner. When we played house, I was never the mother, I was always the child that would be naughty and have to be punished.
At the time, I would never have associated that with sex. Heck, I didn't even know what sex was, so I know it wasn't that. Furthermore, I was never a problem child, I never got punished at school, and if I got punished at home, well, like I said before, that was feared.
As a teen, I would fantasize about someone kidnapping me, and blindfolding me, and threating me if I spoke or moved. I would get turned on by thinking about being kidnapped with someone else, usually the latest crush I had, and because we were together we would end up falling in love. I could spend hours making up dramatic stories in my head. I still didn't really associate it to sex.
Then one day something happened. I was daydreaming about some horrible thing happening to me, and I realized, I'm getting turned on by this. Masturbation came next, and I realized it was much better if I was fantasizing about punishment.
Funny thing was, spanking wasn't really a part of it. At the time, it was just the drama of being dominated that could turn me on. The punishments in my dreams were usually standing in the corner, or being tied up or blindfolded. Nothing that really involved pain.
I used to think this was disgusting. This was a horrible thing to think about, and how could I possibly be turned on by something so disgusting? It was a terrible secret, and I was horrified that I could even think such thoughts. So I didn't tell anyone.
When I married Bossman, I was young. We met in high school and got married three years after graduation. He's the only man I've ever had sex with. I'm the only woman he's ever had sex with. Needless to say, we didn't have much experience in the bedroom. We had to learn everything together.
Even though we dated for 3 years before we got married, we didn't really know each other. How could we? We didn't even know ourselves. Was I going to tell him this deep, dark secret that I had? Heck no. He would look at me like I was crazy and then he would leave me.
About 5 years into marriage, this great thing we call the internet popped up. I never even thought of looking up stuff like this on the internet. I got involved in a parents chatroom. Met a great friend. She is still a friend, 8 years later, and we've never met. But we started talking about sexual fantasies. She told me things, I told her things, but not about my secret. Never about that. One thing she did was steer me into erotic websites. There I found all kinds of websites on bondage, bdsm, that sort of thing.
So there it was. Out in the open where anyone could read about it. And other people did these things, and it was more than I ever imagined. So I read, and read and read some more.
After awhile I found out what it was that really turned me on. The bdsm was interesting, but not really my thing. I thought bondage was my thing. So I started showing Bossman some of the sites. I mean really, what's so bad about bondage? I could approach bondage and not feel like a total freak. Honestly, that's what I thought I liked. Lucky for me, Bossman was eager to try bondage. He really thought it was fun, and hey, our sex life was finally getting good.
Meanwhile, I kept reading. I loved reading stories. I would sit for hours and be mesmerized by story after story. Then came the spanking stories.
I noticed that more and more I was reading just spanking stories. Suddenly I was thinking about spanking a lot. But how was I going to approach Bossman about spanking?? Spanking, the act of hitting another person on their butt and causing pain. So for years I just read about it and dreamed about it. I never really thought I would ever tell Bossman that this was what I truly wanted. How could I? He would think I was a freak.
One night we were fooling around with bondage, and somehow he pulled me over his knees. Oh my, I couldn't believe it. He didn't spank, but he was touching and rubbing, I thought I would die. Next day I told him, I really liked that position. Could we try that again? Please?
Next time we tried that, he gave a few swats. Proceeded to rub and touch all the right places. I couldn't believe my good fortune. For by now I was a full fledged spanko. I read spanking stories everyday. I looked forward to being alone so I could look for spanking videos. Finding the websites on d/d was like finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Finally, I knew what I wanted. I thought back to my childhood and realized, I had this in me all along, I just didn't know it.
This post is getting very long, so I'll continue on my next post. I will tell how I finally got the nerve to talk to Bossman about this, and how we have struggled to implement it in our lives.
later....
The worst part
The worst part was having him come in unexpectedly, grab my hands and tell me to stand in the corner. Yep, definitely the worst.
The worst part was I didn't give in readily, and I whined like a baby. He gave in and had me sit on the bed instead. Oh yes, that was the worst.
The worst part was sitting on the bed, waiting, wondering, thinking. I was so nervous, that had to be the worst.
The worst part was when he came and sat on the bed and I was standing between his knees and he told me I had to pull down my own pants. I hate pulling down my own pants. That was the worst.
The worst part was being pulled over his knee with my pants and panties down around my ankles. My bare bottom a very easy target. Absolutely the worst.
The worst part was when the first slap of the bamboo backscratcher slapped down on my bare bottom. Oh ouch, that was the worst.
The worst part was when he kept spanking my bottom with that horrible, evil thing, and I started making those weird noises and kicking my legs. Embarrassing, for sure the worst.
The worst part was since I haven't been spanked for awhile, it hurt like hell. Oh boy did it hurt. Oh was it the worst.
The worst part was after it was over, he led me to the bathroom so I could look at the damage in the mirror. Oh the humility of it all. The worst, for sure.
The worst part was when he made me put my pants back on, without panties, so I could feel it the rest of the day. That had to be the worst.
Actually, now that I think about it, the worst part of the whole thing is....
I can't wait for it to happen again.
That's the worst.
later.........
The worst part was I didn't give in readily, and I whined like a baby. He gave in and had me sit on the bed instead. Oh yes, that was the worst.
The worst part was sitting on the bed, waiting, wondering, thinking. I was so nervous, that had to be the worst.
The worst part was when he came and sat on the bed and I was standing between his knees and he told me I had to pull down my own pants. I hate pulling down my own pants. That was the worst.
The worst part was being pulled over his knee with my pants and panties down around my ankles. My bare bottom a very easy target. Absolutely the worst.
The worst part was when the first slap of the bamboo backscratcher slapped down on my bare bottom. Oh ouch, that was the worst.
The worst part was when he kept spanking my bottom with that horrible, evil thing, and I started making those weird noises and kicking my legs. Embarrassing, for sure the worst.
The worst part was since I haven't been spanked for awhile, it hurt like hell. Oh boy did it hurt. Oh was it the worst.
The worst part was after it was over, he led me to the bathroom so I could look at the damage in the mirror. Oh the humility of it all. The worst, for sure.
The worst part was when he made me put my pants back on, without panties, so I could feel it the rest of the day. That had to be the worst.
Actually, now that I think about it, the worst part of the whole thing is....
I can't wait for it to happen again.
That's the worst.
later.........
new links
Look, I figured it out. I got links!!!!
I did not ask Bossman for help, Hooray for me!
Anyway, it took me awhile to figure it out, so I'll be putting more up later, when I have more time.
Gotta run, little man is B-O-R-E-D! I guess that means I've been on this computer too long!
later......
I did not ask Bossman for help, Hooray for me!
Anyway, it took me awhile to figure it out, so I'll be putting more up later, when I have more time.
Gotta run, little man is B-O-R-E-D! I guess that means I've been on this computer too long!
later......
catching up
Camping was great! We had loads of fun, the sun was bright, the beach was beautiful as ever. As a family, we got along splendidly. I cherish these moments because the wildchild (who is about to be a junior in high school) will be gone in a few short years, and I just KNOW I'll miss these family times.
Bossman is out of town this weekend. This is not a fun thing for me. I can count on my hand how many times we've been apart overnight. That's one hand folks. One hand.
That might sound a little pathetic, and frankly it sounds a little pathetic to me, but the truth is, we don't like going places without each other. We are not the type of couple that does things separately. Don't get me wrong, we aren't joined at the hip or anything. We have our separate hobbies. But going away, all night, or two nights in a row, we just don't do it.
So here I am, typing in my blog, instead of sleeping, like I'm usually doing at this time. Pathetic, just pathetic.
Another pathetic thing in my life right now is NO spanking. Ok, there was this one, last week when the kids were spending the night at grandmas, but, it's not even worth writing about. It was just a hand spanking, and there wasn't even any fooling around afterward.
It seems that since I know that spanking isn't an option right now, I've just blocked it out of my mind. I haven't focused on it, so it's just not as important as it was. Now, don't get me wrong. I'll take anything I can get and I'm not giving spanking up anytime soon but I am just not really in the mood. So when there is an opportunity for a spanking, it seems like it's just something to do, something that we are suppose to do and it doesn't seem to have any meaning.
But yet, something is missing from our lives. It's the one thing that keeps Bossman and I close. It's the one thing that can keep us connected even when the rest of the world is crapping on us. It's the thing that binds our relationship and makes us whole.
~sigh~
I miss it. I miss spanking!
But most of all, I miss Bossman right now.
later.........
Bossman is out of town this weekend. This is not a fun thing for me. I can count on my hand how many times we've been apart overnight. That's one hand folks. One hand.
That might sound a little pathetic, and frankly it sounds a little pathetic to me, but the truth is, we don't like going places without each other. We are not the type of couple that does things separately. Don't get me wrong, we aren't joined at the hip or anything. We have our separate hobbies. But going away, all night, or two nights in a row, we just don't do it.
So here I am, typing in my blog, instead of sleeping, like I'm usually doing at this time. Pathetic, just pathetic.
Another pathetic thing in my life right now is NO spanking. Ok, there was this one, last week when the kids were spending the night at grandmas, but, it's not even worth writing about. It was just a hand spanking, and there wasn't even any fooling around afterward.
It seems that since I know that spanking isn't an option right now, I've just blocked it out of my mind. I haven't focused on it, so it's just not as important as it was. Now, don't get me wrong. I'll take anything I can get and I'm not giving spanking up anytime soon but I am just not really in the mood. So when there is an opportunity for a spanking, it seems like it's just something to do, something that we are suppose to do and it doesn't seem to have any meaning.
But yet, something is missing from our lives. It's the one thing that keeps Bossman and I close. It's the one thing that can keep us connected even when the rest of the world is crapping on us. It's the thing that binds our relationship and makes us whole.
~sigh~
I miss it. I miss spanking!
But most of all, I miss Bossman right now.
later.........
better late than never
I know the 4th has past, but check out this link.
Don't forget to turn your sound up.
http://patriotfiles.org/Pledge.htm
later........
Don't forget to turn your sound up.
http://patriotfiles.org/Pledge.htm
later........
Fathers day
Fathers day is a hard day for me. The only person I celebrate on that day is the father of my children. Bossman is the best father there is. He is caring and loving and he spends a lot of time with our kids. I sometimes envy my children for having such a great father.
I never had a great father. I never even had a good one.
My father left my mother when I was about 5. One day when I was pregnant with my wildchild, he just called. Apparently my younger sister decided to get in touch with him. Without telling me. So surprise to me, my father calls.
I'll be honest. I thought a lot about him. I wondered how a father could just carry on his life without wondering about his girls. I wondered if he thought about me on my birthday or holidays. I even went to the library and looked his name up in the phone book of his city. I wrote it down and carried it with me in my wallet.
I never called the number. I just knew I had it.
My mother remarried. My stepfather was great, until I was in the 6th grade. Then he decided to sexually assault me. My mother was at work. It wouldn't be until years later that I found out that my mother knew. She took us all to counseling. I knew it was because of that. But I would never tell anyone I knew. They all thought I was asleep. I wouldn't have told anyone, I was too ashamed. I was too afraid.
I blame my father for all that. Isn't that strange? I didn't think to blame my step father. Sure, I knew it was my step fathers fault but blame my real father. The one who should have been there to protect me. The one that should have been there to take care of me and make sure nothing happened. The one that I could look up to. That one.
So, now my father wants to make amends. He's come to visit once since that day he called. The visit was 15 years ago. He lives across the country from me. But he calls and he sends cards. He sends cards to the kids also.
The cards he sends are mushy. I HATE them. The talk about how he's watched me grow into a beautiful woman. HUH?? He hasn't watched anything. He wasn't there. He tried to make me feel bad because I didn't send him a card for fathers day. I will NEVER send him a card for fathers day. He doesn't get it.
I'm a fairly religious person. I believe in forgiveness. Part of me wants to forgive. I know he won't be around long. What will I feel when he's gone? Will I feel regret? Will I regret that I didn't give him a chance? Will I regret that I didn't try hard enough to have a relationship with him? This is something that plagues me a lot. I often wonder what I will feel when that day comes.
I called him on Fathers day. I don't want to regret anything later. So I called. It was about a 3 minute conversation. How are you? Fine? Good, me too. yes, kids are good. Ok, take care, bye now.
Those of you with good fathers, cherish them. Love them with all your heart and soul. Remember how lucky you are to have a good, decent man in your life. Someone to take care of you. Someone to love you.
You are very lucky people. I envy you.
later........
I never had a great father. I never even had a good one.
My father left my mother when I was about 5. One day when I was pregnant with my wildchild, he just called. Apparently my younger sister decided to get in touch with him. Without telling me. So surprise to me, my father calls.
I'll be honest. I thought a lot about him. I wondered how a father could just carry on his life without wondering about his girls. I wondered if he thought about me on my birthday or holidays. I even went to the library and looked his name up in the phone book of his city. I wrote it down and carried it with me in my wallet.
I never called the number. I just knew I had it.
My mother remarried. My stepfather was great, until I was in the 6th grade. Then he decided to sexually assault me. My mother was at work. It wouldn't be until years later that I found out that my mother knew. She took us all to counseling. I knew it was because of that. But I would never tell anyone I knew. They all thought I was asleep. I wouldn't have told anyone, I was too ashamed. I was too afraid.
I blame my father for all that. Isn't that strange? I didn't think to blame my step father. Sure, I knew it was my step fathers fault but blame my real father. The one who should have been there to protect me. The one that should have been there to take care of me and make sure nothing happened. The one that I could look up to. That one.
So, now my father wants to make amends. He's come to visit once since that day he called. The visit was 15 years ago. He lives across the country from me. But he calls and he sends cards. He sends cards to the kids also.
The cards he sends are mushy. I HATE them. The talk about how he's watched me grow into a beautiful woman. HUH?? He hasn't watched anything. He wasn't there. He tried to make me feel bad because I didn't send him a card for fathers day. I will NEVER send him a card for fathers day. He doesn't get it.
I'm a fairly religious person. I believe in forgiveness. Part of me wants to forgive. I know he won't be around long. What will I feel when he's gone? Will I feel regret? Will I regret that I didn't give him a chance? Will I regret that I didn't try hard enough to have a relationship with him? This is something that plagues me a lot. I often wonder what I will feel when that day comes.
I called him on Fathers day. I don't want to regret anything later. So I called. It was about a 3 minute conversation. How are you? Fine? Good, me too. yes, kids are good. Ok, take care, bye now.
Those of you with good fathers, cherish them. Love them with all your heart and soul. Remember how lucky you are to have a good, decent man in your life. Someone to take care of you. Someone to love you.
You are very lucky people. I envy you.
later........
Clarification
Paul got me thinking about my last post and after re-reading it I realized I didn't really state why I feel weird about my noises and such.
I don't know why.
I guess I can't get it through my thick head that spanking is ok. It's really not a weird thing at all. There a plenty of people who like spanking. Some like it for erotic purposes, some think it for discipline and some like it for both.
I know all that in my head. I read it everyday. I read other peoples blogs, I read about their lives, spanking and not. They are perfectly normal humans that just happen to think spanking is a good thing.
Society as a whole probably wouldn't agree with me though. That is where the problem lies for me.
My whole life I have tried to be politically correct about everything. I was the good girl of the family. I never partied, never drank, never got into trouble. I went, and still go, to church every week. I got married young, had 2 children, got the station wagon and the white picket fence.
So where does spanking fit into that life?
Spanking is so off the path of my life that I never could, and still can't, figure out how to make it ok in my life.
Ok, that's not exactly true. We have made it work in our life, somewhat, but I can't say it's ok. Deep inside I feel like it's wrong. It's naughty. It's not normal. How can reading about spanking and receiving spankings make my body react in such sexual ways? My irrational mind will tell me that it's just not normal. Normal people wouldn't have these thoughts and feelings, right?
So maybe that's why I hate the noises I make. Why would a grown woman allow her husband to spank her? Where is my loyalty to womanhood? The woman's libber in me wants to scream that it's not fair. My husband shouldn't be able to have that much control.
And why don't I try and block the swats? Shouldn't a normal person want to stop the pain? I hate the pain part of a spanking anyway. But yet I allow my husband to inflict pain on me. This can't be normal I should want to block it as much as possible, right?
Ok, maybe I'm just being irrational. I get to choose what happens to me. I choose to let my husband lead our house. I choose to let him swat my butt when things are out of control. I choose to read the spanking stories and website with utter fascination. And I like it.
It's really ok to have a spanking kink. That doesn't make me a bad person, or a weird person, right?
I'll just keep telling myself that.
later.......
I don't know why.
I guess I can't get it through my thick head that spanking is ok. It's really not a weird thing at all. There a plenty of people who like spanking. Some like it for erotic purposes, some think it for discipline and some like it for both.
I know all that in my head. I read it everyday. I read other peoples blogs, I read about their lives, spanking and not. They are perfectly normal humans that just happen to think spanking is a good thing.
Society as a whole probably wouldn't agree with me though. That is where the problem lies for me.
My whole life I have tried to be politically correct about everything. I was the good girl of the family. I never partied, never drank, never got into trouble. I went, and still go, to church every week. I got married young, had 2 children, got the station wagon and the white picket fence.
So where does spanking fit into that life?
Spanking is so off the path of my life that I never could, and still can't, figure out how to make it ok in my life.
Ok, that's not exactly true. We have made it work in our life, somewhat, but I can't say it's ok. Deep inside I feel like it's wrong. It's naughty. It's not normal. How can reading about spanking and receiving spankings make my body react in such sexual ways? My irrational mind will tell me that it's just not normal. Normal people wouldn't have these thoughts and feelings, right?
So maybe that's why I hate the noises I make. Why would a grown woman allow her husband to spank her? Where is my loyalty to womanhood? The woman's libber in me wants to scream that it's not fair. My husband shouldn't be able to have that much control.
And why don't I try and block the swats? Shouldn't a normal person want to stop the pain? I hate the pain part of a spanking anyway. But yet I allow my husband to inflict pain on me. This can't be normal I should want to block it as much as possible, right?
Ok, maybe I'm just being irrational. I get to choose what happens to me. I choose to let my husband lead our house. I choose to let him swat my butt when things are out of control. I choose to read the spanking stories and website with utter fascination. And I like it.
It's really ok to have a spanking kink. That doesn't make me a bad person, or a weird person, right?
I'll just keep telling myself that.
later.......
weird noises
I hate the noises I make when I'm being spanked. There, I said it!
Am I the only one that has this problem?
I don't think I've ever read about someone that has this problem. Most people think it's cool. I know the spankers of the bunch usually love the sounds that come out of a woman being spanked. I know Bossman doesn't have any problems with them. He says he likes them.
I, on the other hand, think I sound stupid.
I really think I sound like a dork. A couple of spankings ago, I was trying sooo hard not to make noises. But I grunt, and then I start this annoying whining, saying things such as, ow, and ouch, and oooo, awww...you know, stuff like that. I find myself really annoying.
Of course it's gonna hurt, that's what spankings are all about. So why do I feel the need to say Ouch?
Ok, here's something else weird about me. I have no desire to put my hands back and block the spanking.
Doesn't that strike you as weird? I mean really, in all the stories and blogs I've read, spankees seem to have a horrible time trying to keep their hands away from the line of fire. Me? I have no problem with this. Apparently I like having my butt whacked with spoons and paddles and have no desire to protect my hiney.
So here's where we stand. I sound like a dork when I'm being spanked, and I have no desire to protect my hiney when it's being abused.
But I'd like to say one thing. I LOVE looking to see how red it is when the spanking is over. I find most of the time, it's not as bad as it seemed when it was happening. I feel like my tush is on fire, that it's swollen to monstrous proportions and I may never sit again. Then when I look, I feel like a wuss because it doesn't even look that bad.
Man, I am such a baby!
later........
Am I the only one that has this problem?
I don't think I've ever read about someone that has this problem. Most people think it's cool. I know the spankers of the bunch usually love the sounds that come out of a woman being spanked. I know Bossman doesn't have any problems with them. He says he likes them.
I, on the other hand, think I sound stupid.
I really think I sound like a dork. A couple of spankings ago, I was trying sooo hard not to make noises. But I grunt, and then I start this annoying whining, saying things such as, ow, and ouch, and oooo, awww...you know, stuff like that. I find myself really annoying.
Of course it's gonna hurt, that's what spankings are all about. So why do I feel the need to say Ouch?
Ok, here's something else weird about me. I have no desire to put my hands back and block the spanking.
Doesn't that strike you as weird? I mean really, in all the stories and blogs I've read, spankees seem to have a horrible time trying to keep their hands away from the line of fire. Me? I have no problem with this. Apparently I like having my butt whacked with spoons and paddles and have no desire to protect my hiney.
So here's where we stand. I sound like a dork when I'm being spanked, and I have no desire to protect my hiney when it's being abused.
But I'd like to say one thing. I LOVE looking to see how red it is when the spanking is over. I find most of the time, it's not as bad as it seemed when it was happening. I feel like my tush is on fire, that it's swollen to monstrous proportions and I may never sit again. Then when I look, I feel like a wuss because it doesn't even look that bad.
Man, I am such a baby!
later........
last day of peace
Today is the last day of school for the wildchild. She will officially be a junior in high school next year. She failed history class both semesters so she will be going to summer school.
My wildchild is a beautiful girl. The worst part is, she knows it. She's a really good kid, she just hates school. She could care less about such mundane things as math and history. She thinks the world is going to serve her on a silver platter. She also thinks she's the next American Idol.
Granted, she has a great singing voice. She just doesn't think anyone will say no to her. (Except her parents who say NO daily!)
The little man has one more week of school.
Do you all get what I'm saying? Do you understand the sadness in it all?
Limited spankings.
Of course there will be the occasional spending the night and grandmas, but still. still.
Oh well, lets relive the last spanking, shall we?
Last week, I had really been needing a spanking. I hadn't had one in a few days, and I was really putting things on the back burner.
Bossman came home and decided the time had come for a spanking. Because I hadn't really touched the bathroom, he decided the spoon was in order.
Have you been spanked with a spoon before? A nice big wooden spoon? OUCH, it doesn't feel good. I don't like it one bit. It's hard, and it's unforgiving on my tush.
But I had it coming. So the spoon it was. Now I'm pretty lucky in the fact that Bossman warms me up first. I don't think I could make it if he didn't.
Did I mention the spoon hurts?
How is it that after a spanking, I feel absolutely wonderful? I really enjoy being put over my husbands knee and given a hard spanking. There is something refreshing. Something renewing, almost like a new beginning. Maybe that's why I need it so much.
Well, I maybe not be getting too many spankings this summer, but the Bossman has said he will be trying other forms of discipline to make sure we stay on track. I don't really like the sound of that, but I am willing to try anything to keep this good thing going.
One thing I do know, I WILL be able to sleep in!
And THAT, is a good thing ;)
later.......
My wildchild is a beautiful girl. The worst part is, she knows it. She's a really good kid, she just hates school. She could care less about such mundane things as math and history. She thinks the world is going to serve her on a silver platter. She also thinks she's the next American Idol.
Granted, she has a great singing voice. She just doesn't think anyone will say no to her. (Except her parents who say NO daily!)
The little man has one more week of school.
Do you all get what I'm saying? Do you understand the sadness in it all?
Limited spankings.
Of course there will be the occasional spending the night and grandmas, but still. still.
Oh well, lets relive the last spanking, shall we?
Last week, I had really been needing a spanking. I hadn't had one in a few days, and I was really putting things on the back burner.
Bossman came home and decided the time had come for a spanking. Because I hadn't really touched the bathroom, he decided the spoon was in order.
Have you been spanked with a spoon before? A nice big wooden spoon? OUCH, it doesn't feel good. I don't like it one bit. It's hard, and it's unforgiving on my tush.
But I had it coming. So the spoon it was. Now I'm pretty lucky in the fact that Bossman warms me up first. I don't think I could make it if he didn't.
Did I mention the spoon hurts?
How is it that after a spanking, I feel absolutely wonderful? I really enjoy being put over my husbands knee and given a hard spanking. There is something refreshing. Something renewing, almost like a new beginning. Maybe that's why I need it so much.
Well, I maybe not be getting too many spankings this summer, but the Bossman has said he will be trying other forms of discipline to make sure we stay on track. I don't really like the sound of that, but I am willing to try anything to keep this good thing going.
One thing I do know, I WILL be able to sleep in!
And THAT, is a good thing ;)
later.......
Changes
I decided to change my blog around a bit. I thought I could use a bit of color.
I'm really terrible at computer stuff. I can find my way around the net, but trying to change my blog around is a nightmare. I don't understand all that html stuff. I don't even know how to add links to my blog.
Since I would like to add links, I'm going to try and learn all this stuff.
I just hope I don't mess up this blog. I'd hate to start all over again.
later.....
P.S. I had a really hard spanking yesterday, well deserved, I might add, and I will blog on that on Monday!! Stay tuned!
I'm really terrible at computer stuff. I can find my way around the net, but trying to change my blog around is a nightmare. I don't understand all that html stuff. I don't even know how to add links to my blog.
Since I would like to add links, I'm going to try and learn all this stuff.
I just hope I don't mess up this blog. I'd hate to start all over again.
later.....
P.S. I had a really hard spanking yesterday, well deserved, I might add, and I will blog on that on Monday!! Stay tuned!
Little man turns 8
My little man is 8 years old today!
Is there anything sweeter than a childs birthday? He is so excited. Of course Mommy had to bring cupcakes to his class, so he can be the king of everything today.
But dumb Mommy went to wal-mart first. Dumb mommy got in line at 9:30 this morning in walmart, where there are only 2 cashiers, of course, and didn't get out of line until 9:45.
Did I mention I was suppose to be at his class at 10?
Did I mention I locked my keys in the car?
Am I the most horrible mommy ever? How could I be late? How could I have been so completely STUPID!!!
After I called Bossman, crying and telling him what a horrible stupid mommy I am, he came at opened the door for me. Don't worry, I called the school.
I got to the school at 10:06. They were out for recess. Remember recess? Kids running around, playing on the swings, sliding on the slides, just having fun. So I search the crowd for my little man. I pray he won't be mad. I'm praying he isn't totally disappointed in me, and I haven't ruined his day.
Finally, I spot him. He's playing on the tire swing with a gaggle of girls. My son, the ladies man. I stand there and just watch him. I don't get a chance to watch him without him knowing, so it was interesting to watch him interact with all the other kids.
He's such a sweet boy. He's got red hair and freckles. But not the fire red, more of the stawberry blonde red. His freckles dot his nose. He's got the most chocolate brown eyes you've ever seen.
Did I mention the girls were all over him? They were teasing him and pushing him on the swing, and at that moment he was the king of the world. If only we could bottle up those moments and save them forever.
So finally one of the children see me, and run over to him, yelling, Little man, it's your mom, it's you MOM!!!
So he looks over, sees me, and runs full speed into my arms! I pull him into my arms and swing him around. I put him down and tell him how sorry I am. He looks up and me with those beautiful brown eyes and says, Mom, it's ok, I'm so GLAD your here. Watch me mom, watch me swing with the girls!!!
Did I spoil his day? Nah...he was in heaven. He took a trip around the tire swing, and then he came and sat with me. I asked if he always played with the girls, he said, "Mom, I usually play on the field with the guys, but I was waiting for you because I knew you'd show up!"
So, there you have it. I think I have the most perfect child ever. I don't deserve such a wonder. I don't deserve to have undying affections.
But I'm so lucky I do.
later.......
Is there anything sweeter than a childs birthday? He is so excited. Of course Mommy had to bring cupcakes to his class, so he can be the king of everything today.
But dumb Mommy went to wal-mart first. Dumb mommy got in line at 9:30 this morning in walmart, where there are only 2 cashiers, of course, and didn't get out of line until 9:45.
Did I mention I was suppose to be at his class at 10?
Did I mention I locked my keys in the car?
Am I the most horrible mommy ever? How could I be late? How could I have been so completely STUPID!!!
After I called Bossman, crying and telling him what a horrible stupid mommy I am, he came at opened the door for me. Don't worry, I called the school.
I got to the school at 10:06. They were out for recess. Remember recess? Kids running around, playing on the swings, sliding on the slides, just having fun. So I search the crowd for my little man. I pray he won't be mad. I'm praying he isn't totally disappointed in me, and I haven't ruined his day.
Finally, I spot him. He's playing on the tire swing with a gaggle of girls. My son, the ladies man. I stand there and just watch him. I don't get a chance to watch him without him knowing, so it was interesting to watch him interact with all the other kids.
He's such a sweet boy. He's got red hair and freckles. But not the fire red, more of the stawberry blonde red. His freckles dot his nose. He's got the most chocolate brown eyes you've ever seen.
Did I mention the girls were all over him? They were teasing him and pushing him on the swing, and at that moment he was the king of the world. If only we could bottle up those moments and save them forever.
So finally one of the children see me, and run over to him, yelling, Little man, it's your mom, it's you MOM!!!
So he looks over, sees me, and runs full speed into my arms! I pull him into my arms and swing him around. I put him down and tell him how sorry I am. He looks up and me with those beautiful brown eyes and says, Mom, it's ok, I'm so GLAD your here. Watch me mom, watch me swing with the girls!!!
Did I spoil his day? Nah...he was in heaven. He took a trip around the tire swing, and then he came and sat with me. I asked if he always played with the girls, he said, "Mom, I usually play on the field with the guys, but I was waiting for you because I knew you'd show up!"
So, there you have it. I think I have the most perfect child ever. I don't deserve such a wonder. I don't deserve to have undying affections.
But I'm so lucky I do.
later.......
weirdest spanking yet!
Yesterday Bossman gave me a spanking for the remote thing (see previous post) and for being very lazy. (yes, it's true, I spent hours on the computer on Monday, and didn't clean ANYTHING in this house...sigh)
So He put me against the wall. We don't have any available corners in the bedroom, so he has me stand against the wall with my pants down and my hands behind my back. Chest must be against the wall. I'm only standing there long enough for him to get his weapon of choice. In this case it was the most dreaded of all spanking implements, the wooden spoon. He also likes using the 28cent paint stirrer.
Anyway, after he is prepared, he takes me over his knee. He sits on the bed, and pulls me over one knee so my upper body is on the bed. He starts telling me all the reasons that this spanking is way over due. And he starts spanking, first with the paint thingie because it's not as harsh and is a very nice warm up. Everything is going fine until the phone rings. Since Bossman was expecting a business call, he answered it.
Mind you, I'm still over his knee. And he's conducting business. That's right folks, I'm over his knee listening to him talk to clients. Sheez, of all the indignities! Then he takes the paint thingie and wedges it in my butt crack. And still he's talking, and talking and talking. Very, very weird!
Actually, the whole thing was funny, and I was trying very hard not to laugh at the lunacy of the whole thing.
Don't worry, as soon as the call was over, the wooden spoon was introduced to my bottom. GEEZ, how much does that stupid thing hurt? Even after the warm up, that thing really hurts.
Of course, now Bossman has decided that since I LOVE the wooden spoon soooo much that if I decide that the computer is more important than cleaning the bathroom, then I should have a meeting with the spoon. Only. Just. the. wooden. spoon! Oh yikes, I am not too happy about that, but I can assure you that I will be cleaning the bathroom.
As a matter of fact, I better go now, Bossman is due home, and I don't want to test him today...my butt is still sore!
later.............
So He put me against the wall. We don't have any available corners in the bedroom, so he has me stand against the wall with my pants down and my hands behind my back. Chest must be against the wall. I'm only standing there long enough for him to get his weapon of choice. In this case it was the most dreaded of all spanking implements, the wooden spoon. He also likes using the 28cent paint stirrer.
Anyway, after he is prepared, he takes me over his knee. He sits on the bed, and pulls me over one knee so my upper body is on the bed. He starts telling me all the reasons that this spanking is way over due. And he starts spanking, first with the paint thingie because it's not as harsh and is a very nice warm up. Everything is going fine until the phone rings. Since Bossman was expecting a business call, he answered it.
Mind you, I'm still over his knee. And he's conducting business. That's right folks, I'm over his knee listening to him talk to clients. Sheez, of all the indignities! Then he takes the paint thingie and wedges it in my butt crack. And still he's talking, and talking and talking. Very, very weird!
Actually, the whole thing was funny, and I was trying very hard not to laugh at the lunacy of the whole thing.
Don't worry, as soon as the call was over, the wooden spoon was introduced to my bottom. GEEZ, how much does that stupid thing hurt? Even after the warm up, that thing really hurts.
Of course, now Bossman has decided that since I LOVE the wooden spoon soooo much that if I decide that the computer is more important than cleaning the bathroom, then I should have a meeting with the spoon. Only. Just. the. wooden. spoon! Oh yikes, I am not too happy about that, but I can assure you that I will be cleaning the bathroom.
As a matter of fact, I better go now, Bossman is due home, and I don't want to test him today...my butt is still sore!
later.............
things that make you go, hmmmm...
If I want my husband to be the head of household, if I want to be submissive in this relationship, why do I have such a hard time giving up control?
Little things are coming up and causing me to question this control issue. For instances, the other night we were watching tv. We have a dvr so we can pause and fastforward stuff. Well the channel went dark for a few minutes. So Bossman put it on pause and said, we'll just wait a few minutes and then go back to it, that way we can fastforward the commercials.
Sounds logical right? So why did I have to grab the remote and see if it was working again? Why couldn't I have just done what he said? What is so hard about that?
He gave me a very upset look and said, Why can't you just do what I say...just once? Of course the evening was ruined.
It was a very little thing, I know, but still, when you ask someone to be in charge of things, but then you constantly want to do things your own way.....even little things...then what?
Later he said if the kids weren't still up and around, he would have spanked me. He said he can't wait until he can put spanking into more use. He said that by me grabbing the remote like that it belittled him, it made him feel like he wasn't important. Of course, now I feel terrible. I totally deserved a spanking. I should not have made him feel that way.
But this has led me to wonder about this whole control issue. How do I balance it all out?
How can a person be submissive, yet still want to be in control?
How?
later...............
Little things are coming up and causing me to question this control issue. For instances, the other night we were watching tv. We have a dvr so we can pause and fastforward stuff. Well the channel went dark for a few minutes. So Bossman put it on pause and said, we'll just wait a few minutes and then go back to it, that way we can fastforward the commercials.
Sounds logical right? So why did I have to grab the remote and see if it was working again? Why couldn't I have just done what he said? What is so hard about that?
He gave me a very upset look and said, Why can't you just do what I say...just once? Of course the evening was ruined.
It was a very little thing, I know, but still, when you ask someone to be in charge of things, but then you constantly want to do things your own way.....even little things...then what?
Later he said if the kids weren't still up and around, he would have spanked me. He said he can't wait until he can put spanking into more use. He said that by me grabbing the remote like that it belittled him, it made him feel like he wasn't important. Of course, now I feel terrible. I totally deserved a spanking. I should not have made him feel that way.
But this has led me to wonder about this whole control issue. How do I balance it all out?
How can a person be submissive, yet still want to be in control?
How?
later...............
Is there anything better?
My son (who is almost 8) made me a mothers day card at school. Yesterday morning, he and the wildchild made me breakfast and brought it to me in bed. Then he gave me the card.
Now this card is just like you would imagine any mothersday card made by a 7 year old. There is a picture of me on the front, and somehow my neck is reeeealllly long. The words inside are sweet, but the words he told me, are even sweeter.
son: Mom, I have to tell you something, it's kinda embarrassing.
me: Ok sweetheart, tell me.
son: I almost cried at school, mom.
me: why hon?
son: Because, when I was making this card, I really messed it up. The neck was really long. It was too long mom, and I couldn't give it to you. I just couldn't. (imagine a very sad looking red head with the cutest dimple anywhere.)
me: So what happened?
son: My teacher let me start over 2 times.
me: did you cry?
son: No, but mom, I really was about too.
me: I'm sorry hon, I would have liked it, even if I did have a long neck.
son: But mom, it wasn't good enough for you.
me: (imagine a mom, in her ragged pjs with toast crumbs on the sheets, trying desperately not to
tear up.) oh sweetheart, thank you so much, it's the best card EVER!
son: Can I play my video games now?
me: (moment over) yes, son, go play your game.
There you have it, the best mothers day EVER! It just doesn't get any better than that!
later......
Now this card is just like you would imagine any mothersday card made by a 7 year old. There is a picture of me on the front, and somehow my neck is reeeealllly long. The words inside are sweet, but the words he told me, are even sweeter.
son: Mom, I have to tell you something, it's kinda embarrassing.
me: Ok sweetheart, tell me.
son: I almost cried at school, mom.
me: why hon?
son: Because, when I was making this card, I really messed it up. The neck was really long. It was too long mom, and I couldn't give it to you. I just couldn't. (imagine a very sad looking red head with the cutest dimple anywhere.)
me: So what happened?
son: My teacher let me start over 2 times.
me: did you cry?
son: No, but mom, I really was about too.
me: I'm sorry hon, I would have liked it, even if I did have a long neck.
son: But mom, it wasn't good enough for you.
me: (imagine a mom, in her ragged pjs with toast crumbs on the sheets, trying desperately not to
tear up.) oh sweetheart, thank you so much, it's the best card EVER!
son: Can I play my video games now?
me: (moment over) yes, son, go play your game.
There you have it, the best mothers day EVER! It just doesn't get any better than that!
later......
We're gonna party like it's your birthday!
Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday dear MEEEEE!!! Happy birthday tooooooo MEEEEEE!!
This was a public service annoucement!
Carry on..
later............
This was a public service annoucement!
Carry on..
later............
shower
He pushes me against the wall and sprays hot water over my body. My hands drift behind my back to fondle his cock. First he washes my hair. While putting the shampoo in my hair, he yanks my head back with a firmness that makes me gasp. I can only close my eyes and drift to the place of serene happiness and contentment. While I'm slowly drifting away, I am jerked back to reality by a burst of icy coldness down my back. My fiery skin is alive from the hotness of the water and the coolness of the soap. And then there is his hands, they are everywhere. They are smoothing the coolness of the soap over my body. They are pushing their way into the cracks and crevices of my body. They are alive and they are hot. I am again lulled into my fantasy land. His hands take the time to explore my slick hot skin. I am still pinned to the wall of the shower. My hands are exploring his balls and his cock. Without even thinking, my hands are slipping and sliding along his shaft.
He takes the time to turn me around, I am in my own world. Time in this world has stopped and nothing matters. My eyes cannot and will not open, for if they do, this world will disappear. I am again assaulted with the icy coldness of the liquid soap. He spreads my legs and soaps down my most vunerable spots. His fingers glide with the silky smoothness that only hot water and soap can accomplish. They glide into my darkness, searching for the spot. The spot that will send me crashing. The very spot that will, in one instant, send me soaring to the ends of the earth and come crashing back violently. My knees would buckle if he hand wasn't there, holding me up from deep within.
And then it's over. I know that when my eyes open the towel will be there and time will resume it's normal pace. But for a moment, I was there. I was in the place that is perfect. Nothing will ever ruin that place. That place is mine and His alone....
later.....
He takes the time to turn me around, I am in my own world. Time in this world has stopped and nothing matters. My eyes cannot and will not open, for if they do, this world will disappear. I am again assaulted with the icy coldness of the liquid soap. He spreads my legs and soaps down my most vunerable spots. His fingers glide with the silky smoothness that only hot water and soap can accomplish. They glide into my darkness, searching for the spot. The spot that will send me crashing. The very spot that will, in one instant, send me soaring to the ends of the earth and come crashing back violently. My knees would buckle if he hand wasn't there, holding me up from deep within.
And then it's over. I know that when my eyes open the towel will be there and time will resume it's normal pace. But for a moment, I was there. I was in the place that is perfect. Nothing will ever ruin that place. That place is mine and His alone....
later.....
When the kids are home....
there is no time for spanking!
Maybe that is the reason I keep dreaming of the day they are safely out of the nest and doing their own things. Of course once they are gone I'll miss them. So what's a gal to do?
Lucky for me school is back in session on Monday. Since I've been really lax with my bathroom duties (could there be a worse room to clean???) Bossman has informed me that Monday morning there will be a spanking in store for me.
Other than that, nothing important comes to mind. I've had nothing to report, nothing exciting to blog about, and frankly, I'm just boring.
Well, maybe Monday afternoon I will have something inspiring to write about.
Until then...
later............
Maybe that is the reason I keep dreaming of the day they are safely out of the nest and doing their own things. Of course once they are gone I'll miss them. So what's a gal to do?
Lucky for me school is back in session on Monday. Since I've been really lax with my bathroom duties (could there be a worse room to clean???) Bossman has informed me that Monday morning there will be a spanking in store for me.
Other than that, nothing important comes to mind. I've had nothing to report, nothing exciting to blog about, and frankly, I'm just boring.
Well, maybe Monday afternoon I will have something inspiring to write about.
Until then...
later............
life goes on
The spankings have been going great at my house!!! Hooray for me.
Bossman has been spanking me at least once a week. Usually not for anything other than he just likes the way I act afterwards. Hmmm, surprise surprise, I act better after a spanking....wow, do others know about this? Maybe I should spread the word....
I've been worried about the future lately. My children are getting older, the wildchild has only 2 more years of high school left, and although I still have time with my little man, he is still getting older faster than I can keep up. So my big worry is that Bossman and I will have alot more time to spend alone. I know, I know, this is a good thing. But I got worried that we would get bored with each other. I really just am afraid that we don't have anything in common and when we are alone more this will be a downfall.
Ok, we don't like the same music. Well, I like country, he doesn't. But we do both like 80's stuff. I could listen to my 80's station on the satellite all day. And we really don't have the same hobbies, I love reading, he hates it. He loves anything remote control, I don't. I think your getting the picture now.
Anyway, yesterday I was talking to Bossman about my thoughts and he just looked at me and said...please, we have the perfect relationship...why would you think thats going to change?
So there you have it folks...we have the perfect relationship. Bossman said it himself. Who really cares if we don't like the same things? Who cares if we get cranky with each other?
Not me, cuz like the man said...our relationship is perfect.
Tune in next week, when I tell you how unperfect life really is...for now, I'll just bask in the perfectness...
later...........
Bossman has been spanking me at least once a week. Usually not for anything other than he just likes the way I act afterwards. Hmmm, surprise surprise, I act better after a spanking....wow, do others know about this? Maybe I should spread the word....
I've been worried about the future lately. My children are getting older, the wildchild has only 2 more years of high school left, and although I still have time with my little man, he is still getting older faster than I can keep up. So my big worry is that Bossman and I will have alot more time to spend alone. I know, I know, this is a good thing. But I got worried that we would get bored with each other. I really just am afraid that we don't have anything in common and when we are alone more this will be a downfall.
Ok, we don't like the same music. Well, I like country, he doesn't. But we do both like 80's stuff. I could listen to my 80's station on the satellite all day. And we really don't have the same hobbies, I love reading, he hates it. He loves anything remote control, I don't. I think your getting the picture now.
Anyway, yesterday I was talking to Bossman about my thoughts and he just looked at me and said...please, we have the perfect relationship...why would you think thats going to change?
So there you have it folks...we have the perfect relationship. Bossman said it himself. Who really cares if we don't like the same things? Who cares if we get cranky with each other?
Not me, cuz like the man said...our relationship is perfect.
Tune in next week, when I tell you how unperfect life really is...for now, I'll just bask in the perfectness...
later...........
and the beat goes on...
On my BUTT!!!
Yes, we are still spanking away! I am so happy! We are still having some down time, but that happens to everyone. We are still working out the kinks (I love the word KINK!) in this whole arrangement, but basically I've gotten 3 spankings so far.
I got 2 last week and one yesterday. They haven't really been for not doing something, they have been more for the fact that he just wants to spank me (hooray for me! ) and also because he said he likes my attitude after I've been spanked. (the submissive really comes out after a spanking, right?)
So yesterday, after he spanked me, we went to wal-mart. Now, he's been using this flimsy little paint stirrer for warming up. The paint stirrer, doesn't really hurt, but it makes it easier to take the others, like the brush, paddle and the dreaded back scratcher! So at walmart yesterday, we stumble across a bigger paint stirrer. It cost 28 cents. Bossman said, who knew you could have so much fun with 28 cents! Of course last night he had to give it a test run. Nothing major (we have the wildchild, and she is up late!) because it's loud. But it's seems like it will be much stingier. (is that a word?) I'll let you know when we've fully tested it out.
So, that's how it's going so far.
Now before I go, I would like to explain about the dreaded back scratcher.
See, I've never had the cane. I don't think Bossman would even want to try it. But the back scratcher, in my opinion, seems to be similar to a hand sized cane. It tends to leave a nice stinging line wherever he lands it. Personally, I hate that stupid thing. But Bossman thinks it gets the point across nicely! Whatever!!! I still don't like it. ;)
Well, that's it for now, lets just hope the spankings keep coming!
Yes, we are still spanking away! I am so happy! We are still having some down time, but that happens to everyone. We are still working out the kinks (I love the word KINK!) in this whole arrangement, but basically I've gotten 3 spankings so far.
I got 2 last week and one yesterday. They haven't really been for not doing something, they have been more for the fact that he just wants to spank me (hooray for me! ) and also because he said he likes my attitude after I've been spanked. (the submissive really comes out after a spanking, right?)
So yesterday, after he spanked me, we went to wal-mart. Now, he's been using this flimsy little paint stirrer for warming up. The paint stirrer, doesn't really hurt, but it makes it easier to take the others, like the brush, paddle and the dreaded back scratcher! So at walmart yesterday, we stumble across a bigger paint stirrer. It cost 28 cents. Bossman said, who knew you could have so much fun with 28 cents! Of course last night he had to give it a test run. Nothing major (we have the wildchild, and she is up late!) because it's loud. But it's seems like it will be much stingier. (is that a word?) I'll let you know when we've fully tested it out.
So, that's how it's going so far.
Now before I go, I would like to explain about the dreaded back scratcher.
See, I've never had the cane. I don't think Bossman would even want to try it. But the back scratcher, in my opinion, seems to be similar to a hand sized cane. It tends to leave a nice stinging line wherever he lands it. Personally, I hate that stupid thing. But Bossman thinks it gets the point across nicely! Whatever!!! I still don't like it. ;)
Well, that's it for now, lets just hope the spankings keep coming!
d/d revisited
I got a spankin, I got a spankin!
Bossman has decided to start d/d again. I so excited about it. I don't want to get my hopes up, because everytime I do, things fall flat again. So I am being cautiously optimistic.
Monday, I get a call from Bossman, and he says, don't make plans, I'll be home in 20 mins. we have business to take care of. HUH? What business? He says, have you seen the bathroom lately?
Ok, I have been neglect on bathroom, it's true. I hate cleaning that stupid room, and it's very easy to forget it's there during the day because it's way in the back of the house. (ok, I know, I use it everyday, 2 or three or four times...but still)
Anyway, yes it is really bad. I am to embarrassed to even say how bad it was. But like usual, I figured Bossman had the right intent, but I didn't really think he would follow through.
He did.
Oh man did he ever! He came home, put me in the corner while he got things together. When I say things, I mean, brush, backscracher, and paint stirrer. Yep, all of them.
After I stood there forever, (ok it was like 5 mins, but it SEEMED like forever) he took me over his knee, and gave my bare butt a nice long spanking. OUCH! He used all the implements and his hand, and needless to say, I had some mighty fine bruises on my bee hind when he was finished.
Now I'm hornier than ever...and I'm on my period so it's driving me NUTS. Why must I be on my period when I'm this horny?
I have a question. Why is it, after he gives me a big ole spanking like that, all I can think about it when I'm getting another? I don't even like the actual spanking part. It hurts like hell, I feel like a damn fool...so why? Part of me doesn't ever want to do that again, but a BIGGER part of me can't wait for the next one. I can't understand it.
The thing is, I want to show him how much it works, and after he spanks me, all I want to do is be a good girl. But in my mind, I think, hmmm, if I slack off again, maybe he'll do it again. But if I slack off again, he will think it's not working, and so he will back off.
UGH, it's a viscous, delicious cycle! I am so in love with my husband right now, I can't even begin to tell you. I love feeling like this.
So the moral of the story is.... ?????
later.........
Bossman has decided to start d/d again. I so excited about it. I don't want to get my hopes up, because everytime I do, things fall flat again. So I am being cautiously optimistic.
Monday, I get a call from Bossman, and he says, don't make plans, I'll be home in 20 mins. we have business to take care of. HUH? What business? He says, have you seen the bathroom lately?
Ok, I have been neglect on bathroom, it's true. I hate cleaning that stupid room, and it's very easy to forget it's there during the day because it's way in the back of the house. (ok, I know, I use it everyday, 2 or three or four times...but still)
Anyway, yes it is really bad. I am to embarrassed to even say how bad it was. But like usual, I figured Bossman had the right intent, but I didn't really think he would follow through.
He did.
Oh man did he ever! He came home, put me in the corner while he got things together. When I say things, I mean, brush, backscracher, and paint stirrer. Yep, all of them.
After I stood there forever, (ok it was like 5 mins, but it SEEMED like forever) he took me over his knee, and gave my bare butt a nice long spanking. OUCH! He used all the implements and his hand, and needless to say, I had some mighty fine bruises on my bee hind when he was finished.
Now I'm hornier than ever...and I'm on my period so it's driving me NUTS. Why must I be on my period when I'm this horny?
I have a question. Why is it, after he gives me a big ole spanking like that, all I can think about it when I'm getting another? I don't even like the actual spanking part. It hurts like hell, I feel like a damn fool...so why? Part of me doesn't ever want to do that again, but a BIGGER part of me can't wait for the next one. I can't understand it.
The thing is, I want to show him how much it works, and after he spanks me, all I want to do is be a good girl. But in my mind, I think, hmmm, if I slack off again, maybe he'll do it again. But if I slack off again, he will think it's not working, and so he will back off.
UGH, it's a viscous, delicious cycle! I am so in love with my husband right now, I can't even begin to tell you. I love feeling like this.
So the moral of the story is.... ?????
later.........
hurt foot
I hurt my foot.
I don't even know how it got hurt, but it hurts. I've been walking 4 miles about 3 to 4 times a week and after Fridays walk, it hurt.
So I've been staying off it. And now, I'm bored!
You would think that I could come up with something wonderful to blog about. You would think.
You would think that I would be having a great time, watching whatever I want on tv, playing on the computer uninterupted, and just sitting around on my butt, not having to do anything.
But no...it is BORING. And the house needs to be cleaned, and I want to get up off my butt and clean it. ( I know, what am I thinking? I hate cleaning.)
So I can sit for hours and play the sims, but even my sim family is boring.
And now, I've run out of things to say, so I guess I'll sign out of this very boring blog!
later.....
I don't even know how it got hurt, but it hurts. I've been walking 4 miles about 3 to 4 times a week and after Fridays walk, it hurt.
So I've been staying off it. And now, I'm bored!
You would think that I could come up with something wonderful to blog about. You would think.
You would think that I would be having a great time, watching whatever I want on tv, playing on the computer uninterupted, and just sitting around on my butt, not having to do anything.
But no...it is BORING. And the house needs to be cleaned, and I want to get up off my butt and clean it. ( I know, what am I thinking? I hate cleaning.)
So I can sit for hours and play the sims, but even my sim family is boring.
And now, I've run out of things to say, so I guess I'll sign out of this very boring blog!
later.....
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